Random Acts of Comedy By Josh Overton

Random Acts of Comedy

By Josh Overton This play was commissioned as part of TEN and first performed in March 2019 by 55 members of Hull Truck Theatre’s Young Company. TEN featured 10 ten-minute plays, each based on a year in the decade since Hull Truck Theatre moved in to its Ferensway home.

This play was inspired by 2016’s trend of young people dressing as clowns near forests and schools to scare passing people.

Plot This play sees two young people - dressed as clowns - waiting on a street corner with the intention of scaring passersby.

Notes: Recommended for 14+. This play contains mild bad language.

If you see a Letter or character name in bold on the left, then the dialogue on the right should be spoken by that character.

Text in [brackets] or italics describes what the audience sees or hears on stage that

isn’t dialogue.

About the playwright: Josh Overton is a playwright, poet and bartender in that order. Working with companies up and down the country from his home in Hull he has created work ranging from the dark, violent and political to goofy family friendly nonsense. His latest work includes Dungeons and Dragons: An unofficial adventure (2019) a choose your own adventure family show and Thank You for Doing Nothing (2020) a comedy musical about the spin doctors convincing us to destroy the planet.

Random Acts of Comedy

By Josh Overton Characters K- a boy- late teens C- a girl- late teens [as the night runs on, these two become less and less intense, the cold and rain encouraging them to get tired and bored] A WOMAN- a woman?

A MAN- a man?

K: It is October 28th, 2016, with Brexit behind us and Trump still very much ahead, I am stood on a city street corner in the semi-pouring rain.

C: It is not hammering it down K: No, It is not pissing it down, and in this moment, funny is all I’m focused on. Stood as I am, at the crossing across from some restaurant where some small man wearing a suit made up of the blandest colours sits in the window half eating a meal made up of the blandest ingredients, watching his wife, who with one hand liberally sips wine most likely imported from Lidl and re-labelled while the other hand holds a fork which half-heartedly pokes at the corpse of her pasta. I have only one thought.

C: Die. K: Yes die, die now.

C: There is nothing worse, K: Nothing, C: Than seeing the boring grey blob people so satisfied.

K: It starts to rain harder, I can feel it through my hair.

C: Than seeing the boxiest of squares waste their lives happy K: I test my face but it seems like my make-ups holding out for now. So I’m not too fussed.

C: Makes me feel sick. Wonder how many suit wearing half measures are wandering about? Wasting what little time we all have.

K: Really cold though.

C: There is only so much oxygen on the planet K: In order for this to work you can’t wear a coat. Spoils the illusion i reckon.

C: You are not machines, you are not cattle, you are men.

K: Someone’s coming, [he extends a hand] ‘bout forty feet, in that direction.

C: You’re supposed to make your life matter K: Doesn’t matter who they are, that’s kinda the point of this, random acts of comedy.

C: I couldn’t find a knife in the house, not one that looked particularly lethal so I’ve got this two pronged spiky fork thing that looks proper threatening.

K: I’ve got an ordinary kitchen knife, the kind you’d cut a cake with, nice, straight forward, easy. The simpler the better.

C: 20 feet, K: Its a feeling you won’t ever forget C: 10 K: Ye get this screaming sensation in your stomach, excitement, like every second of your stupid life has been building up to this point, at break-neck, crash your car, speed, you can hear your pulse pounding out rhythms in your ear drums, nothing will be the same after this all important, all-encompassing experience, you feel like an animal and a king and a monster andC: 5 K: Then calm, cold, clear, ready. Ready?

C: Ready.

A WOMAN enters from the direction K pointed, she is exceptionally normal looking As she passes between K and C they both half lunge at her in an attempt to be startling WOMAN acknowledges them with surprise and irritation and without breaking her stride.

WOMAN: Go and drown, ye freaks.

WOMAN exits.

C and K burst into fits of laughter C: That was brilliant, scared her mental K: Yeah, God, how do I look, how do I look?

C: Good, yeah, good, well, the rains not got your facepaint yet but it looks like it might soon.

K: Yeah?

C: Yeah you’re gonna go a bit smudgy if we stay out much longer.

K: oh.

C: [to us] I wore a mask.

K: [touching his face without thinking] Oh. C: I said to him, I did, I predicted this.

K: They’ll see me,

C: Masks don’t melt when it rains.

K: What should I do?

C: What ye should do is listen to me when I talk all clever at you.

K: Shut up.

C: Not very fun loving that is it.

K: I don’t like being patronized C: Then you’d better like smudgy facepaint face.

K: Shut up.

C: wow you are the sour-est little Klown aren’t you.

K: I could go home and get more, touch it up ye know? Chance (ave) is literally round the corner.

C: Your mum’ll eat your head if she sees ye dressed up like that.

K: She can do one.

C: I’ve never been less scared of you, and you’re holding a knife.

K shuts up, annoyed with himself for showing vulnerability.

C searches for a way to distract him.

C: You know I can’t remember how this started.

K: America C: Its always America innit.

K: Yeah C: Some maniac K: Legend C: Probably living in some no-where village without internet K: Or TV C: Goes around scaring kids in the park or whatever K: haha C: Probably cause he’s bored out his mind K: Or, right, he’s a performance art genius, C: Yeah?

K: Yeah, like sticking a middle finger up to, you know, normal society and that, pushing back against all the grey, worthless nothing they say you’re supposed to do with your life.

C: They?

K: You know…them.

C: Oh right, well he makes the local news. ‘Creepy monster clown boy stalks totally innocent townsfolk.’ Or something like that.

K: ‘More killer clowns seen being all weird in the park’ C: ‘Terrifying Klown menace eats local dog’ K: ‘ ‘AH DUN SEEN HIM IN MA BUSHES’ says local moron.’

C: ‘More stabby clown criminals seen every day’ C: And now its here.

They both wave.

C: You know I feel like it was Newcastle actually, the first klown.

K: Hmm. Italy?

C: Italy was before Canada but after us.

K: Well when did we…

C: I dunno.

Pause K: We are Clowns C: Klowns K: Clowns…Are youC: Klowns K: Are you saying yours with a ‘K’C: Klowns K: instead of a ‘C’?

C: Yup. They spell it with a K K: No they don’t C: It’s scarier with a K K: No it isn’t C: You want it to match -Killer and KlownK: Stupid.

C: Nah it’s smart marketing mate, looks snappier on the headline don’t it. Why do you think the Ku Klux Klan do it? They’re grade A thickos but even they must know how to spell ‘clan’ properly. Alliteration is key when you’re trying to grab people’s attention K: You don’t think the clown costumes and knives is attention grabbing enough?

C: WellK: That’s literally the whole point isn’t it.

C: I thought the point was to “push back against social norms and scare all the grey blob people what are walking around wasting their lives and that” K: Well yeah, and if we ever get interviewed for the news or arrested by the police thats exactly what I’m gonna say. But ye don’t think announcing to the world we’re special and exciting and all that would be way harder if we were just sat all quiet on a bench instead of making people think they might die of horrible knife-y murder? Attention grabbing is like 90% of this whole thing. Bad spelling isn’t gonna make us stick out any more than we already do.

C: So we have to be the centre of attention to make a point?

K: Exactly C: Which just so happens to also be loads of fun and make you feel good about yourself.

K: Sure C: Convenient.

K: Yep. C spots an approaching pedestrian C: Oh dude, K: Oh for- do I look alright?

C: Haha just about, couple more minutes and you’ll look like an smooshed egg.

K: God’s sake.

C: You shouldn’t keep touching it K: urgh C: Well too late now, A MAN enters, and the pair very half-heartedly attempt to freak him out. He looks them up and down MAN: Grow up.

MAN exits Pause, C: I’m cold

Pause K: Yeah sod this They exit