Understanding Your True Ability

back. He said to John, “I couldn’t say anything to them, one’s my wife and the other is my mistress.” John then said he’d go and sort it out, before he also quickly returned and told Brian “Small world isn’t it”. Hmmmm!

– Thanks to Peter McIntosh for this contribution

Understanding Your True Ability

(Or How to be a Better bowler)

Remember, the problem is not you. Below are some things that you might like to consider to ensure that your true unbridled potential as a quality bowler is rightfully recognised and rewarded:

• It might be the bowls that you use. So, change your bowls as often as you do your underpants (well, at least once a week). There are lots of options in colours, makes and grips that will certainly address the problem. Changing the size of you bowl might improve your bowls. For example going from a size 4 (1.535 kg) to a size 3.5 extra heavy (1.523 kg) could improve you grip especially when its raining. The difference in weight is 12 grams which is about the weight of a $1 coin. It will

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make your new bowl about 1% lighter which will make all the difference. You could also try the little ones or even the translucent ones pictured below.

• The reason that you are usually narrow or wide is undoubtedly caused by the bowls that you are using. Change from narrow to wider bowls or vice versa. You can even change from a bowl with a hockey stick to one with a banana shaped trajectory, A bowl’s profile is like a mad woman who is late for work and applying her make up while driving – all over the place like a …. well, you know the rest.

• Remember that the emblem on your bowls might be a problem. One bowler had a "69" as his logo and this seemed to help him bowl better than his opponent who had the “Harbour Bridge” on his bowls. This could make all the difference to how well you bowl. Perhaps binoculars could be a thought.

• Using the same bowls as those used by a world champion could be the motivation that you need to improve your game. Have a look at what’s being used by top players on the World Bowls' website.

• Not playing as high a division as you deserve? Remember, it’s not your fault. Consider changing clubs until you find one that recognises your true potential and puts you into First Division. Remember to tell the Selection Committee about your past achievements and just how good you really are at bowls.

• If changing clubs doesn’t work, get yourself onto the Selection Committee, arguing forcefully for your right to be at least two divisions higher – where you rightfully belong.

• Ignore the suggestions of coaches who suggest that you should change your delivery and stay down more and follow through. They don’t understand that the problem does not lie with you, rather it’s with the people judging you.

• If you are a Skipper ask the Selectors to change your team to ensure that players don’t place bowls in positions that may impede you reaching your full potential. You might have to change your team on many occasions before you can properly perform. Belittling the performance of your teammates during and after the game might help also.

• Insist that all players and spectators remain perfectly still while you bowl. This includes stray animals, planes flying overhead, the rope on the flag pole pinging against the pipe and the shadow from the flag pole. There is no end to the distractions that could be affecting your bowls performance.

• Finally, blame, blame, blame – whether it’s the grass, the wind, the shadows, clubhouse location or the other players. This will help explain why your performance has not reached the standards that you dreamed it would be. If you can’t find an adequate excuse, then go into denial and pretend that everything you did was fine. Oh, almost forgot, if all else fails become bitter and twisted and pull out. That will teach them.

Now don’t be so paranoid as to think we are referring to you in this

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