HRM Houseline Spring 2020 by houseruthmd

HouseLine

Never Give Up

It took 7 years of physical, emotional and mental anguish for Anna to reach out. Her abusive partner was her child’s father so she felt pressured to make it work. “Then one day, he tried to kill me, the police took him away and he went to jail for 3 months. My son witnessed it all and I knew I had to get out,” Anna recounts, “I was so scared, and then I reached out to House of Ruth Maryland [HRM] and things began to look up.” After reaching out and working with her Service Coordinator, Salam Berhane, Anna and her son were put up in a hotel through HRM’s hotel placement program for a few days. They also worked through safety planning for the future for Anna and her son.

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This safety plan touched many facets of Anna and her son Carmen’s life; Anna’s abusive partner knew where she worked, she feared he might attempt to run her out of the job. According to the National Network Against Domestic Violence, nearly 99% of victims experience economic abuse, [which] involves maintaining control over financial resources, withholding access to money, or attempting to prevent a victim or survivor from working in an effort to create financial dependence as a means of control. At the suggestion of Anna’s Service Coordinator, Anna put in a request for a location transfer from the hotel she worked at and she began to excel. Anna rapidly advanced from room attendant to room attendant supervisor due to her experience and recommendations. “I needed a job, a safe place to work, where he couldn’t find me. Even though I wasn’t sure what all of these changes would be like, I knew I had to do it to keep my son and I safe” Anna affirms.

In addition to this job transfer, Anna and her son were able to enroll in our Safe Homes program; where a survivor is placed in a housing agreement with a landlord, both pre-evaluated, and House of Ruth Maryland provides step-down rental assistance. Continued on page 2

cont. from cover story

“Providing small amounts of financial assistance for survivors to be in safe, stable housing, that is not known by the abusive partner, is a big step in starting over after experiencing significant trauma and continuing to work through it,” said Janice Miller, Director of Programs and Clinical Services at House of Ruth Maryland.

In addition to stabilizing their housing situation, Anna completed a financial literacy course sponsored by AllState Foundation’s Purple Purse Campaign and hosted by House of Ruth Maryland partner, the YWCA National Capital Area. The courses’ teacher, Michele Noel-Peake, an experienced and passionate facilitator, explains “Allstate developed the curriculum years ago, and we really cover a lot, from recognizing the signs of financial and economic abuse, home and auto loans, understanding and building your credit, budgeting basics, and even investing your money. Acquiring control of your own finances and being able to manage it, it’s a big part to rebuilding” Noel-Peake acknowledges. Several HRM clients were able to be a part of the first Maryland cohort to take the class. “It’s one of the best classes I’ve ever taken, it’s really helped me a lot in outlining my finances for the future” Anna reviews.

When asked what she would tell other victims, Anna said “receiving help from House of Ruth Maryland and the community gave me the courage to get up and leave, because people think it’s easy, and it’s never easy. I was so scared, and House of Ruth Maryland was my guide, always pointing me in the right direction. Where I’ve gotten to is amazing.”

Epilogue:

On the morning of going to print, Anna’s story took a turn that is all too familiar for victims. An update from Salam: “Anna could not afford childcare, and her abusive partner is only paying a small amount in child support, so the childcare was being provided by a relative of the abusive partner, and during drop off this morning he attacked her and broke her phone. Further, her new job at the hotel told her if she took any sick time to handle the new developments that she would be fired and they cut her hours. So she’s gone back to her original job at the original hotel since it’s a full 40 hours.

This is the problem for survivors - always in the back of their minds - what if he comes back. They are sometimes too afraid to be happy because it can be taken from them anytime. I still believe Anna has accomplished a lot - she is fighting and not giving up.”

To learn more about financial abuse and direct service programs for victims of intimate partner violence at House of Ruth Maryland, please contact Janice Miller, Director of Programs and Services, at janice@hruthmd.org.

In Memory Of

Each year, House of Ruth Maryland is fortunate to receive gifts made in memory of individuals who are no longer with us. These gifts are a tribute to the person who has passed and they honor the memory of those we love and the things that were most important to them. We would like to recognize the following individuals who have been honored with a memorial tribute between August 1, 2019 and January 31, 2020. We thank the generous donors who make it possible for us to recognize their loved ones.

Andy Barasda

Ruth Blyler

David & Sara Brown

Ed Clapp

Linda Cymrot

Leonard Czekaj

Martha Daily

Jacquie Dawson

Julieann Dennison

Carmen Deyesu

Marion Di Crispino

Siggy Eckhaus

TJ Evans

Miriam Fitzsimmons

Catherine Galiszewski

Ofelia Guerra

SPECIAL THANKS TO:

• Alan Ibello at Ibello Upholstery for donating dozens of rolls of fabric for B-More Bags.

• Renee Wilson at Bijoux Jewels for selling B-More Bags designs at her store at Wyndhurst Station in Roland Park.

• JoAnn and Roxanne at Wells Discount Liquors for selling several B-More Bags designs, including the Bottle Bag, at their store on York Road.

• 70th Operations Support Squadron, USAF for collecting and packaging toiletries and other essentials into more than 50 kits for our clients.

• Special thanks to the kindhearted, mission-driven ladies of Women in Insurance and Financial Services. The Baltimore chapter of this national women’s professional group has chosen House of Ruth Maryland as their charity of the year and will be hosting a fundraising event and donation drive on our behalf. Thank you for welcoming us at your initial meeting and Galentine’s Day luncheon and we look forward to collaborating with you all!

To see more Special Thanks, visit our website at www.hruth.org/specialthanks.

WE’RE SORRY!

In our Winter 2019 edition of Houseline, Pam Malester and Karen Egorin-Yaker were accidentally left off the list of Mentor level donors. We apologize for our error and thank Pam for her long-time support of House of Ruth Maryland as a donor and Board Member and we thank Karen for her long-time financial and volunteer support of Ruth’s Closet.

Jessica Jacobsen

Jane Jane

Beverly Kalus

Ruth Kehrli

Wayne Kehrli

Margaret Kehrli-Evans

Jean Potter Klotzbach

Jean Koch

Lynn Kramer-Dreyer

Wanda Ladzinski

Emma Long

Alice Lorraine

Betty Marcell

Rebecca Martinez-Greiwe

John McLane

Diane Menefee

Danielle Noel

Jean Potter-Klotzbach

Jenifer Ramberg

Jennifer Schlecht

Walter Schneckenburger

Indra Seunarine

Anita Smith

Civilla & John William Smith

Jessica Stetina

Wilma Taylor

Juile Thompson

Rebecca Tierney

Jerry & Rose Wurmser

Jackalyn Youra

Letter from the Executive Director

Dear Friends,

The insidious nature of intimate partner violence is on full display in this edition’s cover story. Anna’s story is not unlike so many others – they are desperate to break free – but their abuser continues to make it his life’s work to torment her and to make sure that she always lives in fear.

Your support of victims, like Anna, is critical and comes in many forms. If you know someone like her – be available to her and know how to refer her to places, like House of Ruth Maryland, who can help her. You can add your voice to the conversation and let your social group know that you support House of Ruth Maryland and why or you can share our content on social media platforms. You can shop at Ruth’s Closet, Ruth’s Repeats, buy a B-More Bag or attend one of our signature events, Spring Luncheon or Crabaret, or make a financial donation. You can also volunteer – we have some great opportunities coming up for volunteers – like the Medstar Health Baltimore Women’s Classic 5K presented by New Balance on June 28th.

We need your support – your time, treasures and talents – to make sure that the victims, like Anna, who choose to leave can do so and move forward with their lives and for those who aren’t able to leave yet, can stay safer where they are.

Thank you for all you do for House of Ruth Maryland and the victims we serve.

Sandi Timmins, Executive Director

Legislative Advocacy

Each year, House of Ruth Maryland creates an intimate partner violence legislative agenda that supports legislation that benefits all victims of IPV. We need your support! Here is a short summary of the bills that we are monitoring at this time. To receive weekly updates via email, please contact Dorothy Lennig at dlennig@hruthmd.org, to be added to the list. You can also see the full legislative agenda and see the weekly updates online at www.hruth.org/advocacy.

Some of the key legislation we’re following this session:

HB 248/SB 210 - Protective Orders - Relief Eligibility - Rape and Sexual Offenses – This bill would change the definition of “person eligible for relief” in a protective order (PO) to include anyone who alleges s/he is a victim of a rape or sexual offense, clarifying that they are eligible to receive a protective order rather than a peace order.

HB 233/SB 212 - Criminal Law – Assault in the First Degree – Suffocation or Strangulation – This bill would make it a first-degree assault to intentionally suffocate or strangle another person.

HB 590/SB 230 - Criminal Law–Sexual Crimes–Repeal of Spousal Defense

– This bill would repeal the prohibition on prosecuting a person for rape or certain sexual offenses against a victim who is the person’s legal spouse. Under current law, a person can only be prosecuted for raping their spouse under certain circumstances. To find your elected officials, visit www.mdelect.net.

4 Questions

with Kirsty Whelan, House of Ruth Maryland Volunteer

We hope you’ll enjoy this new segment of Houseline! In each edition we’ll be asking a donor, volunteer, staff member, community partner, etc., four questions about their involvement with the issue of intimate partner violence and House of Ruth Maryland!

What made you start giving back to House of Ruth Maryland? After being a single mom for many years, as my son became older I had more free time. I felt called to give back, having received counseling services from a similar organization in the past. What keeps you coming back? I’ve volunteered with other agencies in the past and I can say that all the staff and volunteers have a powerful, unspoken connection. Even though we might live in different areas, have different jobs, or be different ages, we’re all connected through that shared mission.

What would you say to others who are thinking about where they should donate their time/money? Once you learn about the problem and everything House of Ruth is doing to tackle it, you become a natural advocate, who wants to be an ambassador at community events, tell your friends about Crabaret, or advocate for corporate giving.

You got your company to support House of Ruth Maryland too. How would you encourage others to talk with their workplaces about HRM? Being connected with House of Ruth Maryland has empowered me to talk about IPV at work, share educational resources, and advocate for corporate giving. The more you understand IPV and the more resources you have access to, the more you can do to prevent it or help someone you love who is experiencing it.

Sandi Timmins

2201 Argonne Drive, Baltimore, MD 21218

HouseLine

Executive Director

Sandi Timmins

Interim Chief Development Officer

Cheri Parlaman Writers

Cassie Kelly, Cheri Parlaman

Design and Production

Debbie Saag

If you receive multiple mailings or need to update your address, please call our Development Office at 443-569-0517.

Join us on Wednesday, April 1, 2020 at the Hilton Baltimore to hear from award-winning actress, author and fierce advocate for women’s rights, Robin Givens. Givens will share her story of the legacy of domestic abuse in her family and how she came to terms with it in her own life. She’ll share how she was able to break the cycle with the help of strong women in her life.

Wednesday, April 1, 2020 • 11 AM – 1:30 PM • Event Co-Chairs: Vicki Deyesu and Whitney Lull Baltimore Hilton • 401 West Pratt Street • Baltimore, Maryland 21201 To buy your tickets today, visit www.hruth.org/spring