Successfully re-entering the workforce

you’ll have opportunitie advancement wherever crunch the numbers and if you can start small wi hurting yourself financi

Sometimes taking a pay to be the first step in a l fulfilling career

Living with children

32-year-old starting from scratch?

- Tony

Hey Tony - I hope the time off was refreshing! Nice that you were able to step out of the workforce for a minute and enjoy yourself As for what you do next, start by thinking about what you want generally, then see if you can narrow it down to a few select fields

1. Where do you want to be? Whether it’s a new city or a specific part of the town you live in, where you go definitely affects how much you like your job Maybe you could even take this opportunity to start working from home! If your last job had you sitting behind a desk and you got tired of that, perhaps you’ll enjoy something a little more physical that has you working outdoors If you aren’t tied to your current location, there could be good jobs in an area where the cost of living is lower Or, maybe you don’t care at all about where you work and just want to find a company you love “Where” is a good first question to ask yourself, no matter what the answer is

2 How much do you need to make? We all want big paychecks, but it’s so much more important to do something you enjoy By making a budget and figuring out what you really need to make to get by each month, you could free yourself up to take an entry-level position at a company you really like instead of heading straight for a management job at a company you aren’t that fond of Assuming

3 What industries are o By giving yourself a blank slate, you have the opportunity to look at all the different job markets If you were laid off from your previous job, maybe that’s because your old industry is struggling and it wouldn’t be wise to try and go back Instead, read about emerging business models and see if anything piques your interest I’ve got a post up at GoFarWithKovarcom identifying 10 trending businesses that might give you some ideas for where to look

My biggest piece of advice for your job hunt is to stay openminded The best job in the world could be hiding in plain sight, so be open to everything and don’t sell yourself short Good luck, Tony!

Taylor Kovar, CEO of Kovar Capital Read more about Taylor at GoFarWithKovar com

Disclaimer: Information presented is for educational purposes only and is not an offer or solicitation for the sale or purchase of any specific securities, investments, or investment strategies

Investments involve risk and, unless otherwise stated, are not guaranteed Be sure to first consult with a qualified financial adviser and/or tax professional before implementing any strategy discussed herein To submit a question to be answered in this column, please send it via email to Question@GoFarWithKovar com, or via USPS to Taylor Kovar, 415 S 1st St, Suite 300, Lufkin, TX 75901

Q: Some friends of ours who’ve read a couple of your books and attended one of your talks told us that they solved some major discipline problems with their 4-year-old just by using what they called alpha speech. They tried to explain it to us, but we’d like to get it straight from the horse’s mouth, so to speak Would you please help us better understand what they were talking about, and are there other parenting authors who say the same thing?

A: The concept of alpha speech is not original to me In generations past, it was widely understood to be the essence of proper child discipline I simply named it. I also refer to it as leadership speech Regardless, it is the very traditional understanding that the successful discipline of a child is more a matter of properly conveying authority than properly using consequences (albeit the latter is also important)

As a rule, today’s parents believe in behavior modification They believe in techniques, such as time out and star charts and approaches of that sort, approaches that involve the manipulation of reward and punishment Somewhat derisively, I refer to them as “consequence delivery systems ”

The wrong-headed notion that correct consequences, used correctly, would solve just about any behavior problem became popularized in the 1970s The mental health professional community claimed that rewards and praise – the operative meme was “catch ‘em being good” –would strengthen good behavior while punishment and ignoring would weaken bad behavior It all sounded quite simple, utopian even, but we now know, or should, that what works quite reliably with rats and dogs does not work nearly as well with human beings

In fact, researchers have found that reward and punishment, when used with children, can be and often are counterproductive, which goes a long way toward explaining why the behavior and discipline of children has become increasingly problematic since parents began

Relying On Behavior Modification

Alpha speech rests on the simple and historically verified proposition that “a child’s natural response to the proper presentation of authority is obedience ” Before venturing any further, I need to stress that obedience on the part of a child is definitely in the child’s best interest The more obedient the child, the more relaxed and happy the child, which is precisely the opposite of what mental health folks alleged

Alpha speech in four parts: (1) When giving instruction to a child, speak from a fully upright position (as opposed to the silliness of “getting down to the child’s level ”

(2) Use the fewest words possible

(3) Do not explain yourself, but simply tell the child what you want him to do in a matter-of-fact tone

(4) When a child wants to know “Why?” (which is what children ask in the absence of an explanation), your answer should be “Because I said so” or a variation thereof

For example, if you want a child to put on his coat and wait by the front door, you say, “I want you to put on your coat and wait for me by the front door” You DON’T say, “I have to go down the street and give a casserole to Miss Gloria and it would really help Mommy if you’d put on your coat because it’s chilly out and wait for me by the front door” That approach is likely to draw resistance of one sort or another

Alpha speech is nothing more than saying what you mean and meaning what you say It is employed by effective leaders, thus the alternate label It is neither threatening or promising Oh, and when the child obeys, it is best to say simply “Thank you” without an exclamation point as opposed to “Good boy! Mommy’s going to take her little man to the ice cream store later today!”

In discipline, as in decorating, less is usually more

Family psychologist John Rosemond: johnrosemond com, parentguru com

John Rosemond has worked with families, children, and parents since 1971 in the field of family psychology In 1971, John earned his masters in psychology from Western Illinois University and was elected to the Phi Kappa Phi National Honor Society