Imagine the World as One Issue 5

IWO Magazine

Imagine

the World as One

Issue 5 | February 2022

An Exclusive Disability Lifestyle Magazine

Honoring Black History Month

Leroy Moore founder of Krip Hop Nation

PLUS Ride sharing services and support dogs....are ride sharing services accommodating?

AND

Disability and Entrepreneurship.. making it work!

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IWO Notes Celebrating the Life of Neal Marcus (1954-2021) This issue is dedicated to the legacy of pioneering disability rights activist Neil Marcus, an awardwinning playwright, actor, and poet.

Neil Marcus lived with dystonia, a movement disorder that caused involuntary muscle contractions, and was an active member of the disability rights movement in Berkeley in the 1980s. He was an acclaimed playwright and poet.

“Disability is an art — an ingenious way to live.”

-Neil Marcus

Neil Marcus, wearing a dark hoodie and mustard colored sweatpants, sits with his legs folded under him on the footrest of his wheelchair. Greenery is pictured in the background against a blue sky.

Photo by Gary Ivanek

An Honor for Jennifer Keelan-Chaffins

Jennifer, a Caucasian women with brown hair, is pictured against a gray background smiling. Photo courtesy of jkclegacy.com

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Jennifer Keelan-Chaffins, who was featured in our very first issue, is being honored by the Museum of the Courageous, an online museum dedicated to “couragous Americans who have taken a stand against hate.” In 1990, at the age of 8, Keelan-Chaffins, who has cerebral palsy, got out of her wheelchair during the Captiol Crawl, and climbed all the way up the steps of the U.S. Capitol to demonstrate the need for passage of the Americans with Disabilities Act and the consequences of the lack of accessibility for people with disabiilities.

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TABLE OF CONTENTS 4 7 10 12 16

Black History Month: Celebrating Disabled Rights Activists Why People with Disabilities and Chronic Health Conditions Make the Best Entrepeneurs Sarah Jane Smith To His Own Beat: An Interview with Leroy Moore Molly Wiesman The Body that Gave Me Life, Opportunities, and Happiness Lacey Richcreek The Eye of the Beholder Jessica Logan

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Rhythm of Relationships Nethra Silva

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My Journey with a Disability Led Me to My Soulmate Chris Mitchell

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Who’s Keeping the Dogs Out? Lilley Berrington

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How I Overcame Daniella Jade Lowe

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Dating and Employment with a Disability Nicole Elmabruok

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Product Review for Bottles and Can Openers Michelle Steiner

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Black Hist

Celebrating Disab Harriet Tubman (left)

Harriet Tubman was a slave who escaped and led numerous slaves to freedom through the Underground Railroad. Although she is famous for her involvement with the Underground Railroad, not many people know that Harriet Tubman lived with epilepsy.

A black and white image of Harriet Tubman with her hair pulled back who appears to be wearing a jacket with a scarf at the neckline.

Lois Curtis (right)

Lois Curtis, a woman with an intellectual disability, was a plaintiff in the Olmstead v. L.C. Supreme Court case, which ruled that people with disabilities should be able to live in the least restrictive environment.

A black and white image of a dark skinned woman with short hair. She wears earrings and is smiling widely.

Jonnie Lacey (left)

After contracting polio at 19, Jonnie Lacey was temporarily paralyzed and became a wheelchair user.

In 1981, she helped found the Berkeley Center for Independent Living in California, the first independent living center in the country.

Jonnie Lacey, a dark skinned woman with short black hair is wearing glasses. She wears a dark sweater with a white turtleneck under it.

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. . . and so m

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tory Month

bled Black Activists Brad Lomax (right)

Brad Lomax had multiple sclerosis and was a founding member of the Washington chapter of the Black Panther Party.

A circular image of a black and white photo of Brad Lomax, a dark skinned man male wearing a suit, sitting in a wheelchair holding a microphone.

Joyce Ardell Jackson (left)

A dark skinned woman with short curly hair (Ardell Jackson) is pictured staring at an elderly white man who is wearing a suit.

Joyce Ardell Jackson participated in the 1977 sit-in at the Health Education and Welfare building in San Francisco to support the passage of Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973, which, when passed, made it illegal for federally funded agencies to discriminate against people with disabilities.

Ardell-Jackson had rheumatoid arthritis .

Leroy Moore (right)

Leory Moore is a poet and activist and the founder of Krip Hop Nation, a worldwide association of artists with disabilities. Moore has cerebral palsy.

You can read more about him in our cover story on page 10.

many more!

Leroy Moore, a dark sinned man, is pictured smiling and wearing a camouflage jacket He raises his right hand.

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Imagine the World as One Issue 5, Winter 2022 EXECUTIVE EDITOR Evan Trad

MANAGING EDITOR Molly Wiesman

Imagine the World as One (IWO) Magazine seeks to elevate and spotlight the disability experience.

We champion and showcase the disability lifestyle by empowering journalists with disabilities to share their extraordinary experiences.

As an internationally recognized disability lifestyle magazine, our focus is on human potential. IWO

creates a connection between the readers and our journalists in a meaningful and empowering manner. We inspire those living a disabled lifestyle to dream bigger by providing real-life examples of those who have moved from limited to limitless.

Follow us on social media!

@iwomagazine

@IWOmagazine

@ImagineMagazin2

www.imaginetheworldasone.com

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Why People with Disabilities and Chronic Health Conditions Make the Best Entrepreneurs Sarah Jane Smith

Against a yellow background on the left side of the image is the title of the article and on the right side is an image of a lightbulb. marchmeena29

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s someone with a chronic illness, I am well aware of how hard it can be to find suitable employment that can fit in with the demands of my disease. I’m a multi business owner from Brisbane, Australia with chronic rheumatoid arthritis (among other things). I run a commercial cleaning business (with my husband) and a digital art practice. Additionally, I have recently started the Housebound Business Community to help Housebound Entrepreneurs with chronic diseases and disabilities build and grow their businesses.

ideas. This happened yesterday. I’d been having a few bad pain days (and nights) and despite trying to rest for the weekend so I’d be ready to start work on Monday, I was still not fit enough to report for duty.

There was a time when this would have sent me off into the usual recriminations that I was falling behind, not achieving anything etc., etc. You know that nagging little voice we have! But these days I’m much kinder to myself and I treat those days as necessary to keep the wheels turning. Taking care of myself is also important to the progress of my business. So I managed to make a list of everything When I first started getting really sick, I experienced I’d like to do this week, scheduled in some calls I said a hard time dealing with the impact it was having on I’d make to other days, did a little business reading my life. I was frustrated at my ever growing list of and went back to bed. Today, I’m much better and “can’ts” - can’t walk too far, can’t hold a paint brush, able to make my schedule and I don’t feel guilty at too fatigued to go out, blah, blah, blah. I realised all. Having a resilient outlook means I can adapt and that I had better find a way to mentally adapt or I pivot to what I can achieve rather than focusing on was going to stay miserable. I was lucky to still be what I can’t achieve. Our business benefits from this able to do some work and I came to see that despite adaptability as tasks are still achieved regardless of the physical limitations my disease puts on me, it how I am feeling. also gives me so many things that make me a great entrepreneur and I think that they are traits many I have also been given the gifts of innovation and people with disabilities and chronic conditions improvisation. I can’t always get things done in the share. traditional way. I try to batch most of my social media posts and schedule them so that I have one First, it gives me resilience. I may have the best laid less thing to organise. I have had most apps and plans as to what I will accomplish in any given day, programs required to run my business added to but when I wake up my body has very different my iPad. This allows me to work from bed when Page 7

necessary. I even do live broadcasts for my social media platforms for my group from my bed. For my digital art practice, I keep a small stack of mounts for my work already made up as well as postage and packaging supplies. I can make up an order in the middle of the night and arrange for someone else to do the mailing. Dealing with constant health issues means I have learnt to be incredibly creative and improvise as I go to ensure I can fulfill orders and don't let anyone down.

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ost people with physical limitations are incredibly resourceful and great planners because they have to be. I need to carefully decide what is not essential to running my business and schedule the things that do matter early in the week. Careful prioritisation means the urgent and important tasks (for instance payroll and tax) get done and other would-be-nice-to-achieve tasks (such as forward planning or strategy updates) get left until I feel more able to tackle them. I am pretty handy at researching problems and solutions with the internet. If I need supplies, I need to plan well ahead and make sure that I keep stock of essential stuff or I need to enlist help for errands.

days will be bad is one of the things that sustains me.

Paying attention to all that is good in my world helps keep me focused on the positives that fill my world.

Right now I am typing on my iPad on the couch with my dog sleeping on his back with all four paws in the air. There’s a light breeze blowing and someone is mowing their grass and I can smell that freshly mown smell. All things to smile about! I consciously focus on the things I am grateful for, which in turn enhances my sense of optimism for tomorrow.

While we did already have the cleaning business when I got sick, my role used to include physical cleaning tasks for our staff on annual or sick leave.

That has had to come to an end, but I can still handle all of the administration tasks including payroll, accounting, typing, and running our social media. I was planning my world domination of the crochet and art world when I got really sick and couldn’t hold a brush or a crochet hook anymore. And then I discovered digital art. If my fine motor skills are not very good on a particular day, I can enlarge anything I’m working on my iPad and do short bursts of work, saving as I go. I don’t have to worry about paint drying out before I can finish, or that my hands are too sore to hold the brush. As a digital artist I have had more success than I ever did as a traditional

I have learned to be stubborn and tenacious. If I decide I will do something it is probably best not to try and stop me and get out of my way. It took me three days to take the Christmas decorations down and another two days to get them put away, but I had a plan to do it so that it wouldn’t interfere with my work. “Spoonies” will understand what I mean.

I can accept that I may not be able to attend all of the opening nights of my fellow artists, but I can still support them online and share their work and wish paint artist. My work sells in a local gallery and them well. I find non-traditional ways of achieving online and can now be found on four continents. I consider this a gift of my illness, as I probably would the same outcomes. not have moved from paint to digital otherwise.

I have also needed to be my own advocate in regards ’ve been self employed for over 22 years so I’ve to my needs and my health - another great trait for been through many of the ups and downs that an entrepreneur. small business owners go through. As someone Other great things that my disease has given me are with a chronic illness, I’ve had to learn to adapt to a lot more optimism and a sense of gratitude. Even continue to run my businesses, but it's becoming those without a chronic illness would benefit from increasingly easy with technological advances and a more optimistic outlook on life and a deliberate the increase in online shopping. While many people sense of gratitude. Not every day is a good day when around the world suffered during lockdowns due you have health issues, but the belief that not all to the continued pandemic, for most housebound

“Other great things my disease has given me are a lot more optimism and a sense of gratitude.”

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people (including entrepreneurs) it was just business as usual. When issues about supply and postage arose, disabled and chronic entrepreneurs were uniquely suited to either pivot their businesses or their business offerings because of all the reasons I discussed. When international orders screeched to a halt and overseas visitors to the gallery that sells my work dried up, I moved towards images targeted to the local market. I removed international postage from my online store and again highlighted images for local buyers. Improvements in accounting software and integrations with taxation and government departments, as well as an ever expanding online shopping and information system, make it easier than ever to run a business from home. I encourage you to participate in online communities to stay current with emerging technologies that make life easier everyday.

may want to get out of your pajamas!).

One of the things that bothered me when I was looking for a community was that the perception for people working with disability was incredibly limited. I could find employment options for people with intellectual disabilities (which is great), but there was nothing for business owners or people who wanted to be business owners. I started the Housebound Business Community because I couldn’t find a group for people just like me, people who had some of the same struggles as well as the same dreams. Currently in the group we have graphic artists, publishers, virtual assistants, and craftspeople to name just a few. It also bothers me that when I try to search for stock photos for my social pages there are a few photos of people in wheelchairs, but hardly any of people working with disabilities. I want to change that! I want a flood of It is hard enough for most people to leap the hurdles images of the vibrant, active disability sector at work, to start a new business - I don’t know enough, I’ve as leaders and as role models. Not all disabilities are never run a business before, I don’t know enough physical and with somewhere near 40% of the adult tech, etc. But people with chronic issues and population living with disabilities in some way we disabilities also have to worry about “I’m not well have a great message to share. enough,” “I don’t have the connections or networks,” “I don’t have the energy,” “I can’t fit it around my I can now say that I’m the happiest I have ever been. medical or therapy appointments,” etc. - all of these I have work that I love, a supportive family, my art things can be overcome. I run two businesses plus sells all over the world and in local galleries, and I the Housebound Community and I work part time get to help people just like me build and grow their hours. That currently includes doing social media businesses. I’m not extraordinary. I struggle with for all three. You just have to be able to work around technology. I have bad days just like anybody else. the many limitations your condition causes. You There are literally thousands of opportunities for can learn how to do this with some persistence and people with disabilities and chronic health issues to some kindness to yourself. run their own business, be financially independent, and help others. Many people with disabilities he wonderful thing about running my own already have many of the qualities to make a great business is that I can tailor it to suit my entrepreneur. health. I can work from bed or the couch or even while waiting for a medical appointment. I can If you think you might like to start a business or sleep in the day if I need to and work during the are looking to grow your existing business, there night. I can schedule meetings and phone calls to is limitless information available for free on the suit my needs. I don’t need to work full time to run a internet. If you’d like to find a community of people business, or even more than one business so it gives who share your dreams and aspirations, as well as me plenty of flexibility. It keeps me engaged and understand some of the problems you encounter excited about life even when I’m having a bad day as a business owner with a disability or chronic physically. It provides me with financial security and condition, then I encourage you to come and find us independence. Business can be a great leveler. No at the Housebound Business Community. one cares whether you’re in a wheelchair or talking from your bed when you’re on a zoom call (but you https://www.facebook.com/groups/houseboundbusiness/

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Moore, a dark skinned man dressed in a patterned blue shirt wearing a light blue vest over it, stands in front of LeRoy Crump Stadium in Houston, TX.

To His Own Beat Molly Wiesman Musician, advocate, activist. Leroy Moore, co-founder of such influential groups as Krip Hop Nation and Sins Invalid, is unafraid to wear many hats.

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he life and work of Leroy Moore is quite illustrious. He has started a worldwide movement involving hip hop. He’s been a Paralympian. He won an Emmy for music he contributed to a documentary.

Leroy Moore was born with cerebral palsy (CP) and grew up in Connecticut and New York. “Growing up black and disabled back then, this was before the ADA and even before the Rehabilitation Act,” he explains. During his school years, Moore’s mother advocated for him by going to the school board and getting him out of the special education classroom he was placed in in school, because, as he explains, “disabled children were segregated…” He adds that when he was in the special education class he “… wasn’t doing anything but sitting in class.”

The 1980s were an extremely eventful time for Moore. After attending a United Cerebral Palsy camp, he worked there as a counselor for a year. It was during this time that he was taken under the wings of Beverly Jackson, the director of the United

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Cerebral Palsy camp who herself had CP. She taught him about non-profits. He was also involved with sports teams, and qualified for the Paralympics in Seoul Korea in 1989.

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oore moved to California in 1991. After he graduated from college in 1995, he worked at a center for independent living, which he eventually left. He then went on to start his own organization called Disability Advocates of Minorities. Then he help co-found Sins Invalid with Patti Berne, a fellow disability activist. The group was created because of the lack of an art platform for people with disabilities in the Berkeley area Sins Invalid’s work was done with the purpose of being a disability justice performance project that centered people of color, queers, non-binary and trans people with disabilities. Sins Invalid became widely influential in the disability community. Moore’s next big accomplishment would flourish out of his work with Sins Invalid. “In that process, I started with Krip Hop Nation,” Moore explains.

Krip Hip Nation started almost 15 years ago as part of a radio show at a radio station in Berkeley called “Pushing Limits,” after Moore produced a three-part series for the station on hip hop artists with disabilities. By communicating with people on myspace about the project, he ended up connecting with fellow activist Keith Jones, with whom he would go on to found Krip Hop Nation. Moore describes Krip Hop Nation as “…a network of musicians with disabilities around the world.” The group was started with the purpose of being an activist space for hip hop artists with disabilities.

Music had an impact on Moore’s life from the time he was young due to his father’s vast record collection, which Moore found contained the work of many black disabled blues singers. He was also influenced by hip hop later as an adult by musicians he would see on sidewalk corners when he was living in New York. Moore wasn’t accepted into mainstream hip hop circles in New York due to his disability, and was designated by the non-disabled participants in hip

hop circles as the person to “watch out for the cops.”

It was due to this sort of ableism Moore experienced in mainstream hip hop circles that he was inspired to start Krip Hop Nation.

Experiences with cops as a black man with a disability have inevitably colored Moore’s views on the police. In the 1980s, Moore took an interest in cases where people with disabilities were killed by the police. (According to The Center for American Progress, 50% of people killed by law enforcement have disabilities.) Moore has a long history of activism regarding police brutality that dates back to the 1980s. He even produced a documentary entitled “Where is Hope,” about two victims of police killings in California who had mental disabilities.

The film was released in 2015 at the beginning of the Black Lives Matter movement. Even when working with Sins Invalid, Moore’s attempts to educate members of the Black Likes Matter Movement on disability justice didn’t create the understanding of disability issues he hoped they would attain. There was, unfortunately, an attempt to start a dialogue between members of disability justice movements he was involved with and members of the Black Lives Matter movement that was unsuccessful, even when he tried to advocate for the many black victims of police violence who also have disabilities. Moore is frustrated by what he sees as a lack of media attention for those with disabilities who are victims of police shootings.

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ike his advocacy surrounding police violence, Moore’s work with Krip Hop Nation continues and has seemed to come full circle given his paralympic history. Krip Hop Nation contributed music for “Rising Phoenix,” a documentary about a group of Paralympians preparing for the 2016 games in Rio de Janeiro. which garnered the group an Emmy award along with his fellow Krip Hip Nation co-contributors Keith Jones, Toni A Hickman and George “ TrAgic” Doman. Currently, Moore is attending the University of California Los Angeles and working toward his goal of a Phd in linguistic anthropology. Additionally, he is also currently

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working towards the goal of being able to purchase a building that would house what he calls a “Krip Hop Institute,” that would serve as a physical space for the group’s work. His hopes for the space includes that it will have an art gallery, music studio, library and performance space for musicians with disabilities, and to be a gathering space for disabled people in general. Moore’s hope is that the space will be ready in time for the 2024 Olympics which will be held in Los Angeles. The space would be a fitting way to commemorate the work of Krip Hop Nation.

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n reflecting on Krip Hop’s legacy, Moore is quick to point out that despite his central role in the organization, the work of Krip Hop Nation goes well beyond just him. “Krip Hop is more than just myself,” he explains, adding “We’ve got chapters all over the world.” But he points out that ensuring Krip Hop continues is very much an independent effort, with the group not receiving outside assistance. He also observes that it is because of the long history and effort that has been put into building the group that Krip Hop Nation is receiving the opportunities that it is today. “What’s so amazing is that we’ve been doing this for 15 years, no grants, no money…. we built this all just doing it ourselves. So now, today, things are coming to us…because we’ve built it for 15 years on our own dime,” he explains, and shares the story of a hip hop artist in Kenya who Krip Hop has helped provide funds for so that he can buy equipment to make his music, and how members of Krip Hop Nation in Uganda not only make music, but are politically active in protesting objectionable conditions that are permitted by the country’s government.

It’s ironic that Moore is now giving musicians with disabilities around the world the ability to make music after he was not given that opportunity in his youth by the “mainstream” hip hop musicians in New York. Moore’s legacy is one of speaking out on important issues such as police brutality and providing those with disabilities an opportunity to have an outlet for creative expression through music.

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The Body that Gave Me Life, Opportunities, and Happiness Lacey Richcreek

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used to lie in bed at night and hope and pray for change. I never wanted a different body. The realization that my body would never be “normal” happened long ago. I grew to fall in love with it. I want someone else to fall in love with my body too.

I was not the only person with cerebral palsy. There were other people with cerebral palsy around, but I was the most mobile, most vocal, and most outgoing.

I was very fortunate and had no surgeries or long hospital stays. However, I could not fit in with the people without cerebral palsy either. I used crutches, and with them I had a lot more possibilities. I was the only person around with a visible disability, and most people did not understand that I was cognitively on track or what accommodations I needed to be successful.

I was mobile enough to go to a Catholic elementary school. There they taught me I was cute. I remember walking, more like being carried, into my school, wondering if there was anyone “like me.” Disappointment changed to hopefulness when someone pointed out that the school only had sixty students total, and there will be other people like me somewhere else. Confusion wrapped my mind as I wondered why no one else looked like I did.

Thankfully, I had a few older kids who helped me out, who taught me it was ok to be different, that just because I walked a bit differently does not make me any less valuable. I approached elementary school the way my parents taught me to - I was to work

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The hair that is not neat. The ribs that are outlined.

The stomach that is slightly bloated. The shoulders and elbows that are misplaced and sharpened. The voice that goes along with it that is crackled and jagged.

Lacey is pictured wearing a red turtleneck sweater against a brown blurred background.

hard, and treat others with respect and kindness all the days of my life.

I noticed what kids at school were saying about me in school my sophomore year, about my body, their biases on my mental, physical, sexual, and emotional health. I started shutting off my school brain, so my grades were not great. They ignored me most of high school. Kids did not know any better than to ask why I was different. I was wondering the same thing. Of all the people I went to school with, why was I the only one who was different?

What I see in the mirror is something different, because those things do not matter, because it doesn’t make a person any less. I see a living and breathing person who had no business being alive. I remember what a gift it is to be alive. The problem is “being alive” does not cut it as teenagers, there must be some advantage to liking another person, either money, or looks, or some sort of magical thing that I could never figure out about teenagers liking other people. Perhaps my biggest fear was that I did not see a future where I could have a friend.

I never disliked my body. I am very annoyed with it, but it was never worth the energy to dislike it.

Our bodies are the only thing on this earth that we carry around forever. Everything else in life can mold and change, but in order to survive, we all work with our bodies for the rest of our lives. I will have challenges with my body for the rest of my life, and those challenges will one day win. There will be a day where I can no longer stand up, or open my hands as I can now, but right now I have to learn uring this time, sometimes I sat alone in front to celebrate what I can. I, despite everything my of the mirror, wondering why people my age body put me through, am healthy. My organs and did not like me. What was so undesirable? skeletal systems learned how to adjust and roll with What was so different? It is not the smile of my the punches my nervous symptom throws at me partially paralyzed face that sometimes folds in time and time again. I have to celebrate every step, weird places. It’s not my bluish green eyes that can breath, and movement I make because I will never look like the sea. I wanted to know what they were get it back. There is never a contract for tomorrow. seeing.

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very single person on this earth must deal They are looking at the legs, the way the one twisted with their own physical limitations. The inward. The knees that are slightly misshapen. The issues arise when people try to compare each ankles that constantly roll in on themselves. The other, saying stuff like “I hurt more than you.” or “I butt that is slightly back. The skin that has cuts and wish I was skinny like you.” My body was always bruises from falls. The spine that is slightly curved. considered “broken” but I am proud of myself for

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how hard I worked when I was younger to walk, talk, Growing up with cerebral palsy, I had to learn at an early age what was going on. In doctors’ offices, I and move. wanted to know why I was wearing braces. In school, The world would be much more peaceful if each I had to tell teachers what I needed, what would person would accept their own body for what it is, best help me in the classroom. I had aides with me and stop criticizing other bodies, and instead learn until I was a senior in high school, because I could not write or carry anything. I had adults help me to love them for who they are - human beings. do most things; however, I felt isolated among my wanted the pain to stop, though. It is all I ever peers. Eventually, therapists stepped in and asked knew - being uncomfortable. With cerebral palsy, me to take better care of myself. These interactions I do not have a choice. I was in pain from when I happened during recesses and study halls, so once was born, and will be until I die, and that is ok. It has again, I was limited in interacting with peers. Not to be. I accommodated. I did not like how hard I had only was I talking to more adults than most kids, but to work just to stay in school. I never complained, I was also doing it at crucial times in most kids’ days. ok sometimes I did, but I used my two feet every However, it always kind of worked because I injured day since I learned to walk. The same two feet myself during recess by playing too rough and I did that ache and burn every single step I take. When nothing productive during study hall.

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I was younger, I used to count when my body was OVID hit. I finished high school, and I never throbbing in pain. I counted to ten, then back down, looked back. I tried making friends on the and I promised myself when I hit one, the pain would internet and through the church directory stop. I quickly became tired of constantly lying to myself. So I spun tales in my mind going all over the with some success. I found friends among adults world, never leaving my bed. I dreamed up worlds, who went to church with our family, as well as

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“I dreamed up worlds, where I could travel freely, where I fell in love, where I could do anything I wanted.”

where I could travel freely, where I fell in love, where I was could do anything I wanted. I reminisced about old friends; I was worried about abstract things; I let my imagination run free. It made me forget I was in pain, and how people outside my bubble treated me because of my body.

There are other distractions I used to cope with body image and pain, writing the stories in my mind, painting pictures, and making music. These outlets force me to focus on making one thing epic and forget about everything else for a moment. Art does not care about my skills or mobility, it forces me to be innovative to create what I want to.

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people in the community who watched me grow up.

With my newfound acquaintances, life was better, but still questionable. I could not see a life outside of my house, or with anyone besides adults as friends.

Few people knew where to set the bar for my success because I feared no one would give me a chance in the real world, so I would be stuck in this rut forever.

My health was rocky. My stomach was annoying me, and my body ached. Chronic pain had grabbed me, and I could barely get out of bed. I was failing college, jobless, lonely, hopeless, anxious, and depressed. I did not eat more than a few bites at a time. I could not sleep even though I was exhausted. Even if someone

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called and wanted to do something, I declined. I was someone to talk to, laugh with, cry on, do an art so scared of becoming ill that I could not see how ill project with, pass ice cream, paint, sing, and hold I was. hands. For the first time in my life, I was caring for people, like other people had cared for me.

Then one day my world changed. It was like the Immediately, my mental health became clearer. spark deep inside me finally had the courage I could never make connections with my peers, to burn. I found a summer internship at a local but that no longer matters, because having these nursing home. Because of my depression, I was not connections I have made is so much greater than looking forward to working 4 days a week. I had the any party would have ever given me. My confidence weekends to recoup. My thoughts ran leading up to improved significantly. I was more willing to try my first day, wondering if I could do it. I told myself new things and talk to new people. that the worst thing that could happen was they would tell me I could not work there. I walked in. My stomach pains disappeared, and my walking An old lady looked up at me from her chair and said, abilities have slowly improved. I experimented with “Hi, sweetie.” My heart melted for the first time in walking without my crutches, and let’s just say I will years. I was hooked! use them for a little while more. For a moment in my life from June until October, I had the best few Medical issues did not scare me like they did my months of my life. Everything finally fit together. I parent’s or sister. I have been around medical issues have a lot of growing left to do. However, it’s amazing my whole life, from being in the weird gap of having how much being cared for can change your entire a crap body but being healthy for having cerebral perspective on life. palsy. I understood how I would like to be treated when my body fails me.

Life will change. I am now working part time and going to college with better grades than I ever earned he summer internship went better than in school. I found that just because a few people anyone ever expected, and shortly thereafter, treated me poorly, it does not mean everyone will. they hired me. Slowly, they have given me My life is not a fairytale. I am still looking for people more and more responsibilities. I am now partly closer in age to be around. Here is to continuing in charge of the activities department, filling out growing and celebrating every human being with paperwork and working every day that I am not at love, respect, and acceptance. college.

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I am loved by most everyone there. They broke something hard in me, the walls I placed so many years ago to protect myself from being lonely. I lied to myself, telling myself I did not need anyone, then I found people who I needed more than they needed me. I pierced their hearts by promising that they will never be alone, and they pierced mine by making me feel something.

They knew the moment I got there I would do anything I could do to make them happy. I was

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The Eye of the Beholder Jessica Logan

A white sash on a black mannequin against a gray background. umesh chandra

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'm the founder of www.makingtheinvisiblevisible.org. awareness and other products have been created for uk, which aims to raise awareness of invisible empowerment. illnesses and disabilities, while supporting and empowering those who live with one.

My favourite product is currently the fully inclusive Goddess ornaments I sell. These are fully customised The cause started back in 2019 by bringing hidden to represent a person's body. They can choose from 6 struggles of people living with invisible disabilities body shapes or a bear and add scars, skin conditions, and chronic conditions to life via detailed images. medical devices, stretch marks, mastectomies and One example of what the images show is barbed much more. All items sold online are made by small wire is wrapped around the stomach to represent businesses and I donate 100% of the net profits to abdominal pain which could link to endometriosis charity, which has raised £550 to date. (view more or a bowel condition. online) 65% of the population are visual learners, but all the public sees is 'not every disability is visible.' I feel more needs to be done to help others understand what this truly means and in turn this will stop the discrimination many of us receive for using disabled toilets, disabled parking spaces, needing adjustments or even cancelling plans.

I run empowerment photo shoots, create a yearly awareness calendar, run the Warrior Charity Pageant and even take part in pageants myself. I plan to expand my cause further by going into schools and workplaces to run education sessions, write a book, and I also interview others about their experiences.

All of my projects focus on invisible illnesses and These images were adapted into posters, which disabilities so that more people understand and have been used by many of my supporters. These support people like myself who live with one. This images are also printed onto merchandise for year I am running 12 empowerment photo shoots

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across the UK, which will be launched into an awareness and charity calendar for 2023. I plan to arrange the global shoots in the foreseeable future once everything is set in place for those in the UK.

In February 2020, I launched the first empowerment photo shoot to help others overcome the negativity they experience and feel because of their illness or disability. Each person wore a black outfit and wrote words on their skin to represent their symptoms, feelings and even remarks they've received such as 'you don't look sick' or 'lazy.'

It was a great tool to raise awareness of their hidden struggles with the words bringing them to life and it helped people feel understood and gain confidence.

A breast cancer survivor with a single mastectomy who participated in the shoots said "I have overcome my fears and have been just in my underwear, baring my scars in a room full of people. I can honestly say I'm happy with me....my body....and how I look. I may not be perfect, but I am me."

into group photos, which were then used to create a 2021 awareness calendar. Around 170 copies sold in the UK and internationally, which raised £500 for the 10 different charities supported by the cause. As the calendar was successful and COVID restrictions had eased, I managed to organise 4 photo shoots within the UK whilst others took part from home.

Through these photo shoots, the 2022 version of the calendar was created and raised £500 for charity and sold approximately 160 copies, making the total raised from calendar sales at £1000.

Another lady said, "We stood together proud to show how no matter what we face, we Jessica, a fair skinned woman with long blonde are strong powerful women hair, is pictured against a gray background and saying thank you doesn't wearing a dark bra and panties. There are words written all over her body.

This year's photo shoots will focus on the positive impact people with invisible illnesses have on others so that those involved can see their true worth. The daily struggles of people with invisible illnesses are something we can be oblivious to due to past discrimination. Additionally, struggles of people with invisible illnesses may often times be overshadowed by high beauty standards and a lack of representation of 'real' bodies in the media and beauty industry.

I started taking part in pageants back in 2019 to use its powerful platform in the beauty industry to create change, to push myself out of my comfort

seem enough. My illness has made me feel so isolated zone and to feel accepted. There is a stigma that and lonely but today has changed that. You've given people win pageants only because of good looks, me my spark back by making me feel normal again." but I think the truth is far from that, and that this is an extremely outdated view as they represent OVID canceled future plans for the shoots, everyone as beautiful. A person with confidence, but with the power and support of social who is approachable and supportive of others, has media over, 70 people got involved from home worked hard on their performance and has made a and a COVID-safe photo shoot took place in Kent. positive impact in their community, for charity or Ant Bradshaw from Style and Story International with their platform, can do well in pageants.

Pageant Photography edited the individual images

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t’s vital that pageant judges crown someone who is going to be a good representative of their system. Most competitions involve an interview similar to a job interview so they can see if you are right for that role. In these pageants, its not just beauty that counts, but character. I've seen first hand and experienced the diversity they provide and that's why so many people grow from them.

Honestly, I never expected pageants to become a huge part of my life because I'm quite boyish and love comfort over style. However, I absolutely fell in love with the community and the buzz you get on stage. Hearing those cheers for MY body while walking on that stage with MY scars and flaws on show made me feel on top of the world.

I also enjoyed getting glammed up. What girl doesn't?

me. I make it my mission to create change for others.

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lthough I was new to pageants, I decided to create my own pageant for those who live with an invisible illness or disability. This launched at the end of 2019 with the aim to raise awareness, have fun, empower others and to feel understood and equal to their peers. It was also important that all of the money raised was donated to charities that support those of us living with an invisible illness or disability.

The first live event was due to take place in March 2020 but the event was canceled due to COVID. It was my priority to keep everyone as safe as possible so the event was canceled a total of 3 times. Despite a year and a half delay, the first live finals took place in October last year and it There has been a A silhouette of the back of a woman with a crown on her head was a huge success. The transformation in against a black backgound. JadeThaiCatwalk event raised over £1500 my confidence, and for charity and helped build confidence in those that took part or attended. although I still have a way to go, I'm proud of how much I've grown. Since I began taking pageantry seriously, I have placed top three in all of my This year's live finals is on 17th September, and competitions, walked away with charity titles, has almost 40 contestants signed up. It’s such a awards and friends for life. I now can't imagine my phenomenal feeling seeing everyone grow and life without pageantry. It has helped me focus on create friendships with others that can empathise being the best version of myself, which is what I'll with them. These projects are extremely close to my heart as I live with a number of hidden illnesses continue to do in my journey. myself so I understand how challenging it can be I know there is a title out there waiting for me and both mentally and physically on people like me.

I really do hope it's the Mrs Diamond UK Title.

I believe the pagerantry system celebrates the In 2017, just after my 25th birthday, I was suddenly beauty and diversity of every woman and I'd be fighting for my life in hospital. My symptoms only honoured to represent them in America. One day began 2-3 months prior but they rapidly progressed I'd love to be someone's role model for anyone who to the point I was screaming out in pain, having faces challenges in life, and it would be amazing to accidents and seeing the toilet full of blood up to 30 leave a legacy behind. I may experience additional times a day. challenges than my peers who don't live with I knew something wasn't right but I was still waiting illnesses and disabilities but these will not define for a scope to diagnose me. Despite my calprotectin being 2044 when my symptoms first began

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(normal marker 0-50), I was medically gaslighted by my gastroenterologist. Calprotectin is a form of protein that shows in your stool which links to inflammation. A healthy person's inflammation level in the digestive system will show as 0-50 but 2044 is extremely raised and was concerning. Despite how much myself and my doctors pushed, our requests for an urgent procedure were declined.

body and felt alone. There was no one shown in the media that looked like me and it made me doubt my worth. I'm glad I overcame this battle and it's why I want to help others find self love and acceptance because we aren't alone and we are worthy. Creating my projects and awareness merchandise has given me back a purpose in my life. Although I still fight my physical and mental demons, I keep going because I know I'm making a difference to others and that's I received my official diagnosis of acute severe worth the fight. ulcerative colitis in hospital (a form of inflammatory bowel disease) and despite the best efforts of the ore needs to be done in terms of the media IBD team, it was too late to save my colon. My bowel to be more inclusive of diverse kinds of was close to perforating and medication wasn't bodies to avoid impacting the self image improving my symptoms so it was decided I needed of future generations in a negative way and to help emergency stoma surgery in the same week as my everyone see themselves as worthy. More also needs diagnosis. to be done to create lasting change by paving the way and breaking the mold for the media to be more I was in complete shock, but also angry with the GI representative of real people and real bodies. This doctor that gaslighted me. I felt butchered by him is extremely important to reduce low self esteem and it took me years to overcome this trauma. I still and much more. True representation is needed to look back and wonder how different things could be help those struggling with body confidence and to now but that won't change things. I have to move on break down these unrealistic beauty standards for and accept what we have now - after all I survived. our future generations.

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y journey was extremely rocky. I need 4 major bowel operations in a year and suffered with post op complications including sepsis. My body was constantly fighting and this trauma has unfortunately triggered chronic fatigue syndrome, which is what limits my life the most today. There are days I can't get out of bed or even wake up and this has impacted not only my mental health, but also other aspects of my life.

I'm happily married but feel like a burden on my husband. He's had to accept so much responsibility since I became unwell. Unfortunately I had to give up my career in 2018 and we are unsure whether I will ever be well enough to raise our own children.

This is the hardest part to accept and I now grieve what my life once was and the dreams I may never achieve.

My toughest demons were fought within the first six months of my emergency stoma surgery, which made me suicidal. I struggled to accept the changes to my

One 'perfect' body does NOT exist because we are all PERFECT in our own unique way. There is still a long way to go to end the stigma for the disabled. If someone is asked what disabled looks like, they may say someone in a wheelchair or with a walking aid.

Too many people are afraid to say they are disabled, because people assume it means 'unable,' when in fact many people can still live a relatively 'normal' life, but they just face restrictions or limits.

I feel education is the key to helping others understand hidden illnesses and disabilities. With more understanding, fewer people will be afraid to go out in public, afraid to label themselves as disabled, and fewer people will be harassed, bullied and discriminated against - and MORE people will be happy. With your support we make a difference!

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The header of the article is a picture of pink hearts. In the middle of the header is a transparent white circle with the title of the article and the author, “Rhythm of Relationships, Nethra Silva.” Nuke Pramesti.

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hen I was twenty, my family moved to the south. The time was tough, and I had to learn many things. I had to manage all the stuff by myself. I loved literature and studied at college for three years. I was born with cerebral palsy, a condition which creates limitations in balance and motor control. I was born with it and had been diagnosed at the age of two years. What’s the issue with using a wheelchair if you still have faith in yourself? The way I think, the way I feel and of course the way I love, never had any limitations. It is true that I couldn’t do all the stuff my friends did at college or high school. I had some physical burdens and I still do love to be at parties, having fun with friends. I wanted to dance with them wearing high heels like other girls did. I wished I could hike and travel somewhere distant.

I remember my father saying, “If you really want to be someone, imagine your future self and create a story on your own. Remember that’s about your individual self and never compete with someone else in your journey of life. Life is not about a competition or a marathon to run until you find your name on a gravestone. If you found it one day, I assure you there'll be no more turning points.”

During my school years, I met many people, friends, classmates, and educators who made me a victim of criticisms. My physical condition had nothing to do with it because that was all about their attitudes.

Real education is not only about books, exams or whatever we learn in class, but also who we really are? How sensitive and humble are we as humans?

I have seen flawless speakers behind hushed personalities. I have found excruciating truths Nothing would have been possible if I said, “I was behind jocular individuals. I have seen enemies born with it, and this is what is destined to be.” I behind friendships. Also, I have met real humans prayed alone and thanked God for being with me in and made everlasting memories. every inch of my life as I have come so far! That was a mysterious journey. That was really a journey full hen I chose literature, my friends really of thrones and demons, but I believe that I was led by made fun of me. They truly believed that angels. No matter how judgmental society was, I had literature was an indolent subject created a family full of love who believed and supported me for conservative people. Well, I think that depends unconditionally. I have never been compared to my on individual interest. I saw something specific in siblings. My parents never favored their other kids literature that my friends never wanted to notice. over me.

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rule to apply where in organizing a phenomenon or a thought. It might be dramatic, poetic, furious or anything related to what someone really feels.

The human himself is a sophisticated labyrinth who generates impulses and impressions as an output of continuous electrical mechanism. Each mechanism is endemic to the point of existence. If so, relationships are even more complicated. The root of all these impressions falls into a deep ocean called relationships. I am of course a tiny drop of water in this complex labyrinth with lots of inhibitions and acceptances. Nothing means only one thing and can be ambiguous.

Even though I had less socio-cultural contacts at school time, my mind was keen and obvious. I studied and observed the aspects beyond the surface I could see. Silence doesn’t mean my mind was empty. Also, being too talkative doesn’t make someone is full of answers. I knew it. I had learned it. Some changes in life obviously take time, college made me sensitive towards myself. The experiences made me stronger than a person could ever be.

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hat marked the beginning of my story’s chapter two. I still remember the moment I first saw him at the door of the main auditorium. I have heard about him, although never seen him in person before. He was wearing a casual suit and black shoes. After a while, I saw him sitting in the middle of the third row with another boy who seemed to be one of his friends.

Usually, the library is a good place to meet someone special for the first time. That seems so filmy and quite dramatic. He accidentally got hit by my wheelchair near the bathroom area.

“I’m sorry, didn’t mean to hurt you,” I apologized.

“Nope, the fault was mine. I was busy with the phone,” he slightly laughed and turned back to leave.

Suddenly, he came running to the door of the accessible bathroom and held it for me for a while.

“Thanks so much,” I said.

“What just happened?” my mind whispered silently.

Well, he would have done that for anyone with a wheelchair or crutches, but that was one of the greatest moments in my life. Yeah, it was true that I had known him for so long cause I had a super talent of observation. That might be the influence of literature, I guess. To be frank, he was the only individual I have monitored so far because I had such a great interest. He is still my best choice. He was an artist who had talents in dancing and painting. I had seen his paintings everywhere in the college. There was something special about him. After we got to know each other, I never saw him exhausted even if he danced or did paintings for hours. Most of his paintings were live arts and some were abstracts.

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few days went by, and my two friends who studied music were waiting for me at the canteen. I spent hours discussing, chatting, and sharing my feelings with them until the day I realized they had played with me behind my back.

I always expected true friends and true friendships which I have never met.

Once, when I was about to leave the canteen, I saw someone familiar. God! It was him. He was in the row to buy his lunch. To be frank, I didn’t need to buy anything yet, but I wanted to talk to him. He turned back and looked at me. He recognized me, I guess.

I didn’t even know what I was talking about at that moment. Maybe I was just blabbering or repeating the same set of words again and again.. I remember one of my teachers from high school saying, if you are in a conversation, make sure to maintain good eye contact. Usually, I had no issues in maintaining eye contact, but that was really a serious conversation for me. I felt like I was experiencing tachycardia.

Soon after he went back, I bought a bottle of water and drank half of it. I didn’t really care about the huge audience sitting at tables.

“Who was that guy?” one of my friends asked.

“I’ve known him for so long!” I replied, hiding my expressions.

“Oh! You looked pale and enthusiastic at the same time. I noticed it,” she said.

“Anyway, don’t dream while you still have to take care of a wheelchair! Poor boy!” she smirked.

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She may have meant to be sarcastic, but the comment hurt me so bad. She really meant it. One of the most important aspects I learned in life has been that no matter what the relationships we maintain, they deserve to be ones of mutual support and respect.

Even in friendship, feelings do play an irreversible role. Using a wheelchair has never bothered me or caused me to be ashamed of myself as I have come through the same path everyone has come so far.

Being in a wheelchair doesn’t change the value of someone’s life. Value should never be measured by social acceptance, physical status, or appearance as it is in someone’s soul and attitudes. When I got back home, I opened the cupboard to bring my diary out of the shelf. I started to turn the pages that I had written. That wasn’t the first time my friends made me feel different. Even though I was hurt, I loved the new feeling I was having. I wrote about the incidents and how I really felt about them.

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could discriminate, I would say that I had lots of depressive episodes in life but all of them made me realize how strong my mind was to face everything.

Some people were extremely surprised by the way I was dealing with my challenging episodes.

After about two months, I was preparing some crystal ornaments for the college concert at Gateway Hall.

Suddenly my eyes caught someone in the corner.

Wow! That was him! He was practicing his dance. I was staring at him, and he suddenly recognized me.

Even though the place was so crowded, we didn’t realize that we were looking at each other for so long. I was distracted by someone tapping on my hand. She said something, yet, I couldn’t catch what she was saying. After a while, we met each other in the basement. That was really a sweet conversation for me, during which, although I talked too much, he listened.

ime changed a lot of He was practicing his dance. I was I felt insecure sometimes because I have a loving things. My friends staring at him, and he suddenly heart and a pure mind. became so arrogant and ignorant. They really recognized me. Even though the Sometimes I was smiling alone and laughing too followed their own style place was so crowded, we didn’t much as my depressive of life and were ashamed to accept me as who I was. realize that we were looking at episodes were totally turning into manic Sometimes they tricked each other for so long. episodes.

That’s not me with little lies which I caught red-handed. So, I decided to manage by because I was having bipolar disorder, but the myself and never asked for their support anymore. distress had gone away from me. My parents would Sometimes I was exhausted and depressed. I have have noticed a huge difference. had battles all over my lifetime. I loved to be at hakespeare once said “‘time is eternal for those peaceful locations fighting with my depressed who love.” He might have experienced that. So, thoughts. When my mind tried to convince me that I what prevents my time being eternal? was not confident enough, I fought back by trusting my own capacities and skills. Sometimes, that made me so disappointed. I felt I was not loved or cared I loved dancing. When I was 11, my family and I had for by anyone on earth. If my parents could hear me, a tour to France where I first watched the Swan Lake they would have scolded me for hurting myself that ballet composed by Tchaikovsky. Not only ballets but bad. I have spent countless nights crying and sighing. also any sort of western dance made me enthusiastic.

When my mentality was falling to the ground, I My enthusiasm was awakened by that special guy I prayed. I prayed alone for hours in my room or met at the college. I always loved to see him dancing somewhere peaceful. Honestly, all I did was bear in his own rhythm and unique style. Everyone on with myself. I spent my time reading and analyzing earth is special. Nothing can be compared. That thoughts with existing psychological discoveries. reveals the immense beauty of diversity.

Most authors have described their own experiences during complicated psychological burdens. They Time was too quick to fly away. My colleagues from have come up with some extraordinary conclusions literature class and I created a theater drama for and theses which were extremely empirical. If I the concert. That was really a clear image of human

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emotions and consequences of social actions. I included the reflective consequences I had faced as a young lady with a wheelchair. Yeah, I had a script. That was my personal diary. It has touched very subtle feelings and areas of emotions that I had experienced all those years. I feel that anyone who reads the script I wrote from my diary entries would say “I could read your mind.”

On the day of the concert, I was pursuing the signals of my mind and heart simultaneously. I was watching his exceptional performances on the stage. He looked marvelous in his black and white outfit with a ‘Jipijapa’ Panamanian hat. To be honest, human relationships are not a collection of many sub-categories which comes secondary to a superior framework. All of them are separated categories with specific beats and rhythms. These rhythms of course create melodies, specified to each set of impulses in the same way that every relationship creates a melody in relation to its own rhythmic organization.

I would say I found the beat. It was him whom I expected to see anywhere I went. Yet, how can I expect him to choose me as his best melody? It’s been one year that we have known each other yet; he might not know how I was feeling. Relationships hold many forms. One of the best forms I would say is mental relationships with hope. A strong mentality is a gift for an individual. That was so true for me.

Even though time passes, melodies never disappear and are composed in heart. I had never known that I was so sensitive and emotional until I met him.

People need love, care, relationships, hope and faith.

“So, what prevents me from loving someone, while I am still having a heart full of love and a brain full of thoughts as everyone else in this world does?” my mind whispered.

My Journey Dating with a Disability Led Me to My Soulmate Chris Mitchell

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ating with a disability can be challenging to say the least. The fear of rejection, both perceived and actual, held me back from dating for nearly fifteen years. When I finally took the risk and put myself out there, my disability helped me find my soulmate.

It all started in high school for me. I was starting to discover girls and wanting to date the ones I found cute or attractive. I had the normal obstacle that stood between every guy and his ability to ask a girl out for a date, the fear of rejection. I had the usual causes for my fear: pimples, a voice that was changing and the belief that the girl I wanted to date was out of my league. Unlike my peers, I had another issue that added to my fear of rejection, a visual disability.

I am legally blind, a condition that was caused by cataracts in both of my eyes since birth. My vision, when tested, was measured at 20/200 in my left eye and 20/300 in my right eye. I never have been able to read out of my right eye and I have practically no depth perception or 3D vision in either eye. I strived all my life to hide my disability from the world. I was ashamed of my disability because of peer pressure.

If you were slightly different from your peers, you were teased, made fun of for your differences, and were even a target for bullies.

I did everything I could to make sure my peers did not know I was disabled and to keep the fact that I was a disabled person my secret identity. I avoided using larger print material, especially around

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others, to help me read. I even went to the extreme someone spouted me, or even worse the girl found of memorizing where things are to fool others into out what I was doing, it could put an end to my dating thinking I had normal vision. the girl, and worse everyone at the school would know my secret, and I feared that no girl would For the most part I was able to keep my visual want to date someone who was disabled. I was not disability as an invisible disability. If you looked comfortable with that risk, more accurately I was at me in high school, it might be hard to tell I was not ready to reveal my secret identity to the world, legally blind. I had done nearly everything my non- so I spent all four years of my high school career and visually impaired peers had done by my age. I rode beyond without a girlfriend – or even looking for a bike, climbed trees, ran, played baseball with the one. More than eight years after I graduated from neighborhood kids – I even played on a soccer team high school, I had a revelation that started to change in a youth soccer league. everything for me.

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lthough there were only three possible outward signs that I had a disability: I wore thick coke bottle style glasses, I held textbooks and other printed materials closer to my face to read, and I took adaptive physical education class while my peers were in their physical education class since middle school. I had convinced myself that probably no one had noticed any of these things, and my disability remained invisible to the world.

It was Christmas time. I was living in my nice one-bedroom apartment in a good part of town. In the corner of my living room, between the edge of the coach and the blinds for the patio, sat my decorated artificial Christmas tree. My artificial tree had been in my family since I was a toddler. Although the tree was more than twenty-five years old, it didn’t look bad. I had decorated it with several strings of brightly colored lights, ornaments from my childhood and an angel with lights that had been in my family since the Chris, left, a dark haired light I knew that if I started dating, or second year we had the tree. Under skinned man, wears a striped polo even asked a girl out, my invisible the tree, carefully placed on the tree shirt, light blue jeans and gym disability would become visible, shoes. He stands next to Kim (right, skirt my mom made when I was a and my secret identity would be also light skinned ) who child, were presents wrapped in has red curly hair and is wearing exposed to the world. I came up colorful paper, with a ribbon around a maroon swester, a collared shirt with four scenarios where I might each box and a bow carefully under it, blue jeans, and gym shoes. be able to get away with protecting attached to the top of each gift that I my secret identity after I convinced a girl to go out would give to friends and family during the holiday with me. They all started out the same - I would season. suggest meeting a girl at an agreed upon location for our dates. Since I did not have a car, not even he morning sun was starting to illuminate a drivers license because of my disability, the four the living room through the blinds in front scenarios involved finding creative ways to get to of my patio door. I was sitting on my coach, and from the date without the girl knowing I was looking at the Christmas tree when I noticed there visually disabled. II could ask my parents to drop me was something missing around the tree – a family. I off and pick me up. I could ride the city bus there had been living on my own since I moved out of my and back. I could ride my bicycle there and back. I parents’ house nearly four years earlier. Sure, I had could bum a ride from a friend. friends that I hung out with, but at the end of the day I always came back to my one-bedroom apartment The four scenarios all seemed risky - I feared if where I was alone all the time.

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I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life alone. I wanted to share my life with someone. I wanted a wife who I could share the ups and downs of life with. I wanted a family that I could take care of and who could take care of me.

That morning when I realized I wanted to share my life with someone, I was in my late twenties, and I still feared rejection from girls because of my disability.

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this cute girl working in the electronic department. I must have walked by her a dozen times while I tried to get my nerve up to talk to her and ask her out.

On my thirteenth trip through electronics, I walked up to her and asked her out without any small talk before my request. She turned me down. She may have rejected me because of my white cane, but I do not want to rule out other possibilities. I may have scared her by walking around twelve times, watching her work, and that may have appeared to her as me being a stalker.

he desire to find a life partner grew. I started dreaming of my family. I could see in my A few months later, one early summer afternoon, I mind a beautiful wife. I started to envision heard some noise outside of my apartment. People were going in and out of the us married and on a date night vacant apartment across from every Friday night. I also mine. I peeked through the envisioned every Saturday peephole of my front door morning, before our kids’ and saw my new neighbors activities, we would have – two college aged girls and breakfast together. At first, one of them caught my eye. the visions of my family were The girl that caught my eye only in my dreams. Over time, was the most beautiful girl I I could see my family in my have ever seen. She was about mind’s eye when I was in my my age and wore her hair in living room, at the mall, or at a ponytail. I wanted to get to fast food restaurants.

Chris and Kim are pictured sitting together know her better. The next while eating out a restaurant with plates of At this point my desire to start food and drinks in front of them. Chris, a man evening, I managed to make my search for a long-term with a beard, short hair, and glasses is pictured it look “accidental” when I relationship was stronger than on the left wearing a blue shirt and a watch. ran into my new neighbor. I my fear of rejection for my He is resting his arms on the table. Kim, on introduced myself, learned her the right, wears a light purple polo shirt and name was Chrissy and struck disability. glasses. She is wearing her red hair pulled back.

As I cautiously mentally prepared myself to enter the dating scene, I still wanted my visual disability to remain my secret identity. Sadly, I knew that it would be harder to keep my visual disability a secret than it was in high school as I had been forced to use a white cane to get around my community safely.

So, with my white cane in my hand, I started to move around my community looking for love while I did everyday things like run errands, attend college, and work.

One evening while I was shopping at Target, I saw

up a conversation with her.

For the next seven weeks, I found more reasons to run into Chrissy outside of our apartments. I even used my disability for a reason to talk with her. I would say things like “Hey Chrissy, I am having trouble reading this” and handed the item over to her and she read it to me.

During that time, I learned what type of car she drove, that she was a student at the same college I attended, and she worked at a Wal-Mart in a neighboring town. The most important things I learned were that she was a very nice person and I was head over heels in love with her.

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ate one hot early August night, I sat outside of my apartment waiting for her to come home.

She didn’t come home until close to midnight that night. When she saw me, she asked “what are you doing outside so late at night?” I could have told her I was stargazing, instead I told her I was waiting for her, and I wanted to talk to her.

She sat down beside me, on the steps that lead to the apartments above ours. I said without hesitation that I was attracted to her and that I had feelings for her. Then I asked her if we could go out on a date.

Chrissy replied to my proclamation and request with compassion in her voice. Her tone was soft and caring as she explained that she was flattered, yet, she was not interested in me in the same way and she did not want to go out on a date.

always came over and helped. At the end of the class I left the lab without talking to her and thinking I would never see her again. After Thanksgiving that year I decided to extend my search for love to the Internet. I placed a personal ad on Yahoo! Personals.

While I waited for replies, I read other personal ads on the site, and one caught my eye. Her name was Kimberly and I sent her a reply to her ad.

A few days later Kimberly replied! At first, we chatted online through Yahoo! Messenger and AOL Instant Messenger. A week or so later, we started talking on the phone. During one of our phone calls, I discovered that Kimberly was the lab administrator I had met in the computer lab that unseasonably warm day in October. In case Kimberly had not remembered my white cane, I told her about my disability before asking her if we could meet (again)

During that time Kimberly never had a problem with my secret identity and to be truthful I was starting to no longer care who knew about my vision disability.

Although Chrissy’s response was compassionate, in person. It must not have bothered her as she she knew I was hurt by the tears welling up in my picked me up from my job at a local internet service eyes. In an effort to further comfort me, Chrissy gave provider for our first date. me a stuffed panda bear of hers named Ra-rah.

It wasn’t long after our first date before we started I didn’t fully get over Chrissy for more than three to spend every day with each other. For the next two years, until on a unseasonably warm day in October, years we were there for each other through all the a different girl caught my eye. good and bad that happened during our courtship.

She was by my side when I was recognized for my hat afternoon I walked into a computer lab at hard work in the community despite my disability my college. I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt and when I was wrongfully terminated from a job. I with my white cane in my left hand. I was was there when she graduated from her university, unshaven, dripping sweat from several parts of my and I was there before, during and after her retinal body and probably had some body odor going on detachment surgery. when I first laid eyes on the lab administrator. She was wearing white tennis shoes, blue jeans, a white During that time Kimberly never had a problem with t-shirt that I could see under her unbuttoned blue my secret identity and to be truthful I was starting to and white plaid shirt. She wore glasses and her long no longer care who knew about my vision disability. red hair was up in a dark blue ponytail.

On a late spring evening, more than two years after our first date, I surprised Kimberly at a minor league While working on the computer, I raised my hand for ballgame when I proposed to her on the field in front help in hopes of getting her to come over so I could of our families, our friends, nearly four thousand talk to her. Instead of her helping me, my instructor onlookers and the team mascot, an elephant named

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Peanut, during the first inning of a ballgame.

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wo months after our engagement I underwent an ascending to descending aortic bypass.

During the surgery, I survived an ischemic stroke to the spinal cord, an incomplete spinal cord injury that robbed me of my ability to run, walk or even strand on my own.

Kimberly stayed in my hospital room day and night for two weeks. During the day she kept me company and she advocated for me with the doctors and nurses. At night she slept in an uncomfortable chair, waking up when I cried out for help to turn myself in my bed. When I was transferred to a rehabilitation hospital, Kimberly was with me every day from the crack of dawn until I went to bed. She was by my side when I ate meals, attended both physical therapy and occupational therapy, and listened to me when I told her I feared I may never be able to return home.

Who’s Keeping the Dogs Out? Lilley Berrington

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iscrimination towards persons with disabilities is a daily occurrence worldwide.

However, it is worth noting that developing countries such as my own are still lagging behind the rest of the world when it comes to the implementation of inclusive practices.

Despite the fact that “inclusivity” has become a buzzword in South Africa and elsewhere in the world, the conversations are mostly centered around race and gender and, ironically, disability is often excluded from these conversations. Through When I did come home, Kimberly not only helped this article, I wish to initiate an honest conversation make my one-bedroom apartment more accessible about disability and discrimination by focusing for me in my wheelchair, she drove across town every specifically on the discrimination experienced by morning to help me get started on my day before service dog owners on nearly a daily basis, both in driving halfway back across town to her job. When my country and elsewhere. she got off work, she came back to my apartment to cook me dinner and take care of me until she went On Friday 15 October 2021, I was on my way to home late at night. represent the company I work for at a business Ten months after my surgery, Kimberly and I were event and I used Uber to organize a lift. I was refused married. She stood before the minister while I sat by three Uber drivers because I was traveling with beside her on a scooter. We were married before my guide dog Teska, causing me to be more than 45 thirty of our closest family members and friends minutes late for the event. This is despite the fact under a covered patio that was attached to an Italian that Uber's policy states that service dogs must be accommodated in all Uber rides. Furthermore, restaurant.

Section 9 of the Equality Act in South Africa states Kimberly and I have been married for more than that no person may unfairly discriminate against eighteen years. We have had our ups and downs in any person on the ground of disability, including: our marriage just like any other couple. I do know how fortunate I am that my incomplete spinal cord a) Denying or removing from any person who has injury did not scare Kimberly away. After all, people a disability, any supporting or enabling facility with disabilities are more likely to get separated or necessary for their functioning in society; divorced than non-disabled individuals. I believe that because I became comfortable with my secret b) Failing to eliminate obstacles that unfairly limit identity and stopped hiding my visual disability, it or restrict persons with disabilities from enjoying helped me find the right woman who stood by me equal opportunities; or when I became physically disabled.

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c) Failing to take steps to reasonably accommodate the needs of such persons.

When this incident occurred, there happened to be no Uber Assists (although I do not require assistance), or even Uber XLs in the area, and I was eventually forced to order a much more expensive Uber Black. When I reported the drivers on the app, I was refunded. However, I felt that more systemic action was required. When I posted the story on Uber’s Facebook page, however, I was met with responses that were very clearly generated by a bot.

These responses simply encouraged me over and over to report the individual drivers, and I received no human response even after pointing out that I felt that the issue should be considered of enough importance to warrant human intervention.

As I stated on their page: I do not require a personal apology, as I feel that this would do nothing to resolve the issue. I require Uber to issue a public apology to the disabled community, and to explain what they intend to do to cause meaningful change.

One suggestion would be to ensure that there is a specific option on the app to report service dog related incidents, as is the case in many other countries. This would immediately make it more visible to drivers.

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lind and visually impaired persons (to name just one group of disabled people who make use of service dogs and who require these dogs to accompany them everywhere) have regularly experienced discrimination from restaurants, transportation services, and even governmental organizations by being refused entry or service when out and about with their guide dogs. These refusals are related to concerns about the cleanliness of the dogs, concerns about how the dogs will interact with other dogs (in the case of wine farms with dogs on the premises) and concerns about the dogs upsetting or scaring other customers. Sometimes, if entry is granted to restaurants or other establishments, the service dog owner is requested to sit outside, or in an isolated corner. This is a violation of the right to freedom of movement, and to human dignity.

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A small, brown dog wearing a pink and white collar sits on the back seat of a car. The car seat is upholstered in blue with bumble bees on it. A blue coat lays on the seat behind the dog.

Hiollie McCrae-Wells

The incident on 15 October was not the first time that Uber refused me service because of my guide dog, and it has happened to numerous other blind Uber customers. It has happened to me again after the occasion mentioned in this article, and I have heard of two other guide dog owners who have been refused access since.

I am of the opinion that reporting individual Uber drivers for refusing service dogs (as one is currently encouraged to do by their customer service) will not do any good. Often, these drivers are people working hard for a living and who may be uninformed. One could argue that they do not properly read the Uber policies, but for many Uber drivers in South Africa and elsewhere, English is not their first language.

I believe that it is Uber's responsibility to properly train their drivers regarding their service dog policy.

Uber, as a massive global company, cannot keep shifting the blame onto their drivers, as this has been a problem for years now.

Drivers refuse service dogs for a number of reasons, the most common reason being that the dogs will leave hair in the car which would upset other customers. However, service dog owners keep their animals as clean as possible precisely because they have to travel with them everywhere they go, and

IWO Magazine

take them into public spaces such as restaurants.

Another example of similar discrimination is the time I was refused entry to three restaurants in a row a few years ago, on one of the hottest days of the year. In 2019, yet another coffee shop (where I was supposed to meet a business associate) would not grant me entry, but asked me to sit outside in the rain with my dog.

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How I Overcame

Daniella Jade Lowe

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y educational experience as a disabled ncidents such as these are not merely student has not been easy. Every step inconvenient, causing service dog owners to be of the way has been a learning curb and late for important engagements, to be seated in uncomfortable weather conditions, or for meeting a fight one way or the other with many hurdles to venues to be changed, but they leave individuals overcome. I graduated from Berkeley Institute, Bermuda in June 2009. After receiving a deferred feeling humiliated, unwelcome and disrespected. offer from the University of Essex in England, I The time has come for South African organizations pursued further education at Bermuda College. (whether they be restaurants, stores, or South However, I found that this was not possible as there African branches of multinational corporations) to take responsibility for their policies and the was no wheelchair accessibility. implementation thereof. I would also like to urge South Africans with disabilities to come forward with their stories of discrimination. We have been silent for too long, afraid of disturbing the peace and upsetting the rest of the world, but in our silence, the truth lies hidden. Our experiences and our views are as important as anybody else’s in a society that claims to prize equality, and we should not have to apologize for taking up space, whether it be at a restaurant table of our choice amongst other customers, or in a vehicle that is often our only way of getting from point A to point B.

To the international disabled and non-disabled community I say this: now is the time to recognize the discriminatory behaviors that are often even more prevalent in developing countries than they are in developed countries. Let us join hands to ensure that discrimination towards the disabled is not only eradicated in countries such as the United States and Europe, but worldwide.

As an alternative, I was referred to Snowdon Reid, a college recruiter from the Bradford College, through Bermuda College. I enrolled at Bradford College to do my A levels, which are subject-based qualifications that can lead to university, further study, training, or work. (The American equivalent of A-Levels are AP Examinations.) However, I only did that course from 2009-2010. On my own, I had to persuade faculty that I was able to cope with living by myself and studying. Despite concerns, I maintained the mentality and focus that I needed to complete college in order to gain more university and college admissions (UCAs) points to get into university. I met with fierce opposition from English tutor who gave me the impression that she was discriminating against me due to being in a wheelchair. I sought help to deal with this but eventually dropped the subject.

I felt that the A levels were more stressful, intense and competitive than my degree. However, I still

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found ways to get things done. At one point, I got one to one tutoring online to help with my A Levels.

I was allowed to stay. Snowdon Reid was a good advocate. I also had a Support Worker named Joan Pheasant from SHINE Charity who helped me apply for benefits and gave me personal advice for independent living. It was a difficult first year. There was lots of snow which made navigating hills tough. I used lots of taxis. I did all the shopping by myself, paid bills, bought groceries and balanced

A woman with dark skin, dark hair wears glasses and a yellow sweater with a fold down collar and dark pants. She is leaning against a bookshelf and has a book set open on her legs. GaudiLab

funds. I started using an electric wheelchair for traveling to college and back. I also attended ElShaddai Church, where I made lots of new friends and found support.

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etween 2011-2013, I had medical issues to overcome, with ongoing visits to doctor’s offices on campus. I ended up getting additional health and social care which included a social worker, carers, and district nurses to help cope with general heath while studying. During my Second year, I completed an access course in Humanities and Social Sciences. It was a-2-year course. In the end I graduated with a diploma.

Second Honours. I’ve now moved to Llkley for work experience. I am an aspiring journalist, politician and advocate for people with disabilities. Despite the hurdles and challenges faced, overall, studying in England has been worthwhile and enjoyable.

My saga in looking for employment has been interesting so far. In addition to creating my own LinkedIn and Universal Jobmatch accounts, I’ve sent several applications and been turned down. I’ve been attending Jobcentre meetings. I’ve even visited Remploy in Leeds, which is an organization which helps people with disabilities find employment, but they couldn’t help me. My Care Navigator and I visited Clarke Foley Centre, a charity that provides facilities From 2013-2017, I completed an undergraduate for recreational and educational experiences where degree in History and Politics. After registering I’ve got voluntary work so far, every Wednesday with the Disability Office, I got a study coach and from 9:30-12:30 as a receptionist. I’ll be answering specialized equipment. I repeated the first year the phone as well as helping with their bulletin, after not satisfying requirements to pass. During my selling event tickets and doing social media. second year, things were ok. In my third year, I, along with the rest of my peers, received a dissertation supervisor in addition to my Study Coach to help satisfy requirements and the external board of examiners. On July 19th 2017, I graduated with

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Dating and Employment with a Disability Nicole Elmabruok

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've spent my whole life trying to be "better" than I am. Now I'm 35 years old and have found myself, and am finally content. Amazingly, this is due to my trauma.

Seventeen years ago I sustained a severe traumatic brain injury, during my senior year of high school.

This experience absolutely upended my entire life (and the lives of my loved ones) - it really has been the most transformational experience, which I would not trade for anything. I can promise that, unless you've experienced it, you do not know what it means to be in the acute phase of brain injury and go through infancy for the second time. I wore diapers, at 18, for too many months; I had to relearn how to do every single thing (eating, walking, talking, thinking, driving, etc.). There are several months of that time that I have no memory of. You name it, I had deficits in it.

I think most relevant for me personally was the social aspect of my recovery - as I state numerous times throughout this piece, my social standing has been very dominant in my life. I very much had to relearn appropriate psychosocial mores and values and especially conduct. Friends did come visit me in the hospital (which was pointless for me since I do not remember any of their visits), but after I was deemed well enough to return home, I didn't hear from most of them anymore. I wish that some of them could have helped me to be less awkward in social situations, but I guess 18 years old is not the time when young people feel the need to be empathic in that regard. One friend, Jen Nash, is pretty much the only one who made an effort to keep in contact with me.

Nicole, the author, a Caucasian woman with shoulder length dark hair, is dressed in a cap and gown and a green graduation stole.

As a result of lack of friendships and due to the disability acclimation effort I was undergoing, I was lonely too frequently and wishing that I had died in the accident. However, with my family's assistance and help from too many non-schoolmates to name, I was able to graduate high school and start college.

Attending college two and a half hours away from my family forced me to solidify my identity. At the beginning of college I had no idea what sort of person I would try to become. Was I going to spend time with the party crowd (like I thought I used to do - did not have the correct conception of myself), or was I going to hang out with the Christian crowd?

Was I going to be the person my parents raised me to be, or was I going to be my own person? I would say most young people experience this same life event, and for me it was compounded since I was new to navigating disability. I became good friends with one woman in particular, Susanna Spiccia, who introduced me to the Christian students at Georgia College & State University.

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uring college, my life and self-esteem were profoundly shaped by two GCSU faculty and staff. My first year I was enrolled in Dr. Dan

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Bauer's English 1101 and 1102 courses. These were the classes that helped us learn how to think and to write, and amazingly I had retained much of my writing ability despite my brain injury. Dr. Bauer worked with me to get my writing up to the standard of an honors first year college student, and he helped me believe in myself. My self-esteem was buoyed, and then in my second or third year, a man named Mike Chambers became the Director of Disability Services. He was incredibly compassionate and attentive and helped me get the supports I needed to be a success in undergrad (these supports included extra time on tests, a separate room to take tests in, a notetaker, etc. - not things that give me an edge over my classmates but things that help me concentrate and such).

Unfortunately now was not yet the time for my life to become more complete. I dated a man for a few months in my second or third year at GCSU - I was introduced to him by friends, but they didn't know how evil he was. I thought I was falling into the identity of a good girlfriend, but he was quite sexually abusive. I don't want to say fully sexually abusive because maybe his actions did not rise to the level of taking advantage of me, since I was complicit - but I didn't know how to (or couldn't) advocate for myself. Other friends I still keep in touch with say that jerk did truly take advantage of me.

Due to yet more assistance from too many people to name, I was able to graduate GCSU with honors - I was very proud of myself since 8 years prior I had been unconscious in a coma. A few months later I was living with Suz at Walton on the Chattahoochee, a truly magical apartment residence, and again was trying to find my man and went about it so wrongly.

I came to be friends with at least one single guy (probably several single guys) at the coffee shop, we hung out for a few weeks, we kissed, and I would just ruin it and make it awkward (with that one particular guy I have no idea what exactly happened, but regardless I'm glad it happened).

grocery store Publix, as a bagger, with a Bachelor's gained with honors. But I honestly did love it since interacting with people makes me so happy.

This experience led to my first full-time job with a medical billing company - I interacted positively with a customer, the CIO of this company, and he was instrumental in getting me a job there. Unrelated to him, however, I don't think I'd ever been treated worse by coworkers and managers, so I quit after two years. After these years of attempting to be professional, of not being able to find a job worthy of me, I finally said to myself, "Screw it, I am going to graduate school to learn how to advocate for myself and people like me."

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was accepted into a graduate Rehabilitation Counseling program. There I was trying way too hard for way too long to be friends with my classmates (I just wanted to know I was accepted, I guess). I did not understand that these were mostly established adults trying to complete the necessary requirements for jobs and who were not concerned whether classmates liked them or not. During this time I was extremely lonely again (although I don't think I was wishing I had perished in the car wreck, thankfully) and cried very frequently, even when this was more than inappropriate, like at school.

Yes, I had depression at the time, but I was in the process of learning how to combat it as a counselor - it seemed I didn't apply any of those tools to myself.

The intense loneliness I felt ended up being a good thing because I reached out to my neighbor, and we decided we liked each other a lot and started dating.

This man is amazing and has taught me so much about life and about myself.

Hisham is an immigrant and has had plenty of suffering himself, and unfortunately I just made him suffer some more. When I first met him, I was so incredibly immature and didn't even try to act like a "normal" woman. I am more than appalled at the way I acted and the way I treated him - let me share some of my behaviors. I began hanging out with him and his roommates to deny my loneliness, and there was While at Walton and after undergrad where one is one guy named Osama - for some reason, for many supposed to learn things to get a job, my lack of work weeks, I kept saying, "Osama yo momma." I thought skills prevented me from getting appropriate gainful it was hilarious but I'm sure they wanted to tell employment for several years, which obviously was me to shut up the entire time - so super immature. such a great blow to my self-esteem and how I felt When I was with him in the community (Starbucks, about myself. In Vinings, I got my first job at the Walmart, hanging with friends, etc.), I made sure to

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tell people we were chatting with that we were not dating. Why did I feel that was even necessary? Was I ashamed of him? I would tell my roommate all the time that we were not having sex because we were not, but that was none of her business, and I'm 100% sure she didn't care anyway (my messed up thinking was that if I tell people, they won't think that we are - so dumb). He's definitely helped guide me with the appropriate way to act and honestly still shapes my behavior. It's been so difficult accepting this love, but he's mentioned so often and I've thankfully come to understand: if he were not doing this he would not love me.

beginning of 2018, which was when my life, in some sense, fell apart again. I was in the process of completing my graduate counseling internship, and I had way too much stress from attempting to juggle grad school and adult life (and trying to act as someone who wasn't quite me), which led to experiencing suicidal ideation, which led to quitting my internship, which led to getting kicked out of grad school.

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hroughout all this, Hisham has said that the counseling grad experience was not for me to become a counselor, but for me to be able to counsel myself. I still owed the grad scholarship Dating with my brain injury and his cultural back- money regardless of whether or not I was able to ground certainly was not easy. He and I have had a complete school--my goal now was to find a job in my field ASAP so lot of navigating of that I wouldn't have this space to do, but to pay back the monwe did it together ey (it was the sort and understood that of thing where you each of us was trying work a few years for our best. I remember Georgia Vocational one time before we Rehabilitation Asgot married I was sociation and your in communication scholarship was paid with this guy I'd met off.) I couldn't find a through one of my job for which I gave volunteer groups-the impression that I okay, that's okay, but was a good fit or was this dude sexually qualified for so I took harrassed me via jobs that were not text all the time and Rehabilitation CounI still talked with him A brown card in lighter brown colored font says Mr. and Mrs. On top of that selor-related. Since "because I was try- text, in gold cursive, are the words “officially.” Below this are two pictures ing to help him know of Nicole and Hisham. One is of Nicole in a white wedding dress, holding a I'd recently had a viJesus." This thinking bouquet of flowers with her arm around Hisham. Hisham stands next to sion of myself carryis completely wrong, her dressed in a dark suit, brown shoes, and a red tie. Next to this is another ing out suicide, I was unhealthy, unsafe, picture of Nicole and Hisham. Hisham is dressed in a white shirt and a red not well at that time tie. He is holding his wedding place card. He stands next to Nicole, who is and these ended in and I called myself a wearing a red dress, a necklace, and earrings. They are both smiling. disaster. feminist! I don't get it. Rightfully Hisham became very angry about this Hisham has provided his support the entire time and demanded for me to stop talking with this guy. and we got married in the summer of 2018. The This instance (and unfortunately many others like ensuing years have been a roller coaster for both it) occurred because I didn't fully know myself or of us since I still have been learning who I am and truly love myself. Now I realize how incredibly in- how to treat my husband. I want to say, "We have appropriate that man was behaving as well as my had our spats because that's what married people own impropriety - I continued talking with him - but do," but so much of it was so unnecessary and due to my disability and my idea of myself, of who I was as I didn't see how bad that was at the time. a human being and adult.

Hisham and I had been dating several years at the

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that is a great fit and one that has provided plenty of upward mobility. It's very engaging (I'm constantly using my brain) and I'm good at unemployment insurance call center and claims processing. I love working at home, and I'm treated so well, so respectfully. My managers and supervisors have been very understanding of my disability and now my pregnancy since I am expecting a baby. They work very hard to ensure that I am succeeding.

Michelle Steiner Each week I have individual and team meetings with direct supervisors, so I have ample time to ask questions and make sure that I know how to do my ne of the most difficult parts of having job well. I've also been promoted three times, I've limited hand dexterity is opening up cans received several raises, and my teams have always and bottles. I struggled to open lids with a been extremely supportive. I am just so grateful I manual opener as a child. A seemingly easy item to have finally been given this opportunity. use felt impossible. Using automatic can and bottle ooking back over my life over the past decade, I openers is the only way that I am able to open a can recognize that it took years of my own internal suffering that I frequently brought on myself, that doesn’t have a pull top lid. Recently my electric years of being married, and way too much pain for can opener broke, and thus began the search for me to be able to say now I am not jealous of anyone a new one. I tested two different kinds of can and and I like my life a lot. Hisham has constantly had to bottle openers. remind me that I don't need to defend myself and that he's on my side. He's helped show me that my struggles have made my life beautiful, and we have I tried a hand-held finally been able to turn ashes to beauty. My identity battery operated can is now fixed instead of being dependent on my circumstances, and I have finally fully embraced my opener. Using this one roles as wife and soon-to-be mother (and worker was like using a manual and homeowner and citizen and dog owner, etc., opener with batteries. etc.), the real Nicole [Slifcak] Elmabruok. Finally, No matter how hard I A battery operated bottle now I truly know who and whose I am, and I know opener. A small black jar tried, I was not able to opener sits on a white lace what's actually important. open the can. The only table cloth. f you would like to learn more about TBI recovery, please look at www.braininjurypeervisitor.org where there are some really wonderful articles advantage would be it about rehabilitation and just being a survivor of would be small enough brain injury. to fit in a drawer, saving kitchen space.

Product Reviews for Can and Bottle Openers

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I decided to order another electric can opener.

Once again I had success in opening cans. Using an electric can opener is so much easier for me.

A blue electric can opener with colorful flowers on the front.

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Plus, I love the blue background and the flowers on the front.

Another gadget that I tried was jar openers. I tried both an electric and a manual opener. I often struggle to open tight lids on jars.

The battery-operated jar opener opened my jars with ease. The opener is also small enough to fit in my utensil container. It is also portable, perfect for picnics!

.A curved manual jar opener sits on a light colored table cloth

Opening jars and cans can be difficult with limited hand dexterity. Thankfully there are products that make it easier to open things. Having the ability to be able to open products enables me to be more independent and cook with more ease.

The manual jar opener was much more difficult A white jar opener sits on a table next to the yellow box for me to use. The opener it came in could only be used on very small lids. It would not fit on the lids of salsa or other larger lids. After a struggle I was able to open a small bottle of tea, but it spilled.

Submit your articles about art, dating advocacy, product reviews, money accessibility or any other topics related to disability between 2000-3000 words by emailing magazine@goteamevan.com or through our website.

www.imaginetheworldasone.com

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