When They Confide in You
House of Ruth Maryland fields thousands of calls every year from people who want to help a loved one, a colleague, a member of their church – who they think might be a victim or that they are very certain they are a victim of intimate partner violence. As many begin to return to work in-person this fall, victims of intimate partner violence may be able to reach out for the first time in a long time.
Administrative Office: (443) 569-0440
Legal Services: (410) 554-8463 (888) 880-7884
Maryland Relay: 711
Website: www.hruth.org
Facebook: facebook.com/ houseofruthmaryland
Twitter: @houseofruthmd
Instagram: @houseofruthmd
What can you say if they reach out to you?
“Victims need to know they aren’t alone, it’s not their fault and there is help available,” said Lisa Nitsch, Director of Training and Education at House of Ruth Maryland. Abuse is a widespread problem, 1 in 4 women will be a victim at some point in their lives, yet the shame and isolation that comes with abuse can make victims feel as though they are alone.
House of Ruth Maryland provides help for victims to stay safe – safety planning, counseling, emergency shelter, transitional housing, legal services, support groups and more to help them make decisions that are in their best interests, even if that means they stay in the abusive relationship. As frustrating as it may be for those trying to help, research shows that victims are in the most danger when they choose to leave relationships and these situations are complicated – children, living situations, finances, all play a role in a victim deciding to stay or leave. It is important to respect their decision – even if you disagree with it. Many victims make the choice to stay, not because it will keep them safe, but because it will keep them alive. Cont. on page 2
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Moreover, when victims do leave, they often go back. “When victims leave, it isn’t always for good,” said Nitsch. “On average, a victim will leave their partner 5-7 times, before they leave for good and that’s frustrating for bystanders.” When a victim returns to their abusive partner, their sources of support get smaller. Friends and family are usually very supportive the first time, the second time, maybe the third time, but for victims who need multiple times to permanently leave, when they leave the last time and need the most support, there isn’t any left. It can be hard to continue to provide that support to a victim, which is why House of Ruth Maryland encourages bystanders to contact our hotline too. It can not only be traumatic for the person hearing the story, but can also be accompanied by a feeling of helplessness. Our hotline counselors can talk through the situation with you and provide some guidance on how to help you with processing the situation.
How Can You Learn More?
In September, House of Ruth Maryland is launching an online learning course –Recognize and Respond. The course, sponsored by Comcast, walks users through what intimate partner violence is, how to engage in a healthy, helpful way, and provides information on resources available for help.
“This is the first time we’ve been able to provide a training like this for everyone,” said Nitsch. “It will be available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, to anyone, anywhere to take, learn more about the issue and potentially save a victim’s life.”
In addition to online courses, House of Ruth Maryland has a team of educators who provide training throughout Maryland. We can provide educational programs to community groups, workplaces, social groups, schools, etc. October, Domestic Violence Awareness Month, is our busiest month of the year, so we encourage those scheduling October events to reach out as soon as possible.
To take the Recognize and Respond course, to schedule a training program, or to learn more about House of Ruth Maryland’s Training Institute, please visit www.hruth.org/training.
INNOVATION, FOR A BETTER BALTIMORE
In June, House of Ruth Maryland received a Johns Hopkins Innovation in Community Safety Fund grant to support a supportive, public health approach to working with abusive partners. “Because of this support, we will be able to expand our work with abusive partners by providing wraparound supportive services that address high lethality indicators such as unemployment and substance abuse, while removing barriers to engagement with our programs,” said Lisa Nitsch, Director of Training and Education at House of Ruth Maryland. Through the grant, House of Ruth Maryland will be working with several community partners to provide these supportive services, including Sheppard Pratt, The Family Tree, and The Mayor’s Office of Employment Development. We are also fortunate to have Dr. Charvonne Holliday, from Johns Hopkins University Bloomberg School of Public Health, as a research partner for the project.
“We believe that expanding our model to be more supportive of our participants overall wellness, and addressing their abusive behavior, will be transformative for families in Baltimore,” said Nitsch.
To learn more about House of Ruth Maryland’s supportive service model for Abuse Intervention programming, please contact Lisa Nitsch at lisanitsch@hruthmd.org.
A Party, Hooray!
Despite the many challenges of the ongoing battle with Covid-19, guests were able to gather in-person for the House of Ruth Maryland 19th Annual Crabaret! Hosted by Chef John Shields of Gertrude’s at the Baltimore Museum of Art, Crabaret has been a successful fundraiser for House of Ruth Maryland for nearly 20 years. Not only does Crabaret’s proceeds benefit our programs and services, but the event also brings awareness to the issue of intimate partner violence.
This event would not be possible without the generous support of our sponsors, our devoted supporters, and the Crabaret committee. Although this year’s event looked different from the many before as we were limited in attendees, it was the most spectacular evening of dancing, divine delectables, and delicious cocktails!
Thank you to our Anonymous Title Sponsor, Gold Sponsor: the Carmen & Victoria Deyesu Family Foundation; our Silver Sponsors: Confidio and M&T; Bronze Sponsors: Tito’s Handmade Vodka, USI Insurance and Verdence Capital Advisors; Copper Sponsors: David and Betty Jean Bavar, Nadine DiSpirito, Dean Cavalier & Nancy Dudman-Cavalier, Joyce Ann Burman & David Greif, II, Monica M. Hausner, Mary D. Miller and Charles S. Hirsch, Elizabeth Moser, Aflac and Saul Ewing Arnstein & Lehr LLP. Lastly, a special thank you to WBFF Fox 45 and WYPR for their generous support.
Letter from the Executive Director
Dear Friends,
It’s now September 2021 and we find ourselves on the cusp of the 4th wave of COVID. When I reflect on March of 2020, I never would have thought this would still be the topic of so many conversations, news programs and all forms of media. Early on, there was quite a bit of attention on intimate partner violence and how lock-downs removed many means of escape for victims, while giving abusers protection from prying eyes as the victim was isolated from community events and workplace colleagues.
Now, a year and a half later, that’s old news. There aren’t many (any?) stories about the “pandemic in the pandemic,” yet the fall-out for victims of intimate partner violence lives on. Victims find themselves still out of work, knowing that assistance programs will soon be ending and scrambling to figure out how to provide for themselves and their children. They may be living with vulnerable family members, but with children that can’t be vaccinated they are endangering loved ones and need a new place to stay. While the rest of the world seemingly moves on, they’re still living with trauma.
As we approach year-end, many of you will be making decisions about your charitable donations. I am asking you to continue supporting House of Ruth Maryland or to add us to your annual giving. There are many ways to give –online – hruth.org/donate; by mail – simply use the enclosed envelope, or call 443-569-0515 to make a donation by phone.
We need your help. We can only continue to provide these life-changing and life-saving services when you are there supporting us.
I sincerely thank you for all you have already done. I am grateful that you stand with us as we help people who so urgently need us.
IN MEMORY OF
Each year, House of Ruth Maryland is fortunate to receive gifts made in memory of individuals who are no longer with us. These gifts are a tribute to the person who has passed and they honor the memory of those we love and the things that were most important to them. We would like to recognize the following individuals who have been honored with a memorial tribute between February 1 and July 31, 2021. We thank the generous donors who make it possible for us to recognize their loved ones.
Robin Bowers
Jennifer Burdick
Alleen Buswell
Lauren Charles
Esther Dott
Pauline Eckenrode
Jim Estelle
Megan Ford
Richard Johnson
Amy Kiser
Joyce Kroeller
Carole Maier
Sharon Mechalske
Timothy Miller
Mary Mussoline
Esther Peacock
A WHOPPER OF A FUNDRAISER
Customers that visited a Burger King in Baltimore City in the month of June heard the same question at the end of their order, “would you like to make a donation to House of Ruth Maryland?” Overwhelmingly they said yes, as the Burger King’s of Baltimore, in partnership with the Burger King Foundation, were able to present a check for $10,000 to House of Ruth Maryland on July 2, 2021. The fundraiser was introduced by the ownership group of the local stores, representing 8 locations in Baltimore City, as a way for them to give back to the local community. “We feel it is our responsibility to support the communities in which we do business. We are proud to support a great cause like House of Ruth. We couldn’t have done it without our generous customers.” said Luke Andrzejewski, Vice President and Chief Operations Officer for PJ Foods LLC. All funds raised by Burger King will help support our life-saving programs at House of Ruth Maryland.
SPECIAL THANKS TO:
• The Baltimore Chapter of the Coalition of Labor Union Women (CLUW) for donating gift cards in support HRM clients.
• Tidewater Inc. for donating 12 backpacks stuffed with school supplies for children of clients.
• Fabletics retail store in Columbia MD for the donation of new athletic wear.
• Kohl’s of Severn and Ellicott City for the donation of New Lauren Conrad Cosmetics.
Theresa Roanhouse
Judith Rubenstein
Jeanne Trexler
Rose & Jerry Wurmser
Ken York
Jeanne Yost
• Catonsville Presbyterian Church together with Grace AME Church for donating Children’s books on diversity.
• Baltimore Ravens Leadership Institute, T. Rowe Price and Clean the World for donating 1,000 hygiene kits to our community and for inviting us to be part of their year-end celebration.
Sandi Timmins, Executive Director
Sandi Timmins
2201 Argonne Drive, Baltimore, MD 21218