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By and for the students of Hobart and William Smith Colleges ISSUE 17


MARCH 25, 2005

What You Should Have Done For Spring Break, You Crazy Drunks Patricia J. Foster, Katie Bell Writers / Reporters


ammering down shots, beers, and cocktails, hun dreds of hungry students head to the tropics for spring break, escaping tests, papers, presentations, and professors. Meanwhile, across the island other students hammer nails into fresh plywood. Their vacation of choice: community service. The amount of college students participating in community service is steadily rising. The Campus Compact Organization, a national public service group found on college campuses, estimated that 30,000 students chose community service over colada’s and coolers on the coast. Alicia Pagan, senior at Hobart and William Smith Colleges, partakes in the Alternative Spring Break (ASB) programs offered. The psychology major traveled to Greene County, Pennsylvania in March of 2002, and next week she heads to Warrington County, North Carolina. Pagan, a highly ranked student leader in the Public Service Office of Hobart and William Smith Colleges, says community service plays an important role in her life. Pagan organized the Habitat for Humanity Alternative Spring Break trip that traveled to Greene County three years ago. The five person crew spent four days working on a two family home. They wired the house, dry-walled, and applied siding. “In such a small amount of time we made such a difference. In four days we helped a family be weeks closer to moving in,” she stated. The houses are not alone in need of development. Greene County “was tiny,” Pagan described. Struggling to note the

Graph courtesy of

break giving back to a different community,” she stated. Embarking on her second trip, Alicia packs her bags with enthusiasm. For this experience she will trade her saw and pliers for chalk and textbooks. Hobart and William Smith Colleges offer two ASB programs: one to Pocahontas State Park, Virginia and the other to the poverty stricken county in North Carolina, where a group of 11 students will aid teachers for one week. Hobart alumni, Michael Harris, class of 2000, created the “Noralina” program four years ago. Assigned to Warrington County, he also participated in the Teach for America program. In addition to working with elementary and middle school students in Warrington County, the program also lends a hand at the local

church’s after school program. They also take part in other service projects; last year the Hobart and William Smith Colleges students held a workshop, providing Warrington County students with information regarding college. Contrasting with the classroom based “Norolina” trip, students assist park rangers in the cleaning and upkeep of the Pocahontas State Park. Instead of teaching indoors, students learn outdoors. Ave Bauder, Director of the Office of Public Service, who attends one trip annually, believed the Virginia State Parks are some of the lowest funded parks, yet also some of the highest visited parks. “Volunteers are imperative to their survival,” he said. Since 1999, with the students’ help, the Park advances six weeks in their daily duties. Being ahead of schedule gives the rangers oppor-

Unsubstantial Cardio Equipment

W e e k e n d

area’s landmarks, she listed: McDonalds, a few churches, a store, and a movie theater that played the same movie at seven p.m. three nights a week. After learning of this Pennsylvania lifestyle, Pagan developed heightened passion for serving other communities, leading her to sign up for the upcoming ASB trip. “I wanted to spend my last spring

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W e a t h e r

Geneva, NY

Patricia J. Foster Copy Editor


obart and William Smith Colleges has highly com petitive, successful athletic teams. With Division I athletes and Division III champions, weightlifting and cardiovascular training is imperative for a team’s success. Because of the tradition of excellence all sports teams have, students wonder why the fitness center in the Bristol Field house lacks proper equipment. The fitness center holds one weight rack, with one set of every dumbbell weight ranging from 5 pounds to 95 pounds. It also has five benches, three situated for the bench press, 15 weight machines, six elliptical machines, four in relatively good condition, two old stairmasters, eight bicycles, three of which were made in 1989, and three treadmills. With 1900 students, the room lacks a suitable amount of free weights and machines, creating a busy exercise room. The morning is busy as the Geneva Hospital uses the facility for their rehabilitation program. Elders

tunity to do additional work that otherwise would not be completed, improving the quality and community. Rangers show the students appreciation for the students’ manual labor and great efforts with hay rides, canoe trips, and a tour of the historically rich city nearby. Trips to Richmond include visiting Civil War museums, the Edgar Allen Poe museum, and a meal overlooking the James River. Nightly reflections are also configured into the program’s schedule. Groups reflect on their actions— how they are impacting the world on a larger scale. They “reflect on how to make a difference,” Bauder concluded. Hobart and William Smith Colleges is not the only school offering tropical alternatives. Colorado State University sends approximately 100 students to various sites across the United States, from California to Washington DC. The trips focus on social and cultural issues such as hunger, AIDS/HIV, homelessness, racial dilemmas, and the environment, Colorado State University’s Community Service Office wrote. Like many other service programs, their mission is to improve students’ analytical skills, realizing problems and seeking solutions and to continually contribute to their community. The University of Vermont has sent over 1,000 volunteers through their ASB program since it kicked off in 1991, completing over 45,000 hours of service, the University of Vermont’s Community Service Office estimated. In 2005 the school will launch eight ASB programs for

Neverland Ranch, CA



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Rain/Snow Showers, 38°/32°

Partly Cloudy, 66°/50°



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Partly Cloudy, 67°/54°

Graduation Day

William Smith students excercise in current workout facilities.

use the free weights, benches, weight machines, and treadmills while nurses monitor their heart rates. Between the hours of eight a.m. and 11 a.m., the fitness center is busy with elders, leaving little room for a student to work out. Beginning at three p.m. this workout room fills up with students. Athletes and non-athletes fight for machines, cutting people in line in order to get a quick set done. There is always a 15 minute wait for the cardiovascular machines, and the weight section is constantly

crowded. “I have to race to get there from class so that I can get a machine. If it’s after 4:30 p.m., forget about it. I have to run outside or use the track. But there are tons of athletes running on the track for practice,” Lauren Fuller, an HWS junior said. She declared, “It’s really annoying having someone stand behind me waiting for me to get off. It’s even more annoying when I am the one waiting for a machine. I can’t even lift while I wait because it’s so cramped.”

Iranian policewomen (right) assult a building during a graduation ceremony in Tehran on March 12. Sixty-five female graduates will be assigned to crimes committed by women.

Photo by Farzaneh Khademian / ABACA Courtesy of MSN Online

Spring Fling Returns to HWS

March Madness

Gym Class Heroes

Find all the details about the popular event as it makes its return this year.

Pick your favorites for the Elite 8.

Local Hip-Hop group takes it national with the February release of The Papercut Chronicles.

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THE HERALD Established 1879 By and for the students of Hobart and William Smith Colleges Hadley Mongell Caroline Hettinger Editor-in-Chief Katie Bell News Editor Owen Oertling Brandon Currie Layout Editors Patricia J. Foster Copy Editor David Diehl A&E Editor Roderick P Thaler Jr. Opinion/Editorial Editor John Rosenbaum Sports Editor Veronica Mora El Heraldo Editor Kari Bakalar Emily Corcione Assistant Copy Editors

CONTRIBUTORS Alicia Sands Patricia J. Foster Darlene Palmer Brian Wills Jonah Levy Peter Gregory

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES The Herald is currently accepting submissions for our coming issue. The Deadline for this issue is Sunday at 7pm. All submissions left in the drop box MUST includeThe name and phone number or e-mail of an individual person that The Herald can contact regarding the submission. BOTH a hard copy and disk copy must be left in the drop box. If you are submitting by email, please make your submission an attatchment. If criteria are not met the Herald may not be able to print the subission.

Spring Fling Announcement The results of the survey are in! Hobart Student Government and William Smith Congress received a great number of responses from students and the Spring Fling Semi-formal will be taking place this year, by popular demand. Planning for the event is already underway and there are plans to book both a DJ and a live band. If you are interested in participating in planning, the Spring Fling Committee meets every Wednesday at 5:00pm in the cafe. The committee will also need help setting up the day of the event. Look for information in future editions of the Herald! Email Meg Moffit ( or Mark Hallman ( with any questions or suggestions.

WEOS Spotlight on Pamela Carroll Hadley Mongell Editor-in-Cheif

1) What is your class year and major/minor?

so I was pumped. It ended up being a blast, and now I’m back for round two.

I’m a senior majoring in English and minoring in European studies

3) What is your position over there? I co-host a Tuesday night spot with Mattie Diana. Ari Berenson produces each show.

2) How did you get involved with WEOS?

6) What do you like best about working with the radio station?

Last spring, my friend Hillary asked me if I was interested in co- hosting a radio show with her. I had never really gotten involved in any school organizations at the Colleges,

I love music, so it’s great to have an hour or so to hang out with my friends, share whatever I’ve been listening to, hear what they’ve been into and sample new albums that get

Chorale Begins Northeast Tour Darlene Palmer Office of Communications

The Hobart and William Smith Colleges Chorale brings something special to its annual three-city tour this year. In addition to works by such renowned composers as Claudio Monteverdi, Heinrich Schütz and Eric Whitacre, the 31-voice ensemble will perform a newly commissioned work by Scott Gendel with renowned classical guitarist Kenneth Meyer. Meyer is the recipient of the first prize in the 1994 Music Teachers National Association Collegiate Artist Competition, and was lauded by The Buffalo News for his “impeccably articulate with superb technique.” The Eastman School of Music graduate has performed throughout North and South America and Europe, and was recently featured at Rome Eastman Guitar Summerfest and the Alirio Diaz Guitar Festival. Chorale’s talent will be showcased in a series of performances beginning at 8 p.m. on Friday, April 8, at Grace Episcopal Church in Elmira before heading off to Washington, D.C., and Selinsgrove, Pa. The Chorale will return to the Colleges for two final performances at 8 p.m. in St. John’s Chapel on Wednesday, April 20, and Friday, April 23. The Colleges’ Chorale, directed by Bob Cowles, represents the finest vocal talent at HWS. Each student is rigorously screened for both vocal technique and musicianship. In addition, the Chorale is challenged with a wide variety of works ranging from medieval songs to the latest modern compositions. Cowles is the chair of the Music Department at HWS, where he has brought his lifelong directorial experience to bear conducting the choral ensembles and instructing students in music theory and practice. He holds a doctorate in music from the Indiana University School of Music in Bloomingdale, Ind.

sent to the station. Talking on the air is wild, too. 4) What was your funniest or most embarrassing moment on the air? Last spring, when Hillary and I first started, we brought in a bunch of our friends to the studio for one of our shows. Our spot was 1:00 a.m. on Thursdays, so they had been partying all night, and they got a little inappropriate on the air. The next day, Hillary and I thought we were going to get tossed out of school or fined large amounts of money by the F.C.C., but it ended up being cool. We were really embarrassed to see

Mike Black and Greg Cotterill, but they didn’t give us too hard of a time. 5) What is your favorite aspect of HWS? The fact that jokers like me and Matt Diana are allowed to run the radio waves around here proves that H.W.S. is a great place to go to school. The school grants you the opportunity to try new things and discover your interests. I appreciate the support system and freedom of expression this school provides. Faculty and staff here have made my experience incredible.

Fall ‘05 Registration Notice Current pin numbers for First-Years, Sophomores and Juniors will oe deactivated Wednesday, March 23rd and reassigned in preparation for the fall semester 2005 web-registration period. Announcement from the Registrar: NEW PIN numbers will be available beginning Monday, March 28th. HWS students registering for fall semester classes must contact their faculty advisors during advising week (March 28-April 1, 2005) to be advised for registration and to receive NEW PIN numbers for the upcoming fall semester 2005 webregistration and to access “Student Web Services” ( NEW PIN numbers are required for on-line registration. Offcampus students will receive their

newly assigned PIN numbers via email (to their HWS email address) beginning March 25th. Look for the Registration Handbook and Schedule of Courses for Fall Semester 2005 in post office boxes on Thursday March 24th. The Fall Semester Schedule of Courses and other registration information will be available on the Registrar’s home page beginning Friday March 25th. FALL SEMESTER REGISTRATION BEGINS ON APRIL 4th BY CLASS. SEE REGISTRAR’S PAGE FOR WEB-REGISTRATION INFORMATION. registrar/index.asp Any questions, call the Office of the Registrar at 781-3650.

EL HERALDO Veronica Mora El Heraldo Editor Announcements Latin American OrganizationWelcome Back!!!! Hopefully everyone had a great spring break. Now we are back in Geneva and only have a couple of weeks left so let’s make the best out of it. Remember LAO meetings are every Wednesdays at 7pm in the Intercultural Affairs House, come and join us. Also, we are very excited and working hard for this year’s Extravaganza which will be held on April 1, 2005. This is one week away so save the date and don’t miss it. It will be a fantastic event!!!! Caribbean Student OrganizationThe meetings are as usual every Wednesday at 8pm in the Intercultural Affairs House. This week CSA will be having elections, so if anyone is interested in becoming part of the CSA board please attend the meeting. Noticias Del Mundo Zimbabwe- There are only a few days left before primary elections in Zimbabwe and many think that the elections will not be free and fair. Various local and international rights organizations have sown their concern about the March 31 polls. The New York-based group, Human Rights Watch, is one of them and has created a 35 page report explaining why and how the past years of violence, intimidation and voting irregularities have skewed Zimbabwe’s electoral playing field in favor of President Robert Mugabe’s party. This report documents various cases of political intimidation including “threats, arbitrary arrests and beatings against opposition parties, their supporters, and other citizens by the ruling Zimbabwe African National Union-Patriotic and its allies”. Also, voters in rural poor areas have been told that

they won’t receive food aid if they don’t vote for the ruling party. Another way the government has restricted the activities of political parties and civil society activists is by applying new laws. The Public Order and Security Act to ban opposition meetings and arrest those critical of the government, for example, has been used against opposing parties. The Access to Information and Protection of Privacy Act has also been used to shut down various independent newspapers and arrest journalists believed to be dangerous to the government. According to many observers the 2000 and 2002 elections were surrounded with violence, intimidation and regularities and many fear this is what will happen this year again. The report by Human Rights Watch concludes that this year’s elections will not reflect the free expression of voters. Japan- A 7.0 magnitude earthquake struck Japan on Monday, killing one and injuring about 500 people. The hardest hit island was Genkaijima where about 200 buildings were either destroyed or damaged. Most residents of the island fled to the main island and spent the night in gymnasiums that were used as evacuation centers. Residents were scared and worried about what would happen next. Unfortunately the 7.0 magnitude earthquake was followed by many more aftershocks which contributed to the destruction of the islands. Japan accounts for 20 percent of the world’s earthquakes of magnitude 6 or greater mainly because it is one of the world’s most seismically active areas where a tremor is recorded every five minutes. Now the country faces a long period of reconstruction before things are back to normal. Namibia- After 15 years in power the founding president of Namibia,

Sam Nujoma, stepped down on Monday handing over to successor Hifikepunye Pohamba. Nujoma, a former guerilla leader, has many supporters as a result of guiding the country to independence from South Africa in 1990. The new president, Pohama, is a former land affairs minister and longtime SWAPO stalwart who is expected to follow his processors lead and continue giving Namibia’s 1.9 million people political and economic stability. Spring Equinox in Mexico The Mayan Civilization is known for many things including its use of advanced geometry and astronomy to built complex structures and map the cycles of the sun. The sun was of great importance to the Mayans; so much that they planned their lives around it. Their daily lives centered on the sowing and harvesting of their crops, especially corn. The spring equinox was their indicator to plant their crops, and at the fall equinox they began to harvest. The spring equinox has become an event that many people come to see at Chichen Itza because they can witness the incredible accuracy of Mayan astronomy as it was integrated into architecture. During the equinox the sun shines its rays on a pyramid forming seven isosceles triangles the resemble the body of a 37 yards long serpent sliding down until it joins the huge serpent’s head carved in stone at the bottom of the stairway. It is said that the serpent is trying to reach the well of sacrifice. At Dzibilchaltun, another Mayan site, March 21st at 5 am is the official day and time of the spring equinox. At this exact time the sun the sun sends its beams through the two windows of the Temple of the Seven Dolls providing a wonderful spectacle of Mayan Exactitude. It is very common during the spring equinox to see celebration with ritual dances, drumming and incense.

Factoids the HERALD Page 3 Continued From Page 1 students to take part in: one international and seven national based trips. Ithaca College is in the process of developing their ASB programs. Soon the city will be known for more than just its gorges. This year’s plan is for students to contribute at Scottie’s Place in West Virginia and Rebuild Northwest Florida, in Florida. Scottie’s Place is a camp for children whose lives have been disrupted by homelessness, Terry

Martinez, Director for Student Leadership and Involvement, described. “Students will work on renovation projects and will learn about the increasing number of homeless children and families, and what they can do to help,” she said. While a little further south, Ithaca’s second program, Rebuild Northwest Florida is no different in its purpose. Helping out recent hurricane victims, students will demolish “homes that are no longer safe and learn about how coalitions work

together for a cause,” she stated. Aside from community service, another way to spend spring break is to study for a week overseas. The Institute of International Education provides short-stay, study abroad programs. This is a preparation program for students going abroad for a semester and also a program fitted for a student who is not comfortable spending a longperiod away from home—it is designed for someone who is unfamiliar and inexperienced with interna-

tional travel. This program provides a different approach to vacation time. Increase in ASB participation in the past decade illustrates students ignore the stereotypical image of spring break. Rather than strutting their stuff in skimpy bathing suits with sand between their toes, students who participate in ASB programs stride with pride, fully aware of their lasting efforts, with the temporary evidence of dirt under their fingernails and sweat on their brow.

Whether playing in the sand or operating a sander, both options for spring break affect students: some have a temporary hangover, others have built a four person home. Pagan reflected, “Anyone can spend a week on the beach, but to be able to spend a week serving others shows character and commitment.” Martinez stated, “The ASB program is very different from the typical drink-fest that we perceive most students engage in. It is a better time then going to Fort Liquordale.”

Sports the HERALD Page 4

A March down Madness Lane

John Rosenbaum Sports Editor

NCAA Basketball March is upon us; the proverbial “The bigger they are the harder they fall” rings all too true as four months of suc-

cesses within seconds turn into agonizing displays of defeat. Favored teams such as Boston College, Syracuse, Connecticut, Kansas, and Oklahoma know this feeling as they are all currently licking the wounds of a premature oust-

ing from the NCAA tournament. Instead of the familiar powerhouse names of college basketball, unfamiliar hoop- names such as West Virginia, tied for seventh in the Big East this season, will play in the Sweet 16; as will Bob Knight’s habitual swooning Texas Tech Red Raiders. For all the Dick Vitale inspired folly of the first two rounds (only half of the No. 1 through 4 seeds survived – the second-lowest total since 1985), the big picture remains the same; Illinois will play North Carolina at the Edward Jones Dome, St. Louis, MO on April 4th in the Championship game of the NCAA tournament. Of this I am certain, or as certain as anyone can be; after all it is March. The NCAA tournament is really two events. There is the first weekend, where the hyped up streaking teams get danced out, and then there is the rest of the boogie, where the remaining, genuine contenders pursue a national title. Remember the turned upside-

down tournament of 2000, when North Carolina and Wisconsin reached the Final Four as number eight seeds? In fact, only seven of the top 16 teams made it out of the first weekend that year. However,

even in big upset years such as 2000, one favorite remained strong: pre-tournament starlets Michigan State beat Florida 89-76 and were crowned national champions. Remember last year, where the

high powered squads of the two No. 1 seeds, Stanford and Kentucky, stumbled as early as the second round. It seemed confusing and alarming at the time; Dick Vitale used the word madness and craziness so many times I wondered if the words would have his wailer of a picture next to them in the Thesaurus. Vitale loves a Cinderella story, as do most other people, and this year is no different than the preceding tourneys of underdog feats of strength. UW-Milwaukee is in the Sweet 16, where they are to face the fighting squadron of the Illini. And although they will be hard pressed to even get into the elite eight, they would face an even more stern challenge in Oklahoma State or Arizona, should they conquer the boys from Urbana-Champaign. Therefore, Cinderella season is coming to an end. My Final Four picks going into the tourney were Illinois, North Carolina, Michigan State and Arizona State. It would be unwise to

change my educated guess; nevertheless, I might have to bite my tongue come this time next week. My outsider, Mississippi State, faltered but still gave Duke plenty to

think about. A revised outsider would have to include North Carolina State as the play of senior guard Julius Hodge and junior guard/forward Cameron Bennerman keeps improving from game to game. Madness is upon us; let’s enjoy the ride.

NCAA 2005 Sweet 16 Bracket


Bad Pickup Lines And The End Of The Family Pack Brian Wills

Vagina Monotony

Op-Ed Columnist


his spring break I realized something which disturbed me rather greatly. I was running out of spring breaks. As a junior, the time was nigh that I would spend the middle of March working as a bank teller or grocery store cart retriever. Pretty soon, the notion of a swinging spring break on some warm peninsula would be but a passage from the pulp romance novels I would be reading alone with my cats. I had to act immediately. However, apathy is a curious thing, and it took me until Wednesday to change out of my pajamas. This was a big step. In honor of “Real Clothes Day,” my younger sisters decided to take me out with them as they did a circuit of a local coffee shop/bookstore. Having no life, I eagerly agreed. On my way inside the shop, I was hailed by a nice woman in a wheelchair who wanted help up the stairs. As I was carrying her inside,

I couldn’t help but notice her splendid chrysanthemum scent. She rolled away and sat by herself on a love seat at the far end of the room and looked quite fetching. I decided that any day begun with real pants was a day to be seized by the horns. Plus, this might be the closest I would get to doing body shots in Cancun. I ordered a tea, and thought of my best pickup lines, then slimed my way over to her area, and asked if I could sit down as well. Probably an odd request, since the place was empty, but I had thought it a better opening than “Does your daddy work in a juice factory? Because you’re very fine.” She was polite, and let me join her. And then it began. I oozed my charm everywhere, like stress ball with holes. We got to talking. Things were going well. Somehow, the topic turned to spring breaks, and I found she was on hers as well. It was like meeting a stranger with the same obscure prescription as you, and feeling an instant rapport. Until she mentioned how it was a break from grad school. Strike. So she was older. No big deal. I pressed on, only to find it was a break from grad school after having been in the workforce for several years. Several being eight. Luckily I’m not a math major, so I didn’t need to worry about our discrepancy in age. We talked on, and I was totally wooing her when she mentioned her son. Bollocks. “How old is he?” I asked,

figuring it was still worth a shot. When she answered ten, I realized this was a real test of my imaginary skills. Since being ten is a relatively fresh memory for me, I thought I could work that angle a little bit, maybe get in tough with her infantile side. Things swiftly got somewhat creepy, once I realized I was closer in age to her son than her. And then she started talking about her husband. If my flirting was like a flock of pure white doves, she was like a jet engine, systematically sucking in each dove and rendering them into a fine pink mist. To make things worse, the whole conversation was within the larger context of how I should try and enjoy my spring breaks as much as possible, because I would never see the like of them again. And so she blithely sweetened my Milkshake of Defeat with little sprinkles of irony. I left the coffee shop in a black depression, and also with pretty bad pit stains, which didn’t help. But there is a moral to the story: Not only are we all growing up incredibly quickly, we are also increasingly at risk for losing access to the pool of casual liaisons and sex which so spoils us in college. Pretty soon, people are going to have secret spouses and children and a three pack of condoms will seem excessive. So live life and savor it now, before you become a bank teller or, more illustriously, a cart retriever.

The Hypocrisy of a Liberal Arts Institution Banning Military Recruiters

J.J. Truman Op-Ed Contributor


f vagina were the stock market, today would be Black Friday. Romance, the mysterious uncovering of what it is to be woman, or what it means to be man, has been killed and buried by poorly bred, pseudo feminist intellectualism. The kind of profound pop culture mental gymnastics that has raised the likes of Paris Hilton to the status of an icon and “It Girl.” The epitaph on the tombstone of Romance reads, “I hate not love, but your device in Love.” Yes, the vagina stock has crashed, has been reduced to nothing more than a “depersonalized organ” with women who have “neither want nor memory or their abused innocence.” How can any level headed observer disagree, the “It Girls” of William Smith College, and others, seem to emulate something one would find in some cheese-ball smut novel with a picture of Fabio, shirtless with rippled muscles, on the cover. They come from typical bourgeois families that have no sophistication, culture, or education; their fashion should be classified as “Ugly American” at the very best, and they’re morally loose, with no respect for themselves or other people. They are as impure as the driven snow they inhale up their noses every weekend. Like their pop culture counterpart (whether they claim to love Paris Hilton or not they still share her white trash attributes) they are capable of neither blushing, or embarrassment, or shame. Completely desensitized they walk around as

merely shadows of their former selves and pawn themselves like prostitutes. James Joyce once wrote “Old Woman: The sunken, gray cunt of the world,” but now it has become these young women, classless, and depersonalized, where sexuality has lost all intimate potency and has been reduced to nothing more than a recreational activity; their lives are as meaningless as the one night stand at that really cute guy’s party. They are typical, dime a dozen by-products of pop culture clichés, they mean nothing and believe in nothing; essentially flat characters that are about as deep as a mud puddle. So what do you do if you’re a man looking for a woman of taste and culture? Move to Europe; and don’t worry about ever meeting one of these trashy American “It” girls there, for if they are one of the few who have heard of Europe, they will be too busy anyway trying to get a job at a cheesy fashion magazine in New York City, reading and writing beautiful prose on how to give better blowjobs; a skill they will undoubtedly use many times over. However, the real reason why the vagina stock has fallen is that our American society has been inundated with it. Sort of like baseball cards or sport cars, the less people who have it the more valuable it is. But in this “Brave New World,” everybody has it, everybody won’t stop talking about it, and alas the beautiful mystery of love, intimacy, and the exclusive erotic discovery that men and women once shared, a thing called romance, is dead.

Peter Gregory Op-Ed Contributor


ohn Stuart Mill once stated that “If mankind minus one were of one opinion, then mankind is no more justified in silencing the one than the one - if he had the power - would be justified in silencing mankind.”My fellow students, you have the power to silence the voice of military recruiters on our campus, and I am asking you not to do so. We are all members of The Hobart & William Smith community, an academic institution that openly claims to be “ferociously and totally” liberal arts. We have a liberal arts education that is intended to shape an autonomous, self-determining individual and sets the stage for a life of civic engagement. This is achieved not only through diverse academics, but also through a diverse community that promotes and embraces other cultures and organizations. Donald Stern ‘66, who is a former U.S. Attorney for the state of Massachusetts, described his liberal arts education as one that gave him four tools; one of the tools that he named was an appreciation of a variety of different views. Whether you support or oppose the specific “don’t ask don’t tell” policy, banning military recruiters on our campus would degrade the level of public debate within our community. Banning military recruiters would minimize or even eliminate the discussion of the issue, as many students would not be willing to pursue the issue of “don’t ask, don’t tell” further. We should not start a precedence of banning voices among our community that we disagree with. Instead, we should embrace and promote a free marketplace of ideas and welcome all voices, especially those with which we disagree.

Also, military recruiters are not the only group on campus that recruit and advertise. Every day we have many recruiters on campus. Whether it be Andrew Boyd promoting “Billionaires For Bush” and trying to get our students involved by giving them contact information or a club fair on the quad, or the Catholic church with information regarding mass on the daily update and on the table tops in Saga and the café, groups and individuals are constantly recruiting for various causes, events and associations. The recruiters offer a career option that many of our students can tap. It is easy for law schools to simply ban recruiters, as most law students know what career path they will be choosing. Many students enter Hobart & William Smith as ambitious “foxes” and the armed forces is a viable career option for them. We must also look at the financial effect that this will have on the Colleges. We are constantly trying to increase our school’s endowment. Many alumni have withheld some or all of their annual gifts because they believe that the Colleges have certain biases. What messages will the ban send to our alumni, whose support allows the schools to operate? We only want to hear voices that we agree with and support? I do not support “don’t ask, don’t tell.” It is a policy that was created with the best intentions, but has since failed. It needs to be changed, and I will fully support an alternative policy. However, banning military recruiters from our campus is not a catalyst for this change and will instead ultimately damage our academic institution.




Wet T-Shirt















A &E the HERALD Page 6

The Papercut Chronicles – Gym Class Heroes David Diehl

A&E Editor

Warped Tour and played all over the East Coast. The fan club was growing; anyone who saw Schlep wile out over those funky basslines knew this cat was for real—knew the band was for real. The Heroes’ sound could do more than just represent hip-hip—the live instrumentals give the band owner-

February 22, 2005. The Chronicles introduces the world to Schleprok’s intoxicating lyrical range that can jump from heavy to light like foam. The album displays Ryan’s innovative basslines, Disashi’s groovy poise on rhythm, and Matt’s slick percussion. All the while, we are sucked into

Travis “Schleprok” McCoy is an Upstate New York legend. A depressed city adopted him as a savior when four high school buddies formed Gym Class Heroes not long ago. The band played small venues and parties, and their popularity was increasing. The band was getting better, and Schleprok’s charisma was as enticing as the smell of coffee in the morning. Small venues became not-so-small venUpstate New York Heroes release new record under national Indie label. The Papercut ues, and not-soChronicles blends stirring wit with freaked-out live instrumentals. big venues became big-ass venues. Soon, ship over their flow. Schlep is the the GCH vacuum that contains love, Schleprok was battling all comers conductor, and his bandmates stay hardship, lust, society, loss, addicon MTV Spring Break Edition— on the track—never skipping a beat. tion, deprivation, and Bob Ross. After getting Warped, the “Papercuts,” the title track, has a knocking punks into the sand like those Seaside Park waves. When band’s new found popularity earned beat that lurks behind you like a Schlep got home, the city was his, them a spot on tour with former shadow. Just like the girl in the song, and the Gym Class Heroes’ unique TRL favorites, Less Than Jake. the instrumentals taunt you but punk hip-hop became the city’s When a GCH demo fell off the tour maintain authority. “She says she bus, it bounced directly into the loves me but/she comes and goes soundtrack. But like Morgan Freeman says hands of Pete Wentz of Fall Out when she pleases/Cause when the in Shawshank Redemption, “Some Boy. After that, record labels from door shuts/It’s like another papercut/ birds aren’t meant to be caged. all over the map were trying to nab And I’m stuck with a hand full of Their feathers are just too bright.” the Heroes, and eventually they Band-aids/Until she comes back Like Andy DuFresne, the Gym signed with the Florida based Indie around like them ceiling fan blades.” Class Heroes are just too special to label, Fueled by Ramen (Get it?). Through the hook, awareness of be regionally confined. Their mu- Now the Heroes are on a national Schlep’s anguish are blatantly apsic needed to spread through the rest tour with their buddies from Fall Out parent, but he can still bring it back of the country like an outbreak. Boy, and their latest record, The to earth was an endearing immatuThey got picked up by this summer’s Papercut Chronicles, dropped on rity. At the end of the song he

boasts, “She says she loves me but/ My ears are too big, She says she loves me but/I pick my nose too much.” Just this past year, Schleprok lost a very close love one in a local tragedy. He expresses his grief in “So Long Friend,” a scary and static good bye that proves his divinity in a “black hole city.” The city he describes in “Petrified Life and the Twice Told Joke (Decrepit Bricks).” A classic guitar riff gets angry when the drum beat kicks in, and Schleprok grumbles his grovel, “Walk on shitty city sidewalks stepping on every single crack/Reminiscent of that joke we used to say when we were snotty nose/My purpose got defeated when my mom turned paraplegic/ Plus I failed my civil serv i c e exam…they said I cheated.” Schleprok proves that his art spraypaints life and what it threw at him. Some shit he dodged, and some shit smacked him right in the noggin. But he got back up. Life also threw Schleprok love—some of it he grabbed tight, and some he deflected—his lyrical accounts are the highlight of the al-

bum. First, in the catchy laundry list of past relationships “The Makeout Club,” he rants, “After that there was Lisa/She had a twin sister, Teresa/I bumped into them at Cam’s gettin pizza/The greatest night of my life, Schlep’s the rock that killed two birds. And there was Erica/She had the stankest breath in North America/I tried to slip her tic-tacs, but they were scared of her/And when we made out, I always had to plug my nose.” And in “Cupid’s Chokehold,” featuring Patrick Stump of Fall Out Boy, and sampling Supertramp’s “Breakfast in America,” Schleprok pleads that he has found the one, “She’s got the cutest laugh I ever heard/And we can be on the phone for three hours/(not sayin’ one word)/And I would still cherish every moment/And when I start to build my future she’s the main component/ Call it dumb, call it luck, call it love, or whatever you call it/But everywhere I go I’ll keep her picture in my wallet.” The Gym Class Heroes reek of humility, clever consciousness, and mainstream potential. Everyday that you don’t have this LP is like another paper-cut.

Way Cool Jonah Levy A+E Contributor

During my sunny spring break trip to Southern California, I took some time out to catch the only film appropriate for my Hollywoodified vacation: “Be Cool.” Sequel to the mixed-review ’98 film “Get Shorty”, John Travolta stars as Chili Palmer, the ultimate chilled out go-to-guy. It’s either Mr. Travolta or Mr. Palmer who seems to have a medical condition which causes him to remain absolutely calm throughout the crazy world of showbiz depicted in “Be Cool”. In this world, there is an inherent trinity of movies, music, and mobsters in every facet of Los Angeles. In the opening scene, which begins with the wonderfully selfparodied line “Ughh, sequels,” Chili

explains to his good buddy Tommy (James Woods) that he’s getting out of the movie business and into music. This is followed with a snippitycut assassination involving a Russian with a black eye, a bad toupee, and a big gun. Tommy is left dead and Chili’s greatest disappointment is that his shot-up Cadillac is replaced with a tiny hybrid. T h i s sets up a few wellplaced g a s mileage a n d physical comedy shticks. So we’ve got the Russians and then we’ve got the WMD’s. The Weapons of Mass Destruction is a rap group lead by the demure but adequate Andre 3000, playing a jittery young gangster named “Daboo.” Sin La Salle (Cedric the Entertainer) is their producer/mob boss/resident Oreo (for those of you unfamiliar with snack-based racial references, an Oreo is black on the outside and white on the inside. Think Twinkie for the Asian equiva-

lent). So mixed up in all this business is a lot of owed money, gay jokes, dead people, failed hits, and a young star, played by the promising Christina Milian. “Be Cool” is far fetched, but fun. Many viewers will get a kick out of The Rock’s performance as a hopelessly homosexual bodyguard and his single-named employer Raji (Vince Vaughn). Mr. Vaughn successfully plays possibly one of the most hated characters I’ve ever seen on the big screen, and naturally, he’s a cracker, one of the most hated stereotypes in America today. The star-struck cast includes Uma Thurman in a type-breaking roll as a ditzy (but heroic) music producer, Harvey Keitell as the bad guy, Robert Pastorelli as a food-obsessed pizza-bagel (Italian-jewish) hitman, and Steven Tyler as himself. “Be Cool” lovingly pokes fun at itself with quirky and clever script decisions, glitzy sets, cool (and inevitably uncool) characters, and tons of show-biz in jokes. The musical performances (don’t forget that trinity) are unforgettable and have obviously been dealt a lot of hard work. I recommend this movie if you are inclined toward pop music, pop culture, popular celebrities, or are just looking for a brainless good time which is fortunately just a combination of the first three categories.