Readers Digest - 35 Secrets your doctor would never share until now, 1.5.2009

35 Secrets your doctor would never share untill now | Reader's Digest Australia

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35 Secrets your doctor would never share untill now Reader’s Digest offered a group of doctors a chance to tell it like it really is, and GPs, surgeons, psychiatrists, obstetricians and other specialists took the challenge. Some wanted to be anonymous; some didn’t care.

But all of them revealed funny, frightening or downright shocking things that can help you be a better, smarter patient.

From Reader's Digest Interactive

Annoying Patients I am utterly tired of being your mother. Every time I see you, I have to say the obligatory, "You need to lose some weight." But you swear you "don't eat anything" or "the weight just doesn't come off", and the subject is dropped.

Then you come in here complaining about your knees hurting, or how your back is killing you, your feet ache, and you can't breathe when you walk up half a flight of stairs. So I'm supposed to hold your hand and talk you into backing away from those biscuits. Boy, do I get tired of repeating the stuff most patients just don't listen to.

Cardiologist I'm infuriated by patients who book an appointment because they "just need a script" and it is an entirely new problem that they have researched on the internet and self-diagnosed and feel they know how to treat it and are 48 reluctant to go through history, exam and diagnosis with the doctor.

GP, Adelaide In all the books usually written by people who have never had children, they say go in with a birth plan. It's the biggest load of rubbish. If you're having your first baby you can't know what you'll really want. I've had people saying no matter what, they don't want pain relief. That just tells me you're a first-timer and have never done it before. No-one will do anything to you that you don't want – if they do it could be assault.

Dr Gino Pecoraro, obstetrician, Brisbane I am always perplexed by the slow speed of undressing that goes on at the doctor's. I sometimes feel like I am trapped in a bizarre pensioner striptease show.

Dr Tim Cunningham, family practitioner, Whangarei, NZ One of the things that bugs me is people who leave their mobile phones on. I'm running on a very tight schedule, and I want to spend as much time with patients as I possibly can. Use that time to get the information and the process you need. Please don't answer the call.

Dr James Dillard, pain specialist So let me get this straight: you want a referral to three specialists, an MRI, the medication you saw on TV, and an extra hour for this visit. Gotcha. Do you want fries with that?

Dr Douglas Farrago, GP I used to have my secretary page me after I had spent five minutes in the room with a difficult or overly chatty patient. Then I'd run out, saying, "Oh, I have an emergency."

Oncologist Many patients assume that female doctors are nurses or therapists. I can't tell you how often I've introduced myself as Dr M, then been called a nurse, therapist or aide and asked to fetch coffee or perform other similar tasks. I have great respect for our nurses and other healthcare personnel and the work they do, but this doesn't seem to happen to my male colleagues.

Physical medicine and rehabilitation doctor The most unsettling thing for a doctor is when the patient doesn't trust you or believe you.

Obstetrician-gynaecologist I know that Reader's Digest recommends bringing in a list of all your symptoms, but every time you do, it only reinforces my desire to quit this profession.

Dr Douglas Farrago, GP Asking me at the shops about your rash or discharge probably isn't the most

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35 Secrets your doctor would never share untill now | Reader's Digest Australia

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appropriate thing to do.

Dr Douglas Farrago, GP

Pills, Pills, Pills Prescribing Information (PI) is a glorified escape clause. It is the drug company's long-winded way of saying, "I told you so." It's there to protect them – not you.

Dr Ron Elisha, GP, Melbourne Sometimes it's easier for a doctor to write a prescription for a medicine than to explain why the patient does not need it.

Cardiologist Those so-called free medication samples of the newest and most expensive drugs may not be the best or safest.

Internal medicine specialist Hospitals want doctors to send patients home faster, so some doctors are given bonuses for getting their patients out of the hospital quickly.

Dr Evan Levine

Bills, Bills, Bills Some patients baulk at you billing them privately – ie, them having to pay a gap – but are happy to pay hundreds of dollars for a variety of quack consultations that they will happily tell you about, such as electroacupuncture devices, homoeopathic medicine, live blood analysis, colonic irrigation and so on.

GP, Adelaide Patients who question the fact that you charge a fee are annoying. Would they tell their plumber that they are a pensioner and cannot pay? Would they expect a relative to study for 15 years and reap no financial reward?

Dr Paul Bannon, cardiac surgeon, Sydney GPs are not paid by Medicare for phoning around and getting a timely appointment for a patient with a specialist. However, if that patient's health is compromised by not getting an early appointment, you are liable. It can take an hour of your time, but this time is not rebateable by Medicare.

GP, Adelaide

Medical Advice Spiders are cool. Patients blame everything from eczema to ulcers on mythical arachnids. The poor maligned creatures are accused of causing every unexplained skin phenomenon. Yet when you ask the patient to produce the offending creature which magically managed to crawl under their bedclothes and "bite" them on one half of the midriff (shingles), they never can.

Dr Peter Rankin, GP, Vic Some people feel if they bring a child into the room while they're having a dental procedure it will make a child a better patient. We keep our instruments below the patient's sight line, but the child will see everything. As well as a fairly stressed patient, it's a negative. Bring them along for a check-up, but don't bring them in saying that "if you don't clean your teeth you will end up having an awful filling like this".

Dr John Matthews, dentist, Melbourne You don't need to describe every symptom of a cold in graphic detail. You may be fascinated by the chronology of your or your beloved offspring's symptoms but guess what – fever, runny nose, sore throat and cough are what half of the punters that day have. It's a cold.

Dr Peter Rankin, GP, Vic Often the biggest names – the department chairmen – are not the best clinicians, because they spend most of their time being administrators. They no longer primarily focus on taking care of patients. Heart surgeon

The Darker side It's pretty common for doctors to talk about their patients and make judgments, particularly about their appearance.

Family doctor Patients just don't take enough responsibility for how their bodies are. They will wait until there is a problem and they want something done about it right now. If you can't, it's the health professional's fault.

Dr Patrick Sim, chiropractor, Adelaide Doctors are only interested in whether they are inconvenienced – most don't care if you have to wait for them.

Family doctor At least a third of what doctors decide is fairly arbitrary.

Heart surgeon In many ways, doctors are held to an unrealistic standard. We are never, ever allowed to make a mistake. I don't know anybody who can live that way.

Dr James Dillard, pain specialist Patients often have to wait a long time – it's not because we don't think you're important or don't care about you, but we are looking after people who are potentially sicker than you are. And though we're doing our very, very best and

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35 Secrets your doctor would never share untill now | Reader's Digest Australia

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want to be as alert as we can, the reality is at 3am it doesn't matter how much sleep you had during the day, you're still likely to be tired.

Dr Alex Markwell, emergency registrar, Brisbane "Super-clinics", like superheroes, are the stuff of comic books. One can only hope that the Rudd government recognises this before we end up with a health system that looks like something out of Gotham City.

Dr Ron Elisha, GP, Melbourne In most branches of medicine, we commonly deal with old people. So we become much more enthusiastic when a young person comes along. We have more in common with and are more attracted to him or her. Doctors have a limited amount of time, so the younger and more attractive you are, the more likely you are to get more of our time.

Family doctor

The sensitive side People who come in for the first time with no idea what they could be facing are usually cheerful, trying to be positive, and when they leave the room the despair is often written all over their faces. More often than not it is complete shock that they might have to get their affairs in order. The ones that walk out after hearing these horrid diagnoses and can still be polite and smile are astonishing.

Dr Paul Bannon, cardiac surgeon, Sydney When a parent asks me what the cause of her child's fever could be, I just say it's probably a virus. If I told the truth and ran through the long list of all the other possible causes, including cancer, you'd never stop crying. It's just too overwhelming.

Paediatrician Most of us haven't been to see our own doctors in five years.

Physical medicine specialist One of the nicest compliments they pay you is to lean forward, look totally embarrassed, and say, "I have never told anyone this before." It's very encouraging and you know you are doing the right thing.

Bob Montgomery, psychologist, Gold Coast Though we don't cry in front of you, we sometimes do cry about your situation at home.

Paediatrician The best doctors are the ones who aren't afraid to say "I don't know" or "I'm not sure". The most dangerous are the ones who think they know, but don't.

Oncologist

Anatomy of a doctor's bill How much of the $50 your doctor charges for taking 30 minutes to check out your stomach pain goes into his pocket? After paying the bills, he gets just over half. The breakdown, according to David Dahm of accounting, taxation and practice management organisation Health & Life, is: $1.74 for accounting and office fees 11c for capital expenditure 39c cleaning and laundry $1.29 insurance (including professional indemnity and work cover) 84c licensing and subscriptions 42c power $1.18 consumables 39c printing and stationary $2.74 rent $9.70 staff 62c telephone $1.78 other Over the course of a year, along with government rebates, full-time GPs earn an average $220,000 to $270,000, according to an investigation by Australian Doctor. close window

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