NO IT’S NOT A COMPLIMENT Cat-Calling & Womxn’s Self-Defense
Hannah Andress Doodles by Elaine Griffith Grace Nowak Keys between the knuckles, pepper spray, only keep one headphone in, head on a swivel, don’t walk alone in the dark, share your location with your friends, and my personal favorite: don’t ‘encourage’ them. Every womxn was taught from a young age to develop self-defense tactics to avoid unwanted and unwarranted advances from men. Most womxn can recall the first time they were catcalled and the inevitable humiliation and compounding dread that ensued. I remember my most recent encounter with misogyny, I was running through DC and I noticed a car pull up beside me and match my
Grace Nowak
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speed. Four men start yelling out the window, shouting obscenities about my physical appearance. I think they were all snickering or maybe that was the humiliation echoing in my ears. I was mortified. I felt like the world’s eyes were on me, on my body, and on its most vulnerable parts. Nights later, every time it comes to mind I feel my body writhe in humiliation, my shoulders freeze, and my arms involuntarily cross like a shield to attempt to hide my body from the peering eyes. I wanted to scream at them and deliver a loud monologue about objectification and harassment — but the best I could muster when they finally drove off was a flip of the finger. Whenever I end up in a situation like this, I find myself fantasizing about how I could have “won” the altercation. I dwell on it for weeks after the fact, how my speech would have forced an apology from the gaggle of boys. But then I wonder, what would have happened if I actually confronted them? What if they turned to violence? I think a lot of young womxn agree that we don’t want to accept this kind of behavior lying down, but at the same time, we don’t want to potentially escalate an uncomfortable situation into something that poses an actual threat.
