Height Magazine January 2021

HEIGHT January 2021

Fashion | Lifestyle | Food | Finance | Entertainment | Beauty

Lean into

2021

+ 6

Runway Fashion Styles

EXCLUSIVE!

Actress

KJ SMITH

THE

VERSITILE

VIXEN

Power of Forgiveness

LIFE

Love

After

Deserve an Insightful Photograper?

Contact us at Insight Photography to unleash the extreme passion within! insightphotographynow.com

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CONTENT

42 Life After Love Surviving a Breakup

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54 Runway Trends

No Regrets Mrs Charlene Robbins Speaks

Fashion Wear For Any Occasion

FEATURES

FUN STUFF

12 Health & Beauty

8 Self-Care

Knotty by Nature

22 Lifestyle

Making time for Me, Myself and I

10 Beard Games

Power of Forgiveness

26 Finance

Back to Basics

48 It’s not how you start, its how you finish

Tips to Prepare for Tax Filing Season

Become a Champion

30 Food Reflecting Back, Paying it Forward

36 Fashion

GOOD STUFF

Fashion Models shot by Curtis Lawrence

32 Entertainment KJ Smith

14 Ministry Minute Prayer, Faith and Action

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Height Magazine

KJ

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ORDER HEIGHT MAGAZINE

ISSUES

Height Magazine HEIGHT Magazine is a print and digital publication that is the first and only international online magazine to combine the world of fashion and lifestyle for tall women aimed to elevate the good in others.

Editor -In-Chief Curtis Lawrence Sr.

Senior Editor Marion Nathan Summers

Editing Director Krystal Carr Sancho

West Coast Operations Director Kenneth Friday Creative Director Tricia Milward Chief Finacial Officer Shelton Brown Stylist Tricia Milward Jozette Cooper MUA/Hairstylist Director of Photography Ricky Dixon Writers

Advertise With Us

Lauren Kelley Krystal Carr Sancho Devona Keel

HEIGHT Magazine provides a unique opportunity for advertising as our readers are looking for both engaging and informative content, quality products, and charity-affiliated goods & services. Advertise in our publication to have your products in front of our exclusive base of savvy and optimistic consumers, who are looking for distinctive and specialized products like yours! For rate information, email us at clawrence122003@yahoo.com

Joylette Hilliard Monica Smith Retina Hogue Contributing Writer Tammie Tolbert Jozette Cooper Marketing Director Kenneth L. Nichols Sr.

Subscribe YOU can have your own personal copy of HEIGHT Magazine! Go to our website’s contact page https:// heightmagazine.webstarts.com/ page and fill out your “Subscription Request” today! You’ll be on your way to obtaining exclusive content, products, and services from the illustrious HEIGHT Magazine!

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Graphic Design Kelly Gilbert Social Media Content Director Alexia Taft Public Relations Director Kenneth L. Nichols Sr. Height Magazine

Letters to the Editor: 3340 Robinwood Road STE. 100-517 Gastonia, NC 28054 Attn: Curtis Lawrence www.HeightMag.com clawrence122003@yahoo.com

FROM THE EDITOR Curtis Lawrence Sr., is a native of Gainesville, Florida. Upon graduation from high school he enlisted into the United States Army. He served honorably for 24 years. He toured Germany, Saudi Arabia, and Panama. He retired as one of the top Recruiters in the Raleigh Battalion as On Campus Recruiter for University of North Carolina at Charlotte Army ROTC. Curtis is married to his lovely wife Tonya, a native of Gastonia, North Carolina. Following the birth of his daughter, Curtonia, the realization that he would not be able to share precious memories of her grandmother with her greatly impacted him.

In addition to this he realized he only had a few photos of his mother, and the quality wasn’t the best. Thus, his passion to provide quality photos for his family and others was birthed.

He has since provided quality images for generations to come. His portfolio contains many celebrities, athletes, chefs, ministers, and authors. Yet, he cherishes photos of his daughter, and sons, Curtis Jr, and Marcus, last but not least his four grandchildren the most.

His first booked event was a family member’s wedding, using only a pocket camera The outcome inspired him to pursue and improve his craft. A special thank you to Tracey and Debra for believing in him.

Curtis realized he had an eye and natural talent to create beautiful memories. He developed his talent through mentoring and training with professional photographers.

Today, he is a highly sought after photographer. Through the encouragement and support of family and friends, Curtis founded Insight Photography, Gastonia, N.C., where he provides an array of services such as family portraits, weddings, and private and corporate events.

Curtis inspires himself to focus and go forth, by reciting his favorite quote “ Faith don’t fail me now.” His firm foundation and faith have allowed him to not only become the founder of Insight Photography, but to become editor and chief of HEIGHT Magazine.

Curtis continues to believe in the power of the team, and uplifting his community. He is excited and proud to present this issue, against all odds as it focuses on your total well-being, mind, body, and soul.

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Self- Care: Making Time for Me, Myself and I

by Lauren Kelley

I

t’s quite easy to become consumed with the hustle and bustle of everyday activities. Most of us have busy schedules, stressful jobs, and are exhausted by the use of technolgy used to work and communitate within the pandemic. All of these factors can lead to failure to schedule much needed breaks from our overactive lives. So much time and energy is spent doing things for others that we often neglect the need to care for ourselves. The necessity of self-care is often misunderstood, undervalued and ignored. To maintain a healthy balance between yourself and an increasingly overstimulating world, you must adopt self-care strategies and embrace them in everyday routines to boost your overall well-being.

Self-care is can be confused with self-indulgence.

The self-indulgent mentality views this a luxury rather than a priority; therefore, stimulates feelings of guilt about taking the time required to care for ourselves.

Nonetheless, taking a little “me time” is not selfindulgent; it’s self-preserving. Consistently putting “me time” last on the agenda give reasons to why we can feel drained, agitated, and overwhelmed. Simply put, self-care is about being in tune with what your mind and body needs to function properly.

“What exactly is self-care?” According to medical reviews by Scott and Gans, self-care is defined as, “a multidimensional, multifaceted process of purposeful engagement in strategies that promote healthy functioning and enhanced well-being.” So, what does that mean in everyday terms? Simplistically, self-care is anything that we deliberately do, or refrain from doing, with our own well-being in mind. It is offering ourself the same grace, compassion, and care that we extend to others. Consider the benefits. Setting time aside for yourself can promote physical, mental, and emotional health. There are many facets to self-care. It can include anything from getting adequate sleep at night to stepping outside to take in a little fresh air. Only you can decide what the perfect self-care regimen is for you.

A great way to begin your self-care journey is to create a self-care plan. While planning, be sure to analyze interactions to protect your time, energy, emotions, peace, and self-worth. Write out your intentions and how you propose to achieve them daily. Will your journal? Will you read a new book or try a new dish?

Will you spend time with friends and family or spend time alone? Will you take a bath instead of a shower?

Will you budget to alleviate financial stress?

It can be difficult for some to grasp the idea of putting themselves first, but the necessity of self-care is understood to be essential for individual health and well-being. Being mindful of what you need is just as (if not more) important as meeting the needs of others.

If you are not your best self it is nearly impossible to perform at your best. Take time for yourself. Time to recharge, refresh, and renew your mind, body, and soul. Take advantage of the opportunities to showup, grow-up, and glow-up with all the beauty and uniqueness that is in you.

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BEARD GAME

Back to Basics

by Jozette Cooper

“TO BEARD OR NOT TO BEARD: that is the

question.” Choosing a beard style is a personal decision. If you’re growing a beard for the first time or looking to change up your style, it’s helpful to know what your end game is. Every beard is as unique as a fingerprint.

There are things to keep in mind when growing, maintaining, and styling your beard.

The first rule of “beard” is to understand that facial hair and cranial hair are very different. Beard maintenance falls somewhere between hair care and skin care. You have to take care of the hair growing on your face as well as the skin underneath. It is important to find and use products that are beneficial for both the hair and skin and won’t cause damage to either.

DERRICK J. DENNIS CEO of DZ AFFECT PREMIUM BEARD OILS AIR & EARTH website: dzaffect.com Instagram: @dzaffect

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P

ut me in the Game, Coach”

1st Quarter

2nd Quarter

Growing a beard takes time and patience. The first step is to allow the hair to grow freely and fully for 4 to 6 weeks.

In doing this you will know where and how the hair grows.

WARNING: this process can be ugly. The hair may be patchy, uneven, and underdefined, but please do not forfeit, keep your head in the game. Avoid shaping your beard at this phase, also refrain from manipulating the hairs as much as possible.

If absolutely necessary, trim only the outer area of your beard.

Make sure your wild whiskers are properly washed, conditioned and groomed. It is important for our melanin dominant kings to use beard grooming products that hydrate the facial hair and skin to keep their beards from becoming dry and brittle. An improper care regiment can result in flaking, split ends, and skin irritation. Make sure to use beard oils that contain jojoba, coconut, castor, argan, grapeseed, and sweet almond to keep your hair soft, manageable, and moisturized.

3rd Quarter

4th Quarter

Brush your beard at least 3 times a day. You don’t have to walk around with a brush in your hand; however, you should tame your beard to behave the way you want. For best results, use a 100% boar ‘s hair brush. These hair brushes have a combination of stiff and flexible bristles which allows detangling and keeps the hair in place. This will give your beard a thick and hefty appearance, as it lifts the hair away from the skin.It also removes impurities without being overly abrasive.

They are also good for distributing oils and balms evenly through facial hair.

Once you have survived the 4-6 week phase, it’s time to bring character to your beard. Consider which beard style will flatter the shape of your face. If you are unsure, a barber is a great resource for advice on what will best accentuate the jawline based on the length of your hair.

A beard comb is also a great investment on your journey.

A good beard comb has teeth with smooth edges. Cheap combs have teeth with sharp edges that will cause hair breakage when combing.

For self-maintenance, make sure to have quality tools such as trimmers, clippers, mustache scissors and razors.

Make no mistake about it, the beard game is serious. Make sure your suited up and ready to play, may the best man win.

So let the games… BEGIN!!

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MOOD

ood

From Chemically Treated to Natural Hair

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Health and Beauty

Knotty by NATURE

“I don’t need a relaxer, my hair ain’t stressed out”

T

by Jozette Cooper and Shatavia Winston

he uprising of the natural hair movement over the past decade has encouraged women and men of African descent to celebrate the natural characteristics of their kinky, curly, afro-textured, “knotty” by nature hair. As a result, more women have detoxed from the creamy chemical hair crack we call relaxers and have started transitioning back to their wild roots. While the transition from relaxed to natural hair can be an empowering experience, it can also be a struggle.

Basically, the transition to natural hair means that chemical straighteners or relaxers are no longer used in hair grooming. Not only is natural hair relaxer free, but it is also free of other chemical alterations such as texturizers, dyes, and other processing chemicals. In making the switch from relaxed hair to natural curls, keep in mind the process can be tedious. Every head of hair is different, so while steps to transitioning may seem common, all hair types will not respond the same; yet, the end goal is healthy hair.

The natural hair journey should begin with a consultation from a professional hair stylist. They evaluate the hair and recommend a care plan based on their observations. The two approaches to the natural process includes gradually letting the hair grow until there is no more relaxer or cutting it all off (the big chop) and starting from scratch- in this case, scalp. Growing the relaxer out can be frightful. Heavy breakage or shedding can occurs as the hair grows out and can take up to a year to be completely chemical free. It will be tough, but managing expectations will

help make the stages less frustrating. Choosing the “cut it” approach may be risky, but has its advantages. It allows a fresh start and an immediate opportunity to understand pattern of growth and hair texture.

In the transition phase, it is important to drink plenty of water and keep the hair clean and conditioned. Hair is very fragile at this stage. It is most compromised at the point where the new growth and previously straightened strands meet, hence the heavy breakage. Treating the hair with the right shampoo and conditioner keeps it from drying out and may reduce breakage. The best shampoo options are those that are sulfate free, hydrating, moisturizing, purifying/detoxing, and therapeutic conditioners should moisturize, treat, supply protein, and reconstruct. The number one recommended treatment for hair cleansing is the “Steam Treatment”. It uses moist heat to open hair follicles and lift cuticles of the hair shaft to allow conditioner and treatment to penetrate each strand to allow better absorption of moisture.

In addition, this technique strengthens hair by promoting elasticity which gives the hair a healthier appearance, a softer texture, and more manageability.

To be “Knotty by Nature” is appealing to some, but natural hair care is high maintenance. If the plan is to represent “team natural” get your mind right and your hair goals tight…hair primpin’ ain’t easy. Find the path that is right for you and enjoy your “Nappily Ever After”.

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Prayer

Faith action

By Minister Carenda Deonne

Happy New Year! Congratulations are in order as Grace has allowed you to traverse into the year 2021. For many of us, 2020 will go down in history as one of the most adversarial years ever known. We experienced a series of unconventional circumstances that began with the COVID-19 Global Pandemic that claimed the lives of countless individuals; then mid-year gave rise to Black Lives Matter movements that protested unfair social injustices within the black vs blue rivalry. Lastly, the year ended in national uproar in a relentless political rat race for the White House. To say the least, 2020 was mentally, emotionally, financially and spiritually exhausting. Nonetheless, we persisted in faithbelieving and knowing that “all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28 NKJ).

words through others. Faith believes in the God we commune with and trust in the information that he provides. If we trust in God and the information, then we will put that information into action for a victorious expected end.

Faith alone may have carried us into the new year, but is not enough to sustain us in the days to come. “Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead being alone” (James 2:17 ESV). This passage of scripture suggests that faith coupled with works is necessary to sustain life. Therefore, it is imperative that we plan, set goals, and remain consistent and persistent in purposeful endeavors. Proverbs 10:4 teaches that “Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.” In order to bring about change in situations and circumstances you must remain diligent and disciplined in prayer, faith, and works.

Procrastination produces a cycle of repeated defective behavior that robs you of precious time and hinders growth; which, in turn, leads to debilitation, frustration, and stagnation.

It stifles creative processes which causes a decrease in productivity. Procrastination is an emotional regulation problem that is a result of negative thinking. To experience growth on any level, whether it be physical, mental, financial or spiritual we must self-analyze/self-examine and correct thought patterns not conducive to the anticipated trajectory of our lives.

Prayer offers an opportunity to exchange information with God. When we consult with Him, He will in turn give us remedies and strategies through thoughts, ideas, or spoken

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Oftentimes we allow our feelings to dictate our actions. When there is a lack of disciple or self-control in our work systems we habitually avoid tasks by putting them off for a later time (procrastination). The problem with that is we could possibly forfeit “blessings”, peace, or personal gain. In addition we affectively forecast or predict how we will feel in the future.

If there were a chief lesson to be learned from year 2020 it would be “don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today”; tomorrow may not be only a day away. In others words, there is no guarantee that tomorrow is available to you.

The freshness of a new year has afforded an opportunity to begin again. So, make time to self- evaluate, devise a plan, and set attainable goals. Be diligent in prayer, in faith, and in action to achieve your desired destiny.

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Where do we go from here?

The loss of a loved one

by Joylette Hilliard

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he loss of a loved one is the most stressful event one can experience in life. Coping with a loss is a great challenge and has the potential to cause a major emotional crisis. The process associated with a loss is referred to as bereavement, which literally means “to be deprived by death” Although death is inevitable, it does not lessen the blow to the heart when you and someone you love no longer share the same space in time. Brandie Meeks shares her journey of bereavement through the loss of her beloved daughter, Destiny.

MY DESTINY My Destiny was a wild child from day one. She was a go-getter; whatever she did, she gave it her all. She loved people and often demonstrated it through mentoring youth and in sincerely rooting for the success of others.

She was self-motivated and fiercely independent. For example, when she applied to college, she withdrew the opportunity to be swayed in choosing an institution. So, she made her decision, filled out her application, and later informed us of her choices. She was an extremely hard worker. During her senior year at N.C.A &T State University, she worked two jobs and attended summer school.

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Destiny was scheduled to graduate on December 2014, with a Bachelor’s degree in Sports Science.

THE DAY MY LIFE CHANGED, FOREVER June 27, 2017 was a normal day for Destiny and I. While I was on lunch break she called for some advice. During our conversation, my mother happen to call me and I conferenced her in. The three of us had the best time talking and laughing. It reminded me of the days when it was just the three of us.

The rest of the day seemed as normal as any other. Until, I was awakened around 2:00 am with a phone call from Destiny’s boyfriend. He was concerned because she was scheduled to get off from work at 12:00 am and hadn’t made it home nor was she answering her phone. We discovered that Destiny had agreed to work an extra hour and concluded that may have been a cause for delay; however, I felt uneasy. I attempted a call, but there was no answer. I invited my mother to my house to stay with the other children as we prepared to go out and search for Destiny.

While preparing to leave the house, I suddenly felt a gutwrenching blow that caused me to fall to the floor. By that time my mother was there to comfort me and encouraged

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me to “get it together”.

As we’re riding, I made several call attempts to Destiny and still no answer. Then, my phone rang. It was a Highway Patrolman asking for Destiny. I informed him that I was her Mother. He proceeded to tell me that my child had been killed in an accident. At that very moment, everything went hazy. My husband and I pulled to the shoulder of the road and sat in silence. After sitting for what felt like eternity, we drove to the next exit and pulled into a gas station. The overwhelming shock of grief brought an all-consuming numbness to my body. The unbearable weight of death caused my husband’s knees to buckle causing him to fall to the ground.

It’s now sunrise, the car was in motion, yet I was paralyzed. I consult with God on the eternal well-being of my Destiny asking “God, where is my child?” “ I am concerned for her soul, where will she spend eternity?”

Through the silent but roaring vibrations that death brings …I entered the morgue, I see my baby, I touch my baby, and at that moment I realized this was not a dream, this was my reality.

MY HEALING JOURNEY I could sense God’s presence assuring me that GRACE had been extended to my daughter. That assurance began the processes of my healing. From that day on I was solely dependent upon God’s instruction to get me through the tough times. I extended forgiveness to the persons responsible to ensure not to stifle the progression of my healing. I took solace in knowing that others can live on through the donor process. I also take comfort in knowing that Destiny was, is, and will always be a light.

MAINTAINING PEACE I often reflect on memories of my daughter. I was a young parent when she was born, but I did not allow my age to dictate the quality of care that I gave her. We had a very loving relationship, she was my daughter and my friend.

I spent time with her and gave her everything that was within me to give. We created enough memories to last a lifetime. Every moment that I spent with her was cherished. This journey has taught me to live purposely, intentionally, and gratefully. Don’t get me wrong, I have my days when things aren’t so graceful. But I know, it’s okay to not be okay. So I cry, I laugh, I hurt, and I heal.

ADVICE Everyone in some capacity will be affected by a death. The processes will be different for each individual person as grieving is a highly individual experience. No one can tell you how to grieve or when they think your grieving process has run its course. That is up to you to decide. The grieving process takes time. Get in tune with yourself and know what it is that you need to heal. If you are feeling stuck and are not able to grieve properly, seek the help of a therapist, counselor, grief recovery specialist, or the like. Whatever your grief experience, it’s very important to be patient with yourself and allow the process to naturally unfold.

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BIG BAG

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ALL SWAG

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To err is human, but to forgive is devine�

Alexander Pope

Lifestyle

POWER OF FORGIVENESS

by Ashley Bronkie-Kight

F

orgiveness is generally defined by psychologists as “a conscious deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you regardless of whether they actually deserve it.”~ Berkeley Edu.

Forgiveness can mean different things to different people.

No matter how varied the definitions, the act of forgiving is one of the most challenging, yet most liberating feelings that we can experience. Forgiveness brings with it a peace of mind as it frees the forgiver from corrosive anger and unyielding bitterness. True forgiveness does not erase an occurrence or a consequence, nor does it condone or excuse an offence. It simply empowers you to recognize the anguish caused by an injury without allowing the pain to dictate your behavior or stifle positive progression in your life.

On the contrary, failing to forgive can be damaging to your mental and physical health. It can impact communication skills, thinking abilities, and decision making abilities.

Unaddressed and delayed negative emotions can ultimately lead to depression, anxiety, short-temperament, and sleeplessness. In other words, harboring unforgiveness can leave you wounded and stagnant. Sometimes, people who have been emotionally damaged and have not expressed their feelings or resolved their pain, are vulnerable to hurting others. Hence the old adage, “hurt people hurt people.”

The idea of forgiveness may seem simple; however, it can be a very emotional and complex process, especially for trauma

survivors. Many victims may feel the pressures to forgive when they are told that their healing depends on it. Forgiving an abuser or a neglectful bystander is a very personal decision and victims should never be pressured to do so.

Many people who have been victimized wrongfully hold themselves responsible for their offenders actions. They trudge through life carrying the burdens of self-blame and shame on their shoulders. They hold themselves hostage by refuting to forgive themselves when in reality there is nothing to forgive themselves for.

The act that hurt or offended you may always be a part of your story, but extending forgiveness can lessen the effects and free you from the control of the person or persons that harmed you. Ghandi said “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.” You are strong. Strong enough to acknowledge your pain, strong enough to forgive yourself, and strong enough to forgive others. Life is intended to be a constant cycle of growth and evolution. The ill actions of others towards you should not be permitted to interrupt your innate ability to expand and mature. When we practice the art of forgiveness individually, we recognize that we all have caused others hurt and harm in some capacity. It is inevitable in this human realm; however, forgiveness sees wisely. It willingly acknowledges what is unjust, harmful, and wrong then it bravely releases mercy towards the undeserving.

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Tips to Prepare for Tax-Filing Season

As the start of a new year in ushered in, it is a good idea to start thinking about how to handle federal and state tax returns. The IRS begins accepting 2020 returns on Jan. 27, 2021. Even if financial situations are simple and straightforward, it pays to make sure to be up-to-date and actively working to reduce tax bills, thus reducing anxieties associated with tax seasons.

DOUBLE CHECK YOUR PAYCHECK If an insufficient amount of taxes are deducted from your paycheck, it’s a possibility to be required to invest a little more into Uncle Sam at tax time. If your contribution is excessive, a refund is the rewards — but, maybe a little money in your pocket every week is more sufficient than an annual repayment.

DECIDE WHO WILL PREPARE AND FILE YOUR TAXES If major changes occurred in 2020 —marriage, divorce, or business startup—taxes may be more complicated and time consuming. As a result, the need to hire a CPA or other tax professional to prepare and file your taxes may be necessary.

Make provisions and decisions early on. Waiting until April could mean penalties.

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Shelton Brown, CPA, MBA Chief Executive Officer ACTHR

Finance

SHIELD YOURSELF FROM TAX SCAMS AND FRAUDS

MAKE SURE BENEFITS DESIGNATIONS ARE UP-TO-DATE

CONSIDER “BUNCHING” DEDUCTIONS

As tax season approaches, many people start receiving phone calls, emails and text messages from entities claiming to be the IRS. The most important thing is to disregard telephone calls or emails from those who pretend to be the IRS or the U.S. Treasury, governmental organizational entities such as these will send mailed correspondence rather than make direct phone contact, unless litigation is in order.

Beneficiary designations won’t affect taxes as of right now, but they will affect the taxes of heirs in the future.

The standard deductions are nearly double what they were in times past, making it hard to itemize. The 2020 deductions are: $12,400 for individuals, $18,650 for heads of household, and $24,800 for married couples filing jointly.

Taxpayers who don’t have enough deductions to surpass those thresholds take their standard deduction.

I warn against “shopping a refund” to find a preparer who promises a bigger refund. The tax preparer who makes that promise is likely to be unscrupulous and can cause trouble for both parties.

The end of the year is a great time to review beneficiaries and make any changes that are needed.

Why is that important? Down the road, it will help minimize the taxes beneficiaries and heirs pay on assets after a death.

“Bunching” deductions is recommended to exceed the thresholds, if possible.

Bunching is when timed expenses are pushed into the same calendar year as deductible expenses. This can be achieved by moving certain deductions, such as charity donations, or prepaying January’s mortgage payment forward in the current year.

DON’T IGNORE THE IRS! Taxpayers that don’t file returns and owe taxes, or that file but don’t pay taxes on time are at risk for serious penalties. The IRS can seize assets if necessary.

If the IRS has been sending you letters due to errors on a return or claim back taxes are owed, respond in writing — and don’t delay!

If correspondence is not received to IRS; it’s a loss, as simple as that. The IRS has strong lien and levy powers. Don’t be surprised if wages are garnished or a lien is ordered at a residence. It is very important to respond to all notices in a timely manner to avoid any mishaps.

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Eric and Dena Brice 294 Beatty Dr Belmont NC 28012

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Tiffany Dunn, Broker/Realtor Licensed in NC and SC Mathers Realty 11535 Carmel Commons Blvd #102 Charlotte, NC 28226 980-999-1107 dunndeal@mathersrealty.com

Living in the Carolinas Why Wait?

The housing market has remained strong during this pandemic. While safety measures and precautions continue to be a priority, the dream of home ownership is becoming real every day. With interest rates being at historical lows, consumers are taking advantage of increased buying power in the real estate market. The demand for homes and low inventory creates the perfect scenario for sellers to benefit as well.

Contact Tiffany Dunn Experience The “Dunn Deal�!

980-999-1107, dunndeal@mathersrealty.com

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FOOD

Chef Monica

Reflecting Back, Paying It Forward

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n all its eventfulness, 2020 was a year of turmoil and loss for many people. The pandemic claimed a remarkable number of human lives and ,singlehandedly, paused life as we knew it. It forced celebrations, holiday gatherings, and schooling either into Zoom or out of existence. As people looked back on the timelines of their personal stories they found social arrythmias at the heart of their once normal life.

Though the year was unusually difficult, good things did happen. Out of quarantine came creativity, bonus time with family, and an opportunity to exercise faith.

The gift of time was delivered as the entire world stood still. There was time to reflect, time to bond, and time to appreciate the little things. Before the pandemic “we spent much time getting ready to live but never really lived”. This era afforded many the opportunity to live in the “present” and to reshape the frayed fibers of life.

Within the struggle of joy and pain, isolation interrupted our regularly scheduled programs and produced a boredom that prompted some people to exercise their creative genius while it hindered others to wallow in their idleness. The idea of going out to eat was literally “off the table”. Those with a healthy consciousness prepared well-balanced meals and maintained active lifestyles. On the contrary, some slipped into an unhealthy mindset and their eating habits were reduced to binging snacks and other foods that lacked nutritional value.

With that being said, let’s work on the one thing that can be controlled. Our eating habits! Out with the old; goodbye 2020, in with the new ;hello 2021. As we

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embark upon a new year, we set new goals and establish productive behavioral patterns. I promote the concept of #Eat2Livelonger and encourage families back to the table. In an effort to assist in you in creating a sustainable nutritional lifestyle I have listed a few classic tips from Chef Monica’s Kitchen: 1.

Consult with your doctor to discover specific health needs. This is to insure a safe and healthy plan that aligns with your needs.

2.

Get active and be a healthy weight.Exercise and other physical activities may help reduce the risk of getting serious health conditions. It is also important for overall health and well-being.

3.

Choose a reasonable eating pattern. Pay attention to the foods that you eat. Develop and maintain an eating schedule.

4.

Eat more farm-to-fork. This means indulging in foods that comes directly from a farm. Farm to fork sourcing guarantees the freshest most in-season bite of food possible.

5.

Be an active participant in your health journey!

Visit https://chefmonicablends.com/ to explore savory spices that you and your family will love Chef Monica

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“

“

Fiercer than a roaring lioness!

More beautiful than a lotus’ blossom !

Able to leap state borders at a single bound!

Look! Up at the screen!

It’s Andi Barnes (Sistas) It’s Nichole Wright (The Available Wife) It’s KJ Smith

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Entertainment

Poised in perfection, like the bosstress she is, KJ Smith uses her superpower to captivate audiences as she dominates the film industry in every role that she takes on.

KJ

Breaking News

THE DOPE DIVA STRIKES AGAIN

by Krystal Carr Sancho

B

orn and raised in the “small city, big town” of Tallahassee, Florida, Khaneshia JaNea “KJ” Smith crossed intersections of education and journeyed through winding career paths before ultimately discovering the yellow brick road that led to her Emerald City. “I took the long way around”, Smith expressed. “I attended college and got into business marketing, then real estate; after that I went to graduate school. I tried everything, I worked in every department, I interned everywhere, I had all the jobs… and finally, I became an actress.”

KJ Smith came from humble beginnings. She recalls an amazing childhood filled with life, love, and laughter.

“Everything was amazing when I was a child”, she says giddily, “My parents are the most delightful people you could ever meet. They hold so much joy in their hearts and are always so gleeful.” It was this loving and supporting foundation that aided Smith to reach for the stars after little satisfaction was achieved in her many career endeavors. “I tried so many things and I was miserable,” she says while rolling her eyes. “I realized these jobs were hard and at that point I declared that if I was going to do something hard, I’m going to do what I want and do what I love.” That self-proclamation was the small spark that caused a great flame to arise.

Filled with the fiery drive of ambition, KJ decided to take a leap of faith and break away from the people she loved, the place she grew-up, and things she knew .

“Mom, I want to move to California!”, Smith said passionately.

Mom responds, “then California is the place you should be”.

So she loaded up the car and she moved to Angeles… Los that is, swimming pools, movie stars.

The transition from Tallahassee, Florida to Los Angeles, California was no easy feat for this sweet southern belle. “It

was a whole culture shock,” says Smith. “This was my first home away experience. There were cultures that I never knew existed. It was a melting pot of people and I wasn’t use to that at all, so I had to study and learn the culture.”

There were many adjustments and adaptations made in the shift from sweet home Tallahassee to bright lights, big city Los Angeles. “Health was huge in L.A. at the time and that was really different compared to where I was from,” Smith says. “I mean I could eat fried chicken, cornbread, greens every day and be fine.” Not only were there alterations to eating habits, other down home habits had to change as well. “I was really naïve,” says Smith giving a little giggle. “My car was broken into three times. I was accustomed to leaving my doors unlocked, walking into a store, and come back to everything intact… Not in L.A.” Although the forward motion caused KJ to turn some learning curves, she definitely feels that it was the best decision she could have ever made. She set the destination, followed the course, and did not allow anything or anyone to re-route her. “When people tell you it’s too late, don’t believe them,” she forcefully stated. “It’s absolutely never too late. I changed the trajectory of my life with one decision and I’ll never go back.”

As a result of that decision, KJ is referred to as one of Hollywood’s multifaceted rising stars. Every role that she takes differs from the other just as her appearance. She is said to be the ultimate chameleon when it comes to her looks and characters she portrays.

KJ made her acting debut in 2010 making cameo appearances in comedy shows and several other projects including Conan, Real Husbands of Hollywood, Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Survivor’s Remorse, It’s Sunny in Philadelphia, Jacked Up, Black Boots, Lethal Weapon, and Nickelodeon’s Nicky, Ricky, Dicky, and Dawn .

Smith is known to portray strong female characters

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such as Kori Rucks in Dynasty; Angela in Fosters; Sasha Duncan in The Family Business; Dr. Monica McKnight in The Therapist and Detective Karla Rolvaag in Skinny Dip. In 2016 she secured a breakthrough role in the drama series Queen Sugar with recurring character, Ava Duvernay.

As her career continued to blossom, she later guest starred on shows Being Mary Jane, Saints & Sinners, NCIS: Los Angeles and Black-ish. Smith established a number of recurring roles in sitcom Family Time; and drama series The Fix. Films included on her resume are A Madea Family Funeral and Netflix’s Fatal Affair.

Life seemed to be a bed of roses for the budding actress and became even sweeter as the days went by. In a leading role on the BET comedy drama series, Sistas, Smith portrays high powered attorney, Andi Barnes, who seems to have it all together, but when it comes to love; some may say “it’s complicated.”

Her first film lead role in most recent drama film ,The Available Wife, released August 22, 2020 on Urban Movie Channel (UMC) ,which is now allblk, features Smith as the beautiful and successful music CEO, Nicole Wright, who has built her music empire on the backs of deception and lies, stands by as her dirty little secrets are uncovered by the company that she keeps.

Personalities Andie and Nichole are the two characters in which Smith parallels her true identity. “Andie is more vulnerable in love,” she says. “She is how I feel romantically and as a friend. I’m down for my friends in the same way that she is.” She continued in her comparison, “Nichole is a woman that had to do what she had to do to get what she wanted,” she explained. “With that same mentality, there were a lot of things that I had to sacrificed to be an actress.”

KJ identifies her family and all black women that paved the way for her as influential proprietors. She is definitely a legend in the making.

Although the Dope Diva has yet to find that one iconic, legendary masterpiece she is determined to keep acting it out until it happens.

“I don’t know what it will look like until I’m there”, she assured. “But I know it is going to happen.” #teamkjallday

KJ DOPE DIVA...OUT

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Say What! It’s Vegan?

Chef Joya

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Chef Alisha Pierri

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Life After Love

by Tricia Millward

Y hard to do.

ou’re fired” is a phrase that no one wants to hear in any capacity.

Whether it be termination of employment or the expiry of an intimate relationship; it’s been well established that breaking up is

A new relationship is usually a lot of fun in the beginning. It can even be somewhat of a euphoric experience. Your Boo or Bae may initially treat you to candlelight dinners, exotic vacations, and give thoughtful gifts. However, over time the feelings of romantic bliss begin to fizzle as you discover that this once kindred spirit is in fact the devil that wears Prada… ”Baby, we need to talk.”

Breakups can shake your very foundation and cause you to question not only your confidence, but also your faith in L.O.V.E itself. In a cultural climate that emphasizes “black love” and “relationship goals” defined by a “couple of forevers”, we may feel like an ending is a complete and utter failure. In reality, breakups are often the shattering preamble to a new-and-improved life; an opportunity for self-reinvention. David Icke states that “life constantly presents the greatest opportunities disguised as the biggest disasters”. With the right tools, we can turn implosion into improvement. Here are a few ways to live your best life after a love has gone.

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1. Grieve. Heal. Forgive- Processing your feelings after a break up is a journey in itself. It may be categorized as a significant emotional loss and grieved almost like you would a death.

Acknowledge the validity of your feelings, “it’s okay not to be okay”. However, do not remain in a consistent state of sadness.

Forgive yourself and others for the mistakes made in the relationship then allow yourself time to mourn then move on.

2. Control, Alternate, and Delete- “Reclaiming my time!”… Take back control of your life. Don’t waste any more time crying over spilled milk, or in this case a failed relationship. Alternate or switch up your routine. Try new things, explore new places. This may also include writing out a new set of goals or revisiting previous ones to reinvigorate your passions. Delete all of your ex’s contact information to lessen temptations to call or connect.

Deletion also includes purging social media. Scrolling through old photos or stalking your ex’s Facebook and Instagram can be hazardous to your health.

3. Connect With Friends- After a breakup, you may not feel like yourself, so utilize as many distractions as possible. Make plans with friends who make you feel like the best version of yourself as you navigate through emotional highs and lows.

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4. Do What You Love- Oftentimes in relationships we neglect some of our favorite activities. Now that the relationship has ended it’s time to get back to reading, exercising, meditating, dancing or whatever it was that you loved to do before the relationship bandit stole your zeal.

Geoffrey Chaucer believed that “all good things must come to an end.” Whatever opinion you form with that statement is solely up to you; however, one thing is for certain… whether it be good or bad, all things will eventually end. Consequently, it’s up to us to begin again.

5. Keep it Moving- Investing in your mental and physical well-being is key to a healthy mind and heart especially after a breakup. Take care of your body by making healthier food choices and engaging in routine physical activities. Meditation and yoga is a great way to cleanse the mind.

Introspection and reflections allows opportunity for healing from past hurt and trauma.

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Coping During The Holidays

by Dr. Michelle Harris

Dealing with an ever present pandemic during the holidays can be tough to process.

5.

Utilize your support system. If you reside alone or feel alone, be sure to connect someone you trust.

There are also several 24 hour hotlines that allow you to speak with a live person if you are in need of support. Develop new connections by researching support groups in the local area.

6.

Maintain an attitude of gratitude. Whenever negative thoughts try to overtake your mind, begin to shift your focus and your perspective. Many times, a gratitude journal will help you shift your thinking to a more positive perspective.

7.

Relax and release. It may be difficult, lonely, and stressful during these times but be sure to increase self-care to maintain a healthy balance. If anxious feelings do arise, talk with a trusted friend or counselor, indulge in calming activities (take bubble bath, listen to favorite music, or read a good book).

8.

Goal planning. Use this time to set goals and clear that to do list.

Questions swirl around in your head as you inwardly ask yourself: Should I visit with my family?

If so, should I test for COVID- 19 before I attend? What precautionary measures should take?

Questions such as these and more may arise during family focused times of year when receiving and giving joy to those you love is the central theme. We take time to reflect and cherish those precious moments and vow to longer take life for granted.

With uncertainties so prevalent during these times, creating space and time during the holiday seasons may seem impossible.

I would like to offer a few creative tips to help you adapt to the “unusuals� this season

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1.

Break the normal dinner routine. Think of a new dish that you can create during this time with your family and have fun.

2.

Schedule virtual visits. If you are not physically able to be with family, scheduled a virtual meeting to play games, share a meals, and have meaningful conversations.

3.

Design special gifts. Some loved ones may be confined to hospitals or homes that limit visitation, find a creative way to reach their hearts. Design a special gift to show them that you love them.

4.

Celebrate those who have passed away. Dealing with the grief of a loss during this time is extremely difficult. Families and friends are not able to gather and offer support as done with traditional memorials. This is a perfect opportunity to research and discover new ways to celebrate their beautiful life.

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I hope that even in a pandemic, you are able to celebrate life in a whole new way to create lasting memories! Stay safe and stay healthy!

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No Regrets

by Krystal Carr Sancho

embarrassment, shame, or remorse; I decided that I did not want to participate in any of that.”

The tenacity that Robbins presented was formidable.

Her ability to weather the sequestered storms of life is a perfect example of grace under fire. “I was raised by my grandmother,” she says. “She was strong, independent, and determined; it was by her example that I learned to persevere through hardships by doing what I had to do.”

Charlene made sure that regret would not be a character in her story. When asked if she regretted anything in her life, she confidently responded, “No, I do not regret anything.” “Life happens,” she continued, “ of course, there are many things that I feel that I could have done differently; however, I believe that when faced with adverse circumstances, make the best of it.”

M

iriam Webster defines regret as “an expression of distressing emotion (such as sorrow) aroused by circumstances beyond one’s control or power to repair.” Although this description offers an educable explanation for regret, no one really understand it until they’ve lived with it, known someone who has, or have done their very best to avoid it.

Charlene Robbins, a PhD candidate at Regent University, sat with Height Magazine representatives to offer perspectives on regret through experiences in her personal journey. Robbins describes certain courses in her life as tumultuous. She distinctively noted two occurrences; the absence of her mother at the age of thirteen and her induction into single motherhood (of twins) at the age of fifteen. On the surface, it seemed the odds were stacked against her; however, she refuted statistical negativism and overcame challenges.

“Most people would define regret as feeling guilty or sorrowful after experiencing aversive consequences for a particular decision or a specific action,” Robbins expressed. “Regret can present itself as

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We can certainly agree that she has not only turned lemons into lemonade, but has also developed a blue print for a lemonade empire. Her accomplishments include graduating high school class of 1990 (on time and in spite of mothering twins); earning a number of degrees, Associate’s in General Education, Bachelor’s in Religious Studies, Master’s in Divinity, and most recently she is in candidacy for a Doctorate of Philosophy (PhD).

Consequently, Robbins’ accomplishments extend far beyond the lecture hall experience. Her most cherished accomplishment is when she became a Christian. “I was not in church most of my childhood,” explains Robbins, “but, I believe that God was guiding my footsteps throughout my life.”

Charlene Robbins has taught us that if we persevere through the challenges that life may take us through that “we can use these circumstances to motivate us to make better choices in the future.” If we follow that same creed, “At the end of the day, let there be no excuses, no explanations, and no regrets”.~ Steve Maraboli

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“

Champions aren’t born, they are made.”

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IT’S NOT HOW YOU START It’s How You Finish

by Maya Feemster-Jones Life Coach

T

he induction of a new year promotes a number of insurmountable goals categorized as New Year’s Resolutions. The first few weeks of the new year people are often overzealous with intentions to lose weight, eat healthier, exercise, or change undesired behavior. The problem with these resolutions is that there is rarely ever follow through. As a certified Executive Coach, I challenge you to not only remain committed to achieving superficial goals, but also employ to resolve inwardly. Intrinsic goals address the inner most parts that house emotional instabilities which often manifest as selfsabotaging behaviors.

Do you have goals that have yet to be accomplished? Are you experiencing dilemma? Do you continue in the same cyclic behavior? If so, I encourage you to explore therapy, coaching, or a combination of both; commit yourself to healing for the afforded opportunity to experience a higher level of fulfillment in life. Champions aren’t born, they are made. They submit themselves to rigorous training and learn to navigate obstacles to achieve a desired outcome.

Consider the race of the tortoise and the hare, it’s easy to assume the winner based on physical characteristics and inherent capabilities. However, consistency and determination will yield an outcome different than most would suspect. A win feels good, but the processes that lead to victory are not always pleasant.

Even the best of us have mental hardships and maladaptive behaviors to overcome. For example, Dr. Maya Angelou, born Marguerite Annie Johnson was assaulted at the age of 8.

After her named assailant was found dead, she refused to speak for nearly 5 years. Later on, Maya Angelou defied the odds and partook in the arts of song and dance. However, she is most notable for her work as a world-renowned poet, speaker, lecturer & writer. Absent a formal education from an institution of higher learning, she created a life she desired being committed to a cause against the victim mentality.

Imagine if she would have maintained her silence, then we would never Know Why the Caged Bird Sings.

This story is one of many victories in which an aversive starting point did not dictate a profitable end, but represents a powerful exploration of what could happen when committed to a process. A reward never specifies the number of attempts, it’s simply evidence of an accomplishment. I believe that a winner lives within each of us. Whether or not one experiences a successive win begins with a decision to remain constant. Intentions are great; however, when coupled with accountability, are a proven remedy for success. No matter the goal, taking the necessary actions and remaining accountable will aid in a favorable conclusion. Remember…it’s not how you start but how you finish, and winners finish well!

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In 2020 Chef Nikki published her first cookbook, Xtra Sugar. The chef shares her delicious, one of a kind recipes and also shares a little about herself.

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Take a visit to YouTube and watch Xtra Sugar, Cooking in the Kitchen with Nikki. Hangout with Chef Nikki and special guests as they cook it up.

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Fashion

Runway Trends

Charlotte Seen Nov|2020

SUMMER November | 2020 STYLE

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SKINPLAY Clea ns e | R epair | Illu mina t e| Mois t u r ize

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