Happiful March 2021

Page 90

Ask the experts Counsellor and psychotherapist Nora Allali-Carling answers your questions on grief Read more about Nora Allali-Carling on Counselling Directory

Q

I’ve lost a loved one to Covid-19, and I am finding it hard to process as it was so unexpected. Is there anything I can do to help myself accept what’s happened?

A

It can be particularly traumatic losing a loved one to Covid-19, especially if it

Q

A friend of mine has lost someone recently, and I feel so awful for them. How can I best support them when we can’t be together in person?

A

There are a number of ways you can support your friend

was sudden or unexpected. It is an incredibly distressing time to be bereaved, so making sense of the loss can feel quite surreal. When you feel ready and able, accept support from others, and allow them into your space of pain. It can feel like you’re facing this grief alone, especially when you’re unable to see family and friends under the recent restrictions. More than ever, it’s important to try to maintain remote contact

who has lost a loved one, and trying to stay connected to them is one of the most important things that you can do. Let them know you are there if they want to talk, and allow them to speak freely about their loved one, cry freely, and sit with their grief. Try to use their loved one’s name as it keeps the person alive in their heart and mind. Restrictions permitting,

with friends and family via telephone, internet or video calls. Keep talking about your loved one, and your sense of loss. Sharing how you feel, or reading how others feel in support groups online, can help you come to terms with the loss. If you are feeling particularly sad, talk to your doctor and try taking some time outdoors in nature. Be gentle with yourself, and embrace all your emotions.

perhaps think about something practical you could do to take off their plate, a chore or job which would ease the burden – for example order the shopping, book the MOT, etc. It might also be a good idea to encourage your friend to speak to their doctor, and consider looking at some national online charities who offer bereavement support.

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