Hempstead, NY Vol.77 | Issue 09
November 10, 2011
Keeping the Hofstra Community informed since 1935
Cody Heintz/ The Chronicle
The Student Government Association met in the greenhouse on Tuesday. SGA President David Zuniga announced the results of a survey conducted regarding on-campus smoking.
SGA Conducts on-campus smoking survey
By Ben Suazo
ASSiStAnt newS editor
Kemi Ajisekola, 21, smokes cigarettes on campus between classes a few times a week. “it’s convenient for me when i have a day with a full schedule and i don’t have time to go back to my house every time i have to smoke,” said Ajisekola, a senior. Ajisekola’s habits would have to change if a campus wide smoking ban were instituted. President david Zuniga reported the results of an SGA survey on campus smoking on tuesday. the survey found that, of 643 students surveyed, 8.5 percent identify themselves as smokers. in regards to campus smoking policies, the survey found
that 39.2 percent of students support a 20-foot smoking buffer, 22.4 percent support the minimum regulation required by state and federal law and 22.2 percent support a campus-wide ban. A 20-foot smoking buffer is currently the official university policy, as mandated by new York state law. “i could see why [a smoking ban is being considered] but i think it’s infringing on students’ rights a little bit because nowhere does it say students can’t smoke; nobody signed up for that,” said Ajisekola. “to ban smoking all together is a little bit ridiculous.” Rand Smith, a first-year Film major with A.P. Statistics fresh on his mind, questioned whether the survey was valid.
“it’s a convenient sample if they’re walking up to people [to survey]...it’s biased by what people they see,” said Smith. “Certain people stay in dorms.” to account for surveys taken through Facebook, Smith added that “the only responses will be highly negative or highly positive. [For example,] if you felt really strongly about the issue, you would respond on Facebook.” ross nikides, a sophomore Chinese major, found the number of students who encouraged an absolute ban unfair. “i’m not entirely surprised by the survey’s results, although i feel the percentage of people who want smoking banned altogether is rather high, seeing as it’s not
their decision to smoke or not,” nikides said. while he acknowledged that the harmful effects of secondhand smoke bother him, nikides remained an advocate for a more gentle policy towards smokers. “it is their choice to smoke, so they should not have to be punished too much for doing it,” he said. in other SGA news: tonight, according to Programming Chair Caitlin rauchle, Men’s Basketball Coach Mo Cassara will judge student-decorated cakes in the Student Center from 7:30 p.m. to 10:30. the event promotes Friday’s season-opening home game. Appropriations Chair nick Gomes reported that $1,991.99
was awarded to clubs this week. the remaining funds for fall appropriations are $24,267.15. the report of Comptroller Mike Hershfield noted that sports clubs will be paying “costs associated with the use of some fields,” beginning next year. Club relations and the rules Committee are working together to give clubs clearer policies from the Office of Student Leadership and Activities, Multicultural and international Student Programs Office and the Recreation Center. Student Services continues to work on expanding the dutch treats menu and bringing PridePrint to more residence halls. Addition reporting was contributed by Alexi Knock, Managing Editor.
Fraternities and Sororities volunteer for kids in Hempstead By Meghan Fitzgerald StaFF WRiteR
numerous fraternities and sororities, including Phi delta theta, Alpha Kappa Psi, Alpha Kappa Alpha, and theta tau, volunteered at the Hempstead Boys and Girls Club at Franklin
elementary School in Hempstead. “there were about 65 local kids, ranging from roughly 6 to 10 years of age, who were involved in the event and approximately 50 Hofstra students,” said Justin Schain, the President of interfraternal Council.
the group attended a Halloween party at the Boys and Girls Club in which students were asked to bring goodie bags and crafts for the children. “it was a very rewarding experience to see the smiles and excitement on all of the children’s
faces,” said senior Servio Urgiles. Many students saw the event as an opportunity to highlight their chapters. “Greek Life is working hard to change the stereotypical perception that students and faculty have. we want to show
that Greek Life works together to give back to the community at large, and this successful event illustrates our strong presence and our dedication to community service,” said senior natasha Puri, President of Alpha Kappa Psi.
A 2•November 10, 2011
Hofstra’s Collegiate Women of Color
brings new subcommittee on sexual health and prevention By Samantha Abram SpeCiaL tO tHe CHROniCLe
Kelley Howard and Marleine Marcelin, students at Hofstra University and co-chairs for the campus organization Collegiate women of Color, delivered an information session last thursday about their new subcommittee on sexual health and disease prevention. the committee’s main objective is stop the spread of Std’s on campus and get everyone thinking safe. “Unzip the naked truth about unprotected sex,” reads its slogan. their goal is to foster sexual awareness on Hofstra’s campus as well as within the Hempstead community. Anyone on campus is able to be a part of the subcommittee, including students and faculty. interested members will be trained, in a two-week session, in Std awareness and birth control
opportunities, so they will each be able to provide a safe space for those in need. “According to Centers for disease Control and Prevention, sexually active adolescents ages 19 to 24 have the highest risk of contracting an Std,” said Marcelin. After being trained, students from the committee will be on campus for anyone who needs help. the committee members take confidentiality very seriously. they strive to help every person who comes to them with proper care and personalized
support. “if someone comes to us with symptoms they are worried about, we tell them to relax and stay calm,” said Howard. “Believe it or not, it provides comfort to hear those words.” Committee members are provided with condoms and other types of contraception to distribute on the Hofstra campus. Hofstra students are invited to approach members on campus and seek help or contraception free of charge. Pamphlets and information packets will also be given out upon request.
“According to Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, sexually active adolescents ages 19 to 24 have the highest risk of contracting an STD.”
“i think this committee is not only a great measure on awareness, but also in safety,” said Sophia Strawser, a student not part of the committee. “Having knowledge on the matter is the first step to making a change.” “the new committee is a great idea if it’s executed properly throughout campus,” said Gaby Chiha, a sophomore at Hofstra. “the only potential drawback is making students think that the committee is an outreach only to ‘colored students,’ since it’s in the title.” the committee will hold up to three events every semester concerning Stds, their prevention, and forms of birth control. the events will be held on campus, open to anyone interested. they will provide information to keep students safe, and get more students involved.
Public Safety Briefs On Nov. 3, a student reported
Chronicle File Photo
While conducting a Health
and Safety inspection in Vander Poel Hall on nov. 2, a small quantity of marijuana and a pack of bamboo papers in plain sight were confiscated from a room. the items were taken and the resident was given a summons.
Public Safety responded to
a dispute between two students in a room in delft House on nov. 6. After they arrived and spoke to the student who stayed it was concluded that the students got into an argument and one of the students was threatened by the other with a dangerous weapon. A knife was recovered and the student in possession of it was given a sum-
mons and taken to the HiC where he met with a crisis counselor.
A Lackmann food service member reported to Public Safety that at some time between 4 p.m. and 6:25 p.m. on nov. 7 the rear window of her vehicle, parked at Hofstra USA, was smashed with a large piece of concrete which was found inside her vehicle. nCPd was notified, an officer responded, filled out a report and an investigation will be conducted. A female student reported to Public Safety on nov. 3 that a male student has been verbally harassing her via cell phone and that he had physically threatened
to Public Safety that there was a male student whom she knew in her room. when she asked the other student to leave he refused. Public Safety responded to the room in Providence House and discovered the male student left the room. A search was conducted; the student was located and given a summons.
While conducting rounds in Bill of rights on nov. 4, an rA smelled the odor of marijuana coming from a room. Public Safety responded, enterted the room and found the resident and another student inside the room with a glass pipe in open view. Both students were given a summons. On Nov. 5, a PSo responded
to a lockout in Constitution Hall. After he opened the door to let the student in, he saw two bottles of alcohol in the room. the underage student was given a summons and the alcohol was confiscated.
Public Safety responded to Hofstra USA on the report of
Chronicle www.hofstrachronicle.com 203 Student Center (516) 463-6921
Editor-in-Chief Max Sass Managing Editor Alexi Knock News Editor Jessica Lewis Assistant News Editor Ben Suazo Sports Editor Joe Pantorno Entertainment Editor Aaron Calvin Assistant Entertainment Editor Katie Webb Editorial Editor Andrea Ordonez @ Hofstra Editor Rachel Lutz
Compiled By Jessica Lewis her. the male student was given a summons.
a fight involving several people on nov. 5. when Public Safety arrived, the situation was calmed. Six of the seven individuals involved were students. the one non-student was banned form campus and the six students were each given a summons.
An RA observed three students smoking marijuana in front of Hempstead House on nov. 5 and called Public Safety. Public Safety responded and found two of the students who admitted they were smoking. the third student was identified and all of them were given a summons.
Key HIC- Hofstra Information Center PSO- Public Safety Officer RSR- Resident Safety representative RA- Resident Assistant NCPD- Nassau County Police Department NUMC- Nassau University Medical Center
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A3•November 10, 2011
at Hofstra, I teach the write stuff Andrea Garcia, Ph.D. Associate Professor, Literacy Studies Dr. Garcia complements her teaching schedule with service as director of the Reading/Writing Learning Clinic at Hofstra’s Saltzman Community Services Center, where her scholarly work is dedicated to supporting language and literacy development of children and adults living in multilingual communities.
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Graduate Open House | Sunday, November 20 hofstra.edu/grad-day
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A 4â€˘November 10, 2011
A5•November 10, 2011
Part of the Pride for life...and death Hofstra’s longest tenured professor plans to donate anatomical gift to medical school
Anatomy lab at Hofstra’s Medical School Photo courtesy of Carole Trottere “He [D’Innocenzo] initially, as soon as he found out we were here, talked to our department chair, Dr. Patrick Gannon,” said Peragine. “Dr. Gannon gave me his information, I sent him our donation forms, he filled out all the paperwork, and we talked through everything.” “Legal wills normally say your body cannot be used in some other purpose,” said D’Innocenzo. “I then contacted President Rabinowitz the next day and I told him I’ve been here this long I’ll just make another contribution. He contacted the medical school and they contacted me. “They want you to have as many organs as you can. Hofstra makes use of the body longer than many other schools. They use it for three years. I hope it’s not going to be too soon by the way.” Let’s be honest, death is a touchy subject. It is one of those thoughts that can blindside you on some idle Sunday and keep you perplexed for hours. “Some people were a little squeamish when it came up, when I brought up the idea in class,” said D’Innocenzo. “But this is something I’ve come to terms with and some people are just frightened or put off when it comes to death and they don’t want to think about it in any way.” Being here for more than half a century, D’Innocenzo has formed a bond with this school. “It’s been so great growing older as Hofstra kept getting better,” said D’Innocenzo. “Hofstra was good when I came here in 1960 and I remember I had a lot of job offers because I came out of Columbia. Colleges were expanding and my advisor at Columbia told me that Hofstra’s reputation has not caught up with it. It’s really an outstanding school, it has a terrific faculty and that it was an up and coming school.” As an educator that has touched so many lives, one cannot help but be in awe as he discusses just how important bettering the lives of young people means to him. “I think part of anyone who becomes a teacher, you always want to give back to advance knowledge to disseminate it,” said D’Innocenzo. “It’s a great joy to have empower and teach young people along the way and to be at any institution you’re a part of it, you really care about it. I’ve loved the evolvement of Hofstra over all these years. “There is a kind of sweetness of the Pride, being at the Pride indefinitely.”
“There is a kind of sweetness of the Pride, being at the Pride indefinitely.”
By Joe Pantorno
Michael D’Innocenzo in the 1970s Photo courtesy of Michael D’Innocenzo
Michael D’Innocenzo has been part of Hofstra’s faculty since 1960. Since then, he has given back to the University community for 51 years; receiving awards and accolades that would be any educator’s dream. D’Innocenzo has one more gift in store for the University after he is done working here: his body. The history professor decided to donate his anatomical gift to the Hofstra Medical School for the hopes of advancement in science. Standing before his History 144 class which deals with the American Revolution, D’Innocenzo’s lecture meandered into the story of Thomas Jefferson’s home in Monticello, VA which spoke of his legacy. “It was kind of a spur of the moment thing,” said D’Innocenzo. “I told our attorney that I wanted to donate it and my wife was fine with that, she knew about it and what the Hofstra Medical School said when I talked to them initially was that you should talk it over with you family, your attorneys to make sure people are comfortable with you doing this.” Cira Peragine, program Administrator for the Whole Body Anatomical Gift Program for the Hofstra North Shore-LIJ School of Medicine has been building her department since before doors were opened. “The School of Medicine’s AGP is a whole body donation program and does not include those people who wish to donate organs,” said Peragine. “However, cornea and skin donations are also acceptable prior to whole body donation.” The school has obtained 22 cadavers in its first year as students learn to advance their medical understandings in hopes of becoming the next generation of great doctors. “At this time, the cadavers at the School of Medicine are used for medical education and research,” said Peragine. “The initiation of our program has benefited from our partnership with the North Shore-LIJ Health System.” D’Innocenzo got in contact with the Medical School and made the necessary changes to his personal documents in order to make the donation valid.
Current photo of Michael D’innocenzo
Photo courtesy of Hofstra Magazine 2008 Faculty Spotlight
A6 •November 10, 2011
Letters to the Editor days off for religious holidays. For example, we couldn’t have a week off in March, and more days off around Easter and Passover in “Local finds empathy for those aggravated by April, and Thanksgiving schedule change” from November 3, still meet 2011 issue. Illustration by Ashlie Bauer the number To the Editor, of hours that classes must meet according to New York In the Nov. 3 issue of The State regulations. The proposal Chronicle, Ronny O’Leary and specified that students observing Miles Bett complained about the religious holidays would not be Hofstra calendar. O’Leary, in penalized for missing classes. “Local finds empathy for those Unfortunately, students aggravated by Thanksgiving voted for the existing Fall 2011 schedule change,” laments calendar over the alternative classes meeting the day before calendar 62 percent against 38 Thanksgiving. Meanwhile, Bett percent, and for the existing in “Senior demands reasons for Spring 2012 calendar over the poorly planned break schedules” alternative 55 percent against 45 takes aim at Hofstra’s late spring percent. break. Given such opposition to They should both be aware change, the task force decided to that there are faculty and leave the calendar as it is. administrators who share their So if you don’t like the Hofstra concern. calendar, please don’t blame the I was part of a task force that Hofstra administration. Blame ran a survey in Fall 2010 offering your fellow students. If you were students an alternative. The a Hofstra student in Fall 2010 alternative Fall 2011 calendar and didn’t participate in the would have the day before survey, blame yourself. Thanksgiving off, and the Spring 2012 calendar would have Spring RAYMOND N. GREENWELL Recess in March. PROFESSOR OF The drawback is that the MATHEMATICS University would no longer have
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Illustration by Ashlie Bauer
Built-in fee causes laundry battles By Andrea Ordonez EDITORIAL EDITOR
I remember freshman year, hauling my laundry to the second floor of my residence hall and swiping my card to use the machines. Back then, students put Dutch Debits on their cards, and for roughly a dollar, I could get two loads of laundry done. When Hofstra decided to put a built-in laundry fee on tuition, I initially loved it. Not having to make Dutch Debit transfers every week and figuratively getting unlimited opportunities to do laundry was great. However, the repulsive state of the laundry rooms and the behavior of people in them make me long for the “pay as you go” system of earlier times. After going three weeks without doing laundry because of a crazy midterm schedule, I finally found some free time a couple days ago to drag my overflowing bags of dirty clothes to the laundry room of my building. I had made several attempts within the three weeks
to do laundry, but every time, the machines were full. On this day, I got there only to see all six machines full but only one actually running. A guy casually leaning on the corner machine noticed the confusion on my face. He informed me that the clothes in the motionless five machines were his, and that he was waiting for a friend.
fee has its perks, it encourages savage and selfish behavior. Residents act with a distorted sense of entitlement and forget that hundreds of other residents need to do their laundry with the same machines. In addition to entertaining egotistical behavior, the system lets people who live off-campus and visitors who do not pay a built-in fee freely use machines that rightfully belong to the building’s residents. Along with abuse of the system, piles of unclaimed clothes sit on top of the washers (their cleanliness remains questionable) and sometimes, if you’re lucky, you’ll find a lost sock or soaked underwear behind them. To complete the mess, I’ve seen people stand in front of machines that have as much as 15 minutes left on the clock just so they could use a washer or dryer. If Hofstra forced its students to pay for laundry on a weekly basis, its students would properly learn to economize. They would
“...piles of unclaimed clothes sit on top of the washers (their cleanliness remains questionable) and sometimes if you’re lucky, you’ll find a lost sock or soaked underwear behind them.” Heated, I pointed at the laundry room rules posted on the wall. One of them stated that a person could use a maximum of three machines at one time. After watching him roll his eyes, I told him I would notify the RD or RA on duty that he was unfairly hogging machines. Emotionless, he looked at me and said, “Cry me a river.” I know for a fact, he is not the only person to abuse the benefits of Hofstra’s laundry system. While the built-in laundry
Continued on A9
A7•November 10, 2011
Finance major reflects on his homeland’s economy By John Pritsiolas SPECIAL TO THE CHRONICLE
As a Greek-American at Hofstra, it’s hard to watch my fellow Greek natives destroy property and fight amongst themselves amidst the chaos of one of the roughest economic recessions in recent memory. For those of you unfamiliar with the situation, witnessing a once great fountain of intelligence and prosperity collapse into economic shambles is fairly depressing. This economic shot heard around the world should not be downplayed as it has been by European politicians who seem content on just kicking the can further down the road. The European Union is currently in
dire straits and at the time when the integrity of this union is being tested, there truly seems to be no definitive solutions coming forth from any major European country. All European citizens are left with empty promises that will most likely never come to fruition, while a handful of European countries continue to deteriorate economically. As a result of political inaction, the standards of living will most likely drop even more as access to basic services like mass transit and other government programs are cut off. Not to mention the fact that the average European citizen simply can’t afford to pay higher
taxes with rising food prices and ever increasing fuel costs. Furthermore, the banning of “naked” Credit Default Swaps has only increased market volatility, in a counterintuitive
“..witnessing what used to be a once great foundation of intelligence and prosperity collapse into economic shambles is fairly depressing.” attempt by lawmakers to try and control the situation. There is also the potential for a complete financial fiasco, if there is in fact a substantial Greek “haircut” in
Herman Cain’s ad puffs criticism By Michael Margavitch COLUMNIST
Here’s a familiar scene at Hofstra: stressed out students puffing on their cigarettes. How did they start smoking? Usually, it’s either the result of peer pressure, or parents and relatives who smoke around them. Sometimes parents don’t want the blame placed squarely on them even when, in some cases, they really are responsible for their child’s cigarette addiction. What do they do? They blame public figures labeled as role models. The press criticized Disney star Miley Cyrus for smoking cigarettes after paparazzi photos caught her in the act. Now, Republican candidate for the 2012 presidential election, Herman Cain, battles criticism that one of his campaign ads glorifies smoking. In case you missed it, the questionable ad features Mark Block, the mustached manager of Cain’s campaign, calling on supporters to donate their time
the works. Back in June, notable investor Jim Grant stated that the European Central Bank (ECB) was “factually insolvent.” Evidently, Grant’s assessment proves accurate as the ECB currently holds 15 percent of Greek debt, equal to 55 billion Euros, whereas the central bank only has 5.3 Euros in capital. Even if the debt was reduced significantly, the ECB would most likely still be in the red, putting it at the will of the National Central Banks (successfully removing any independence the ECB has
and energy. After his monologue, Block begins to smoke a cigarette. This quickly cuts to a close up of Cain’s face on the right side of his logo with Kristin Branch’s ridiculously cheesy “I Am America” blasting in the background. Many thought the ad was too bizarre not to be a hoax. However, the Cain campaign responded that the ad was meant to be taken seriously.
“If you smoke but don’t want your kids to smoke, you have a problem. That problem is hypocrisy.”
Even Bob Schieffer of Face the Nation aired his grievances about the ad while confronting Cain on his show. Schieffer, a survivor of smokingrelated cancer, felt Cain acted irresponsibly as the Republican frontrunner. He eventually forced Cain, who complied with Schieffer’s request, to directly tell young people not to smoke on his program. At the end of the day, nobody should care. There is plenty more that Herman Cain has done to deserve criticism: the sexual harassment allegations, the possibility of illegal funding of his campaign by
Not everybody views the ad as a laughing matter. People expressed their fury over the use of smoking in the ad not only because it was irrelevant, but because it could be construed as subversive and a bad influence. Obsession plagued analyzers who wanted to know the purpose of the cigarette. Was Cain selling tobacco? Was Herman Cain trying to appear rebellious and draw in a younger or blue collar crowd? What was the Continued on A9 motivation?
left). In laymen terms, this would be outright disastrous for the overall health of the Eurozone as retaining a somewhat strict monetary policy would no longer even be an afterthought. Which begs the question, is a genuine Greek default even likely given the circumstances outlined above? Murray Rothbard, an intellectual known in college classrooms for his work on ethics, once stated, “It all began, as usual, with the Greeks.” How ironic that a nation once known for its profound thought and influence has pushed the European Union towards the brink.
A8 •November 10, 2011
U.S. President writes general op-ed on college loans By Barack Obama
what’s in store for your future, and I know that can be scary. PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES The truth is, the economic Over the last few weeks, I’ve problems we face today didn’t had the opportunity to get out of happen overnight, and they won’t Washington and talk with folks be solved overnight. across the country But the fact that about how we can you’re investing in create jobs and get your education right our economy growing now tells me that you faster. believe in the future This is a tough of America. You time for a lot of want to be a part of Americans – it. And you know that especially young there are steps we people. You’ve come can take right now to of age at a time of put Americans back profound change. to work and give our The world has Photo courtesy of Shin Inouye, Director gotten more of Specialty Media, White House Office economy a boost. connected, of Communications The problem but it’s also is, there are some in Washington gotten more competitive. And who just don’t share that sense for decades, too many of our of urgency. That’s why it’s institutions – from Washington been so disappointing to see to Wall Street – failed to adapt, Republicans in Congress block culminating in the worst financial jobs bills from going forward – crisis and recession since the bills that independent economists Great Depression. For the last three years, we’ve say could create millions of jobs though the kinds of proposals worked to stabilize the economy, supported by Democrats and and we’ve made some progress. Republicans in the past. But we still have a long way to Now, the best way to attack go. And now, as you’re getting our economic challenges and ready to head out into the world, put hundreds of thousands of many of you are watching your people back to work is through friends and classmates struggle bold action in Congress. That’s to find work. You’re wondering why I’m going to keep demanding
that Members of Congress to vote on common-sense, paid-for jobs proposals. And I hope you’ll send them a message to do the right thing for your future, and the future of our country. But we can’t wait for Congress to do its job. So where they won’t act, I will. That’s why, I’ve announced a new policy that will help families whose home values have fallen refinance their mortgages and save thousands of dollars. We made it easier for veterans to get jobs putting their skills to work in hospitals and community health centers. And at the University of Colorado at Denver, I announced steps we’re taking to make college more affordable and to make it even easier for students like you to get out of debt faster. Michelle and I know what it feels like to leave school with a mountain of debt. We didn’t come from wealthy families. By the time we both graduated from law school, we had about $120,000 worth of debt between us. And even though we were lucky enough to land good jobs with steady incomes, it still took
us almost 10 years to finally pay it all off. It wasn’t easy. Living with that much debt forces you to make some tough choices. And when a big chunk of every paycheck goes towards student loans, it isn’t just painful for you – it’s painful to our economy and harmful to our recovery. That’s why we’re making changes that will give about 1.6 million students the ability to cap
These changes will make a real difference for millions of Americans. We’ll help more young people figure out how to afford college. We’ll put more money in your pocket after you graduate. We’ll make it easier to buy a house or save for retirement. And we’ll give our economy a boost at a time when it desperately needs it. That’s not just important for our country right now – it’s important for our future. Michelle and I are where we are today because our college education gave us a chance. Our parents and their generation worked and sacrificed to hand down the dream of opportunity to us. Now it’s our turn. That dream of opportunity is what I want for my daughters, and for all of you. And even in these tough times, we are going to make that dream real once again. In the weeks ahead, I’m going to keep doing everything in my power to make a difference for the American people – including young people like you. Because here in America, when we find a problem, we fix it. When we face a challenge, we meet it. We don’t wait. And I hope you’ll join me.
“We’ll help more young people figure out how to afford college. We’ll put more money in your pocket after you graduate.” their loan payments at 10 percent of their income starting next year. We’re also going to take steps to help you consolidate your loans so that instead of making multiple payments to multiple lenders every month, you only have to make one payment a month at a better interest rate. And we want to start giving students a simple fact sheet called “Know Before You Owe” so you can have all the information you need to make your own decision about paying for college. That’s something Michelle and I wish we had.
2012 debate provides exciting opportunities for L.E.A.P. student By Myron Mathis SPECIAL TO THE CHRONICLE
As we all know, Hofstra has again been selected to host a presidential debate. Why is this a momentous occasion for Hofstra University? I like to think it’s what we represent as a community. With faculty, staff, and students who are civically engaged, and relative closeness to New York City, the epicenter of protests, financial giants, and pop culture, it’s no surprise that Hofstra has become desirable to the public eye. Hofstra encourages students to thoroughly engage in the
political process. Classes take trips to the UN building, while several students have gone on their own to witness the Occupy Wall Street protests. Political clubs on campus are in full force and freshmen interest in the pre-law co-ed fraternity Phi Alpha
“I’d like my first presidential vote to be one I’m proud of when I have grandchildren.” Delta has increased. A recently endowed law school and a great program called L.E.A.P. for undergraduate students to get the opportunity to eventually attend it.
Coming from Virginia, I decided to come here because of the countless opportunities. As Hofstra students, we can be close to the action here on Long Island and in New York City. The looming debate presents an opportunity for me to meet other people equally intrigued by the democratic and political processes as I am. I want to
meet people like the folks I encountered at Zuccotti Park who want a better education and future for their grandkids. I want to see the debaters talk about their stances on deer hunting and abortion. It would be a dream to see the debate live knowing one candidate will undoubtedly be, or remain, the president. Either way, history will be made.
I can’t wait to see if, after the debate, the next president will quickly implement real change that will benefit Americans. What I hope to gain from the debate is a clear decision of whom to vote for. I’d like my first presidential vote to be one I’m proud of when I have grandchildren.
Continued on A9
A9• October 27, 2011
Debate makes student proud of Hofstra Continued from A8
Illustration by Isobel Stanton
Regardless of what party you support, it’s evident both sides anxiously await this event. Right now, I’m almost as excited about finding out who will be the Republican Presidential candidate as I am about the actual debate. Will it be the flip-flopping Mitt Romney or the woman with outlandish claims, Michelle Bachman? The presidential campaigns are ones that never ceases to amaze me; the candidates follow the same obvious tactics yet the general populous seems oblivious to it. Every election cycle, candidates start doing good deeds in swing states that are first to hold their primaries. They make sure their speeches support
a far left or far right ideology to get the votes of the die-hard supporters of their respective parties. Lastly, they wait until election time rolls around to go towards the middle of the political spectrum in order to pick up the moderate vote. Regardless of their sometimes questionable tactics, I do believe the candidates have good intentions. Presidential candidates are patriotic people who want to help the plights of their fellow Americans. Whatever the outcome of the 2012 Presidential Debate may be, I’m proud to say my university, Hofstra University, was directly involved in the process which led to the election of the 45th President of the United States.
Indifference leads college students to forget about off-year Laundry room woes elections By Victoria Neely COLUMNIST
The November 8 election stirred local politicians across the country. But as with all elections, the question remains: why should we college students care? Let me start with the fact that thousands of people fought and died for our right to vote, and it is every citizen’s civic duty to do so. It is very common, especially for the younger generation, to become politically involved during presidential elections. That is often because young people don’t bother with local politics, or don’t feel like their votes in those elections make much of a difference. That assumption is wrong. Local politicians have just as much, and possibly even more of an influence on a young person’s life than the elected president of the United States does. It is your district’s, county’s, and state legislators and officials who directly control many things that you come in contact with on your day-to-day life. It is your school board officials who control the public schools;
county officials who can fix the potholes in your roads; state officers who can balance budgets and control how much taxes you pay. Someone who thinks local politics isn’t important is ignorant and ill-informed. That brings me to the point that as college students, we
prime time in their lives. During these years, we can try new things, and become involved in things that we wouldn’t normally become involved in. Hofstra has politically active clubs that teach students to be responsible and productive citizens. This is something that will get a young person moving positively further in life, instead of sitting back and watching everything happen. Off-year elections can really affect the public on a more local, personal level. After all, do you really think that the President of the United States is the one who will balance your state’s or school district’s budget, fix the roads, build new roads, or generally manage the upkeep of things that many take for granted every single day? No way. It’s the ones who manage things closer to your town, district, county, region, or state are the ones who really have the power to make a difference in your lives.
“...as college students, we should become actively involved in the political process.” should become actively involved in the political process. It is often said that instead of complaining about what you don’t like about our current political economic situation, go out and complete your civic duty of voting. Political efficacy, especially among the youth when it comes to local politics, is a very damaging trend that needs to be reversed as soon as possible. Local officials are the ones who will listen to college students’ wants and needs; they are the ones you need to become familiarized with. College students are at a
Continued from A6 think twice before paying to use all the machines and would be forced to get creative by going off-campus or back home to get their clothes cleaned. Lastly, students would become more accountable for their laundry, bringing an end to the disgusting piles of unclaimed clothes. I understand a departure from a built-in fee may not seem favorable, but for those who
disagree with me, just think about how the real world will greet you after Hofstra. There probably won’t be machines at your disposal, unless you personally spend hundreds or even thousands to buy them. There also won’t be considerate laundromat owners that care if your clothes have been stolen because you didn’t bother watching them. “Cry me a river,” they’ll say to you. “Cry me a freakin’ river.”
Cain’s unwise ad Continued from A7 Block’s Prosperity USA group, and even the misguided use of “I Am America” in the ad. We should focus less on the aesthetic components of ads and instead listen to the message candidates try to convey while taking into account their past actions. Overall, parents should educate their children about good health choices. This includes
warning their children of the dangers of smoking. If you smoke but you don’t want your kids to smoke, you have a problem. That problem is hypocrisy. You have to lead by example if you desire a specific outcome. Don’t blame Miley Cyrus. Don’t blame Herman Cain. Take responsibility for yourself and your actions.
A 10 November 10, 2011
A 11â€˘november 10, 2011
Fall at HoFstra Photos and spread by Michaela Papa
Near Bits N Bytes
Outside Adamâ€™s Playhouse
Outside Dempster Hall
Vol.77 issue 9
Arts & Entertainment KEEPING HOFSTRA UNIVERSITY Entertained SINCE 1935
november 10, 2011
Hypnotist Knocks â€˜Em Out Courtesy of Jared Cohen
B 2• November 10 , 2011
‘Tower Heist’ offers a tall order of laughs By Gary Newman
Special to the chroNicle
Brett ratner’s tower heist brought me back to the old days of comedy. a time when it wasn’t all about someone smoking massive amounts of weed to make the situations funny. the cast included comedy all stars Ben Stiller, eddie Murphy and Matthew Broderick. i’ll admit, going into this movie i was nervous because of the high expectations i have of these actors. The movie definitely provided the laughs i hoped for. Josh Kovaks (Ben Stiller) is a tightly wired general manager of the tower apartment building. everything is going great until wealthy apartment owner arthur Shaw (alan alda) gets exposed of fraud by FBi special agent claire Denham (tea leoni). When the money he invested in the tower no longer exists, the employees realize they no longer will have a pension. Stiller then teams up with his lackluster team to get the money they need. the best comeback actor in the movie was Matthew Broderick. Broderick plays Mr. Fitzhugh, a poor helpless man who is going to be evicted from his tower apartment. Many believed this film to be Eddie Murphy’s come-
back, but Matthew Broderick provided the most humor for me. his desperate attempts to make sense of his failures while trying to help steal millions of dollars gave Broderick a lot to work with and he captured it brilliantly. eddie Murphy plays Slide, a sad excuse of a robber who teaches the inexperienced robbers the tricks of the trade. Murphy definitely showed glimpses of his past in tower heist. it was great to see him reach back to his roots from the 80’s as the smartass everyone loves.the only thing missing was his flat top, which i have been dying to see again. the supporting characters added to an already star heavy cast. Casey Affleck plays Charlie, Josh’s brother in-law caught between his need for a job and money and following Josh on his quest for good. Stephen McKinley henderson who plays lester was an extremely lovable character that provided heart-wrenching moments along with anticsmade you giggle. tower heist is a great combination of hysterical moments and the extents people will go to help those they care about and battle against the greedy snobs at the top of our society. it is the can’t miss comedy of the fall season.
Courtesy of www.universalstudios.com Ben Stiller stars as the general manager of the Tower apartment building in “Tower Heist.”
‘Other F Word’ shows practical side of punks
Courtesy of www.theotherfwordmovie.com
A member of Rise Against sits plays for daughter in “The Other F Word.”
By Samantha chichester Special to the chroNicle
“the other F Word” opens by playing pennywise’s “F---
authority.” though one of the most recognizable songs in punk rock, this is the beginning of a movie about fatherhood. contradictory? Maybe. the
documentary about famous punk rocker musicians becoming fathers opened last week in independent movie theaters. the movie which runs about 99 minutes, asks the main question to viewers, “What happens when a generation’s ultimate anti-authoritarians, punk rockers, become society’s ultimate authorities- dads?” Sometimes it is sad. Singer of pennywise, Jim lindberg, chronicles life for a year with his wife and three young daughters. he tries to balance being the singer of a respected band with fans and being there for his children. When the music industry and artists are seeing significant revenue loss, going on tour is one of the few practical ways to put food on the table. So missing first days of school, dances, and birthdays are normal when lindberg spends
over 200 days out of the year on tour. Sometimes it is funny. For the heavily tattooed rancid guitarist, lars Frederiksen, he says he’s teaching his son being a moral person is more important than how you look. as he says this, the playground clears slowly at the sight of him coming. comparing appearances to where Frederiksen lives he says, “What’s working for me is that i live in San Francisco. So to be noticed you have to be naked or on fire.” Sometimes it is touching. throughout the course of the movie, many musicians reveal they didn’t have spectacular relationships with their fathers. Michael Balzary, better known as Flea, the bassist of the red hot chili peppers, says about his parents, “i don’t think they
focused on the job they really had.” Now Flea is probably the last guy on earth (think abbey road ep cover) you think might bring you the waterworks, but as he sits playing piano with his daughter you know he has never seen being a parent as more crucial. he almost cries when he says to his daughter, “i’m going to be there for you even if i’m on the other side of the world. When you talk to me on the phone, i’m going to be present.” after 19 years in pennywise, wanting to be there for your children becomes too much for lindberg. he quits the band to watch his daughters grow up. In a way, the film ends perfectly. Fading out with against Me!’s “i Was a teenage anarchist,” the movie poster sums it up best: “Sometimes a little anarchy can be a life changing experience.”
Tequila Mockingbird brings a barrel full of laughs By Manon Braciszewski Special to the chroNicle
on Friday November 4th at 8 p.m. tequila Mockingbird, hofstra’s improve comedy troop, performed a free show at the Spiegel theater. the night started off with the troop asking the audience for suggestions. the crowd was responsive and yelled out a series of unrelated words for the group to choose from. the chosen word was penguin. previously having been at one of the troop’s first performances, where the chosen suggestion was also “penguin!” i was unenthused for this particular noun. the eight members stood in a line as they told anecdotes relating to the word, bouncing them off one another. they took the stories and improved scenes relating to the topics, having usually two of the troop members in each skit. When this began there were definitely some stand out performers and some whimsical story lines. ashley Medeiros was a crowd favorite and was truly impressive at making every skit hilarious. Jake link, who was also excellent, performed a scene alongside ashley in which a younger brother was jealous of his older sister and would do anything to get all of the attention. it really was entertaining and stood out when audience members were asked their favorite skit of the night.
When the group members were uncertain of who would begin the scene, there would sometimes be a silent pause as they all looked at each other wondering who would grab the opportunity. this left the crowd feeling uncomfortable at times. Will atkins and tyler higgins both appeared when an awkward punch line was needed, and displayed some over the top comical performances throughout the night. i was intrigued and tickled during one scene involving creepy dinosaurs that enticed little children to come “touch” them. the group worked collectively on this piece and its story line grew funnier each time it was revisited. always adding an entertaining twist, Kat hussey and adam Foster were great additions to many story lines portraying sometimes serious, yet particularly wacky characters. the show received a very positive reaction and was spontaneously clever. Though some scenes fell flat, and there were a bit too many whining child impressions, the show kept me interested and was truly funny and creative. tequila Mockingbird definitely displayed some impressive improving skills and kept the audience entertained throughout the show. it was a fantastically funny experience i would recommend to others.
“The show recieved a very positive reaction and was spontaneously clever.”
B 3• November 10, 2011
Hypnotist brings real talent and real laughs By Katie Webb
aSSiStaNt eNtertaiNMeNt eDitor
For those that are skeptical about whether hypnotism actually works, rest assured you’re not alone in your doubts. When Kevin hurley, a comedy hypnotist and the headliner of the night’s entertainment, took the stage Friday the 4th at hofstra USa the mood of the audience was excited if not a bit apprehensive. opening for hurley was Sigma’ cappella with an amazing performance as always and haha hofstra with a few disturbing if not cringe worthy lead in jokes. after the opening acts the audience was told by the hypnotist, as the eighteen volunteers rushed the stage to be put into a trance, they only needed to be open to the experience to make it work. “the induction” or beginning of the hypnotism as hurley called it, is the most crucial part. the volunteers were told above all to relax and let go of all anxiety and frustration. they were also told to, “say hi to the person next to you, because this is about to become a cuddle fest.” his tone was mocking, but his words couldn’t have been truer. “this is where the real fun begins,” hurley said to the audience with a slightly maniacal edge and a smirk. With a few persuasive words and the light touch of his finger, Hurley could convince the volunteers to do, say, and believe almost anything. the real trick was spotting those who were actually in a trance from those faking it. the volunteers were teased if not slightly tormented with a parade of embarrassing actions. From flying jet planes to a man giving birth to getting one girl to believe she had a lust for band aids, the students were convinced of many silly scenarios. at one point the hypnotist told them they all had found the cutest pets on earth, and when he asked them what they were one boy claimed he had a white tiger named roy from europe that he hugged and petted adoringly. another volunteer, Molly Sternin remembered having a baby unicorn in her lap, and few other
things after the show except the epic dance that took place. For the final illusion the hypnotist convinced some of the students, others could be seen cracking up coherently in the back, that they were all finalists of dancing with the starts. as anyone who has ever been to a bar off campus can tell you, if there is one thing hofstra students can do it’s over the top, sexual, strange dancing they won’t remember in the morning. as the guys started getting into the loud music that was pumped into the room the girls went from throwing their clothes around to fiercely fighting over the guys. the hypnotist quickly began running around tapping people on the heads to make them pass out, and so that an all out brawl would not ensue on stage. rita Mccann, one of the most vivacious dancers and charismatic participants, said after she walked dizzily off the stage with a perplexed look on her face, “i think i remember everything, but i don’t know. i don’t know.” When hurley awarded the last man standing his title of best dancer he also awarded him the last prank of the night.
Whispering to the befuddled boy that the hottest girl he had ever seen had just walked in, addressing what the audience could see was a microphone stand with a cloth on it, he encouraged him to dance with “her.” the poor blinded boy did so hilariously, inciting a riot of cheering in the audience, as he threw off the cloth and began unbuttoning his shirt. hurley advised him, “hit her with your signature pick up line,” but instead the boy began making out with the mic on stage. as the crowd roared Hurley finally mercifully put the volunteer to sleep. hurley explained that it doesn’t work on everyone. Some people experience hypnotic amnesia which is like having a blackout while others remember everything hazily, but could not say no to the power of persuasion. Whether or not you believe in hypnotism now is up to you, perhaps the only way to prove it once and for all is to be brave enough to jump up on stage like the others. Neil Schloth summed up his experience saying, “i remembered parts of what was happening, but it’s almost like trying to remember a dream.”
Courtesy of Jared Cohen
Kevin Hurley dispelled doubts and dished out the laughs last Friday with his hypnotism act.
B 4• November 10 , 2011
By Matt Ern ColuMnist
HIMYM - “Disaster Averted” Grade: Aas much as i love Jason Segel, it’s not often that Marshal is the highlight of an episode of “how i Met Your Mother.” But this week’s unusually strong episode also had some of the best Marshal-moments the show has served up in years. as the gang recounts the story of hurricane irene to robin’s boyfriend Kevin, Barney begs Marshal to let him take off the ducky tie because he’s meeting Nora’s parents in two days. the week leading up to the hurricane was particularly stressful for Marshal, whose health insurance had just run out after he quit his job leaving him two uncovered weeks before he could be added to lily’s plan. Marshal spends the week in a state of constant panic, fearing that death is all around him. Segel delivers a great monologue in front of his mantle about the grim reaper. all of Marshal’s fantasies about how he might die involve a bear attacking him (whether he’s on the way to get bagels or just washing up in Barney’s bathroom). and best of all, the episode invoked Marshal and Barney’s slap bet, which often leads to some of the show’s best moments. Barney eventually
trades wearing the ducky tie for three extra slaps from Marshal, two of which Marshal takes immediate advantage of. the icing on the cake was a heartwarming ending where Barney and robin make out in the back of a cab after making fun of themselves for almost kissing the day of the hurricane. “Disaster averted” is really just a fun episode, between all the slapping and bear costumes we also got great “everyone make fun of ted” moments and robin being totally underwhelmed with the storm (“this is bikini weather in canada!”). hopefully the show can keep up its momentum next week.
Hell On Wheels - “Hell On Wheels” Grade: Aif aMc has proven anything, it’s that it knows how to make a successful drama. “Mad Men” cleans up Best Dramatic Series emmys as easily as Bryan cranston wins outstanding lead actor in a Drama Series for his work on “Breaking Bad.” toss in the ratings giant that is “the Walking Dead” and “hell on Wheels” seems destined to be a hit. and the pilot almost lives up to these expectations. “hell on Wheels” takes place during reconstruction era america as the track for the transcontinental railroad is being laid out. cullen Bohannon is a former confederate soldier who heads west
By Bryan Menegus colUMNiSt
The Beach Boys - The SMiLE Sessions Grade: A looking for work on the railroad. But it soon becomes apparent he has ulterior motives and is actually investigating the death of his wife. the pilot touches on a lot of great conflicts of the time period that are sure to make for great episodes in the future. Former soldiers regret the horrible things they saw and did during the war. a Native american is baptized and now finds himself stuck between two worlds. a land surveyor is murdered by Native americans. throw in a corrupt business man abusing government grants to build the railroad, and you have the trappings of a pretty interesting season to come. the scene of the Native american attack was genuinely terrifying, with palpable tension. they attack the settlers without remorse, scalping and killing. the scene was easily more dramatic than anything that has been going on in “the Walking Dead” this season, which is probably more of a commentary on how that show has failed. the point is, the Native americans of “hell on Wheels” are not to be taken lightly and almost any scene featuring them is sure to be great.
Want More TV That Matters? go to www.hofstrachronicle.com for more of Matt’s column.
SMile began in the early 60’s as the Beach Boys’ most ambitious and obtuse project to date—until it was terminated due to spiraling morale within the band, and Brian Wilson’s now-famous descent into paranoia and crippling depression. this box set is as close as anyone will come to hearing Wilson’s original intentions. like the record’s conception, this release is nothing short of sprawling: a massive 5-cd set with full songs, excerpts, and a track-by-track analysis of certain song. For less dedicated fans, the first disc will suffice. SMiLE rich with both the layered beauty and clandestine insanity of Wilson’s compositions, and possesses (due to it’s debt to so many styles of music) a timelessness which makes it fresh in comparison to today’s pop music, but also ancient-sounding when juxtaposed with other projects from its era. this is a truly stellar achievement.
RIYL: Gorgeous nervous breakdowns Owen - Ghost Town Grade: C+ Sometimes these guys go by end of Year, other times by Self Defense Family, and other times still as Self Defense Music. Who gives a shit what their name is—for a scant three songs (one of which is a darkly humorous spoken word piece), this record is remarkably inventive— heavy yet atmospheric, impassioned but patient. calling them by their right name might be as difficult as categorizing them, but this is a band to watch out for.
RIYL: Other Owen records, Red House Painters Four Year Strong - In Some Way, Shape, or Form Grade: D there was never a time when Four Year Strong weren’t kind of lame. however, on previous records rise or Die trying and enemy of the World, there was so much exuberance (and a surprising amount of talent) that even for serious cynics, their stylings were difficult to hate. On their latest record, something in the formula has been altered, and the results are nothing short of radio buttrock. avoid at all costs
RIYL: Anchor tattoos, The Wonder Years Courtesy of www.amctv.com
AMC’s new show, “Hell On Wheels,” concerns the world of the American West and building of the railroads.
Chronicle Vol.75 Issue 12 Vol. 77 issue 9
November 19, 2009
KEEPING HOFSTRA UNIVERSITY Entertained SINCE 1935
November 10th, 2011
Continuing to feed lies, mistruths, and spellang errors to Hofstra student body
Cast of Grease to reunite one last time before firing the frozen head of John Travolta into space.
By Robot Tussin Staff Hallucination
The world wept in unison last Monday when American treasure John Travolta passed away. Even more shocking than the news of Travolta’s death was that his will stipulated his head be frozen and fired into space before the next full moon. According to a statement released by his lawyer, Travolta’s will clearly dictates that his head be removed using a compact meat and bone saw with a minimum blade speed of 15 feet per second and that it should be cryogenically frozen at a temperature no more than zero degrees kelvin. It goes on to say that the frozen head should be strapped to a
rocket and fired into the sun. “Those closest to John would remember that he was terribly afraid of the waning gibbous moon and therefore it would only make sense to launch the rocket by the time the next full moon rolls around,” says Travolta’s wife Kelly Preston. “It’s very important to me that we honor John’s last requests.” Travolta has been secretly funding the construction of his head sized rocket for years, spending most of his earnings from “Old Dogs” on the propulsion system. “Hairspray paid for the guidance system,” added Preston. In order to give Mr. Travolta a proper send off, the cast of the movie
Grease is planning a reunion at the launch of Travolta’s head. “It’ll be great to see everyone again, we all haven’t been in a room together since we wrapped filming,” says an enthusiastic Olivia Newton John. “We really want to do something special for the fans.” Plans for the reunion include the cast reenacting scenes from the movie while a figure dressed in all black stands in as Danny Zuko and Travolta’s original dialogue is played over the P.A. As the final lines of “We Go Together” are sung, the rocket will reportedly be launched from Travolta’s private airfield in Ocala, Florida.
The living cast members of ‘Face/Off’ were in attendance to keep mourners from making the tempting but clearly tasteless “greased lightning” jokes upon liftoff.
Economics: glitter more valuable than American dollar
By Smiles Davis Staff Rabbit
As the value of the American dollar continues to drop, a new currency stands poised to dominate the wallets and purses of the American public. Glitter, the chosen currency of craft enthusiasts and crappy basement raves, has now surpassed the American dollar by a .81% margin, leading many retailers to accept it as
a legitimate form of currency, much to the chagrin of economists and people who really hate glitter. “I’m super stoked too see this catch on,” said Elizabeth Teeth while bejeweling a sweater already made entirely of little plastic jewels. “I’m rolling in so much dough, and you can tell, because it sticks to you for, like, weeks.” When asked what kind of impact this would
have on the economy, Ms. Teeth, who was attempting to wear her fabric-less jewel sweater only said, “I can’t put my arms down.” Critics have thus far only voiced criticism over the time it would take to count individual pieces of glitter, each one equating to about .2456% of a regular penny, or if leaving a strip club was technically considered theft. Franklin Mint, the ironi-
cally -named chief of the Denver Mint also remains skeptical as glitter threatens to doom the now fledgling business of printing money. “I got stuck behind an old woman counting out pieces of glitter at the Piggly Wiggly the other day. It took hours, and it turns out she wasn’t even old, she was just wearing somebody’s dead grandmother’s clothes.” He only
added, “What’s a Crystal Castles?” Whether or not glitter actually poses a real threat to traditional paper and coin-based currency is still being discussed by leading economists. Jonathan Meyer, one such economist only had this to say: “Things are getting pretty bad here [America]. Let’s just get weird with it.”
Exact clone replaces President Stuart Rabinowitz; nothing changes.
Advice: how you can be rebelious without leaving the comfort of your own home.
I am bleeding from several new holes in my body, please help me.
More on page B5
More on page 666
More on page 7.2
C 2• November 10th, 2011
Letter to the editor:
This is not the sandwich I ordered By Smiles Davis Staff Rabbit
Last week I had the absolute displeasure of patronizing the absolute worst Sonic Hamburger Restaurant I have seen in my entire 36 years on this earth. The wait staff was sloppy, the music was awful, and the sharpie I was using to write down a comprehensive list of everything I have ever smelled ran out of ink. On top of all of that, I did not receive the sandwich that I ordered. I had ordered the SuperSonic Double Bacon Cheeseburger, hold the mayo, but instead only got the Sonic Bacon Cheeseburger, hold the mayo. Disgusted, I promptly took my order back after eating it, and was told I would not receive a refund as I had “already consumed the burger.” This has filled me with absolute rage. I do not pay taxes to see this kind of indiscriminate disregard for proper customer service take hold of the once prestigious fast food industry. In fact, I do not pay taxes at all. I do all of my shopping in Delaware to avoid sales tax, which is a great burden considering my residency in Minnesota. You may be wondering why I am writing this to a college newspaper, and not to Clifford Hudson, CEO of Sonic
Corp, and that answer is simple. Your secondrate paper is the perfect platform to announce my candidacy for President of The United States of America. I, Phillip Moore, have been fed up by the course this country has taken over the past two weeks, and I plan to change that. No longer will water fountains only dispense water, but milk as well. As president, I will teach all dogs to walk themselves, all cowboys will be released from prison, and gravity will be altered to make everyone a little lighter. I promise to end the prohibition on huffing gasoline, and will fight to make sure no American get a wrong sandwich, only to be denied a refund after eating it. These are promises you can count on, because I am a Libertarian, and I am proud. So make your move, Washington Fat Cats. There’s a new mayor in town, and his name is President Phillip Moore, Dog Whisperer. It’s time we take a slam-dunk out of crime, and fight for the little man, Verne Troyer. Sincerely, Philip Moore Cat Screamer Future President of The United States Of America
Man on the Unispan Where do you see yourself after graduation?
“I could end up anywhere and it wouldn’t matter, as long as I’m happy!” -Joe Randal, Freshman
“Hopefully in Paris with my very faithful girlfriend.” -Joe Randal, Sophomore
“Drunk, on the streets, and dead by the first snowstorm.” -Joe Randal, Junior
“Jesus Christ stop asking me--it doesn’t matter as long as I have a job that pays.” -Joe Randal, Senior
In addition, Hofstra to host intergalactic debate
By Robot Tussin Staff Hallucination
Following Hofstra’s successful track record hosting United States Presidential debates, the Intergalactic Peacekeeping Council has selected the carbon-based univsersity to be the location of the next Intergalactic Debate, to be held four million earth years from now. Choosing Hofstra to be the host was not an easy
decision because our oxygen rich atmosphere poses a problem to many beings from the Crab Nebula who rely on copper breathing apparatuses. Some also questioned Hofstra’s security after a U.S. presidential candidate will be assassinated there in the year 2050. pXt&tt%C, a being made of pure energy, is a front runner for the debate with a √1936% approval rating among star systems in the
Andromeda Galaxy. It’s Bromine mining platform is very popular among the reptilian inhabitants of Torus, a planet ravaged by wars to control the bromine mines. Dark horse candidate P9-GGG will represent our neighboring solar system in the debate. While his high titanium taxes have made him unpopular among many in the outlying systems, his policy of amnesty for anyone left
homeless when the Canin Major Dwarf Galaxy was imploded by space pirates has earned him great respect. Many residents of Earth resent being selected to hold the debate because of candidate Xerrup of Pluto’s plan to steal the Earth’s atmosphere. This is in response to Earth scientists attempting to downgrade Pluto’s planetary status so that it would receive fewer votes in the
senate in a shameless act of gerrymandering. Xerrup defends his plan to steal our atmosphere by saying it is more humane than his first idea, which was to push us into the sun. Once Earth’s second moon finishes cooling, candidates will be expected to start arriving for the debate. Delegates from 43i different star systems are expected to be in attendance for the townhall style debate.
November 10th, 2011• C 3
Bicycle to graduate from Hofstra with honors
By Eddie Money The Ghost with the Most
At the end of next semester, one of the hardest-working, most tireless members of Hofstra’s student body will be receiving a welldeserved honor. A bike ,which has been chained to a dying maple tree in front of the David S. Mark Student Center for the past 11 years, is slated to graduate in May with a dual degree in anthropology and going faster down hills. “We had out doubts about this one,” said academic advisor Alison Milquetoast, “but this bike really got itself in high gear, and its past 8 semesters were markedly stronger than the previous 14. I don’t know if it was extra help or good old fashioned WD-40, but that thing is graduating summa cum laude!” The bike—a Schwinn Panther—is a smartly fashionable single-speed city model which many students considered a permanent fixture of their college experiences. Said one alumnus, Eddie Graduate, “I remember that thing. Yeah, it pretty much just sat there.”
Members of the faculty are both upset by the loss of one of their most cooperative students and proud of this landmark achievement. “It takes a lot of moxy for a bike to graduate from college,” said Dee Kimberman, the Schwinn’s English professor in the bike’s first, third, and seventh sophomore years, “It’s comparable to the achievements of Alexander Twilight— the first black person to graduate from an American college; or Rebecca Lee Crumpler, the first black woman to receive an M.D. degree; or Sarah Breedlove, the black woman who’s entrepreneurship in hair care put her in the Guinness Book of World Records as the first black woman to make a million dollars by her own achievements. This Schwinn is living on the knife’s edge of civil rights!” She added, “Although it’s probably most like that bike that just graduate from Adelphi last spring. Talk about coasting through an education.” She punctuated her disgust by lobbing several freshly sharpened pencils into the drop ceiling of a rival professor’s classroom.
Difficulties arose while planning the graduation ceremony—which was slated to include staffers using the bike for victory laps—when it was discovered that the student who had initially chained up the bicycle had dropped out of Hofstra almost a decade prior. The student, Remi Goldshlagger, who is now employed as a systems analyst in Milwaukee, where he lives at 135 Oak Terrace, appt. 4D, was unable to be contacted.
“That’s a long distance phone call,” said President Dean of Deans Stuart Rabinowitz while flossing with silk. “Who cares if we don’t unlock it? I was a big enough idiot to let a f--ing bike graduate from my school, and I won’t sully my reputation further by talking to anyone in an ugly, ugly place like Milwaukee.” Outside, several trash fires burned indifferently. A verdict was reached to allow the Schwinn to graduate in absentia,
and to have a mailbox installed near its rusted carcass where the bike could receive its diploma. Presently, plans are to have the bicycle remain shackled until the tree it’s chained to dies or the bike itself falls apart form sheer neglect. In the words of Professor Ben N. Jerry, “Like I can confidently say of any other student of Hofstra, ‘this is a bike that’s really going places.’”
The first student to graduate from Hofstra University without a mountain of debt.
Hip student brings back cassettes, racism
By Smiles Davis Staff Rabbit
Tyler Caldwell, a Caucasian, junior music management major, has always been known around campus for setting trends. In his freshman year, Caldwell shocked the campus fashion scene by wearing a scarf he was actively knitting. Since then, he has effectively popularized the Zune Media Player, boots that are visibly too small, baggy socks, and is on public record for being the first person to ever say, “Hey guys, remember ‘Ahh, Real Monsters!’?” Well into his third
year of school, Caldwell is showing no signs of deviating from the cutting edge, and he has recently done it again by donning an old Walkman, accompanied by a cassette, and casually slipping racist remarks into everyday conversation. “Yeah, vinyl is pretty hip right now, but cassettes are really where it’s at,” said Caldwell in a sit down interview, “there’s much more warmth than other, more traditional methods, and they are a much cheaper option. Also, you don’t have to deal with as many Jews as you would buying vinyl.” When questioned if
his casual racism would garner him a poor reputation given the country’s effort to work towards equality for many decades, not to mention a new social order than looks down on racism, Caldwell seemed indifferent stating that racism is “totally vintage” and that he would rather talk about cassettes. “You give a girl a mix CD, and she’s probably thinking about just popping it in her computer and listening to it that night. If you give a girl a mix tape, she’ll probably be all like, ‘Crap, how am I going to listen to this?’” He added, “It totally adds
to my mystique. Well, that and this t-shirt calling for the re-segregation of schools.” When asked if he has received any backlash over his new trends, he responded with the affirmative, saying he often hears catcalls over his use of cassette decks and large vintage headphones.
P or n!!
“One kid even tried to break my Walkman. It was cold.” When re-asked if he had received any backlash over his totally unacceptable use of racism in everyday conversation, he simply shook his head. “White people are worse than you’d think. Black power.”
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C 4• November 10th, 2011
Lackmann to only serve eggnog year-round
By Eddie Money The Ghost with the Most
After significant backlash from the student body regarding the quality and nutritional value of its products, Lackman food announced its bold new plan to keep Hofstra matriculates fit, fed, and festive: replace all available beverages with non-alcoholic eggnog. Lackman Culinary Services has, however, heavily encouraged students to add their own alcohol to receive the full extent of this seasonal elixir’s health benefits. “Eggnog—or ‘nog’ as I like to call it—is low in fat, high in B vitamins, and bears a striking resemblance to paint. It’s brainfood,” said Lackman President Ojad Gomez, “it’s also really easy to get really sick of the ‘nog’ in a
short span of time.” Students have already embraced the change to their usual beverage options. Morgan Androgynous, a nondescript studies major, said, “Eggnog is one of those thing that has a lot of distinct imagery attached to it—the crisp smell of the first snowfall, the feel of old mittens. It’s reminiscent of the time of year when everyone is trapped inside horrid, bulky clothing that destroys any indicators of gender of sexuality, simply because they’re trying to stave of the looming threat of frostbite, which can effect male and female extremities equally.” He or she added, “I wish it stayed this way yearround. But since that won’t ever happen during my miserable lifetime, I’ll take the eggnog.” James Blunt, a sophomore and women’s studies major
agrees that the solution to Hofstra’s gastronomical problems may be solved with eggnog. “It’s just such a winter thing,” he said staring off distantly, “eggnog reminds everyone of the time of year when every miserable college couple finally breaks up. I’ll be happy to swill this stuff straight through May, because if I can’t have her, no one can.” Blunt began funneling several gallons of his beverage of sorrows before vomiting onto a picture of his own mother. The popularity of the menu change has prompted many of the off-campus fraternities and sororities to purchase the eggnog from Lackman in bulk, as it comes in pressurized kegs. It was discovered by these pioneers early on that— although non-alcoholic— the aftereffects of choking down several pints of
eggnog were akin to a massive dose of PCP. The Hempstead DPW has found itself up to the ears in milky white vomit since Lackman made it’s sweeping menu decision; several students have already sought medical attention for injuries as diverse as peeling their own faces off, shooting cops, and carving the word ‘NOG 4 LIFE’ into their chests with evergreen branches. As a closing remark Mr. Gomez noted cheerily, “It’ll be like Christmas all year round—everyone’s pretending to be happy, drinking out of spite for their fellow man, and doing terrible things to their own bodies. And just like Christmas, everything is so awful that no one remembers how bad the food was.”
Office.” Since his induction to the presidency, Obama has strayed away from television, partially due to a lack of time, partially due to biased opinions on news shows. “But I still love the Office,” said Obama, “and I can’t wait to see how this season begins”. With a recent announcement to pull all troops out of Iraq, a collapse of
the European economy, contests in the GOP 2012 race, and Justin Bieber’s baby mama drama, Obama simply has not had enough time to watch the popular NBC comedy. “The last episode I saw was “The Search Committee” so I don’t know who they picked as the new branch manager. Joey B told me it was Ray Romano but he was snick-
ering when he did it. I don’t believe him. I hope it’s the Hangover guy.” Last reports on President Obama said he was sitting comfortably in his bed, watching the sitcom in his pajamas. When asked about his intentions after his presidency, Obama said: “Breaking Bad”.
Obama finally catching up on ‘The Office’
By Baby Cakes Has a Nice Rack
Washington DCJoe Biden answered questions in lieu of President Barack Obama, at a press conference on Tuesday. When asked about the President’s absence, Biden replied: “The President’s tired. He needs rest. He’s in his bedroom, watching the
Public Safety Briefs
November 3st - November 10th, 2011 On November 6th, a PSO responded to a call in Alliance Hall from an RA who said the room smelled like marijuana. Upon entering, the PSO realized that the students in the room were actually Public Safety Officers, and he in fact was a student. He unreceived a meta-summons. A student was found alone and sober on a Saturday night. He received friends and were told to take college seriously.
A group of unstable mute students were apprehended for trying to start a quiet riot. All were released and given a clean bill of metal health.
On November 8th, several nuclear explosions destroyed 75% of the Northeastern Coast. You are reading this in purgatory. A student was found wearing a tuxedo. He was left alone.
A satircal insert to The Chronicle, written and produced by Nonsense Humor Magazine
201 Student Center Editor-in-Chief Bryan Menegus AKA Eddie Money Managing Editor Cody Heintz Shoes Editor Meg O’Connor Jokes Editor Marc Butcavage AKA Smiles Davis Staff Writers Matt Ern & Andrew McNally AKA Robot Tussin & Baby Cakes Internet Vizier Andrew Lumby Plot Twists M. Night Shyamalan DISCLAIMER: NONSENSE is Hofstra’s only intentional humor magazine and the Nonicle is an extension thereof. We meet once a week and produce three issues per semester. The views expressed herein do not necessarily represent the views of Hofstra University. Any likeness to people existing or fictional is purely coincidental.
The Potheads’ Honor Roll Since 1935
A PSO working the Oak Street booth on November 5th reported a student skateboarded through the gate without identifying himself. The student was later identified as Tony Hawk and given a high five. Several students were found drinking on the roof of Hofstra Hall on November 4th. Turn to page 5 if you would like to see them arrested. Turn to pages 10 if you would like to party with them.
A student was found wandering the grounds near Breslin Hall. They were identified as an existentialist and banned from Camus. Billy Joel was apprehended by both Public Safety and the NCPD for arson on October 29th. His 1989 single was deemed retroactively false. A man was fishing on his day off in Baudette, MN. The man was issued a summons.
A non-student from West Hempstead was found wandering campus offering to sell marijuana to students. He was told to go to OSLA and get a table like everyone else. On November 9th, a PSO discovered the first Hofstra student in fifteen years with any political convictions whatsoever. He was commended, respectfully asked to transfer, and issued a summons.
A 12•November 10, 2011
Jake’s Health Corner: Completing the proper squat By Jake Boly STAFF WRITER
Ever wonder what is the best exercise you’re not doing? The deep squat. Some of you probably saw this one coming, although it always surprises me that many people skip the squat. Why is this? Is it because it’s uncomfortable? Is it too hard? Maybe you can’t physically do them (yet). If the last scenario is you, the leg press has been shown to develop leg muscles at the same rate the squat does. People assume since the leg press is so great, why don’t we just leg press and leave out deep squats? Squats have a significant amount of benefits that out weigh just the development of muscle. To begin lets clarify what a squat is: verb: Crouch or sit with knees bent and heels close to touching the buttocks or the back of thighs . noun: A position in which knees are bent and heels are close to or touching the buttocks or back of thighs. A squat is bringing your glutes to parallel or lower. Now let’s examine the benefits. Squats increase the amount of natural growth hormones and testosterone. This not only increases strength throughout the whole body but also furthers your endeavors in achieving more muscle all around. Flexibility and balance, squatting influences flexibility regarding your core, back, hips, and legs. With balance if you’re strengthening the core and back your center of balance will become stronger.
A benefit that most people don’t realize is the positive effect squatting has on running. A lot of times people assume squatting will give you huge bulky legs, in a study performed on rugby played that wasn’t the case. While tracking squats and leg strength training the player’s 30 meter run-time actually increased after the strength training. So what’s the proper form for a squat? While moving under the bar keep your chest up and place the bar on your upper back muscles, just below the bone at the top of your shoulder blades. Remember to keep your head straight or a little down keeping your back and head align. Grip the bar while tightening your upper back and keeping your elbows back. Your toes should be pushed out from 30 to 45 degrees. 1. Your hips should be back as if going butt-first to sit on a chair. 2. Knees over toes, I can’t stress enough the importance of the movement in keeping your knees over your toes. 3. Beware when you drop down to parallel or below, you don’t knock your knees together or totally buckle them out as you rise up from the squat position. 4. Lastly, keep the weight on your heels and drive up keeping your hips and back aligned with one motion. One should not rise faster than the other. I hope this article has shown you how deep squats should be added into any exercise regime due to the massive amounts of benefits. Next week, I’ll talk about the ideal amount of exercise the body should receive and benefits best at. For now, I’ll be deep squatting.
Photo Courtesy of Jake Boly Jake demonstrates the proper method to complete a squat by pretending to sit butt-first in a chair.
BOYS GIRLS PARTIES DRINKING DRUGS CLASS SUCKS greek life fraternities sororities greasy food late nights roommates dorms papers bars BOYS GIRLS PARTIES DRINKING DRUGS CLASS SUCKS greek life fraternities sororities greasy food late nights roommates dorms papers barsBOYS GIRLS PARTIES DRINKING DRUGS CLASS SUCKS greek life fraternities sororities greasy food late nights roommates dorms papers barsBOYS GIRLS PARTIES DRINKING DRUGS CLASS SUCKS greek life fraternities sororities greasy food late nights roommates dorms papers barsBOYS GIRLS PARTIES DRINKING DRUGS CLASS SUCKS greek life fraternities sororities greasy food late nights roommates dorms papers barsvBOYS GIRLS PARTIES DRINKING DRUGS CLASS SUCKS greek life fraternities sororities greasy food late nights roommates dorms papers barsBOYS GIRLS PARTIES DRINKING DRUGS CLASS SUCKS greek life fraternities sororities greasy food latenights roommates dorms papers barsBOYS GIRLS PARTIES DRINKING DRUGS CLASS SUCKS greek life fraternities sororities greasy food late nights roommates dorms papers barsBOYS GIRLS PARTIES DRINKING DRUGS CLASS SUCKS greek life food late nights roommates dorms papers barsBOYS GIRLS PARTIES DRINKING DRUGS CLASS SUCKS greek life fraternities sororities greasy food late nights roommates dorms papers barsBOYS GIRLS DRUGS CLASS SUCKS greek life fraternities
FRESHMEN DO’S AND DON’TS
By Sophie Strawser STAFF WRITER
As freshmen, I hope that everyone, by now, has started to feel comfortable here at Hofstra. I have to say that from my perspective, it is being to show. The freshman class looked impeccable the first few weeks. Not that we don’t look impeccable now, but we now are exposing our true colors. Sweats are as common as alcohol. (Not funny, completely joking.) Let’s walk through the fashion days of the school week. Monday. Ah, Monday. The day when everyone is on edge, grumpy, and wishing the week away. Clothing: Matching Hofstra sweatpants and sweatshirt (matching: aren’t you cute). Tuesday has more promise. Classes you haven’t had since Thursday keep you motivated. Clothing: Jeans and a V-neck; you throw on a scarf if you’re feeling
crazy. Wednesday, my personal favorite, is the day that you see the light at the end of the tunnel. The tunnel obviously refers to the Hofstra work-week. Clothing: Leggings or jeans, nice top, and the hair has been altered from its rat’s-nest style to a more presentable one. Thursday is here and the week is almost over. Thursday is the day of anticipation—almost Friday. Clothing: Leggings or jeans, nice top, presentable hair and accessories. Friday is the day we all worship. Push yourselves through your couple of classes, if any, and you have yourself the weekend. Clothing: Leggings or jeans, nice top, presentable hair, jewelry and a smile that makes everyone stare.
(Friday’s clothing may be exchanged for a dress if the weather prevails.) As the “studies” (a.k.a my observations) have found, the average Hofstra student progressively becomes more attractive as the week progresses. Is this concerning or normal? Come on, Hofstra. We are forty minutes from a city dripping with fashion, but yet here on campus the standards just aren’t high enough. You, yes you, with the New Balance sneakers. I’m not sure what to say to you. Should I yell? (This is hypothetical, since I suppose my only means of yelling at you at the current moment would be to type more aggressively.) Should I personally buy you new sneakers? (After looking at my tuition bill I have decided: no.)
New York City isn’t the only place allowed to have a plethora of styles.
What I can do is tell you that sometimes it’s just got to be fashion over comfort. (If weeping has occurred: use page A13 as a tissue.) Although many students follow the average Hofstra fashion week cycle, there are quite a few students that strive to keep our fashion standards afloat. I personally have never worn sweats to class. Does this make me better than the New Balance wearer? I’m joking, of course, since we all do our best in the classroom no matter what our dress, but why not use our clothes as another medium of art? New York City isn’t the only place allowed to have a plethora of styles, cultures and clothing. Hofstra, it’s time for us to create our style. Caution: the contents of this article may, when applied, boast self-esteem, turn single into taken, and make Hofstra a more beautiful campus.
A 13•November 10, 2011
Pumpkin fries with cranberry dipping sauce By Samantha Lim STAFF WRITER
One thing to look forward to at this time of the year is the seasonal produce, pumpkin being one of many. Pumpkin finds its way into pies, muffins, lattes, and a multitude of sweet treats, but it’s a starch that’s often overlooked in savory options. That is, until now. French fries and sweet potato fries grace the menus of eateries everywhere, but have you ever had pumpkin fries? Now you know what to do with those leftover pumpkins from Halloween that escaped the fate of being carved into Jack-O-Lanterns.
Skip the mustard or the ketchup and pair these fries with a tart homemade cranberry sauce. This student-friendly recipe was adapted from Oprah.com. Prepare the cranberry sauce before cooking the fries. That way, you can enjoy the latter fresh out of the fryer. Sauté the cranberries, gelatin, water, sugar, and salt in a deep pan. Turn the heat down low and allow the mixture to simmer for about 20 minutes, stirring every so often. Allow the cranberry sauce to cool before transferring it into a small saucer or bowl. You may peel the pumpkin if you please, but once fried, the peel doesn’t
Pumpkin Fries and Cranberry Sauce Ingredients:
- 1 cup cranberries - 3/4 cup sugar - 1/3 tsp salt d) - 1 pouch unﬂavored gelatin (such as Knox bran - 1 small pumpkin - 1 cup corn starch - Vegetable oil - Cayenne pepper and salt to taste
Photo Courtesy of Samantha Lim Fall in love with this fall treat – pumpkin fries paired with cranberry sauce for dipping.
make much of a difference. Cut open the pumpkin and discard its seeds and stringy flesh. Slice the pumpkin into fries. Empty a cup-full of cornstarch onto a large plate. Toss the cut fries with the cornstarch so that each fry is nicely coated. Turn the burner on medium-high heat. Place a pot on the burner and fill it with enough vegetable oil so the fries will be completely submerged. Test the temperature with a single fry; if it sizzles and darkens quickly, the oil is hot enough. Fry
the pumpkin fries for 3-5 minutes or until they turn a light gold-brown. Line a plate with paper towels. Use a rounded spatula to transfer the fries to the plate. Lightly pat the fries with more paper towels. Sprinkle with salt and cayenne pepper to taste. For the purpose of presentation, roll a piece of cardstock into a cone and tape the sides. Fill it to the brim with pumpkin fries and serve with your prepared cranberry sauce.
Overheard @ Hofstra
Compiled by The Chronicle Staff
In the Student Center: Girl: I woke up three hours later, facedown in my bed, with my boots still on. Outside Estabrook: Guy: So, penny beers tonight? Girl: You are clearly a freshman. In Breslin: Girl: I took archaeology. It’s nothing like Indiana Jones does. I thought it would be.
In Berliner: Guy 1: I mean, I feel like we have a connection but the only problem is she doesn’t like playing video games.
In Enterprise: Guy (walking up stairs): I swear, every time I walk up these they put a new flight of stairs in.
In Class: Girl (to professor): That’s why you’re my favorite professor, because you’re conceited and you know.
Outside Bits & Bites: Guy 1: Well she was unfortunate looking. Guy 2: Yeah, looks like she fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
In Class: Professor: Don’t worry.W One day you’re going to find a man to treat you like the princess that you are.
Overhear something funny? Send it to us! chroniclefeatures@ gmail.com
A 14 November 10, 2011
Does David Stern like being the villain? Back in June, I remember sitting in Social Sports Kitchen, anxiously waiting to see where Charles Jenkins would land in the NBA draft. While diving into a second helping of nachos, I couldn’t help but laugh every time NBA commissioner David Stern stepped up to the podium. The boos rained down on him like punches from Lenny Dykstra upon Jose Canseco (let’s all reflect for a minute and remember that that was a thing). Either way, Stern has made a long list of enemies among basketball fans with this NBA lockout, which, if you’re keeping track at home, is the second of his tenure as commish. With each passing day, the hope dwindles away for the NBA season and Stern seems more and more lethargic to the situation. Despite getting repeated compromise from the Players Union, Stern thinks the owners should get more. Apparently wiping your tuchus with the ten
dollars I pay for a beer at the Garden is not enough. Stern seemingly wants to keep holding back negotiations and not seek a solution to bring some possible regular season play. Rather than extend an olive branch, he is standing by with a samurai sword. The commissioner fires off threats to the players union, holding them accountable for a deal not being done and refusing to give in even when his side gets the greatest benefit. This most recent offer from the owners to the players ended with Stern, clearly up past his bedtime on Saturday night, saying that players can take or leave it. That is a great attitude to have. The man is about as optimistic as a Jets fan before kickoff. Stern’s attitude to the whole situation is just making him the enemy. I state with all respect that he is the worst of the commissioners in the big four sports, and that’s counting Bud Selig and Gary Bettman. How depressing is
that? Two lockouts in your tenure and everyone is sick of it. Look what he’s doing to the players, the fans and the owners. Players have pondered forming their own league a la ‘Baseketball’. As much as
I would love to see the Dallas Felons and Milwaukee Beers battle it out for the Denslow Cup, I don’t want to envision a world where Derrick Rose would be on the same court/field as Joe
Cooper. Fans have been forced to watch their Yahoo! personal homepages in sedation, with the terms “Your (insert team name here) should be playing the Utah Jazz tonight, but that game is cancelled due to lockout”. By the way, to the guy at Yahoo! Sports who thought that was a cool feature, buzz off. I hope you get fired in an e-mail saying “You should be receiving a paycheck but that is cancelled due to termination”. And owners, Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is so desperate for wanting to see a team play, he pondered buying the Los Angeles Dodgers. The Dodgers are in financial disarray. Chavez Ravine may as well be called Athens and Dodger dogs be paid for in Euros it’s so bad. I think I speak for all basketball fans here when I say enough is enough with this lockout. David Stern’s actions as NBA commissioner are horrific. Asking him to
find a solution to these labor contracts is like asking an arsonist to put out a forest fire. If he really cared for this league, he would want to get this done for the little fans he had left. And by the way, Commissioner Stern, if I don’t get to see Charles Jenkins and the Golden State Warriors at Madison Square Garden in February, we’re going have a problem. A NOTE TO ALL ARMCHAIR OBSERVATIONS READERS: NEXT WEEK’S COLUMN WILL DISCUSS THE GROWING TREND OF TEBOWING…SO HERE’S WHAT I’M ASKING. SEND IN YOUR BEST TEBOW POSE TO chroniclesports@ gmail.com!! THE BEST ONES WILL MAKE IT INTO NEXT WEEK’S ISSUE!!
Men’s soccer shocks James Madison to close season By Alex Hyman STAFF WRITER
The Pride wrapped up its season in grand fashion on Saturday when the Dukes of James Madison University visited the Hofstra Soccer Stadium. The Dukes entered the match as one of the nation’s top ranked teams and the Pride knew what it had to do in order to get a win. The score remained at 0-0 into the forty-third minute when Hofstra struck first. Sophomore midfielder Chris Griebsch fired a shot, which was deflected directly at freshman forward Maid Memic who accepted the rebound and netted the games first goal. It was the first of the freshman’s career. “Maid Memic is a class player,” said head coach Richard Nuttall. “It was a beautiful chip to the far post. He’s a natural goal scorer. We expect great things from him next season.” Just over a minute later, the Pride struck again. This time, Memic received the assist, as
he was able to find the head of sophomore defender Tyler Botte, who gave the Pride a 2-0 lead. Botte continued a very impressive end of his second season scoring his fourth goal and filling in brilliantly at center back for the absent sophomore Shaun Foster. “We’ll be getting everybody from our backline back next season,” said Nuttall. “Hopefully we can get everyone back healthy and then focus on consitency and focus. Hopefully we can learn from this year to help us with next year.” The Pride kept the pedal down and added a third goal in the eighty-first minute. Senior forward Brett Carrington, playing in his final collegiate game, scored his seventeenth career goal when junior midfielder Mike Annarumma found him streaking behind the defense. “It was a very impressive win because James Madison is very talented, athletic and powerful,” said Nuttall. “We had players who weren’t playing much all year and I think they were starting to get
into a rhythm after three, four or five games together.” Pride sophomore goalkeeper Roberto Pellegrini recorded his fourth shutout of the season. A win over JMU marked the first time the Pride had beaten a ranked team since the 2008 campaign. “It was the first time we were consistent for the whole game,” said Nuttall. “We really didn’t make any mistakes at the back. We gave them a few chances but overall I thoroughly believed that we deserved to win.” The Pride’s final record stands at 7-10-1 after notching a draw against Penn State and this victory. “It gives you a lot of confidence going into next season,” said Nuttall. “A lot of the times this season, the opposition hasn’t broken us down, it’s been our careless mistakes that has cost us games so this is promising for the future, but we need to be more consistent.”
Cody Heintz/The Chronicle
Sophomore midfielder Chris Griebsch (21) looks to pick a pass.
A 15•November 10, 2011
Meet the Pride men’s and women’s basketball squads By Matt Napolitano STAFF WRITER
STARTERS: Mike Moore (SG, Senior) After sitting out the 2009-10 year due to transfer rules, Moore became a valued member of the Hofstra Pride starting lineup. One of the three captains this year, the shooting guard brings an outstanding three point jumper back to the Mack, and will provide help underneath the boards which this team really needs. Stevie Mejia (PG, Junior) Mejia sat out last year after transferring from the University of Rhode Island. The captain brings speed and a strong transition game to the hardwood. Head Coach Mo Cassara has called him ‘explosive’ and ‘a leader for this team’. Not to mention, Mejia got some hype last season courtesy of former teammate Charles Jenkins. Nathaniel Lester (SF, Senior)
Lester comes back for a redshirt year, after sitting out last season with injury. Look out for Lester on the rebounding end. Though he may not be a scorer, if he is in three point range, he can come through. He is 25% shooting from behind the arc for his career at Hofstra. David Imes (PF, Junior) Imes is synonymous with putback shots, usually cleaning up around the rim for Hofstra last season. Don’t mess with him in the paint. He can pull down the ball and his short and mid range game is strong, shooting 51% on the floor last season. Bryant Crowder (C, Junior) The JuCo transfer fills the void at big man left by the graduation of Greg Washington. Crowder demonstrated his aggressive play and athleticism during Saturday’s exhibition against Queens College. He also has a personal home court advantage. The Harlem native will provide much
needed help beneath the basket. BENCH: Dwan McMillan (Guard, 6-0, 180, Senior) McMillan started 11 games for the Prides in 2010-11, before sitting out the rest of the campaign due to an eye injury. McMillan’s speed and point game should be prevalent this season. Expect him to be coming off the bench and deliver some of the promise we saw early last year. Stephen Nwaukoni (Forward, 6-8, 240, Sophomore) Nwaukoni impressed in his freshman season, playing in 30 games last season off the bench for Hofstra. He’s definitely can come up in the clutch, as we saw last season with a defensive board and two free throws in the OT thriller over James Madison.
a big three pointer in that JMU victory. 32 games off the bench last season, McLendon will be the best to put on the court when Mike Moore needs a rest. Matt Grogan (Guard, 6-5, 195, Junior) The fan favorite. The walk-on, whose 3-ball against William & Mary in the CAA quarterfinal drew a roar from the Lion’s Den on hand in Richmond, returns for Cassara’s crew off the bench. Moussa Kone (Forward, 6-7, 220, Freshman) Kone got the start against Queens College in the exhibition and may become a late season option off the bench at the 4 or the 5. Jordan Allen (Forward, 6-6, 200, Freshman)
Shemiye McLendon (Guard, 6-3, 195, Sophomore)
The Bay Shore native and Long Island Lutheran grad can pull down some boards.
McLendon demonstrated his long range abilities, coming up with
Jereme Good (Forward, 6-6, 210, Freshman)
Good is a product of Cassara’s expanding the recruiting search beyond New York. The Pennsylvania native brings athleticism, a three-sport varsity athlete at his alma mater. TRANSFERS: Jamal Coombs-McDaniel (Forward, 6-7, 210, Junior) Coombs-McDaniel will sit out due to NCAA transfer rules. The former National Prep School Player of the Year played two seasons at Connecticut, helping the Huskies to a national title last season. Taran Buie (Guard, 6-2, 185, Sophomore) Buie transfers over from Penn State after one season with the Nittany Lions. In eleven games off the bench, he proved a vocal presence on the court. In 200910, Buie was the #87 recruit in the nation.
Left: Senior guard Candice Bellocchio (10) leads the Hofstra women’s basketball team’s fast paced offense. File Photo/The Chronicle Right: Sophomore forward Stephen Nwaukoni (24) looks to get by his defender . Cody Heintz/The Chronicle
By Joe Pantorno STARTERS:
Pride’s main threat from beyond the arc, look for Loper to start making more aggressive cuts to the hoop.
Candice Bellochio #10 (Sr./G)
Nicole Capurso #22 (Sr./G)
Bellocchio is entering her fifth season for Hofstra. The epitome of a point guard, Bellocchio is an impressive distributor of the ball who sees the court very well. She has the ability to knock down shots from long range as well as delivering strong drives to the basket. The type of player that constantly plays the game as hard as she can; she is the type of basketball player you want to lead your team.
Capurso will add another deep threat along with Loper to add another scoring threat from threepoint land. Deemed to be the most in shape as she ever has by head coach Krista KilburnSteveskey, Capurso will look to get a lot of playing time while keeping up with the Pride’s fast pace style of play.
Katelyn Loper #31 (So./G) After a sensational freshman campaign where she received eight Colonial Athletic Association (CAA) Rookie of the Week honors, it is safe to say the word is out on Katelyn Loper. As the
Shante Evans #30 (Jr./F) Already having eclipsed the 1,000 point mark in her career, Evans spent the weeks leading into this season competing in the Pan American Games with the United States Basketball Team. Evans will look to improve her already stellar play from last year where she averaged a double-
double with 18.4 points and 11.0 rebounds per contest. Marie Malone #35 (Sr./C) Sidelined for the majority of last season, Malone is back with a vengeance this year as she looks to form a partnership with Evans as duo of solid forwards. Malone also can bring a mid-range aspect to the big players’ game as she has the ability to hit jumpers when given the opportunity. BENCH: Candace Bond #2 (Jr./G)“Bondie” will be a spark plug for this team who will gain significant minutes for her lockdown defense and gritty play. Bond is a player that is always willing to put her body on the line for the team and her firey play will earn her a few starts. Andreana Thomas #5 (Fr./G)The guard of the future, Thomas
was a highly touted prospect coming out of high school in Connecticut. She will gain solid minutes and her playing time is sure to increase as the season progresses. Thomas is quick with a knack to find the open player. If teams overlook her in scouting, she will run all over them. Onyesonam Nolisa #21 (Fr./G-F) Nolisa was an exceptional basketball player in high school in Waterbury, CT, averaging 22 points per game in 2010. She will be versatile enough to play either guard or forward and will look to contribute as a talented pair of fresh legs as the season progresses. Annie Payton #32 (So./G-F) Payton will play like a Nicole Capurso when Capurso is off the floor. With a blend of speed, a sweet shot, and grit under the boards, Payton will be vital
coming off the bench this year. Like Bond, she is bound to receive a few starts this year if she can show her stuff. Anma Onyeuku #40 (So./F) Onyeuku is yet another player that adds versatility to Hofstra’s roster. She will prove to be factor this year under the boards as she is a strong rebounder no matter who matches up with her under the basket. TRANSFERS: Deven Green (Jr./F)- Transferred from Monroe Community College after playing one season at Boston University. Green averaged 12.6 points per game and recorded 13 double-doubles. McKenzie Kudron (So./F-C)Transferred from Vermont where she did not receive much playing time, but listed at 6’4”, Kudron will be a force under the basket next year.
A 16 November 10, 2011
Volleyball loses two straight, out of CAA race By Angelo Brussich STAFF WRITER
The Hofstra University volleyball team dropped two pivotal games over the weekend to Colonial Athletic Association (CAA) opponents Delaware and Towson. The team’s record has sunk to 13-16 overall and 4-8 in conference play. This all but closes the door on Hofstra’s hopes of an appearance in the CAA Championships. “We want to end it on a positive,” said head coach Kristina Hernandez. “We want to get these two wins.” Coming into the weekend, Hofstra found itself only a half game behind Virginia Commonwealth University (VCU) for the sixth and final spot in the CAA playoffs. After a subpar weekend Hofstra took itself out of the running and is stuck in eighth place in the conference, three games out with two to play. Hofstra’s first match was Friday against Delaware, who it defeated earlier this year at home. This game though was in Delaware and Hofstra could not overcome the Blue Hens, losing the match 3-1. It was another strong game by senior right side Taylor Moore, who led the Pride with 13 kills, but it was not enough to help Hofstra to victory. Coming into the last games of her career, along with senior middle blocker Erika Charry who added 12 kills and senior middle blocker Anissa Whitney, it has been the seniors leading the way for the Pride, but Hernandez did not expect anything less.
“That’s the way seniors should be playing,” said Hernandez. “They definitely want to play well and they want to end on a good note.” The first set saw Delaware take the lead early and forced Hofstra to play catch-up the entire set. The Pride cut the lead to 19-18, but the Blue Hens scored six of the last eight points in the match to take the set 25-20. Hofstra hit at a .147 hitting percentage, their highest of the match, but watched the hitting decrease from there. “Our first set we hit well, but the following three sets we had a lot of attack errors” said Hernandez. Set two was a dominant performance by Delaware as they held the Pride to a negative .029 hitting percentage who could not muster much offense. Delaware won the set 25-14. The third set saw Hofstra come away with the victory, overcoming a less than stellar hitting percentage of .053. In another closely contested match would again see the seniors come through when needed most. Whitney and Moore had kills to tie the game at 21 and again it was Moore coming through with a kill to give Hofstra the lead at 24. Hofstra would win the match 25-23. The fourth and final set saw a tie at 18, but again it was attack errors that would be the downfall for the Pride. Delaware went on a 6-0 run and cashing in on all of Hofstra’s errors. “Giving away four points is kind of hard to come back from,” said Hernandez.
She was right as the Pride dropped the set 25-20 and lost the match 3-1. The Prides second game of the weekend found Hofstra facing off against Towson. Hofstra would lose this match 3-0 and dropped out of the CAA top six running. Both teams had a very strong offensive showing in the first set as Hofstra hit at a .324 clip while Towson hit .441. Both teams had only four errors each in the set, keeping the game close all the way to the end. Towson though would score the final three points and come away with the 25-22 victory. In set two, both teams came crashing back down to Earth in terms of hitting percentage as Hofstra hit .000 and Towson hit a little better with a .104. Once again, the two teams tied in attack errors as each had nine in this set. Hofstra just could not create the offensive fire power to come away with a victory and the Tigers won 25-21. “Every set was pretty close we just couldn’t close it out in the end,” said Hernandez. “The last two sets we weren’t really putting the ball away.” The third and final set saw Hofstra jump out to an early lead and maintain control throughout much of the set. But as Hernandez pointed to, the Pride just could not put away the Tigers and let Towson recover from a 20-16 deficit to tie the game at 20. The teams were tied again at 21, but Hofstra watched the lead disappear and Towson won again 25-21.
Cody Heintz/The Chronicle
Freshman outside hitter Kelsie Wills (5) goes up for a kill.
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FRI 11/11 @ gonzaga 4:00 P.M.
@ E wu 1:00 P.M. @ Bingha mton
@ oregon state 10:00 A.M.
Field hockey loses in CAA semis against Northeastern By Joe Pantorno SPORTS EDITOR
After securing the number three seed in the Colonial Athletic Association Championships on the campus of Old Dominion University, the Hofstra University field hockey team advanced to the conference semi-finals after defeating Towson 3-0, but lost to Northeastern 4-2. “We would’ve liked to have made it to the title game against Old Dominion,” said head coach Kathy De Angelis. “But it is what it is.” Hofstra’s defense during the quarterfinals match against Towson was headlined by some brilliant defense by the Pride. Senior goalkeeper Amanda Heyde was called to make only two saves for the entire match. Three first half goals put Towson away early as Hofstra flew out of the gates early. Senior forward Genna Kovar opened the scoring just one minute into the match. The goal was the fifty-sixth of her career, breaking the school’s all-time record held by Janet Walsh who played from 1995-1998. Junior midfielder Micaela Gallagher doubled Hofstra’s lead ten minutes later when she deflected a shot from senior defender Amy-Lee Levey. Defender Codi Nyland, who entered the game with one career goal, finished Hofstra’s scoring on the day with two minutes left in the half off an assist from junior forward Krizia Layne. “We just clicked all over the field and it was a great way to get to the semi-finals and one game away from the NCAA,” said De Angelis. “It was such a fantastic game.” Hofstra outshot Towson 12-5 for the match. “That game was a true testament to how we play and what our level to play is to be at the highest level,” said De Angelis. “It was such an amazing game, I wish we were playing
Northeastern that night.” The second ranked Northeastern squad proved more of a challenge with one of the best goalies in the conference in Lizzie Priest. It turned out to be a battle of the goalies between Priest and Heyde, as both offenses were firing on all cylinders. For the game, Northeastern outshot Hofstra 25-20 with each keeper making 11 saves. Senior midfielder Pam Aldridge scored two goals for the Huskies, one that proved to be the game winner within 38 seconds of each other. Northeastern had a 3-0 lead just ten minutes into the game. “I think it just came down to the two circles,” said De Angelis. “I think Northeastern possessed the ball a lot better than we did. We needed to execute on every opportunity and that’s what Northeastern did.” Senior midfielder Arielle Williams tried to spark a Hofstra comeback, scoring in the fifty-second minute off a penalty corner, but senior forward Carolyn Malloy put things away two minutes later to extend the lead to 4-1. With 13 minutes left, Kovar pulled one back after another impressive run that she has been known for all season, finishing her chance from five yards out to finish the scoring on the day. Hofstra finishes the season at 13-9. Northeastern fell short in the CAA Championship game to top seeded Old Dominion 5-1, but received an at large bid into the NCAA Tournament. “We had a fantastic season and nothing could be taken away from that,” said De Angelis. “It’s disappointing because you have to lose at some point of the season unless you win the national championship…It was such a great ride and a fantastic year and I’m so proud of them.”
A 17•November 10, 2011
Cody Heintz/The Chronicle Junior midfielder Micaela Gallagher (16) fights for possessioin in a game against Maine.
Cody Heintz/The Chronicle Senior forward Genna Kovar (24) tries to rangle a high pass and start the offensive attack.
Sports Women’s soccer bounced from CAA first round
A 18•November 10, 2011
By Joe Pantorno SPORTS EDITOR
Riding a four game winning streak into the Colonial Athletic Association Championships, the Hofstra University women’s soccer was eliminated in the quarterfinals of the tournament, losing 1-0 to Delaware. “Delaware came at us,” said head coach Simon Riddiough. “They deserved to win it unfortunately, I hate to admit it. They came into it with a game plan, they worked extremely hard and they put us on the back foot which is very rare for our team.” Junior forward Ali Miller provided the game winning strike in the seventieth minute from 25 yards out. Her shot just tucked inside the right post from a left footed shot. Delaware controlled play from the first whistle, outshooting Hofstra 11-5 in the first half as Hofstra lost senior midfielder Courtney Breen for the match due to injury. “I think losing Courtney Breen in the first half was even more pinnacle,” said Riddiough. “She’s our rock and she gives us our emotional and mental strength and I think losing her early
effected the Brittany Butts’ and the Brooke Bendernagels’ of the world who like to lean on her.” Things were the same in the second half as Delaware kept up the offensive pressure. Bigger problems arose for Hofstra when junior defender Brooke Bendernagel was issued her second yellow card of the match in the sixty-second minute. Playing down a man, Hofstra could not withstand the Delaware attack any longer. “I guess for Brooke she got too emotionally involved in the game,” said Riddiough. “She got sent off with 25 minutes to go for persistent fouling. She had been fouling throughout the game so I can’t really complain about the red card. I thought it was a soft foul, but overall, when you commit so many fouls, you live on the edge.” After the Miller goal the Hofstra offense managed to create some chances, but none found the back of the net. “The last 20 minutes after they scored we dominated a little,” said Riddiough. “We started putting them under pressure and it was good to see that persistence and perseverance, however it wasn’t good enough.”
Delaware outshot Hofstra 20-12 for the match, keeping Hofstra’s keeper, sophomore Emily Morphitis busy, forcing her to make nine saves on the day. “She’s a tremendous goalkeeper,” said Riddiough. “We can only hope that we can keep her healthy, fit and flying next year because she is going to be big time for us.” Freshman forward Sam Scolarici led the problematic Hofstra offense with five shots. “Sam’s been awesome,” said Riddiough. “She’s been getting more minutes than we earlier anticipated. She’s got some very good tools. She’s explosive, she’s quick, she’s strong and she makes good runs.” Hofstra finished the season at 10-8 on the season as Delaware was eliminated the next round in the semi-finals against William & Mary who went on to win the conference. “I’m missing it already,” said Riddiough. “This year we just started turning a corner. We just started playing good soccer and believing in each other and I would’ve liked to extend the season for the next couple weeks.”
Cody Heintz/The Chronicle
Sophomore defender Brittany Farriella (10) looks to win the ball in a match against Drexel earlier in the season.
DAVID HENRY HWANG LEIGH SILVERMAN
Freshman forward Kerry Cummings (12) tries to find a way through the defense
Cody Heintz/The Chronicle
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A 19•November 10, 2011
Men’s baskebtball downs Queens College in exhibition Joe Pantorno SPORTS EDITOR
Primed and ready to go, the Hofstra University men’s basketball team hosted an exhibition Saturday afternoon, defeating Queens College 71-57. “Obviously it’s early in the season and we have a lot of work to do, but it was good to get out there and get the uniforms on,” said head coach Mo Cassara. “We have a lot of things that we’ll continue to work on, a lot of things that will help us get better but with an exhibition game you want to get out there and knock some of the dust off and I think we did that tonight.” Senior guard Mike Moore led the team with 20 points in his first game as Hofstra’s headline offensive threat. “I think my point guard Stevie[senior guard Stevie Mejia] found me in some good positions,” said Moore. “Overall we weren’t hitting a lot of shots today and we just got to find a way to find open shots.” The game also marked returns for a couple of seniors. Guard Stevie Mejia, who debuts after sitting out last season due to NCAA transfer rules and forward Nathaniel Lester, who missed the year with a leg injury. Mejia recorded ten points, nine assists and five rebounds and Lester added 13 points. “For guys like Stevie and Nat
who haven’t played in a while, I think it was a very positive experience on a lot of levels,” said Cassara. “It felt good to finally get back out there, I was a little nervous in the beginning,” said Lester. “It felt good to step back out there and play with my teammates and get the win.” “It definitely felt good just to play basketball against somebody,” said Mejia. “I could barely sleep last night.” There were also debutants in freshman forward Moussa Kone and junior center Bryant Crowder. Kone received the start and recorded four points in 19 minutes, showing flashes of impressive post play, though it was against an undersized Queens College team. “I think he [Kone] did some great things tonight,” said Cassara. “He’s a freshman, we threw him in there tonight to see how he reacted and I thought he did some good things and committed a couple of good hard fouls which I didn’t mind. He made a couple of nice rebounds, a couple nice plays around the basket and he really provides us with some athleticism and he’s only going to continue to get better.” Crowder wowed the crowd with athletic play, including a one handed alley-oop off an inbound pass from Mejia behind the
Cody Heintz/The Chronicle
Senior guard Stevie Mejia (3) looks to set up the offense Saturday night.
basket. The center registered 12 points in just 17 minutes. “Bryant did some really good things,” said Cassara. “He has an offensive mind, he attacks the basket, he made a couple nice plays and he has some great length and athleticism. If he can really bring that to the defense I think he’s really going to help us win some games.” Hofstra started the game slow though as Queens College managed to work the ball into good shooting areas starting the game on a 5-0 run as the defense looked lackluster. “Defensively we got a lot of work to do,” said Cassara. “We lost our focus a couple different times. Didn’t do a really great job stopping them and when we got ahead and got a lead, we played pretty good defense in stretches.” As Hofstra’s defense improved down and managed to start winning the battle on the boards, the fast break proved to provide a scoring spark, taking control of the game, grabbing the lead midway through the first half and never letting up. “We have some good athletes,” said Cassara. “We have to use some of that athleticism. I think we can get up and down the court and part of it is with these guys just getting comfortable with each other.” “We just need time to get to know each other’s game,” said Mejia. “This is a learning experience but we definitely played hard out there.” Capitalizing on its height advantage, Hofstra took its game under the basket and found a way to make it to the foul line 23 times, but a 69.9 percentage from the charity stripe is something the team needs to work on. “I’m not particularly pleased with many things tonight,” said Cassara. “But overall I’m pleased with the guys fought through a couple difficult situations; a couple stretches where we didn’t play well and fought a way to kind of battle back and found a way to get some easy baskets. I’m pleased with that, I’m pleased with the focus on our team.” Hofstra opens its regular season Friday night against Northeastern Conference champions Long Island University.
Cody Heintz/The Chronicle
Above: Senior guard Mike Moore (23) drives to the hoop against Queens College. Below: Sophomore guard Shemiye McLeondon (15) scans the defense.
Back Cover: Senior guard Mike Moore (23) goes to finish at the hoop agains Queens College.
Photo by Cody Heintz
Sports The Hofstra
chronicle A 20 November 10, 2011
Here we go
Men’s basketball defeats Queens College 71-57 in exhibition Men’s soccer upsets James Madison
Volleyball drops out of playoff race
Field hockey loses in CAA semi-finals
by Alex Hyman
by Angelo Brussich
by Joe Pantorno
The November 10th, 2011 issue of The Hofstra Chronicle, the student newspaper of Hofstra University on Long Island, NY.
Published on Nov 10, 2011
The November 10th, 2011 issue of The Hofstra Chronicle, the student newspaper of Hofstra University on Long Island, NY.