VINED Chapter 3

The following pages are odes and tributes to my personal experiences with those I love the most, including my husband, my children, and especially my God.

Reader discretion is advised.

1

Love is Truth. It will protect through lies. Love is a decision. It is not a feeling. Love is Sacrifice. It wills to serve. You Are Love, and You Chose to Love Me.

Now I can love others. Now I know how to love others.

Song of Sedies

Satan stalks covenants like ours

Ones that can make it

Ones that can endure every season

Ones where both parties are naked, Spiritually and physically

My favorite position is underneath your flesh Nestled in your chest, I enjoy spousal rest

Dark chocolate melts over your muscles

Your brown eyes make my heart roll in tussles

Your locs flow, laced over my face My worries disappear all over the place

Heavy breathing, Sweat dripping

Bringing God glory

By keeping our marital bed clean Is the moral of our story

I cling to our vows

Every word promised and kept is a step closer to God’s throne

To Him, we bow to praise To you, I kneel to feast

I yearn to receive you

From every opening

Including my soul

Pulsating from inside

Our love explodes

As our spirits feel through flesh They meet and flirt every encounter in another realm

We are destined for each other

I pray while we climb each other

To satisfy you

Your lips meet me at the finish line

To think I almost gave this up

Through the smoke screens and traps the devil set up

I thank God for remembering us

Hearing our prayers for restoration

Here we are Rebuilt Rejuvenated Revived Breathing.

I surrender.

My eyelids rise before the sunrise, and I’m thinking of You.

I surrender.

I didn’t set an alarm. My spirit was waiting for You to wake her up, and tell her when it was time to spend time together.

I surrender.

You’re the first One that I say ‘Good Morning’’ to.

E Kaaro. Bonjour.

Bom Dia. Buenos Dias.

I surrender.

As I read more, I feel like I need more.

s u r r e n d e r

I am a vampire for Your Righteousness. Motivated by a different type of Blood. A Resurrected Type of Blood. Dripping from realm to realm. Ruling and Reigning from The Right Hand Side. I submit to it.

I surrender.

I don’t trust my flesh or my own heart. I don’t trust my tongue or my gut.

Holy Spirit, help me. Give me a clean heart, so that I may worship You in Spirit and Truth.

This flesh means nothing to me. This world means nothing to me. So I give it all up.. Voluntarily.

I wake up, remembering that I am a Child of the Light.

You never called me a Christian. The pagans did that. You called me Your Child, by faith.

You never called us to be worried about what we see. The pagans did that. You told us to walk, by faith.

They promote celebrating the next ‘holiday’ to prevent me from honoring Your Next Holy Day.

All they do is ‘distract’. They don’t want peace. They want me to sleep.

I rise, in You.

I am of the Light. I am fully awake.

I see everything that I need to see.

You Promised that nothing would or could surprise me. Not even a thief in the night.

Ski mask, offward.

Whether it’s a certain time during the 24 hours we’re stuck in, or a certain dark angle their hearts are turned to, So much happens in the night.

I don’t want anything to do with that. I don’t want to do what they do. I don’t want what they want.

I don’t yearn for what they strive for.

Even when my earth-machine is sleeping, I’m risen.

rise and shine

measured bliss

Your Glory and Your Might Are far too wonderful to me

The only way I can endure Your Presence Is if I feel it, gently

I prayed this to You, And You heard my genuine cry You fulfilled my request And showed up quietly You didn’t pry.

When I swirled into Your Presence, I didn’t know what to expect.

I first felt a jolt in my heart, But didn’t what would come next.

Then the Holy Spirit reminded me exactly what I prayed. As soon as He did, I finally let loose in the space, and stayed He said You wouldn’t come with bells and whistles, But more like a soft wind.

So Clean my spirit with Your divine bristles, And Sweep me over so Our Bliss can begin.

It finally happened. My eyes uncontrollably swelled with liquid, So I reached over to wipe them with a napkin…

I cried, I laughed, and tasted the salty tears that took their time sliding down my cheeks.

I chose to write down what I was feeling Because I’ve been seeking this moment For weeks.

My experience written on paper Looked like a chicken scratched it, But physically and spiritually You were impregnated into me, And I chose to take the time to hatch it.

Now I’m longing to taste that taste again, Panting to feel, once more, Your Gentle Kiss. It only lasted for a few hours, But I’d do anything for a drink Of what was in that measured bliss.

back

Torn.

Between being surrounded by the sound of innocent laughter, or ridding the noise.

Arguing over toys and whose clothing is whose. They’re fussing over “nothing” again.

They made a mistake and ate my hidden snack again. Something “made a mistake” and dropped, again.

I spend my days Stepping over toys in good times, and on toes when disciplining.

I long for silence and peace.

They’re a pain when present, and terribly missed when absent.

In my case, absence doesn’t grow things fonder. It grows things stronger.

Sometimes I need a moment away to pray. A moment away to think. A moment to breathe. A moment to shrink.

And that’s ok.

and forth

I find myself longing for my alone time in the mornings, when it’s just You and I. It helps to recent and refocus so I don’t wild out.

And that’s ok.

Some days I feel overstimulated, and I side eye their father for doing this to me.

Then I remember that they’re more than just children. They’re prized possessions. My quiver thickens.

I have to be reminded that my mission of parenting these souls have a greater meaning. That purpose comes with challenges. I sigh, and suck it up, because I was meant for this.

I’m back on track. Just needed a moment, And that’s ok.

obscured objectives

i trusted in you. i gave you my trust as an example. an example of what life could be. what life could be for my family. my family and i.

and i was ready to follow your footsteps. your footsteps going forward. come to find out, you weren’t. you weren’t stepping forward. you are stepping sideways.

you’re living through side ways. ways our Bible tells us not to. The Bible tells us not to. you’re doing what The Bible tells us not to do. this isn’t right. i tried to tell you to stop doing what not to do they told me to be quiet. they told me not to tell you what not to do i decided to keep quiet. right now, it’s all hidden. it’s all hidden, but Yahuah sees you. He sees you, and He sees it all. He sees it all, and i pray you change. i pray you change, before He tells it all. before He tells it all.

I know you’re watching me. I know you’re clocking my every move.

Yah warned and prepared me. Enjoy the view.

Watch me break every stronghold from my family before me

Watch me forgive all of the souls around me.

Watch me seed my children with truth. I am an open target. Get your broken arrows ready for aim. My shield is ready.

EPHESIANS 6:10-11

2 THESSALONIANS 3:3

JAMES 4:7

TARGET

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Being a parent isn’t easy. To be honest, it sucks Kids are messy, noisy, and sneezy, and taking care of them will cost you all of your bucls

But there’s another side to being a parent, one that is beautiful and full of light. Seeing our children smile brighter than a 14-carat diamond is the biggest blessing to our sight.

So forgive us if we mess up as parents, or sound mean, because we ’ re truly doing the best we can When we are long and gone, our spirits will still be seen, because our children extend our life span

They are an extension of US.

US

The salty tears running down my face are literally for you To see such a strong woman hurts me I know what it means to be a Christian married woman, hurt and stuck in the binding hold of covenant I know what it means to want things to work so badly, that you’ll keep telling yourself that everything is okay -knowing that it’s not You’re trapped in the crosshairs of ministry and marriage. The tug of war between doing what’s good and doing what’s right can deafen anyone’s spiritual ears Won’t God collect each and every tear? I know He will, and has. What can I do? How can I help? I’ll stay late I’ll stick around I’ll cook I’ll help you make your escape plans. I’ll do the research for you: both secularly and spiritually. What does the Word say? Let’s stand on that I’m torn between readily loving you, and righteously judging you. This is becoming harder and harder for me to endure I feel like an accomplice: hiding lies that can hurt so many people. Condoning deceit. Yes, we must give mercy, but what do we do when someone knowingly abuses our mercy? What happens when someone CHOOSES to sin against us? CHOOSES to sin against God? Is that not broken grace? There are too many souls involved, eh? Let me give it time. I’ll take my time. I’ll shower you with love as long as I can I’ll help you as much as I can. I’ll support you as much as I can. I’ll take you as far as I can.

Bo k e n r r G e c a

MATTHEW 7, ENTIRE CHAPTER

JOHN 7, ENTIRE CHAPTER

It’s interesting to see you so opinionated and direct with everyone except for the person who needs it most. He degrades you, diseases you, and doesn’t want you to win. I think you see it I think you know what his game is, yet you continue to play it. Not only do you continue to play it, but you’re playing me. You’re playing me You’re using the kindness in my heart, and the love I’ve developed for you, as an emotional crutch. You know I care, so you play off of my motherly instincts You’re an adult Can’t you see what’s being done to you? I know you see it. You choose to close your eyes to the truth You run from it You hide from it But there’s not a skirt, a new hairstyle, or a trip that can take you far enough from the truth. I love you, so I’m not afraid to tell you the truth The truth is this: you’re in danger. If not with him, then with God. He sees all things, and you think you’re doing the right thing by hiding what’s happening, but you’re not. I’m not telling you to sound the alarm. I’m telling you to make a plan for the best case, and the worse case Then bring both plans to Yahuah, and tell Him that you’re going to do whatever His will is I’m telling you to make certain moves to protect yourself: physically and spiritually. When you allowed me to get dragged under the bus, I knew it was broken grace I helped you as much as I can I let you use me as much as I can. I took you as far as I can.

Without sounding like I’m living a life in incese I have to confess that I’m married to my brother.

My brother in Christ, that is. My children are my sisters. Anyone who does the will of My Father is my spiritual sibling more than any biological dna compound can attest.

My blood type is C, For Christ, that is.

Bloodlines, features, skin tones and similar hair types I get it.

“You look just like her!”

“You laugh just like him!”

I understand.

What I’m saying may be a tough pill to swallow, So get your throat ready for the blow. When it all comes down to the wire, You’ll have a distinct choice to make.

God-kind, or those you grew up with?

Those who will die with you to represent Christ, or those you shared a home with you?

Your crown of glory awaits, along with your other Heavenly treasures, that is, people.

But what people do you think will be up there with you?

Your unsaved granny?

Your blaspheming cousin?

Your atheist husband?

Get a clue.

Spiritually, they can’t do anything for you.

Spiritually, they can’t protect anything from you. The spirit working inside of them actually hates you.

What is there to do?

It’s one thing to pray and pursue their soul

By seeding them with Truth and love.

Seed them, and the Holy Spirit will water their Spirit and make them grow.

My Fatherland is the Most Holy of Holies.

I come from a Government that just doesn’t play around. There’ll come a day when Government Officials start separating The wheat and the tares.

At that point, surnames won’t matter.

But get this - Jesus gave us more than a gist. He showed us that this is the way it has to be. Our Savior’s first round wasn’t to bring peace, But feature righteousness.

Cling to those who are spreading the Kingdom

The same way you are.

Count them as a partner-in-Crown!

Dearest reader, you’re my gem-twin.

When it’s all said and done, Only those truly worth His Crown Will receive it in Heaven.

All others, regardless of surname, Won’t even be received into

p a r t n e r s

Get a clue

Spiritually, they can’t do anything for you

Spiritually, they can’t protect anything from you

The spirit working inside of them actually hates you

What is there to do?

It’s one thing to pray and pursue their soul

By seeding them with Truth and love Seed them, and the Holy Spirit will water their Spirit and make them grow

My Fatherland is the Most Holy of Holies

I come from a Government that just doesn’t play around

There’ll come a day when Government Officials start separating The wheat and the tares

At that point, surnames won’t matter

Hold The Gaze

But get this - Jesus gave us more than a gist

He showed us that this is the way it has to be Our Savior’s first round wasn’t to bring peace, But feature righteousness

Cling to those who are spreading the Kingdom

The same way you are Count them as a partner-in-Crown!

Dearest reader, you ’ re my gem-twin When it’s all said and done, Only those truly worth His Crown Will receive it in Heaven

All others, regardless of surname, Won’t even be received into

about the author

about the author

You can’t please God without faith.

This is why injecting your life with faith is so important.

As a Christian, true faith begins with believing in the Life Ministry Death Burial

and most importantly of The Son Of God, Yahusha ha’Maschiach!

The Resurrection

As a Christian, you know that living a life of sin (against the way God wants us to live) will only lead to death (separation from God’s presence).

As a Believer, you live every day to resisting sinning, aligning life to God’s Word, and accepting the forgiveness gifted by God, to us, through Jesus Christ!

If you believe everything listed above is TRUTH, pray the prayer below and receive your salvation IN FAITH:

Father God, I come to You as My Creator. My spirit belongs to You, and today, I choose to return to You. Today, I confess my sins, and choose to turn away from a life of sin in exchange for the salvation You’ve given me.

Today, I accept Your Son, Jesus, as my Savior. I accept Your Forgiveness. I accept Your Will for my life. I accept Your Holy Spirit. I accept You.

Thank You for accepting me. I declare that I believe and trust in You and Your Son, Jesus Christ. Your Word promises that whoever believes and trusts in Jesus, will not perish but have eternal life. Thank You for granting me eternal life!

Amen!