Open Communication and Trust Building with Children

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Open Communication and Trust Building with Children Children with negative behavior habits and tendencies, such as arguing and disobeying, often use these behaviors as a result of not knowing how to communicate through any other means. Parents can use effective parenting skills to encourage positive changes.

As children move through different emotional, social, and physical changes, the stress that these situations place on children can result in arguing, disobeying, blaming, and poor choices. In response to these actions and attitudes, parents might exert control and pronounce punishments. This does address the issue, but usually will not result in positive changes. These desired positive changes will often develop over time as children learn coping and communication skills from the positive reactions of the parents.

HG Nadel suggests that it should be the goal of the parent to try to determine why the child is acting inappropriately. Even though the behaviors are frustrating, approaching these situations with as much inner strength and outward calm as possible is an effective parenting skill. Once an understanding of the background issue is achieved there are greater chances for open communications.

The first key to addressing these behavior issues is time. Parents need to be willing to spend time letting their children know that they are available as listeners. There need to be many opportunities for positive communications between parents and children, without judgments or criticisms by parents. Parents should give children various openings for conversations, with casual questions or comments included. If children feel they are being interrogated, they might shut down completely and turn again to negative behaviors. Regularly asking for opinions on even simple choices gives children a sense of involvement and value.

As parents become better listeners for their children, trust is built along the way. Parents might be tempted to criticize the thoughts and opinions of children when they don’t understand them or agree with them. It is paramount, however, that children learn that it is safe to share these thoughts. Parents can learn to ask their


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