Open wide

By Chris Campbell

I’ll cut right to the chase. I hate the dentist a lot

Don’t get me wrong – I don’t hate people who are dentists It’s just the institution of dentistry that I despise. I go for my checkup twice a year like a good little boy, but only because dads are supposed to be a good example. But the experiences from my childhood have scarred me deeply

This past week I took my middle son to the dentist He had to have a crown replaced, and then we had a consultation with an Orthodontist.

The Orthodontist walked in the room, extended her hand to introduce herself, and instantly I was gripped with fear My blood ran cold and my knees buckled Much like Pavlov’s dog I had been conditioned to feel terror and utter dread when in the presence of an Orthodontist

As a young boy I was an Orthodontist's dream My Orthodontist sent three kids to Ivy League colleges from my mouth alone! I had a set of front teeth that beavers dreamed about My overbite was the inspiration for the board game “Hungry Hungry Hippos ” I was granted honorary citizenship to the nation of Great Britain based solely on my teeth.

And while I will be forever indebted to my parents and the execution, uh, I mean Orthodontist they found for me I will also be forever tortured of the things I endured

Hours upon hours of my mouth wide open with the aroma of cement and nitrous oxide wafting through the air, with enough rubber bands entwined in my mouth to create a second Michelin man Today’s dental patients are treated to any manner of television shows while under the care of their Orthodontist I, on the other hand, was subjected to the greatest hits of Bread, Poco and Gordon Lightfoot (truth be told I still get the shakes anytime I hear “Sundown” or “The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald”) That music combined with the haunting hums of the Orthodontists torture chamber and that constant running water from the miniature toilet bowl lulled me into a stupor from which I could hardly emerge.

Oh and let’s not forget we PAY FOR THIS!

These memories were coursing through my mind as the Orthodontist and her financial advisor did a quick assessment of my son They threw out fancy terms (most of them made up words, a la The Three Stooges), made quizzical faces and cast pained glances at one another Outwardly they were showing concern for my son; inwardly, they were debating whether they should take the TEN day cruise or buy the red Corvette

The Orthodontist thanked me for my time and then escorted me to another room where I was given a rundown of the prospective bill

It’s at that moment that my memory goes foggy I remember waking up and seeing my son sitting off to my right as I was muttering the phrase “second mortgage, second mortgage, second mortgage.” Noah was shaking his head – much the way my children do whenever I attempt some sort of athletic feat The financial representative asked me if was okay but I could only stare blankly at nod my head As Noah and I rose to leave, I could faintly hear in the distance:

“The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down of the big lake they call Gitche Gumee ”

Top Dogs

Fourth grade: Dax Foster, Kimberly Gonzalez, Kolin Murphy, Alex Jones

Third grade: Michael Clark, Lucas Reese, Kai Hudson, Jackson Malta

Second grade: Eisley Zolfaghari, Kelton Denham, Preston Reeves, Gage Carr

First grade: Javier Torres, Samaire Moss, Jaileigh Murphy, Chris Torres

Kindergarten: Michael Gonzalez, Brinley Zolfaghari, -Isabel Henley, -Kennedy Garner

CORRECTION:

A-HONOR ROLL

First Six Weeks Period

5th Grade

YAIR AYALA, KORIE BOUSE, JENTRIE DOTY, AUSTIN HALEY, DANIELLE, HARGROVE, RYAN HOUGH, AUDIE MARTIN, OLIVIA MORRIS, JANNA NITCHMAN TREY PHILLIPS, TEAGAN STUBBLEFIELD, EMMA

SUTHERLAND

6th Grade

EMORY RHOTEN, AVERY SNAPP, ELIJAH WILSON

7th Grade

JACKSON ADKINS, MARISSA AGEE, ALEXANDRA BLOUNT

HOLLY CAVENDER, KATIE GROGAN, KRISTON HARRIS TATUM HARTSFIELD JESSICA MCADAMS, MASON MOREAU

8th Grade

CASSIDY ANDERSON, BAILEY BOND, PAETYN FORD, LANE GRIFFIN, JENNA HONORE, KYLIE HOPPER, ZANE HUGHES VALERIE LANGFORD, AMANDA MILLER, KACIE MORGAN, JAMIE TAYLOR, RILEY UNDERWOOD, MICAELA WADE, ASHLYN WAHRMUND, JACKSON WILSON, MOLLY WILSON

The Texas Rangers in its long history in the state has produced legendary figures in its quest to uphold the law. Captain William Jesse McDonald was one of many examples. McDonald's life had led him to serve at different times as a school teacher, shopkeeper, rancher, and eventually becoming one of the most respected law men in Texas

He was born in 1852 in eastern Mississippi He was still a child when his father, Enoch McDonald, volunteered to fight with the Confederacy during the Civil War But in 1862, his father was killed at the Battle of Corinth After, his widowed mother took them to Henderson County in East Texas

He was stubborn from a young age. At the age of 16 in 1868, he reportedly got into a fight with Union troops and found himself charged with treason. Only the intervention of a prominent local officials resulted in the charges being dropped