SO, THIS IS HAPPENING...
After a considerable hiatus from the LGBTQA+ pub lishing world, I was getting constantly asked why I left it in the first place. That’s a complicated answer. I repeated many of the “bs” reasons that I told myself and others as to why, but I thought that this fresh beginning deserved something super scary - THE TRUTH.
So, here we go (deep breath). My life blew up 7 years ago. Everything that I had planned for my future pretty much fell apart in the span of one month. I was devastated and as an artist, first and foremost, my ability to do anything creative comes from a “happy place”. Needless to say, I was NOT in a warm, cozy place anymore. So, I did what I always did before. I ran ASAP and hid until the world got back to normal again. It didn’t. Not right away at least. It took about 3 years for me to even be able to admit to myself that I had no control over what was happening, then family stuff happened (that took priority) and then the PANDEMIC.
The dreaded PANDEMIC actually had a positive effect on me. I got back to my roots. I started drawing again, then painting, then designing miniature couture for my fash ion dolls, then photography of strangers in my building, then projects for said strangers and the list went on and on for 2 years. I kept creative and busy not to go crazy. I kept getting the same question - “what do you do for a living?” I would answer cleverly,”I’m a bon vivant!” I would get strange looks back. The truth was, I didn’t want to admit to anyone about my past life and how I let it ALL slip through my fingers.
Now, fast forward to 2 month ago. My friend John Luis Roque died in Atlanta, GA. I’d known John since I was 17. In fact, he was my first (shhh!) and now he was poof - DEAD. I thought to myself,”John and I are the same age. What if I died tomorrow? What would I regret?” I knew the answer. Leaving the LGBTQA+ media on terms other than my own. So, I looked up at the sky towards my angel in a TOP HAT, Eddy Sotomayor and thought,”Lord, Edina. Help!” So, I sat down and started making calls and everyone of my old contacts said the same thing,”WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!?”
When, I gave them a brief summary of the above, I asked sheepishly if they thought I should stick my big fat toe back in the publishing world. I heard a resounding YES from every single person I spoke to! So, I took a hard swallow (shut up!), and put on my big-boy jockstrap and set my nose to the grindstone...bam, here we are. All caught up? GOOD!
Then, the dramatic unforeseen plot twist happened. The mid-term elections and the shooting last week in Colorado. I realized that I have to go back to my community. Not locally, like before, that was too small. It was time to make as big a change as I could to leave the world a better place than I found it doing what I do best - communicating to as MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE. I no longer have the luxury of hiding under the bed and waiting until the world got back to normal. That is just never going to happen again, sadly. Wish me luck kids! I’m going ALL IN THIS TIME!
To my many friends, thank you for your support and patience. To my nay sayers, thank you too! You’ve made me resilient and sure of myself. To the big GAY world I’m a part of - THE BIGGEST THANK YOU! I won’t let you down again. This is my LOVE LETTER to you.
Publisher of HAPPENING DIGITAL MAGAZINE
Francisco Garcia
Imagine OUR honor to have ICON Varla Jean Merman as OUR premiere cover story! Jeff Roberson has been a friend for many years and now we have the pleasure of enjoying living in the GAYEST CITY ON PLANET EARTH - WILTON MANORS! We asked Varla/Jeff a few questions while catching up with him after his summer tour in Provincetown. Enjoy!
HAP: You’ve decided to move to South Florida what brought you down here to Wilton manors?
VJM/JR: I was swept off my feet by a BIG man! Well, he had to be big to lift this heifer. My husband, Big Daddy, has lived here for 20 years. After we got married (shot-gun wedding) we were trying to live here and in New Orleans where I am from. But after a year, I knew that Florida was the place to be! Not to mention his house was way nicer than mine…and on the water…with electricity.
HAP: Who would you say has more fun Jeff or Varla?
VJM/JR: Jeff has had a lot more fun and with a lot less prep time! And, besides, if Varla is out she is working. When she’s off, she stays in a lovely climate-controlled storage unit in Port Everglades, or sometimes in our ga rage…on the water… with electricity.
HAP: I understand that Varla had an encounter with a TicTac in Provincetown this summer? Can you tell us more about that or would that be triggering for you?
VJM/JR: Everything is triggering for me! And now I can add TicTacs to that list! During my show “Ready To Blow” in Provincetown I slipped on a TicTac during my dance break in “Anything Goes” and had a bone break! I used TicTacs as prop pills and every night they would be all over the floor. Usually I would just crush them, but that night I decided to do a fancy pivot, and the TicTacs were like marbles from “Showgirls.” Someone said they saw Miss Richfield with an empty bag of marbles fleeing the scene! HA! I fell so hard, my knee bent completely the wrong way fast and hard and I snapped my quad tendon and fractured my knee cap. The bigger the girl, the harder the fall. I was rushed to the hospital which is actually an hour and a half away, with my knee cap sticking up through my pantyhose! After surgery, the next night alone in a hotel room in Hyannis Massachusetts, I felt defeated that my show and my season were over. But then I started to think of the jokes and how I could work this accident into the show. I have always used comedy in the most tragic moments of my life, I guess to survive. I thought “Fuck this. I’ll just do the damn show in a wheelchair. It will be hilarious, with a hint of desperation, which real ly works for Varla!” The audiences were amazing! And I never broke a sweat! I think I’m gonna do my shows in a hospital bed next year. The people in Provincetown brought me to tears every night, showing their support! They even brought TicTacs and shook them as they applauded, making the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard.
HAP: Finally, what’s next in Varla Jean’s or Jeff’s upcoming projects?
VJM/JR: I am co-hosting Matthew Darren’s “Holiday Fantasia” on December 4th at the Sunshine Cathedral. Then on February 11th, I will be doing my show “Ready To Blow” at the Sunshine Cathedral as well! You can find a ticket link at VarlaJean.com. But this time, no TicTacs are allowed within 100 feet of the stage. Please just brush your teeth at home.
