A Bright Light Bulletin Summer 2015 Edition
Survivor board member shares her story in hopes of
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s u b a f o e l c y c e h t breaking “He chased me around the house. If I didn’t get out, I’m 100 percent confident, it would have gotten violent.” Those are the words of Lisa Williams, who after 10 years of marriage, leaned on the services Hope House provides to help her get out of her abusive relationship. Lisa was also a Hope House volunteer at the time but didn’t see herself as being in an abusive relationship. “Years later, looking at what I lived with, I realize there was abuse every bit of those 10 years,” said Lisa. It was when she was at work and her husband got angry with one of her sons that she knew she had to get out. The next day, she sent the boys to a family member’s home and told her husband she was leaving. “There are so many people who don’t realize it’s abuse even if there is no hitting,” she said. “I went to the Lee’s Summit Police Department and he actually called me threatening me while I was standing there. I handed the phone to the police and they heard all of his threats. They arrested him
and while he was incarcerated, I was able to get the home back in order and change all the locks.” Lisa visited with a court advocate at the Independence shelter. The advocate helped her get a restraining order. After nearly two years of legal proceedings, Lisa’s divorce was final. Now, Lisa is newly married, spends a lot of time with her huge family, sings in three choirs and serves with multiple non-profits, including the Hope House board of directors. “I wanted to help out in some way,” Lisa said. “My ultimate goal is to share my story because there are women who are just like me and don’t know they are in abusive relationships. Maybe my story and work with Hope House will open their eyes.” Lisa’s volunteering doesn’t stop at the board. Most recently, she volunteered at Starlight Theatre where Hope House provides volunteers in return for a donation from Starlight. She has donated items multiple times to Hope House. And, she has also wrapped gifts in Hope House’s Holiday Store, where mothers “shop”
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“When I needed help, I didn’t know what to do or what steps to take next. Hope House helped me. I want other people to see everything Hope House is doing in our community...” for donated items to give their children and children can shop for mom. “Lisa has been a wonderful addition to our board,” said MaryAnne Metheny, CEO of Hope House. “She provides a different perspective on the board but also an enthusiasm that is contagious. She’s always happy and knowledgeable, and just a great friend to have working with us.” Lisa has enjoyed her time on the board, but she says she gets the most joy from working with survivors directly. “That has been my favorite part,” she said. “I look forward to doing it more. But, when I needed help, I didn’t know what to do or what steps to take next. Hope House helped me. I want other people to see everything Hope House is doing in our community, so they want to support this great organization too.”
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A bright light in a community that cares
Small
donors give
In a one week span, Hope House received two big gifts from two of its smallest donors. In mid-June, little three-yearold Aly Diekmann and 11-year-old Kannon Dillabough collected items to benefit the survivors and families in the Lee’s Summit shelter. Kannon has collected sporting goods during his last three birthdays and says the collection drive has grown every year. “Coach always talks about doing things for others,” said Kannon. “Some people don’t have a lot. It also feels good knowing other kids have something to open on their birthdays.” Kannon, who is a student at Lee’s Summit’s Hawthorn Hill Elementary, started collecting items as part of his eighth birthday. His sister’s Girl Scout Troop had a collection drive and donated the items to Hope House.
But, Kannon noticed something. All of the items were for girls. And, he wanted to collect items for the boys. “When I’m bored I go play basketball, and I wanted others to be able to do the same thing,” said Kannon. “The coolest part is knowing you’re helping people have fun.” Karin, Kannon’s mom, brought him in after this year’s birthday donation drive. “He’s always had a kind heart,” Karin said. “This is something he’s done on his own. And, for him to want to give back to someone else is really what you strive for as a parent. We’re so proud.” Other parents want to help their youngsters understand what it means to help others. Michelle Diekmann wanted to start early with Aly. “We want to set an example for her about helping others,” said
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Michelle. “Another lesson we want to teach her is that birthdays are for being around those you love. Not everybody has that, and giving to someone in need shows the women or kids at Hope House they’re not alone.” Aly collected items from our Urgent Needs list for her birthday. She dropped off toilet paper, medicines, cleaning supplies and some toys from her and her friends’ own collections. Aly and her little sister pushed the items in the door using their play shopping carts. She and Kannon said they’ll continue to give to Hope House. “People should donate because this is the best place to give,” Kannon said. “The people here are so friendly. They say ‘Thank You.’ They take your picture. And, they’re helping people in our community.”
Have you donated $100 or more this year? We received more than $40,000 in Missouri Domestic Violence Tax Credits. The 50 percent credits are available to anyone who makes 2015 financial donations totalling more than $100. If you have given a monetary gift of $100 or more this year and would like to get an early start on your 2015 taxes, contact Hope House today so
we can help you claim your credit. If you have not given $100 or more, but you would like to take advantage of the tax credits, contact, Nancy DuVall, Hope House chief development officer, at 816-257-9328, for more information. Tax credits are a first-come-firstserve basis.
A Bright Light Bulletin - Summer 2015 Edition
Program Spotlight: Kids are safe
in Hope House’s Guardian Program One of the programs that sets Hope House apart from other domestic violence agencies is how we help survivors and families who are ordered by the courts to participate in safe supervised visitations. It can be a scary process because those orders require children to be around the abuser. Fortunately, for the families in Eastern Jackson County, Hope House provides a resource to help in the form of our Guardian Program. “We are a neutral third party that provides monitored exchanges and supervised visits to interrupted families,” said Shannon Pollard, Guardian Program coordinator. “There is always an off duty Independence police officer working. Program participants park in different areas, arrive at different times, and are taken to different waiting areas. There should never be contact between party participants at any time.”
Not interacting with the noncustodial parent is what one Guardian participant appreciated most. “When we were first ordered to do supervised visits in the divorce, I supervised,” said Natalie*, a former Guardian participant who currently volunteers at Hope House. “That was a terrible idea. He tried to intimidate me. He stalked me.” As survivors leave their abuser, violence often escalates and sometimes includes stalking. For those who participate in the Guardian Program, we have safety precautions in place to prevent this from happening. “When that didn’t work, I asked about the Guardian program,” she said. “It was very helpful. It was comforting having a police officer there. It was also nice having separate parking lots, so he couldn’t follow me or know what I drove.”
The billboard inside the Guardian Program building assembled by a our intern, Peggy & Det. Chris Burris. Last year, the Guardian Program helped 76 children in 46 families similar to Natalie’s, ensuring everyone’s safety. “What I’ve enjoyed the most is seeing how the children in our program change,” Shannon said. “At times, they may be apprehensive or scared about seeing their visiting parent. Over time, they realize there is a network of people ensuring they have safe, productive, and memorable visits with their parents. Those kid’s smiles are the best part of my day.” *Name changed to protect identity
Relationships, fun help survivors forget they are in a shelter In the early summer, three supporters helped the women in Hope House forget they were in a shelter by building relationships and memories. Tamika McClish volunteered her time to host a Mary Kay party. Mary Hunzinger, an Arbonne representative (pictured above), worked with her friends to donate Arbonne supplies to all of the women on Mothers’ Day. And, Melani Greenawalt, a master hair designer, volunteered time to cut and style hair. “It helped me forget I was in a shelter,” said one survivor. Another commented that haircuts are difficult to afford. She joked that she tried cutting her own child’s hair, but it didn’t go too well. Melani was
able to put the hair back in order for the child , bringing a smile to mom. “I’m encouraging by nature, so it’s about helping them rebuild their confidence,” said Melani, owner of VIVACE Salontique. “ All of the women have something they’re working toward, and they’ve opened up about their futures. I can tell Hope House is really helping them move forward. I enjoy being a part of that.” While Melani volunteers time styling hair, Tamika has volunteered several times hosting Mary Kay parties for the women in shelter. She has a personal connection to domestic violence. A relative of hers was in an abusive relationship. “Volunteering here is fulfillment of a wish,” Tamika said. “I wish she had a place like this to go. Now I get to see how others are benefiting from this. And, that feels amazing.” Coming here once a month has been rewarding, she said. But, it’s the relationships that continue outside of
shelter that make it more worthwhile. “During the Holiday Store program, one woman came up to me as I was dropping off donations,” Tamika said. “She said, ‘We really like it when you come to see us.’ We kept talking there. I’ve even had people call me after they’ve moved out of shelter just to say hello. That really affirms the connections we’re making.” Those connections go a long way in helping domestic violence survivors, said Hope House CEO MaryAnne Metheny. “A lot of times, domestic violence survivors are secluded from friends by their abusers,” said MaryAnne. “Supporters like Tamika, Melani and Mary are creating a sense of community for these women and helping them build relationships. Those new relationships will help them regain the power the abuser took from them while building their confidence at the same time. And, we’re so grateful for that.”
A Bright Light Bulletin
Summer 2015 Edition
HOPE HOUSE P.O. Box 577, Lee’s Summit, MO 64063 hopehouse.net 816-461-4188 Hotline: 816-461-HOPE (4673) Metro Hotline: 816-HOTLINE (463-5463) MaryAnne Metheny, CEO Nathan Dampf, Managing Editor For questions or comments, please email us at info@hopehouse.net Hope House is proud to be a member agency of
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Hope House Urgent Needs (new items only please): • Adult & child cold medicine • Hydrogen peroxide • African American hair • Regular size Band-Aids products such as; relaxers, • Allergy medications gels, & hair grease • Lysol cleaning spray & wipes • Hairspray • Twin sheets • Twin size blankets • Bath towels • Brushes & wide tooth combs • Washcloths • Tylenol/Ibuprofen • Women’s underwear • Tums • Women’s socks • Neosporin • Baby wipes
Save the Dates (hopehouse.net/Events): Hope & All That Jazz Aug. 15, 2015 Sand Volleyball Tournament Sept. 12, 2015 For information: Contact Special Event Manager Stefanie Shanks at (816) 257-9333 or sshanks@hopehouse.net
Hope House Leadership 2014-2015 BOARD OF DIRECTORS Ashley Gillard, Chair Carol Baker, Chair Elect Christine Ferguson, Immediate Past Chair Cynthia Raven, Secretary
Becky Sandring, Treasurer Monica Alderson Dr. Stephanie De La Torre Linda Duncan Brian Herrmann
HOPE HOUSE YOUNG PROFESSIONALS (HHYP) BOARD OF DIRECTORS Lindsey Rood-Clifford - Chair Abby Mocek - Secretary Beth Brown Trish Carlyle Carina Criger Ellie Hancock
Tracy Hancock Evan Palmer Ben Thompson Jessica Thompson Erin Webb Rachael Zimmerman
Curtis Lynch Petros Mekonnen Sarah Millin Lee Moore Michael Moore
Jarrod Nichols Adam Rossbach Elizabeth Smith Terri Thomas Gary Walker
Lisa Williams Michael Williams
COMMUNITY COUNCIL Carol Sue Bass Jacqueline Clark Dick Doherty Colleen Foudree Charlie Harris, Jr Tom Holzbaur
J. Scott King Barbara Koirtyohann Tom Krewson Phil LeVota Carol Mays Judy Ness
Barbara Potts Norman Swails Lysle Weeks Sally Winship