22
WILLS
May 16, 2014
Senior wills I, Christina Alfano, will my locker to the Huntley High School building, because no one wants it; my parking spot to any underclassmen that gets it first; my homework to Alex B, because together we will fail. And to my teachers, may my quietness and sarcastic tone always remain in your classroom.
I, Deni Alvarez, will Stef Newman all my “Garfield” comics from grade school; Kellye Davenport a copy of every ticket consequence I’ve ever gotten from our actions; Rachel Recchia a heart; Jillian Jenkins my flexibility and power to resist cafeteria cookies; Mark Skonieczny permission to enter my dorm and eat my kettle corn next year; Cecily Sarcinelli perfume; Ed Ferrante the will power to deal with Randy and Susan; Amina Hasan permission to contact me at any time, day or night, for any reason with a guaranteed response; Lauren Apa a promise to visit often and deliver many hugs; and Kristin Maggiore all the sarcasm and sass in my being and some leg hugs.
I, Michael Ammer, will to Brian Zimmerman my shiny marching band baritone, treat it well, I could not think of anyone better to take my place! Thanks for being awesome. I, Sam Andrews, will to the Senior Class the best of luck in their futures. I also will some height to Kayla Baretto. I will Rachel Zobott a forever lasting friendship. I will some clothes and my room to Ali Andrews. I, Onyeka Anikamadu, will to Taylor Carter my afro. I also will all my chocolate to Jazmine Rosales. I will to my little sister, Chika Anikamadu, the mac and cheese line because she is obsessed. I, Lexi Archambeau, will give Ashley Chapstick so she can continue her morning routine: fist pump, push up, Chapstick. To Zoe, I give you my undying love and please come back to Asgard. We miss you, bro. To Kaelin I give you
money and the food you’ve gotten me. I also will to you my presence for the rest of your life because you’re never getting rid of me. And finally I will to Joseph Stuve a sense of humor and a stress free senior year. I, Holly Baldacci, will all my childhood inside jokes to Julia Molaski; my sweet Hyundai to Gwen Bartot; my “Doctor Who” stuff to Roshni Bhatt; my nail polish to Ashley Secreto because she’ll put it to better use than I did; my rockin’ journalism skills to next year’s The Voice staff; and everything else to Heather Baldacci, even though she already uses all of my stuff anyway. I, Michael Bartot, will to Harrison Hochwarter control of the realm and name him as sole heir to the knighthood. I, Alex Blanchard, will any clothes in my locker to Jackie and any Sociology projects; my never attempted math homework to Meghan, because we’re not friends right? I will my pencils to Cristina, pencil stealer extraordinaire. Any leftover homework completed but never turned in to the garbage cans. And to my teachers, if it was a good time or bad it doesn’t matter because in reality I only liked about two of them. Sorry, not sorry. I also will away every swear word I used when completing homework because let’s face it, all those words don’t even live up to what we all mean. I, Taylor Brooks, will Aparna Sivasankaran my good taste in music and party pants collection. I will to Jaycelin Chan my good times in Colorado. I will to Aparna Sivasankaran my guitar skills. I will to Francesca Milone my Cannonball Sax and rad peace signs. I will to A. Banks a lifetime supply of celestial seasoning tea.
I, Venecia Alvarez, will my crop tops to Aparna Sivasankaran. For Kristen Kostecki, my chocolate chip Pop Tarts, sugary cereals, and my Tumblr account. Please take care of my blog. I will my trampoline to Caitlin Ong. I will all my One Direction posters and merchandise to Adam Urbanski. I will my dog, Zuko, to Ryan Ericson. All my tennis things to the best doubles partner in the world, Pooja Patel. I, Elizabeth Ambrose, will Jimmy the Jeep. I will Nicki an apology from Eminem. I will Michelle friends. I will Lexi Gardocki a poster of my senior night picture so I’m always with her. I will my cheer girls a kickass season next year, wherever they may be cheering. Make it count; it goes by way too fast. I will Zachary to get muscles.
pudding, because pudding. To Allie I give you my moose plush Sam, because “Supernatural” killed my feels. To Amanda I give you my llama. To Emily I give you the exclusive soundtrack to “Human Centipede: The Musical.” To Charlie I give you my magical scepter, it usually works. To Lexi I give you “Boondock Saints,” watch it religiously. To Kora, have Thor, Loki is better anyway. To Josh, I give you S.H.I.E.L.D, hail Hydra. And finally for Chrissy, I give you Doge. Wow. Thank you all, swag. I, Becca Bocian, will to Emily the right to say “swag” and get punched; keep on swaggin’ Em. I will to Gwen all my nail polish so you can paint my nails. To Max, Vitoria, she is mine but I will share. I will to Megan good luck with cute theater boys and rides whenever she needs them. I will to Vitoria at least $100 to cover gas
I, Peter Kelly Campbell, being of sound body and questionable mind, will to Christopher Campbell the rights to drive a powder blue Oldsmobile for three years of high school. Remember Chris, if people trash talk your car, they’re just haters. To Thomas Helm, Jessica Helm, and Lexi Lukowski, I will the next four years at Bradley. To Mr. O’Neill, I will my CAD work station and educational license for inventor because we’re living the CAD life. To Jeffery Carter, I will my Saucony Cohesion 7s and my absolute inability to do push-ups. And now, for the last and most important item in my estate; I will my size and Tony Lama boots to Christopher Campbell, because he needs serious points. I, Amanda Caputi, will to Valarie Hartgraves all of my purple shirts and Ariel from the “Little Mermaid.” I will Lexi Archambeau anything Loki/ Tom Hiddleston. I, Michelle Caputi, will my loud, encouraging voice and yellow headband to Jessica Knutsen. I will my softball pants to Megan Baczewski. I will an endless supply of peanut butter crackers to Shannon Walsh. I will an unlimited supply of goldfish to Haley Spannraft. I will a 6-foot bubble to Jessica Shields at short-stop. I will