Living with children What's with the Hong Kong protests?

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Taylor Kovar

Hi TaylorWhat’s up with the protests in Hong Kong? Feels like they’ve been going on for a long time now and I’m not really sure I understand what it’s all about. - Anthony

Hey Anthony - You’re right, the people of Hong Kong have been taking to the streets for over six months. Unless you’re following closely, it’s hard to keep track of why it all started and where it’s headed. I’ll try to give a condensed recap.

For starters, to understand any of it you need to know about the semi-autonomous relationship Hong Kong has with mainland China. After ending its run as a British colony in 1997, Hong Kong was absorbed by China but with a “one country, two systems” arrangement, allowing Hong Kong to operate democratically, unlike the autocratic system under the Communist Party of China (CPC). The people in Hong Kong have far more rights and freedoms than the rest of the Chinese.

Back in April, an extradition bill was introduced that would have had certain criminals in Hong Kong transported to the mainland for their trials. Protests started immediately since this kind of law would undermine the separate governing and legal systems, plus it seemed to many like another way for the Chinese government to crackdown on dissent.

The CPC sent tanks and troops in a show of intimidation as the protests grew to the massive numbers you may have seen on TV. The bill ended up getting suspended, but most people in opposition assumed it would just come back to the floor as soon as the resistance died down, so protesting efforts continued and amplified until we got to August when one of the Hong Kong airports was shut

In October and now into midNovember, violence has spiked and a few protestors have been seriously injured. While the bill was officially abandoned in September, the ongoing protests have become more about the rights of assembly and free speech.

We’re hearing a lot about Hong Kong because it’s such a clear clash of democracy and authoritarianism. While one specific bill incited all this, there are much bigger issues at the core of the debate. With China’s economy having so much global sway and so many direct links to our own markets (as we have seen over the past few months with the trade war), we’re seeing a mix of reactions when it comes to how people respond to the actions taken by the Chinese government.

Now, since a handful of nonviolent protestors have been met with violence, it’s hard to imagine things calming down anytime soon. I’m praying for the injured and hoping that a peaceful resolution is reached before things escalate further. Democracy is a fragile thing and it’s a little unnerving to see these struggles happening within a global superpower.

Taylor Kovar, CEO of Kovar Capital. Read more about Taylor at GoFarWithKovar.com

Disclaimer: Information presented is for educational purposes only and is not an offer or solicitation for the sale or purchase of any specific securities, investments, or investment strategies. Investments involve risk and, unless otherwise stated, are not guaranteed. Be sure to first consult with a qualified financial adviser and/or tax professional before implementing any strategy discussed herein. To submit a question to be answered in this column, please send it via email to Question@GoFarWithKovar.com, or via USPS to Taylor Kovar, 415 S 1st St, Suite 300, Lufkin, TX 75901.

After a recent talk in South Florida, women came up to me in droves asking, “How much should I help my children with their schoolwork?”

That not one man asked the question speaks loudly to the state of parenting in postmodern America. Men don’t ask the question because they know they are not trusted to do BIG parenting stuff like ensure their kids’ academic success.

My answer: “I can’t quantify that for you, but I do know that the more you help your child with his or her schoolwork, the more you will be called upon by said child to help. A child’s belief that he can’t do something is rarely factbased; it’s usually instilled by well-meaning people, as in, his parents.”

Before drilling deeper into this ubiquitous issue, a few facts are in order:

FACT: Children do not know what they need. They only know what they want. When a child says he “needs” something, it’s all but certain that he does not NEED the something in question; he only WANTS it. That definitely applies to a child saying he needs help with schoolwork.

FACT: Children have a low tolerance for frustration. “I can’t!” is their default response to difficulty of any sort.

FACT: Children do not know what they are capable of. They must be forced to push the limitations they impose on their abilities.

FACT: Children are soap opera factories. They are prone to exaggerating the significance of anything they experience. Making mountains out of molehills is a child’s nature.

When my daughter Amy entered high school, she began taking algebra. Right off the bat, she had difficulty understanding the equations and asked me for help. For the first two weeks of her freshman year, I helped her sort out x, y, and n. Then I realized she was becoming dangerously dependent on me and so, before things went any further downhill, I told her I was done helping her.

“I’ve gotten you off to a good start, Amos,” I said. “The rest is up to you.”

“One more night, daddy? Please?” “Nope. I’m out of the algebra business as of five minutes ago.”

She wanted to negotiate. I wouldn’t. Before long, she was weeping and wailing and accusing me of wanting her to fail. Then she begged. I stood firm, so she wept and wailed some more. Then she wouldn’t talk to me (a blessing of sorts). For three days this went on. Finally, she gave up. Her final salvo was, “Don’t be surprised if I get an F in algebra!”

She got an A in algebra. I honestly do not think she would have been able to ace algebra if I had continued to “help” her.

FACT: Every time a parent helps a child who has said he “can’t” and “needs” the help, the child’s tolerance for academic frustration goes down a notch, all but guaranteeing that said child will (a) continue to believe he “can’t” and (b) ask for help more and more often. This is the curriculum for “How to Grow an Incompetent, Academically Anxious Child 101.” Do some children need the help? (Also phrased as: Do some children need more help than others?) Yes, but the above FACTS pertain to all children. All children, therefore, need parents who will set limits on the nature of any help they give and the amount of time they will spend per day or week giving it.

Just remember: YOU need to call it quits. Your child will not.

Family psychologist John Rosemond: johnrosemond.com, parent guru.com.

John Rosemond has worked with families, children, and parents since 1971 in the field of family psychology. In 1971, John earned his masters in psychology from Western Illinois University and was elected to the Phi Kappa Phi National Honor Society.