The story of Aberlour - Scotland's Children's Charity

The story of Aberlour

Scotland’s Children’s Charity

Are you sitting comfortably?

Then I’ll begin.

Our story begins a long time ago in a small town called Aberlour, on the banks of the River Spey in Scotland. A community created a safe place for children and young people who had nowhere else to go and noone else to take care of them. They came to live in Aberlour Orphanage, which looked after many hundreds of children over the years, giving them a place to feel loved, nurtured and to call home.

This storybook features the real words and voices of the boys and girls who’ve grown up as part of our Aberlour family and it’s a tale that extends much further than the small town where we first started out.

For when Aberlour Orphanage closed its doors in 1967, it was replaced by a series of services all over the country, to help build brighter futures for the children of Scotland.

This is the story of Aberlour - Scotland’s Children’s Charity.

I hope you enjoy it.

SallyAnn Kelly Chief Executive

Aberlour - Scotland’s Children’s Charity A history of hope 1875 - 2015 In 1875, a kind lady Miss Margaret MacPherson Grant asked her church minister to help her become closer to God. The minister, Canon Charles Jupp, was a wise man who cared about children and knew the lady was wealthy. He agreed to help her if she promised to pay for a new orphanage with its own school and church in Aberlour. This is how Aberlour’s remarkable story began 140 years ago.

The Orphanage went from strength to strength, eventually looking after 500 children at one time, with its own farm, hospital and even its own swimming pool. But ideas about how to look after children have changed dramatically since those early days. Aberlour has moved with the times, constantly striving to give Scotland’s most vulnerable children the best start in life.

Aberlour orphans fight for their country When World War 1 broke out in 1914, boys from Aberlour Orphanage went off to fight. Some were only sixteen years old. They wrote moving letters home to the children and staff at the Orphanage. Fifty-nine of the boys were killed in the Great War. They are remembered on the war memorial in St Margaret’s Churchyard in Aberlour, originally built as the church for the Orphanage.

Eighteen-year-old Private Frank W’s letters home to the Orphanage

Jan 6th 1917 “I do not know yet whether this letter will ever reach you. We have just suffered one of the worst shellings I have ever experienced since the war began. I see the list of killed in action is increasing. It was only three months ago that I was speaking to Charlie C. Now he is no more…”

“We were in a hard fight last month and I was put out of action. I lay in the open for three days and all that time my wounds were not dressed and I had nothing to eat or drink. On Tuesday night a number of men were on their way back from a strike. I called out to them and their officer in charge said he would send help to me.

He did so on Wednesday evening.”

“My thoughts wandered back to the homeland far from the noise and death-dealing missiles. Please continue to send the magazine - you have no idea what it means to me. I enclose £3 I have saved since I joined up. My belongings are all in Edinburgh. I leave them all to you if I do not return. Farewell, Frank.” - Frank made it home!

1925 - 1975 Ron’s story - A baby comes to Aberlour In 1950, a ten-month-old baby boy arrived at Aberlour Orphanage from Edinburgh. His parents were very poor and lived in a two room flat with him and his six brothers and sisters. That year all the children were sent to the Orphanage. By this time there were 500 children in the Orphanage and boys and girls were separated and then divided into groups to live with children their own age.

“Although my family were in the same place, we all lived in different wings of the Orphanage. I didn’t know I had brothers and sisters there until someone pointed them out to me in the playground when I was about seven years old,” says Ron Aitchison.

“I have to say Aberlour was a thoroughly good experience for me. All I can say is good. I was happy there, they fed and watered me and I had clean clothes. But I knew nothing else, because I arrived there as a baby.”

Other children who arrived when they were older found it more difficult to cope. “They were sent to the Orphanage from all over Scotland, perhaps because of divorce or a death in the family. The first thing they wanted to do was run away from the Orphanage and go back home.

But I had no memory of a loving home and I never ran away.”

“These children would run away and a search party would be sent after them. They would be found a day or two later and returned to the Orphanage after a day up the hills. They were seen as troublesome or difficult, but these children had emotional ties with the past and just wanted to go back to their own home.”

Ron has had a successful career as a businessman and is now a grandfather.

He left the Orphanage when he was fourteen and believes learning to be independent and obedient there prepared him to make his own way in the world. He lives with his wife Carol beside the River Spey where he played as a boy. He now gives regular talks about his days at Aberlour.

David’s story When David was born in 1953, relationships between black and white people were frowned upon and their mixed race children suffered. As the illegitimate child of a white mother and a black father, David was disowned by his family and placed in local authority care when he was three months old. He arrived at Aberlour when he was eighteen months old.

David grew up to become a Professor of Social Work and looks back on his childhood and the experiences of other Aberlour children in his book, “Aberlour Narratives of Success.”

“I sometimes think how can a baby cause the parents such distress and anxiety that they can place their child outside the family with strangers and move on with their lives, without the child. No contact with the child. No cards on special occasions like birthdays, no presents at Christmas.

Nothing. Such was my start in life in 1953,” he writes.

David soon realised he was on his own and decided that education was the key. Despite a lifelong sadness about his early rejection by his parents, David made the best of his time at Aberlour and developed skills and qualities that equipped him for a successful future. “It gave me a belief that I was loved, simply for being me; that I did belong there: that I was valued, wanted and respected. Such a sense of security and seeming permanence, helped me in later life to withstand the trials and tribulations of life, and overcome them and thrive.�

The end of an era In the early 1960s there was a move to build smaller family homes for children, so they could live in a more homely atmosphere. This idea worked well for children and with some sadness the Orphanage closed in 1967. But Aberlour continued to serve Scotland’s children in new and smaller settings.

1975 - 2015 Stuart’s story - smaller homes for children “I was put up for adoption from my birth in 1970 because I was conceived out of wedlock into a Free Presbyterian family. I was in and out of foster homes until I was three and then went into one of Aberlour’s children’s homes in Keith.”

“I remember the day I arrived there as an exciting day with lots of new toys. It was a fairly happy change for me and I was at the children’s home for ten years until I was thirteen.”

“The wardens Auntie Ethel and Uncle Bob ran the home with other staff who lived in. It was a happy time for me. Some children came and went and some were fairly damaged, but it was a happy existence.”

“I grew up alongside another six children who were brothers and sisters to me. The home was designed for twelve to fourteen children, but there were only four children by 1983 so the home closed. The idea was that it would be better if more children were in foster families rather than in children’s homes.”

“When the children’s home closed, Uncle Bob and Auntie Ethel fostered me along with the remaining three children and they became our mum and dad. They had older children who became my brothers too.”

“Later, I studied social care at Moray College. By pure chance I went on placement to Aberlour Options - Moray and I have worked with Aberlour ever since, looking after children. I am forty-five now and have a daughter of my own, Caitlin who is sixteen.”

New approaches - 2015 Today, Aberlour is there for children, young people and families across Scotland, helping transform lives for the better. Aberlour supports them through challenges like living with a disability, the impact of drug and alcohol use, and growing up in care.

Anna’s story is an example of Aberlour’s disability work, designed to support children with very complex needs.

Anna is thirteen and was diagnosed with Autism when she was three.

She lives with her mum, dad and three brothers. Anna needs to be carefully looked after so she stays safe. This can be tiring for her family. So every month she spends two nights at Aberlour Options to give her family a short break.

“Anna is one of those little girls with a wicked sense of humour. She loves to laugh and she loves to make other people laugh,” Anna’s mum says. “She has a mischievous streak. She lives in a land of pink and loves fairies and princesses and sparkles. She loves wearing a tiara. She loves to dance.”

“When all the children are at school, that’s when I clear up after Hurricane Anna. It’s very full on and very 24/7. A normal day for us is chaos. Anna demands so much of my attention. She needs me to do everything for her.”

“When Anna goes to Aberlour Options, it just takes the weight off me. We have to live in a house like Fort Knox, otherwise she just escapes and runs away.

So just being able to have a door open is a luxury.

We can go out for a meal and the boys can have friends over things like that are impossible with Anna in the house.”

Jane’s story is an example of Aberlour’s dependency work, which supports children and families taking steps to recover from drug and alcohol use.

Jane is thirty-five and lives with her five children in Glasgow. She and her partner used drugs and family life was chaotic and the children were behind at school.

“Staff at Aberlour Bridges kept pushing me, knowing how much I love my kids and knowing how well I could do and eventually helped me get back on track,” says Jane. “ Without this support I would have lost my kids and would probably still be with my ex.”

Aberlour Bridges - Glasgow helps children in families affected by drug and alcohol misuse. An Aberlour education worker helps Jane’s children with work in school and another worker helps Jane collect the children from school and take them to after school clubs.

“People with heroin problems are not all bad. We have a history that maybe we can’t deal with and need help to deal with. But for years there was nothing out there and everyone judged you. We are human beings and most of us are good people who don’t know any way out.”

“People who don’t do so well in life just need a helping hand sometimes, we don’t want charity - just a focus to give our kids a better future.

My family are doing well with the help of Aberlour Bridges and I don’t know what I would have done without them.”

Emily’s story is an example of Aberlour’s specialist residential and fostering work, which has been at the heart of Aberlour’s services for 140 years.

Twelve-year-old Emily lives at Aberlour Sycamore Service, a cluster of homes for children who cannot live with their families. Aberlour Sycamore Service has its own school, and a fostering service.

“Some things happened in my family that meant I had to go into foster care. I thought I was just going for the weekend, but my social worker disappeared like a ghost, and I stayed with my first foster family for four years,” says Emily.

“When our foster family went on holiday, we had to stay in respite with people we had never met before. I took a bag of clothes and a float away football with me. I didn’t like staying there because I was always moving and not with my proper carers.”

“When I came to Sycamore, I thought I would get lost because it’s so big, I even got to pick my own room. I feel I have lots of different mums and dads because everyone cares for me. Sometimes that’s annoying, but it’s helped me so much. Now I know it’s not my fault that I’m in care. I like staying where I am now.”

Alison’s story is an example of Aberlour’s early years work, which helps vulnerable and disadvantaged families with very young children.

Alison is a single mum who has learning difficulties.

She has had extra help from Aberlour Family Service to look after her eight-year-old daughter since Carol was two.

“I would be really lost without the support I get from Aberlour Family Service.”

“I am very glad to have the extra help, especially after my mum died from cancer and I couldn’t turn to her any more for support. My dad died before I was born,” says Alison.

Twice a week, Alison and Carol go to Aberlour Family Service in Aberdeen where Alison gets tips about cooking and cleaning and safety. She also gets advice about how to give Carol the best care as she grows up.

“The Aberlour staff have been very helpful, because I find some things difficult - like reading recipes,” Alison says. “They help me to practice cooking and baking and Carol loves it and looks at recipe books with me and helps mix up ingredients. When we go shopping, Carol is always picking up cake mixes in the shop for us to try.”

Demi’s story is an example of Aberlour’s early intervention work, which tackles issues as soon as they emerge to help improve the life of a child or young person.

Demi is sixteen and goes to Aberlour Youthpoint - Moray where she is now a peer mentor, helping young people cope with problems. Youthpoint helped Demi when she was young and now she’s helping younger children. Aberlour Youthpoint is an early intervention service helping children with problems as early as possible.

Demi first started having suicidal thoughts when she was eight and tried to take her own life when she was thirteen. Her mum struggled to cope with Demi’s older brother, who had mental health problems.

Demi was a top pupil at school and kept her own feelings secret. When everything got too much Demi tried to kill herself.

“I had to look after my little sister. She was two at that point and I was thirteen. I was looking after her and my other sister. I was also making sure the house was okay by doing the cooking and cleaning.

Even with all that, I still managed to get top grades at school. The school didn’t see I was struggling and mum didn’t see I was struggling either, because she was so blinded by her own pain,” says Demi.

“My brother was being helped by Anne, a Young People’s Worker at Youthpoint. Anne helped me understand that some of the things I was doing at home, I really shouldn’t be doing at my age.

She said it was good that I wanted to do all those things, to help take care of my family, but it wasn’t my place or my responsibility. Anne also helped me see that my mum really does love me to bits, I only felt that she didn’t because my self-esteem was so low.”

Our Aberlour - Looking to the future Aberlour’s vision for the future is to transform the lives of Scotland’s children and to help create a fairer and more just society. This will build a better future for families. Aberlour will continue to focus on what it does best, by providing: -

Specialist residential care and fostering services Specialist services for children affected by parental substance misuse Early years and family support Disability services for children and young people with complex needs Early intervention for older children and young people

Aberlour will always listen to children and families.

Respect and integrity are Aberlour’s core values and will remain central to all activities - inspiring staff to innova te and chal lenge in pursuit of a brighter future for all of Scotland’s children.

Our future fundraising - Getting It Right campaign Aberlour is committed to getting it right for children who may not have had the best start in life. That means walking alongside children as they face tough challenges - growing up in care or living with a disability.

Aberlour supports families where parents are struggling to cope creating better futures for all children.

Aberlour’s Getting It Right fundraising campaign reflects the Scottish Government policy of Getting It Right For Every Child a joined up approach to caring for children.

You can support the campaign by making a donation at www.a berlour. org. uk/gett ing it rig ht

How you can help Aberlour Visit the ‘How You Can Help’ page at w w w. a berlo u r. org . u k to find out more about the many ways to donate or support Aberlour.

From taking part in one of our special fairytale walks, where children dress up as their favourite storybook character or superhero to take on a sponsored walk, to organising a unique event of your own, there are lots of ways you can help us to keep getting it right for Scotland’s children.

Cor porate fundraising - Make Aberlour the charity of the year at work.

Commu nity fundraising - Become a volunteer fundraiser and run events in a school, church or club.

Events - Sign up for one of the many events around the country, or even take on an overseas challenge and make it a trip of a lifetime.

Legacy - Leave a gift in your will for Scotland’s children.

For more ways to help Aberlour please visit: www.aberlour. org. uk

Aberlour would like to thank the following for their generous support in producing this storybook...

imajica.com/aberlour

Aberlour Child Care Trust, 36 Park Terrace, Stirling, FK8 2JR, Scotland

Published 2015

Scottish Charity Number: SC007991 Company Reg No: SC312912

www.aberlour.org.uk