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April 26, 2002


Turmoil in the Psych. Department Stirs 2 Student Emotions

This Week: News

Fisher Center Takes on Hip Hop



Moving Up Day vs. Charter Day



The Band is THE Band to Listen To



Sports Around Campus

Index News




Arts & Entertainment




Liz Kenney News Contributor


obart and William Smith is an institution that claims it values diversity, gender awareness, and a liberal arts education. However, recent actions concerning the treatment of Women’s Studies professor Betty Bayer suggest otherwise. Recently, Betty Bayer was offered the opportunity to transfer from the Psychology Department to the Women’s Studies Department. She accepted, but only under the impression that her c o u r s e s would be cross-listed between the two concentrations; that the only change would be her new status as a women’s studies professor. This cross listing has been denied and stands as the basis for the controversy currently surrounding Bayer, which has motivated her dedicated students and advisees to take action. HWS constantly promotes interdisciplinary studies. Why differentiate between departments? The Psychology Department determines which courses count towards a psychology major. They claim that, since psychology is a disciplinary course of study, it cannot include these interdisciplinary courses. However, for the past ten years all of Bayer’s feminist and social psychology classes have been cross-listed between Psychology and Women’s Studies. The stipula-

tion placed on the five courses offered by Bayer is that only one of these five courses taken will contribute to a psychology major. If a student opts to take more than one course, it will be viewed as an elective Women’s Studies course. This includes the very intensive research lab she offers that will not be credited as a lab. Professor Jeff Greenspon, the chair of the Psych department, was contacted for this article but declined to comment on the situation. Undoubtedly, these regulations will deter students interested in feminist psychology from pursuing this concentration and all that Bayer has to offer her students. More importantly, it discourages students from identifying feminist psychology as a valid discipline. The provost’s office was unavailable for an interview during the writing of this article but did release the following statement, “Professor Betty Bayer had requested a transfer from the Department of Psychology to the Women’s Studies Program and the Colleges authorized this transfer effective January 1, 2002. She remains a valued, tenured member of the Colleges’ faculty.” “On one hand we (HWS) say that we value gender studies here, but then they treat certain classes differently. The Psychology Department is not recognizing feminist psy-

The stipulation placed on the five courses offered by Bayer is that only one of these five courses taken will contribute to a psychology major. If a student opts to take more than one course, it will be viewed as an elective Women’s Studies course.


Moving Up & Moving On

Seniors (L to R) Colleen Allen, Molly Etherington, Sara Holden, and Erin Rucker carried the ceremonial laurel as the walked from the William Smith Circle to the Melly lawn for this year’s Moving Up day. This marked a change in tradition from past Moving Up Days that would start at Smith Green and “move up” to the William Smith Circle. The day ended with the William Smith Seniors passing the laurel to the Juniors as the next generation of graduating women looked to move up photo by Alicia Sands and out into the real world.

The End of Folk Fest? Colleen Boland News Contributor


his past Saturday many of you attended the Spring Fling for some fun, sun, music, and food. Now imagine that on a much larger scale. Picture this: vendors selling jewelry and clothes, taro card readers, henna tattoos, and yummy food vendors all jamming out to some reggae, punk, funk, and soulinfused bands. Sounds cool, right? Well those are the very things that the committee members of Folk Festival (FF) have been working towards this semester. As I write this article now, I am unsure if FF will even happen this September. I believe that the Bud-

get Allocations Committee (BAC) will overlook the 600 plus student signatures and deny FF their budget. I understand that BAC has a difficult task in distributing money to all student activities; however the committee has made a minimal effort to recognize the purpose of FF. The co-chairs of FF were notified early that their event was the most controversial to the BAC. As a result, the FF committee worked extremely hard to fix problems, involve the entire campus, receive feedback, and reduce our budget. The major problems being attacked were getting more vendors and better publicity. We want student involvement CONTINUED ON PAGE 2


The Herald

Students React to Trouble in the Psych. Department CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

chology,” claims Bayer emphatically. Since these actions have occurred, a group of five seniors and advisees of Betty Bayer, including Liz Dedrick, Lindsay Dolgos, Kathy Fernandez, Sara Lowengard, and Catriona Stevenson, have stepped up as advocates of Bayer and her significance in the Psychology and Women’s Studies Departments. In a letter presented to the administration, they stated, “She (Bayer) has been the single most influential person in our college experiences and educations. We feel that the moves being made currently by the Psychology Department and Administration marginalize the incredibly valuable feminist viewpoint put forth by Professor Bayer.” Why deprive future psychology majors from this invaluable resource? “Betty has been my mentor since

my sophomore year. She has had the single greatest influence on my college career and is the reason I am a psychology major. Because I am a psychology and women studies double major, had I been junior and could only pursue one of them, I would have chosen Women’s Studies because of Betty Bayer,” claims Dolgos. Should students be forced to choose between their passions? Many psychology students are not aware of these changes in curriculum. Due to faculty autonomy, the Psychology Department is allowed to decide what is and is not included in its curriculum and is using this freedom to exclude Bayer’s courses. In doing so, the colleges are doing many things; limiting the interdisciplinary nature that we strive for, discrediting feminist psychology, and the invaluable mentoring of Betty Bayer.


April 26, 2002

Hip Hop & Masculinity for the Last Fisher Center Liz Kenney News Contributor


he Fisher Center Lecture Se ries ended the year with a bang. Last Wednesday popular culture expert Christopher Smith addressed a standing-room-only crowd in the Geneva Room to present his talk “Hip-Hop, Gender, and the American Dream.” He used the popularity of hip-hop to relate issues of masculinity and capitalism within our society. “Hip-hop is the only form of pop culture coming out of America, coming out of our hyper-driven capitalist culture,” stated Smith. Smith takes the stance that hiphop is an extension of capitalist society because of the way it encourages upward mobility through prosperity. The American dream prom-

ises success through hard work, determination, and taking advantage of opportunities. Hip-hop has caught the wave of this emerging free market. “Hip-hop culture is a metaphor for questioning the American Dream myth of mobility,” alleged Smith. He claims that, like corporations, artists utilize hate as a price to pay to get wealthy, as a vehicle for upward mobility. However, hip-hop artists also use their music to discuss multicultural concerns, the quality of life, fears, and social community. The transition from the “gangster rap” of the early nineties to the “corporate rap” of the late nineties symbolizes the prosperity of our economy as well as the growing wealth creation of young business people.

The Last Meals at HWS, 2002

Folk Festival Fears Budget Cuts CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

by clubs participating with games, petitions, selling crafts, and anything else creative they can think of. Our FF board in Scandling center allowed passerbyers to leave us suggestions. Our meetings were open to everyone. With the exception of two students appearing at one meeting, only dedicated club members attended the rest. Our open forum night was well publicized with a noticeable tie-dyed sheet and colorful posters. Minus the FF committee, the sole attendee that night was the former HSA president who offered impartial yet objective advice. We tabled in Scandling, letting people listen to music and answered questions. This past week, we invaded

the Quad having you sign our petitions and answered more questions. FF cut costs as much as it possible. We eliminated Friday from the fest, reduced the number of bands, and cut other expenses. We carefully calculated a reasonable budget for a weekend-long festival as cheaply as possible. Since FF is a charity event, bands lower their prices to half of what they normally charge. If the BAC allocates a smaller budget than we requested, then the fest is in danger of extinction. We thoroughly revaluated FF and prepared ourselves for the BAC meeting. After all our efforts, our FF representative was unfairly allotted five minutes to explain a 48-hour event that has taken three months to plan. The question and answer session

was cut-off after another five minutes, and in the end many issues were unsolved. Since FF was labeled by BAC and SL&L members as controversial, it should have received more time and attention. Nevertheless, many questions could have been answered if BAC members were more willingly to attend FF meetings and our open forum. I am sadly predicting a BAC vote against FF. Abolishing FF means an end to a 27-year old, student-run organization, an all-campus activity, a fundraiser for student clubs, a charity event for local children’s groups, a showcase for emerging musicians, entertainment for Geneva locals, business for traveling vendors, and a community builder. The colleges will surely miss this great tradition.

However, his point did not ring clear until he showed two video clips that truly relate hip-hop and our capitalist society. The first was a dramatic speech by Ben Affleck in the movie Boiler Room showing the tenacity of businessmen and their willingness to forfeit everything for money. This was followed by the music video “You Can Hate Me Now” by Nas and P. Diddy, which emits the same message. The audience was extremely receptive to Smith’s topic. Most likely due to its relevance and the effect hip-hop has had on our generation. “It was an interesting angle in addressing hip-hop and I’m glad he offered hope for the future of this art form with less violent and misogynistic terms” emphasized Bean Bowland.





DATE 25-Apr 26-Apr 07-May 11-May

CAFE AT 10:00 AT 10:00 AT 10:00


THANK YOU Ian, Ben Kenna, Dave Gordon, Christina, Dane, Ally, Liz Kenney, Michael, & Tex Much Love Always, Best of Luck in the Future!

Love, Melly


THE HERALD Established 1879 By and for the students of Hobart and William Smith Colleges

An Obvious Solution To A Fatal Quandary

Melissa Roberts ‘02 Editor-in-Chief Ian Schlanger ‘02 News Editor Dave Gordon ‘02 Photo Editor Benjamin Kenna ‘03 Sports Editor Carl “Tex” Morgan ‘03 and “Dirty” David Diehl ‘05 Opinion/Editorial Editors Christina Taranto ‘05 Arts & Entertainment Editor Michael Cabot ‘02 Advertising Manager

CONTRIBUTORS Liz Kenney ‘05 News Goddess Colleen Boland ‘03 News Girl Nicole Lemperle ‘03 Op/Ed Savior Alicia Sands ‘05 Photo Princess Jonathan Widmark ‘02 A&E Wunderkind

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES It is the policy of The Herald as a student-run publication to inform the community of Hobart and William Smith Colleges. In keeping with this policy, the Editorial Board wishes to encourage constructive participation by any member of the Colleges' community. The Editorial Board reserves the right to omit, edit or reject any material. Deadline for all articles is 5 p.m., Monday evening preceding the issue. No exceptions will be made without prior consultation with the Editor-inChief. Deadline for all advertising is the Tuesday afternoon prior to publication. The Herald’s office complex is located in the basement of Scandling Center on the campus of Hobart and William Smith Colleges, Geneva, New York 14456. Address correspondence to Box SF-92. Letters to the Editor are subject to editing for clarity and libel by the Editorial Board. Letters may be submitted anonymously ONLY after consultation with the Editor-in-Chief. Letters do not necessarily reflect the opinion of the Editorial Board. Suggested length is 400 words

It’s All Over... Thanks again! -- M.A.R.


am not here to profess that I, one measly American, can change the world by bring ing this silent assassin of a predicament into the light nor its solution. But I do feel that the fore laying proposal could be a crucial ingredient in preserving the existence of our race, the human race. And you wouldn’t think that it would be this everyday habit that seems so basic that could lead to our demise. But it has not fooled me, and I have the proposition that could save the day- and month or year or millennia for that matter. As humans we have daily rituals or tendencies that become second nature because we perform them so regularly. Kind of like brushing your teeth or cracking your knuckles or even breathing. But it is not these habituals that is leading us to a location six feet underground. No, No, the grim reaper of which I speak is

“Joe.” A “cup of Joe” actually. Millions, billions, trillions of humans spill coffee down their throats with out the slightest inkling of a notion that it is having terrible effects on them and their bodies and their everyday lives. I first examined why people would want coffee to be their choice of drink. And because I too was a coffee drinker at one time it was not difficult for me to collect some reasons. Coffee, does, indeed, have a good taste. It is delightful when accompanying a donut, delicious when joining eggs over easy, and defeatless when teaming up with a cigarette. The flavor of coffee is probably the second most prominent motivation of most coffee drinkers. I would say that the main reason for drinking coffee is indubitably the caffeine. Caffeine is what gets people going before working, or studying, or just plain-old waking up. And caffeine, coffee’s got. An Average seven ounce cup of coffee contains one hundred forty-five milligrams of caffeine. That amount will surely get you going. But tell me this, is it all worth it people? I say “NO.” Why deal with the repercussions simply for taste and awake. Is it that

these defects can’t be seen? Well, I see them, and they will be noticed. These negatives have range; I will start with the small and build into the large. The first two annoyances are in an oral category. Foul dragon breath and golden rotting teeth. If coffee drinking continues and broadens as a cultural pastime, it will not belong before the human race consists solely of toothless people covering their mouth in order to converse face to face. And if that would continue to snowball it would not be long that sign-language would become our primary dialect. All this would happen, of course, in the result of people avoiding rank coffee breath and vulgar smile of gums and tongue. Now, hopefully, you are beginning to see my truth. If not convinced, I will proceed. The addiction to coffee has the potential of being an extremely timely one, especially an experienced coffee user. It takes more ticks on a clock than most people know to drink down a cup of coffee. It has body, its not water for God sakes. And it is served hot. This trait makes it inevitable for one to have to blow on the coffee CONTINUED ON PAGE 5

More Estrogen Than an Episode of “The View” Shay Fitzpatrick


ore girl-get-a-move-on-with-yourlife music than a Sandra Bullock movie called “Hope Floats.” Yes, it’s William Smith College’s annual Moving Up Day, a day reserved for the recognition of William Smith women for their achievements in academics, the arts, leadership, community service, and for their commitment to their campus and their community. A procession of William Smith students makes its way down from the hill towards the tent, where I am seated with many other students of the colleges, and families of students. I am taken by the decorum of this event, which is strikingly different from the brandyand-cigars austerity of Charter Day. As the ceremony continues, I feel as if I am at somebody’s garden wedding instead of a ceremony to honor academic prowess. Melissa Roberts gives a speech and the group of women she is speaking to applaud and laugh during her address. Two representatives from each class stand at the podium and deliver a “senior legacy” to the graduating seniors, a little something to remember their time at HWS by. Then there occurs this “passing of the laurel”, a time-honored tradition that incites much laughter and picture-taking.

There appears to be an emotional component at this ceremony that was perhaps missing from the Hobart counterpart. It seems so much more casual. This is not to say that Charter Day activities, like the Benjamin Hale dinner, are lacking in significance or sincerity or even lightheartedness. Instead, I am suggesting that a difference exists for how the men of Hobart experience their Charter Day and how the women of William Smith experience their Moving Up Day. But there is more to it. In the larger picture, this is a comment on the socialization of men in our culture. There exists an arbitrary barrier that, I believe, prevents men from sharing in the sort of communal, supportive spirit that women are almost expected to share (I am sure this is old news to most of you). I was witness to this distinction in having attended both Charter Day exercises and Moving Up Day exercises. At Charter Day, there is an unavoidable emphasis on uniformity: the men wear similar-looking sport coats and sit patiently as if in Sunday school, whereas at Moving Up Day, there is a greater feel of individuality: there is simply more color. The differences between the two were striking to me, and left me to ponder an important question: why

can’t I have felt at any Charter Day what I sensed the women of William Smith felt at Moving Up Day? The day that William Smith sets aside for these moments of recognition is lighthearted and emotional while remaining momentous and dignified. It also seems like a lot of fun. I envy those women. Perhaps I am just a wanker who is failing, miserably, at expressing a feeling I felt amongst all those friends on Friday afternoon, but I know that I am not alone in recognizing the difference between Hobart’s and William Smith’s days of recognition. I think there is much Hobart could learn from William Smith.

Psychology’s Current State CONTINUED FROM PAGE 4

situation, the chair of the psychology department, President Gearan, or the members of the Board of Trustees visiting campus this weekend would love to hear your concerns.


The Herald


Is There Racism On Campus? %#$*!@ Yeah! And Some Other Things… Jennifer Cunningham


here are so many things that I want to address because of course I’ve waited ‘til the last minute to write an article. First I’d like to respond to the article featured in last week’s Herald. The article was entitled, “ HWS: It’s Not All Bad” and in it Ms. Nicole Lemperle challenged everyone to use the “few weeks left of this semester to enjoy the school.” Continuing with “Want a few reasons to feel proud of your classmates? Check out Moving Up Day this Friday.” Well I took this challenge and it has failed me. I have never been so disappointed in my fellow classmates. During the Ceremony, representatives for the classes were called up to share advice for the underclassmen in the “Class Legacies” segment. The two women who spoke for the senior class decided that it would be funny to read off some of the quotes of their quote board. When on the topic of “How hard it is to find a man.”… The response was something along the lines of “If I was in a 3rd world country (you know, without the whole genital mutilation thing) my marriage would be arranged and I’d have like 5 kids by the time I’m twenty-two.” When I heard this “joke” the first thing I thought was NOT FUNNY! As I looked around I became disgusted by the people who were laughing around me. After hearing a speech about “kindness” and “respect from Dean DeMeis, I look up to see the people who are supposed to be examples laughing. Making light of a situation that many women in the 3rd world do not always have a choice in making. They were also making huge assumptions. For those of us who have traveled to a 3rd world country, studied any section of the 3rd world intensively or who are from 3rd world countries (the ones that I spoke with) there was a questioning of “ Why is this funny?” “My first reaction was that I was pissed off. After seeing one of my best friends (who is from a 3rd world country) leaving Moving “Down” Day in tears I was pissed off even more. Part of this was because I am tired of hearing racial slurs thrown at me from one of the speakers and from seeing other people trying to figure out ways to deal with other ignorant people on campus without getting thrown out. I guess “Moving Down” Day was the last straw. I’ve known these women for 4 years and I

lived with one of them. Throughout my time of living with this person things were said to me like “Your hair looks like pubic hair” (I have curly hair)… or “Your hair looks like dookie (when it was braided).” Another time I was told to “go pick some cotton.” I used to tell myself “Oh she’s joking. I’ll just let it slide this time.” To make a long story short there were too many times that this b.s. has occurred. I never responded because I felt some ridiculous debt to her for her helping me out before. Do friends make you feel inferior to them? This is not the first time that I’ve encountered racist acts. Once, I was called a “mutt” by one of my residents because of my mixed ancestry. The other day when I was biking home to my cozy off campus home I was followed by the GPD all the way home. Now what the hell is that? I’m 5 feet tall!!!! I did have a sweater with a hoodie on. Hmm... I’m a Black Latina 5ft. tall on bike with a pink hoodie, seems pretty suspicious to me too. During the night of “Take Back the Night” two stupid boys ran past us and took the carnation that we had placed in front of the door of Geneva Hall. I tried to retrieve the carnation but the door was locked. One of them that lived in the dorm after reaching his room put on the light, immediately grabbing my attention so I went to the window and told them to “return the carnation.” They proceeded to laugh and then one of them did the “Hail Hitler” hand motion to me. The other women who realized it said nothing and did nothing. This goes into how I think so-called “feminists” in the United States don’t support women of color because “it’s never a part of the agenda.” But, that’s another article that I will have to save for another day. One year a friend of mine, one of his residents wrote, “Chink sucks Fuck you” on his door and scratched it into the wall next to his door. They thought it would be a nice to touch then defecate on his door. Our first year he received racist death threats from a guy who later on set off “low intensity explosives outside his door in Medbury.” The boy was kicked out “his sophomore year, supposedly joined the Marines then came back his junior year to be placed in the same dorm as my friend.” If I haven’t shared enough of the ignorance let us jump back to Moving Down Day. Another comment that was brought out by these two women were… “Everything that I need to know about Judaism, I learned from

Adam Sandler.” This lack of understanding of other cultures is not something that’s just reserved for the person who came up with that comment. There have been other people who have felt that they’ve received a sufficient amount of cultural lessons from media personas and they went out and started attacking random people who looked like “Arabs” after Sept. 11th. There have been people who if they just learned about the culture that they fear through something other than just the media, then maybe they wouldn’t have defaced the doors of Hillel or my friend’s Israeli flag with swastikas. Maybe they meant it to be a joke but it’s NOT FUNNY! I understand that sometimes things take a minute to register or it doesn’t hit you until you return your room or talk to other people who were affected. To the people that ask, “Why does it always have to be a color thing?” I’ll tell you that its because for me it can’t be anything else. This isn’t a tan that will go away this isn’t something that people can’t see. Colorblindness is impossible unless you have a medical condition. I will continue to be judged by it and people will continue to assume certain things about me if I DON’T bring up this issue. It’s always in my face… For example the other day I went to the café to get something to drink. I picked up a Green Tea Sobe drink because it is so very yummy and it has cool drawings of lizards on the bottle. Then I read the cap. It said “Stop Lizard Profiling.” Now how am I supposed to take this? Is this supposed to be funny? Obviously, it’s talking about racial profiling. The fact that I can’t get a taxi when I go home to NYC is supposed to be funny because of assumptions that the cab driver has made about me? I’m not drinking from them until I get a letter of explanation and an apology. I understand Ms. Lemperle that you don’t want to hear another complaint about Saga/ Marriott but they should be more careful about whom they order their goods from. While we’re on this topic…. why in the world is there SLIM FAST in the café??!?!?!?? With the number of Eating Disorder cases on campus why would they have that? If Marriott supposedly cared about the health of the students on campus why would they put such an unbecoming product such as Slim Fast on its shelves? You have to care about the mental health of your customers just as much as the physiCONTINUED ON PAGE 5

April 26, 2002

The Current State of HWS Psychology Liz Dedrick, Kathy Fernandez Katy Stevenson


o what does count as psychol ogy here at HWS?! As graduat ing students of psychology we would really like to know exactly what we have spent the past four years and approximately $120,000 doing. After ten years, the psychology department seems to have suddenly determined that Professor (tenured, might we add) Betty Bayer’s classes are not psychology after all. So, if it is in fact true that Betty’s classes are not actually psychology then it only seems appropriate that the colleges offer all the students who have taken these classes for the past ten years a substantial refund. If they fail to do this, perhaps we could file a class action lawsuit against the colleges for false advertising, or for wrongfully misleading us to believe we would graduate with an adept understanding of social psychology. While a cash-back bonus might be beneficial to us as we prepare to face the harsh reality of the impoverished lifestyles of college graduates (who, by the way have built up some major debt here), the idea of receiving a refund is absolutely ridiculous. This idea is so preposterous, not because HWS is so tight-fisted and greedily drools at any opportunity to rip us off, but because Professor Bayer, a known and recognized member of the international psychological community has undoubtedly provided us with knowledge and intellectual instruction that is essential to our understandings of psychology. Professor Bayer’s social psychology and psychology of women classes have empowered us to think critically about the history and practices within the field of psychology by encouraging us to examine what counts as psychological knowledge and what biases lie behind that knowledge. Some apparently fear that her classes are poisoned by feminism or that her classes negate the information and knowledge presented within other branches of psychology on this campus, but this not the case. Rather, she has taught us to reflect critically on the material. And isn’t that one of the goals of this very institution – to transform students into sophisticated and critical thinkers? Speaking of the goals of this institution, we were under the impression that HWS is dedicated to examining issues around gender and being “gender aware.” I mean think about it, the coordinate system, women’s studies, men’s studies, the Fisher Center. . . The Scissors . . . these colleges have numerous structures dedicated to is-

sues of gender. Yet by moving Betty’s classes from the psychology department to the women’s studies program, not only are her classes being portrayed as lacking psychological content, but the elements of feminist psychology and the psychology of women are being eliminated from the psych department altogether. So let’s see, belittle and degrade the work of a prominent female feminist professor, remove feminism and the APA approved branch of psych of women from our psychology department, imply that the women’s studies program is only deserving of classes that are unfit for “real” disciplines . . . how does this situation facilitate gender equality and gender awareness??? Admittedly, it was ultimately Professor Bayer’s choice to switch from the psychology department to women’s studies. But we have to wonder how much of a choice it actually was. For the past three semesters, her courses mysteriously were not listed in the registration guidebook. Her lab class last fall was denied psychology lab space. The psychology department has hired someone else to teach social psychology and an additional faculty member to teach cultural psychology (is there really a difference here?). And these are the offenses we know about. . . So under such conditions, would you choose to remain in the psychology department? When we did ask administrators and Professor Greenspon (head of the psych department) about Betty’s switch from PSY to WMST, they were rather tight-lipped due to issues of confidentiality. Lest there be any confusion, WE DO UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF CONFIDENTIALITY! But exactly what is it about this situation that needs to be hidden from students considering that these decisions affect our education?! In this elusive evasion of our inquiries, all these talking heads did assure us that Betty will remain a valued professor at HWS. Well duh! Talk to any number of students and you’ll undoubtedly find that she will always be a valued and loved professor as long as she teaches here. Regardless of this fact, we feel this is a slight to her research, work as a professor, and her personally – not to mention a degradation of the work we’ve done with her as students! Rather than monopolizing her (and now our) time with petty and ridiculous obstacles, this institution should be fully supporting her. Betty represents the type of professor with which we should strive to fill all of our departments! We’re certain that if any of our distressed readers have comments on this CONTINUED ON PAGE 3

The Herald


in between sips to cool it; or maybe take the time to stir it; or add something (cream, milk, an ice cube) to decrease the temperature. It can take a good half of an hour just to finish one mug. Legend even has it, that once it took a virgin drinker a full day to finish one grande mug from Starbuck’s. Why should we take so much time and give it to such a small serving, scolding hot beverage? And our race does this everyday without even realizing the time they have thrown away, unconsciously spiting useful possibilities. These petty vices could lead to the end of life, but these cannot even begin to explain what I will reveal to you now. With addition to coffee drinking, the average person consumes eight hundred milligrams a day. This statistic has been linked in fueling the spread of osteoporosis. Also, there has been study of the relationship between Coffee and death. Of nearly one hundred and thirty thousand Northern California residents there is record of forty-five hundred deaths as a result of coffee. Oh yes, that’s right.death. You see it now, don’t you? So now you are probably pondering and entertaining the thought, “How do we fix this mortal, genocidal problem?” Well, I did quit and although I didn’t use this method, I believe it will put our race back on track. It will have humans sniffing life and not brewing death. I’m sure by now you are overwhelmingly anxious to know how, and I apologize for the suspense. I will tell you. We must replace coffee, with something else. A drug that has the same positives, but not nearly as many negatives. I propose that we, the human race, substitute our cups and mugs and pots of coffee

with lines and bumps and keys of cocaine. Now I know it may sound a little extreme and ridiculous but think about it. This will eliminate almost all of the problems of coffee, and its positives are positively more positive. Blowing cocaine instead of drinking down coffee, will automatically eliminate the foul breath aspect. It’s obvious, you don’t even take it orally, you take it ostrilically. And if you were to put some in your mouth, it will not taste bad. You’ll just get a little numb, but that is not a big deal, especially in comparison to rank breath. And it will do nothing to your teeth. You see, you are avoiding yellow incisors forever. The fact that you may get a bloody nose hither and thither is nothing measured up to that. Which is easier to cope with? Forever or rarely. And come on now, it won’t take one third of the time. You will never have to sit around wasting valuable time sipping that “bottom of the river mud,” thick, steaming coffee. No sir, just lay some out and put it up your nose and you are ready to go. Instant ambition, confidence, and social prowess.Is my point becoming clear? I hope it’s crystal. Now it must be obvious of how this could help our fatal predicament. Cocaine is just better than coffee, in fact, it should be our new “cup of Joe.” Our “cup of Yay Yo.” And a more potent cup indeed. This is my proposal and I believe it is the key to stopping humans from making a grave mistake. I believe it will work, and although it wasn’t the way I used, I’ve given it much thought and I’m sure that it has to be a better substitute than sex.

Is there Racism on Campus? CONTINUED FROM PAGE 4

cal. If people are obsessed about losing weight that badly, do you really want to give them the message that they could do it with this info-mercial product? Or is it that you’re just feeding in on insecurities to gain a profit? Before I finish this long-winded article I’d also like to add that I cannot be proud of this school until I can say that rapists and sexual assaulters are given their comeuppances. Victims or Survivors of rape and assault shouldnot be asked to consider letting their attackers stay on campus because it is their senior year! Oh and I’d like to congratulate the new diverse selection of representatives for next year. If you can’t see through the thick sarcasm, then I’ll give you a hint… How about you attend a cultural festivity or three on campus sometime?

Get to know us before you attempt to represent us. Because that is how you’ll serve us (the campus) best. If there are any grammar mistakes in this article I apologize, just try to focus on the message that I am trying to convey. If you want to be proud of something that isn’t just for your personal gain then get to know the people of Geneva. Mentor a kid, do some type of community service like Habitat for Humanity (as mentioned in the Lemperle article), learn something about another culture. I will admit that I have gained friends at this school who are now a part of my extended family and that is something that wouldn’t have happened if HWS didn’t exist. Unfortunately, I cannot take these little school events to take pride in the continuing problems that I have mentioned.


April 26, 2002


13 Tips for Surviving Finals Hell Nicole Lemperle


e all need some help get ting through finals and papers—some of us more than others, of course. Here’s a little guide to help you survive the last days of the semester with at least most of your sanity in tact. I don’t promise results, but I can at least promise you that you can put off work for a while longer by reading on! (Wow, I am shameless). 1.) Spend a great deal of time preparing your work area. This is essential. Make sure your books, phone, caffeine, water, highlighters, tissues, family photographs, multi-colored pens and notebooks are within reach. Make sure each item is neatly placed in an orderly fashion. This is a highly effective procrastination technique because you will feel as though you are accomplishing something. That is the key to great procrastination methods—the illusion of productivity. 2.) Comfy clothes are the key to good grades. PJ pants, oversized sweatshirts, bed-head and big slippers are all key. And during finals, showering is optional. Until you hear the persistent buzzing of flies in your

ear, that is. Studies show that students who are comfy receive higher final grades. (Actually I made that up but I’m sure some study somewhere shows that.) 3.) Keep away from the bed. I repeat, keep away from the bed. It’s a monster I tell you. The theory of “I’ll study better if I’m comfortable” is a big fat lie!! I have gotten more naps out of this little study theory than anything else. The bed is a trap just waiting for you to innocently sit down. Soon you’ll be reclining, than lying down and then before you can put your highlighter down you’re off in dreamland. Consider yourself warned! 4.) Dunkin Donuts runs count as “Study Breaks.” So do phone calls to your friend upstairs, IM conversations with your roommate, visits to Danny Wegman and episodes of The Simpsons. Don’t worry if your study breaks last longer than the studying. 5.) You can never take too many “Study Breaks” (just as long as you take a few “Work Breaks” in between.) 6.) Another trap to avoid: The 16 chairs pulled together on the third floor of the library. Nooooo! It’s like the poppy field in the Wizard of Oz—

A Farwell Address to Hobart Carl “Tex” Morgan


nother year comes to an end and we all are awaiting summer’s arrival. Each of us has just a few weeks and a few finals to go. We look outside and see that the snow has finally melted and people are starting to come out of their dorms to play on our beloved quad. After three years at this school my time has come to an end. There are so many things that I wish I could have done but just ran out of time. When I came to Hobart at first I didn’t like it. Actually to be honest, I hated it. There was cold and there was snow. If you know me you know that I’m not a fan of winter. Slowly, as time went by, this college started to grow on me. I started to actually enjoy being here. I met more people and that’s when the fun started. There were only two things that kept me at Hobart for this long: football and my friends. A lot of people on this campus are full of disdain and for some that’s what they want but for me I’d rather have a good time around good people. Guys, stop being asses to women on this campus, some of the best women you will ever meet will be here. There are some amazing people that go to this school and if you just open your eyes and diversify you might just find them. Once you do find them you

will understand what I mean when I say I have found some of the truest friends here at Hobart. I thank each and every one of my friends, I couldn’t have asked for anything more. I’m not going to say much about football because I think it only pertains to a small audience but I will say that I am glad I got to play college football with a damn fine team. I am grateful that Coach Cragg let me play for the Statesmen, it was an honor. I’m going to miss this place so much that I don’t even want to think about leaving. If you get a chance while you’re here try to take some physics and computer science classes. We have great departments for both and the professors are some of the best in the school. I’m going to miss not being able to go to the Holiday because Copperfield’s sucks. I can’t forget the Herald, even though I despised writing for it at times. The valentines that the girls give me each year, getting odder and odder with each one, will be longed for. Take advantage of this school and do everything you can because before you know it, it will be over. If you are in the New York City area next year and you need somewhere to crash give me a call. I’ll be at Columbia working on getting another degree. Fare thee well Hobart. Fare thee well William Smith. Fare thee well.

you’ll never get out of there awake! 7.) Don’t skip Midnight Breakfast at Saga. It’s not every day that Mark Gearan serves your pancakes! 8.) Skipped reading a book for class? Here’s a tip: It’s amazing how far you can get by reading the first and last chapters, believe me! (Note to my professors: I, of course, have never ever done this. I always read every single word of the assigned reading. Ignore that silly little tip above!) 9.) Chex Mix is definitely brain food. The same goes for microwave popcorn, Monster cookies, grilled cheese and Twizzlers. 10.) At 3:00 am something amazing will happen as you are staring at the blinking cursor on your computer screen. You become brilliant. Suddenly pages and pages of intellectual beauty are poring from your fingertips…. Just remember to read over all that deep stuff in the morning. Sometimes philosophical discussions about American Pie II or the physics represented in Snood loose their luster in the daylight hours. 11.) When the guy next door begins blasting Weird Al Yankovich, the CD on repeat in his stereo, check out the Blackwell Room. It is silence at its best, a well-kept secret on campus. 12.) When you are stuck staring at a blank Word document that has to turn into 12 pages before 9:00 am feel free to play with new and exciting fonts. A good font is the first step towards a stellar paper. 13.) Remember that feeling you get when you hand in your last paper or walk out of your last exam. Keep your eye on that feeling, it’s worth it.

No Flix This Friday

Arts & Entertainment

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The Last Waltz: Not Just Any Band, THE BAND! Jonathan Widmark A&E Contributor


n 1968 a record revolutionized rock and roll. The record was Music From Big Pink and the group was the Band. In an age when psychedelics dominated music, from the sounds of Jefferson Airplane right on up to the Rolling Stones, the Band offered listeners something different, something classic, something timeless. The Band was composed of five musicians so talented that the limit of their potential seemed endless. Robbie Robertson, Levon Helm, Garth Hudson, Rick Danko, and Richard Manual got their start playing together with rockabilly great, Ronnie Hawkins. After a brief solo spell as Levon and the Hawks they got their big break as Bob Dylan’s band. Participating in Dylan’s tumultuous 1965 and 1966 tours served as their baptism into the rock and roll industry. The music Dylan and the Band produced during those years was so scorching that most Dylan critics still claim this to be the apex of his performing career. This period has been

documented in the recent Dylan album, Live 1966. The Band went on to participate in Dylan’s Basement Tape sessions of 1967 and toured with him on his 1974 comeback tour. During Dylan’s convalescence in 1966 the Band went into the studio to record their first solo album, Music from Big Pink. Following a phenomenal performance at the Woodstock Festival in 1969 the Band was on its way straight to the top. Music from Big Pink, followed by their selftitled album have both become classics. Eric Clapton is quoted as saying Music from Big Pink changed his life. The significance of the Band is the purity of their music in an age of overpowering sounds and psychedelics. The Band was firmly grounded in the roots of rock and roll music and they never

once compromised those simple beginnings. “The Band sang and rocked with a singular telepathy in which the multiple strains of American popular expression became one: an indivisible vocabulary bridging Harlem and Appalachia, Sunday prayer and dirty boogie, Sun and Chess Records, pioneer myth and contemporary memoir.” The Band singleh a n d e d l y breathed new life into rock music, adding a refreshing breath of originality and unparalleled skill. The Last Waltz is the name of the Band’s 1976 farewell concert, immortalized in Martin Scorsese’s fantastic film. The Band decided to mark their departure from the music industry after 16 years on the road together, with one final blowout concert. The concert was held at Winterland in San Francisco, the same venue they made their solo debut at back in 1968. To mark the occasion they enlisted the help of a few of their friends, and the results are rock and roll history. Bob Dylan, Neil Young, Eric Clapton, Muddy Waters, Van

The significance of the Band is the purity of their music in an age of overpowering sounds and psychedelics.

ZERO DAYS PARTY Tuesday, May 7, 2002 7-10 p.m.

SENIORS -- Come celebrate a successful 2002 Senior Gift pledge campaign! Admission is FREE with your completed pledge form & 2002 payment! 2 Forms of Photo ID Required

Morrison, Joni Mitchell, and Neil Diamond are just a few of the names of the persons who came to pay tribute and say goodbye to the Band. The results are exactly what you would expect, absolutely unparalleled! For the first time since the album’s original release in 1978, the show is available in its entirety in a new fourdisc box set. Listeners are treated to over four hours of music and 24 previously unreleased tracks, including rehearsal tracks and studio outtakes. This tempered with the upcoming special edition DVD release of the film will keep music fans content for quite some time. Muddy Waters tearing into a rendition of “Mannish Boy” with Paul Butterfield on harmonica, Eric Clapton in a guitar duel with Robbie Robertson on “Further on up the Road,” Van Morrison kicking “Caravan” into high gear, and Bob Dylan getting down with his old band mates on “Baby Let Me Follow You Down” are just a few in a long list of reasons why this is a moment in the history of music never to be forgotten. The Last Waltz truly marks the end

of an era. Woodstock, Monterey Pop, Altamont, Newport 65, they all lead up to the Last Waltz, where one Thanksgiving night in 1976 the pillars of rock and roll came together to say goodbye, not only to a band, but to an age. As you can imagine, they did not go quietly into that goodnight, they went loud and with the same brilliance and versatility that had come to epitomize their legacy, one that remains unrivaled and unconquered. Afterall, they weren’t just any band, they were THE BAND!

Open Sundays 12-4

The Herald


April 26, 2002


YEP.. It’s The Last Herald Sports Schedule Ben Kenna

Sports Exhibitionist


H & WS CREW May 4-5 NY State Championships Whitney Point, NY

HOBART TENNIS 4/26-28 UCAA Championships @St. Lawrence WS LACROSSE 4/26 @Rensselaer 4 PM 4/27 @Vassar 2 PM HWS SAILING 4/27-28 America Trophy @NY Maritime Cayuga Open @Cornell HOBART LACROSSE 4/27 @Loyola NOON 5/4 vs. Cornell 1 PM (Last Home Game)

an anyone believe that the year is almost over? It seems to have gone faster than the 50 hotdogs that the Glutton Bowl champion scarfed down this past March. If you have managed to survive the April snow flurries, 40 degree temperatures, and the occasional 5.1 earthquake, you know that Spring will soon give way to Summer, a time where decadence and shenanigans will run rampant and faster than Hobart College senior Steve Chabot in this years Great Heron Road Race. What I can’t believe is that I soon will be a senior in this fine institution of higher learning, situated on the magnificent outskirts of glistening Seneca Lake. I hope that you will relish your time at old Hobs and Bill Smitty, because it goes by pretty dang fast. That being said, I’d like to discuss some of the issues that are sure to arise in the summer, from people, to places, to faces, to predictions, as well as some things to avoid, or citizens that makes this Sports Editor wretch. *First order of business…the guy on the cell phone, waving like a nut behind home plate when a baseball game is being televised. I hate that guy. If you see him, make sure to gun some form of greasy food (preferably a hot dog drenched in mustard) at him. *I hope this purple and green ketchup thing in the café is extinct when we return to campus in the fall. We’re adults, we don’t need the pretty colors on our food. Other welcomed extinctions; cover charges, collars up, the Yankees, boy bands, crummy sequels, and that Weakest Link lady. *Is there anything better than a cold beer after a long day of work? *Boston Celtics vs. Dallas Mavericks. Paul Pierce and Dirk Nowitski will be the best players in the league in three years. Dirk is almost there. *Http:// Could possibly be one of the greatest websites of all time. Thanks to The Sports Guy for the advice. *What is the deal with that kid from N’Sync going up into space? Is NASA really that dumb? Would you trust a multi-billion dollar project, and the lives of other human beings with the guy who came up with “God Must Have Spent a Little More Time on You?”

*Can’t wait to hear the bells of the ice cream truck. I don’t care; I’ll push an 8 year old out of the way for a Snow Cone. Who wouldn’t? *I had this question on my profile, but it didn’t elicit any response; what is the greatest 3rd grade computer game? Word/Number Munchers, Oregon Trail, or Where in the U.S. is Carmen San Diego? *Where in the World is Carmen San Diego is just too damn hard, hence the U.S. *Geneva faces I’ll miss this summer; Gwen, Lottie, both Betty’s, Anna, Ma, Pa, and everyone associated with Mark’s and Cam’s (especially delivery, or around 1-2 in the morning). *Ladies, if you’re on the beach this summer, watch out for that guy who got his calf implants documented on MTV. What a tool. *Best show on television. Pardon the Interruption. Hands down. *It’s always fun being the impetus of a “Yankees Suck” chant from the Fenway bleachers. *Mowing the lawn can be fun. But want to know what’s better? Making a younger sibling do it. *The SUPER BOWL CHAMPION NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS (never get tired of saying that) will

look to DEFEND THEIR TITLE beginning in a couple of months. *Yankee fans. We got Nomahhhhhhhhh. You got Jeter in a dress on Saturday Night Live. What would you rather? *The game “What Would you Rather” is perhaps the best game of all time. *When will people realize that Keanu Reeves is the greatest actor of our generation? *The NBA’s MVP will be Tim Duncan. Not Jason Kidd. Duncan scored over 2000 points, and grabbed over 1000 rebounds, a feat only a seclect few have accomplished in the history of the NBA. Kidd and his Nets are going to be out in the First Round of the Playoffs. I know the MVP is a regular season award, but Dunc gets my vote, and a much needed buck from my buddy Rob Stewart. Speaking of Rob.... *Rob Stewart. Thought you wouldn’t be mentioned one more time in the Herald this year, eh buddy? GOTCHA. On that note, I shall depart. Be safe and responsible this summer. Congratulations to the Seniors, and best of luck in the real world.....



Hobart Lacrosse Saturday May 4, 2001 Vs. Cornell 1 PM

SPORTS QUOTES “Well, that kind of puts a damper on another Yankees win.” Announcer Phil Rizzuto, after a news bulletin reporting the death of Pope Paul VI, 1978. “Being with a woman never hurt no professional baseball player. It’s staving up all night looking for a woman that does him in.” Casey Stengel. One of the worst positioning of headlines occurred in the San Jose Mercury News on the day that former baseball player Dave Dravecky announced that he would have his arm amputated and the Chicago Bulls won the NBA title: DRAVECKY TO LOSE ARM - THE BULLS PULL IT OFF. “My favorite umpire is a dead one.” John Joseph ‘Johnny” Evers. According to the Chicago Tribune, the following statistic was given in the press notes for a Chicago-Oakland game: The Oakland Athletics are 32-0 in games in which they have scored more runs than their opponents.

The Hobart College crew team was edged by Colgate University in a dual race with the Raiders and Skidmore College. A seasoned Colgate crew topped the Hobart Varsity Eight by less than two seconds. The Statesmen return to action when they travel to Whitney Point, N.Y., for the New York State Championships May 4-5 The William Smith College tennis team hosted its annual tournament this weekend, capturing the B and C Flight Championships in both singles and doubles play. Brockport, Cortland, Geneseo, Ithaca, St. Lawrence, Union, and William Smith competed in the two-day tournament. The Herons closed the season with a team match record of 14-3, their best record since 1992.

A MESSAGE TO THE SENIOR ATHLETES Be proud of your on-field accomplishments. Hold your heads high, regardless of the outcome. Remember the good times with your teammates. You played your best. You gave everything you had. You have a lot to be proud of. Congratulations, from all of us here at the Herald Sports Section. Sports Editor, Ben Kenna

SPORTS AROUND CAMPUS The William Smith crew team dominated Colgate University and Skidmore College this past Saturday. The Heron Varsity Eight pulled out to an early lead and built on it to top the second place Thoroughbreds by 19 seconds and the third place Raiders by 29. The Junior Varsity Eight also came out on top, easily winning their second race of the year. The Herons are back in action on May 4-5, at the New York State Championships in Whitney Point.

The ninth-ranked William Smith College lacrosse team posted a convincing 1711 victory over No. 5 SUNY-Cortland on Senior Day. The Herons got three goals and three assists apiece from junior midfielder Amanda Wynn and sophomore attacker Gretchen Lasda to snap the Red Dragons’ 10-game winning steak The Hobart College lacrosse team secured at least a share of its second Patriot League Championship in three seasons with a 17-6 victory over Holy Cross. The Statesmen had 18 players record at least one point, including 13 different goal scorers, paced by the careerhigh four-assist performance of sophomore attackman Geoff Zbikowski.

April, 26, 2002

April, 26, 2002