Creating Intentional Interactions

Article

Dr. Allison Slade

Creating Intentional Interactions

After two years of separation, I brought my daughters (age 10 and 12) to see their grandparents in Florida over winter vacation. My mother-in-law commented on the day we were leaving, “We had a great time, but they haven’t even given me a hug!” This comment caused me to reflect on the changes we’ve all endured throughout the last two years of the pandemic, and how our cultural interactions—big and small—have changed, possibly forever, both at home and in schools.

In schools, a culture will be strong or weak depending not on singular actions, but on the way people interact with one another every single day. These interactions

Unfortunately, our focus on surviving, rather than thriving during this unthinkable time of challenge has created schools (and sometimes homes and extended families) that lack the joy, stability and perseverance that define achieving school communities.

layer on top of one another every hour, every day, every week and every year co-workers of all types—teachers, paraprofessionals, lunchroom staff, secretaries and

building engineers just to name a few— engage in. As we navigate through a pandemic that has lasted longer than all of us anticipated, in schools (and out of schools), we need to create intentional interactions that are new and different but that create the strong culture of interdependence and connection to and among colleagues. These intentional interactions are the key to the creation of a strong school culture (and they can work at home with your friends and extended family too!)—especially during this different and often difficult time for all—adults and students alike.

Michelangelo once said, “To touch is to give life.” In schools, morning hugs, handshakes, high fives and more have been turned in for fist bumps and airwaves. These daily interactions have changed in ways that impact the brain and body significantly—the oxytocin once released by these short but daily touches which helped signal and engender collaboration and compassion have been eliminated. What once stabilized us through actions that created feelings of trust has been replaced by masks which are often a symbol of the fear and anxiety. And we all have less time—less time to be together to create these intentional interactions which build the collaborative communities that help our students thrive. Layering on top of this challenge is the non-stop barrage of information regarding the mass exodus of individuals from the educational workforce. Teachers, paraprofessionals, principals, bus drivers, lunchroom staff and more all all leaving school communities in droves—citing stress, anxiety and a desire for more time at home. Public schools in Illinois have 4,120 unfilled teaching positions (2021), more than double the number from 2017, according to the Illinois State Board of Education. This challenge is even more dire for lower wage school based workers including bus drivers and teacher’s assistants. But what if the real driver of this diaspora is the elimination of the supportive communities that once defined successful schools? Those intentional interactions day after day, week after week, year after year, have departed and been replaced with new rules about cleaning and distancing and a hyper sensitivity to the runny noses we wake up to as each season changes. And, as many depart suddenly from our school communities, they are replaced with many new to the profession, without historical context and experience in how to create these flourishing workplaces for adults and students. Unfortunately, our focus on surviving, rather than thriving during this unthinkable time of challenge has created schools (and sometimes

homes and extended families) that lack the joy, stability and perseverance that define achieving school communities.

So, what can we do to address this challenge of growing complexity in schools? We need to think of and implement new ways of connecting and creating the cohesive, overlapping and repeated interactions that created the strong, supportive and collaborative

cultures of the past, but acknowledge that in a changed world, these rituals need to look and sound distinct from earlier times. Working at home, lack of child care or transportation, and new ways of thinking about time are forcing school communities to behave differently. Our actions as school leaders, teachers and students need to reflect these changing needs while still creating opportunities for connection, albeit in differing ways. Below are some ways I’ve begun to think about and integrate to build the type of trusting and supportive communities that support learning at the deepest levels for adults and students.

Laugh: Finding intentional ways to integrate laughter—every day!—for students and staff help provide the same type of oxytocin generating happiness that helps students and staff collaborate. As a school leader, I started asking students to submit their best jokes into a box outside the office and would pick 1 or 2 each day to be read after the announcements to start our day with laughter! In our staff lounge, we created a “Wall of Laughter” where staff shared jokes, funny memes and stories on post

Start school based rituals where you can learn about your fellow peers while not being in one location...

it notes and we utilized a “give one”/”get one” to exchange and share in laughter.

Connect (and virtually isn’t the same!):

The challenges posed by gatherings— even of the entire staff together or of whole grade levels—have limited the social interactions where we get to learn about one another, connect in meaningful ways and develop empathy for one another. Start school based rituals where you can learn about your fellow peers while not being in one location: have a question of the day or week and a white board outside each person’s classroom where they have to write their answer, or a see through sheet protector where they can place their answers. Questions can range

from personal to professional and you can encourage peers to use post its to place comments, connections and recommendations on their answers. When you are on the screen and doing meetings and activities virtually, break out rooms are great, but in general, people are districted with other things going on in their environments, even if they are in their classrooms. Connecting in person, even if not “personally” is critical to the building and sustaining of a strong community!

Hold Space & Listen: Teaching adults and children alike how to really listen— utilizing eye contact and repeating and rephrasing what has been said is validating and makes others feel seen and heard. In an era where time has been tight and really being validated has been limited at best, simply paying attention while others are talking or sharing is not enough. Listening without judgement includes ensuring that the focus is on the speaker, and that the listener doesn’t take it as an opportunity to directly share or connect about themselves, which eliminates the feeling of being seen. Finding time in class to allow your students to connect, share and listen only to each other without distraction can increase their attentiveness during other parts of class time. Ensuring that as school leaders, we find time for staff to listen without offering guidance or solutions to each other helps create an atmosphere of trust and safety.

Music: Listening to music always helps lift a mood. Pick a song of the week for your class or school and listen to it during passing periods, during the stressful arrival or dismissal time and in the cafeteria during lunch. Then, hold a “sing off” where classes video themselves doing their versions of the song and put them on your school you tube channel. Watch other classes versions and give them props! A 2015 study (Keeler, et.all, 2015) discussed neurochemistry and the flow of oxytocin. The study found that while all types of music impacted cooperative behaviors, improvised music had the largest impact! The study authors suggest this happened because an improvised performance calls for strong social behaviors such as cooperation, trust, and communication. As a University Professor, I have used music playing in our room as students arrive—whether in person or on zoom!

Trying New Things: Sounds easy but really it’s not! When we try new things, we lower our guard down and open ourselves up to vulnerability. This is true for adults and kids. As a teacher, you can find something none of your students have done—a step by step drawing or adventure experience of some kind you can all experience together, for the first

time, or as a school leader, finding ways to create these experiences for your teachers. Trying something new together builds significant trust muscles—the base of the building blocks for a deep and sustaining school culture. This also helps integrate new staff (or students) into your environment—it puts everyone on a level playing filed together, increasing their willingness to collaborate and rely on one another.

While a hug, and even a pat on the back might seem like a far away option for us in schools now, we need to find ways to rebuild the connection between one another in order through intentional interactions to create high trust, high success cultures in our school environments. Now, to find a way to replicate this feeling with my mother-inlaw might be another story...

References

Illinois State Board of Education (2021) https://www.isbe.net/

unfilledpositions

Keeler Jason, Roth Edward, Neuser

Brittany, Spitsbergen John, Waters

Daniel, Vianney John-Mary. The neurochemistry and social flow of singing: bonding and oxytocin in Frontiers in Human Neuroscience. Vol 9. 2015; p. 518. DOI=10.3389/ fnhum.2015.00518

Allison Slade, Ed.D. is an educational innovator whose disruption of the educational status quo is exemplified in her founding of Namaste Charter School in Chicago, IL. After 14 years as a school leader in the city and suburbs, she has moved to impact future leaders as the Director of Instructional Leadership at Roosevelt University, where she is redesigning the Principal Preparation program to create a new view of the principalship in PK-12 education, specifically integrating and challenging school and teacher leaders to become emotionally intelligent educators, and grow emotionally safe and intentional spaces for students.

Over the past 20+ years, Dr. Slade has served as a teacher at the primary level, professional developer, school leader, mentor and curriculum designer in urban and suburban settings. She is a certified teacher, principal and superintendent in Chicago and in addition to her work at Roosevelt, she serves as a consultant doing projects that span from teacher and principal professional development to organizational leadership, management and change. She lives in the suburbs of Chicago with her husband, and her two spirited, dancing daughters.