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Issue 7 | Winter 2012

Why Chaotic Markets Are Your New Year’s Gift 10 Ways To NOT Get Invited To My Next Sales Conference Remember, They’re Rejecting YOU: Simple Steps to Help You Become a Terrible Salesperson

How To Work A Room The Wholesaler’s Picture of Health

The Importance of Divisonals as Great Managers


1st Quarter | WINTER 2012 ISSUE SEVEN

Table of Contents Editor-in-Chief/Publisher Rob Shore


Art Director Lynn Lee

Contributing Writers Mary Allen Bob Burg Steven Gaffney Kathy Freeman Godfrey Hannah Shaw Grove Jeff Havens Rubesh Jacobs kasina John David Mann Michelle May, M.D. Kyle Maynard Ivy Naistadt Susan RoAne

By Mary Allen


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I CARRY THE BAG® is published quarterly

514 San Bernadino Avenue Newport Beach, CA 92663 tel 888-508-5010

I Carry The Bag is a registered trademark of shorespeak, L.L.C. All content in this publication ©2012 shorespeak, L.L.C. and is protected by international copyright law. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part without permission is prohibited. Library of Congress ISSN 2157-1155 (print) ISSN 2157-1155 (online)

A Two-Part Action Plan: Become a Stand Out Speaker In 2012

Currency of Trust





The Importance of Divisonals as Great Managers




By Rubesh Jacobs at kasina

Creating a Currency of Trust


By Bob Burg and John David Mann

The Power of Wrong: How a Simple Shift in Understanding Can Close More Business By Steven Gaffney

10 Ways to NOT Get Invited To My Next Sales Conference

By Anonymous Sales Manager

Some photos appear under Creative Commons Attribution License: How to Work a Room:


By Ivy Naistadt

For address changes, bulk subscriptions, media inquiries, general questions or comments call 888-508-5010 or email

Inside the Bag: Interview with Chris Grady Athene Annuity


To subscribe, visit:

How To Work A Room®: A Guide to Successful Socializing in Business By Susan RoAne


5 Simple Strategies to Make It Your Best Year Yet!


Mastering the Corner Office Assist By Hannah Shaw Grove

Remember, They’re Rejecting YOU: Simple Steps to Help You Become a Terrible Salesperson By Jeff Havens

The Wholesaler’s Picture of Health: It’s the Little Things That Matter Most By Michelle May, M.D.

Why Chaotic Markets Are Your New Year’s Gift: And How Being Born a Quadruple Amputee Became Mine By Kyle Maynard

Your Career 2012: Should I Stay or Should I Go? By Kathy Freeman Godfrey

Advisor Insider: Stats You Need to Know By kasina

letter from editor

Oh Tricky New Year Do you remember the Staples office supply chain’s ad campaign and the inception of the ‘That was easy’ tag line? At the centerpiece of the ads was the EASY button, which when pushed said, “That was easy.” Some years ago a sales manager in my organization gave me an EASY button (they still sell them at Staples), and for years it dutifully played upon command. I still have it, and while writing this I opened my desk drawer to push the button - and nothing happened. After years of playing on command, the button stopped working. It was so reliable for so long that I never bothered to turn it over and notice it actually had batteries that, like all batteries, needed to either be recharged or replaced. And so it is with the New Year. It will lure us into a false sense of EASY if we are not careful. According to the website, the list of most popular New Year’s resolutions include: Get a Better Job Get Fit Lose Weight Manage Debt Manage Stress Save Money Take a Trip Volunteer to Help Others The thing is, the simple fact that it’s a new year and we resolve to make a change or improvement in any of these areas is meaningless – unless we act. Any of these items, just like improving your wholesaling practice, take work, dedication, and commitment. On the surface many resolutions seem simple, yet none of them are EASY. For all of us at I Carry The Bag we wish you a fabulous, productive, profitable and healthy 2012.


By Mary Allen, CPCC, MCC

5 Simple Strategies to Make It Your Best Year Yet! Can you believe 2012 is here?! Every year we get exactly 365 days to realize our goals, and this year we even get a bonus day. As you reflect upon 2011, how did you do? Whether you’re disappointed or elated with your results, it’s time to wipe the slate clean…and begin again.

principle that whatever you appreciate and give thanks for will increase in your life.

To support your success, here are 5 simple strategies to make this your best year yet.

2. Set Goals. Harvard Business School researchers tell us what makes the difference in success or failure for people of similar backgrounds and educational standards. Studies reveal that 3% of people are successful, 30% are moderately successful and 67% just exist. The significant difference for the 3% who are successful is they have written down specific goals. The 30% who are moderately successful have a general idea of where they are going, but their goals aren’t formalized.

1. Take Inventory of 2011. Before you wipe the slate clean, let’s “complete” last year by acknowledging both your wins and disappointments. Use this powerful exercise to set up your new year for success. Write down your answers to these 5 questions. What are your disappointments, failures, and breakdowns? Acknowledge these. It creates an opportunity to let them go, carry them forward, or make a new promise. What are your successes, wins and accomplishments? How often we skip this step. Please don’t skimp on these. The little stuff counts. Look through your calendar to jog your memory. Acknowledge and celebrate the times you did well or met your goals. What have you learned about yourself and your life? What insights have you gained? Acknowledging these observations helps you integrate them more fully to leverage priceless learning in the years to come. What are you grateful for? This list might include some of the above and anything else you truly appreciate about yourself or any other area of your life. There is a basic


How will you celebrate your 2011 accomplishments? You’ve worked hard all year. Do something fun to reward yourself. Schedule it now.

The rest are happy to watch the world go by. What is interesting is people in the 30% category only need to put in a small amount of effort to jump into the next group. The secret behind the effort is “the development of habits and strategies which support the achievement of clear goals.” Set aside a day, or even a half day, and write down your top goals. Focus on what’s most important for you to achieve in 2012. 3. Get connected “emotionally” to your vision. If you only set goals intellectually, you may find yourself disassociated and not motivated to achieve them. The juice, inspiration and magic unfolds when you are “emotionally engaged” with your overall vision of success. If you’ve set goals

in the past with disappointing results, this may be the missing ingredient. Challenge yourself to clearly see, hear, FEEL and fully associate with your desired outcomes. If you want a thriving business, what activities would fill up your day? Who would you spend time with? How confident and decisive would you be? If you want a loving relationship, how would you FEEL if that partner was already in your life? How would you treat them? What activities would you enjoy together? If you want a fit and trim body, can you imagine yourself eating healthy foods and looking forward to visiting the gym? What would it feel like to be 15 pounds lighter? To connect more fully with your goals, describe your vision in more detail by writing it out in a paragraph. The secret here is finding the language to elicit the emotions in YOU. Alternatively, use the power of your mind through visualizations. Again, the more detail and emotion you can FEEL and bring to life in your body, the more effective it is in eliciting the inspiration, creativity and action necessary to fulfill your goal or dream. Spending even a few minutes each day to expand and FEEL your vision being realized is potent. 4. Revisit your written goals and/or spend time visualizing – CONSISTENTLY, ideally daily or weekly, but at least monthly. The more often you connect to your vision emotionally, engaging your senses, the more quickly you are likely to make it your reality. Even my busiest clients do this regularly because when they do, the results come! It’s well worth the tiny time investment. Make this a MUST! continue on page 9…

By Susan RoAne

How To Work A Room®: A Guide to Successful Socializing in Business Look for the Stand-Alone Person. The person who is speaking to no one would welcome your conversation. Just because someone is standing alone doesn’t mean he or she is a snob or “unimportant.” People who are alone may be shyer than you. Be Approachable. A smile and eye contact let people know you’re open to meeting them. Start with Small Talk. What you have in common makes for ideal icebreakers: the venue, the food, the event, the theme, the sponsor or host.

Walking into a room full of people, especially strangers, is daunting for 90% of adults according to research on shyness. Whether it’s a holiday party, a business networking event, a convention, a fundraiser or a reunion, most people are not comfortable, whether or not they self-identify as shy. Yet, our careers, businesses and social lives are enhanced by our ability to meet, mingle, schmooze, and build business relationships. To be confident and comfortable, all you need to do is spend a few minutes to prepare before you enter a room, event, or meeting.

Be sure to prepare:

1. A self-introduction. It’s NOT an elevator pitch. It’s 7-9 seconds and is a pleasantry that gives others your name and a context for your presence. 2. Your attitude. Shift from wondering who you will meet to thinking about who you will be fortunate enough to “get to” meet.

3. Conversation. Read the paper on or off-line and have 3-5 items of potential conversation to fall back on such as the latest movie blockbuster, sports championship, community project or restaurant opening, etc. Verbal exchanges start small and grow into the BIG talk that reflects our objectives for our business. 4. Cards. Carry business cards. Make sure they are standard size and that the font is big enough to read. It’s a viable way to exchange information.

Practical Tips to Practice

Read Name Tags. Wear yours on the right-hand side. It’s the line of sight with the hand you extend for a handshake. Reintroduce Yourself to People. If you haven’t seen people for a while, it helps to greet them with your name as you shake hands. They will generally respond in kind. Then no one has to struggle with forgotten names.

Attend Events with a “Buddy.” Choose someone in a non-competitive field, then cross-promote and introduce each other. • Warning: Be sure to choose a companion who will introduce you with the same level of enthusiasm that you have given them. • Lose the Glue: Most people avoid walking over to two people in conversation who appear to be “glued” together. To indicate that you are approachable face the room, not each other. Move to opposite sides of the room and mingle. Extricate and Circulate. According to manners experts, one must learn to end conversations. Extricating oneself gracefully from a conversation is a must. “Well, it was great to talk to you about…” and summarize the main thrust of your chat. Then, move about one quarter of the room away. No sense in standing in the same area near the person you just left. Circulate around the room. Find another solo or join a group. Stand on the periphery of the group and when acknowledged, step in. continue on page 9…


with Chris Grady Executive Vice President, Head of Retail Athene Annuity

ICTB: Chris, how long ago did you carry the bag, and who were you carrying the bag for?

of product will you be distributing?

our timing is great.

CG: We’ll deliver primarily a full suite of fixed annuities, from MYGAs to (in time) book value annuities, as well as SPIAs. That will eventually be our full suite.

ICTB: Tell me a little bit about characteristics that you’re looking for as you build a new distributor, and a culture, from scratch?

ICTB: How daunting are you finding it to start a distributor in the middle of a really choppy economic recovery - with exceedingly low interest rates?

CG: The first characteristic is adaptability. You have to be comfortable knowing that you’re not going to go into a single solo role to do every single day and then be done with it. In fact each employee, from admins all the way up to the senior management, is going to wear multiple hats.

CG: Actually I think our timing is great. We’ve got two main dynamics plus some smaller dynamics that are giving us a great opportunity. Number one, a great big dynamic is starting January 1st. You have about 10,000 Americans every day reaching age 65, so the needs for retirement planning (specific retirement income solutions) have never been greater in the United States.

Chris Grady: I carried the bag a couple of times. I started in financial services, and the insurance business, in 1979 carrying the bag as a MassMutual career agent. Then from 1995 through 1997, I was a wholesaler with Merrill Lynch, wholesaling their annuity products as well as certain life insurance products.

Number two, suppliers to manufacturers have limited the amount of capital that they want to put into this solution. There are a bunch of carriers that either limited or reduced the sales that they’re going to put into annuities. And some have even eliminated sales in the annuities space.

ICTB: You’re currently building a distributor from the ground up. What type

Given that there’s less capital for the solution and the need is growing, we think


ICTB: So, prima donnas need not apply. CG: Exactly. In this job, we are going to expect everybody to do multiple things. So they’re going to be doing wholesaling. They’re going to be doing key account management. They’re going to be involved in projects -- maybe product development projects or technology projects. And the great news is we’re going to be able to develop the best of the best, because we don’t have legacy issues that we have to deal with. We’re going to build everything from scratch. ICTB: What else are you looking for?

CG: I call it the 10 core characteristics of greatness that we’re looking for right now. Some of the characteristics I look for are integrity, work ethic, passion, courage and, of course, our new characteristic is adaptability. These 10 core characteristics of greatness are going to allow us to compete in the marketplace for the right talent and with the right company with the right opportunities. ICTB: How difficult do you think it will be to secure new selling agreements? CG: Not hard because the dynamic today is that many product manufacturers want fewer selling agreements because they don’t have the capital that they normally would have in a normal business environment. They’ve also reduced their wholesaling forces, and less coverage means they’re going to sell less product. So they don’t expand selling agreements. They reduce their footprint; they reduce their wholesaling capabilities; all different ways of managing their growth, or their new business goals. As a startup we don’t have those limitations. ICTB: When you’re up and running, how many wholesalers do you intend to have? CG: We have a five-year plan and we expect to have, at the end of five years, upwards of 30 or 40 in multiple channels. Initially we’re going to have a dozen or so. ICTB: What do you think is the biggest challenge wholesalers are facing today? CG: The number one issue is the fact that financial advisors are doing everything that they can to keep their clients with them. They’re not really as proactive in driving business as they are trying to

retain what they have already on the books. So they’re in a defensive mode, like many. The question is how do you, the wholesaler, come in with an idea to sell to the FA who needs to turn around and present the idea to a consumer? How does that FA go in to tell the consumer to buy something else after the last 10 things didn’t work? It’s difficult for FAs when a client is down 25, 35, or 50 percent in their accounts – and, in turn, it makes the wholesaler’s job that much harder. ICTB: Who has been your most influential mentor or mentors? CG: Eugene Weiss, who brought me into the business, was an amazing mentor. This guy never graduated from high school; went into WW2; tough Long Island guy; great guy, worked his tail off. He taught me more about sales and hard work and the value of doing the basics, the fundamentals of the business world. He taught me a million things and I was like a sponge. I listened to everything, and it was great. ICTB: What’s your philosophy when it comes to managing wholesalers? CG: I want to empower them. I want people that are driven. That’s another core characteristic. We want people that have the drive to be number one, and then let them go. Guide them, don’t overmanage them, and give them tools to be great and let them be great. The key is, if I’ve hired the right people, they are tougher on themselves than I could ever be. To understand the type of person you’re hiring, and then managing -- or using your skills as a manager to best let that person develop.

My father is 85 years old and he’s a great guy. He was a football and baseball coach when I was growing up. He talked about key things that you’ve got to do to be successful on a sports field, and a lot of those key things carry over to the business world. In the sports world, very often you’ll hear the phrase, “I’m going to draft the best athlete, and then do some coaching and training and develop the person in the position that I need him for.” That’s the way we think about wholesaling, too. We’d rather get a person with 10 core characteristics of greatness and then I can teach them about the product. If you get hung up on, “Oh, I want to get a guy with product experience,” then you’re missing things like work ethic or passion.

ICTB: As you look out 10 years or so, how do you think the wholesaling landscape will change? CG: As long as the business continues to be a people business (and consumers continue to require suitable solutions, with delivery of those solutions through financial advisors) I think there’s going to be a big need for educating the advisors who are dealing with consumers. Therefore, there will always be a need for wholesaling and an efficient, smart delivery system. Because financial advisors can’t know everything, wholesalers are the ones who are going to help them differentiate and help them disseminate what’s available in the marketplace.

Some of that relates back to mentors.


A Two-Part Action Plan:

Become A Stand Out Speaker In In wholesaling your credibility can hinge on one 20 minute presentation. Your moment in the spotlight can literally make or break you because, unfortunately, people remember the bad ones for a long time! So what actions can you take to guarantee you are going to become a Stand Out presenter in 2012? Know Thyself I encourage you to conduct a Public Speaking Self-Assessment and make a commitment to get the support you need to become a superstar in your industry. As someone who is out there delivering presentations daily, I believe it’s crucial to take a hard look at what’s working for you and determine what needs to be strengthened. Here are a few ways you can get started: Watch Yourself on Video: It’s important to assess your physical speaking skills, whether you are first starting out or a seasoned wholesaler, in order to stay at the top of your game. Focus on each of these Four Physical Skills - balance and movement, eye contact, hand placement and gestures, and vocal power. Start by assessing the positive in each area. Find a couple of things you do that make you come across naturally and authentically. This creates a benchmark against which to determine what is unnatural or distracting. Don’t be too hard on yourself! The objective here is to gain


an accurate assessment of what’s going on to put together a successful plan for change. Another area to consider is your Content. Ask yourself: • Does your material have a solid structure and do you engage your listeners with a captivating Opening? • Do you have that nagging feeling that you are drowning listeners in too much data and losing them? • Most importantly, do you know your material inside and out? Lastly, you’ll want to assess all of the Technical Aspects of your presentation. You could have the greatest message in the world, but if you are looking at a screen reading your PowerPoint slides with a microphone that screeches or pops, you’ve just undermined your credibility! Another way you can get valuable feedback is to ask a few colleagues to attend (not all at once!). Give them specific criteria by which they can critique you. Or even ask clients who already know and respect you for their candid ideas for improvement. Invest in Yourself Once you’ve taken stock, make a commitment for your improvement. You can work with someone in your company who is a powerful presenter, attend a seminar, or seriously consider hiring a professional speaking coach. How many top performing athletes,

dancers or actors do you think get to the top of their game without coaches along the way? The answer is none. Yet I witness countless numbers of people who have to make strategic presentations as part of their professional job responsibilities, either to educate their audiences about their product or services or sell themselves, who do not take this aspect of their careers seriously. What you’re looking for is an expert speaking coach with professional credentials and a track record who will offer you encouragement, support, and an objective perspective on what you can do to strengthen your speaking skills. As the president of a company I recently coached to speak to 1000 people in Vegas said, “Hold me accountable!” I can speak from experience when I say that over the years I have enlisted the services of a few coaches. One coach stands out because he not only helped catapult me to my next professional level and shared strategies that I still employ today, but he inspired and ignited a passion about my profession that still carries me through some of the ups and downs we all suffer. When I met Bill Gove, he was 87 years old. The first President of the National Speakers Association, Bill could stand on a stage and hold an audience of 2000 people in his thrall. At 87 years old he had the stamina of a much younger man, and as I sat in his presence I had to pinch myself because I knew I was being coached by a Master. Boy was I lucky. Unfortunately, Bill passed away a few years later, but part of his

By Ivy Naistadt 5 Simple Strategies to Make It Your Best Year Yet! continued from page 4… 5. Avoid the 5 biggest mistakes people make in setting up their New Year for success to separate yourself from 97% of the population. • They don’t focus on setting goals because they are too busy. Carve out the time you need to clarify your goals.

2012 legacy is that every single speaker who had the privilege of working with him carries pieces of his knowledge onto their stages with them. That’s what you’re looking for in a coach. A qualified, experienced person who you trust to put together the right plan and get you excited about your improvement and new possibilities. However you choose to go about it, I encourage you to make a commitment to your success in 2012!

Ivy Naistadt is known worldwide as an expert in helping clients reach their professional communication potential. The author of the highly acclaimed book, Speak Without Fear (Harper Collins), as well as a nationally recognized speech coach and speaker, Ivy has helped business professionals and others deliver successful public presentations for over 20 years. Her diverse client list includes such leading organizations as IBM, Pitney Bowes, The New York Times, Merrill Lynch and Princeton University. She is frequently interviewed on radio and television, and she has been featured in numerous publications including The New York Times, USA Today and The Daily News. To learn more, visit or email: Ivy@ . ©2011 by Ivy Naistadt. All rights reserved.

• They only create a list of goals and never connect emotionally to them. • They don’t have support. Instead, find an accountability buddy, get a coach, create or join a mastermind group. • They don’t revisit their goal or vision. Create a weekly or monthly structure, and then stick to it. • They don’t truly commit heart and soul to their most important goals. If you really want it, commit with all you’ve got. While these 5 strategies are simple, they have the power to help you create your best year ever. Looking forward to celebrating with you and the 3% this time next year. Mary Allen, CPCC, MCC is one of the most well-known life coaches worldwide, helping clients enjoy greater success with inner peace in all areas of life. For over 12 years, her clientele have included busy professionals and even a couple of billionaires. She is author of the acclaimed book The Power of Inner Choice: 12 Weeks to Living a Life YOU Love and leads The Inner Peace Immersion Retreat annually. Receive 26 Inner Peace Tips & 2 Free Chapters from her book at www. .

How To Work A Room®: A Guide to Successful Socializing in Business continued from page 5… Allow for Serendipity. This is the unexpected bonus that happens to you because of good timing. Because you are in that room, at that event, or in that venue, opportunities will appear…my theory of marketing, meeting and mingling is: “You Never Know!” Attend every event with an open mind. BONUS Tip: To make the best impression, you need to leave your tools and toys of technology out of sight and/or in the “off” position. The message you give when you “work” a room with your Bluetooth attached to your ear or when you are constantly checking your smartphone is: “No one I’m talking

to is as important as whoever may be trying to contact me.” That leaves an impression, but not the one you may want to make.

For more information read the revised bestseller, How To Work A Room®, by author and keynote speaker, Susan RoAne, now available for Kindle or your iPad. For more information, free articles, and the opportunity to view Susan’s videos and interviews, visit www. ©2011 Susan RoAne aka The Mingling Maven®


By Rubesh Jacobs at kasina

IMPORTANCE OF DIVISIONALS AS GREAT MANAGERS Divisional managers often were star wholesalers, but can they be star managers as well? Divisional managers are frequently recruited from the ranks of wholesalers, and more likely than not, they are top wholesalers. However, the skills of topnotch salespeople do not necessarily translate into those required for management. The National Sales Manager at a mid-size asset management firm described a lesson learned, “We took the very best sales person we had and made him a manager. He wasn’t good at it and didn’t have an individualized approach to management. He does institutional sales now.” While this is a commonly recognized issue among National Sales Managers, there are two root causes that need to be addressed, both involving Divisionals.

1. Divisionals still spend a significant amount of time in the field selling. It is not uncommon for wholesalers to bring in their Divisional to close a big sale. Is this really the best use of the Divisional’s time? To emphasize this point, the graph below shows that divisional managers spend more time meeting with head office or branch personnel and key advisors than they do coaching wholesalers. While the meetings with advisors and branch personnel present opportunities for observing wholesalers in action and opening doors for wholesalers, divisional managers need to play a strategic planning role in driving profitability. They need to manage wholesalers, not client relationships. As one sales executive said, “They need to help wholesalers understand capital markets and trends in business. They need to


make sure wholesalers are not selling the product that’s hot today, but looking to the future and building business over 18 months and more.” Divisional managers should drive organizational focus on consultative selling skills, strategic territory management, and business planning to enhance regional profitability. 2. Divisionals continue to be compensated for accomplishing sales goals. As the graph on the next page shows, most of the attributes that determine a Divisional’s variable compensation are related to sales. However, a Divisional also needs to coach, develop, and motivate his team. They are also expected to be excellent business managers. That is, be proficient in budgeting, planning, and driving profitable growth. The graph shows, only 46.2% of firms consider Leadership Quality as a determinant of variable compensation and only 38.5% of firms consider Coaching Quality. Profitability assessment is used as an attribute to determine variable compensation by even fewer firms: 15.4%. Manager Discretion, which is used to determine variable compensation at 84.6% of firms, remains too great a portion of variable compensation. It is critical that compensation is aligned with firm’s objectives, and Divisionals should have predefined performance metrics to measure their performance as good managers and leaders in addition to the sales results that their territory generates.

Source: kasina, Excellence in Distribution: External Wholesaling, 2011


To this end, we believe that firms must take measures to address a known issue-namely that Divisionals must be better managers.


Source: kasina, Optimizing Compensation to Drive Profitability, 2011

National Sales Managers must take accountability for recruiting and growing top Divisionals. In recruiting Divisionals, National Sales Managers should look beyond star wholesalers and focus on competencies and capabilities that make good managers. To build a suitable applicant pool, managers should collaborate with Human Resources to identify candidates that demonstrate leadership in the field, territory management that drives sales, sales reporting skills, and experience with managing teams. Managers must use behavior-based interviewing to really uncover the true potential of the candidates. It is then incumbent upon National Sales Managers to set the right expectations

by using objective and measurable goals. The compensation plan is a great carrot to encourage performance and behaviors, but they must also spend time providing coaching and feedback to Divisionals. Periodic meetings should not just focus on reviewing sales goals; they should also address issues and opportunities with the team, territory management, strategic planning for the future, and discussing progress on personal goals. Managers should periodically inquire about and dive into the details about how recruiting is going: Who is being recruited and why? Where has the Divisional spent his time and why? What personal growth steps has he taken? Last but not least, Divisionals need professional training and support to learn

how to recruit, manage and coach if their work experience does not reflect these critical skills. National Sales Managers must provide Divisionals with these opportunities. Most firms have ample general management curricula available in-house or from third-party relationships that can be leveraged. All that said, Divisionals must take accountability for working with their bosses to structure their role, expectations and priorities correctly. This exercise is not driven just top-down, but must be a collaboration between the NSM and the Divisionals.

continue on page 13‌


Creating a Currency


By Bob Burg and John David Mann Happy new era! No, that’s not a misspelling, for not only are we embarking on a new year, but we are also all doing our best to find our way in an entirely new era, especially those of us who are in any way involved in financial services. And perhaps the two words that most accurately sum up the heart of the matter are leadership and trust. It’s no secret that we are, across the board, experiencing a crisis in leadership; under the surface that is also a crisis in trust—a term so central to the nature of finance that the word itself shows up in the very names of our financial and legal institutions. However, the storms of the past few years have shaken the public trust. People are looking for new leadership, based on new trust, and while that is not easily won, it is winnable. If we want to effectively serve our clients and customers in the years ahead, it would serve us well to take a close look at the nature of influence. “The less you say, the more influence you’ll have. Do you know why that is?” asks Aunt Elle, the mildly eccentric octogenarian in our book It’s Not About You. No, admits Ben, a struggling young executive, he does not.


“Because,” she says, “the more you yield, the more power you have.” Ben hasn’t a clue what she’s talking about. It’s easy to sympathize with him, too. After all, on the face of it this makes no sense at all. Doesn’t yielding mean giving up, giving in, saying “You win” without even a fight? Not quite. In fact, yielding is one of the greatest secrets to great accomplishment and creating a currency of trust. When Conquering Means Losing You’ve probably heard those talks, the ones where the speaker gets everyone all worked up to a fever pitch with an emotional story, and then rallies them like drunken sports fans around the corporate mission. It’s a bit like a political stump speech, the idea being that the people in the audience will be inspired to greater and more productive action. You’ve been in that audience. You’ve heard that speech. Heck, maybe you’ve given that speech. (We know we have.) How much trust did it engender? And how long did its effects last? There’s got to be a better way, and there is.

If you want to influence people, what is it you’re actually trying to create? In other words, what is influence? What is it made of? Or let’s ask it this way: what is the difference between convincing others to do something, and influencing them to do so? Convince means “to overcome by argument.” It comes from the Latin word for “conquer.” Dale Carnegie famously said, “A man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still.” And is there really any other way to be convinced—conquered, overcome by argument—than against your will? The Substance of Influence The word “influence” means “an unseen flow of power.” It was first used in the Middle Ages as an astrological term, from an old French word meaning “a streaming ethereal power from the stars acting upon our character or destiny.” By the fifteenth century, the word was being used to mean “an exercise of personal power by human beings.” You could say that it describes how we exert gravitational force on each other. Like stars and planets. Influence is a flow, like air flow or the flow of a river. (Flow, flue, influence — they all

come from the same root word.) So what creates that flow? When water pours downstream, is there some force pushing it from above? No, it flows downstream because of the pull of gravity. Imagine you have an ordinary window fan blowing air into your room. How far can it blow? Not very far at all. But reverse the fan’s position so it’s now blowing outward—and you can pull a column of air from a single open window clear on the other side of the house, even from hundreds of yards away. Or think of it this way: How far can you push a rope? That rah-rah speech given to rally the troops around the flag is like blowing a column of air into a room. Yes, you’ll stir the air and create some movement—but for how far and how long? The currency that movement creates is one of coercion rather than one of trust. Instead, turn the window fan around. That’s what people of genuine influence do. They don’t seek to convince. They listen more than they talk. Rather than exhorting others to do those actions the organization most needs to move ahead, they personally do those actions themselves and exhort by example. They don’t push the troops toward a goal— they magnetically, gravitationally draw them toward that goal. That’s what influence is made of. That’s what stars do—they pull. That’s why we don’t talk about how much push we might have with someone, but rather, how much pull.

mean going with their price—it simply means letting them make the first offer. In a marital spat, yielding means giving the other person room to have their point heard—and giving some time and space for overwrought feelings to calm themselves. Conscious yielding is the secret of jiu-jitsu and aikido: instead of trying to overpower the opponent with frontal force, step back and let their move have full expression. Yield, and you will create a currency of trust. Abraham Lincoln was once told by a reporter that another government official had sharply criticized him. What did the president have to say about that? “I have great respect for the man,” replied Lincoln, “and if he has concerns about me, there must be some truth to it.” The criticism was intended to draw Lincoln into a skirmish that would have distracted him from other business. Instead, his comment not only deflected the critique but also won the hearts of both friends and foes—and it allowed the president to keep his focus on the more important issues at hand. Lincoln’s maneuver was what a boxer would call a parry. Watch a boxing match and you’ll notice that when one fighter throws a jab—a straight punch, usually with the left hand—the target will wait until the punch almost hits him and then deflect it away with the slightest flick of the right wrist. And here’s the amazing thing: the harder the punch, the less effort it takes to parry it. This is exactly what Lincoln did. Instead of pushing back, he pulled. He yielded. And in yielding, he won.

Pull is the substance of influence. Not push. When Yielding Means Winning Now we are back to the idea of yielding. To yield does mean to give, but not to give in, and certainly not to give up. It simply means, give the other guy room to go first. Like the traffic sign. In negotiating prices, yielding doesn’t

Bob Burg and John David Mann are coauthors of The Go-Giver and the new release It’s Not About You. For sample chapters visit

Importance of Divisionals As Great Managers continued from page 11… Divisionals must focus on growing their teams and holding them accountable for reaching sales goals. Although commonly known in the industry, Divisionals view their role more in terms of sales goals rather than as managers, coaches, and educators. This mind-set must change. Divisionals must spend most of their time providing coaching and feedback, recruiting and training their team, and planning for the future. Firms must take a more long-term view on the role of the Divisional. Like professionals in any other functional area, wholesalers also want to move up the corporate ladder. With this in mind, firms must examine the career paths of National Sales Managers, Heads of National Accounts, and Heads of Distribution to uncover the skills and accomplishments that got them where they are. They must then use this information to build plans and programs that will help recruit, grow, and retain top sales talent who have the potential to become top senior managers. Much is written about the attributes of great wholesalers. Great wholesalers may be promoted to management positions, but they rarely excel. That’s in part because their selling skills, rather than their management skills, are being rewarded and reinforced through compensation. Divisionals need to up their game in order to successfully face the pressures of the industry, and they must have support from their managers and their firms in order to do so. To learn more about kasina visit or call 212-349-7412


By Steven Gaffney

the power of wrong: How a simple


CAN CLOSE A BUSINESS If only I had known. It’s a terrible thought most of us have had at one point—usually when we have discovered a big problem that started out small. The good news is most problems really do start out small. The better news is that a simple shift in understanding will empower you and those in your organization to improve communication and mend these small, lurking problems before they disrupt your business. That shift in understanding can ultimately net great bottom-line results. I was on my way to a speaking engagement recently and carried on the usual brief introductory conversation with the person seated next to me on the plane. Since I had an extra copy of my book Just Be Honest (which includes how to handle “If only I had known” situations), I gave it to my seatmate before taking a nap. When I awoke, he told me he wished he had read the book sooner as he was preparing to announce some major layoffs at his company. When I asked how this related to my book, he explained how they had just lost a major re-compete with a longstanding client to a competitor. The competitor’s proposal had what the client really wanted, while his company had what they thought the long-time client was looking for based on their prior working relationship. The result? A lost contract, lost jobs, and a major loss in revenue. This story illustrates a powerful truth we can harness to positively impact our personal and professional lives. Consider for a moment how often people operate and make decisions as if their opinions are facts. The trouble is, according to our research based on more than 15 years of conducting seminars, we can often be between 50 and 80 percent wrong on a daily basis. That may be


hard to believe, but the mind tends to remember the times we are correct and forget the times we are not. That means we may be wrong more often than we are right. Think about it. Have you seen missed opportunities because someone believes they know what their customer wants, rather than finding out what the customer actually wants? Or have you ever seen project execution go awry because goals were based on assumptions rather than facts and data points? This is a simple problem to understand, but not so simple to fix—and it’s easy to blame other people as well. For example, do you think of yourself as open-minded? How about those around you? Here is a test to gauge your openmindedness: How long can you listen to a talk show host who represents views with which you disagree

before you change the station? Or when was the last time you had a discussion with someone with whom you disagreed and came away from the conversation converted to their viewpoint? Being open-minded is much more challenging than we often like to admit. A key strategy in solving this problem is to understand the difference between what can be “noticed” (the facts of a situation) and what we “imagine” (our opinions, thoughts, evaluations, conclusions). This may sound simple—and it is—but think how often people operate and make decisions as if their opinions are fact, or as if what they “imagine” is correct instead of discovering the truth. Once we develop a conclusion, we start to look for evidence to support it, and we will often overlook facts inconsistent with our opinions and conclusions in the process. The misdiagnosis becomes even more exacerbated when the people with whom we interact have different agendas, goals, needs, and backgrounds. When we fully understand the breadth and scope of the distinction between Notice and Imagine, it can produce major breakthroughs, especially in conjunction with research showing we are often wrong in what we imagine. Check out the logic. When we understand we may be wrong, we ask more questions. The more we ask questions, the more likely we are to find out the real underlying facts. The more facts we find out, the better the quality of our decisions; the better the quality of our decisions, the better the quality of our business and even our personal lives. The man I met on the plane highlighted this point. He read about this concept of Notice vs. Imagine in my book, and he immediately recognized what had happened with his former client. As he went on to tell me, if he had known about this he would have been able to save jobs and revenue—and avoid a lot of stress, too. Notice vs. Imagine gives us an excellent reason to check in with others and ask questions. It reminds us to go and ask for feedback and information, rather than passively waiting for others to provide it.

I heard from a manager at a large corporation; he had been told to fire an employee who was performing poorly.

He decided to ask the person what was going on. It turned out this person’s son had just undergone open-heart surgery. The employee had never said anything to his boss because he preferred not to discuss his personal life. Clearly, the facts surrounding this employee’s situation did not resemble what the boss had imagined. It is critical to remember that even though employees may not ask for help, you can always talk to them. This concept has important implications for our personal lives and can be easily applied there as well. The following story is from one of my seminar participants: “A while back, my husband and I ordered pizza. After 45 minutes we called to find out when we could expect delivery. We called again after an hour and finally after an hour and fifteen minutes, we called and cancelled our order. As we were walking out the door to go grab a bite, our pizza delivery lady showed up with our pizza. My husband and I told her that we had cancelled our order and now no longer wanted the pizza. She apologized for being late and told us we could have the pizza for free. We told her, ‘No, thanks. We decided to go out to eat.’ All of a sudden she started to cry. ‘My father died last week and today is the first time I’ve really felt that he’s gone,’ she said. She couldn’t stop crying while she told us how she kept getting lost in our neighborhood all night even though she delivers pizza there all the time. She said the people in the last home she delivered to yelled at her for being late and she felt terrible about that, too. I threw my arms around her and hugged her tightly. My husband stepped up and did the same. We paid for the pizza and invited her in to have dinner with us. A couple of weeks later, there was a knock on the door, and there stood Vicky the pizza lady. She told us she wanted to buy us a gift but there was no gift that could ever express the appreciation she felt for our kindness that night. Instead, now when she drives by our home she sends good wishes our way, she said. One night my husband and I were driving home and we happened to be behind Vicky. I’m sure she didn’t know we were there. We live on a corner and when we turned onto our street we watched her drive by and wave toward our home, throwing good wishes our way. Vicky gave us an immeasurable gift…she gave us an unforgettable life lesson.” It is easy to make assumptions and draw faulty conclusions based on a lack of information. Maybe someone who is not returning our calls is not trying to be disrespectful; maybe they just didn’t receive the messages because they were out of town and did not change their voice mail accordingly. Maybe they did receive our messages but are embarrassed to call and let us know they are behind schedule. Or maybe they did not do what they said they would do, and by not calling they are avoiding the anticipated conflict. continue on page 19…


Editor’s note: We were provided with this piece by a sales manager at a broker dealer who, for compliance reasons, wished to remain anonymous.

10 Ways To Not Get Invited To My Next Sales Conference I’ve enjoyed great partnerships with wholesalers over the years, and most of the meetings I’ve planned have involved wholesalers. Whether it’s sales coaching or a new product roll-out, wholesalers usually add an important dynamic to meetings. I normally welcome this group of business partners to participate. But not always. There are a few issues that have landed some product partners in the “I’ll skip that wholesaler next time” category. 1. Blow a previous presentation or call. One wholesaler actually asked me on a conference call with about 40 participants what he was supposed to talk about when I turned the call over to him. I guess he forgot about our conversation the previous day when he pitched me on a new annuity rider he wanted to present. 2. Bait and switch. The wholesaler told me she was going to go over some tax law changes but not product. Her presentation was solely about her product, even after I introduced her and the tax topic she was going to cover. 3. Talk trash about other investment companies. It is not an uncommon occurrence to have more than one wholesaler participate in the day’s events. However, don’t put down the other guy’s product while he is waiting in the wings to present next, especially since he is the one who bought lunch for the fifty people attending the meeting. 4. Technology fouls. If you need an internet connection, a projector, a


sound system and someone to run it for you, then don’t be surprised if you run into a tech foul. Many of my meetings have gone off schedule because some piece of technology isn’t working. I’m not saying don’t use it, but if you do, make sure it works. 5. The automated presentation. This seems to be gaining popularity. The wholesaler shows up, pops in a DVD for the group to watch, and that‘s it. Do I really need a wholesaler for that? 6. Inappropriate references. I had a wholesaler try to explain how we sometimes strive for things we can’t have. He stood behind one of my top producers (someone he didn’t know and who’s got some hair loss) and commented that “some of us wish for more hair.” I thought the point was to make the reps like you and want to sell your product. 7. Bad language. OK, you’re comfortable with our group and you know us. You still can’t use curse words in front of a large audience. 8. Entourage. This is when I invite you to a meeting and then you show up with your boss, his boss and an obscure subaccount manager. Worse still, they want to say a few words as well – is that OK? Not really.

9. Just in time delivery. If you arrived one minute before your presentation at my last meeting, you’re probably on my “skip” list. I don’t want to stress out at my meeting waiting for you to show up. 10. Does it ever end? Stick to your time slot. I recall one meeting when a wholesaler was well over his time and I was motioning from the back of the room by pointing at my watch. Then I upped it to a neck slash gesture. That’s when he said, “I can see I’m running out of time…” Yes, I thought, 15 minutes ago. At least he shared all of his ideas, as this was his one and only appearance at one of my meetings.

By Hannah Shaw Grove

Mastering the Corner Office Assist When you’re trying to get the attention of a seasoned advisor, it pays to put yourself in their shoes. Too many wholesalers are also-rans, taking the path of least resistance when it comes to office visits. Anyone can buy lunch, do a canned presentation or drop off fund brochures. Instead, take the time to understand the advisor’s goals and what’s stopping him or her from reaching them. Once you know that, it’s easy to figure out how and where you can offer assistance in the most effective way. Broadly speaking, most advisors want to have longer, stronger and more mutually rewarding relationships with increasingly wealthy clients. Most advisors think their problem is the finite number of qualified high-net-worth prospects. Not so. In my experience, most advisors are held back by the following three things: an unwillingness to invest time and effort in people before they are clients; an over-reliance on outdated and unproductive prospecting methods; and concentrating almost exclusively on a narrow product area. My research background has given me some extraordinary insights into the relatively small and elusive intersection where the things that affluent clients value coincide with the actions of leading advice practitioners. Let’s take a closer look at each situation along with the perspectives of high-net-worth clients and the approach

of leading advisors to understand how these obstacles can be surmounted moving forward. 1. An unwillingness to invest time and effort in people before they are clients • The situation: Like most people, advisors are concerned about spending time, effort and even money when the ROI is uncertain. Often this translates into dropping a wealthy and potentially valuable prospect in favor of an opportunity with more immediate payback. • HNW perspective: Wealthy clients repeatedly tell me they like working with professionals that provide them with options and solutions that help them address the current issues they’re facing. For example, you can be the greatest doctor in the hospital but if all you’re offering is insulin injections when the patient needs a defibrillator, it doesn’t really matter how great you are. The same is true when it comes to financial services; a life insurance policy will do more for estate planning and taxefficient wealth transfer than a separate account. • Best practice: It’s impossible to be consultative, or even solutions-oriented, without spending a little time up front to familiarize yourself with the situation.

The best advisors learn as much as they can about each prospect so they know what concerns to address and the potential of the individual’s referral network. That allows them to assess how they can best assist and interface with each person and how they themselves can benefit from the overall relationship in the long-run. 2. An over-reliance on outdated and unproductive prospecting methods • The situation: Three-quarters of advisors rank client referrals as the best way to get new high-net-worth business. However, when asked to think about how they got their best new clients in the previous two years, advisors claim that about 90% came through other professionals such as tax attorneys, insurance agents and business managers, while only 10% came from client referrals. • HNW perspective: The wealthier a person is, the less likely he or she will be to turn to someone in their peer group or social circle for financial or lifestyle input. They simply don’t want to share even the vaguest details. Instead, they turn to professionals with whom they have relationships, choosing those who have proven discretion and have earned their respect and trust. continue on page 19…


By Jeff Havens

REMEMBER,THEY’RE REJECTING YOU: Simple Steps to Help You Become a Terrible Salesperson If you’re like most people, you’re reading this magazine with the hope of finding a few ideas that will make you better at your job. But has it ever occurred to you that maybe you shouldn’t try to get any better? There are other jobs, you know. You could be a florist, or a watermelon farmer, or a delivery driver. I was a delivery driver back in college, and it wasn’t a bad gig. In order to help you transition into the glorious new world of guitar tech or bail bondsman or whatever you end up doing, we first need to transition you out of wholesaling. And the best way to do that is to help you develop a healthy fear of rejection. The more terrified you are about calling a potential customer, the less you’ll do it – and the less you do it, the sooner you’ll be able to organize fundraisers or review restaurants or whatever floats your boat. Ooh, you could be a boat repair person – then your boat would float forever! Anyway, to more effectively fear rejection, there’s one key piece of information you need to absorb: If every one of your calls doesn’t turn into a sale, you are a crappy salesperson. Write that sentence down. Better yet, tattoo it backwards on your face so you’ll see it every time you look into a mirror. You need to expect a 100% conversion rate, because you should know that a 100% conversion rate is categorically impossible. In fact, the conversion rate for most industries is comfortably under 5%. For example, I have a friend who works as a wealth management analyst for Citigroup. He told me that when he


started, he made 400-500 calls a week and that his conversion rate was 2%. In his words, ”For every 100 calls I made, 10 of them wouldn’t immediately hang up on me. Of those 10, five would listen to me talk, three would agree to meet with me, and two would sign.” He is still with Citigroup and now manages 54 other wealth managers, although it could be as many as 57; I don’t really know because I haven’t talked to him in a couple months. The point is, his diamond-hard belief in the promise of his 2% conversion rate has helped him become an extremely successful salesperson. He owns a home with annual property taxes that cost more than my car. And I know you don’t want that. Affluence is overrated – and seriously, who wants the responsibility of authority? Not me. I’d much rather scrape together a meager living and live in constant fear of potential rejection. My fear of rejection might also explain why I’ve never been on a date in my life and also why I’ve never smiled at anybody in case they didn’t smile back, but that’s a subject for a whole different article. Now I’m sure you know that overcoming the fear of rejection takes practice and determination. Developing the habit of paralyzed inactivity that will ultimately ensure the death of your wholesaling career isn’t going to happen overnight either. Fortunately for you, I know what you need to do.

Try once, then give up! Research has shown that it typically takes five to seven ‘touches’ before a potential customer will consider buying whatever it is you have to sell. Successful salespeople know this and consequently don’t stop after a single phone call or e-mail. You, however, should. That way, when your career goes up in smoke, at least you can say you tried. Better yet, don’t try at all! Trying is hard, and spending the afternoon playing golf sounds way more fun. Remember, you can’t get rejected if you never make an effort. I said earlier that I’ve never been on a date, but I’ve also never been turned down by anyone. Think about that. I often do when I’m sitting home alone on a Saturday night. Always remember – they’re rejecting YOU! It’s critically important for you to understand this. If you call a potential customer and fail to make a sale, it’s not because they’re on a budget freeze. It’s not because you caught them at the continue on page 21…

Mastering the Corner Office Assist continued from page 15… • Best practice: Leading advisors think critically about their businesses and have already zeroed in on how to use their time and resources most effectively. Nearly all their outreach efforts are focused on cultivating relationships with centers-of-influence and other referral sources that have existing customer bases of wealthy individuals. 3. Concentrating almost exclusively on a narrow product area • The situation: I’d venture to say that twothirds of all advisors derive 85% or more of their income from asset management products and services. While this may be great for a wholesaler’s business, it is not so great for their clients or the future of the advisor-client relationship. • HNW perspective: The vast majority of affluent clients are turned off by thinlyveiled product pitches. At the same time, they list their greatest financial priorities

as tax mitigation, estate planning, asset protection, business succession and philanthropy very few of which can be accomplished successfully with only investment products. • Best practice: Nearly all financial advisors have access to a full range of wealth management capabilities. However, very few are conversant in the underlying disciplines, and even fewer utilize them on behalf of their clients. Leading advisors know how and when it’s time to introduce new capabilities to their best clients. They have built a network of specialists, usually including insurance brokers, legal and tax counsel, trust and lending officers among others, who can help them get the job done.

based on value and assistance will be more lasting than one built on product sales and commissions, and building this relationship will be a sure way to position yourself as an essential business partner.

Hannah Shaw Grove is a well-known expert on the mindset and behaviors of the high-networth markets and the author of ten books and numerous reports on related topics. More information can be found at www.hsgrove. com or

By helping your advisory clients become more attuned to these situations and their possible solutions, you can help them fulfill their fiduciary responsibilities in a smarter and more efficient way. A relationship

The Power of Wrong: How a Simple Shift in Understanding Can Close a Business continued from page 15… Maybe when someone snaps at us, it has nothing to do with us. Maybe instead they are having some personal problems at home (e.g. an elderly parent who is sick or a child who is not doing well in school). Maybe they are under stress or feeling extreme pressure over work issues. As a result they may take it out on us, but it really has nothing to do with us. I am not making a judgment about the behavior being right or wrong; I am simply saying things are not always as they appear. Understanding the difference between noticing and imagining enables us to be open-minded and get the information we need. Just imagine a workplace and home life where everyone understands they might be wrong—or is at least in need of more information. If that were the case, people

would be more likely to check in before making decisions or drawing conclusions. In the absence of being certain they knew everything, people would be more likely to give others the benefit of the doubt. The outcome would be more open lines of communication, reduced defensiveness, more appropriate expectations, greater collaboration and teamwork, improved sales, and better-executed programs—all of which would make organizations more efficient and more profitable, and all of which I have consistently seen when organizations embrace and execute this understanding. One way to make an immediate impact is to pass this article along to important people in your life. Talk about it and discuss what you and others can do. If you need help, call me.

Steven Gaffney is a leading expert on honest, interpersonal communication, influence and leadership, and is one of the recognized authorities on the subject of honesty. He is the author of two groundbreaking books, Just Be Honest: Authentic Communication Strategies that Get Results and Last a Lifetime and Honest Works! RealWorld Solutions to Common Problems at Work and Home. He is also the co-author of the book Honesty Sells: How to Make More Money and Increase Business Profits. Reach the Steven Gaffney Company via e-mail at or call 703-241-7796 or visit us at www. ©2011 The Steven Gaffney Company. Used with permission.


By Michelle May, M.D.

The Wholesaler’s Picture of Health:

It’s the Little Things That Matter Most Have you seen a photo mosaic? From a distance, it looks like an ordinary portrait, but up close, you realize that it’s actually comprised of thousands of small detailed photographs. Your health is like that: a mosaic of the thousands of decisions you make about eating, physical activity, and well-being. No single decision determines the outcome, but altogether they create your picture of health. Here are six ways to build a healthy lifestyle that is enjoyable and sustainable: Find the middle ground. Think of eating and physical activity like a pendulum with two extremes: All and Nothing. What happens if you draw a pendulum in one direction and let it go? Of course it swings to the opposite extreme. Too often, this is how people approach their choices: all or nothing. No individual snack, meal, or drink— or day on the couch—will ruin your picture of health, but a pattern of overconsumption or disregard for your


health will affect the end result. Since perfection is not possible (or even necessary), find the balance in between. When your eating and exercise regime takes into account your schedule, preferences, goals, health concerns, and other issues specific to you, you’re able to establish a healthy lifestyle that is flexible enough to withstand the realities of your daily life. Use nutrition information as a tool, not a weapon. Rigid rules set you up for failure because when your favorites are off-limits, you’ll still want them. This can trigger cravings, overeating, and guilt, so you may find yourself in a trap I call the “eat-repentrepeat” cycle. Instead, enjoy the foods you really love without guilt. This freedom actually decreases cravings and overeating, and increases enjoyment and moderation. When guilt is no longer a factor, common sense prevails. Remember that all foods can fit into a healthy diet. Just keep in mind the common-sense principles of balance,

variety, and moderation when deciding what to eat: balance eating for enjoyment with eating for nourishment; choose a variety of foods to feel healthy and satisfied; and practice moderation in all things. If your eating is out of balance, simply ask yourself, “Is there a healthier choice I could make without feeling deprived?” You may discover that you are just as satisfied with a diet soda instead of regular, whole grain crackers instead of chips, or a small instead of a large. That is balance, variety, and moderation. Check your fuel gauge. You wouldn’t pull into a gas station to fill up without first checking your fuel gauge. But how often do you eat just because the food’s there? To recognize the difference between wanting to eat and needing to eat, pause and ask yourself, “Am I hungry?” It’s a deceptively simple question. You’ll probably be surprised to discover how often you feel like eating just because you’re bored, tired, stressed, or want a

reward. Eating food your body doesn’t need leads to weight gain—and it doesn’t meet your emotional needs very well either. By asking “Am I hungry?”, you may sometimes realize that you’re too hungry. Skipping meals, especially breakfast, sets you up for overeating and poor choices. Keep nutrient rich foods on hand for snacks. Examples of great choices include a handful of nuts, fresh or dried fruit, whole grain crackers with low-fat string cheese, or a pouch of ready-to-eat tuna. End eating on autopilot. Eating on the run doesn’t work because the ability to multitask is a myth. Your brain can only focus on one thing at a time so everything else goes on autopilot—especially eating. This is why you can get to the end of a meal and feel stuffed but strangely unsatisfied. On the other hand, mindful eating is eating with intention and attention. Eat with the intention of feeling better when you’re done than you did when you started. Eat with attention by taking a break to eat. Make eating an opportunity to refuel and recharge. Minimize distractions, pay attention to your hunger and fullness cues, and appreciate the aromas, appearance, and flavors of the meal. Awareness of your body’s fuel needs and conscious enjoyment of the entire experience lead to greater satisfaction with less food. As you experience the benefits of eating more mindfully, ask yourself what other areas of your life would improve with less multitasking and more intention and attention. Exercise for health, not punishment. Don’t make the mistake of exercising to earn the right to eat or pay penance for eating, as in, “I was so bad at dinner last night; I’ll spend an extra hour on the treadmill.” This negative approach leads to dread and avoidance. Instead, exercise for energy, productivity, health, function, and longevity.

that work well in your schedule. Even busy people quickly discover that it’s a great return on their investment when they focus on the benefits. Exercise is so valuable in fact, that if you’re too busy to exercise, you’re just too busy. If you aren’t in shape yet, start small and you’ll quickly adapt. Picture that pendulum: small steps practiced consistently are more effective than one large, temporary overhaul. Take responsibility for your well-being. Self-care is not an indulgence, it is a necessity. The little things—restful sleep, connecting with family and friends, time for favorite hobbies, quiet relaxation—all contribute to your effectiveness, health, and vitality. Of course this mosaic metaphor applies to building your business too. When you keep the big picture in mind, tile by tile, choice by choice, you’ll create a masterpiece of good health and your best year yet!

Michelle May, M.D. is an inspirational speaker and the founder of the Am I Hungry?® Mindful Eating Workshops ( She is the awardwinning author of Eat What You Love, Love What You Eat: How to Break Your Eat-Repent-Repeat Cycle. Download the first chapter free: eat-what-you-love-book.shtml

Remember, They’re Rejecting You: Simple Steps to Help You Become a Terrible Salesperson continued from page 18… wrong time or in the wrong mood; it’s not because they can’t see an immediate need for what you’re offering; and it’s not because they need time to consider your offer or consult their business partners. It’s because they hate you. If anyone else in the world had called, they’d have bought. They’re probably calling one of your competitors right now just so they can place a multi-million dollar order with anybody but you. I could go on, but that should be enough to make sure you cry yourself to sleep tonight. There are other techniques to help your wholesaling career stagnate and ultimately crumble, but I’ve run out of space. So I’ll leave you with the words of Franklin Delano Roosevelt, a man who led America through the darkness of World War II and knew a few things about fear. I’m sure you’ve heard this quote before: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” And making phone calls, and the possibility of being told no, and…well, actually there are a lot of things to fear. Run and hide, people. Run and hide.

A Phi Beta Kappa graduate of Vanderbilt University, Jeff Havens began his career as a high school English teacher before following his father into the world of standup comedy. But his impulse to teach never faded, and soon he began looking for an avenue to combine both of his passions into entertaining and meaningful presentations. The results are Uncrapify Your Life!, How to Get Fired!, Unleash Your Inner Tyrant! and Becoming a More Annoying You! He has brought his unique, side-splitting, messagebased presentations to General Electric, Ford Motor Company, U.S. Bank, McDonald’s, and hundreds of other corporations in the United States and Canada.

Find activities that you really enjoy and


By Kyle Maynard

Why Chaotic Markets Are Your New Year’s Gift: And How Being Born a Quadruple Amputee Became Mine In 2005, in my dorm room at the University of Georgia, I wrote my story in a book that shortly after its release became a NY Times bestseller. The book launched with a weekend rollout that included interviews on Oprah, Larry King and 20/20. With all 19 years of life experience and 23 college credit hours under my belt, I found myself on stage speaking to a wide range of audiences -- including several Fortune 500 companies. In what felt like overnight, I went from being a freshman college student studying broadcast journalism to a cardcarrying, platinum medallion business traveler.


The transition happened so quickly, I was not prepared for the changes I’d have to adapt to. While everything started out as incredibly exciting, it quickly made a turn for the worse. It didn’t take long before I began to feel depressed. I doubt that I need to clarify it for you, but depressed motivational speakers usually don’t work out too well. The hardest part of the whole experience was leaving the comfort zone I had at home. What bothered me most was when people would look at me like I was helpless. My friends, family, and wrestling teammates always looked at me the way I look at myself: without any disability. It was never a big issue to them because it wasn’t to me. However,

to people I’d never met before, being born with arms that end at my elbows and legs that end at my knees was a pretty big deal at first. For perspective, I don’t have many adaptations for things at all. I live on my own and other than the stool in my bathroom to get up to the sink, there isn’t anything different in my three-story townhouse. I type about 50 words a minute on a normal keyboard and drive a vehicle with lifted pedals. I put the seat a little closer to the wheel and leave unsuspecting police officers and fast food cashiers quite surprised. I was born with congenital amputation, so I never lived my life any other way. I grew up living my life the only way I knew how. Since the people in my life treated me as normal, I never saw myself differently. Nevertheless, something was different about the way some people would talk to me when I was traveling. When people would talk to me like I was totally helpless, I actually started feeling that way. Over the past three years, undoubtedly, there have been moments where you felt helpless. When we put our focus on things that are entirely outside of our control, like a market that’s swinging up and down more quickly than a tired twoyear old’s emotions, we can’t help but feel helpless. How many times in the past three years have you listened to an industry expert describe the country’s financial woes like it was some economic Armageddon? Has it ever served you to commiserate with anyone about their grim forecast for the future? We have to break out of this victim, everything-ishappening-to-me-and-I-can’t-do-anything-about-it mindset. When we decide we are no longer going to be a victim to circumstance, the universe is going to move out of the way. It’s going to move or you will move it. The lesson I learned and repeated to myself to overcome my self-perceived helplessness was a simple one: Stop letting other people tell you what you can or cannot do. Start deciding for yourself. And it only took one experience in the airport to solidify that for me. On a trip where I was about to fly from New York’s La Guardia airport to Toronto, an airport employee approached me and told me he ‘had’ to help push my wheelchair down the

jetway to board the plane. He explained it was a liability if I pushed myself and after a little back-and-forth, I gave in. The only problem was the wheelchair assistant who wanted to help was about 7 ft. tall, and the only liability I could see was in the distance he had to cover to bend over to reach the handlebars on my wheelchair, which were well below his waist. It only took three steps for him to stumble over a bar in the back of the wheelchair and trip. As he tried to catch himself, he LAUNCHED me down the jetway. My attempt to stop myself by grabbing the wheels failed completely, forcing me to try and ram myself into the wall to slow down. That didn’t work either. I tried to grab the wall. It didn’t slow me down but it did slice the end of my arm open when I hit the metal strips that fold the jetway like an accordion, leaving a solid streak of blood on the wall. When I hit the bottom of the ramp, I was catapulted out of my wheelchair, landing upside down with my back against the wall. Thankfully, I’d missed the people waiting to board the plane at the bottom of the ramp, who I think looked more shocked than I did. I popped up, laughing hysterically, while the pilot, co-pilot, flight attendants, and frightened wheelchair assistant came rushing to me. I told them I promised not to sue anybody, as long as they promised to never help me again. From that point forward I made the conscious decision to believe in my own independence. That didn’t mean I was incapable of asking anyone for help, quite the contrary. I now had the choice to decide how I let individuals and events in my life shape how I felt about myself. Once I stopped allowing other people to tell me what I couldn’t do, people actually started responding to me completely differently. People accepted me once I started accepting myself. When people look at me they see the visual representation of what I’ve had to overcome. It’s natural for other people to think being born without limbs has to be the hardest thing I deal with in my life. What they don’t necessarily see, at least at first glance, is that it’s actually become the greatest gift I’ve ever been given. continue on page 25…


By Kathy Freeman Godfrey

Your 2012: Should I Stay or Should I Go? At the beginning of each new year, almost everyone takes the time to reflect on where they’ve been and where they want to go in their careers. The self-reflection begins anew based on what you’ve accomplished thus far, how much fun have you had during the process and what, if anything, you would change going forward. Let’s overview 12 good guidelines/questions for consideration going into the New Year…. 1. How have I done thus far in my career? It’s always a good idea to take an honest look at where we have been in our careers and where we thought we’d be, and then measure it against where we actually are. If you’ve been a wholesaler for 10 years and you have been earning a good living, have developed a good client base and enjoy your work, then you should be pleased. Now just consider whether there is something else that would complement the success you’ve achieved to this point. 2. What is it specifically that I want to learn or where can I grow to take my career to the next level? We all work so diligently that it is often difficult to find the time to think about ourselves. As you begin the New Year, take stock in who you admire in the industry and what they do or represent that you might like to replicate. Is it their capital markets expertise? Maybe a CIMA or CFA designation is worthwhile for you to pursue. Is it their speaking skills and presence? Maybe investing in presentation training or getting a personal coach might be a good answer. Be proactive in thinking about who you admire and how you might take a step to being better or more capable. 3. Do I feel fairly compensated for my work? This is a fundamental question but it is critical to your contentment with your work. Consider your compensation. Whether it is up or down, determine whether it is a fair reflection of your efforts and the market conditions. Is it tied to your firm’s success and profitability? 4. Is there an opportunity to complement where I am in my current firm or does it make sense to look externally? Take some time to look around you and consider your opportunities for expanding your horizons, either intellectually or in terms of promotability. Ascertain whether you are working for the right firm when it comes to maximizing your career potential. 5. Does it make sense to talk to my boss about how to


expand my horizons and opportunities within my existing firm? After the downturn in the markets, many firms are facing profitability constraints and as a result have flattened out the hierarchy in the organization. Even if you don’t see an opportunity to move up right now in the firm, it might be worthwhile to talk to your boss about your career goals over the longer term. He may have insights as to the next growth areas for the firm when the markets improve which may lend themselves to a better opportunity for your career. If your boss doesn’t know that you are feeling antsy about your current lack of growth potential, he can’t keep you in mind when the changes come about. 6. Beyond my own capabilities, are the product lines or services that I’m representing in the market resonating with the target audience such that I have an opportunity to increase my income next year? Is your firm attentive to delivering the right product to the audience that you are targeting? Clearly the right product in this chaotic market environment is a moving target, but you should feel that you have insight and confidence as to what the firm’s vision is when it comes to providing a diversified offering to its clients. 7. What about the fun factor? Are you enjoying your career? Inventory what you enjoy about what you do. Do you have fun with the clients, driving new relationships, closing new business? Have you identified that you have a passion for your work that drives you to succeed? If not, break out what you enjoy most and where the disconnects are. Identify what you need to change. 8. What is it about your current firm’s culture that really resonates with you? Does your firm have a culture that fits you? Are they just as competitive as you are? Do you feel more collegial while some of your team seems like sharks by comparison? Are you more into the investments themselves while your firm wants to emphasize practice management as its superior value-add to the clients? 9. Is there anything about the culture that is pushing you towards the door and to another firm? Think about the effect that the culture has on your career. If the firm isn’t driving itself to the higher bar, if their approach to doing business is different from yours, think about changing to a firm which will be more supportive and synergistic to your style.

Why Chaotic Markets Are Your New Year’s Gift: And How Being Born a Quadruple Amputee Became Mine continued from page 23…

10. What about your current boss? Is he someone who adds to your enjoyment of your career or does he put a damper on your work? A direct supervisor who isn’t a leader, who isn’t a motivator and isn’t effective in developing your capabilities isn’t good for much. Think about your boss and see whether he adds any value to your career. 11. As you consider your current relationship with your boss, would you say he would be a strong consideration in your decision to either stay or go? This is where the rubber meets the road. If you were called by a firm about a tremendous career opportunity, would your relationship with your boss be the one thing that would make you stay or make it easy for you to go? 12. Considering the tumultuous economic and market conditions, does it make more sense to stay where I am in the next 12 months? This is a critical question to consider in your career today. There will continue to be some instability in the financial markets and taking flight to what appears to be a “hot” firm may not be the best long-term choice. Leverage the questions above to do an inventory on how you feel about your career. Think about where you’ve been, what you’ve accomplished, and what you have left to achieve. Be cognizant and proactive about your choices regarding whether to stay or go as we head into 2012.

Kathy Freeman Godfrey is the President of The Kathy Freeman Company, a retained executive search practice she opened in 1992 to focus her work exclusively within the investment industry. Since that time, she has completed hundreds of assignments working with premier firms across the country in asset management, wealth management, service provider organizations and investment technology. Functionally, Kathy works with senior sales and marketing executives where she can leverage her extensive assessment process to ascertain best in class talent for her clients and their firms.

If I’d been born like a typical kid, I almost certainly wouldn’t be doing what I’m doing. Being born without my arms or legs has allowed me to have a voice as an author and speaker and make an impact. In some cases, I’ve been told that impact has been enough to stop people from taking their own lives. I can’t imagine being connected to a stronger sense of purpose. Similar to being born with a disability, there are tremendous gifts that come with a down market once we start opening ourselves to them. If everyone is running for the hills, how many more clients can you reach? If people go into fear mode and only take the same boring, worn-out approaches, how much easier is it for you to differentiate yourself? The next time someone comes to you complaining about the market and crying like Chicken Little, remember your power to draw your own meaning. No matter what’s happening around you, it’s always your choice as to how you respond. This economy will become a gift once you decide to start recognizing it. The choice is yours.

Born without arms or legs below his elbows and knees, Kyle Maynard has excelled as a champion athlete, motivational speaker, author, model, and entrepreneur. A 2004 ESPY award winner, Kyle has competed nationally against able-bodied athletes in wrestling, powerlifting, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and Mixed Martial Arts. Today, Kyle is preparing to crawl on all four limbs to the top of Mt. Kilimanjaro, the highest peak in Africa.


ADVISOR INSIDER: STATS YOU NEED TO KNOW 75.8% have over 10 Years experience


Use Model Portfolios of which they place an average of 25.9% of their business


say they have ‘complete autonomy’ over their client assets; 23.5% say they have ‘no autonomy over client assets

54.3%: advisors who are fee based


average amount of client in Variable

Source: kasina and Horsemouth

67.5%: advisors who do 401k Business 171.4MM:

average Team AUM

19.8% 9 6

have LOW trust in the home office

Average number of asset managers used

average number of product providers for non-wrap mutual funds; for variable annuities, that number is 3


client assets invested ariable Annuities




Just another great tip I picked up at Wholesaler Masterminds‌

Sweet new laptop, Johnson!

Wholesaler Masterminds specializes in peer group and individual coaching for wholesalers and managers. Our laser focus is on practice management ideas that allow our clients to realize their career, income and personal goals. Contact us today for a complimentary discussion: 888-508-5010 28 | WINTER 2012 | I CARRY THE BAG

I Carry The Bag - Winter 2012  
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