Topic 2.1 Relationships and communication

Emotional intelligence: Emotional intelligence (EI) is the ability to monitor your own and other people’s emotions, to discriminate between different emotions and label them appropriately, and to use emotional information to guide thinking and behaviour, such as viewing empathy, integrity, respect and listening and how one understands the feelings of others. Empathy: Trying to see things from other people’s point-of-view; to literally put yourself in others’ shoes. Family: Family is defined as a domestic group of people with some degree of kinship, whether through blood, marriage or adoption. Friend: A friend can be defined as a person you know well and regard with affection, trust and respect. Honesty: Free of deceit, truthful and sincere. Inhibit: Hinder, prevent or restrain. Initiate: Start or begin relationships. Interpersonal conflict: Refers to the struggle between two or more parties who perceive incompatible goals, values or beliefs. Predisposition: A tendency to hold a particular attitude or to act in a particular way. Social skills: Cooperating with others, resolving conflict and managing personal stress. Superficial: Friendship without depth or understanding. Sustain: Keep going, maintain or continue relationships.

Problem question

Will my approach to build relationships and communicate with others ensure sustainable relationships?

Introduction

Relationships can sometimes be stressful, but decades of research supports the idea that a lack of relationships can cause multiple problems with physical, emotional and spiritual health. According to literature, healthy relationships can help you to live longer, deal with stress more effectively, enhance your self-esteem, make you feel richer and help you discover yourself (University of Minnesota, 2014:1).

Conceptualising relationships

It is critical for our success in the world to learn more about ourselves. It is also important to reach our goals, become independent and to plan for the future. Giving and receiving feedback is how we can understand how others see us and let people know how we see them. You need to become open, confident and comfortable with who you are.

Intra- and interpersonal relationships

Each person is in a relationship with him- or herself (Koen, 2014:301). Intra refers to “inside” or “within”, meaning the relationship you have within yourself. Now you might say: How can I communicate with myself?” This is a valid question and the answer lies in stretching the definition beyond the strictest sense of the word. Our internal relationship is continuous and even though we are not always aware of it, a conversation is going on in our minds. Intrapersonal communication involves all of the internal thought processes, including thinking, perceiving, sensing, evaluating and interpreting events within yourself. As a simple illustration, shut your eyes for 20 seconds and try to think of nothing (Nelson-Jones 2006:3). You will soon realise that you are talking to yourself and possible getting visual images as well.

In addition to intrapersonal skills, a set of interpersonal skills is also critical to build good relationships. Interpersonal communication involves at least two people and refers to the different types of verbal, non-verbal and physical actions or expressions that people use when they communicate with others.

The Johari Window

The Johari Window model is a simple and useful tool for illustrating and improving selfawareness and understanding relationships. This model was developed by two American psychologists, Joseph Luft and Harrington Ingham, in the 1950s. According to Chapman (2003:1), it was called the Johari Window by combining their first names (Joe and Harry = JoHari).

The Johari Window soon became a widely used model for understanding and developing intentions, empathy, feelings, attitudes, self-awareness, communications, relationships, group dynamics, empathy and team work. Using a four-area or paned-paned “window”, as illustrated in Figure 2.1, the model divides personal awareness into four quadrants (open, hidden, blind and unknown). Each pane contains and represents information or feelings that is known or unknown to the person and known and unknown to others.

The Johari Window Model

Figure 2.1 The Johari window