2000 Vol 3, September

I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES NEWSLETTER VOLUME 11 NUMBER 3

SEPTEMBER, 2000

HOW DO I FIND GOD?

by Jim Gordon, President of ILM

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hile I was on a trip recently, someone came up to me and asked, “Jim, how do I find God?” For some reason this question sent me off on a search inside myself for a clearer understanding of what the answer is for me. I have an answer that I could have given this person, but this time the question sparked an inner quest for a clear, simple and heartfelt response.

I began to search inside myself for what this question really meant to me. I found myself looking at each of the words in the question, one by one. The first word is, “How?” As I looked inside with “How” in my mind, I experienced a feeling of separation and aloneness. Then there arose the sense of a question, and of the quest for the answer. The quest was an action. The action seemed to open up the feelings of stuckness that first came up with the word, “How,” and gave me a direction to move toward understanding. So action, or movement seemed to come out of the first word, “How?” I moved on to the second word. And what do you know, the word is, “do.” So very quickly, the question invokes an answer. “How?” “Do!” Well, okay, what to do? The first thing that came up for me was a phrase that has served me well over the years.

“Be still and know that I am God.” It is a phrase that we have all heard and yet without the doing, the action, the phrase means very little. I have found that being still is one of the greatest actions I have ever done. It has been through this action, through being still, that I have found the greatest awareness and the greatest experiences. So my understanding of “do” is to “be still and know.”

So far, in the search for the understanding of the question, “how” leads me to “do,” and more specifically, to “be still.” Now the next word in the question is, “I.” Well, in the phrase, “Be still and know that I am God,” to know the identity of “I” is the reason for the injunction to “Be still.” So now I have not only

an action, “Be still,” but I also have a reason: to know that “I am God.” The doing is taking me to the knowing of God. I went on to the next word, “find,” and I pondered inside myself what it is that I am searching for.

Knowing what I am looking to find can help me know where to look. If I am searching to find my keys, I know that the most likely place to look is on my dresser. If it is not there I will look on the kitchen counter, and if it is not there I will go look in the pocket of the last pair of pants I had on. In searching for my keys I begin my search in the most obvious place and continue on until I find them. That which I am questing to find in this question is God. “Find God.” How do I know where God is to be found?

Instantly I felt overwhelmed by this task of finding God. So I just stopped and looked at what I was searching to find, the last word in the question, “God.” Well, I have heard it said that God is in heaven. If God is found in heaven, then how do I get to heaven to find God? A statement from the Bible gives me direction. “The kingdom of heaven is within you.” This gives me direction. Go within. To do this I make myself still with my eyes closed and my attention focused inward and upward or, “Be still and know that I am God.” The person again asked me, “Jim, how do I find God?” My attention snapped back to the present. We were standing in the lobby of my hotel — and what had seemed like many minutes had really been just a few seconds. I answered in the way I usually find myself answering this question but from a new place of knowing.

I said to him: “For me the answer is meditation, going within and finding that God is in all things. So, I go within and find God there in the stillness of my meditation. The one phrase that has always served to remind me when I go into my doubt is the statement, ‘Be still and know that I am God.’ For me God is loving, so I find that if I follow the loving in my meditation and in my life, I find God. Find a meditation that works for you and practice it daily and find that place where God and you are one. For me that is the loving of God and God’s loving of me.”

THE BROOM IN THE HALL

by Steven McAfee ILM Midwest Coordinator

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hall looked just the same. “What kind of school is this, anyway?” he thought.

As he opened the door the next morning, the broom (which someone had leaned against his door in the night) fell in on his head. He had to push it aside and climb over it to get into the hall, and he was more than a little annoyed. All that day, still no classes. That night, he had to climb back over the broom to get into his room. He found himself resenting this treatment, and he felt betrayed. “Obviously, he has no secrets to teach. He’s just an eccentric old man.”

Angrily, he went to Pythagoras to resign. Pythagoras gently explained, “Not all training takes place inside the classroom. Your instruction began when you arrived. You saw that the hall needed attention, and yet you did nothing. That was your first lesson. Later, a broom was placed within your reach, but you ignored it, waiting for someone else to do what you knew needed done. That was your second lesson. Finally, I myself placed the broom squarely on your doorstep. Instead of picking it up, you tripped over it and were angry with whoever put it there. That was your third lesson. This is your next lesson: I can teach you my secrets only when you demonstrate an attitude of willingly doing what you know needs to be done. Until one cares for what is obviously in need of attention, it will be difficult for him to respond to the more subtle realities of life.

Build a solid foundation for the higher wisdom by paying attention and accepting responsibility for your little corner of the world. Divine instruction is present in every moment. Be awake to it. Develop the habit of acting on what you know. Then, I will gladly share any wisdom I have with you.”

That’s the end of the story. I’d like to tell you what became of that young man, but there’s a broom in my hallway at the moment, and I need to go.

e just returned from a summer of travel that began with the TO TOUCH THE HEART retreat, moved into a personal trip for a meditation retreat in New York, and then on to a wonderful journey with the ILM staff to England. As I write this article, our home is filled with half-unpacked suitcases, retreat boxes, a mountain of mail, and a stack of bills. But all I want to do is sit here and be “spiritual.” I find myself not wanting to deal with all the daily necessities of putting everything back in order and catching up with it all. Do you ever think to yourself, “Gee, it would be so easy to be spiritually awakened, if only I didn’t have to deal with life all the time!” It reminds me of a story that has helped me to find the humor in things and to re-focus myself on the task at hand. It is a story about a young student who applied to the famous “mystery school” of Pythagoras, eager to learn all the secrets of life.

In the story, Pythagoras informed the young man, for reasons unspoken, that he did not have the proper attitude to be his student. The young man was very upset and assured Pythagoras he was mistaken, that he was sincere and had a strong desire to learn. And so he was granted admission.

On his first day, the young man noticed that the hallway outside his room was cluttered and dirty.

“This is disappointing,” he thought, “but no matter, I’m here for the classes.” But there were no classes for him — not that morning, nor after lunch, nor after dinner. Confused and irritated, he noticed that, not only were there no classes, but that the hall still hadn’t been cleaned, when someone obviously should have taken care of it by now.

The next day there was a large broom standing in the hall. “Good,” he said to himself,” someone is finally going to clean the place.” Still no classes.

Lunch came. Then dinner. Still no classes. That night the broom hadn’t moved from its place, and the 2

I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES

CALENDAR

C LASSES & P ROGRAMS : S EPTEMBER - D ECEMBER , 2000 P RESENTED

BY J IM G ORDON : For additional information, call Laura Kesten at 512-894-0992

W

EEKLY

CLASSES:

Jim’s weekly Austin class is held Tuesdays 7:00 pm - 9:00 pm,

ILM Center, Franklin Sq. Bldg., 3724 Jefferson, Ste. 100, Austin, TX. Classes will resume on September 26, 2000.

Each class includes spiritual teaching, practical exercises, group discussion, and meditation.

Jim helps participants to become more deeply in touch with the Spirit within.

LIVING IN THE HEART OF THE BELOVED with ILM Ministers: Jim Gordon, Laura Kesten, Steven McAfee, Brian Yeakey TIME: November 3-5, Fri. 7:30 pm - Sun. 1:00 pm PLACE: Seasons, Fetzer Institute–Kalamazoo, MI COST: $100 The staff of INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES invites you to join us in taking another step on the great journey of opening our hearts to Spirit. Over the past year we have been offering the TO TOUCH THE HEART workshop, where we focused on balancing our physical, emotional, mental and spiritual hearts. Now in our newest workshop, LIVING IN THE HEART OF THE BELOVED , we will explore the spiritual heart in greater depth. Topics include: awakening the loving within, and ‘living the loving’ as a day-to-day practice. This workshop provides us all a great opportunity to experience the joy, love, and peace that come as our spiritual hearts open more and more.

Note: attendance at a TO TOUCH THE HEART workshop is NOT a prerequisite.

(For further information call Steven McAfee at 219-485-2167) ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○

ILM R EGISTRATION F ORM : Please send check (payable to ILM) along with this registration form to: S TEVEN M C A FEE , 6228 L OMBARD P LACE , F ORT W AYNE , IN 46815 (Please print)

L IVING I N T HE H EART O F T HE B ELOVED

N AME ( S ): A DDRESS & Z IP C ODE : D AYTIME P HONE :

E VENING P HONE : 3

(This pullout ILM Calendar continues on pages 4, 5 and 6.)

I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES CALENDAR PRESENTED BY LAURA KESTEN: For additional information, call Laura Kesten at 512-894-0992 This is a weekend for “pampering” at the YMCA OMEN’S “PAMPER” WEEKEND: W Sherman Lake Retreat Center. This package includes: a 30 minute massage, a 30 minute Reiki session, a foot massage, a footbath, and a session on a “chi-machine.” Learn ways to support your mind and body through vitamins and herbs, aromatherapy, self-massage, meditation, and humor. We will also participate in a really cool body movement session specifically designed to accommodate both the lowenergy and high-energy mover. And let's not forget the facials!!! All of the activities are at your option.

Sound wonderful? Join us on this wonderfully supportive, relaxing, and “pampering” weekend.

Sept. 8-10 YMCA Sherman Lake Retreat Center Augusta, MI $145

P EACEMAKER: In an Iroquois Native American legend dating back to 1200 A.D., the Peacemaker and his allies created a peaceful democracy among the five troubled nations of the northeastern woodlands. Together they persuaded the people to change old belief systems, and embraced what the Peacemaker called a “New Mind.” Jean Houston describes the New Mind as “a radical change in consciousness that opens itself to a new order of health, justice, and sacred power.” We offer the incredible teachings of the Peacemaker in this powerful workshop as an opportunity to begin letting go of negative belief systems and behaviors that no longer serve us, thus embracing the New Mind, and re-connecting with our own peacemaker hearts within.

Oct. 13-15 Pretty Lake Retreat Center Mattawan, MI $125 NFOLDING CREATIVE SPIRIT: This workshop is an uplifting, experiential workU shop designed to awaken and embrace the inner and outer creative self. Using art as a medium, we offer

T HE

a variety of experiences as a means to enhance this process of liberation. This type of workshop is not about being an artist, or whether you believe you are creative or not. It is about opening ourselves to the creative possibilities that are inherent within us all. It is also about listening in a new way or with a “new mind and heart” to the positive and negative judgments we tell ourselves about our own creative potential. Please join us for an enlightening day with our Unfolding Creative Spirit.

Dec. 3 Sun, 9 am - 5 pm ILM Center $25

I N T HE

EART O F H EARTS : In the Heart of Hearts — What is your truth? How can we H begin to put our “truth” into words, and then into action? Participate in a process of getting in touch

with your passionate truth, and then the process of stepping forward into “next steps.”

Dec. 29-30 Fri. 7 pm - Sat. 5 pm GilChrist $75

A CIRCLE

OF

W OMEN : A “S ENSES ” M EDITATION — In this guided meditation, experience

a deeper peace throughout your whole being, bringing peace and stillness to the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects of yourself.

Sept. 22 Fri, 7 pm-9 pm ILM Center, Austin NC

S PECIAL E VENING — This month’s Circle of Women is set for a little longer stretch of time. We begin with drumming, followed by a meditation, and then view the film “Smoke Signals.”

Oct. 28 Fri, 7 pm-10 pm ILM Center, Austin NC T HANKSGIVING — Share in a special gratitude ritual and join us for a wonderful community Thanksgiving dinner. We'll begin to gather at 6:30pm.

Nov. 24 Fri, 7 pm-9 pm Laura Kesten's residence, Dripping Springs NC C REATIVITY E VENING — We will meet at Ceramics Bayou. You can pick out a piece of pottery in the raw, paint it, and they will fire it for you. Around the holidays, it is good to take some time for yourself, be creative, and just hang out with a group of women. Give yourself this gift.

Dec. 15 Fri, 7 pm-9 pm Ceramics Bayou, West Lake Hills $15-$25 4

I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES CALENDAR PRESENTED BY STEVEN R. MCAFEE: For additional information, call Steven at 219-485-2167

T

UESDAY CLASSES: Classes are held from 7:30 pm - 9:00 pm at Unity Church, 3232 Crescent Ave., Ft. Wayne, IN. Classes include spiritual teaching, music, meditation, practical application, and group sharing.

Sept. 5, 12, 19, 26

S

Oct. 3, 10, 17, 24

Nov. 7, 14, 21, 28

Dec. 5, 12

MYSTICAL BIBLE STUDY:

Discover the mystical teachings in the Bible and how to apply them in your life. Every Sunday 9:00 am - 10:00 am, 6228 Lombard Place, Ft. Wayne, IN (please note that Sunday meetings are not held on the weekends when ILM workshops or retreats are scheduled; call Steven for up-to-date information). Families are welcome.

UNDAY

Sept. 10, 17, 24

S

UNDAY

Oct. 8, 15, 29

Nov. 12, 19

Dec. 10, 17

SERVICES: Steven periodically conducts worship services as a guest minister for

various churches and spiritual groups in the Ft. Wayne area. Please call for a current schedule.

COMMUNITY NIGHTS:

The Ft. Wayne ILM “community” comes together for potlucks, music nights, video nights, and outings. Most of these events are also suitable for children. They are usually scheduled spontaneously as an inspiration arises within the group. The one presently planned will be a Christmas service and celebration at 7:00 pm in our home at 6228 Lombard Place in Ft. Wayne.

December 19

M

THE

YSTICAL S TUDY GROUP: A monthly study group focusing on the mystical teachings at the heart of both Judaism and Christianity. Participation in the group is still open. The study materials consist of two tape series by Rabbi David Cooper, “The Mystical Kabbalah” and “The Holy Chariot” and a book by Thomas Merton entitled “The New Man.” We learn meditations and practices that draw us closer to God and closer to one another. I meet with the group every other month in a day-long workshop from 11:00 am - 4: 00 pm. On the intervening months, the group meets without me for discussion and sharing. In October, we will have a full weekend retreat together.

W ORKSHOPS WITH S TEVEN : Sun., Dec. 3 11:00 am - 4:00 pm

Richland, MI

Donation

G ROUP M EETINGS will be on Friday afternoon (exact time TBA) : Fridays, Sept. 22 & Nov. 17 Richland, MI

Donation

R ETREAT WITH S TEVEN : Fri., Oct. 20 7:30 pm - Sun., Oct. 22, 2:30 pm

$225

S

Yarrow, Augusta, MI

RENEWAL RETREAT:

In the quiet serenity of GilChrist, we will have a weekend to slow down, to breathe, to listen, and to re-discover the voice of our own soul. We will see how meditation, prayer, writing, walking and singing can strengthen our sense of peace and well-being. In the process, we find a renewed inspiration and commitment to incorporate more simplicity and harmony into our lives.

PIRITUAL

Sept. 29-Oct. 1

Fri. 7:30 pm - Sun. 1:00 pm

GilChrist, Three Rivers, MI $100

(Note: please be aware that new programs are often scheduled after the newsletter goes to press, and, in rare instances, published schedules may have to be altered. For current information on any event or series, please call the presenter or contact person listed with the program. Thank you.)

5

INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES MATERIALS LIST NEW TAPE

NEW TAPE

A Soul’s Journey

A NEW TAPE BY J IM G ORDON

In this talk Jim discusses the symbols of the Exodus and other symbols of the Bible as well.

Jim shows how the Bible can be seen not as a collection of unrelated stories but as the story of one Soul’s journey towards the awakening of its own divinity.

AUDIO TAPES OF JIM GORDON

ILM BOOKS

Each tape is $8.95. Two titles together indicate different lectures on each side.

B Y J IM G ORDON ($6 each)

G UARDIAN A NGELS

(1998)

S OUL

(1998)

VS

E GO

A NGELS

(1997)

(M ANIFESTING ) A BUNDANCE I

(1997)

(M ANIFESTING ) A BUNDANCE II

(1997)

S ENDING

(1994)

L IGHT

THE

A URA C LEANSING W ORKSHOP A WAKENING C ALLING

TO

TO

Y OU

AS A

Individual issues free of charge.

Please circle your choice(s).

(1994)

L IGHT

I NNER C OMMUNICATION C OMMUNICATOR , Y OU

(1994)

1996 – M ARCH , J UNE , S EPT ., D EC . (VOLUME 7)

(1992)

1997 – M ARCH , J UNE , S EPT ., D EC . (VOLUME 8) 1998 – M ARCH , J UNE , S EPT ., D EC . (VOLUME 9)

AS A

C REATOR and A M EDITATION M OVING

ILM NEWSLETTERS

Y OUR I NNER L IGHT and

IN THE

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LOVE AND LOVING THE KNOWING OF GOD THE STAFF OF THE SHEPHERD

1999 – M ARCH , J UNE , S EPT ., D EC . (VOLUME 10)

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S OUL C ONSCIOUSNESS and

INTO

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(1991)

M EDITATIVE T ECHNIQUES

ORDER FORM

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TO

AND

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OF

P RAISE

U NDERSTANDING T HE P ATH

OF

TO OF

D REAMS

B EYOND WITH

G OD

G OD and A N EW R ELATIONSHIPS

N EUTRALITY

U NDERSTANDING C HRIST C ONSCIOUSNESS

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INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES P.O. Box 164332 Austin, Texas 78716-4332

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JUMP!

by Laura Kesten-Beaver, ILM Minister

came the pilot’s command — “Jump!” My mind jumped into instant self-preserving disbelief — what if I thought he said to jump but he really said something else? Again the command jolted my mind: “Jump — now!” And that was exactly what I did: I JUMPED! I remember letting go. I was never more scared in my life than in that very moment. There was nothing else to grab onto — I had only my trust in the rip-cord which would automatically open my parachute in five seconds. I lost consciousness for a moment — but ‘came to’ still in my free fall. Five seconds is an eternity when one is waiting for providence. 1...2......3............4........................

Suddenly my parachute jolted open — and I felt my body gently soaring upward. I looked up to see the gorgeous red-yellow-blue of my parachute, and inside myself felt the upwelling of expansion, upliftment ... and safety. I took a deep breath and began to cry. I HAD DONE IT! I had taken the leap of faith; I had trusted providence. Below me I saw the beautiful trees, splashed with early-Michigan-fall reds and yellows, sweeping across the land. An insect buzzed by me and I realized that, here, floating in the wind, all was still and quiet. A bird flew off in the distance, and I floating down, down, down, until, all too soon, my feet connected with the earth once again.

The jump gave me an instant experience of courage and transformation. The lessons I learned from the experience have sunk in over time — over the years really. Jumping out of an airplane taught me that there were three steps to stretching my comfort zone. Step one: Show Up — make a commitment to something new and stick to it. Step two: Take Responsibility — signing a liability waiver form put all the responsibility on myself, and thus listening to the instructor became paramount. Step three: Jump! — jumping right through scary moments minimizes the time and energy spent on being scared. And the greatest gift this experience gave me was a reference point: as I subsequently opened myself to other perceived ‘scary’ opportunities, I have always said to myself, “Girl, if you can jump out of an airplane, you can do anything.” Over the course of time, as I have continued to stretch my comfort zone, to take leaps of faith, to trust providence, I have thrived, my self-confidence has grown, and I have become less and less afraid.

I

n the fall of 1988, I was twenty-eight years old, and I decided that it was the time in my life to take a risk, to stretch my comfort zone.

I had been living a life of pre-calculated moves, playing it safe — and even so I lacked self-confidence, and I felt afraid almost all the time.

So I decided to do something totally radical — to take a leap of faith and trust providence. I thought if I did something really scary, like jumping out of an airplane, my self-confidence would get a boost — and then just maybe I wouldn’t be so scared all the time.

That’s it — I decided to go skydiving!

The adventure began on a Saturday when my future-husband Tom and I, and a mutual friend of ours, paid our money, signed a liability waiver form, and spent a day learning how to make a jump safely. Under the careful tutelage of our instructor we memorized and practiced the procedures: how to put on the gear, how to position the body during the fall, what cords to pull (and not to pull!), and how to roll upon landing. It was all very exciting.

After completing the one-day course, we had the option of ‘going up’ right then or of waiting until another day. I knew that for me it was ‘now or never’ — I was there, I was psyched up, and I wanted to s-t-r-e-t-c-h. Our group of three volunteered to make the first run!

We were stationed on the plane according to our jumping order. I volunteered to go first — so I took my place closest to the door. Up we went. ‘Gallowshumor’ jokes brought nervous titters. At 3,500 feet, the pilot told me to take position. I made my way to the door, opened to the vastness below. The wind whipped, powerful and near-deafening. I inched my way out the door into ‘jumping position’: shakily I placed my feet on a bar connected to the side of the plane and the wing, and grabbed the cross bar attached to the top of the wing. Hanging there on the wing, the ferocious wind tearing at my petrified death-grip, my eyes clamped shut and my jaw in a vise-clench, I tried to stay conscious and feel it all. I peaked down, taking in the perfect squares of land below, the tiny monopoly houses with swimming pools, cars, and trees. And then 7

I NNER L IGHT M INISTRIES NEWSLETTER ABOUT ILM INNER LIGHT MINISTRIES (ILM) is a nonprofit outreach organization founded in the fundamental principles of ancient esoteric Christianity. It is dedicated to the development and balancing of the fourfold nature of the individual. Towards this goal, it provides education and services concerned with the integration of the spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical aspects of the self, and also provides publications and materials that aid in this process.

Among its fundamental tenets is that we truly are “temples of the Holy Spirit.” As we seek and express this presence within, we find the peace, love, power, and wisdom we all so earnestly desire. The many services of ILM are geared towards this path of individual unfoldment—such as meditation, study, and prayer on an individual and group basis.

Service to humanity and the planet is ILM’s

ILM:

A SOUL’ S JOURNEY

A new tape by Jim Gordon (see page 6)

“The way I learned about the Bible is that the book is a story of one life. It isn’t the story of many lives as it seems to be, but it’s the story of one life — the life of a soul as it comes into embodiment for the first time and begins to experience life and all the types of embodiment that the soul will go through until it finally awakens to the fact that it is the Christ, that it is a Christed soul and it can then be resurrected back into Spirit from which it came.”

second major emphasis, and ILM encourages individual service, in any of a wide variety of possible forms, as a vital aspect of our daily experience.

Please write or phone for more information about ILM.

Executive Office: Jim Gordon, 203 Buckeye Trail, Austin, TX 78746; Business Office: Tom Beaver, P.O. Box 1086, Dripping Springs, TX 78620; Midwest Office: Steven McAfee, 6228 Lombard Place, Fort Wayne, IN 46815

Inner Light Ministries logo

from

Editorial and Publishing Office P.O. Box 164332 Austin, Texas 78716-4332 Phone: (512) 894-0992

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