Fall Guide — Seacoast Scene — 08/31/23

august 31 - september 6, 2023

vol 48 No 15

Advertising Staff

Charlene Nichols

seacoast scene advertising sales manager (603) 625-1855, ext.126 Charlene@seacoastscene.net

roxanne macaig

seacoast scene account executive (603) 625-1855 ext. 127 rmacaig@hippopress.com

Editorial Staff Editor Angie Sykeny editor@seacoastscene.net

Editorial Design

Brooke Fraser

Contributors

matt Ingersoll, betty gagne, curt mackail, maya puma, mya blanchard, amy Diaz, Jennifer graham, John Fladd, ray magliozzi, michael Witthaus

Production

Brooke Fraser, Jennifer Gingras

Circulation Manager

Doug Ladd, 625-1855, ext. 135 dladd@hippopress.com

Have an event or a story idea for the seacoast scene? Let us know at: editor@seacoastscene.net

unsolicited submissions are not accepted and will not be returned or acknowledged. unsolicited submissions will be destroyed.

This handsome gentleman was surrendered to the NHSPCA when the owner could no longer properly care for him and all his friends. Yikes is a special case; he is resilient in the face of the fact that he has seen a lot in his young life. He is super smart. Have a job to do? He will want to help with that. Yikes is a Belgian Malinois mix, so the NHSPCA is looking for homes that have Belgian experience and also have experience with extremely shy and fearful dogs. Do you also happen to have a confident outgoing dog that may help Yikes learn that life is not so scary? Yikes aims to please. Best way to become his friend? Snacks! Food is the way to his heart and his mind, and he picks up on things super fast. Interested in Yikes? Do you think you can give this boy a thriving environment to fully come into his own? Stop by

cover story

4 Fall event guide people & places

9 Exeter UFO Festival food

14 Eateries and ideas for foodies pop culture

17 Film and book reviews Nite life

20 Music, comedy and more beach bum fuN

26 Puzzles, horoscopes and crazy news

the NHSPCA Adoption Center (104 Portsmouth Ave., Stratham), open every day except Wednesday, from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m., or email info@nhspca.org.

*Yikes has one medical waiver.

Fall Guide

Plan your season of autumn adventures

Art

• The Seacoast Art Association (130 Water St., Exeter) presents a monthly themed group show. The show for September is “Mystery Kits , ’’ which consists of works by artists who are challenged to create art using only the contents of a mystery kit put together by the gallery. October’s show is “Keeping in Local” and throughout November and December they will be presenting “ Big Gifts Come in Small Packages ” Artists are challenged to create beautiful and affordable work that customers can purchase for no more than $100. The Seacoast Art Association is open Wednesday to Saturday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m., and Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. Visit seacoastartist.org.

• Maundy Mitchell Photography will be presenting an exhibition at the Galletly Gallery (34 Dr. Childs Road, New Hampton) called “Alternative Process Photography” now through Oct. 14. Everyone is welcome to an artist reception on Friday, Sept. 8, from 5:30 to 7 p.m. This exhibit represents members of the New Hampshire Society of Photo -

graphic Artists. Visit newhampton. org/arts/galletly-gallery.

• Gallery 6 at The Children’s Museum of New Hampshire (6 Washington St., Dover) presents “Ocean Awareness with Bow Seat’’ until Sept. 30, featuring art from students 13 to 18 years old, from all around the world. Visit gallery6islamabad.com.

• The New Hampshire Art Association (136 State St., Portsmouth) is presenting a “Biennial One” exhibition that will take place from Thursday, Aug. 31, to Sunday, Oct. 1, open from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. each day. Visit nhartassociation.org.

• Martha Rives will be instructing an Acrylic Painting for Beginners class that will take place on Thursdays, Sept. 7, Sept. 14, Sept. 21 and Sept. 28 as a four-week class, from 6 to 8 p.m. at 2992 Lafayette Road, Unit 3, Portsmouth. This class will teach the principles of art, shape, form and color along with strategies to improve painting. The cost is $150. Visit seacoastartspot.com.

• The Arts Council is presenting “Seen and Heard” from Sept. 8 to Oct. 31 at 1 Washington St., Dover. This exhibit includes work

from Maundy Mitchell’s “Knitted Together” project. There will be an artist reception on Saturday, Oct. 7, from 5 to 9 p.m.

• Isabel from Cheeky Neighborhood is running a Modern Rug Hooking Workshop that will take place on Friday, Oct. 6, from 6 to 8:30 p.m. at 2992 Lafayette Road, Unit 3, Portsmouth. Tickets are $60 per person. Visit seacoastartspot. com.

Classical

• 3S Artspace (319 Vaughan St, Portsmouth) presents pianist Miki Sawada on Wednesday, Oct. 11, at 7 p.m. She is on her Gather Here Tour across all 50 states and explores how classical music relates to America. Tickets are $18 for members and $20 for general admission. Visit 3sarts.org.

• The Strawbery Banke Museum (14 Hancock St, Portsmouth) presents Tuesdays on the Terrace on

Brit Floyd will perform at the Casino Ballroom in Hampton Beach. Courtesy photo.

Sept. 5 from 5:30 to 7 p.m. Sharon Jones will be performing an R&B and jazz concert. Visit strawberybanke.org/music-series.cfm

Concerts

Hampton Casino Ballroom (169 Ocean Blvd., Hampton Beach, casinoballroom.com) presents:

• One Night of Queen on Friday, Sept. 1, at 8 p.m. Tickets start at $19.

• All Time Low on Wednesday, Sept. 13, at 6:30 p.m. Tickets are $39

• Niko Moon on Friday, Sept. 15, at 8 p.m. Tickets are $25

• Blue October on Saturday, Sept. 23, at 8 p.m. Tickets are $35.

• Voyage The Ultimate Journey Tribute Band on Saturday, Oct. 21, at 8 p.m. Tickets start at $19.

• Brit Floyd - The World’s

Greatest Pink Floyd Show on Saturday, Oct. 28, at 8 p.m. Tickets start at $29.

• Rumours of Fleetwood Mac on Sunday, Nov. 5, at 8 p.m. Tickets start at $25.

f airs and festivals

• The Hampton Beach Seafood Festival will be on Friday, Sept. 8, from noon to 9 p.m.; Saturday, Sept. 9, from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m.; and Sunday, Sept. 10, from 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. on Route 1A in Hampton. There will be food, drinks, shopping and entertainment. Tickets are $10 each day. Visit seafoodfestivalnh.com.

• The Granite State Fair (formerly the Rochester Fair) will be held from Thursday, Sept. 14, to Sunday, Sept. 17, and from Thursday, Sept. 21, to Sunday, Sept. 24, at the Rochester Fairgrounds (72

Seacoast Oysterfest at Bernie’s Beach Bar. Courtesy photo.

Granite State Fair in Rochester. Courtesy photo.

rides, a full list of live music, vendors and exhibitors. Pre-sale tickets are available until Sept. 13 and are $10, and starting Sept. 14 they are $12, and children 8 and under are free. Visit granitestatefair.com/ buy-tickets.

• Applecrest Farm (133 Exeter Road, Hampton Falls) presents the Autumn Equinox Festival in its 49th year, on Saturday, Sept. 23, at 11 a.m. This festival will consist of picking your own fruit, a corn maze, live music, tractor rides, food, barnyard animals and more. This is only one of many Applecrest Farm Festivals. Visit applecrest.com/festival-schedule.php to learn more.

• Cisco Brewers Portsmouth (35 Corporate Drive, Portsmouth) presents Country Fest featuring the Seacoast Lumberjack Competition on Sunday, Sept. 24, from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m. There will be live country music, food trucks and inflatable games and it is family-friendly. Tickets are $10 and kids under 12 are free. Visit eventbrite. com/e/country-fest-featuring-seacoast-lumberjack-competition-tickets-696000204347 or Cisco Brewers Portsmouth on Facebook.

• Holiday on the Seacoast Show will take place on Saturday, Nov. 18, from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. and Sunday, Nov. 19, from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. at the Rim Sports Complex (311 Winnacunnet Road, Hampton). There will be artisans, craftsmen and specialty food artists. Tickets are $5

kids under 14 are free. Visit applecrest.com/festival-schedule.php.

f ilm

Greater Portsmouth Recovery Coalition presents a world premiere screening of our American Family , a documentary, on Thursday, Sept. 21, from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. at 319 Vaughan St., Portsmouth. This film demonstrates a family that has hit rock bottom but their family loyalty and values help to save them. Tickets are $15 per person. Visit pinetreeinstitute. org/event/world-premiere-screening-of-our-american-family-a-documentary.

• Fathom Events has several special screenings this fall at Regal Fox Run (45 Gosling Road, Newington). Christine (R, 1983) celebrates its 40th anniversary with screenings on Sunday, Sept. 10, at 4 and 7 p.m and Wednesday, Sept. 13, at 7 p.m. Rain Man (R, 1988) celebrates its 35th anniversary with screenings on Sunday, Sept. 17 at 3 and 7 p.m. and Wednesday, Sept. 20, at 7 p.m. The Exorcist (R, 1973) celebrates its 50th anniversary with screenings on Sunday, Oct. 1, at 4 and 7 p.m. and Wednesday, Oct. 4, at 7 p.m. The House of 1000 Corpses (R, 2003) celebrates its 20th anniversary with screenings on Sunday, Oct. 8, at 4 and 7 p.m. and Wednesday, Oct. 11, at 7 p.m. The Birds (R, 1963) celebrates its 60th anniversary with

screenings on Sunday, Oct. 22, at 1 and 7 p.m and Monday, Oct. 23, at 7 p.m. Scarface (R,1983) celebrates its 40th anniversary with screenings on Sunday, Nov. 12, at 3 and 7 p.m. and Wednesday, Nov. 15, at 7 p.m.

• The Music Hall (28 Chestnut St., Portsmouth, 436-2400, the musichall.com) will host the 24th annual Telluride by the Sea film festival , bringing a collection of six new features, from Friday, Sept. 15, to Sunday, Sept. 17. A patron pass is $230 and offers primary seating, a seat saver, VIP access and more. Weekend passes start at $115 and individual tickets are $22.

• The 21st annual New Hampshire FIlm Festival will take place from Thursday, Oct. 12, to Sunday, Oct. 15. in several venues around Portsmouth. Attendees can enjoy over 100 films, Q&As with cast and crew, panels and workshops, and many parties and events. The festival was recently named an Academy Award Qualifying Festival for the Short Film Awards by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Festival day passes start at $38. Visit nhfilmfestival.com/about-us.

f ood and drink

• The Stone Church Music Club (5 Granite St., Newmarket) will hold its annual Oyster Fest on Sunday, Sept. 17, from noon to 5 p.m. in its outdoor courtyard. Attendees can meet local oyster farmers and sample the oysters. There will

be live music and the event is family-friendly. Visit stonechurchrocks. com.

• Beer for History returns to the American Independence Museum’s Folsom Tavern (164 Water St., Exeter) on Thursdays, Oct. 5, Oct. 19, Nov. 2 and Nov. 16. Each day will have a different schedule, from an escape room to tavern trivia to colonial tavern games. It will be a fun time for the whole family. Each event’s featured brewer will be offering attendees three different types of beer. Visit independencemuseum.org.

• The 3rd annual Seacoast Oysterfest is returning to Bernie’s Beach Bar (73 Ocean Blvd., Hampton) on Sept. 23 at 1 p.m. There will be fresh oysters, live music, craft beer and cocktails. Tickets are $40. Visit seacoastoysterfest.com.

• The 11th Annual Powder Keg Beer and Chili Festival returns on Saturday, Oct. 7, from noon to 4 p.m. to Swasey Parkway, downtown Exeter. There will be a selection of craft beers, spiked seltzers and other canned drinks. Local restaurants, artisans and vendors create unique chili to try. Tickets are $45 for pre-purchase general admission and $55 at the door. VIP admission is $60 in advance and $70 at the door. Chili-only admissions are $10 and $15 at the door. Visit powderkegbeerfest.com.

• Apple Harvest Day returns for

Trish Aponte as Helga ten Dorp, the Dutch, bonkers clairvoyant, in the Players’ Ring Theatre’s production of Deathtrap. Photo by Ed Simeone.

Pianist Miki Sawada will perform at 3S Artspace in Portsmouth. Photo by Chris Jackson.

the 39th year on Saturday, Oct. 7, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. at 550 Central Ave., Dover. This event features more than 300 vendors, food, live entertainment and more. Visit dovernh.org/apple-harvest-day

• NH Brewfest returns on Saturday, Oct. 14, from noon to 4 p.m. at Cisco Brewers (35 Corporate Drive, Portsmouth). This festival includes beer from New England craft breweries, food trucks and live entertainment. Tickets are $60 for general admission and $80 for VIP. Visit nhbrewfest.com/about-us.

Literature

Water Street Bookstore (125 Water St., Exeter) presents:

• A reading, Q&A and signing of UFOhs! Mysteries in the Sky by Deborah Blumenthal who has also written 15 picture books for children, on Saturday, Sept. 2, at 2 p.m.

• A book talk and signing of The Great Transition by Nick Fuller Googins,who has published short stories and essays in multiple newspapers. This event will take place on Sunday, Sept. 10, at 3 p.m.

• Book launch of This Spells Disaster by Tori Anne Martin will take place on Sept. 12 at 7 p.m.

• A book talk and signing Of Time and Turtles by Sy Montgomery and

Matt Patterson. The illustrated book blends science, memoir, philosophy and different cultures together through stories of injured turtles and their rescuers. This event will take place on Oct. 1 at 3 p.m.

The Word Barn (66 Newfields Road, Exeter) presents Daphne Kalotay, Michael Borsnan and Rishi Reddi as part of the Silo Series on Sept. 24 from 4 to 5:30 p.m.

t heater

• The Seacoast Repertory Theatre (125 Bow St., Portsmouth; seacoastrep.org, 433-4472) presents three main stage productions this fall: Bat Boy Sept. 8 through Oct. 29, Passing Strange Sept. 22 through Oct. 21, and Matilda Nov. 10 to Dec. 23. Showtimes are Thursday through Sunday and tickets range from $35 to $60.

• The Players’ Ring Theatre (105 Marcy St., Portsmouth, playersring.org) presents Deathtrap Sept. 8 through Sept. 24.; Outside Mullingar Sept. 29 through Oct. 15; Gay Bride of Frankenstein Oct. 20 through Nov. 5; Granite State Proud Nov. 10 through Nov. 19, and What the Dickens Nov. 25. Shows are from Friday to Sunday and tickets are $28 for general admission.

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“Mystery Kits” exhibit presented by the Seacoast Artist Association in Exeter. Courtesy photo.

e xtraterrestrial extravaganza

Close encounters of the fun kind at Exeter UFO Fest

By Curt Mackail

Have you ever spotted an unidentified flying object? If so, you’re among at least one in 10 Americans who say they’ve seen UFOs according to respective polls from Gallup, National Geographic and ABC News.

And according to recent samplings by Newsweek and YouGov the share of Americans who believe UFO sightings offer proof of alien life amounted to 34 percent last year, up about 15 percent from other longtime survey results. That number may get a boost on the heels of July’s testimony before Congress by three military veterans who swear they can prove extraterrestrials’ visits are real.

The most sensational revelations came from former U.S. Air Force intelligence officer Maj. David Grusch. He claimed the feds operated a secret “multi-de-

cade” reverse engineering program with alien spacecraft recovered through the years. Grusch also said that the government possesses non-human remains from alien crash sites.

The major’s testimony wasn’t confirmed by anyone else and was promptly discounted by scientific and government authorities including the Defense Department. But what is for sure is that qualified military and commercial pilots have reported for decades (going back to the 1940s) what the government prefers to call unidentified anomalous phenomena — UAPs for short.

the government’s Project BLUe Book studied 15 years of Ufo reports

In 1952 the U.S. Air Force launched a hush-hush study of the many pilot reports of objects aloft that seemed to defy the laws of physics, code-named Project BLUE BOOK. More than 12,000

first-person accounts were collected, analyzed and archived.

The top-secret BLUE BOOK investigations continued until scrapped after the University of Colorado UFO Project, a committee funded by the United States Air Force from 1966 to 1968, issued its report on BLUE BOOK.

Under the direction of physicist Edward Condon, the so-called Condon Report concluded that no UFO sightings illustrated technology or concepts beyond the range of scientific knowledge. And the Condon committee said there’s zero evidence that the mass of strange atmospheric appearances reported over decades is connected to extraterrestrial vehicles.

Yet, despite contemporary government denials of hard evidence and decades of studies that are inconclusive, many of us remain confident that the little green men from outer space explanation holds water. An Ipsos poll, released in July prior to the congressional testimony of the

three military whistleblowers, found 42 percent of Americans believe that UFOs are real. A 2021 report by Pew Research found about half of our citizens believe UFO reports are evidence of extraterrestrial life. And a national Gallup poll in 2019 found 68 percent of respondents thought the government knows “more about UFOs than it is telling us.”

Annual exeter Ufo festival features ufologist lectures and fun in the streets

The Exeter UFO Festival — Saturday, Sept. 2, and Sunday, Sept. 3, in the center of town — presents guest speakers who promise explanations of intriguing UFO topics and more. Bigfoot and the aliens, quantum ETs, trace evidence of extraterrestrials, megalithic architecture of the Sacred Valley of Peru, and three ways the world could end are all on the presenters’ agendas along with other topics that are out of this world.

STORAGE

Members of the sponsoring Kiwanis club will cook up some street food with a little help from their extraterrestrial friends. Photo courtesy of Exeter UFO Festival.

Many UFO Festival attendees turnout bedecked for

The annual Exeter UFO Festival, organized by the Exeter Area Kiwanis club, returns Saturday, September 2, and Sunday, September 3. Photo

WICKED TOASTY! TOASTED MARSHMALLOW LIQUEUR WICKED

“The Incident at Exeter is one of the most well-documented UFO sightings in history. It has been investigated by numerous experts, and there is still no consensus on what the object was,” Fuller reportedly said.

festival speakers talk weird

Some explanations of weird phenomena will come from presenters on Saturday and Sunday in the historic Exeter Town Hall, 10 Front St. Tickets for the talks are $35, available at the door, good for two days’ admission.

Speakers include international ufologist, investigative writer, author and lecturer Peter Robbins. In addition to emceeing the speaker series, Robbins will screen his new film, James Forrestal: His Extraordinary Life and Suspicious Death. (Forrestal was presidentially appointed in 1947 as the first secretary of the newly created Department of Defense.)

Skeptic or not, the Exeter UFO Festival makes for a fun way to spend a day or the weekend. Not only can you hear from flying saucer conspiracy theorists and investigators; you’ll also join thousands of others who come to town for a load of family-style merrymaking. The festival is “a celebration of all things UFO-related, featuring a variety of speakers, panels, children’s activities and events, and downtown business promotions,” says the Exeter Area Kiwanis club. The club runs the festival as its yearly fundraiser, with proceeds going to benefit local charitable causes.

t he e xeter Incident

The festival, now in its 11th incarnation, was spurred by the notorious Incident at Exeter, Sept. 3, 1965. The incident flared around 2 a.m. when teenager Norman Muscarello rushed into the Exeter police station saying he’d just seen a hovering bright red UFO behind a barn in nearby Kensington. Two officers sped to the site, and they reported from the scene that they also saw a levitating object.

The story broke in the national mass media. A frenzy of UFO speculation overtook the Seacoast. Additional eyewitnesses came forward, heightening public interest.

The Incident at Exeter UFO sighting is one of the most publicized in modern time, according to author John G. Fuller. Fuller documented the event in the book Incident at Exeter.

Among the 10 or so other speakers is Ralph Blumenthal, award-winning reporter for The New York Times from 1964 to 2009. Blumenthal is now an author, lecturer at Baruch College and summer journalism instructor at Phillips Exeter Academy. Blumenthal published The Believer in 2021, a book that documents the chilling true story of an eminent Harvard psychiatrist who risked his career to investigate human encounters with aliens. Blumenthal and spouse Deborah are presently working on a UFO-themed children’s book.

fun in the streets

Many Exeter shops and restaurants offer special promotions and merchandise for attendees. In the past as many as 5,000 folks have turned out for the fest. They’re a colorful bunch, many dressed in alien garb with extraterrestrial faces.

Activities for kids include crafts, face painting, games and the popular UFO Crash Site play area. Kiwanians will cook up fair-style food in streetside tents. And Exeter Police will sell new, collectible alien-themed patches on Saturday beginning at 8 a.m. at the Town Hall. Proceeds benefit the department’s comfort dog program that pairs support dogs with veterans and first responders.

Narrated trolley tours to the Kensington site where the incident was reported board at the Town Hall, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m., both days. Trolley tickets are $5. The official UFO Festival souvenir shop also operates in front of the Town Hall, with newly created artwork for this year’s festivities, logo-ed apparel and other collectibles.

For information visit exeterufofestival.org.

The Exeter police department created a new collectible patch for this year’s UFO festival. Proceeds from sale of the patch benefit the department’s companion dog program for first responders and veterans. Photo courtesy of Exeter Police Department.

Where lobster rolls meet holes-in-one

Tasty eats and virtual tees at 12 Ocean Grill

By Maya Puma

12 Ocean Grill is open for its sixth year in Seabrook, where they sell seafood, burgers, steak, pizza and lobster to locals and tourists traveling the coast.

“A fan favorite is the lobster roll,” owner Michael Conoley said. “The seafood chowder is amazing. I have people from California calling me to have it shipped out to them. Our steak tips, everyone raves about. Our flatbread pizza is a big seller, and during football season we have meatball sliders, we have lobster sliders, we have wings; we move a lot of food here.”

The grill’s layout offers customers a variety of dining experiences. There is a dining room that seats 50 to 60 people and a lounge area with high top that sits 25, an additional bar area, two patios that are dog-friendly, and 57 TVs that display every game during football season.

But what really sets 12 Ocean Grill apart is its virtual golf rooms. The virtual golf has been a big hit for the Grill, so much so that they are expanding by adding a third room in October.

“It’s like a simulator that you can play, like you’re playing outside but you’re hitting a ball into a screen,” Conoley said. “There’s 18 to 20 courses to choose from, or you can just come in and use the driving range and hit balls just to practice. … It’s just a good way to keep your swing going during the winter.”

The virtual golf is open daily from 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. and costs $40 an hour Monday through Thursday and $50 an hour Friday through Sunday. Customers can schedule tee times online. The Grill, at 12 Ocean Blvd., is open seven days a week and sells food from 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. and the bar lounge area is open until midnight. Conoley said the location of the Grill makes it a popular spot for both locals and tourists.

“The best thing about being on the Seacoast is the mix of people,” he said. “We got people from California, from Florida. They come to the beaches and are taking a ride up the coast of Maine and somehow they always find us.”

“The locals are just amazing,” Conoley continued. “They’re here all the time. They love the food, and they love the atmosphere.”

Visit 12oceangrill.com or call 760-2182.

Courtesy photo.

Courtesy photo.

Have you ever been on the radio?

“ Yes. I’ve done commercial recordings for the daycare I work at, Girls Inc of the Berkshires. I think I sound like a little kid on the radio.”

— ChaMPagNe of Pittsfield, Mass. What vegetable do you eat the most of?

“ I eat salad every day so I’d have to say lettuce. I don’t mind a mix of greens, but romaine is my favorite.”

— lori N da of Chaz Y, New York

Would you rather go on a whale watch or a deep sea fishing trip?

“ A whale watch. I find whales fascinating. Whales are smart. I really think they know they’re being watched, and they show off.”

— e lYssa of Pittsfield, Mass

If you could choose any profession, what would it be?

“I always wanted to be a writer. I would like to write short stories, and I have a few ideas for fiction novels. I’m more of a reader, though.”

— toM of ChazY, New York

Who is your favorite Food Network star?

“ Gordon Ramsey from Hell’s Kitchen. He’s entertaining because he shows different emotions. Plus he puts a cool spin on his recipes.”

— ishMael of st. Croix, U.s. VirgiN islaNds

Compiled by Betty Gagne at Hampton Beach.

focus on fermentation

Chef Sarasin’s new cookbook features fun flavors

By Mya Blanchard mblanchard@hippopress.com

According to local chef Keith Sarasin, humanity wouldn’t be where it is today if it weren’t for fermentation.

In his latest cookbook, Mastering Fermentation, which will be released on Tuesday, Sept. 26, Sarasin aims to show readers the beauty of fermentation while walking them through the process.

“This was a topic the publisher approached me with … and I asked them to focus on certain techniques,” Sarasin said. “I think if we said to anyone off the street [to] name a fermented dish, people might say kimchi or sauerkraut, but I wanted to move beyond just those things and really talk about why fermentation is such a backbone of culture and food.”

Sarasin says his passion for cooking comes from his mom. Growing up in Nashua with just his mother, he wanted to find ways that he could help. He started washing dishes at various restaurants and establishments, working his way up to an executive chef position. He also started working with local farms and in 2012 established the Farmers Dinner, which hosts dinners on various farms all throughout the region. Over time, Sarasin developed a passion for Indian food and culture, an area he now specializes in.

“I was a really picky eater when I was coming up working in kitchens and I think I had a lot of misconceptions about Indian cuisine like many people might,” he said. “One day I walked into a spice shop in Nashua called Food & Fashion of India and there was this lovely little lady in the back … and she kind of took me under her wing. After a lot of coaxing she helped me understand that there was so much more to Indian food than naan and chicken tikka masala. She really gave me my passion for the cuisine and helped me understand it, and subsequently she ended up becoming like a mother to me.”

For the past 16 years Sarasin has dedicated his studies to the cuisine and culture of the Indian subcontinent. He runs a pop-

up series called Aatma — the name translates to “soul” — working with farms to bring this food to a new audience.

In Mastering Fermentation Sarasin, whose previous books include Meat: The Ultimate Cookbook and Wild Game Cooking, continues to expose people to new things. He feels there is a lot of confusion surrounding fermentation, a process he says has been used since 6000 BC to make alcohol and preserve food.

“I think a lot of time people think if you leave food out it spoils. I think we’re all taught that. But leaving food out can also lead to fermentation, which is so beautiful,” he said. “Fermentation involves really allowing naturally present or added microorganisms like bacteria, yeast, fungi and those enzymes to work their magic in the absence of oxygen. This leads to the killing of any pathogenic bacteria and creates an environment where beneficial bacteria can thrive.”

There are three types of fermentation to produce fermented foods at home, according to Sarasin: lactic acid fermentation to make things like pickles, yogurt and sourdough; alcohol fermentation to make beer and other alcoholic beverages; and acetic fermentation to produce vinegar and kombucha, among other things. In his book he gives a recipe for yogurt and whey fermented berries.

“I think people will realize this is a book to help you safely understand how to leave food out and turn it into a beautiful, fermented food,” Sarasin said. “Another

thing I think people are going to realize very quickly and be surprised with is the amount of food that you can ferment to create wonderful healthy flavors really quickly.”

Lacto-Fermented Carrots

New book

Mastering Fermentation by Keith Sarasin (208 pages, Cider Hill Press) will be released Tuesday, Sept. 26.

From Keith Sarasin. Serving size: Makes about 1 quart of lacto-fermented carrots (4-6 servings) Active time: 20 minutes Total time: 3-4 weeks

Traditional methods of preserving food and improving its nutritional content include lacto-fermentation. It entails using helpful bacteria called lactobacilli to transform the food’s carbohydrates into lactic acid. The food is preserved during this process, and the environment is made hostile to dangerous microorganisms. In addition to improving the food’s vitamin and enzyme content, lacto-fermentation also makes it more nutrient-dense and digestible.

Vegetables, dairy products and grains are among the foods that are frequently lacto-fermented. Foods that have undergone lacto-fermentation include sourdough bread, pickles, kimchi and sauerkraut.

Carrots that have been lacto-fermented are ... a delicious complement to salads, sandwiches and other foods and have a somewhat sour, crunchy texture. The following is a straightforward recipe for lacto-fermented carrots.

Ingredients

4 cups grated carrots

2 Tablespoons fine sea salt

1 quart-sized jar with a tight-fitting lid

Directions:

In a large bowl, mix the grated carrots with the salt. Using your hands, massage the salt into the carrots for about 5 minutes, until the carrots start to release their liquid.

Transfer the carrots to the jar and press them down firmly. The liquid should cover the carrots. If necessary, you can add a little water to cover the carrots.

Close the lid tightly and place the jar in a cool, dark place for 3-4 weeks. Check the jar every few days to make sure the carrots are fermenting properly and to release any excess gas.

After 3-4 weeks, the lacto-fermented carrots should be ready. They will have a slightly sour, crunchy texture and a slightly cloudy appearance. If the carrots are not sour enough, you can leave them to ferment for a few more weeks.

farmers markets

• Dover Farmers Market is Wednesdays, from 2:30 to 6 p.m., at Guppey Park (110 Portland Ave., Dover), through Oct. 4. Visit seacoasteatlocal.org.

• Durham Farmers Market is Mondays, from 2:30 to 6 p.m., at Durham’s downtown mini park (66 Main St.), through Oct. 2. Visit seacoasteatlocal.org.

• Exeter Farmers Market is Thursdays, from 2:30 to 6 p.m., at Swasey Parkway in downtown Exeter, through Oct. 26. Visit seacoasteatlocal.org.

• Hampton Falls Farmers Market is Wednesdays, from 2 to 6 p.m., at the Hampton Falls Common (1 Lincoln Ave.), through October. Visit hamptonfallsmarketinfo.weebly.com.

• Portsmouth Farmers Market is Saturdays, from 8 a.m. to noon, in the upper parking lot of the Portsmouth Municipal Complex (1 Junkins Ave., Portsmouth), through Nov. 4. Visit seacoasteatlocal.org.

• Salem Farmers Market is Sundays, from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., at The Mall at Rockingham Park (77 Rockingham Park Blvd., Salem) between Dick’s Sporting Goods and the Cinemark movie theater. Visit salemnhfarmersmarket.org.

Keith Sarasin, author of Mastering Fermentation. Courtesy photo.

Portsmouth Farmer’s Market. Photo courtesy of seacoasteatlocal.org

OUT FOR A BITE

at roots VegaN Cafe & jUiCe bar

Taking over ownership of Roots Vegan Cafe & Juice Bar (6 Third St., Dover, 7407000, rootsdover.com) late last year, Betsy Samber of Dover has continued to build on the years-long success of original founder and city native Kaley Fellows, offering a fun and accessible menu of wholly plant-based options from smoothies, bowls and fresh-pressed juices to sandwiches, grab-and-go items and more. It was September 2022 when Samber said she came across an Instagram story from Fellows announcing her sale of the business. “I frequented Roots and I had kind of always dreamed of owning a vegan cafe, but never considered it seriously,” she said. “Then I saw this post, and it just kind of felt like the timing aligned perfectly. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity, so I reached out and it all kind of happened really fast from there.” Samber described the last nine months or so since reopening Roots following the sale as an evolution of sorts. “I didn’t want to change it too much, because there were a lot of menu items that people really loved,” she said. “We kept some menu items … and adjusted the recipes a little or altered them slightly, and then we’ve added a ton of things.” The new iteration of Roots, for example, now features an extended offering of brunch items, in addition to weekly lunch specials and a grab-and-go cooler full of fresh salads, bowls, wraps and parfaits. The Scene recently caught up with Samber to talk about how her first year as the cafe’s new owner has been going, in addition to some of her must-try recommended items when you visit.

How long has Roots Vegan Cafe & Juice Bar been around?

[Fellows] opened it, I think, in the winter of 2016, maybe January or February. … It was probably about a two-week process from me seeing Roots for sale [to] actually purchasing it; then it took a little over a month to finish up some renovations before we were ready to reopen, which we did the first weekend in November of last year.

What makes Roots Vegan Cafe & Juice Bar unique?

We’re almost an entirely scratch-made kitchen. We don’t use any processed meat alternatives — we make everything from scratch, so we even make things like vegan cream cheese and mushroom bacon, and all of our sauces are scratch-made. …

We even make our own peanut butter and cashew milk that we use in our smoothies. … One of the other unique things is that I’ve kind of just developed these recipes by thinking about foods and concepts that I just personally get really excited about. And so there’s been a lot of thought and intention and creativity behind all of the different ingredients and components of our whole menu.

What’s something everyone should try?

It’s absolutely the Sunny. It is our most popular brunch item and just a classic breakfast sandwich. … It’s a house-made black bean sausage, a house-made chickpea egg, and then vegan cheese and our secret “sunny” sauce, and most people will also add a hash brown. … Whether you’re vegan or not, everyone loves it.

What’s your favorite thing on your menu?

That’s a really hard question. It kind of changes day to day. … I feel like my favorite smoothie right now is the Sweet Green. … That has bananas, strawberries, dates, coconut, vanilla, spinach, kale and cashew milk, and then I always add almond butter to it. … With the food items, my favorite right now is probably the A-Team, which is our version of [an] avocado toast, and I really like to add our garlic and herb cream cheese and our house pickled onions to it. It’s really good.

What is an essential skill to running a restaurant?

I think that being able to view the restaurant from all angles, [and] putting yourself in the shoes of your employees, your patrons and just the community in general is really, really important. I think that it just gives

you a perspective that goes deeper than just growing the restaurant as a business, because I think that can only get you so far.

What celebrity would you like to see eating at Roots Vegan Cafe & Juice Bar?

The people that popped into my head are a couple — Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard. They are both actors [but] … they seem like normal people that would be fun to have around if they lived on the Seacoast.

What is your favorite thing about being on the Seacoast?

There’s a lot to love about the Seacoast, but what has probably become my favorite thing has been the community. … People just really care about each other and show up for each other here, and it’s just a really amazing thing to be a part of.

Photos courtesy of Roots Vegan Cafe & Juice Bar in Dover.

Home ofthe

Weekly Spec i a l s

SUNDAY

Grilled Twin Pork Chops - $11.99

Served with Mashed Potatoes & Veg

MONDAY

Burger Night - $9

Hamburger or Cheeseburger includes lettuce & tomato, additional toppings extra

TUESDAY

Taco Tuesday & Ladies Night

$3 Tacos All Day - 8pm-Close 1/2 Price Drinks for the Gals

WEDNESDAY

Spaghetti & Meatballs - $10.99

Served with Garlic Bread

THURSDAY Wing Night$11.99

For a Dozen Wings

FRIDAY

Fish n Chips - $15.99

12oz Prime Rib - $26.99

SATURDAY

12oz Prime Rib - $26.99

Roasted Half Chicken - $15.99 with mashed potatoes & vegetable *Not available 5-8pm

Tom Lake , by Ann Patchett (Harper, 309 pages)

The celebrated novelist Ann Patchett says that Thornton Wilder’s Our Town has been a “comfort, guide and inspiration” throughout her life, and that in her new novel, Tom Lake , she’s trying to draw attention to the play and to all of Wilder’s work.

In doing so she’s drawing attention to New Hampshire, since the Pulitzer Prize-winning play is set in a fictional town in the Granite State. And for someone who grew up in the South, Patchett has a surprisingly good grasp of New England, where parts of this novel take place.

At one point the narrator is asked to swim as part of a movie audition. “Right away I wondered how cold the water was because that’s the first thing a person from New Hampshire thinks about when someone starts talking about swimming,” she says. New Hampshire is omnipresent in Tom Lake , which toggles between the decades-old memories of the narrator, Lara Kenison, and her life in the early days of Covid-19, as she shelters with her husband and adult daughters on the family’s farm in northern Michigan.

As a teenager, Lara — then Laura — was cast as Emily in a community theater production of Our Town ; she aced her audition because every other aspiring Emily was trying too hard, because being in a production of Our Town is apparently like the Holy Grail for thespians in this state.

“Citizens of New Hampshire could not get enough of Our Town ,” Lara says. “We felt about the play the way other Americans felt about the Constitution or the ‘Star-Spangled Banner.’ It spoke to us, made us feel special and seen.”

The audition was eye-opening for Lara, who watched as adults desperate for a role bumbled their way through auditions. (“Many of the Georges … read their lines as if they were trying out for Peter Pan. The older they were, the more they leapt in a scene that did not call for leaping.”)

By the time her name was called, Laura, who had never been a “theater girl,” had decided to drop the “u” in her name for a spelling she thought more worldly.

Lara’s acting career was brief but dazzling and included another stint as Emily at a summer stock production of Our Town at the titular Tom Lake in Michigan , where she was paired with a soon-to-be-famous actor named Peter Duke. The two had a brief love affair,

after which they went down markedly different paths — just how different their paths were is not revealed until the story’s end.

Even after he was no longer physically present in Lara’s life, Duke played a starring role in Lara’s family life. Her husband knew just enough about the story to tell their daughters that their mother once dated the famous man they’d just seen in a movie, which set off an emotional explosion in the house. From there Duke grew larger in the girls’ imaginations, to the point where one of them became convinced, at age 14, that Duke was her father. “Thanks to his ubiquitous presence in the world, the man I’d spent a summer with took up residence in our home, and still I thought of him remarkably little,” Lara reflects.

All that changes in the spring of 2020, when the adult daughters — Emily, Maisie and Nell — come home for Covid and their mother finally relents and starts telling the story of her acting career, tantalizing details revealed in short installments.

The daughters learn how that first unplanned audition came about and how, a couple of years later, Lara played Emily again at a University of New Hampshire production. (“In any given year more girls who had once played Emily attended the University of New Hampshire than any other university in the country…,” Patchett writes.)

Through the stories, the girls follow their mother to L.A. for a screen test at the behest of a director who’d been at the UNH performance. They hear about her two seasons of “unremarkable” television and her Red Lobster commercial.

And ultimately they arrive at Tom Lake, where young Lara fell for a man who would one day have Tom Cruise-level fame while she slipped into domestic obscurity.

“You should have been famous. I think that’s what kills me,” Nell says to her mother at one point, to which Lara, reclining in grass and sunlight with her smart, accomplished daughters, says, “Look at this! Look at the three of you. You think my life would have been better spent making commercials for lobster rolls?”

But the stories that Lara reluctantly tells her family, while true, are incomplete.

“Secrets are at times a necessary tool

Literature

Author events

• DEBORAH and RALPH BLUMEN THAL will discuss their illustrated book UFOhs!: Mysteries in the Sky at Water Street Bookstore (125 Water St., Exeter, 7789731, water streetbooks. com) on Sat urday, Sept. 2, at 2 p.m., during the 2023 Exeter UFO Festival.

• NICK FULLER GOOGINS will discuss his novel The Great Transition at Water Street Bookstore (125 Water St., Exeter, 778-9731, waterstreetbooks. com) on Sunday, Sept. 10, at 3 p.m.

• CHUCK

PALAHNIUK will talk about his book Not Forever, But For Now, moderated by NHPR host Rick Ganley, in a Writers on a New England Stage event at The Music Hall in Ports mouth (28 Chestnut St., Portsmouth, 4362400, themusichall. org) on Tuesday, Sept. 12, at 7 p.m. Tickets cost $18; for each one or two tickets sold, the purchase of a book voucher ($30 hardcover) is required. Vouchers can be redeemed at the event for signed copies.

• TORI ANNE MARTIN launches her new romcom

for peace,” she says at one point. While her girls may not hear the whole story, the readers will.

Patchett dwells in that rarefied world of publishing in which everything she writes sells, and sells well, whether fiction or essay. (It’s also the level at which Meryl Streep voices the audio book.)

Though Patchett has been married twice, she famously made the decision not to have children in order to concentrate on writing, believing that she wouldn’t have enough energy to put into both. A lot of energy went into Tom Lake ; it is a warm and deeply thoughtful novel that exhibits Patchett’s copious talents in the highbrow genre called literary fiction.

B+ —Jennifer Graham

This Spells Disaster at Water Street Bookstore (125 Water St., Exeter, 778-9731, waterstreetbooks.com) on Tuesday, Sept. 12, at 7 p.m.

• CLIF TRAVERS will discuss his short story collection

The Stones of Riverton: Stories from a Cemetery at Water Street Bookstore (125 Water St., Exeter, 7789731, waterstreetbooks.com) on Wednesday, Sept. 20, at 7 p.m.

• JEN ELLIS

will discuss her book

Bernie’s Mitten Maker at Water Street Bookstore (125 Water St., Exeter, 7789731, waterstreetbooks.com) on Wednesday, Sept. 27, at 7 p.m.

• KIM COLEMAN FOOTE will discuss her new book Coleman Hill at Water Street Bookstore (125 Water St., Exeter, 778-9731, waterstreetbooks.com) on Wednesday, Sept. 20, at 7 p.m.

• SY MONTGOMERY and MATT PATTERSON will discuss and sign copies of their illustrated book Of Time and Turtles on Sunday, Oct. 1, at 3 p.m. at Water Street Bookstore (125 Water St., Exeter, 7789731, waterstreetbooks.com).

• REBEKAH WEATHERSPOON will participate in a Q&A and book signing for her new romance novel Her Good Side on Wednesday, Oct. 11, at 7 p.m. at Water Street Bookstore (125 Water St., Exeter, 778-9731, waterstreetbooks. com).

• EMILY HABECK will talk about her new novel Shark Heart on Sunday, Oct. 15, at 3 p.m. at Water Street Bookstore (125 Water St., Exeter, 7789731, waterstreetbooks.com).

Writer events and opportunities

• TIME TO WRITE writing workshop is held on the first Monday of every month from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m. at The Word Barn (66 Newfields Road, Exeter; thewordbarn.com). Writers of all genres are welcome; registration is required and space is limited.

• UNDER THE MADNESS Magazine designed and managed by an editorial board of New Hampshire teens under the mentorship of New Hampshire State Poet Laureate Alexandria Peary. features creative writing by teens ages 13 to 19 from all over the world, including poetry and short fiction and creative nonfiction. Published monthly. Submissions must be written in or translated into English and must be previously unpublished. Visit underthemadnessmagazine.com for full submission guidelines.

blue beetle (Pg-13)

a recent college grad accidentally forms a symbiotic relationship with superpower-bestowing alien tech in blue beetle, a dC Comics movie that isn’t, story-wise at least, necessarily a piece of any particular dC franchise but probably will get absorbed in the new dCU if it does ok, box-office-ally speaking.

I mention this because if you didn’t watch The Flash or can’t remember the whole deal with Black Adam, that’s fine, none of that business is part of this movie.

Jaime Reyes (Xolo Maridueña, bringing his floppy-haired goofballness from Cobra Kai) is a recent college graduate who gets several bites into his celebratory taco homecoming dinner before his sister Milagro (Belissa Escobedo) lays out an assortment of the family’s difficulties: they’ve lost the family business (an auto body shop), dad Alberto (Damian Alcazar) has had a heart attack and the family house — where mom Rocio (Elpidia Carrillo), Nana (Adriana Barraza) and Uncle Rudy (George Lopez) also live — is being sold out from under them. Some of this misfortune seems to be due to the gentrification spearheaded by the Kords, a wealthy family in Palmera City (kind of a Miami-ish/ Los Angeles-y city of gleaming futuristic buildings and neighborhoods of Mexican Americans who are being shoved around by banks and developers).

As it turns out, pricing people out of their communities is only one of many crummy things Victoria Kord (Susan Sarandon) is up to. She’s building a militarized force of augmented humans with a bit of tech that can snap in to soldiers’ spines and gear them up with weaponry and armor. She’s also digging up alien tech, the Scarab, a blue-beetle-y-looking device that can bond with humans, to

Art Events

• ART ’ROUND TOWN

GALLERY WALK The Portsmouth downtown area hosts the Art ’Round Town gallery walk on the first Friday of every month from 5 to 8 p.m. (14 Market Square).

Explore the art scene in this creative historical community by visiting different art galleries downtown. Visit artroundtown.org.

Exhibits

• “OBSERVATIONS: A PHOTOGRAPHY EXHIBITION” is showcasing the work of the photographers Ron St. Jean, Manuel Ricardo Perez and Guy Freeman

make those devices even more powerful. Her niece, Jenny Kord (Bruna Marquezine), disagrees with this direction of the company and wants the family business to focus less on weaponry, like her father wanted before he disappeared. When she spots the Scarab in Kord labs, she hides it in a takeout box and tries to rush it out of the building. On the way, she runs in to Jaime, who came looking for her after she offered to get him a job (to replace the house-cleaning job he lost by standing up for Jenny to her aunt Victoria). She gives him the box and tells him to rush out. At the urging of his curious family, he opens the box. Several members of the family handle the blue beetle but it’s Jaime that the Scarab chooses to bond with.

That bonding leads to Jaime being covered in armor, shot into space, accidentally slicing a bus in half and slamming back down to Earth, creating a second hole in the roof of the family house.

Before Jaime gets to the “great power, great responsibility” portion of superhero-power-acquirement, Victoria and

in the Jim Reagan Gallery, at the Art Center (1 Washington St., Suite 1177, in Dover; theartcenterdover. com). The center is open Monday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.; Saturday from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m., and by appointment.

• “OSHIBANA — THE BOTANICAL COLLECTION The Art Center (Suite 1177, 1 Washington St. in Dover; theartcenterdover. com) features the exhibit “Oshibana — The Botanical Collection” featuring the artwork of Roberta Garrison in the Jim Reagan Gallery through Aug. 31. Oshibana is an art form originating in 16th-century Japan involv-

a bunch of henchmen — led by Scarab-bonding-hopeful Carapax (Raoul Max Trujillo) — show up at the family home to attempt to get the Scarab back.

Jaime’s battles are, sure, against racism — he’s told that delivery people use the back when he shows up at Kord headquarters for a job interview, Victoria rather snootily tells him to “ándale” when she fires him and refers to her head scientist as “Dr. Sanchez” (Harvey Guillen) despite his regular reminders that that’s not his name. But the battle Jaime fights is largely one to protect his family — who in turn aid him when he has to face off against Victoria, who has no problem killing him to get the Scarab back. The movie maybe has some wider “the community” ideas but those never really get fleshed out. Nor exactly do the personalities of his family — beyond Rudy’s role as comic relief and Nana’s surprise experience with anti-imperialist revolution. Jaime’s sister Milagro feels like she should be a bigger character than she is; she’s sort of positioned as his closest confidant within the family but the movie’s

ing “arranging pressed flowers and botanical elements into stunning works of art,” the release said. Garrison’s work focuses on the beauty of local birds.

• “BIENNIAL ONE” will be on display at the New Hampshire Art Association’s Robert Lincoln Levy Gallery (136 State St., Portsmouth) from Aug. 31 through Oct. 1. The exhibit invites artists to showcase their best work that takes creative risks and explores abstract expression, contemporary environmental and social justice issues and new media, with no specific theme. The gallery is open Tuesday through Thursday from 11 a.m. to 5 p.m., Fri-

use of her just sort of peters out.

There are other elements of Blue Beetle that just feel messy — half finished or thrown in without a lot of thought.

Jenny’s whole back story — her missing father who was himself a sort of secret-identity superhero — and her relationship with Jaime feels like a bunch of tasks (love interest, sequel setup, narrative shortcut to getting superhero tech to regular people) just shoved into a character who doesn’t really have a lot going on separate from Jaime’s storyline. Something about Sarandon’s portrayal of the villain feels not quite there — like the movie couldn’t decide if she was a cackling fairy tale witch or a more banal hyper-capitalist. The actress herself seems confused and I found a lot of her performance to just feel flat.

Also, it feels like an already overused dig to say that a movie’s dialogue sounds like it was written by A.I. — but wow did this movie’s dialogue feel like what would happen if you smooshed every superhero cliché and dialogue tic into a Blue Beetle mold. The trailer seemed to suggest that this movie came with some sharper humor and less plasticine human interaction, but I think this was largely just because it was giving us George Lopez’s best lines.

Blue Beetle ultimately felt like it had some good ideas and some nice framework for character relationships set up by Jaime’s family but it just wasn’t sure what to focus on. C+

Rated PG-13 for sequences of action and violence, language and some suggestive references, according to the MPA on filmratings.com. Directed by Angel Manuel Soto with a screenplay by Gareth Dunnet-Alcocer, Blue Beetle is two hours and seven minutes long and is distributed in theaters by Warner Bros.

day and Saturday from 11 a.m. to 6 p.m., and Sunday from noon to 5 p.m. Visit nhartassociation.org or call 431-4230.

trivia

• Revolution Taproom and Grill (61 N. Main St., Rochester, 244-3042, revolutiontaproomandgrill.com/ upcoming-events) at 6:30 p.m.

Monday

• Red’s (530 Lafayette Road, Seabrook, 760-0030, redskitchenandtavern.com), signup at 8:30 p.m., from 9 to 11 p.m. Hosted by DJ Zati.

Wednesday

• Community Oven (845 Lafayette Road, Hampton, 601-6311, thecommunityoven. com) at 6 p.m.

• Smuttynose (105 Towle Farm Road, Hampton, 436-4026, smuttynose.com) at 6 p.m.

• The Thirsty Moose (21 Congress St., Portsmouth, 427-8645, thirstymoosetaphouse.com) at 7 p.m.

Thursday

• Mitchell BBQ (50 N. Main St., Rochester, 332-2537, mitchellhillbbq.com) at 6 p.m.

Friday

• Gibb’s Garage Bar (3612 Lafayette Road, Portsmouth, gibbsgaragebar.com) from 8 to 10 p.m.

Blue Beetle.

Majestic” By Robert Rae Garrison. Photo courtesy of theartcenterdover.com.

S B R O W N

Just a joke?: cancel or consequence

There’s a growing sentiment among fans and some purveyors of comedy that goes a bit like this: “Almost anything a comic says on stage these days might get them canceled.” Most comedians get it, though — the trick is don’t be more mean than funny.

Comedy veteran and national touring standup Steve Hofstetter, who will perform in October at Nashua’s Center for the Arts, has a formula for whether a bit has crossed the line. “Jokes need to be more than fifty-one percent funny than whatever else they are, or it’s not a joke,” he said. “If there’s a joke about race that is less than fifty-one percent funny, it’s not a joke at all, it’s just a racist thing…. If something is so funny that it eclipses the subject matter that a comic is talking about, that’s what makes it a joke. If something is a little bit funny, but overwhelmingly something else, then the funny of it doesn’t matter at all.”

Some local comics offered their takes on how far is too far.

Jimmy Dunn: “There are certain things that no matter who you are you’re not going to make it funny, but people will try to make it funny. The No. 1 rule is it must be funny. Look, people are not coming out to be challenged or for you to insult their sensibilities. They’re just coming out for a good time. My attitude is usually I can write a joke that would have a point and would piss half the audience off. I have no interest in doing that. My job is to make everybody laugh, have everybody leave and have a good time. I don’t want controversy. That’s not what I do. There’s some great comics that do that that I follow and some of my friends have made great livings being the ‘I can’t believe he said that’ guy, you know? Not what I want to do. I want the husband and wife to have a great time and have a couple of drinks. I want the guy who owns the club to hand me a big bag of money and say, ‘Thanks for coming in. We’ll see you next week.’”

Kerri Louise: “I do think there is a line, but mine is so far north it’s unbelievable. The line has come down so far where you can’t even talk about a black crayon and someone’s gonna be like, ‘Wait, that’s racist.’ That’s where I get so angry and sad for every comedian. It does make you work harder; it makes you think, but it shouldn’t. Years ago, there was a line. You’re not going to

be mean but you’re going to make fun of what everybody else makes fun of. When you make fun of a stereotype, everybody can get the joke at the same time. If no one has that common knowledge, how can we make fun? We’re all making fun and having a good time, so relax. Kathy Griffin, I read her book, and she’s like, ‘Find your audience, because I know I’m not for everybody.’ It’s true. But what’s happening is people are seeking you out just to cancel you. I can only wish to be canceled; that means I’m popular. But no one’s canceled me right now, so I don’t have to worry about it.”

Steve Hofstetter, again: “I happen to think that cancel culture doesn’t exist. I cannot name a single comedian who has been canceled. I can name some who have been fired. I can name some who have been arrested. But anyone that someone holds up as a canceled icon, like Louis C.K.? He hosted SNL; that doesn’t sound canceled. Shane Gillis was canceled? No, he was fired from SNL. But now he’s playing venues twice the size that he was playing before that happened. There’s no one that’s gotten canceled, because the entertainment industry is direct to consumer these days. They determine whether or not you work. So the people who are worried about getting canceled or complaining that they’ve been canceled are either liars or people who don’t want to bother writing a new joke.”

Michael Witthaus

Kerry Louise. Courtesy photo.

thursday,

Hampton

Bernie’s: Adam Luffkin, 7 p.m.; Crooked Coast, 8 p.m.

Bogie’s: live music, 7 p.m.

CR’s: Just the Two of Us +1, 6 p.m.

The Goat: Taylor Hughes, 8 p.m.

L Street: Bob Tirelli, 2:30 p.m.; Keith Crocker, 7 p.m.

Sea Shell: Nashville Line Dance, 6 p.m.; Nick Casey, 7 p.m.

Smuttynose: 603’s, 6:30 p.m.

Wally’s: Max Sullivan Group, 9 p.m.

Whym: music bingo, 6 p.m.

Portsmouth

Gas Light: Johnny Angel, 2 p.m.; Rob & Jody Duo, 7 p.m.

The Goat: Isaiah Bennett, 9 p.m.

Seabrook

Backyard Burgers: Jennifer Mitchell, 6 p.m.

Red’s: Groovy Tuesday, 8 p.m

Venues

Concerts

3S Artspace 319 Vaughan St., Portsmouth, 766-3330, 3sarts.org

Hampton Beach Casino Ballroom

169 Ocean Blvd., Hampton Beach, 929-4100, casinoballroom.com

Jimmy’s Jazz and Blues Club

135 Congress St., Portsmouth, 888-603-JAZZ, jimmysoncongress.com

friday, sept. 1

Exeter

Sea Dog: live music, 5 p.m.

Shooters: Chris Bartell & Joe

Leweck, 6 p.m.

Hampton

Bernie’s: Luffkid, 8 p.m.

Bogie’s: live music, 7 p.m.

CR’s: Lou Antonucci, 6 p.m.

The Goat: Russ Six, 8 p.m.

L Street: live music, 8 p.m.

Sea Ketch: Alex Roy, 1 p.m.;

Chris Perkins, 8:30 p.m.

Sea Shell: Sweep the Leg, 7 p.m.

Smuttynose: Tim Theriault

Band, 6;30 p.m.

Wally’s: Chris Toler, 3 p.m.; 7

Day Weekend, 9 p.m.

Whym: Sam Hammerman, 6:30 p.m.

Portsmouth

Gas Light: Ralph Allen, 2 p.m., Truffle Band, 7 p.m.; Andrew

Geano, 9;30 p.m.

The Goat: Chris Toler, 9 p.m.

Mojo’s: live music, 7 p.m

Seabrook

Chop Shop: The Strip, 8:30 p.m.

Red’s: live music, 8 p.m.

The Music Hall 28 Chestnut St., Portsmouth, 436-2400, themusichall.org

The Music Hall Lounge 131 Congress St., Portsmouth, 436-2400, themusichall.org

Press Room 77 Daniel St., Portsmouth, 431-5186, pressroomnh.com

The Strand 20 Third St., Dover, 3431899, thestranddover.com

s aturday, s ept. 2

Exeter

Sea Dog: live music, 6 p.m.

Hampton

Bernie’s: MB Padfield, 1 p.m.

Bogie’s: live music, 7 p.m.

L Street: live music, 8 p.m.

Sea Ketch: Ricky Lauria, 1 p.m.; Lewis Goodwin, 8:30 p.m.

Sea Shell: Cirque du Hampton Beach, 7 p.m.

Smuttynose: Malcolm

Salls, 1 p.m.; Dancing

Madly Backwards, 6:30 p.m.

Wally’s: Russ Six, 3 p.m.

Whym: Doug Thompson, 6 p.m.

Portsmouth

Cisco: Mattson, 4 p.m.

Gas Light Pub: David Corson, 2 p.m.; Now is Now, 7 p.m.; Scotty Cloutier, 7:30 p.m.;

Goat: Mike Forgette, 9 p.m.

Seabrook

Red’s: live music, 8 p.m.

The Word Barn 66 Newfields Road, Exeter, 244-0202, thewordbarn.com

Shows

• The Whiskey Treaty Roadshow Aug. 31, 7 p.m., Word Barn

• Seth Glier Thursday, Aug. 31, 8 p.m., Music Hall Lounge

• Rigometrics/Dave Gutter/ The Button Men Thursday, Aug. 31, 8 p.m., Press Room

• Eels Thursday, Aug. 31, 8 p.m., Stone Church

• Cowboy Junkies Thursday, Aug. 31, 8 p.m., 3S Artspace

s unday, s ept. 3

Hampton

Bogie’s: live music, 7 p.m.

The Goat: Justin Jordan, 1 p.m.

L Street: live music, 7 p.m.

Sea Ketch: Ray Zerkle, 1 p.m.; Lewis Goodwin, 8:30 p.m.

Sea Shell: South Street Band, 7 p.m.

Smuttynose: Johnny Angel, 1 p.m.

Wally’s: MB Padfield, 2 p.m.

Portsmouth

Gas Light: Sam Hammerman, 2 p.m.; Dis n Dat, 7 p.m.; Alex Cormier, 7:30 p.m.

The Goat: Rob Pagnano, 9 p.m.

Seabrook

Beach Deck: Chris Michaels, 4 p.m.

m onday, s ept. 4

Hampton

The Goat: Caylin Costello, 9 p.m.

L Street: live music, 4 p.m.

• Joss Stone Thursday, Aug. 31, 8 p.m., Casino Ballroom

• Robert Cray Band Friday, Sept. 1, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• One Night of Queen Friday, Sept. 1, 8 p.m., Casino Ballroom

• Kassi Valazza Saturday, Sept. 2, 7 p.m., Word Barn

• Gimme Gimme Disco Saturday, Sept. 2, 8 p.m., Hampton Beach Casino Ballroom

• Sway Wild Sunday, Sept. 3, 7 p.m., Word Barn

• The Righteous Babes Sunday, Sept. 3, 8 p.m., The Music Hall

• Joe Louis Walker Wednesday, Sept. 6, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

Sea Ketch: Ray Zerkle, 1 p.m.

Sea Shell: GemsTones, 7 p.m.

Wally’s: Brooks Hubbard, 2 p.m.

Portsmouth

Gas Light: Johnny Friday, 2 p.m.; Jodee Frawlee, 7:30 p.m.

The Goat: Good Thomas’s musical bingo, 7 p.m.; Alex Anthony, 9 p.m.

Seabrook

Red’s: music bingo, 7 p.m.

tuesday, sept. 5

Hampton

Bernie’s: Chris Toler, 7 p.m.

The Goat: Mike Forgette, 9 p.m.

L Street: live music, 4 p.m.

Shane’s: music bingo, 7 p.m.

Wally’s: Mike Forgette, 3 p.m.; musical bingo, 7 p.m.

Portsmouth

Gas Light: Lewis Goodwin, 7:30 p.m.

The Goat: Isaiah Bennett, 8 p.m.

• Lucy Wainwright Roche & Suzzy Roche Wednesday, Sept. 6, and Thursday, Sept. 7, 7 p.m., The Music Hall Lounge

• Ruthie Foster Thursday, Sept. 7, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Damien Jurado Thursday, Sept. 7, 8 p.m., Press Room

• George Thorogood and the Destroyers Thursday, Sept. 7, 8 p.m., Casino Ballroom

• The Soul Rebels Friday, Sept. 8, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Damien Jurado w/Lilly Miller Friday, Sept. 8, 7 p.m., Word Barn

Seabrook

Backyard Burgers: music bingo with Jennifer Mitchell, 7 p.m.

Red’s: country night, 7 p.m.

Wednesday, s ept. 6

Hampton

Bogie’s: open mic, 7 p.m.

The Goat: Justin Jordan, 8 p.m.

L Street: live music, 4:30 p.m.

Wally’s: Jonny Friday Duo, 3 p.m.; live band karaoke, 8 p.m.

Portsmouth

Gas Light: Pete Peterson, 7:30 p.m. Press Room: open mic, 5:30 p.m.

Rochester

Porter’s: live music, 6:30 p.m.

Seabrook

Chop Shop: DJ Manny awesome DJ event, 7:30 p.m.

• Blue Skies on Mars/Lovesick Friday, Sept. 8, 8 p.m., 3S Artspace

• Damien Jurado w/Lilly Miller Friday, Sept. 8, 7 p.m., Word Barn

• Guy Davis Friday, Sept. 8, 8 p.m., Music Hall Lounge

• Let’s Sing Taylor (Taylor Swift tribute) Friday, Sept. 8. 8 p.m., Music Hall

• Larry Carlton: Greatest Hits & Steely Dan Saturday, Sept. 9, 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Son of a Gun (Guns N’ Roses tribute) Saturday, Sept. 9, 8 p.m., Rochester Opera House

• Radio Flashback (classic rock tribute) Saturday, Sept. 9, 7 p.m., The Strand

• Lucy Kaplansky Saturday, Sept. 9, 8 p.m., Music Hall

Lounge

• Radio Flashback (classic rock tribute) Saturday, Sept. 9, 7 p.m., The Strand

• Southern Avenue Sunday, Sept. 10, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Nolan Taylor Sunday, Sept.

10, 7 p.m., Music Hall Lounge

• Godspeed You! Black

Emperor Monday, Sept. 11, 7:30 p.m., The Music Hall

• Los Lobos Wednesday, Sept.

13, 7 p.m., Music Hall

• Kimaya Diggs Wednesday, Sept. 13, 7 p.m., Press Room

• Jake Manzi Wednesday, Sept. 13, 7 p.m., Press Room

• High Pulp Tuesday, Sept. 13, 8 p.m., Press Room

• The Samples Thursday, Sept. 14, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Jill Sobule Thursday, Sept. 14, 7 p.m., The Music Hall Lounge

• Chatham Rabbits Thursday, Sept. 14, 7 p.m., The Word Barn

• PROGJECT: The Ultimate Prog Rock Musical Experience Thursday, Sept. 14, 8 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Mindi Abair Friday, Sept. 15, 7 p.m. and 9:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• LoveSexy (Prince tribute)

Friday, Sept. 15, 8 p.m., Stone Church

• Niko Moon Friday, Sept. 15, 8 p.m., Casino Ballroom

• Jerron Paxton & Dennis Lichtman Saturday, Sept. 16, 7 p.m., Stone Church

• Queens (female pop singer tribute) Saturday, Sept. 16, 8 p.m., Stone Church

• The Yellowhouse Blues Band Saturday, Sept. 16, 7 p.m., Press Room

• Amy Speace Saturday, Sept. 16, 8 p.m., Music Hall Lounge

• Ween Saturday, Sept. 16, 8 p.m., Casino Ballroom

• David Wilcox Sunday, Sept. 17, 7 p.m., Word Barn

• Dave McMurray Sunday, Sept. 17, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Killer Queen Tuesday, Sept. 19, 7 p.m., Music Hall

• Bonerama Wednesday, Sept. 20, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Yo-Yo Ma Wednesday, Sept. 20, 7:30 p.m., Music Hall

• Black Veil Brides & VV

Wednesday, Sept. 20, 8 p.m., Casino Ballroom

• The Wolff Sisters Thursday, Sept. 21, 7 p.m., Word Barn

• Mike Campbell & the Dirty Knobs Saturday, Sept. 23, 8 p.m., Music Hall

• WailOn (Waylon Jennings/ Highwaymen tribute) Saturday, Sept. 23, 8 p.m., Rochester

Opera House

• Blue October Saturday, Sept. 23, 8 p.m., Casino Ballroom

• Bearly Dead (Grateful Dead tribute) Saturday, Sept. 23, 8 p.m., 3S Artspace

• Stanley Jordan Sunday, Sept. 24, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Nick Goumas Quartet Saturday, Sept. 23, 6 p.m., Press Room

• Oteil & Friends Sunday, Sept. 24, 8 p.m., Music Hall

• May Erlewine Monday, Sept. 25, 7 p.m., Music Hall Lounge

• Hot Tuna Electric Monday, Sept. 25, 7 p.m., Music Hall

• Ben Folds Wednesday, Sept. 27, 7:30 p.m., Music Hall

• John Primer Wednesday, Sept. 27, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Ana Popovic Thursday, Sept. 28, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Englebert Humperdinck

Saturday, Sept. 30, 8 p.m., Casino Ballroom

• Rod Stewart Tribute Saturday, Sept. 30, 8 p.m., Strand

• Dirty Deeds: The ACDC

Experience Saturday, Sept. 30, 8 p.m., Rochester Opera House

• Drew Holcolmb & the Neighbors Saturday, Sept. 30, 8 p.m., Music Hall

• Jonatha Brooke Sunday, Oct. 1, 5:30 p.m. & 8 p.m., Music Hall Lounge

• Walter Trout Sunday, Oct. 1, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Will Oldham Monday, Oct. 2, 8 p.m., Press Room

• Oz Noy/Dennis Chambers/ Jimmy Haslip Wednesday, Oct. 4, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Amythyst Kiah Wednesday, Oct. 4, 8:30 p.m., Music Hall

Lounge

• Ben Harper Wednesday, Oct. 4, 8 p.m., Casino Ballroom

• Mandy Patinkin Saturday, Oct. 7, 8 p.m., Music Hall

• Yacht Rock Schooner Sunday, Oct. 8, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Acoustic Alchemy Wednesday, Oct. 18, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• North Mississippi All-Stars

Thursday, Oct. 19, 7:30 p.m.,

Jimmy’s

• Antje Duvekot Thursday, Oct. 19, 7:30 p.m., Music Hall

Lounge

• The Weight Band (The Band tribute) Friday, Oct. 20, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Nicole Zuraitis Friday, Oct. 26, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• The Brubeck Brothers Saturday, Oct. 27, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Natalie McMaster & Donnell

Leahy Friday, Nov. 3, 8 p.m., Music Hall

Comedy

Press Room 77 Daniel St., Portsmouth, 4315186, pressroomnh.com

Rochester Opera House

31 Wakefield St., Rochester, 335-1992, rochesteroperahouse. com

Stone Church

5 Granite St., Newmarket, 6597700, stonechurchrocks.com

The Word Barn

66 Newfields Road, Exeter, 244-0202, thewordbarn.com

Events

• Josh Day/Kathe Farris Word Barn, Thursday, Sept. 7, 7 p.m.

• Pinky Patel Music Hall, Thursday, Sept. 21, 7:30 p.m.

Hand

Venues

Casino Ballroom 169 Ocean Blvd., Hampton Beach, 929-4100, casinoballroom.com

• Bassem Youssef Music Hall Lounge Friday, Sept. 29, 6 p.m. and 8:30 p.m., and Saturday, Sept. 30, 6 p.m., and 9 p.m.

• Gretchen Parlato & Lionel Loueke Thursday, Oct. 5, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

3 Great Shops in One Seacoast NH Destination!

• Vanessa Collier Thursday, Sept. 21, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Pam Tillis Friday, Sept. 22, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

• Mick Flannery/Jeffrey Martin Thursday, Sept. 28, 7 p.m., Word Barn

• Michael Carbonaro Music Hall Lounge, Friday, Oct. 6, 7 p.m.

• Harper and Midwest Kind Friday, Oct. 6, 7:30 p.m., Jimmy’s

Come visit our historic properties filled with a wide variety of antiques, art and collectibles. Our eclectic shops feature over 100 dealers offering buyers a true shopping destination.

• Skerryvore Friday, Sept. 22, 8 p.m., Rochester Opera House

• Angelina Jordan Friday, Sept. 22, 8 p.m., Music Hall

• Beth Hart Thursday, Sept. 28, 8 p.m., Casino Ballroom

• Stayin Alive: One Night with the Bee Gees Friday, Sept. 29, 8 p.m., Rochester Opera House

• Lilli Lewis Saturday, Oct. 7, 7 p.m., Music Hall Lounge

The Community Oven 845 Lafayette Road, Hampton, 601-6311, thecommunityoven. com

• Howie Mandel Music Hall, Wednesday, Oct. 18, 7:30 p.m.

3 Great Shops in One Seacoast NH Destination!

• David Koechner Music Hall Lounge, Saturday, Nov. 4, 6 p.m. & 8:30 p.m.

Dealers welcome • Tax Free NH

• The Last Revel Friday, Sept. 29, 7 p.m., Word Barn

• Dancing Dream (ABBA tribute) Saturday, Oct. 7, 8 p.m., Rochester Opera House

Route 1 Antiques

Come visit our historic properties filled with a wide variety of antiques, art and collectibles. Our eclectic shops feature over 100 dealers offering buyers a true shopping destination.

The Music Hall Lounge 131 Congress St., Portsmouth, 436-2400, themusichall.org

3 Great Shops in One Seacoast NH Destination!

Route

Come visit our historic properties filled with a wide variety of antiques, art, and collectibles. Our eclectic shops feature over 100 dealers offering buyers a true shopping destination.

Route 1 Antiques

• Ben Bailey Music Hall Lounge, Thursday, Nov. 9, 6 p.m. and 8:30 p.m.

Route

Dealers welcome • Tax Free NH

- Since 1975106 Lafayette Road Hampton Falls, NH 03844 • (603) 601-2554 www.route1antiques.com

Route

The

The Collector’s

Stratham, NH • (603) 772-6205 www.collectorseye.com Open

greatest casualty of fuel faux pas is your wallet — not your car

By Ray Magliozzi

Dear Car Talk: I accidentally put diesel in my gasoline engine. I drove about 50 miles before bad things began to happen. Will this destroy my car?

—

Sarah

No. This is a root canal, Sarah, not an extraction. This can be fixed — with some pain and money.

The reason it took 50 miles to start sputtering and conking out is because you still had a good amount of gasoline in the pump, the fuel line and the fuel rail. Once that pure gasoline was combusted, your engine was trying to combust diesel fuel, which it can’t do.

At this point, the diesel fuel has worked its way through your fuel system and into the cylinders.

Not ideal. But I think the patient can be saved.

Your mechanic will have to clean out your entire fuel system. He’ll have to remove and flush out the fuel tank,

the pump and the line. He’ll also have to remove the fuel rail — which feeds the injectors — and flush that, too.

There’s undoubtedly some diesel fuel inside the cylinders at this point, too. To get the bulk of that out, he can remove the spark plugs and crank the engine — blowing it out the spark plug holes.

And once he gets the fuel injectors spraying pure gasoline again, running the engine should push the rest of the diesel out of the cylinders.

The other possible casualty is your catalytic converter. It’ll probably be OK, but it’s not designed to handle diesel fuel, so time will tell.

The biggest casualty, Sarah (other than your ego)? Your wallet. This is a time consuming, messy job. Removing the fuel rail, in particular, can be difficult on lots of cars. So, expect to spend many hundreds of dollars.

The good news is that the more you spend, the less likely you are to ever do this again.

And I’m guessing this’ll be a oncein-a-lifetime experience for you, Sarah. So take pictures.

Dear Car Talk:

Can you recommend a good compression test gauge for a shade tree mechanic?

— Kevin

Interestingly, I can’t even remember the last time I used a compression tester, Kevin. So, if you can find mine, you can have it.

Cars just don’t burn through valves and piston rings like they used to. So, we rarely see cars with compression issues these days.

Plus, we do a lot of diagnosis using our scan tool. The scan tool can tell you, for instance, if there’s gasoline that’s not being combusted in one or more of the cylinders. But to find out why, you have to dig in and start taking things apart.

If you suspect that the problem is bad compression — due to a bad valve, a worn piston ring or a badly blown head gasket — a compression test will give you a definitive answer.

An engine works by compressing the air and fuel mixture inside the cylinder. If the compression doesn’t get high enough, the mixture won’t combust well, and the

engine will run poorly -- or not at all.

So, to test each cylinder’s compression, you remove the spark plugs and thread the compression gauge into one of the spark plug holes. Then you crank the engine, as if you were starting it, and check the reading. And you do that for each cylinder.

A compression gauge doesn’t have to be a precision instrument, because what you’re really looking for is a big difference between the cylinders. So if three cylinders are at 150 pounds and one is at 80 pounds, you know there’s a problem. If the absolute numbers are off a bit, it hardly matters.

If you go online, or to your local auto parts store, Kevin, you should see a wide selection of compression gauges for sale. You really don’t need to spend more than $30 or $40 to get one that’ll do the job. Look for one with a hose, which makes it a little more versatile and easier to use. And then, once you’ve checked your own compression, your wife’s, and your fatherin-law’s, maybe you can put up a yard sign that says “free compression tests” and make some new friends.

Visit Cartalk.com

BeACh BUm fUN HOROSCOPES

All quotes are from Artificial Condition, by Martha Wells, born Sept. 1, 1964.

Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 22) The leisure to sort through everything and get it organized, and give it my full attention … was still something I was getting used to. Use color-coded folders.

Libra (Sept. 23 – Oct. 22) I realized I had been trapped into this conversational dead end, with the transport pretending to need this explained in order to get me to articulate it to myself. Know why you’re talking.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 21) Part of my job … was to give clients advice when they asked for it…. Not that a lot of them had asked for it, or had listened to me. Not that I’m bitter about that, or anything. You do what you can.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 – Dec. 21) Maro threw a look around and said, ‘We shouldn’t talk here, maybe. Is there someplace else we could go?’ It had been stressful enough getting here, I didn’t want to have to go anywhere else right now. Wherever you go, there you are.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19) Fortunately I remembered that nobody expected me to be compelled to answer all questions immediately. Think it over.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18) I didn’t react visibly, because I’m used to clients making bad decisions, and I was getting a lot of practice at controlling my expression. If you don’t have something nice to say….

Pisces (Feb. 19 – March 20) Rotating the map to look at it from every angle didn’t jog anything in the fragments of memory I had of that time. You might need a different map.

Aries (March 21 – April 19) … hundreds of hours of media, serials, books, music, including some new shows I had just picked up on the way through the transit mall, in exchange for a ride. A good deal.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20) Fortunately, the humans and augmented humans were too busy trying to get wherever they were going or searching the feed for directions and transport schedules. You get a break when everyone’s busy.

Gemini (May 21 – June 20) … I had been a free agent among humans for less than seven cycles … and I already needed a vacation. Blast the Go-Go’s and go.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22) … transport boxes don’t have padding, so traveling in comfort was still a novelty. Wear comfortable clothes.

Leo (July 23 – Aug. 22) I started sorting through the new media I’d downloaded on the transit ring. It had some entertainment channels that … included a lot of new dramas and action series. Try a new series!

Last Week’s Answers:

But why?

Seattle police were called to a home on Aug. 18 for a reported burglary, KOMO-TV reported. A young woman inside the home said someone was trying to break in with a stick. Officers went into the home and found the victim hiding upstairs. The suspect, who was identified only as a 40-year-old male, was discovered in the garage, in one of the homeowner’s vehicles, where he was guzzling gasoline from a jerrycan. He refused to leave the car, so police broke the driver’s side window and took him out. He was charged with attempted burglary.

It’s come to this

United Airlines pilot Kenneth Henderson Jones, 63, told police that he had “hit his breaking point” on Aug. 2 after he took an ax to an employee parking lot gate at Denver International Airport, Denver7-TV reported. Video of the incident showed Jones hacking away at the gate with little effect, until he realized the sheath was still on the blade. With about 15 more seconds of striking it with the sharp blade, the gate broke. Jones then returned to the parking lot with a security guard in pursuit. After a brief

sUD ok U

struggle, Jones was detained in a nearby field by police officers. He was charged with misdemeanor criminal mischief and later released; United said he was “removed from the schedule.” Jones told deputies was “trying to get rid of issues for everyone waiting” in the exit lines.

Bad dog

Magda Mazri and Donato Frattaroli of Boston are set to tie the knot on Aug. 31 in Lake Garda, Italy, Fox News reported, with almost 100 guests in attendance. But on Aug. 17, as the couple dined out to celebrate getting their wedding license, their golden retriever, Chickie, chewed up Frattaroli’s passport. “I can’t be mad at Chickie because I’m the idiot who left the passport out where she could get it,” Frattaroli said, adding that he can’t sleep. Mazri jumped into action, contacting local officials and the passport agency. “It’s been a complete whirlwind,” she said. While they’re hopeful that a new passport can be issued in time, Frattaroli is prepared for the worst. “Tell everybody that’s going to have a great time enjoying the beautiful event that Magda spent the last 18 months planning. I’ll see everybody when they get back,” he said.

Crime report

Porch pirates, meet your leader. Robin Swanger of Arnco, Georgia, was charged with felony theft after he allegedly stole an entire porch from a neighbor’s yard, Fox News reported on Aug. 22. The 8-by-10-foot wooden porch was left on the property when the house was moved away, but investigators said Swanger ignored “no trespassing” signs and removed the “very well-constructed” structure. “Some people may shrug their shoulders and say it’s not a big deal,” said county investigator Chris Stapler, “but when you take someone’s property without their consent and the value of this porch is $3,000, you can’t just go and take stuff off someone’s property.” Well said.

News that sounds like a joke

Dog ownership in Iran is frowned upon in many circles (dogs are considered “unclean”), but authorities took their biases to another level after a couple transferred the title to their apartment to their little white dog, Chester. The couple have no heirs, and Chester “signed” with an ink-covered paw. Yahoo! News reported that on Aug. 19, Iranian police “arrested the head of the real estate agen-

cy and shuttered the firm,” according to deputy prosecutor general Reza Tabar. The sale “seeks to normalize the violation of the society’s moral values” and “has no legal basis.”

News you can use

Along with all the other natural oddities going on this summer, people are reporting exploding watermelons, NBC New York reported. What? “My melon was on the counter and it must have already been bad when I got it and the next day I came down to an awful smell and rotten melon everywhere,” one person commented on a Facebook post about the phenomenon. Keith Schneider, professor in the Food Science and Human Nutrition Department at the University of Florida, said the explosions are “probably due to the heat. The fruit, if slightly damaged, can begin fermenting. If enough fermentation occurs, which produces gas, enough internal pressure may build up for the watermelon to crack or pop.” And don’t eat it! “The watermelon is undergoing decay, so it’s best to bring it back to the store and get a replacement or just toss it,” Schneider added. Put that melon in the refrigerator before and after cutting it, experts advise.

Fill in the grid so that every row, every column, and every 3x3 box contains the digits 1 through 9. Answers will appear in next week’s paper.

Puzzle A from 8/24

Puzzle B from 8/24

Puzzle B

Puzzle A

“Convent-ional Wisdom”— six across answers hide a figure.

16. Blue Ribbon beers

17. Parent’s much cooler kid-spoiling sibling, maybe

18. “All in the Family” character

19. Venti or XXL, e.g.

20. “___ dead, Jim”

21. Go without being played, at the end of some board games

25. Happy expression

26. Give the appearance of

30. Garment parents want to make sure their kids always have on, lest they be embarrassed

34. “But what ___ know?”

35. Neither partner

36. Music genre that asks you to “pick it up pick it up”

37. Cartoon title character seen with Diamond, Amethyst, and Pearl

44. Chinese laptop brand

45. Ireland, on old coins

46. Big company in 19th-century communications

8/24

52. Andrews or Maxwell, for short

55. Notable periods

56. AC___ (auto parts manufacturer)

57. Frank Zappa’s daughter

60. Character that visits Owl

61. Back, as a candidate

62. Remington played by Pierce Brosnan

63. Confounded

64. Martinez and Pascal, for two

Down

1. “___ your instructions ...”

2. Piece of grass

3. “The Girl From Ipanema” composer Antonio Carlos ___

4. Overshadow, in a way

5. 401(k) alternative named for a senator

6. Tennis partners?

7. Japanese car brand that somehow gets a long vowel in Australian ads

8. Maneuver delicately

9. “ER” setting

10. What an opener opens

11. Foot support

12. River at Khartoum

13. Water testers

17. “Jaws” sighting

19. Bush Sr.’s chief of staff John

23. Mountain suffix

24. “Do the ___” (soft drink slogan)

27. Untidiness

28. Point of view

29. Singer Rita

30. Dove shelter

31. A property may have one on it

32. Prefix with fiction

33. Hand towel users

34. Broadband initials

38. Wedding promise

39. Penultimate day

40. What gibberish makes

41. Diesel of “Guardians of the Galaxy”

42. Knowledgeable

43. Went back (on)

47. Put in the effort

48. Do a mukbang, e.g.

49. Not as healthy

50. Sponge by 3M

51. “10/10, no ___”

52. Iowa State’s location

53. Garamond, for one

54. Word before builder or pillow

58. ___ de plume

59. Debunked spoon bender Geller

60. Handheld Sony console of the mid-2000s

© 2023 Matt Jones

roCk AND roLL CrossWorDs BY TODD SAnTOS

t here was a band playing in my head

It’s a summer re-run! Enjoy this puzzle from 2011.

Across

1. Counting Crows “And __ begins to change her mind”

5. Bob Dylan ‘A Hard Rain’s A-Gonna __’

9. ‘New Frontier’ Donald

14. Might need one from the folks

15. Neil Young-penned song about Midwest university

16. Young MC ‘Bust __ __’

17. Symphonic 70s rockers named after Camelot lady?

18. Fiddler hangs there

19. 70s ‘Have You Seen Her’ soul band Chi-__

20. Billy Bragg & Wilco classic

23. Manager might know them

24. Stones ‘Get __ Ya-Yas Out!’

25. CCR ‘Long As ___’

34. ‘Angel’ McLachlan

35. ‘Live Taste’ Gallagher

36. Led Zep ‘Hats Off To (__) Harper’

37. Dire Straits ‘Brothers’ were in them

38. Meat on sex & rock sandwich

40. Neil Young has a ‘Cinnamon’ one

41. Used ‘Sad Days __’

42. Kind of note

43. ‘Kids In America’ Kim

44. Neil Young conquistador classic

48. __ Maria

49. Paul Simon partner Garfunkel

50. ‘Don’t Look Back’ Boston jam

59. Some rockers get pushed over them

60. ‘Spinning On An __’Paul McCartney

61. John Williams music follows this Harrison Ford character (abbr)

62. Clapton ‘Unplugged’ instrumental

63. See 15 Across

64. Musical Fox show

65. First albums?

66. Like bad boy image

67. What Plant and Krauss were ‘Raising’

1. Baldwin in musical South Pacific

2. Reaganomics song about singer Hendryx?

3. Squeeze ‘Another __ In My Heart’

4. Neil Young “__ __ felt like getting high”

5. Stryper ‘All __ __’

6. What America rode through the desert

7. Mumford & Sons ‘Little __ Man’

8. Not high fidelity (hyph)

9. “So let us not talk __ now, the hour is getting late”

10. ‘Nothing Ever Happens’ Del __

11. Christie McVie ‘__ __ Hold On Me’

12. Rob Thomas ‘__ The Same’

13. Judas Priest ‘Loch __’

21. What bassist Mike Gordon fries?

22. The Soloist was based on this Nathaniel

25. ‘Black Moses’ Hayes

26. Men At Work ‘Dr. Heckyll & Mr. Jive’ album

27. Mosh pit need, perhaps

28. Damian Marley sidekick

29. Neil Young ‘__ Be Known’

30. Noise rockers Boss __

31. Sunset Strip rocker hang Rainbow Bar & __

32. 90s jam band tour

33. ‘Total Eclipse Of The Heart’ Bonnie

38. Shenandoah ‘Two __ Roses’

39. Devildriver ‘Head On To Heartache (Let Them __)’

40. Band Of Horses ‘Wicked __’

42. Edits

43. Lyrical keenness

45. Replacements ‘__ Show’

46. Green room activity

47. Offspring ‘__, Are You Doing Okay?’

50. Outdoor concert with many bands (abbr)

51. Sedgwick on Dramarama’s ‘Cinema Verite’ cover

52. UK band The Lovely __

53. Pete Drake ‘For Pete’s __’

54. Cut a member

55. London band Marseille __

56. Missing Persons ‘Walking In __’

57. Neil Young ‘Blue __’

58. Circa Survive ‘__ In The Wool’

© 2011 Todd Santos