Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

Mar ion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

Edited by Marion Thomas Collins, Jr. Contributing authors: The Children– Carolyn Ann Collins Webb, Marion Thomas (Tom) Collins, Jr., Michael (Mike) Edward Collins, John Steven (Steve) Collins

Published by I-65 NORTH, INC. Franklin, Tennessee 2008

Marion Thomas Collins and Alice Elsie Welch Collins

Dedicated to our Heroes Mom and Dad

Table of Contents Chapters I

How This Book Came to Be

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Dad’s Notebook Entries Wit and Wisdom Work, Opportunities, Success, Leadership, and Wealth Traits and Personal Responsibility Honesty, Integrity, and Reputation Humor, Happiness, and Positive Thinking Anger, Hate, Fear, Worry, Envy, and Negativity Civility, Kindness, Forgiveness, and Tolerance Marriage, Family and Friends God, Faith, Ageing and Change Words That Hurt or Help

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Talking about Dad

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Lineage of Marion Thomas Collins Sr.

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Lineage of Alice Welch Collins

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Photographs

Chapter I How This Book Came to Be

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he remembered sayings and lessons were transcribed from the handwritten log of Marion Thomas Collins. He recorded these instructions for living a good life in an old green spiral notebook over a period of at least 50 years. The pages were ruled and the cover was plastic and the whole thing was three-hole punched. The entries were made in pencil .The exact origin of each listed item has been lost to time. Some are his own original insights. Others are remembered.

Particularly, they were remembered from the days Marion spent growing up around his grandfather, James Wesley Collins.

James Wesley Collins was born in 1854. He was the son of James Monroe Collins and Mary Jane O’Bar. His birthplace was Stewart County, Tennessee, probably the town of Dover. There are no known photographs or drawings of James Wesley, but he is said to have been a neat man, rather tall and slim. Both his father, James Monroe Collins, and his grandfather, Francis Collins, were traveling ministers. Francis Collins was reported to have been, at that time, the most noted Methodist evangelist in the South. It is said that in “one of his revival meetings such enthusiasm was manifested that there were in two weeks 845 conversions and 456 accessions to the church.”

True to his upbringing and lineage, James Wesley followed in the footsteps of his forefathers traveling the circuit as an Evangelist-Methodist minister. His enthusiasm to minister could at times get the best of him.

During one revival meeting, James Wesley and Brother Farrell got into an argument over who would preach that night. James Wesley won with the aid of a two-by-four! In the Christian spirit, the two men made up the next morning and rode on together to the next revival. Brother Farrell had a bump on his head, however.

James Wesley Collins outlived three wives and married a fourth time.

His second wife was Callie Pence who gave birth to Marion’s father, 1

Frank Monroe Collins. Frank was born in 1893 and married Lottie Mae Wilson. He served with the militia at the Mexican border and later went into the grocery business in St. Louis where Marion was born on June 6, 1918. By 1920 the family had moved to the Binghamton neighborhood of Memphis, Tennessee. The Memphis neighborhood had also become the home of both Frank Monroe’s father, James Wesley Collins, and Frank’s half brother, Granville Thomas Collins. Granville was the first son of James Wesley. Frank Monroe was the second. James Wesley Collins, now in his mid sixties, had given up his life as a traveling minister. He and Brother Farrell shared the pulpit of a small Baptist Holiness church in the Binghamton community. He passed on to the next world in 1945.

Times were hard. Marion’s father, Frank Monroe, had little time for his six living children. He worked where he could, doing what he could, to keep the family fed. When he wasn’t working as a peddler or a butcher, he was usually sleeping. The man who was available for Marion to bond with was the tall old man who was his grandfather. Marion and James Wesley were buddies. Wherever the old man went, Marion went. James Wesley’s home was a simple wooden house with no frills and the walls and floors were exposed wood. There was dug well for water, an outhouse for the necessities, a cow for milk, a horse and buggy for transportation, and chickens for eggs and an occasional Sunday dinner of fried chicken.

He had a big garden of fresh vegetables. His shotgun and fishing gear put meat on the table. James Wesley also bartered or earned a little money by trapping in the bottomland along the nearby Wolf River. Marion would accompany the old man on camping trips that would last two or three weeks hunting, fishing, and trapping—living under the stars, cooking over the open fire, and living off the land.

As Marion remembers his grandfather, the man seldom spoke in sentences. He instructed his buddy and responded to the young boy’s questions with sayings and parables. The aging preacher had a remarkable understanding of human nature and, looking back on it now, Marion says he seemed to see the future and how it would change how people related to each other and their environment. He explained to the young Marion, “Less is more.” The less people have, the more they value what they have. The more they have, the less those things will be valued and the less satisfied people will be with their lot. He explained to him that 2

Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

the closer people would live together the more distant they would become—seeming to see how in the future people could live in zero lot houses and never know their neighbors.

The importance of his grandfather’s influence in the making of Marion Collins does not mean that his father did not also have a role in the shaping of his character. Frank Monroe Collins was a hard working man who had to provide for a family in the heart of the Depression. He was neither afraid of hard work nor afraid to take the risk of making his own way in life. Today we might call that an entrepreneurial spirit. He didn’t look or wait for others to solve his problems. He did what was necessary. There was a bit of horse trader in him. He had to be for the currency of the Depression was often bartering— exchanging one thing for something worth more or that you needed more. By profession, he was a butcher and at one time worked for Liberty Cash and Carry. But rather than “Teach your children depend on others for work, he venand you also teach tured out on his own becoming a peddler, operating out of horse and your grandchildren.” wagon. His mainstay goods were fresh vegetables, beef and pork. He butchered sides of beef and hogs at his home. By the age of twelve, Marion was spending less time with his grandfather and more time working for his father. It wasn’t long before Marion was doing most of the work turning sides of beef and hogs into the various cuts meat that his father’s merchandised out of his wagon.

His preacher grandfather instilled in Marion his core belief that the purpose of life is to do good and help others. From his father, he learned the necessity and value of hard work, and he inherited the independent sprit to take entrepreneurial risk and solve his own problems.

In 1934 Marion was making his own way in the world at age 16. Hired to fill in for the absent butcher of a Memphis Kroger store, his skill and hard work quickly resulted in his being hired full time as the store’s meat market manager—the youngest market manager in Kroger’s history!

The next big influence on Marion would come when he met Alice Elsie Welch and married her three years later in 1937. Alice Welch who was born in Winfield, Louisiana, to a family of sharecroppers had also known hardship. Her like is another extraordinary story to be told later.

Among the many qualities she brought to the partnership was a practi3

cal “show me” approach to dealing with others that added balance to Marion’s belief that others shared his commitment to “doing good and helping others.”

His grandfather, his parents, his brothers, his sister, his friends, his wife, and her family all played a part in creating Marion the man, but one cannot leave out the times. Both Marion and Alice grew up in the poverty of the Great Depression. Theirs was not a nurturing environment. They were left to their own devises, to find their own way, especially as each entered their teens. The product of the environment and the times was a husband and wife team who were resilient, resourceful and self-reliant.

But it also made them caring and generous.

Let me return once again to the contents of this book, the remembered sayings and lessons for life. They cannot be separated from the man, Marion Thomas Collins. They are the core beliefs that reflect his character, a character refined by life experiences and particularly by three major influences on his Life, his grandfather preacher, his hard working father, and his practical minded wife. Taken together, they provide the recipe for success through work, being a good person and helping others and finally, holding others accountable for doing the same. His decision to record these sayings was inspired by the memory of his grandfather and fulfils that remembered saying, “Teach your children and you also teach your grandchildren.”

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Cahapter 2 - Section I Wit and Wisdom Marion’s Notebook Entries

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There is some good in the worst of us, and some bad in the best of us.

You may not be able to change faults in others, but you can change some of yours.

If two people talk at the same time, no one hears the other.

No government, family, or business can survive without punishment for wrongdoing.

All kitchens should have a drawer for small tools, tape, glue, hammer, and other small tools that you may need for repairs in the home.

Sometimes there is more to gain by being wrong than by being right.

Most arguments are two people who don’t know what they are arguing about.

It is far more impressive for others to discover your good qualities without your help.

We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is profit.

If you want to move the world, you must first move yourself.

How sad would winter be if we had no expectation of spring.

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

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If two people agree on everything, one of them is unnecessary.

The only thing that ever set its way to success was a hen.

Liberty is the only thing you cannot have unless you are willing to give it to others.

Not all of us have talents, so common sense and love will have to do.

One never realizes how much or how little he knows until he or she starts talking.

Why don’t we say to ourselves, “This is a great time and moment in history and I can and will make the most of it.”?

Tradition lives because young people come along who catch the romance and add new glories to it.

To receive a present handsomely and in the right spirit, even when you have none to give in return, is to give a gift.

While an original is always hard to find, he is easy to recognize.

You cannot buy enthusiasm; you cannot buy initiative; you cannot buy the devotion of hearts, minds and souls. You have to earn those things.

If you are lucky enough to find a way of life, you have to find the courage to live it.

Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said could not be done.

Be patient with everyone, but most of all, be patient with yourself.

If you take too long in deciding what to do with your life, you have done it already.

Try it, you may like it is an old saying, but it has some truth in it— Try it, you may like it!

Young people do not know enough to be prudent, and therefore, they attempt the impossible and achieve it generation after generation.

Some things are bad; some things are good. If you want more good things, maybe you should try harder. Good things are out there for those that really want them.

One half the trouble of this life can be traced to saying “yes” too quickly and not saying “no” soon enough.

Repair people cost plenty. When you do have to call a repairman watch how he does it. Doing your own repair work around your home is like having another source of income.

What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of 7

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humor or if everyone was the same.

An optimist thinks this is the best of all worlds; a pessimist fears the same may be true.

Incompetent people invariably make trouble for people other than themselves.

It is always helpful to learn from your mistakes because then your mistakes seem worthwhile.

Plans are only good intentions unless they are carried out.

Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well, but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out.

Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and they will probably use their ingenuity to accomplish it.

The trail is the thing, travel it too fast and you miss all you are traveling for.

There are three things that if a man does not know, he can not live long in this world! What is too much for him; what is too little for him; and what is just right for him.

Knowledge is not simply another commodity. It is never used up. It increases by diffusion and grows by dispersion.

An optimist is foolish enough to believe the best is yet to come and it usually is!

Be one who keeps his work, his temper, and his friends.

Be careful in giving advice. Wise men don’t need it and fools won’t heed it.

The pessimist is a good teacher. Watch what he says and does, then you will know what you should never say or do.

There is too much said for the sake of argument and too little said for the sake of the argument.

Everyone makes mistakes, but the bad ones are the ones you do not learn from.

Giving, loving, caring, and making life better for others are some of the treasures of life.

When you are right, no one remembers. When you are wrong, no one forgets.

There is no such thing as the perfect man or woman, but you can be the best you can.

Time passes too fast except during an embarrassing moment.

One of life’s early lessons is sadly all too true—success occurs in

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

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private and failure in full view.

A clear conscience is what hurts when all your parts feel good.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

The longer you carry a problem, the heavier it gets.

Decisions are too important to leave to chance.

No one can get anyone out of a ditch by throwing dirt on them.

Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.

The bigger a person’s head gets, the easier it is to fill his or her shoes.

Wisdom is knowing what to do next—virtue is doing it.

If you find yourself in a hole, do not dig it any deeper.

The moment of victory is much too short to live for that and nothing else.

That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.

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Chapter 2 - Section 2 Work, Opportunities, Success, Leadership and Wealth Marion’s Notebook Entries

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You will learn as much from failure as you can from success.

Credit cards can be a friend or your worst enemy. Pay no interest, if possible. Try to use them only if you can pay when due.

Winners do what losers don’t want to do—work.

If you want the best things in life, remember the words—try, do, I will and persistence.

Each person has been given time to spend. All we have to do is use it well.

You can get by on charm for about 15 minutes. After that, you better know something.

When the deadline comes, it will be too late. So do it now.

Motivation is what gets you started; habit is what keeps you going.

There will come a time when you believe everything is finished— that will be the beginning.

Opportunities are often things you haven’t noticed the first time around.

The reward for work done well is the opportunity to do more.

Success without honor is an unseasoned dish. It will satisfy your hunger, but it just will not taste good.

Blessed is the person who is too busy to worry in the daytime and too sleepy to worry at night.

Persistence is the key to success.

Be the task great or small; do it well or not at all.

As long as you do your best every job can be a learning experience.

The most important lesson from winning is that you can.

If a desire to succeed is so intense, no force on earth can stop it.

Privilege has responsibility—make sure you use it well.

The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

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Achievement is largely the product of steadily raising your level of expectations.

When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses only results.

Wise are those who learn that the bottom line doesn’t always have to be their top priority.

Determine that the thing can and shall be done, and then you will find the way to accomplish it.

Great success is built by turning negatives into positives.

There are two kinds of people—the ones that need to be told and the ones that figure it out for themselves.

A leader knows what is best to do—a manager merely knows how best to do it.

If the window of opportunity appears, don’t pull down the shade.

Find a job you love, and you’ll never have to work a day in your life.

It is easy to sit up and take notice in life. What is difficult is getting up and taking action.

To love what you do and feel that it matters—how could anything be more worthwhile?

If you can’t excel with talent, do it with more effort.

Opportunities are often things not noticed the first time you looked.

Not a single rich person is getting rich by exploiting his or her working labor force.

A leader’s role is to raise people’s aspirations for what they can become and to release their energy so they will try to get there.

The will to win is not nearly as important as the will to prepare to win.

All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.

Opportunities are like the sunrise; if you wait too long, you will miss them.

Saving is like planting a garden. If you do not plant the seed, you will not get any food.

If you enjoy your work and your life, you are rich. If you are not happy with either, how can money help?

A window of opportunity won’t open itself. It takes a little help from you.

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No matter how much money you make, you will always be poor if you spend more than you make. It is not what you earn, it is what you save.

Love what you do and feel that it matters.

Success is getting what you want; happiness is liking what you get.

A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.

Being defeated is often a temporary condition; giving up is what makes it permanent.

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

Chapter 2 - Section 3 Traits and Personal Responsibility Marion’s Notebook Entries

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If you do not take care of the things you have, you will not take care of the things you get.

Keep your troubles and complaining to yourself. Only do some thing about them yourself.

Be a listener not a talker. You will be liked more and learn more.

Everyone is comfortable with the person who has class because that person is comfortable with himself. Class can not be faked.

Problems in life will happen to each of us, so solve your problems as fast and efficiently as you can. Do not put the problem off; don’t worry about it, just take care of it.

Truth of character and a good life consist of love, joy, peace, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness and self control.

When you make a mistake, say you did so, and then go on from there.

When a whiner makes a mistake, he says it wasn’t his fault. A whiner has only two speeds—hysterical and lethargic—so don’t be a whiner, be a winner.

There is nothing lost by discarding your faults.

Everyone needs responsibility—you cannot get along without it.

Don’t abandon your old fashioned principles; they have been proven over time.

Take better care of yourself. Remember you are what you do and eat.

Try not to make a promise you don’t think you can keep.

An apology never diminishes a person; it elevates him or her.

Try never to raise you tone of voice; it will always earn an unpleasant reply.

None are so empty as those who are full of themselves.

All bad habits will not disappear unless you stop and think of what you are doing to yourself and do something about it.

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Confidence never comes from having all the answers; it comes from being open to all the questions.

Anyone who complains too often about life is always complaining about others.

Those who finds fault with everyone should look unto themselves and maybe they will find the real problem.

No day is wasted if you have learned something new about yourself that will help make you a better person.

When we discuss, we show our intelligence. When we argue, we display our ignorance.

If you don’t know, say you don’t know. Never give half answers.

Patience and perseverance have a magical affect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish.

Free you heart from hatred, free your mind from worries.

Live simply, give more and expect less.

Let others be kind to you. Part of being considerate is accepting and treasuring kindness.

Anyone who takes himself too seriously always runs the risk of looking ridiculous. Anyone who consistently laughs at himself does not.

Never use drugs. They will destroy you and the ones you love.

If you are unpleasant to others and unpleasant to be around, you will not find happiness or friends.

A bad attitude will hurt everything you try to accomplish.

Anyone who has a chip on his shoulder carries a heavy load.

May your hand be always stretched out in friendship; never in want.

No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

All use of bad language shows lack of respect for yourself and others.

Anyone who is rude to a waiter or to any one that serves them is not a nice person.

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

Chapter 2 - Section 4 Honesty, Integrity and Reputation Marion’s Notebook Entries

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Goodness and honesty in dealing with others will always pay off in the long run.

If you cheat or lie in your dealing with others, you will be the one cheated the most.

Your reputation is one of your most valuable assets, along with your family and real friends.

Life will be much simpler for you if you tell the truth. Lies will always find you out.

Honesty is something you can not wear out.

It’s better to be known for something that you were proud of, than something that you were not.

What you are is what others see, so it’s all up to you.

We cannot forever hide the truth about ourselves from ourselves.

The real tests of courage are much deeper and much quieter, like remaining faithful when nobody’s looking.

People seldom become famous for what they say until after they are famous for what they have done.

Integrity is telling yourself the truth and honesty is telling the truth to others.

If you seek what is honorable, what is the truth of your life, all the other things you could not imagine come as a matter of course.

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Chapter 2 - Section 5 Humor, Happiness and Positive Thinking Marion’s Notebook Entries

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Life is not perfect, nor is it all bad. It’s up to you to make life the best you can—be positive, loving, helpful in all things.

Positive, happy, loving people are welcomed by all—they are fun to be with.

When you go, take a smile with you. When you leave, leave a smile behind.

Keep your mind focused on things that are true, noble and right.

This is the way of everlasting happiness.

You can’t stay mad at anyone who makes you laugh.

Humor is a good thing. The minute it shows up, all of our irritations and resentments slip away and good spirit takes over.

Happy people are always good to have as friends.

Walk tall and smile more—you will look ten years younger.

Being friendly costs nothing, but the returns can be great.

The remarkable thing is that we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.

Humor is a presence in the world, like grace—and shines on everyone.

You should always smile—even if you have crooked teeth—when you are with friends.

Good humor is a sign of a happy, good person. They make the best friends.

Anyone who takes himself too seriously, always runs the risk of looking ridiculous; anyone who consistently laughs at himself does not.

You must not have negativity in your life. Be positive in all things; let no one tell you it is not possible—just do it.

A positive attitude may not solve all problems—but it sure can solve most of them.

Happiness is an attitude. You either make yourself miserable or happy. It’s up to you.

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If you are happy and peaceful when you are with others, chances are that they will be glad to be with you. Maybe you will make their day.

A big smile and a happy person with a good handshake always make a good salesman.

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Chapter 2 - Section 6 Anger, Hate, Fear, Worry, Envy and Negativity Marion’s Notebook Entries

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Successful people are more lucky; just ask any pessimist.

Always living in fear of something that may happen is a waste of your time and happiness.

Hate that you give out will always come back to hurt you in many different ways. Give love then you will get love.

Try not to have negative people or thoughts in your life. Always be positive.

You cannot further the brotherhood of man by inciting class hatred.

You cannot strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

You cannot lift the wage earner by putting down the wage payer.

Anyone who is always complaining and criticizing others shows his disappointment for his own worth and his unwillingness to face life.

Fear stops you from living life. It is good to be careful, but do not let it keep you from doing what you need to do.

If you think you are beaten, you are. If you think you dare not, you don’t. If you think you will lose, you have. If you do not try, you are sure to fail. If you think you are outclassed, you are.

Holding on to anger only makes things worse.

Being upset over what you don’t have wastes what you do have.

Resolve to stop magnifying small problems and shooting from the hip.

A person should be judged by what he is and what he stands for, not his race.

Most of what we fear never happens. As the great man President Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”

The person that says the rich man takes from him is very much mistaken. The rich man can only use some of what he has earned by his thinking and doing. The rest of his money makes JOBS for

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the person who does the complaining. There would not be so many people complaining if they would do more to help themselves.

No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of the stars or sailed to an uncharted land or opened a new heaven to the human spirit.

If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, then you never will change the outcome.

Anyone with a negative personality can never find the happiness of a person who has a positive personality.

The thinking of a pessimist—the job is a bore, the house is a mess, but it’s not my fault, it’s life. I may do it tomorrow, maybe.

When you speak in anger to another person, you are the one who needs to think and change. An angry voice always hurts you and the person you are speaking to.

Hate and anger are like acids that can do more to the vessel in which they are stored than to anything in which they are poured.

When you say, “That person always gets on my nerves,” maybe you are the cause by answering them in an angry way or being impatient with them.

Nothing wastes more energy than worrying.

Never talk in anger—it only intensifies anger in others.

Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.

If you must show anger, don’t let it overpower you. You can express your thoughts without angering the other person.

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Chapter 2 - Section 7 Civility, Kindness, Forgiveness and Tolerance Marion’s Notebook Entries

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Remember, it takes two to get an argument going. Invariably, the one doing the most talking is probably the one who is wrong.

When anyone talks to you about what they think may be interesting to you, please let them know you are hearing what was said.

Do not use sarcasm when you talk to others.

You never understand a person until you consider things from their point of view.

Don’t make trouble for others, and you will have less trouble yourself.

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook.

Politeness and consideration is one of the best investments—this will pay off in all ways.

Count no day lost in which you waited your turn, took only your share and sought advantage over no one.

The people who make a difference are the ones that show concern and interest to others and their needs.

Never let an opportunity pass to say a kind and encouraging word to or about somebody.

Let everyone you meet, however humble, feel that you regard him or her as a person of importance.

Bad things you say or do to others will always come back and hurt you—this is for sure.

If you feel the need to criticize someone, please do so in a genteel manner, or do not criticize at all.

Be friendly to everyone and kind to all. Talk kindly, use kind words.

If anyone speaks unkindly to you or about you, be extra nice to them. This may make a friend out of them, or it may change them in some way for good.

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Those who can only see or remember the mistakes of another person need to look inward. There may be some unrest and disappointment in their lives.

Helping others is important. Always do what you can to make life better for others in any way that you can—say good things, do good things and always be kind.

Try to understand a point of view that is different from your own.

Great opportunities to help others come not too often, but small ones surround us every day.

An apology is the superglue of life—it can repair just about anything.

If you must point out the mistakes of others, one time is too much; most times it is nicer to just overlook the mistake.

Help others to like themselves and you will like them too—it works every time.

Never does the human soul appear so strong and noble as when it forgoes revenge and dares forget an injury.

The real art of conversation is not only to say the right things at the right time but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

Kindness is more important than wisdom and recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom.

If nature has made you a giver, your hands are born open and so is your heart. And though there may be times when your hands are empty, your heart is always full. So when your hands are empty give from the heart.

Politeness is the art of choosing among your thoughts.

Always be cheerful and helpful to others and they will repay you in kind.

Until you learn to forgive, you will never be truly free to love anyone.

Think things through; forgive an injustice; listen more; be kind to everyone.

Talk to your neighbors. Get to know them; show them that you care about them; be helpful to each other. This will help to make a good neighbor and a much safer neighborhood.

An unexpected act of kindness is contagious. It makes us want to pass it on.

If you are having a rotten day, don’t take it out on others around you. Do something about it.

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Chapter 2 - Section 8 Marriage, Family and Friends Marion’s Notebook Entries

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A sure way to be unhappy and in trouble is to spend more than you make. Save before you spend. Over spending means big trouble for any young marriage.

The love you have for others and the love given to you are more important than all worldly goods.

When a friend needs help or has other problems, don’t offer help, just go and help them. That is what a real friend will do.

If you have a choice between making yourself or your mate look good, choose your mate.

Married couples should never bring up mistakes of the past. This is one of the worst things you can do to your marriage.

You cannot help another by doing every thing for them. Doing is learning.

People are more important than things. May you love your life so that there is standing room only at your funeral.

Mothers may know best, but sometimes fathers know, too.

The sure way to have a friend is to be one.

Only love can be divided endlessly and still not diminish.

Friends are lights in winter—the older the friend, the brighter the light.

Raising a family is like frying a small fish. You can spoil it if you do too much poking.

To have a loving and happy marriage is to love and trust while giving each other room to grow.

We worry about what a child will be tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.

If you are looking all over for the best things that life has to offer, then you have been looking in the wrong place. If you don’t have wife and family and good friends, you have nothing.

There is no security quite as comfortable and undemanding as the kind you feel among old friends.

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

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What you teach your son and daughter, you teach to your grandchildren as well.

You have achieved excellence if you have more friends than enemies and did more good than bad.

The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love them and their mother.

Two halves do not make a whole when it comes to a healthy relationship—it takes 2 wholes. Only when we are comfortable with who we are and can function independently, can we truly function within a relationship.

Good parenting is a matter of how rooted you are in the steady soil of common sense. The heart and the gut are what make a good parent, not the head.

There is no mistaking love. You feel it in your heart. It is the common fiber of life, the flame that heats our soul, energizes our spirit and makes our lives worthwhile.

Surround yourself with loving friends and you will have discovered the treasures of life and peace.

In marriage, if you fight for yourself only, you can win. When you fight for your marriage, you both win.

Marriage is designed primarily for giving rather than taking. It is meant to be a union of two unselfish people.

Love is working together, laughing together. It is respect for each other and the people each cares about.

No one knows the worth of a man like his wife and his family. They know his faults and his good points.

Don’t be afraid to say “I love you” and say it again. These are the sweetest words in any language.

A home without love is no home at all.

Any person with a glad smile and a kind heart will be a good friend.

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Chapter 2 - Section 9 God, Faith Ageing and Change Marion’s Notebook Entries

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Discipline, love, luck, endurance, truth, knowledge, joy are all good words. But God is the best word of all. The life you have now need not be the only life you will have.

Look for all things in this life to change with passing time (things and people). Use them to learn and grow.

In this life, there are no mistakes, only lessons. Growth is a process of trial, error and experimentation.

Lessons are repeated until learned. There is no stage of life that does not contain a lesson that will make you a better person.

Never tell anyone that they can have something after you leave this world. Put it in your will.

This life given to you is an opportunity to learn the lessons presented to you. Sometimes they are completely different from those you think you need.

God has made you the way you are. Do not try to be someone else.

All your faults and good points are the way they are for some reason that only God knows, so trust and everything will be all right. This I do believe.

Take time to enjoy the little things in your life. Don’t waste your time waiting for the big things which may be few and far apart.

Enjoy your friends and family and be there for them.

When a person gets old, his mind may be a little slower, but his spiritual self will be very much more alive and understanding of life. This you can look forward to as you get older. The meaning of your life and the purpose will be clearer to you; therefore, when you look at an older person, don’t see the oldness, see things that he or she has seen and done so that one day you may see and do also.

Go places, do things. Try new things and meet new friends. Yester day is gone; today is now; do not waste it.

Thank God for what he has given you. You may be sure what he has already given is what you need most. Man only likes to count

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

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his troubles—maybe he should count his joys.

Life has a time of harvest and a time of gathering—everything has its time and place.

Learning is knowledge—wisdom comes from life experience.

Pray for your neighbor also, and ask God to open the door for you to speak lovingly but openly about what he or she is doing. She may be so absorbed in her own problems and fears that she is totally unaware of how she hurts others by her attitude.

As we pass through life many things are lost to us for the wont of asking.

There comes a time in everyone’s life when everything seems cold and dark. There will come the whisper of spring in the wind and another winter will have blown itself away.

When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.

If you begin to live life looking for God that is all around you, every moment becomes a prayer.

It is one thing to learn about the past; it is another thing to wallow in it.

We must use each day to learn and experience the wonders of life.

Learn things, do things and do everything we can to make the world a better place.

We old people have learned that what we believe is that what is worth cherishing in this life begins in the kind heart, not in a hard head.

Pain is what protects our bodies. Thank God for not taking it away when we ask Him. Faith is believing in things when common sense tells you not to.

You know you are getting old when your children have more than you, are smarter than you, have nicer homes than you and when your clothes are older than they are.

Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come only with age; some young people have some, too. Only not as much, ha.

A person facing death doesn’t think about what degrees they have earned, what positions they have held or how much wealth they have accumulated at the end. What really matters and is a good measure of a past life is who you loved and who loved you. The circle of love is everything.

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The choice a man makes in picking a wife can make a big difference in the way his life and family turns out. So you had better do it right.

The man who views the world at 60 the same as he did at 30 has wasted 30 years of his life.

When you face bad times in life, you must not give up fighting. If you can’t endure the bad, you will not live to see the good.

Sooner or later everybody gets hurt by life. There is no way to avoid it, but it is those who bounce back who make it interesting.

Pray with those with troubled hearts; extend your helping hand.

Nothing is ever past, nothing has been lost.

Most bad things that will happen to each of us will turn out well, given time. Don’t waste time on the bad. There are more good things—your health, your friends and other pleasures—just look and you will find.

What happened yesterday you can’t change, but may learn from it today.

You can not hold back the years, but you still have today and tomorrow. What years you still have is time to use to make things better for yourself and others.

The hardships of life are sent not by an unkind deity to crush, but to challenge.

Take pleasure in the beauty and wonders of nature. A flower is God’s miracle.

It is not the burdens of life that weigh us down; it is how we handle them.

Things you will remember most in your old age will be what you would like to change if you could.

Know yourself to be yourself. That is why God made you. Every life has its purpose. One day we will know why.

Live your life in serenity, not in regret.

Those who give love never grow old. They may die of old age, but they are young.

Don’t count your years; make your years count. Show love, be kind, do kind things.

Spread love everywhere you go, first of all in your own home. Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier.

Be the living expression of God’s kindness. Show it in your eyes and through your warm greeting.

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

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To live in the hearts of those we leave behind is not to die.

When courage is needed, ask yourself if not me, who—if not now, when?

Why are some people so difficult and unpleasant to be around?

I once had a neighbor who was always complaining and never expressed appreciation for anything you did for her. Your neighbor illustrates an interesting principle about human nature: The more we complain, the worse we often feel. The Bible says, “When a man is gloomy, everything seems to go wrong; when he is cheerful, everything seems right.” (Proverbs 15:15, the Living Bible) Don’t give up on your neighbor, but help him or her as you have opportunity—even if she doesn’t seem to appreciate it.

Jesus taught us, “Love your enemies…. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? … Do not even pagans do that?”

(Matthew 5:44, 46-47). In other words, we should show love to others even when they don’t show any love or appreciation in return. This, after all, is the kind of love God has for us.

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Chapter 2 - Section 10 Words That Hurt or Help Marion’s Notebook Entries

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Learn to use the word “impossible” with great caution.

Don’t discourage a beginner from trying something risky. Nothing ventured means nothing gained.

Always use these three great words in your life: love, kindness and sincerity.

Patience, perseverance, calm, endurance—these are words that can solve most problems.

Never talk about your pills and sickness or trouble. Everyone has enough troubles of their own. Bring happy thoughts.

Negative, hate, revenge are words that must be kept out of your life.

Never say to anyone, “You always do that” meaning something that they may have done before.

Have you ever noticed when someone says “I don’t mean to upset you,” they always do?

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

Chapter 3 Talking about Dad

Carolyn Ann Collins Webb: Dad has many traits. No way can I name them all, but I will attempt to expand on some of my favorites.

Hardworking: Dad has always worked long and hard. At eighty nine, pushing ninety, he still keeps very busy. Using any piece of lumber he may have, he builds shelves for his garage and birdhouses for everyone. In the early morning or late afternoon, I might see Dad on his riding mower keeping his lawn looking nice. He will attempt most anything and usually succeeds at anything he attempts.

Generous: When Dad had his Big Star Supermarket, customers short of money could charge their purchases and pay later and sometimes never. I remember a Christmas when a neighbor did not have much. We filled a basket full of groceries from the store and put it on their front porch. There were many other acts of generosity—and we do remember!

Optimistic: Dad never sees a glass as half empty, not even half full. Most of the time he sees it as completely full. This optimism is a trait he has shown us always. Pass it on!

Dad once said, “Carolyn, look at the beautiful scenery,” and I said, “I can’t see the scenery for the trees.” Now I know the beautiful scenery was Dad driving the car.

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Artistic: I can’t remember seeing this but I do remember hearing the story about the polka dots you painted on my high chair. Give Dad a brush and a can of paint and he will transform anything.

Mischievous: He painting the eyes white, on the ornamental deer, in the yard just to see if we would notice, and we do!!

Fisherman: Yes, we have been on a lot of fishing trips. There have been “itsy-bitsy” boats, trolling boats, ski boats and deep sea fishing boats. And of course always expect the unexpected on Dad’s fishing trips. We have lost motors in the lake, rod and reels, and most always the stringer of fish--and even Uncle Jimmy’s teeth. I always thought losing the stringer of fish was just your way of not having to clean them. We have caught every kind of fish, from alligator gar (the size of a full grown alligator) to a barracuda. We did not know what kind of fish the barracuda was at the time. Dad gently put it in the laundry sink and covered it with water so it would not die. This was Aunt Liz’s house and her sink--so maybe she should tell this story,. But after the shock we had a really good laugh on Dad. There are dozens more fishing stories; they were all fun and sometimes just funny.

Athletic: Dad is sometimes athletic. Always ready for a challenge. I remember him trying to learn to ski at Sardis Lake. The water level dropped at least a foot that day, but you kept trying.

Vacation Guide: I have many fond memories of our vacations and impromptu trips. Dad once said, “Carolyn, look at the beautiful scenery,” and I said, “I can’t see the scenery for the trees.” Now I know the beautiful scenery was Dad driving the car.

Marion Thomas (Tom) Collins, Jr.: My earliest memory was the house I was born in on Ellsworth Street in the Normal neighborhood of Memphis, Tennessee, close to Memphis State University. After the second grade, we moved to Wellington Street in south Memphis. Dad had rented an old storefront on Latham Street while he built his own store a block away. The new store was the Marion Collin’s Super Market and it was the biggest 30

Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

store that I had ever seen at the time. By today’s standards, it would be a small. It was the time before credit cards, and the neighborhood was a poor one. Customers could purchase their groceries on credit.

The store kept a small account book for each customer where purchases and payments were posted by the cashier. Eventually the credit program was discontinued. I never asked, but my guess is that a lot of those accounts were never collected. Dad’s belief in the goodness of everyone was also evidenced by the Faith Loan Fund. Dad but money inside the drawer of a small counter near the front door of the store.

If a customer needed money, he or she could take it out of the box and put an IOU in its place. When they could, they paid the fund back, perhaps adding a little extra. I recall that the local paper, the Commercial Appeal, ran a story about the Fund. Once the story was published, the Fund was always empty and that ended this particular experiment of Dad’s in the universal goodness of mankind.

I have a few memories of Dad on Ellsworth. Dad worked from sunup well past sundown, including Saturdays; and if he was home on Sundays, he was often resting from the week on the job. I remember sitting on the back steps of our house on Ellsworth one summer night when Dad brought a new candy bar home from the store— a Mounds bar. It was the best thing I had ever tasted, and to this day I am a coconut freak. I remember the doghouse Dad built with a light in it to keep our two puppies, Salt and Pepper, warm. Unfortunately the light shorted out, and the doghouse burned down.

I remember a lot more of Dad after we moved from Ellsworth to Wellington Street. The school, A. B. Hill, was directly across the street from Dad’s new store; so even in the third grade, I would go to the store during lunchtime and “help out”. My favorite job was stocking the cigarette rack above the register. I would pocket a pack and take it back to school. Even in the third grade, we were experimenting with smoking.

It was a tough neighborhood. Boys got into fights daily. The school had more than its share of bullies and not being a native son of that south Memphis neighborhood, I had to deal with more than my share of them. After losing several fights, Dad taught me some tricks 31

for handling an attacker. Sure enough, and for no apparent reason, one of the bullies came up from behind and locked his arm around my neck. I placed my hands on his arm that was around my neck and fell forward on my knees while at the same time pulling on his arm.

He fell over my head and landed on his back on the concrete floor.

Strangely enough, I’m the one who got in trouble at school, but I didn’t care. I had just whipped by first bully!

Fighting was the favorite sport of the neighborhood boys. When I went home with a bloody nose one day, Dad wanted to know if I had won the fight or lost.

My memories of our trips I had lost. Dad told me the next time I got in a fight to Florida are of packing not to think or even look, the family station wagon “just start swinging and with enough food to live throwing punches as fast for a month! We would you can.” The next day I got hardly be out of Memphis into a fight with a boy and city limits before we found took Dad’s advice. When I a spot for a roadside picnic. finally stopped swinging, poor guy had blood all The drives and the picnics the over his face and was cryseem to me to have been ing his heart out. Unfortuthe most important part of nately, I was at a Cub Scout meeting, and the boy I had the trips. just beaten up was the son of the woman pack leader. So again, while I didn’t start the fight, I was the one who got in trouble. I didn’t care. With Dad’s help, I had just whipped my second bully.

It wasn’t long before I started working with Dad in the grocery store after school, on the weekends and during the summer. One of my jobs was mixing the ground beef early in the morning. You did the job inside the walk-in cooler where all the meat was kept other than that in the display cases. I was the boss’s son so I think I was held to a higher standard than anyone else--but I also suspect if I hadn’t been the boss’s son, I might have been fired. Dad never liked it when he found me just standing around. His instruction was simple. “You 32

Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

can always find something to do and if you really, really, really can’t, then run around in circles but at least look busy.” While he was a tough boss, I learned to work, and I learned to work hard. That lesson is largely accountable for the success I have enjoyed in my subsequent business life.

My memory of vacations is that we did one of two versions. We went to the White River in Arkansas where we visited with some of my mother’s folks or to Florida where we visited with Dad’s brother, Uncle George, or his sister, Elizabeth. We never ate the meat at Uncle George’s because to Mom and Dad’s standards, it was always raw. My memories of our trips to Florida are of packing the family station wagon with enough food to live for a month! We would hardly be out of Memphis city limits before we found a spot for a roadside picnic.

The drives and the picnics seem to me to have been the most important part of the trips.

There is one little part of Dad’s character that he omitted from his remembered sayings. Dad is not beyond telling little white lies. When it comes to around-the-house life, I used to say that Dad’s motto was “Why tell the truth when a lie will work just as well?”. Dad is one of the most honest people I know when it comes to money or important things, but let him break something or accidently run the lawn mower over Mother’s flowers, and a different standard of honesty is called for. Questions like “Who spilled something on the carpet?” or “Who broke my favorite vase?” were likely to be answered with an “I’m innocent” protest from Dad. He certainly would never voluntarily confess, and his conscience would not keep him from blaming 33

the dog, the next-door neighbor or simply saying he had no idea how that happened! He once told me the story of what he did as a teenager when he had stayed out until the early morning hours. As Dad told it, he took off his shirt, hid it under a bush, grabbed the newspaper and went into the house as if he had just gone outside to get the paper.

So to his “Do good and help others,” we must add, “Be honest in all things that matter but a little white lie to stay out of trouble on the home front is perfectly all right!”

Michael Edward Collins: As I re-read my dad’s book of sayings, I reflect on my years at home remembering what I saw, heard, learned, and am still learning.

It’s teamwork: mother, father, son, daughter, friends, faith; and yes, even enemies and strangers, and most importantly that person in the mirror—you. It can’t happen unless you do something, anything.

It takes a lifetime to It also can’t happen without othlearn that; Dad did, It will not happen if you are and by sharing, he has ers. alone. You are you and that apmade it easier for all of plies to everyone you encounter us to learn and in order in life. They are real people just to teach others. like you; they are not simply actors or extras playing a role in your life. Sometimes it happens to you, sometimes to others, but always to everyone—sometime. It takes a lifetime to learn that; Dad did, and by sharing, he has made it easier for all of us to learn and in order to teach others.

Editor’s note: The impetus for Dad’s book came from Mike and his wife Marva. They were the family members who first recognized the importance of putting Dad’s remembrances in a form that could be shared with others. They talked Dad into letting go of his green notebook so that we could start the book project. Today, Mike safeguards Dad’s original notebook of handwritten entries. He had the pages scanned for use in compiling this edited edition of Dad’s remembered sayings and life lessons.

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

John Steven Collins: Dad is with me this morning.

There is a lot to accomplish today. I pour the coffee that Gail made for us and stare out the kitchen window. The phone rings. “Please hold for the Chancellor.” “Good morning counselor. There is no need for you to come to court for the hearing in Shepherd v. Mercedes.

The Judicial Conference is next week at Montgomery Bell State Park and my docket is light today, so I am rescheduling those hearings so I can leave early.” I have received a reprieve. This Friday will not be so busy as I thought. I am reminded of some recent readings. Chaucer’s Sergeant of the Law comes to mind: “The Sergeant of the Law always seems so busy but he’s not so busy as he seems.”

I take my coffee and the telephone and walk out to admire the backyard. This spring’s attempt to grow grass probably gets a “C-,” better than some past years but definitely not as good as 1986, the year that Gail and I moved into this house. I remember it like it was yesterday….

1986 is Dad’s 68th year. I wake up and stumble to get my cup of coffee before going to my brand new job as a lawyer, having been licensed for all of about 45 days. Dad is up and dressed in his blue jumpsuit. Dad is grinning from ear-to-ear. He likes to rise early. There are boxes everywhere. There are appliances just barely inside the four walls of the house and some in the driveway. Gail and I are past the buyers’ initial infatuation, and it is now clear just how much work and repair has to be done. I have a little bit of a head start. My good friend from law school, Dirk Wedington, and I splashed a coat of paint on two of the eight rooms of this old house the weekend after closing.

Today is Friday, so I will be able to accomplish a lot of the moving in over the weekend, and Dirk has agreed to help some more.

What happened at the law office Friday, I don’t remember. I drive back home Friday afternoon and Dad is finished painting the other six rooms of the house. And he is happy about it. He has accomplished more on this one day than I have since we closed on the house, probably two weeks ago. Everyday is a good day to Dad. 35

Saturday dawns and there are more hands to work today. It is apparent, however, which pair of hands is dominant and leading.

By day’s end the three 20 to 30-somethings, Gail, me and Dirk, are grimed from head to toe and exhausted by every measure. We quit and start deciding where we are going to get carry-out for supper.

Dad is still at work. The backyard looks great; the leaves of last fall are raked, the long neglected flower beds are weeded and cultivated, and their stone borders put neatly and securely back in place. Dad is outside ripping up indoor/outdoor carpet off of the back patio. I cringe.

No one knows what is underneath the carpet, and I am deathly afraid of the ultimate result and what I will have to spend to replace the covering. The optimist is right again. That ratty old indoor/outdoor carpeting was covering about 400 square feet of a mosaic of green and pink Tennessee marble. Dad has unearthed one of the greatest treasures of this old house.

Gail and I spread out the feast that Dirk has brought back from The Happy Palace on Chapman Highway—authentic Chinese food before the era of the dreaded “all you can eat” buffet. It is good and Dad says so, but he does note that it is clear the restaurateur has prepared the meal so to fill us up on rice, and he notes that a piece of cornbread would be good with the meal.

Back to the present. It is a Friday in the spring of 2008, not Friday in the winter of 1986. Now, what did the Chancellor say? Well, no matter what he said, I know I am going to agree to it. As Khrushchev said, “When Stalin says dance, a wise man dances.” The delay gives me a little breathing room this morning and that is good. If law and courts really pushed litigants and forced a majority of conflict resolutions in actual trials, we would have a real mess. It is probably better to have delays that ultimately cause the parties to work out an agreement of their own. Don’t tell anybody I said so, but court is the worst place to “solve” a problem.

And now I have time to walk out in the backyard and admire some of mine and Gail’s gardening work. As I was about to note before I digressed, the back of our lot is on the south side of a ridge with only the thinnest layer of topsoil. The ridge has been occupied 36

Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

for at least 70 years with red oak, eastern hemlock, catawba rhododendron, mountain laurel and dogwoods. The soil is rocky, iron rich and highly acidic. Once again this year we have sown grass seed on our small part of the ridge, and we have patches of green grass. Why on earth do I get so much enjoyment out of walking out each morning to see what tiny bit of grass has grown or to see that the native perennials we have planted are taking hold? The perennials, if not the grass, love the acidic soil and thrive in the oak and hemlock shaded flower beds reclaimed twenty-two years ago. We have yellow trillium, wild iris, Christmas ferns, columbine, mountain wood sorrel, spotted wintergreen, toothwort, lily of the valley and fire pink. As I survey the .89 acre Knoxville Collins’ family estate, I know where I got my appreciation for the unparalleled beauty of nature.

It is summertime in the 1960s and I am surveying the probably .50 acre Collins’ family estate on 1290 Randall Drive in Memphis, Tennessee. Though Memphis is flat, I am also standing on a ridge of sorts, a hill with a declivity of maybe two feet. This soil is fertile, sun drenched and sweet, not acidic. No one has even heard of “Greens” unless you are talking about turnip greens. Even so, Dad’s most recent experiment in conservation and horticulture is an unqualified success. He has created a no-till, no soil erosion, less water, less fertilizer garden. Early in the spring he cut the grass low, lightly fertilized, mulched and then put down a landscaping cover. A few weeks ago, we took scissors and pocketknives and cut little holes in the cover and then used hand tools to plant vegetables, both seed and plant stock.

This is Memphis, and it is hot and humid and the growing season long. Our plantings grow an inch a day. The vegetables that will come from this garden will be more than we can possibly eat. Dad knows that. The vegetables from that garden will be prepared and eaten at large extended family dinners, and family members will take home green beans and tomatoes and peppers and squash and cucumbers by the grocery sack full—paper sacks, not plastic. Dad gives vegetables to the neighbors, and he has grown enough for the birds and the squirrels, too. When that landscape cover went down, the area at the foot of Collins’ hill was a barren swatch of black plastic, but now it is a thing of beauty. All the skeptics, and there were many, are silenced.

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Dad just smiles. The one phrase that never crosses his lips, never has and never will, is “I told you so.” He showed us so.

“You’re right. Yes.” The Chancellor is still talking and I am feigning active listening. He is a nice man and a good Chancellor, but clearly he is a bit lonely. I remember he likes to hike and fish. Say something about hiking and fishing so he’ll think you’re listening. I do. The Chancellor says that George, a common acquaintance, has taken up fly fishing. George, too, is a great guy, but he tends to go a little overboard on things. The Chancellor tells me about a trip where he took George to Elkmont in the Smoky Mountains to fish the Little River near its junction with Jakes Creek.

The Chancellor says that George had his brand new multi-hundred dollar Orvis fly rod and, believe it or not, was wearing a sport coat and was smoking a pipe. The Chancellor was fishing with his old Sears Diawi-knockoff spincasting rod and a crappie jig with a spinner blade put on it, and he caught a nice rainbow trout. As he was walking up the bank carrying the trout, he caught George’s eye. The Chancellor knew he had only one chance to get back in his spot on the bank and catch another fish before George invaded the fishing hole. Naturally, George says, “Where’d you get that fish?” The Chancellor says, “George, go over there underneath that sycamore tree on the north side of the river, and you’ll catch a fish.”

The Chancellor laughs and says George had no idea which side of the bank was north or south, and he wouldn’t know a sycamore from a sassafras. We both agree that even so, George is a great fellow and a great friend and then the Chancellor says, “You know that reminds me of the saying ‘the older we get the more like ourselves we are.’” Finally the call ends. I think about the saying the Chancellor mentioned. I had not heard that one before and I assumed it was original material, or at least a first generation modification of a Yogi Berra-ism and perhaps a variation on the saying I remember and that is, “The older we get, the more like our parents we are.”

With the hearing canceled, the morning is not quite as busy as I had imagined. I am driving to work, and I look down and notice that the gauge on my Mitsubishi is reading “E.” I drive right past a 38

Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

gas station on my right-hand side. The sign says “$3.33-9/10 per gallon.” I drive two miles farther up the road past my interstate entrance ramp to another station where the sign says “3.31-9/10 per gallon.” I fill up. I put 14 gallons of gas Dad is a teacher. He does in the tank, work the math in not lecture, give speeches my head and note that I have or issue instructions. He saved $.02 per gallon or $.28. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but if I teaches by example. save that $.28 every week, then when I am 90, I will have saved $564.20, folding money. Ben Franklin, I think it is: “Watch the pennies and the dollars will take care of themselves.” Where did I learn that? I never knew Ben Franklin.

Dad is a teacher. He does not lecture, give speeches or issue instructions. He teaches by example. Within reason, Gail and I can have just about anything we want. Some years, self-employment as a lawyer can be very good and other years – well, suffice it to say, that with self-employment the graphing of income does not result in a straight, upwardly slanted line every year. But for some time now, Gail and I have saved a couple of pennies here and there, thought about what we needed as opposed to what we thought we wanted, and made the little extra effort to find the best buy instead of succumbing to the impulse buy. It makes a difference.

I am driving to work and thinking about my next event. I am going to meet with a person who could have come straight from central casting to play Snidely Whiplash. This churl is just the opposite of Dad. He is unhappy, coarse, profane, rude, ill-tempered and illinformed. The work of a lawyer is not unlike the work of any man or woman. Most people I deal with are truly “salt of the earth.” There are exceptions, and I must deal with one today. I know that everyone is entitled to their opinion, and the individual with whom I will meet frequently offers his completely unconstrained by the facts or any sense of decorum. I think to myself, I know we are all entitled to our opinions, but we are not entitled to our own facts. I know some academic or politician said that, but I have heard it better said and, more importantly, better illustrated somewhere before. Where?

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At any rate, with Snidely I am long past the best short list of initial methods of human persuasion. I know in this meeting I will be drawing upon my other parental unit, “Mother Alice.” I know my big brother, Tom, will shudder when he reads this sentence, but 2008 still has the possibility of being the year in which the first woman is elected President. I know the woman who would make the best President and that is Mom. I often think of her in Presidential terms. She, Dad and I all love history. I think one of Mom’s favorite Presidents is Harry Truman. I have heard her talk about plainspoken “Give ‘Em Hell Harry.” I think had I known President Truman, I probably would have liked him very much and thought that he was very much like Mom. I also take her with me to the meeting.

I knock on the conference room door twice, solidly, and walk in.

Mom and Dad are with me, one on each shoulder. The unintended symbolism is clear to all readers and I will not be quoted on which role each parent plays. Dad whispers into my ear, “Kill him with kindness.” Dad, you’re always right, but in this instance I can only agree that you are half right. I pause to think; I wonder if I could get away with it. After all, I would be just one of a cast of a thousand suspects.

Wait, Johnny Cochran is dead; I could never re-assemble the Dream Team. I better not. Mother Alice whispers, “You’ve tried everything you know how, so now’s the time to remember that if you don’t lay down, nobody can walk on you.” Cock, cock, aim, squeeze, Boom!

Both barrels right between the eyes, figuratively speaking of course.

Mom concludes the meeting for me, “Steve, sometimes you have to be tough and speak the unvarnished truth, even if they think it’s hell.”

With Snidely now silenced, it is time to move to other matters.

Near the top of the agenda today are Rule 26(a) “Required Disclosures” for a Federal Court diversity jurisdiction, truck wreck case pending in Chattanooga. If having your teeth drilled comes to mind, then you know what is more fun than preparing Rule 26(a) pre-trial disclosures. Also, in this particular case, I am working with “corporate in-house counsel.” Among other things, corporate in-house counsel require lawyers of more than 20 years experience to send the most pro forma of legal work to them for “approval and editing.” Don’t get me wrong, none of my best friends are corporate counsel. “Ap40

Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

proval and edit” is akin to you handing a person a fifty-cent piece and then he or she “improving” on it by returning to you a quarter, two dimes and a nickel and saying, “Now, isn’t that much better?” Rule 26(a) is also another example of our government helping us all in life since clearly we are incapable of managing our own affairs. Rule 26(a) requires one side in a lawsuit to tell the other side “in advance” everything that it will use against the other party and everything the other party could use against it. Simply put, Rule 26(a) takes all the fun out of litigation. This, of course, is a good reason to put off doing the chore.

I know; I’ll check my voice mails. “You have one new message.”

The message is: [very deep, imposing voice] “This is Tom, your big brother. I still don’t have your piece on Dad. You’re the last one. You’re holding things up. I’m desperate. Please call me. My office number is …. My cell phone number is ….’” Whew, at least I was in a mediation and had my phone turned off when that call came in yesterday.

The voice mail is intimidating enough, but imagine if I’d actually had to talk to him. It is afternoon now, so I bet if I call him back now he won’t be there, he’ll be out playing golf. I make a call to Tom’s house.

Thank goodness Martha answers. Indeed, he is playing golf with Lee Ann, of Juris days, and is no doubt losing money.

Okay, dodged that bullet. I can “brainstorm” for a few more days.

We lawyers do that a lot. Some people call it “delay” or “procrastination.” What do they know? Curses, foiled again! Deb Schwitters, the brains of this law firm outfit and the paralegal and legal assistant with whom I have worked for years, is standing in my doorway giving me “the look.” Tom has gone above me on the chain of command. He left Deb a voice mail, too. Deb scolds me and says she knows my big brother has been trying to get in touch with me for several days. He has told her that he needs my contribution for Dad’s book “ASAP.” Deb says Tom is desperate and that I should be ashamed for not having gotten the piece written. She tells me Tom said that he would pay me my hourly rate if necessary and that I could even call him and dictate my contribution to him. I pause and think about the “hourly rate” part of the message. The smile on my face betrays my thoughts – or – can she really read minds? The look intensifies. Deb 41

says, “Don’t even think about it, chump. If you try to charge your brother an hourly rate for this work, I’ll tell him what you’re really worth, then you can collect your hourly rate—but remember zero times any number is still zero. Now get to work.”

So much for lunch. I’m stuck. This has to be done. I’m 51 years old. How in the world can I write anything sensible about a father/ son relationship spanning half a century. Memories and lessons are flooding back to me. I think and remember just like it were here and now; to-wit: Mom and Dad will have been married 71 years this June 25. They are inseparably connected to one another, and they are as much a part of me as if they were my arms and legs.

Dad is a self-made man. He’s the best man I know. He’s the best educated man I know and he is all self-educated. All his encouragement of me, support of me and teaching of me is what prefigures whatever modicum of success I may enjoy now 51 years later. Dad is a lifetime learner. He loves learning. He shows other people by example the benefits of having love of learning. He is a great teacher. The best kind of teacher. A teacher by example.

Dad works harder and accomplishes more than any person I know.

Dad is an historian. With Dad, the past is never forgotten. His stories and sayings and parables have given us all a connection with our past and an informed esteem for that past and for our ancestors.

Words matter. Yeah, he said that long before Hillary and Obama fought about it.

Dad learns from his mistakes. Better still, he will share that learning with you so that you don’t have to make the same mistake he did.

Dad’s life includes being the best meat market manager that Kroger ever had. As a result, he was sent to troubled stores to rehabilitate them. He always did just that and in short order. But I remember him 42

Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

telling me about going into a troubled store and beginning apace to correct all the inefficiencies and to make a success of the store. He met resistance. The status quo can be entrenched anywhere. It did not take him long to realize that he would have to slow the pace of change in order to accommodate the ever-present human dynamic.

You can’t walk into a place and tell people you are going to immediately change everything they have known about how to do their work. Accomplishment takes time and patience. Try to convince your family that top sirloin on sale, flank steak or London broil are really better than tenderloin.

If you smile, people will smile back at you.

God gave us all free will. That doesn’t mean you get everything you want. What it does mean, though, is you always have the freedom to decide how you will behave in any set of circumstances and even under the most adverse conditions.

Read, read, read. Not all readers are leaders but all leaders are readers.

Never jeer at the past or the present. I love history. That is another gift Dad gave me. I marvel when I hear people say that these times are not like “the good old days” and that the “world is going to hell in a handbasket.” Calmly and with good grace and deftly, Dad will then launch into a story about the past. He is well informed. He has his facts straight. There are good things everywhere, past, present and future, if you will only just see them. History, like life, has had its ups and downs, but times now are no worse than they’ve ever been and in many ways are better, and that’s a good thing to know. Dad knows it and he teaches it.

Living memories provide an arc of connectedness for all of us to our pasts. Edmund Burke said, “People will not look forward to posterity who never look backward to their ancestors.” Does Dad read Burke? I don’t know. I know he didn’t have to. He intuitively knows what Burke wrote.

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A cook is better than a chef. “You have to break some eggs to make an omelet.” Some of Dad’s cooking projects fail. There is no need to ask him for his recipe for ham spaghetti or chili tuna. Trust me on that. On the other hand, be sure and have him teach you how to make chicken salad, potato salad, potato soup, coleslaw, baked ham, barbecue picnic shoulders and, yes, beefsteak with barbecue sauce cooked on a WWII field stove.

With frequency, I think about going fishing. I have even taken that hobby back up again. Only yesterday I was in Eudora, Mississippi, fishing on Lake of the Hills and Woodland Lake. We are in Dad’s fishing boat. It is fall. The hardwoods are in full color and it’s as if Dad and I are inside an impressionistic painting. We are floating on top of the trees, the reflection gleaming back at us from the emerald green water of the artesian well-fed lakes. Dad doesn’t need a multihundred dollar Orvis fly rod to catch fish. He approaches fishing like Ted Williams approached hitting, “See ball, hit ball.” With regard to fishing, Dad’s prime directive is go often. That is a good rule. If you go often, eventually the odds and the fishing gods favor you. Dad on fishing: “Find hungry fish, put bait in water, catch fish.”

I also remember a morning before I was even a teenager. It is cold.

We are speeding down Lake View just across the Tennessee border into Mississippi in a V-bottom boat. It is an oxbow lake. There are cypress trees everywhere. There are thousands of waterfowl. Uncle Mac is with us. We stop as the sun rises. It is getting warm fast. The cane poles come out. Uncle Mac and Dad have rigged them all the night before for trolling for crappie with live minnows. We start down the middle of the lake slow and steady. Pole after pole bends down then goes up and then down again. We pull in gigantic black crappie and fill an ice chest full of them. We go back to the Collins estate on 1290 Randall and Dad and Uncle Mac filet the fish with electric knives, and then Mom fries them with a breading of cornmeal and a tad of flour.

The fish drain on brown paper grocery bags. What a feast! The whole family is there, the Collins, the Welches, the Webbs, the McGoverns, the Bartletts. People eat and laugh and talk and children play. It’s idyllic.

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

I am at Aunt Lucy’s and Uncle Bumpus’ in Savannah, Tennessee. Dad, Glenn, Uncle Bumpus and I have gone squirrel hunting.

We killed some squirrels. It seemed like a good idea at the time. We are back at the farm with Bumpus, and he is sitting on a rusty bucket turned upside down cutting up squirrels with a rusty knife. Their bloody, skinned carcasses tumble into another rusty bucket. Flies buzz everywhere. Dad mentions that he really likes target shooting and just hiking through the woods and fields better than hunting.

I agree. We go target shooting in the future, but we don’t hunt anymore. Neither one of us really want to. There’s no reason to kill the animals; we’ll just admire them. Target shooting and hiking without the hunting part is fun. I still do it to this day.

I am all thumbs. There is no hope for me in being able to build anything or fix anything. But wait, I remember back to the early 1980s.

Dad has just retired. Dad goes to the library and borrows a Time-Life book on how to construct a building. Low and behold—from top to bottom and with electricity—he builds a marvelous shed on the back .25 of the Collins estate on 1290 Randall Drive.

I have met the love of my life. Gail and I are newly married, and we are back in Memphis. She has already become part of the family.

Dad needs to take her fishing—rites of Collins’ family passage and all. We go. We are on the levee at Lake of the Hills, a great spot for catfish. Dad throws the bait, chicken liver, out into one of the deepest parts of the artesian well-fed lake. We probably wouldn’t have known what to call it, but he’s actually using a technique that I see used later in life on a deep sea fishing trip with professional guides, a downrigger. It works really well. Mother Alice is with us. She wants a simpler approach. Mom is using her famous long fiberglass telescopic green cane pole-like rig. She can’t abide by chicken livers. They are messy and smell. I can’t remember for sure, but she is using either a cricket or a minnow with a large round red and white bobber. She directs Gail to turn around from the open deep water part of the lake and instead to look across the road that runs on top of the levee. On the other side there is some water that overflows from the lake, commonly referred to as a slough. There is a small wire fence separating the road shoulder from the slough. Mom directs Gail to drop the bait 45

right over that fence and into some dark water that one would think would only contain mosquito larvae and maybe a toad frog. As soon as the bait hits the water, the line tightens and the float moves out at a right angle from the tip of the pole and disappears in the inky water. Quite a commotion follows. When all is over, all five feet of Gail is holding Mom’s pole with an 11-pound catfish on the end of the line and safely on the bank. Mom and I have a little sport with Dad and his high tech rigs. All he does is grin. He could not be happier.

His new daughter-in-law has now been fully integrated into the family and initiated in catfishing. Among other things, Dad is a teacher of sportsmanship. Catching fish makes him happy. One thing makes him happier, for someone else to catch a fish.

It’s a warm summer day and I am very young, in grade school I think. We are at Tunica, Mississippi. No, we’re not gambling. Back in the mid-60s, Tunica was famous only for fishing. The town is on the banks of Horseshoe Lake formed from the Mississippi River. To get to “Tunica Cut Off” we drive down U. S. Highway 61 past cotton fields and sharecropper shacks and as we near the entrance to the fish camp, we drive underneath a long arc of gigantic oak trees on both sides of the road that made the passage like a tunnel. We walk onto the pier with our rods and reels and slip floats and crickets. Hours later we strain to carry the ice chest full of gigantic shell cracker brim.

I am so excited that the memory will never leave me. Periodically, I still dream about those fishing trips to Tunica and in my dreams I see those bobbers hit the water, bob up and down and then sink under the surface with the pull of a hard-fighting fish. This was all long, long before Tunica became synonymous only with casinos and gambling.

We are at Greers Ferry Lake in the Ozark Mountains. This is the clearest water I’ve ever seen. These are the first mountains I have ever seen. We have swimming goggles and fins and we are in the water.

Dad has found a boat ramp near an island which provides easy and safe access to the deep water. We are snorkeling around the island and are swimming down and among all the rock formations. There are fish everywhere—bluegill, bass, crappie. I’m swimming with them.

It’s a brand new world. To this day, I still snorkel and love to swim.

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

I am at the Whitehaven community swimming pool. Dad pushes off the wall in the three foot end and swims the full length of that Olympic pool and to the five foot end that forms the long base of the “L” of the pool adjacent to the diving area. He doesn’t surface; he turns around and swims back. Dad is a powerful swimmer. He teaches me to swim not only on top of the water but beneath the water, and now 51 years later I still benefit from that teaching.

It’s Christmastime. We are at Carolyn and Bobby’s on Christmas Eve. What a great time. People from all branches of the family are together, and nieces and nephews and cousins are playing and laughing together. Now we drive home but not before Dad, Mom, Mike and I detour through the different Whitehaven neighborhoods with their Christmas lights blazing and with each road given a specific name and a decoration theme such as “Rudolph Run” or “Candy Cane Lane.” We are home now. We are sitting in the living room and the tree is glistening. The lights are off except for the Christmas lights.

The house is clean and is immaculate. It always is. It is time to put on music, Christmas music. We listen to old Sun 45 rpm records. Elvis is with us. We are listening to “Blue Christmas” and “Santa Bring My Baby Back.” Tom, you made great acquisitions. Though they may not have been appreciated at the moment of purchase, I can assure you that many years later and for many years, they were enjoyed by all, including your Dad. Dad is sitting in his chair. It is very early in the morning. At about 5:00 a.m. he was up and out doing some chores and bringing in the newspaper for him and Mom to read while having their coffee. He is telling me about the Yellow Fever epidemic in Memphis of 1878.

Dad tells me stories about the Choctaw Indians at Chuckalisa and how Indians even inhabited the area around Raines Road and Mill Branch Road, just blocks from our home and not so long ago as I might imagine. He tells me about being a child my age and listening to veterans of the American Civil War talk about the “War Between the States.” He makes the history come alive. I want to know more about history. I want to read. Is he finding all of that in those books?

I thought history was just about dates and memorizing things; but he is telling me what the Rebel and Yankee soldiers ate when they 47

were fighting, and how, no matter what the Generals said, sometimes they’d call a truce among themselves and the Confederates would trade salt bacon for northern coffee and then go back to fighting after a peaceful breakfast. He is telling me about Vicksburg when he was a child and the history of the siege of Vicksburg and Grant floating his Army down the Mississippi and unexpectedly attacking the town from the rear. The fighting must have been ferocious because when Dad was young when they plowed the fields they were still plowing up bucketfuls of artifacts from the battle. The mini balls which would be so treasured now were so abundant then, that they cut them up and used them for fishing lead.

I am sure that Dad is right now reading some history or is out on his current estate on Walnut Bend in Cordova, Tennessee. It is a beautiful place. It is Mom’s and Dad’s home. Dad is probably also out checking the growth from the night before of his most recent plantings.

I read in this book that the compilation of Charles Collins concerning the descendants of John Collins demonstrates that “our family now contains over 7,500 persons.” Sometime I will have to sit down and calculate how much of that line can directly trace itself from Marion and Alice Collins. I don’t know the number, but I’ll try to calculate it some day. What I do know is that whatever that number is, each and every one of those persons has been deeply touched and positively influenced by Mom and Dad and that their worlds are better because of that ancestral connection.

It is time to pack the briefcase and drive home. I arrive in the driveway and try to discern whether the grass has grown any more since this morning. I walk around the yard and make mental notes of the work I want to do tomorrow. Planning what to do is part of the fun of doing it. In fact, tonight after supper, I think I’ll sit down with my spiral notebook and make a list of things that I want to do in the yard tomorrow and maybe jot down some other thoughts that come to mind. I really derive a great deal of pleasure from writing in that notebook. I wonder where I get that?

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

The one thing I have never really known Dad to read is poetry.

No reason in particular he should. As one can see from Dad’s writings in this book, he is poetic. The writings, sayings and parables of his grandfather, James Wesley Collins, certainly are poetic. I particularly love one of Dad’s favorite sayings of his grandfather, “Teach your children and you also teach your grandchildren.” I think I get it. I think I’ve heard it before. Dad and his grandfather are in good poetic company. In his “Four Quartets,” T. S. Eliot said: Time present and time past Are both perhaps present in time future, And time future contained in time past.

This Friday is drawing nigh. It’s time for bed. I have a habit of waking up at dawn. I like to get up early so I can enjoy every new day to the fullest extent. Thanks, Dad.

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Chapter 4 Lineage of Marion Thomas Collins

F

or years the immediate family of Marion Thomas Collins thought they were of Irish descent. As Marion used to tell it, the Collins clan was marched to the border and told never to come back. As it turns out he was partially right. We did have to flee.

But it was from an English executioner’s axe. Our ancestors had been on the wrong side of the 1642 English civil war. They were Cavaliers, supporters of King Charles I. The Roundheads, supporters of Parliament, prevailed and Charles was executed in 1649. Our ancestors like many of Charles supporters ran for their lives and thus must be counted among those earlier settlers who gave birth to our nation.

As for how the Irish memory crept into our family history, one only has to look to the maternal side of the family after it left the English enclaves of Virginia. For example Marion’s great great grandmother was Mary Jane O’Bar. The Collins family history was researched and compiled by Charles R. Collins. Charles Richard (Dick) Collins was born March 1, 1929 in Paducah, KY. He married Billie Ruth McElroy November 5, 1949 in Corinth, Alcorn Co., MS., the daughter of Thomas McElroy and Ora Hall. She was born April 23, 1927 in McCracken Co., KY. Dick Collins and Marion Collins had the same great, great grandfather, James Monroe Collins. As of January, 2008 the Descendants of John Collins from 1559 to 2003 as compiled by Charles Collins was available over the internet at http://familytreemaker.genealogy.com/ users/c/o/l/Charles-R-Collins/PDFGENE6.pdf.

The lineage of Marion Collins as presented in this book was extracted from the Charles Collins report reference above. Taken together, the history of the Collins family is a colorful one that touched notable events and people in our countries history. In writing about his report, Charles Collins said the following. “Our family file now contains over 7,500 persons. All individuals in our file are related or 50

Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

connected by marriage. Some of the persons—and their ancestors, descendants, and marriages—that are included in the file are: Alben William Barkley (Truman’s Vice President), George Herbert Walker Bush (41st President), Daniel Dunklin (5th Governor of MO), Anne Fairfax (inherited Mount Vernon), George William Fairfax (taught George Washington how to survey), Robert Edward Lee (Commander-in-Chief of the Confederate Army), Fielding Lewis Sr. (married George Washington’s sister), John Lewis II (of Warner Hall fame), Meriwether Lewis (of Lewis & Clark fame), Thomas Walker (Governor of Nassau), Mildred Warner (George Washington’s grandmother), George Washington (father of our country), and George Wythe (his signature is first among the Virginia signatures on the Declaration of Independence).”

– Descendents of John Collins – John1 Collins was born 1569 in England, and died 1644 in Maidstone, Kent Co., England. King Charles I, by his letters patent dated February 27, 1631, granted John Collins the title Keeper of the Gaol (Prison) of Maidstone. In addition, this patent gave John the gaol house in Maidstone and custody of all its prisoners. This was a titled position of power and influence similar to that of High Sheriff in older times, and it could be passed on to heirs. John Collins died in 1644. By his will, he left his son John his title and the house and all the irons, implements, fees, appurtenances, and prisoners. Maidstone is about 35 miles South East of London in the direction of Dover.

John2 Collins (John1) was born in 1590 in Maidstone, Kent Co., England, and died July 15, 1686 in Essex Co., VA. In 1644, John inherited the title Keeper of the Gaol of Maidstone. He also inherited the gaol house and had charge of all its prisoners. John was a strong supporter of King Charles. After Parliament overthrew and executed Charles, he sought safety in Virginia. John Collins left England and came to Virginia sometime before October 2, 1655, when George Frizell and Thomas Moore received land for transporting him to Virginia. It would seem likely that John fled to America before, or soon after, the execution as payment for passage often occurred many years later.

John settled in Lawne’s Creek Parish, Surry Co., VA. This parish was 51

named for Christopher Lawne, who settled at the mouth of the creek in 1619.

William3 Collins (John2, John1) was born in 1615 in Maidstone, Kent Co., England, and died Bef. October 10, 1687 in Isle of Wight Co., VA. At age 20 he sailed for Virginia on the “Plain Joane”, Richard Buckam, Master. He departed London on May 15, 1635.

On the passenger list, there is another William Collins, age 34, who is believed to be his uncle. William named his first Son after his father John Collins.

John4 Collins (William3, John2, John1) was born 1642 in Isle of Wight Co., VA, and died there in January 16, 1693. He married Eleanor Oliver in 1665 the daughter of John Oliver. She was born July 2, 1648 in Isle of Wight Co., VA, and died December 10, 1694.

Joseph5 Collins, Sr. (John4, William3, John2, John1) was born 1668 in Courtland, Isle of Wight Co., VA, and died May 3, 1748 in King & Queen Co., VA. He married Catherine Robertson 1687 in King & Queen Co., VA, daughter of John Robertson and Ann Unknown. She was born 1670 in King & Queen Co., VA, and died May 3, 1728.

Captain Joseph6 Collins, Jr. (Joseph5, John4, William3, John2, John1) was born 1688 in Isle of Wight Co., VA, and died August 27, 1757 in St. George Parish, Spotsylvania Co., VA. He married Susanna Lewis Abt. 1709 in King & Queen Co., VA, daughter of Zachary Lewis and Mary Walker. She was born April 23, 1693 in Spotsylvania Co., VA, and died July 4, 1768 in St. George Parish, Spotsylvania Co., VA. Charles Collins, who research most of the family history reported here, wrote the following. “Family legend speaks of a Lewis connection to George Washington. Genealogy is not an exact science, but this is what I have found: Fielding Lewis, Sr. was Susanna’s 1st cousin once removed (Susanna was the 1st cousin of Fielding’s father, John Lewis). Susanna’s son John was Fielding’s 2nd cousin. Fielding married George Washington’s 1st cousin, Catherine Washington, on October 18, 1746 (OS). (George would have been 15 at the time.)

After Catherine’s death, Fielding married George Washington’s baby 52

Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

sister, Elizabeth “Betty” Washington, on May 7, 1750 (OS). (George would have been 19 at the time.) Susanna’s niece, Ann Lewis, daughter of Zachary Lewis Jr. (Susanna’s brother), married George Wythe.

George Wythe’s signature is first among the Virginia signatures on the Declaration of Independence. Meriwether Lewis, commander of the Lewis & Clark Expedition, was Susanna’s 1st cousin twice removed (Susanna was the 1st cousin of Meriwether’s grandfather, Robert Lewis). Anne Fairfax was Susanna’s 1st cousin. Anne inherited Mount Vernon in 1752. She leased it to George Washington until her death in 1761. George inherited it at that time.

John7 Collins, Sr. (Joseph6, Joseph5, John4, William3, John2, John1) was born 1710 in Essex or Spotsylvania Co., VA, and died December 8, 1793 in Jefferson Co., TN. He married (1) Susanna Cook 1728 in St. Thomas Parish, Orange Co., VA, daughter of Thomas Cook and Mary Smith. She was born 1711 in Spotsylvania Co., VA, and died 1746. He married (2) Ann Cook 1746 in St. Thomas Parish, Orange Co., VA, daughter of Thomas Cook and Mary Smith. She was born Abt. 1716 in Spotsylvania Co., VA, and died1803 in Jefferson Co., TN. John8 Collins, Jr. (John7, Joseph6, Joseph5, John4, William3, John2, John1) was born Abt. 1729 in Orange Co., VA, and died September 1797 in Jefferson Co., TN. He married (1) Unknown Abt. 1747. She was born Abt. 1730, and died 1775. He married (2) Catherine Unknown Abt. 1775. She was born 1758, and died 1797. Prior to April 1748, John Collins had settled on land in Shenandoah Co., VA (in the vicinity of present day Moorefield, Hardy Co., WV). Note: Moorefield, WV, is about 3-days journey (160 miles) from Orange Co., VA. In the Diary of George Washington, he stated that George William Fairfax and he had spent the night with John Collins in Shenandoah County on Saturday, April 9, 1748. Since Washington was born in 1731, he would have been 17-years old at the time. Fairfax was seven-years older than Washington. Washington was an apprentice surveyor in the company of about twenty experienced surveyors. Of this group only Fairfax and Washington stayed the night with John Collins (suggesting a family relationship). Fairfax was the 1st cousin of Susanna Lewis, grandmother of John Collins. Fairfax’s younger 53

sister, Anne, had married Lawrence Washington in 1743 (Lawrence was George Washington’s older half brother). John Collins’ father was a 2nd cousin of Fielding Lewis. Fielding had married into the Washington family two years earlier. Fielding, also seven-years older than Washington, owned about half of Fredericksburg, VA. Captain Francis T.9 Collins (John8, John7, Joseph6, Joseph5, John4, William3, John2, John 1) was born March11, 1791 in South Carolina and died May 6, 1844 in Stewart Co., TN. He married (1) Margaret Williams December 22, 1817 in Orange 22 March 31, 2003 Co., VA. Margaret was daughter of Jacob Williams and Unknown.

She was born 1793 in Orange Co., VA, and died November 2, 1825 in Jefferson Co., TN. He married (2) Alice Browne the mother of James Monroe Collins’ mother 1827 in Stewart Co., TN. She was born Abt. 1810 in TN, and died Abt. January 2, 1829 in Stewart Co., TN. He married (3) Annis Unknown Abt. 1829 in Stewart Co., TN. She was born April 17, 1808 in Robertson Co., TN. 1850 and died 1896 in Obion Co., TN. Alice Browne died giving birth to their first child, James Monroe Collins. James Monroe was born on January 2, 1829 in Dover, Stewart Co., TN. Shortly after Alice’s death, Francis married Annis (Anna). In effect, Anna became James Monroe’s mother since she raised him from infancy. During the War of 1812, Francis enlisted under Col. John Williams for the East Florida Campaign (December 1812 - March 1813). With a contingency of about 165 mounted men, Williams crossed the St. Mary’s River (the boundary between Georgia and Florida) and joined elements of the U.S. Army, led by Lieutenant Colonel J.A. Smith, and some Georgia volunteers in early February 1813. The expedition saw little action and garnered few results. Francis’ service ended in March 1813. Later, Francis, his brother Henry, and Andrew Gass were all in Major John Chiles’ Battalion of Mounted Gunmen of East TN Vol. Francis enlisted on September 20, 1814, and his service expired on May 1, 1815. Upon enlistment, Francis Collins was described as 22-years old, 5 feet 7 inches tall, with fair complexion, fair hair, and blue eyes. He was a Pvt. in Capt. Reuben Tipton’s Co. Francis served a total of 7 months and 10 days for pay of $8 per month. The amount of his pay was $59.20. He also received $0.40 per day for his horse bringing the total amount due to $148.80. On August 7, 1815, Francis was commissioned Captain of 54

Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

the 6th Regiment in Jefferson County, Tennessee. Francis Collins was one reported to have become the most noted Methodist evangelists in the south. It is said of him that in “one of his revival meetings such enthusiasm was manifested that there were in two weeks 845 conversions and 456 accessions to the church.”

James Monroe10 Collins (Francis T.9, John8, John7, Joseph6, Joseph5, John4, William3, John2, John1) was born January 2, 1829 in Dover, Stewart Co., TN and died, 1900. He married Mary Jane O’bar January 8, 1850 in Stewart Co., TN, daughter of William O’bar and Nancy Wilds. She was born November 23, 1828 in Dover, Stewart Co., TN, and died 1900. Based on census records, the family moved from Stewart Co., TN to Big Sandy, Benton Co., TN. after the 1860 census.

The family is registered in the census of 1870 and 1880 in Benton County. James Monroe Collins was a Trustee of the New Bethlehem Methodist Church in Benton County. Like his father James Monroe Collins was a Methodist minister.

James Wesley11 Collins (James Monroe10, Francis T.9, John8, John7, Joseph6, Joseph5, John4, William3, John2, John1) was born October 1854 in Stewart Co., TN, and died 1945. He married (1) Isabelle Elizabeth Greer October 15, 1874 in Benton Co., TN, daughter of Carroll Greer and Amanda Bain. She was born 1855 in Benton Co., TN, and died 1960 in Benton Co., TN. He married (2) Callie Pence 1890, daughter of Unknown Pence and Unknown. She was born January 1875 in Greenville, TN. He married (3) Mamie Elizabeth Lutz Bef. 1914. She died Abt. 1914 in Memphis, Shelby Co., TN. Buried at Elmwood Cemetery. He married (4) Mabel Heath sometime after 1916. She died in Nashville, Davidson Co., TN. Buried in Nashville.

James was a Methodist minister and evangelist. He preached for several years in Memphis, Tennessee.

Frank Monroe12 Collins (James Wesley11, James Monroe10, Francis T.9, John8, John7, Joseph6, Joseph5, John4, William3, John2, and John1) was born January 19, 1891 in Greenfield, TN., and died 1956 in Memphis, Shelby Co., TN. He is buried at Memorial Park Cemetery. He was the child of James Wesley and his second wife, Callie Pence He married Lottie Mae Wilson 1915 in Jackson, TN, daugh55

ter of Leander Wilson and Annie Drewery. She was born December 18, 1895 in Humboldt, TN, and died May 13, 1982 in Memphis, Shelby Co., TN. She is buried at Memorial Park Cemetery. Frank served with the militia at the Mexican border under Captain Arch Wells. After his military service Frank broke with the family ministry tradition and went into the grocery business in St. Louis, MO. The family later moved to Memphis TN., which had become the home of his father and his half brother, Grandville Collins. Frank Monroe continued to earn his living as a butcher and grocer and for most of his life in Memphis operated out of his horse and wagon. Later he owned and operated an open-air vegetable market.

Marion Thomas13 Collins, Sr. (Frank Monroe12, James Wesley11, James Monroe10, Francis T.9, John8, John7, Joseph6, Joseph5, John4, William3, John2, John1) was born June 6, 1918 in East St. Louis, IL. He married Alice Elsie Welch June 25, 1937 in Marion, AR. She was born August 22, 1919 in Windfield, LA. Like his father Marion Collins became a butcher and grocer. As age sixteen he became the youngest meat department manager for Kroger. Later he opened his own grocery store in South Memphis. Small independent grocery stores gave way to the large chain super markets in the 1950s and after closing his market Marion worked as meat department manager for several chains until retiring from Kroger.

Children of Marion Collins and Alice Welch are: 1. Carolyn Ann Collins Webb, born June 3, 1938.

2. Marion Thomas Collins, Jr., born May 23, 1941.

3. Michael Edward Collins, Sr., born July 7, 1950.

4. John Steven Collins, born September 13, 1956.

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

Chapter 5 Lineage of Alice Elsie Welch

D

uring his first 20 years, Marion Collins’ character was shaped by his father and grandfather who carried forward the genes of their ancestors. But the third influence, his wife Alice, had more than three times those first 20 years to do the final polishing. Since we are the product of generations, it is only appropriate that we also include in this book the lineage of Alice Elsie Welch.

– Descendents of John Welch – John1 Welch was born 1520 in Nithsdale (Dunscove) Dumfriesshire, Scotland. He died 5 August 1602 in Scotland. He was married to Marion Grier. John had a brother, Culhbert, and two sisters, Kate and Isobel. He and Marion had seven children. John was their third son.

John2 Welch, the Rev. John Welch, (John1) was born in 1556 in Nithsdale (Dunscove) Dumfriesshire, Scotland. He was the Laird of Collieston, an Estate in Nithsdale, parish of Dunscove, Dumfriesshire in Scotland. He married Elizabeth Knox, born 1569 in Scotland and died 1625 in Scotland. Elizabeth is the daughter of John and Marjory Knox. John Knox is the founder of the Scottish Presbyterian Church.

John lived in Ayr, Scotland from 1590 to 1606 off and on. In 1605 he was imprisoned in Edinburgh Tollbooth, later taken to Blackness Castle, and then banished to France all due to his religious beliefs. He left for France on 7 November 1606 on a ship that sailed from Leith.

In 1621 he went to Rochelle, and then in 1622 he returned to London, England. He died 2 April 1622 in Scotland. His imprisonment had been by order of King James, whose intention was to destroy the Church of Scotland and establish bishops instead who he believed would give him absolute dominion. In an interview with the King, his wife was asked who her father was. “John Knox” was the reply.

“Knox and Welch” said the King, “The devil never made a match as 57

that.” The King told her that if she would persuade her husband to submit to the bishops, he would grant her request that he be allowed to return to Scotland, to which she lifted her apron and said, “Please, your Majesty, I’d rather receive his head there.” Welch is said to have often uttered prophesies against ungodly men, which came to pass.

The story is told that when he was once entertaining a company with godly discourse, a popish young gentleman began to mock and laugh and pull faces. Welch became sad and asked all to be silent and observe the work of the Lord upon the mocker, upon which the young gentleman sunk down and died beneath the table. At another time while in France, a young gentleman student of his died. He stayed with the body praying even though others came to take the body for burial. He asked for more time, which they gave; then he asked for more time still. After two days had passed they thought that perhaps he wasn’t sure that the man was dead so they called in the doctors to prove it to Welch. He still asked for more time; he begged them to give him an hour or two alone with the body, which they did. He fell down and cried out to the Lord with all his might until eventually the young man opened his eyes. Welch called his friends in and showed them the young man was alive. This young man went on to acquire a great estate in Ireland, and was asked by the Earl of Stafford to be a counselor in Ireland. When Welch was still in Scotland, some friends were waiting for him as he prayed in the garden. One of the friends opened a window and saw a strange light around him and heard him speak strange words about his spiritual joy. There are many more stories about John Welch; it was said that no man could hear him preach without weeping. John Welch and Elizabeth had five children. Their second son was Josias.

Josias3 Welch (John1, John2) was born 1590 in Ayr, Scotland and died 23 June 1634. The Rev. Josias Welch was a Methodist Minister at Temple-Patrick in the north of Ireland. He was also a Professor of Humanities at Edinburgh University. In 1626 he was living at Six Mile Water in the north of Ireland. The name of his wife is not known.

Only one child has been recorded, John.

John4 Welch (John1, John2, Josias3) was born in 1624 at TemplePatrick, Irongray, Ireland. He was a minister of the parish of Irong58

Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

ray in the presbytery of Dumfries and Galloway, Scotland. He was a religious extremist, one of the Covenanters. He fought in the Battle of Bothwell Brig (Bridge) in 1679. He was known as The Rev. John Welch of Irongray. He published a book “Directions to the Parish of Irongray� which was reprinted in Glasgow in 1769. John married Elizabeth Somerville on 18 February 1653 in Holywood. John died on 9 January 1681 in London, England. Elizabeth died in 1663 in Cprsack. They had only one known child, Thomas.

Thomas5 Welch (John1, John2, Josias3, John4) was born in 1645 in Galloway, Scotland. The family name of his wife, Jane, is unknown; however they were married in Scotland. Thomas and Jane arrived in Charleston, South Carolina in 1682. Thomas died on 29 July 1729 in Charleston, South Carolina. They had two children, both sons, Walter and James.

Walter6 Welch (John1, John2, Josias3, John4, Thomas5) was born in 1670 in South Carolina and was married twice. His first wife Mary died in 1754 and her family name is not known. His second wife was Elizabeth James. Walter died 30 July 1736. Walter and Elizabeth had only one child, a daughter. Walter and Mary had eight children. James Walter was the firstborn.

James7 Walter Welch (John1, John2, Josias3, John4, Thomas5, Walter6) was born in South Carolina in 1733. He married Mary Elizabeth Ervin on 25 December 1755 in South Carolina. Mary was born in 1735. They had five children. Richard was the third.

Richard8 Welch (John1, John2, Josias3, John4, Thomas5, Walter6, James7) was born 1762 in Sumpter District, South Carolina. He died 10 November 1838 in Natchez District, Mississippi and is buried in the Prempton Cemetery, County Line Church in Jones, Mississippi. Richard married Mary Marguerite Stuart in February 1784 in Camden District, South Carolina. Mary was born in 1764 in Sumter, South Carolina and died in June 1791 in South Carolina. Richard married a second time to Sarah Ervin on 10 June 1791 in Camden District, South Carolina. Sarah was born 17 October 1768 in Sumpter (Sumpter District) South Carolina. After her death he then married 59

Faraby Bryant in 1805 in Bryan Georgia. He had no children with his third wife. With his second wife he had four children. Richard and Mary, his first wife had three sons: Timothy, Bryant and Henry.

Bryant9 Welch (John1, John2, Josias3, John4, Thomas5, Walter6, James7, Richard8) was born 17 April 1786 in Sumter (Camden District) South Carolina. He died in Union Line (Covington), Mississippi and is buried in the Graham - Welch Cemetery, Union Line (Jones), Mississippi. He married Sabra Martin on 20 July 1806 in Bryan City (Chatham), Georgia. Sabra was born in 1790 in Bryan, Georgia and died in 1865 in Jones, Mississippi. She is buried in the Valentine Cemetery, Union Line (Jones), Mississippi. They had eleven children; John Ira was eighth child and the second son.

John Ira10 Welch (John1, John2, Josias3, John4, Thomas5, Walter6, James7, Richard8, Bryant9) was born 1821 in Wayne County, Mississippi, and died between 1852 and 1859 in Jones County, Mississippi. He married Catherine Bynum around 1841 in Covington/ Jones County, Mississippi. She was the daughter of John Bynum and Catharine. Her father is Unknown. She was born 1825 in Jones County, Mississippi. On the 1853 Mississippi Territory census, Catherine is listed as head of household with two males (Timothy Lawrence, Hiram Rankin) and five females.

Timothy Lawrence11 Welch (John1, John2, Josias3, John4, Thomas5, Walter6, James7, Richard8, Bryant9, John Ira10) was born 18 July 1842 in Jones County, Mississippi. He died 29 March 1917 in Franklin Parish, Louisiana. He married Mary Etta Mathews, daughter of Benagah Matthews and Mary Ann Stewart, in 1861 in Mississippi.

She was born 08 March 1840 in Georgia and died 29 March 1908 in Franklin Parish, Louisiana. Both Timothy and Mary are buried in the Old Winnsboro Cemetery Winnsboro, Franklin Parish, Louisiana. Timothy Lawrence was a confederate soldier in company F, 1st Battalion of the State Troops of Mississippi. The following children have been identified: Almeda K. Welch born in 1862. Mary Catherine Welch born 27 Oct 1862, John A. Welch born in 1864, Benjamin Welch born Oct 1869, William Timothy Welch born in Nov 1872, Adam Rankin (Doc) Welch born in 1873, Jesse E. Welch born in 1877, 60

Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

J. Mindy Welch born in 1880, John Ira Welch born about 1863, and Martha Viola Welch.

John Ira Welch12 (John1, John2, Josias3, John4, Thomas5, Walter6, James7, Richard8, Bryant9, John Ira10, Timothy11) was born about 1863 and died in 1933. He was buried in Midway Cemetery in St. Mary Parish, Louisiana. He first married Georgeann Blackledge.

They had three children: Harley, Lee and Richmond. After her death, he married Ardella (Della) Waits. She was born 10 July 1880 in Grant Parish, Louisiana and died 3 August 1966. She is buried in Forest Hill Cemetery, Memphis, Tennessee. Ardella was the daughter of Samuel Waits and Virginia Milstead. She was raised on a farm in Colfax, Louisiana near Pollock, Pineville and Alexandria. Samuel Waits was born 5 February 1837 in Mississippi and died 13 July 1895 in Louisiana.

Samuel enlisted in Company B 1st Battalion Louisiana Infantry in New Orleans in April 23 1861 and rose to the rank of First Sergeant.

John Ira Welch and Ardella Waits had the following Children: Samuel Timothy Welch, Mary Virginia Welch, Lucy Eunice Welch, James Ira Welch, Ezra Joseph Welch, Conley Ovid Welch, Raymond Levi (Ray) Welch, Della Marie (May) Welch, Janie Inez Welch, Alice Elsie Welch, Woodie Othel Welch and John Alton Welch.

Alice Elsie13 Welch (John1, John2, Josias3, John4, Thomas5, Walter6, James7, Richard8, Bryant9, John Ira10, Timothy11, John Ira12) born 22 August 1919 married Marion Thomas Collins, Sr. 25 June 1937. Marion Collins was born June 6, 1918 in East St. Louis, IL. At one time the Welch family owned a farm but for most of Alice’s life at home, John Ira was a sharecropper. The entire family worked in the fields. Alice’s father died from what we believe was liver cancer when she was only fourteen. After John Ira Welch’s death in 1933, Ardella married Adam Rankin Welch. Adam was John Ira’s brother and his nickname was Doc. Ardella (Della) and Doc moved to Eudora, Arkansas and eventually migrated to Memphis Tennessee. The family broke up for a while following the death of John Ira. The younger children May, Inez, and Alice found separate temporary homes— moving from one older member of the family to another. Alice continued to go to school after migrating to Memphis but dropped out in the eleventh grade. She worked in clothing stores and as a restau61

rant waitress. As the wife of Marion Collins, she became an important partner in the operation of the grocery store. She raised four children and often took in family members who needed help or a home. In between raising children and after they were school age, she worked either as a cashier in a grocery store or as a sales person in a neighborhood department store. To a growing family she is mother, grandmother, and great grandmother.

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

Chapter 6 From the Family Album

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Marion becomes the Kroger’s youngest meat market manager.

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

Marion started his working career with Kroger and ended it with that company.

In between, he owned and operated his own store and served as meat market manager of National Food Store locations and A&P.

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Marion Builds His Store.

Alice, Marion, and the rest of the crew of Marion Collins’ Super Market

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

The Grand Opening!

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Marion Thomas Sr. and Marion Thomas Jr.

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

Quick draw Marion on a Christmas morning

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Some Welch Photographs:

Alice’s father John Ira Welch

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

Alice’s Mother, Della and Uncle Doc

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The Girls Sister May, Friend Virginia, and Alice

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Marion Collins Remembers Old Sayings and Lessons for Life

For Marion and Alice, there were tough days as well as easy ones.

Starting from nothing and building a future and a family takes resilience, hard work, and resourcefulness.

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