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FP News
Dundee Inver Discs with Stella Lamassa, Self-Employed Yoga Teacher, Therapist & Singer, Class of 1988 Castaways must select eight records, providing as much detail as they wish about the reasons for their choices. They are provided with a copy of the Complete Works of William Shakespeare and their chosen Bible or philosophical text. Over and above this, they may select one book (omnibuses are acceptable) and one luxury, for which practicalities of transport or quantities are not of concern. Pianos and ‘a lifetime’s supply of X’ are often popular options, however, the luxury item cannot be another person. One of my proudest moments as a mother was being cheered and applauded by my children. They were at the breakfast table, my daughter was still young enough to let me put her hair in pigtails and my twin boys weren’t yet old enough to be embarrassed by me. I had been humming a wee ditty when one of them asked what I was singing. Well, you don’t need to ask me twice! As they sat at the table they soon lost interest in their Honey Nut Cheerios because I was treating them to a rendition of Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody. I scaled three octaves, played air guitar and my operatic-deathbed-chest-pound was breathtaking. They were transfixed. Nobody cared what I had packed for lunch or if their banana was cut up or if the dog was lapping the leftover cereal milk. I slow motioned a Monty Python Silly Walk out of the kitchen bleating, “any way the wind bloooooooooooows……” to rapturous applause. A truly magnificent work of art, the Queen recording that is, not my performance (modest flutter of the lashes). Nina Simone, Feeling Good – Enough said! I was very nervous about going to my 30th Dundee High School Reunion and almost cancelled at the last minute. I was furiously conjuring excuses like, “Sorry, Gordon, the plane broke and they didn’t have another one in the shed,” or “Jill, you won’t believe this, but the GPS took me to the King’s Theatre in Aberdeen, I guess I won’t make it after all.” But, I am so glad I showed up! The first person I bumped into was Stuart Pemble who helped me find a parking spot across from his wife’s Mini Cooper. It was a memorable day. You can find Sean Smith’s video somewhere on YouTube of Rod Taylor on piano and the rest us all singing along to Dignity by Deacon Blue in the music room. We sounded amazing. (Yes, really we did!) A remarkable feat considering we were all completely out of breath after hoofing it up all those steps! The other song that always make me think of my High School days is Come On Eileen by Dexy’s Midnight Runners. Cliff Baty and I used to have a tradition of dancing together to this song at every disco. I wish I could describe our dance moves, but I’m afraid there are no words. Suffice to say, when the song got faster, so did we. It is such a treat when I can get the BBC iPlayer app to work. Mostly I listen to The Archers, but on this particular day I was listening to Radio 2. I was making the left onto Lakeshore Boulevard when No Love Dying by Gregory Porter came on. As it reached the end of the first chorus I was pulling into the driveway. There are some songs that stop you in your tracks, or at least stop you driving into the garage door. This song is one of them. I sat in the driveway until the song ended and then I sat a little while after that. “Well the death of love is everywhere, but I won’t let that be. There will be no love that’s dying here, for me.”
I once boogied with Lionel Ritchie to Dancing on the Ceiling. No, really! My husband had bought two tickets. Madison Square Garden. Second row. Good man, Pete! We bumped into our friends, Christine and Bill, who also had tickets but they were up in the nosebleeds. I pitied them, but not to their face. The next day Christine sent me a video she had taken of the show. Lionel Ritchie on stage and a woman flailing in the second row. She texted, “Is that you?” I texted back, “YES. I WAS THAT WHIRLING DERVISH.” Ian White is a worship leader and songwriter from Perth. On his album, Move That Foot, he recorded a song written by Chris Eaton called Something New. Some days life goes from hope to despair in an instant. This songs cheers me and rallies me every time I hear it. Jolene by Dolly Parton. Whether you like it or not, you know this song. Everyone knows this song. My lovely mum was visiting me in New York and we were driving when it came on the radio. As it was fading out, my mother snarled, “Oh, Jolene. You can have him. He’s a bastard.” My mother should have been a songwriter because that’s a killer hook. When I was young, I spent a lot of time at my grandparents’ house. I knew every nook and cranny. The cupboard under the stairs was my favourite haunt. You had to push past the industrial sized vacuum cleaner, boxes of supplies from the cash and carry and big coats hanging on hooks on both sides. If you persevered and fought your way to the very back wall you would come face to face with a sword. That’s right. A sword. In its scabbard. It wasn’t fancy and I have no idea if it had ever been used, but I checked on it often. I never told my grandparents that I found it but what a thrill to sit at Sunday lunch eating my Granny’s Scotch Broth knowing that there was a weapon of war close by. Imagine. In case of an invasion, I would know exactly what to do! I can’t think of a better luxury item than a sword, can you? If I ever write a novel, you can bet that sword will feature in it. It will be covered in dried blood, splattered with mud and so sharp it could cut a silk scarf in two, just like the samurai sword in The Bodyguard starring Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston. Choose a piece of literature? Easy! Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson. If Alan Breck Stewart can’t teach me how to wield that bloody sword, nobody can!
