3.4.05

t h e

Herald

By and for the students of Hobart and William Smith Colleges ISSUE 16

VOLUME CXXVIII

March 4, 2005

Fierce Debate over Military Recruiters

Recruiting efforts called to question by both sides of the aisle.

Amanda Jantzi News Contributor

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ast Wednesday saw a flourish of ta bling activity in Scandling Center: Re publicans and Democrats with petitions, PRIDE Alliance with information, and the Progressive Student Union attempting to develop a peace studies program on campus.

Students were overwhelmed, befuddled, and disorientated by the numbers of tables and messages. Confused, we were unable to determine – what, exactly, is going on?

Basically, several issues are being de-

Brandon Currie / Herald

bated on campus simultaneously. The Progressive Student is joining the likes of Harvard, Yale, and several other law schools in an attempt to ban military recruiters as a result of their discriminatory policies towards lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered (LGBT) people through their “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell Policy.” PRIDE Alliance had previously formed a coalition with the PSU, but then decided to simply have their own table to raise awareness about this issue. The College Republicans and Democrats, while differing in their objections to the PSU, joined

together to support the military recruiter (refer to last week’s editorial by Thomas Baptiste and this week’s editorial by Lou Guard to read what each organization has to say about their position). The PSU, in conjunction with this issue, is also tabling to get a petition signed to institute a peace studies minor.

The PSU is trying to raise awareness about this debate by holding an open forum where all four groups involved will voice their opinions on the matter and all students are welcome to participate. Keep your eyes open for events of this nature on campus that will keep you informed and engaged.

The “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, which came into effect under the Clinton administration, was designed to allow LGBT to serve in the military. However, the policy allows for discharge if personnel are reported as engaging in homosexual relationships (for more information on the policy, see PRIDE Alliance’s editorial this issue).

At issue with this policy is that we may be subsequently endorsing it by allowing military recruiters on campus, and in effect violating our own anti-discrimination policy here at the Colleges. The policy prohibits any sort of discrimination on campus based on “race, color, religion, sex, national origin, family relationship, sexual orientation, veteran status, or age in the education programs and activities” that the Colleges operate. The PSU and PRIDE make the argument that, in allowing a discriminatory institution to recruit on campus we are both endorsing its policies and violating our own. However, banning recruitment on campus could be a possible violation of First Amendment Rights.

In order to ban a military recruiter from campus, the requisite number of signatures would have to be on a petition that would go before the Board of Trustees and the President, who have the ability to block any such action. The likelihood of this happening is slim, owing to the current debate in the nation’s courts over legislation that would remove federal funding from institutions that ban military recruitment.

The debate over these issues is occurring not only on our campus but on others across the country. Locally, Cornell Law School is also grappling with these issues. Due to the complicated nature of the debate, it is unlikely that it would be resolved this semester.

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W e a t h e r

Geneva, New York Friday: AM Snow Showers, 31°/15°

Saturday: Few Snow Showers, 28°/18°

Sunday: Few Snow Showers, 29°/21°

Buenos Aires, Argentina Friday: Mostly Sunny, 83°/65°

Saturday: Partly Cloudy, 86°/66°

Sunday: Partly Cloudy, 86°/67°

Chung Sung-Jun / Getty Images

South Koreans spin fire cans during Jwibulnoli at Han river on Feb. 23 in Seoul, South Korea. The event is part of a Daeboreum folk art festival for full moon day. The first full moon of the Lunar New Year is called Daeboreum, and the first day of the full moon is celebrated.

‘Stuff Happens’ Before It Happens Office of Communications Press Release

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tuff Happens” Comes to Hobart and William Smith Colleges American Debut of Successful British Play About the War in Iraq.

Before the book is even available in the U.S., HWS students and faculty will read excerpts from “Stuff Happens,” the docu-play about the decision to go to war in Iraq, by British playwright David Hare. “The presentation of Stuff Happens at HWS affords members of the HWS community, as well as from the surrounding areas, an unusual opportunity to see a performance of a current play prior to its professional premiere in the United States,” says Linda Robertson, professor of writing and rhetoric at the Colleges.

The reading, which will include commentary on the accuracy of Hare’s portrayal of events, is scheduled for 7:30 p.m. on Thursday, March 3, in Albright Auditorium on the HWS campus. The event is free and open to the public. A donation will be requested at the door to cover production costs.

The play takes it title from the cavalier response made by Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld in April 2003 when he was asked to comment on the widespread looting which followed the ouster of Saddam Hussein

by American forces, “Stuff Happens ... and it’s untidy, and freedom’s untidy and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things.”

Combining investigative journalism with dramatic inventiveness, Hare leads the audience through a reprise of public justifications for the war made by President George Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney, Secretary of Defense Colin Powell, National Security Council Chief Condoleezza Rice, Prime Minister Tony Blair and others. The audience also eavesdrops on closed-door meetings, negotiations and the human drama behind the public declarations.

The reading is presented by the Media and Society Senior Seminar, taught by Robertson. Research teams, comprised of senior Media and Society majors, will report on the accuracy of the information Hare presents.

The British play debuts at HWS before US release.

The reading will be followed by a discussion with the audience to answer questions and explore themes developed in the play.

“Nothing in the play is knowingly untrue,” says Hare in an interview with John Tusa on BBC Radio. The author is well known in England as a political playwright and wrote the play, which opened in September 2004 for the Olivier Theatre in London. “Stuff Happens” premiers in the U.S. at the Mark Taper Forum, Los Angeles, Calif., from May 25 through July 17. It has been read in the U.S. by various amateur groups.

Members of the HWS faculty who will read parts in the play include Professors Jo Beth Mertens (Economics) and Steven Lee (Philosophy), Nadia Louar (French) and Richard Rainville (Spanish). HWS students reading parts include: Lee Kreiner ’05 , Morgan Callahan ’06, Barbara Johnson ’08, Nathan Kress ’07, Michelle Grocke ’06, Alyson Spery ’06, Alexis David ’05, and Caroline Wenzel ’05. Members of the Senior Seminar (Class of 2005) are Tara Brisson, Kelly Case, Henry Clutsam, Helmi Hunin, Tiara Kelly, Jessica Larigan , Kathleen McGuire, Hadley Mongell, Sarah Peck, Zack Stelzner, Frances Sulle, Nicholas Versandi, and Geoffrey Wright.

$1,700 Valentines Day

Hunter S. Thompson Remembered

The Oscars: Living in a Garbage Can?

One HWS student walked away with a $1,700 diamond ring after this year’s Valentines Day.

Brian Wills reflects on the loss of a great journalistic influence.

Criticism rolls after this year’s Oscar Awards disappoint expectations.

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CAMPUS LIFE the HERALD Page 2

THE HERALD Established 1879 By and for the students of Hobart and William Smith Colleges Hadley Mongell Caroline Hettinger Editor-in-Chief Katie Bell News Editor Owen Oertling Brandon Currie Layout Editors Melissa Sue Sorrells Copy Editor David Diehl A&E Editor Roderick P Thaler Jr. Opinion/Editorial Editor John Rosenbaum Sports Editor Veronica Mora El Heraldo Editor

The People Behind the Names Patricia J. Foster Herald Contributor

J

ackson residents: Have you ever wondered who is respon sible for providing you with a bed? It certainly isn’t you or your parents.

Reverend Abner Jackson, the fourth President of Hobart College (1858-1867), died in 1874, leaving Hobart a large amount of money and books. In memory of Jackson, a dormitory built in 1967 was named after him.

Jackson hall is a coeducational dormitory to mostly first-year students, while some upperclass students live there as well. Jackson Hall and its immediate neighbors, Potter and Rees halls, are known collectively as “JPR” or “Superdorm.”

They mark the Colleges’ southern border on Pulteney Street.

Jackson took on the role of President of Hobart College after Benjamin Hale retired due to mon-

Amanda Jantzi Alessandra Raimondi Alex Brustowicz Evan Van Gorder Louis H. Guard Alicia Laible Patricia J. Foster Andrew Overfield Laura Geisenheimer Kailey Voellinger Jonah Levy Brian Wills

Katie Bell News Editor

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t’s no longer about chocolates, roses, or conversation hearts.

For one Hobart student, this Valentine’s Day meant a diamond ring.

Junior Economics major Corey Whidbee won a $1,700 pear-shaped Gabrielle diamond ring in a Valentine’s Day contest at the UPS Store in Geneva.

WEOS spotlight for Greg Tull Q: What is your class year and major/minor?

A: I am a sophomore here at the colleges. My major is Media and Society, and my minor is as of right now just Spanish, but I do plan to minor Latin American Studies as well.

Q: How did you get involved with WEOS? A: Actually a friend of mine invited me to his radio show one night and really enjoyed it. Another friend also approached me that year and suggested that both of us start a Latin radio show.

Q: What is your position over there?

A: I am a Radio DJ/ show host (basically the same things) Q: What was your funniest or most embarrassing moment on the air?

A: Well, it was during my first couple of weeks of doing my show and I accidentally cursed not once but three times on air, one of them being very clear and loud.

Q: What is your favorite aspect of HWS? A: My favorite aspect about HWS is its size. I (sometimes) like that it is a rather small campus, and because of that things are very accessible, especially professors.

after William Elliott. Elliott funded the Varsity House after his father, Lewis Elliott, former Hobart baseball player, passed away.

Ironically, current students are unaware that these buildings are in memorial of previous presidents and honorable contributors and students.

Angela Marinucci, junior, said she had no idea who Abner Jackson was. When asked if she knows any history of past presidents or founders she stated, “I know William Smith was a philanthropist, and he wanted the school for the girls in order to save Hobart from financial ruin.” She concluded, “Besides that, I know nothing.”

Even with a deep rooted history and tradition, Hobart and William Smith Colleges students know very little about its originators. Marinucci concluded, “It’s not like they [administrators and faculty] stress it.

All the Colleges history is in the basement of the library on the way to the bathroom.”

More than 300 people entered the “Key To Your Heart” contest during the two weeks before Valentine’s Day, applying in store, answering radio show trivia questions, and applying at M. Hatter Jewelers, who supplied the ring.

Scott Bissell of the Finger Lakes Radio Group contacted Whidbee on Friday, February 11th , and the next day, fourteen of the fifteen finalists enjoyed a Valentine’s Day celebration complete with pink

sparkling grape juice, and chocolate decadence cake, and heart decorations galore. Each finalist picked a key, in hopes that it would open mail box #214, appropriately signifying the date.

“Everyone was happy for me,” Whidbee said. He noted all the extra attention that the diamond ring and the contest have brought him.

Many people wanted the ring themselves, and questioned when they would get their proposal from

Whidbee.

This leads everyone to pop the question: What are you going to do with the ring?

After many suggestions, Whidbee is going to keep the ring in a safe place until the day he needs it. It was the best Valentine’s Day for Whidbee, who doesn’t particularly care for the holiday.

“I just came for the cake, I wasn’t expecting the ring.”

National Perspective From The Nation’s Capitol

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES The Herald is currently accepting submissions for our coming issue. The Deadline for this issue is Sunday at 7pm. All submissions left in the drop box MUST includeThe name and phone number or e-mail of an individual person that The Herald can contact regarding the submission. BOTH a hard copy and disk copy must be left in the drop box. If you are submitting by email, please make your submission an attatchment. If criteria are not met the Herald may not be able to print the subission.

An early landowner and settler of Geneva and an acquaintance of General George Washington, Major Rees, built The McCormick House in 1806, with renovations taking place in 1853. In 1941 the estate was sold to Hobart and William Smith Colleges.

Hale Hall and Bartlett Hall, allmale dormitories are named after previous presidents Reverend Benhamin Hale, third president of Hobart College (1836-1858) and Reverend Murray Bartlett, president of the Colleges from 1919-1936.

Other previous presidents which buildings are named after are Reverend John Milton Potter—Potter Hall, Dr. Walter Hetherington Durfee—Durfee Hall, Dr. H. Newton Hubbs—Hubbs Health Center, and Reverend Louis Melbourne Hirshon—Hirshon Hall.

Most athletic buildings are named in honor of Hobart and William Smith Colleges students. The Elliott Varsity House was named

A Valentine’s Day Surprise In Diamond Form

Kari Balakar Emily Corcione Assistant Copy Editors

CONTRIBUTORS

etary frustration. Without any endowment, Jackson began his time in Geneva campaigning for funds.

Warren Hunting Smith listed Jackson’s most urgent needs in his book Hobart and William Smith: The History of Two Colleges: “A chapel, endowments for a chaplaincy and two professorships, the payment of $10,000 in debts to free the Horace White Professorship of Rhetoric, funds for better faculty salaries, a gymnasium… scholarships for candidates for the ministry, and an enlarged library.”

Jackson dedicated much of his time improving the financial state of Hobart College.

Like Jackson Hall, other dormitories, buildings, and landmarks on Hobart and William Smith Colleges campus are named in honor after high donors and benefactors. The McCormick House, an all-females residence, was named after Mary Ellen McCormick Scott-Craig, sixth dean of William Smith College.

ticipated in the trip. I learned a great deal from each of you and will always remember that special place known as t was a brand new town with a D.C. So thank you all. brand new people. Like any new Hey, what happened to the Expos locality, D.C. offered a springidea?! There are certain words and board of excitement for those fortuphrases that people become known for, nate HWS students who would make coin if you will, and my peers on the their dwelling there for the next 3 1/2 trip were no different. Some of these months. We embarked on a new bephrases included “fun times,” “manginning, and at the end of this beginpower,” “flip a what,” “that makes me ning we had accomplished experience nervous,” “rock star,” “oh no” and and growth. “p.s.”

As Professor McGuire said near I would like to commend those who the final hurrah: “This program offers did such a superb job of hosting the trip students the chance to realize what including the on-site program Director they can accomplish, as well as what and Professor, Dr. Patrick McGuire, and they can expect of themselves to acProfessor Joe DiGangi. Professor Scott complish in the future, and to continue McKinney, my academic advisor over to perform at that level. Compared to the past few years, thank you for your a student’s level of performance at the guidance and consultation. I would like commencement of the program, at the to praise Nancy Caves, the Student end of the three and a half months, Employment and Career Services photo by e-copernicus.com the bar of performance will be raised, Administrator, Bob Murphy, the DirecThe United States Capitol, where many DC students held internships. and has so for all of you.” This could tor of Career Development, and others almost be perceived as a formula for self us to share the great insight of those with experience working in the Career Development Center growth. and a bird’s eye view in fields ranging from law, lobby- who offered me their ear, feedback, and What ilk of student would find this pro- ing, and politics to economics. Discussion relating to knowledge about my resume and cover gram beckoning and engaging? A former in- the interaction of monetary and fiscal policy – where letters. I would also like to give acclaim to tern at the office of U.S. Senator Chris Dodd, the FED meets government expenditures - was where the Center for Global Ed., which assisted us Jeremy Horan comments: “I would recom- I, an econ major, was rewarded the most merry gut- every step of the way, especially the Promend it for anyone who hasn’t lived in a city busting fun. Let me just mention the divine aura which gram Manager, Amy Teel. And even though for an extended period of time and wants to radiates from the very room where Alan Greenspan he is no longer working at HWS the former see what the real world is like.” Washington and the rest of the Board of Governors mingle…we office support specialist, Mike Daly, was an offers a very educational and fun atmosphere, had been elevated (well not literally—we took the stairs) immense force in keeping us students aware, which most students having participated in the to a great empyrean. via e-mail, of certain deadlines. program will attest to. I would add that those To all those involved making my internThe fourth credit of the program was earned students possessing enthusiasm and curiosity through an internship. For those students with little job ship possible, I want to thank you for the about a professional experience are those experience, this program helps you learn to present very rewarding, substantial, and significant people who would cite the program as being yourself in a professional environment –at your place experience I’ve had at the U.S. Trade and authentically satisfying – which it is. of internship—and it provides many opportunities to in- Development Agency. My first professional For me, the D.C. program stimulated and teract with alumni. Through my discussions with Bob experience has incorporated everything I broadened the area where economics meets Murphy and people inside the US Trade and Develop- could have asked for and more. I have gotpublic policy. Classes were held 7-9 a.m. ment Agency (USTDA) where I interned, networking ten to know many people inside the agency Tuesdays and Thursdays. If you were to ask can be the key to landing a job, and so I made it a point that I would not have gotten the chance to a student participant where class was held, to form relationships while at the agency. meet had I not received the internship posiyou might hear: “Under the bridge and across Herald reader, the D.C. program has been a sig- tion. Having been brought into a new envithe traffic” — classes were held in the con- nificant and substantial experience for me. I have come ronment, I had to observe, listen, and perference/party room of the hotel just down the into contact with a number of great people, whom I form at a fairly rapid pace. The USTDA road, a short five minute walk from the stu- would probably not have gotten to know otherwise, both has shown me what I can accomplish as well dent residences. These included two hour-long at the agency and at the residence suites. I couldn’t as what I can expect myself to accomplish courses, one econ and one public policy. The have been more fortunate: my time here has been most in the future. The internship with the third class? Seminar, usually a weekly event, enriching, both academically and interpersonally. I USTDA has raised the bar for my level of incorporated speakers from an array of HWS would like to express thanks to the colleges for having performance and is one that I expect myalumni who now work in the area, allowing offered this program, as well as to everyone who par- self to perform at and even surpass.

Andrew Overfield Herald Contributor

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OPINION-EDITORIAL the HERALD Page 3

A Response to Amanda Jantzi’s Crisp Clean and Hardhitting Article Dr.Dirtbomb of the Martini Section Contributor

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hen using the term, “con servative moron” to de scribe someone, one thinks of someone who is easily threatened by positive change and prone to believing outdated and unrealistic stereotypes. While Amanda Jantzi is correct in calling several members of the martini staff activists (though not all of us), she is incorrect about everything else. We are not all hippies in tie dye, we do not wear Birkenstocks and throughout my tenure on the martini staff and as a member of PSU, I have never used a gas mask. Given that this is the second time I have personally written to clarify this particular point, I doubt anyone will actually believe me. If you want to talk about misusing stereotypes and marginalizing opinions, how about you take a look at the offense graphic at the top your article, featuring a stoner hippie flashing the peace symbol. Not only is that insulting, but it’s demeaning and condescending. You’re going write an article claiming we should write for the Herald because you accept everyone and treat everyone fair, and stick that on the top of the article?

Brilliant move.

Your article claimed that the PSU turns off conservative activists and doesn’t make them feel comfortable. I’d say you’re right.

We’re interested in furthering progressive social ideas, not some Jim Crow shit about supporting every decision our president makes and retaining our place as the #1 imperialistic superpower. If you want to get active and yell at women at abortion clinics, go for it, but you won’t find a place in our group. The point of PSU isn’t activism as a whole, but rather activism to further liberal, socially progressive ideas.

That’s what the P in PSU stands for. I personally couldn’t care less if you don’t feel comfortable with the issues we protest or engage in.

That’s clearly not the point. As a liberal, I wouldn’t go to a campus

republicans meeting and complain about feeling left out. That’s just stupid.

Martini is not about stifling any voice. It’s about furthering the dialogue on campus about political issues important to us. If you want to know why I don’t submit to The Herald, read the ridiculously homophobic neo-fascist “In defense and support of our armed forces” article that appeared below yours.

That’s reason enough not to submit.

I don’t want my name to be associated with that sort of a statement. I mean, what the hell is a “homophiliac”? That’s not a word.

Our paper doesn’t pretend to be free of bias. Our political articles are written by progressive activists.

This may be why it upsets you. It also may be because it rules.

We didn’t start martini “just because” as you so eloquently said.

We wanted to make our own paper that furthered ideas we thought were important. The Herald was not the place to do that, as it would be against the nature of the paper. It is not a political paper. Therefore we started our own. Either way, your arguments made no sense.

Reacting out of fear and ignorance, while immensely popular these days, is not something to be proud of. Your dislike of our paper is clearly based on something other than the occasional typo, seeing as how your article was riddled with them. You are obviously simply upset about the content, and upset by our existence, which makes about as much sense as your baseless, ignorant accusations.

Also, the article you mock about Antarctica’s pointlessness was written by Jonah Levy, who, if I am not mistaken, has written for the Herald on several occasions. His article was wicked funny. But unfortunately, as evidenced in your article, you have no sense of humor whatsoever and are unable, entirely, to deal with how [expletive] rad we are.

Eat it, Doc Dirt

College Democrats Position on the Issue of Military Recruiters Louis H. Guard & James Mulligan Section Contributors

In an article in The Herald last week, the College Republicans voiced their stance on the banning of military recruiters. Today, I write on behalf of the College Democrats in order to clarify our views on the issue, and to apologize to the members of the HWS community who did not understand our viewpoints and were offended by our joint action with the College Republicans in regards to the petition.

Hopefully at the end of this piece the actions of our group will be clear and a lucid difference will be seen between our reasons for action, and those of the College Republicans.

The College Democrats at Hobart and William Smith Colleges do not support the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. We fully comprehend the nature of this policy as being discriminatory, and understand that in many cases, it leads to abuse of homosexuals that is not at all warranted. We do not consider these abuses to be “alleged,” but matters of fact.

In regards to combating the “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, the College Democrats stand firmly behind the beliefs of the Progressive Student Union, and wish to see this heinous policy withdrawn. However, it is in the nature of the protest against this policy that our group takes issue.

The College Democrats support the right of the military recruiters to execute Free Speech on our campus. We feel that they have the right to perform their duties and their job like any other group of human beings. We do not misunderstand the method, the symbolism, or the design of the protest that the PSU wants to employ, however we feel that there are simply more effective ways in existence.

The Progressive Student Union, through their desired method of protest against “don’t ask, don’t tell,” are sewing together two separate issues; that of military recruiters on campus, and that of the policy itself.

It is true that although many people strongly dislike the policy of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” many believe that military recruiters have the right to remain on campus, and would not sign a petition banning them in the name of “don’t ask, don’t tell.” It is for this reason that the College Democrats supported the dual petitions which were tabled in SAGA some days ago. One petition stated that the signer supported the rights of military recruiters to remain on campus, while the other stated that the signer was against the policy of “don’t ask, don’t tell.” The College Democrats believe that by separating the issue of banning military recruiters from the policy of “don’t ask, don’t tell,” much more can be achieved in the name of the repressed individuals in question.

More basic reasons exist beyond those already stated for supporting the rights of military recruiters.

Hobart and William Smith Colleges, as we all know, is a place for planning for the next level of our lives and for pondering career options. We are purported to be, in short, a place of opportunity. By shutting out military recruiters, we are closing off the opportunity of a prosperous career as a military officer to our future graduates. Furthermore, we are contradicting our mission as an institution of higher learning. Instead of the college campus being a place where everyone can

share their opinions, we would begin steps at further narrowing the scope of those opinions welcome here.

Learning simply becomes illusory when you only listen to what you want to hear, and by banning recruiters we would be doing just that. We support our voluntary military, even if we might not support the various ways it has been used, particularly in recent years, and even though we do not support its discriminatory practices. We wish to continue to support our military by allowing it to recruit on our campus, and we maintain that any effort to prevent the military from recruiting is destructive to the voluntary nature of our military.

The recent article on behalf of the College Republicans, penned by Thomas Baptiste, in no way represents the views of the College Democrats.

We disagree with the assertion that the current vices against homosexuals cannot be likened to the discrimination against Afafrecruiting.com rican-Americans, other racial or immigrant groups, or women. Furthermore, we find it impossible to quantify discrimination, or find elements in discrimination which make different types of discrimination more “akin” to each other. Discrimination simply is what it is: a hateful and unacceptable attempt at creating a second-class citizenry. The article also states that to “condemn this new policy is to declaim that president Clinton was a poor President.”

This is obviously an incorrect statement and a testament to the inherently flawed logic of the current Republican Party. Simply because one dislikes a certain policy of a president does not mean they must think that that particular president was “poor.” Such a notion is absurd. I am certain that there are those Republicans who find the fiscal policies of the Bush administration quite irresponsible. This in no way means that they must in turn think him to be a “poor” President. One might easily recall that it was the stated intention of President Clinton to entirely abolish heterosexist discrimination from the military. With his efforts thwarted by Republicans in Congress, Clinton was forced to accept the disgraceful “compromise” that is the policy in question. Our organization is stupefied at having to clarify such elementary historical and political facts. To summarize, the College Democrats support the continuance of military recruiters on campus, but are in no way in line with the grandiose reasoning expressed in the recent article from the College Republicans.

The College Democrats wish to raise the current level of debate. We are adamantly against “don’t ask, don’t tell” and wish to see it abolished. However, we feel that the current method employed by the PSU would not be the most effective way to do so. Why not simply a petition against “don’t ask, don’t tell” which could be signed by students from HWS, and then students from other New York colleges like U of R, Cornell, Syracuse, Ithaca, R.I.T., Colgate, Hamilton, or Skidmore to be submitted to legislative bodies?

Certainly, it would not be hard to reach out to students at these schools, and a petition bearing the names of faculty, staff, and students from them would be a momentous statement. Or, why not simply protest “don’t ask don’t tell” whenever military recruiters are on campus? As a campus, we can find a way to combat “don’t ask, don’t tell” while respecting the sometimes bothersome, yet existent rights of military recruiters.

Green Tip of the Week If you dry laundry one load after another, you decrease the amount of energy that is needed to heat up the dryer.

Corrections: The Herald would like to apologize to Caitlin Rogers. There was a misspelling of her name in our last issue.

As well, the punctuation anomalies in Thomas Baptiste’s were not errors; they were intentional political statements. Please refer any questions to the writer.

OPINION-EDITORIAL the HERALD Page 3

The Frats They Are A-Changin’ Evan Van Gorder Section Contributor

I Eulogy Brian Wills Section Contributor

Last week, journalism lost one of its most precious contributors. Hunter Thompson shot himself in the comfort of his own home on the twentieth of February. While some people, arguably wrong people, might be inclined to say good riddance to bad trash or something of the like, I would like to say something different. While Hunter Thompson is of course best known for his enviable lifestyle of craziness and for the luscious and varied salads of drugs he indulged in, he was also a writer.

One of the very first of his kind. He popularized so-called New Journalism, a radical shift in perspective from the often laughable (particularly now) objective source, to one where the journalist was immersed as a participant.

While his immersion philosophy often took him to places that society didn’t approve of, it also was a catalyst for discourse and responsible citizenship. Hunter was, above all, an uncensored font of opinion. His accounts of life among a certain class of Americans were compelling. Whether you might have agreed with him about Hubert Humphrey and Nixon or not, you have to hand it to him for getting you to form an opinion at all. This Gonzo Journalism has metastasized and become the popular documentary today. All you bloggers, readers of blogs, or fans of documentary films such as Fahrenheit 911 and its rebuttals are looking at the vastly evolved fruit of Hunter’s initial seed sowing.

What you may view as a biased media source is actually doing quite the opposite. If you know media has a lean, you can choose to be influenced by it or not. It is forcing you to take a stand, one way or the other, and it is trying to put an end to the apathy (and manipulation) of the common citizen. Hunter was the grandfather of New Citizenship. A product of the activist sixties, he took his involvement zeal with him his whole life, periodically reminding the nation that by living here you had a responsibility to have an opinion. To think.

In a tardy honor of Hunter and of yourself, do something responsible today. Read a newspaper. Disagree with something. Go get high.

Remember that life in this country relies on you, and without participation you may as well be living in a zoo, patiently waiting for your handlers to fill your trough with a delicious balance of recycled-animal-product pellets and some water. You don’t want this, though.

You want steak, gravy and potatoes, delicious rare fish and Extra-Virgin olive oil. You should all be gourmet citizens. Now go eat.

am neither a writer nor have I ever con sidered myself to be passionate about anything enough to consider myself an “activist.” Furthermore, I usually shy away from any sort of debate taking the Mitch Hedberg approach of “I’m against picketing but I don’t know how to show it.” For these reasons I apologize if any of my statements come off as sounding unsophisticated or illogical, but the fact of the matter is, this is one of the first times in my life that I am passionate enough about something to express my personal opinion publicly.

It is commonplace for people to have strong biases against fraternities for one reason or another. Maybe you think that the stereotypical “frat guy” is just using his parents’ money to buy his friends, or you feel that when a “frat guy” throws a party he is just trying to get drunk, hit on freshman girls, and act like he is better than you by not letting you in the door. I however, being in a fraternity, would like to defend my beliefs and argue that yes, the “frat guy” does exist, but he is not the majority. In fact, campus studies have shown that the majority of fraternity brothers actually have a higher average GPA

than the Hobart men’s average, as well as come back on weekends with a lower BAC then the average college student. For my purposes however, this information is irrelevant.

I don’t want to focus on the whole drinking or academic aspects of fraternity life but instead express my disappointment in the way in which the whole fraternity system is viewed in such a negative and biased manor. Yet again, I could argue until I am blue in the face,

citing statistics about academics and the vast amount of hours of community service all showing the positive side of being a fraternity brother, but that’s not what I want. I would much rather just make a simple plea for you to see through the “frat guy” stereotype and make your own unbiased decision

about fraternity life. Don’t buy into the negative publicity given to the fraternity system by the media, or movies or even rumors that you hear about certain events that happened on campus. Make the effort to actually talk to a fraternity brother or attend one of our substance-free social or academic events; that’s right, you didn’t read that incorrectly, fraternities actually host a number of lectures on campus.

I’d like to argue that just because I am involved in Greek life that doesn’t mean that I’m the stereotypical “frat guy,” in fact most fraternity brothers aren’t “that guy.” So please, don’t judge us until you truly know us, and if you had a bad experience with us, please give us a second chance. The fraternities at Hobart College are making a sincere effort to move away from the stereotypical negative images given to us. Unfortunately, it is a hard fight to overcome these stereotypes, given to us from years of misunderstanding and misrepresentation. Each week the fraternities come together as a whole, as the Intra Fraternity Council, and hold a meeting trying to find ways to better our image and become role models in the College and local community, but we can’t meet our goals without the support of those who are not Greek.

HWS Word Search Word Key BARNPARTIES BRUNCH CAFÉ CAMS COMSTOCK COXE DOLLARDRAFTS DURFEE EARLYRISER GEARAN GENEVA HALE HERALD HOLIDAY HOUGHTONHOUSE LAKETROUT ODELLS PARKERS PUB ROXANNE SAGA SENECALAKE SHOOTERMCGAVIN SUPERGLUE

Sports the HERALD Page 3

Rivalries of another World John Rosenbaum Sports Editor

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hile American rivalries such as the Boston Red Sox – New York Yankees of baseball, Colorado Avalanche – Detroit Red Wings of hockey, and Los Angeles Lakers – Boston Celtics of basketball stir up considerable feelings of passion and perhaps even revulsion, it is diminutive to the derbies of European soccer and the fervor and sometimes also vicious violence that accompany these games.

Violence in soccer has existed long before the sport became organized. The earliest manifestations of this were erratic instances of aggression towards the referees. This trend gradually spread across many European and South American nations but was especially strong in Italy, Holland, England, Germany, and Argentina.

By the early 1970s, the major European teams had extremist supporters producing intense and often bloody club rivalries. This was fur-

ther intensified by the early 1980s, when the Italian “Ultras” (extremists) lead the way with what is considered the modern concept of “Hooliganism.”

Their organized dramatic methods, which were (and on occasion still are) often illegal, involved chanting, profane songs, displaying banners of malevolence, fireworks, smoke bombs, and even discharging explosives. The Italian model spread like a bonfire beacon through Europe and before the end of the 80s most European leagues had mimicked this moot behavior.

But lately many European nations, their governments, and soccer associations have spent a great deal of time, money and human resources to come to grips with these so called “Soccer Hooligans,” and done so quite successfully. And while ridding the stadiums and banning these soccer-fan bad-boys, the various clubs also created a more strenuous control of the fireworks, smoke bombs and chanting.

In fact, today the previously violent and hated “Hooligans” are now seen more like a homogenous group of

overzealous fans, rather than a demonized, crazed and malicious horde. They have become an intricate part of the soccer game, and although their hullabaloos are still in some cases violent and destructive, there has been a significant change in their behavior, as they now often enhance the game, rather than take away from it.

In spite of this, there are several derbies that create such tensions among their supporters that it is well beyond the grasp of common sense. And in stark contrast to the name-calling between Boston Red Sox- and Yankee fans, what goes on before/at/after these games needs to be experienced to be appropriately described.

This week’s rivalry and perhaps Europe’s most fierce, is that of FC Celtic and Glasgow Rangers FC. Founded in 1887 and 1873, respectively, Celtic (green and white colors) and Rangers (blue, red and white colors) are both from Glasgow in Scotland and their rivalry represents more than mere sports: Celtic’s fan base is historically Catholic, and the Rangers’

Protestant.

Celtic who play at Celtic Park with a capacity of 60,000 people have 38 league titles, 31 Scottish cup titles, 12 league cups, and one European cup title in 1967 to their name.

The Glasgow Rangers who call the 50,000 strong Ibrox Stadium home boast a mind-blowing 50 league titles, 31 Scottish cup titles, 23 league cups, and one European Cup-Winners Cup title from 1972.

These two clubs have an especially avid distain for each another as it is fueled by religious differences.

Their games are referred to as the “Old Firm” derby. It is made even more potent by the fact that only seventeen times since 1890-91 have Celtic or Glasgow Rangers failed to win the Scottish league championship. Needless to say this means whoever wins these games will in all probability be crowned champions of Scotland.

Celtic supporters are referred to as “Tims,” a combination from the name of Catholic gangs who called themselves the Tim Malloys and the Calton area of Glasgow. Rangers’

fans call themselves Billy boys (from an infamous Protestant razor gang in the late 1920’s) and the gang’s founder, Billy Fullerton.

The games played between these powerhouses of Scottish soccer is what fans from both teams wait for in the off-season, so when they finally arrive, the city of Glasgow erupts in a soccer frenzy, often beginning a week before the games themselves.

One game will especially be remembered, but not because of the result of the game, but rather the horrifying scenes that followed that afternoon on January 2 1971, at Ibrox Stadium. The steel barriers on Stairway 13 gave way when fans were leaving the stadium and a total of sixty-six people were caught, and subsequently fell on each other.

Some died on impact and others suffocated to death after the initial crash of the structure.

Ibrox Stadium was later rebuilt in memory of these people, and today when the Glasgow Rangers play at home against Celtic, there is always a brief moment of silence remembering those that died.

This Week in Sports Alex Brustowicz Section Contributor Detroit Pitcher Ugueth Urbina’s mother rescued fter spending more than five months in captivity as a prisoner of Venezuelan and Colombian drug smugglers, the mother of Tigers pitcher Ugueth Urbina was finally rescued. Maura Villarreal, age 54, was reunited with her family after a Venezuelan police party managed to free her in a raid that lasted eight hours. One captor was killed and two were injured during the raid, while at least seven others remain on the run.

Villarreal was unharmed during the rescue. The captors were demand-

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ing a six million dollar ransom from Urbina for the return of his mother.

Chris Webber traded to 76ersThe Sacramento Kings traded AllStar Chris Webber to Philadelphia, shaking up the Eastern Conference and making the mediocre 76ers legitimate contenders. More importantly, the Kings found themselves shipping away their leader in a questionable trade that could really hurt the Kings in the future. Webber may be turning 32 next week and still recovering from serious knee surgery, but that’s no excuse for sending away an All-Star for 3 power forwards that probably won’t help you win. All that extra salary doesn’t help either.

Other important NBA trades-

Keith Van Horn traded to the Dallas Mavericks, Antoine Walker traded to the Boston Celtics, Baron Davis traded to GS Warriors Vikings trade WR Randy MossThe Minnesota Vikings traded Randy Moss this past Wednesday to the Oakland Raiders for linebacker Napoleon Harris and the Raider’s first round pick in this year’s draft. The trade appears to be beneficial for both teams, with the Vikings hoping to rebuild and the Raiders just hoping to become a good team again. Moss may be a little crazy, but he’s still considered by many to be one of the most talented receivers in the NFL and will be a major factor for Oakland if healthy.

EL HERALDO Noticias Del Mundo Laura Geisenheimer Section Contributor

Colombia - Recent rebel attacks in Colombia have destroyed the beliefs that Colombia’s main rebel group, The Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC), no longer created a threat for the nation. This weekend’s attacks included a hotel explosion killing 5 people, the bombing of a major TV and radio network, and the torching of a bus on a major highway. Despite U.S military aid and Colombia’s President Alvaro Uribe’s attempts to suppress the rebellions, the FARC number between 12,000-17,000 members and are effectively hiding in the Andes Mountains which run through the center of the Country. FARC claimed that this was only the beginning of bloodier attacks to come while Uribe is planning to station more expert war combatants throughout the countryside.

Brazil - Dorothy Stang, an American nun who was fighting to protect the Amazon rain forest and the peasants living there was shot dead on February 12 in Para, Brazil. Conflicts are common on this territory among peasants, residents, ranchers, and land speculators. Rayfran das Neves Sales who was taken into custody on Sunday is believed to be one of two gunmen involved in the

murder. Authorities are still searching for the second gunman as well as a rancher who is believed to have ordered the shooting.

Peru - Archeologists have made a great discovery that may be older than the country’s famous Nazca lines, which are on the United Nation’s Cultural Heritage List and are one of Peru’s top tourist attractions. They discovered a group of figures scraped into the hills of Peru’s southern coastal desert.

These 50 giant figures were carved into the earth over an area of roughly 90 square miles near the city of Palpa. These drawings include human, bird, monkey and feline figures and are believed to be created by people of the Paracas Culture between 600 and 100 B.C Announcements Announcements-The Latin American Organization invites all of the HWS community to join us at our weekly meetings every Wednesday at 7:00pm in the Intercultural Affairs house. This Wednesday March 9, 2004, there will be no meeting because it is the week before spring break. We wish everyone a safe, fun and warm last vacation of the semester. Enjoy!!!!!

On behalf of the entire Caribbean Student Association Board we would like to thank all of the members of the HWS and Geneva community who came out and showed their support at the annual Come Celebrate Diversity Dinner. This

year’s event was one of the most diverse and exciting event thus far.

Those who came out got a taste of authentic Caribbean food cooked by a William Smith alumna who was at one point Prime Minister of the club. We were also fortunate to have a Caribbean band who kept the celebration going from the dinner all the way to the late in the night at the after party in the barn. Once again thank you to all who helped out and participated.

Creative Writing This poem was performed by Nekai Johnson during the Come Celebrate Diversity Dinner: Close your eyes.

Tell me what you see. Now, picture this: Latinos swaying their hips and stomping their feet to the rhythmic beat of the African drum. White people eating sancocho while sipping on Puerto Rican rum Asians, Haitians, Jamaicans, Caucasians— Talking about emancipation and ancient civilization Enjoying the aftertaste of lime cassava Sliding down the waterfalls of Dunn River Falls Let’s break down walls. Let’s listen to the music of Celia Cruz,

Dance to the love ballads of John Legend, Or do the Irish dance in a multicolo r e d kimonoWith matching colored hair pins, Holding up the Dominican dubee. Culturally diffuse yourself in a world That’s not like your own... Abolish the foolish concepts: Assimilation and ethnocentrism, And learn to appreciate your identity while Learning to accept others. Now, open your eyes and look around you. This is diversity.

In Honor of Women’s History Month Mayda del Valle is a very talented Puerto Rican poet born and raised in the south side of Chicago. She has become a great role model for young children and has accomplished many things in her short life. Del Valle won the National Poetry Slam in Seattle in Au-

gust of 2001 and also won the Individual National Poetry Slam title.

She became the first poet from the internationally respected Nuyorican Poet’s Cafe, the youngest poet, and the first Latina to win this title. She began performing her own writing while in high school and since then has been very successful at this which is what she loves to do.

Mayda del Valle is also a performer in Russell Simmons Def Poetry Jam. Del Valle uses her culture, her experiences as a minority student at a small liberal art college and experiences while growing up to create poetry—things that many people can relate to. We had the great opportunity to have Mayda del Valle at our campus on February 19, 2004 when she performed in the Cellar Pub. If you were one of the people present while she performed, it is very obvious that she definitely has a passion for what she does.

She has lots of energy while performing and transfers this energy and enthusiasm to her audience.

OSCAR EDITION the HERALD Page 4

New Look Oscars Jonah Levy A+E Contributor

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scar weekend has passed early once again, and this year our generation has been paid extra special attention.

The Academy has made an effort to attract younger audiences this year. Understandably so, we are greatest group of moviegoers, as well as the prime target for advertisers. Due to this, we have been granted a host more likely to draw our attention than Billy Crystal, the schlemiel of yester-Oscar-years: Chris Rock. The set has also been designed with a bit more pizzazz and use of dozens of screens throughout the stage and audience area, for those of us with short attention spans.

Despite this effort to spice up the awards ceremony, the event was rather predictable. Jamie Foxx’s uncanny performance as the late Ray Charles won him his first Oscar. Morgan Freeman, a doubtlessly fine actor won for Best Supporting Actor for his performance as the half-blind ex-boxer in Million Dollar Baby. Personally, I didn’t find his performance to be terribly incredible, but he was long overdue considering this was his fourth nomination. The ceremony made history again as the winners of both male categories was African American for the first time ever. Cate Blanchett’s reproduction of well known Academy Award Winner Katherine Hepburn in Scorcese’s epic biopic The Aviator won for best supporting actress. Ms. Blanchett was a hands down favorite this year.

I felt she successfully captured the socially warm but wild side of Ms. Hepburn during the glamorous period of the 20’s in Hollywood.

Hillary Swank won her second Oscar in six years for her performance of thick-skinned Maggie Fitzgerald, the rising boxer of Clint Eastwood’s Million Dollar Baby.

Million Dollar Baby which won best film of the year was, in my opinion, the least deserving of the category. Granted it was not a great year for films; although I rooted for The Aviator, I was aware that it was surely not the best film of the year; I simply felt that it was the only competition against Baby.

In the back of my head, I somehow knew that Eastwood’s unoriginal, highly overrated and grimily charmless boxer drama would be awarded the last Oscar of the night. Never saw it? Allow me to synopsize: Crusty old boxing manager (Eastwood) loses his top client, and refuses to train devoted street rat Maggie (Swank). He mutters the entirely never-before-heard line “I don’t train girls” a few times (with the help of a rat down his throat, which remains throughout the entire film). But guess what: she’s got a lot of heart! So he agrees on one condition; she doesn’t ask questions. The thing is, she won’t stop

asking questions, which makes their relationship so adorable, but she’s also a training machine (depicted by a montage of her running up and down a beach and doing sit-ups).

So she and all her pent up anger gets in the ring and guess what?! She shoots straight to the top! The next thing you know it, he’s the father she never had and she’s the daughter who never forgave him. Would you believe it?!

The only thing redeemable in this film is Hillary Swank’s unparalleled performance (interestingly enough, she beat out Annette Bening again this year, who lost to Ms. Swank in 2000 despite her powerful performance in American Beauty). Also, the controversial and beautifully shot ending nearly compensated for this dime-a-dozen film.

The second biggest disappointment of the evening in my opinion was the fifth time Martin Scorcese lost in the category of best director.

I admit it is extremely difficult to judge on this category. After all, how do you know what a director has done? You can’t be sure in what degree he’s inspired the actors, had a part in set design, art direction, or cinematography (These last three Oscars fortunately and understandably went to The Aviator). The content of the film is due to the screenwriter and the actual production is the job of the producers, so again, how does one judge a director? I am in agreement that he was slightly out of his element in the biopic genre, after his previous nominations were in films such as Taxi Driver, Goodfellas, and Raging Bull. It may just be me, but I felt that when Eastwood rose in his seat to accept his award, in the corner of the shot I really felt I saw a genuine smile on Scorcese’s face as he applauded; after all, Eastwood did win the Directors Guild Award this year as well.

The highlights of the Oscars this year was in the Screenplay category. Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor won for their adaptation of the novel by Rex Pickett. I felt very strongly about the Sideways screenplay; the characters of Miles and Jack were so real and their relationship so tongue-in-cheek. Also, the moonlit discussion about pinot will be preserved as one of the best scenes of modern film history, much thanks to Virginia Madsen, who was nominated for best supporting actress. Mr. Payne was also nominated for best director.

The Best Original Screenplay went to Eternal Sunshine on the Spotless Mind written by Pierre Bismuth, Michel Gondry, and fan favorite Charlie Kaufman. Kaufman is best known for his brilliantly mindbending scripts for Adaptation and Being John Malkovich. Mr. Gondry, the director and crucial collaborator on Eternal Sunshine, was overlooked for the best director nomination this year, but walked away a winner nonetheless.

Bad Look Oscars?

Kailey Voellinger A+E Contributor

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Jamie Foxx Best Actor: Ray

Hillary Swank Best Actress: Million Dollar Baby

Morgan Freeman Best Supporting Actor: Million Dollar Baby

Clint Eastwood Best Director: Million Dollar Baby

Cate Blanchett Best Supporting Actress: Aviator

he 77 th annual Academy Awards ceremony was held last Sunday. It was a starstudded event full of glamour and entertainment. The red carpet entrances, of course, led off the show.

As far as the fashion, many women missed the mark, with similar dresses and bad color selections.

Hillary Swank made a bad dress choice. It looked like she tried on a blue version of the Celine Dion backwards white suit. Can she not learn from other peoples mistakes?

Renee Zellweger looked like an anorexic, pasty Goth. No one cares how much weight she “had to gain” to play Bridget Jones, its not like eating 2 pints of Ben and Jerry’s is that hard. Laura Linney had terrible makeup and hair, and her dress looked like a dead mermaid was hanging off her body. Of course, perennial beauties Halle Berry and Penelope Cruz, who could wear a garbage bags and still look gorgeous, made up for others’ fashion faux pas.

As far as the men of Oscar night, Orlando Bloom looked great, except for the weird disco vest he had on. Is he a lounge singer? Or an actor? I also liked Morgan Freeman with his colorful shawl, and Robin Williams in a pink shirt. They get thumbs up for me for their fashion bravery—I mean thumbs down for their attempts to be cool. Mike Myers’s face appeared as if he had recently had botox injections.

Johnny Depp looked thrift store fabulous in a blue suit and scruffy unkempt beard, and people thought he looked bad last year. I also couldn’t decide what was up with Jake Gyllenhall’s shaved head, and why Al Pacino looked so institutionalized.

Chris Rock hosted the show.

He took it upon himself to take a huge risk, by mocking Bush in front of Hollywood’s liberal elite. Presenters included a stuttering Sean Penn, Annette Bening who lost to Hillary Swank, again, and Prince.

Finally, someone with some fashion sense. He makes purple and size 5.5 shoes look good. Beyonce Knowles sang three Oscar-nominated songs, which of course, was a travesty.

She sang a song in French. Does Beyonce even know French? She was also unable to do justice to the fantastic Andrew Lloyd Webber, and his song from Phantom of the Opera. Another thing I don’t understand is how they got that caked makeup off her eyes between songs. Save some for the rest of us. She also joined Josh Groban in singing “Believe” from The Polar Express. Groban, of course, carried the song, and should have been allowed by the show’s director to handle it alone. Antonio Banderas, also sang a song, accompanied by Carlos Santana, “al Otro Lado del

Rio.” Who knew he could sing? To tell you the truth, he can’t.

Sentimental parts of the show included the night’s theme, “Old Hollywood,” which probably explains the horrible dresses. Also, I love how some of the films celebrated in the medley of memorable movie moments included Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. The montage of dead Hollywood favorites might have made people shed a tear when they remembered that they lined their hamster’s cage with their obituaries months earlier. I think another favorite part of the show was bringing some of the nominees onstage to wait for the award to be given, and brining the presenters out into the audience to read the winner. Oscar doesn’t need an edge. They have been doing the same thing for 76 years. Why change it now? At least the woman in satin pants had something left, her dignity. Wait. No she doesn’t. Who wears satin pants? At least if she was sitting down, no one would have seen that.

Finally, getting to the awards, The Incredibles won best animated feature. Good for them. Not like winning over Shark Tale is something to rave about. Morgan Spurlock failed to win for making us watch him eat McDonald’s and throw up for a month. At least he lost all the weight. I guess he’s not Renee Zellweger, so no one congratulated him, poor Morgan. The Aviator won 5 of its 11 categories including Best Supporting Actress for Cate Blanchette. Do we really love Katharine Hepburn so much that we’re going to reward people that just play her? She’s dead. Get over it. Morgan Freeman won for his role in Million Dollar Baby.

Finally, now he can stop being in movies, doesn’t he know The Shawshank Redemption was the highlight of his career? Hillary Swank, who also won for Million Dollar Baby, wouldn’t shut up after the band started playing. What did she do to deserve her second award? Not every Hollywood actress can play a tomboy…well… like a boy.

The Best Actor was, of course, Jaime Foxx. No surprise there. He’s wearing a purple suit for Pete’s sake. What does he think he is?

Blind? Prince? He also delivered a long speech, and totally cried. Think tough. Act like Hillary Swank. We all know “Boys Don’t Cry.” Clint Eastwood won for best Director, and thanked his 96 year old mom.

How old was she when she had him? Shit, I thought he was 90. The Best picture award also went to Million Dollar Baby. It won 4 of its 7 nominations. Unfortunately, I can’t think of anything to say, except Scorcese got robbed. By a man in a green bow tie. Twice. He has nothing better left to do now than bend over and make himself Dirty Harry’s bitch.

The Matrix 5: Sunnydale, Reloaded Again Alicia Laible A+E Contributor

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he first scene of the movie Constantine opens with a man somewhere in Mexico digging squirrelishly around in the Dirt. He finds a knife (premise of the movie, spear of something or other), stands up, runs nowhere, and gets hit by a random car in the middle of the desert. He totals the car, emerges from the wreckage, and continues running. It all makes you a bit antsy. Next scene, a bit scarier, features a Mexican mother

entering the bathroom to find her daughter crawling around on the ceiling- Exorcist style. I had to close my eyes. The third scene is what nightmares are made of: Keanu Reeves attempts to act.

Before I go on, I want to make something clear: this movie is terrible. It was like watching The Matrix filmed in Sunnydale, except even worse acting.

John Constantine (Reeves) should have been named Neo. They acted the same, dressed very similar, and both lived to defend the world from an alternate universe. The leading la-

dies even looked similar. The editing of the film was very poor. There were several scenes where an actor had blood soaked clothing only to be Tide fresh in the next scene.

They also had an interesting depiction of hell. It looked like the outskirts of a major city, engulfed in flames, with a bunch of abandoned cars. Under the street people were being torn apart by demons for all eternity. Now I forgive them because they don’t know any better.

But let me tell you that I have been to hell n’ back on a soul selling mission and it’s not so bad. We took a

break from the thrashings for cocktail hour every day. Plus I got some great little party favors when leaving.

With all this being said—the bad acting, bad editing, and disregard of a valid plot line—I secretly enjoyed it. I can not believe I am admitting this but I almost liked it. My date, who is also a huge movie buff, tore it to shreds as soon as we left. In true embarrassment, I hid my feelings and tore it apart along with him.

I am not supposed to like bad films.

However, it played to my fascination with cool special effects and

good fight scenes. It appealed to the 12 year old boy inside of me.

Since I recognize this is a bad movie, and I should not find any redeeming qualities in it, I should score it low. I have seen some dynamite films and cursed the mothers of their directors straight to hell for their debauchery. I have reviewed Oscar winning films and swore revenge on the actors. So, for the sake of being true to my style, and going against the norm, I award this movie on the Alicia’s scale form 1 to 10, a straight up 10. Constantine is playing at the Exchange St. Cinema.