Hackley Review Summer 2020 by Hackley School

HACKLEY HACKLEY REVIEW SUMMER 2020

TH E CHAR AC TE R IS SU E

Thank you Whether we are gathered on the Hilltop, in our virtual classrooms, connecting with friends and families, working on the frontlines, we are Hackley and we are stronger together. This community enables us to fulfill our mission in unprecedented ways. Thank you for all the ways in which you continue to spread beauty and light and represent Hackley beyond the Hilltop. Thank you for staying connected with your peers through text, phone, emails and video chats. Enter here to be and find a friend truly resonates on and off the Hilltop. Thank you for showing unreserved effort as we adapt to new challenges. Together we are educating our students in our homes, “virtually,” with more grace than ever. United, We Help One Another has never resonated more than it does now. Thank you for offering to help proudly and quickly, in selfless and meaningful ways. Character above intellect is reflected in your actions.

From top: Healthcare workers at New York Presbyterian Weill Cornell Emergency Department (top) wearing the face shields made and donated by Zach ’22 and Zara ’23 Yusaf (middle). Anthony Mitchell of Hackley’s Buildings and Grounds department setting off with the Hackley Hornet to deliver nearly 4000 gloves from Hackley’s Athletics and Science departments to Westchester Medical Center.

HACKLEY REVIEW SUMMER 2020

Contents 2 From the Head of School

4 Hilltop Updates

10 Portraits of Character Members of the K-12 community reflect on the way character plays out on the Hilltop.

24 To Grow in Character, Scholarship, and Accomplishment Character is embedded in our sense of who we are and always have been, even if we didn’t call it that. By Suzy Akin

30 This Good Place What makes this a place where we can “be good”? By Chris McColl

36 The Character of Joy Suzy Akin Editor Chris Taggart Primary Photography Alphabetica Design Special thanks to Julie Lillis and Erin Gathrid for editorial support. © Copyright 2020 Hackley School. All rights reserved.

Ingrid Fetell Lee ’97 takes the notion of “being good’ far beyond the Hilltop as she thinks about what constitutes a joyful life. By Suzy Akin

40 End Note We are Hackley...Just Now Online By Cyndy John

from the head of school

Several months ago, we chose to focus on character in this issue of Hackley Review. In light of the current global state and the new reality we are all facing, that decision seems almost prescient. We are living through what we can only hope is a once in a lifetime moment, one that requires resolve, integrity, cooperation, ingenuity, and the need to act in the collective best interest. Simply put, it requires character. Since mid-March, people have been driven apart physically. We have been forced into our homes, adapting how we work, socialize, and learn. Video conferences and masks are ubiquitous, replacing impromptu conversations and handshakes. Everywhere we turn, the familiar has been replaced and we are now living lives that have been—and will continue to be—fundamentally changed. And yet, examples abound of people coming together to lift up one another, revealing the best of the human spirit. From health care professionals traveling from out-of-state to help areas in need to high school students—including Hackley students!—creating and donating masks, we have seen countless individuals stepping up in difficult circumstances to support others. These stories that fill our hearts with hope are examples of character in action: individuals with the strength and determination to act, not when personally convenient but when circumstances require. Hackley has long emphasized and embraced the development of character as part of our education. Character features prominently in our mission: “Hackley challenges students to grow in character, scholarship, and accomplishment...” Further, Headmaster Walter C. Johnson popularized Ralph Waldo Emerson’s quotation within the Hackley community, reminding us that “...character is higher than intellect,” cementing this wisdom as part of our core values for generations to come.

The continuity of these values and the emphasis on character is shared widely throughout the school, but perhaps nowhere more than on Hackley’s Board of Trustees. It is bittersweet news to announce that John C. Canoni ’86, P ’20 will conclude his term as Board President on June 30, 2020. John has led the Board through a period of transition and change in the school, always with a steady hand and unyielding commitment to the school’s mission and values. Through his service to others, he embodies the type of character that Hackley strives to develop in our students. We are fortunate that H. Rodgin Cohen P ’08, a trustee since 2002, will lead the Board as President. Rodge’s knowledge of the school community and his deep commitment to our values ensures that character will always remain central to a Hackley education. In addition to sharing news of this transition, this edition of Hackley Review highlights the ways in which these guiding principles have long been part of the school’s culture and how they are woven throughout the experience of today’s students. This edition opens with a representative group of students, parents, teachers, and staff sharing their personal thoughts on character on the Hilltop. An essay by Chris McColl, Director of Admissions, connects these modern day portraits to the school’s founding days, referencing Headmaster Theodore Chickering Williams’ quotation about campus being “a place where it should be easy to be good.” These two pieces provide excellent bookends to the study of character development at Hackley, from the school’s founding through present day. Importantly, character is not something simply developed at Hackley during one’s time as a student. Rather, it is a quality that informs the life and experience of our alumni, connect-

We are living through what we can only hope is a once in a lifetime moment, one that requires resolve, integrity, cooperation, ingenuity, and the need to act in the collective best interest. Simply put, it requires character.

2019–2020

Officers

Hackley Alumni Association, Inc.

ing them to the school’s history and culture. I have been in many conversations with alumni who share stories of an influential faculty member who taught them a lesson of great permanence. These teachable moments frequently centered on personal, rather than intellectual development, and have shaped the individual’s sense of self and their relationships with others.

John C. Canoni '86, President

Officers

Suzy Akin, Director of Communications, looks at character development across the school’s history, drawing from some truly inspirational and legendary Hackley teachers. Her piece complements an interview with Ingrid Fetell Lee ‘97, author of Joyful, who shares insights on the relationship between “character, scholarship, and accomplishment” and their foundation in joy. Finally, Cyndy Jean, Director of the Middle School, shares her experience with our distance learning approach in an essay that was recently shared in Hackley Perspectives. Cyndy’s essay highlights resilience and points to the ways this aspect of character has been made even more visible.

Thomas A. Caputo ’65

Regardless of whether we are in-person or distance learning, we continue to develop student character. Hackley’s mission, culture, and history set us on this path, and the current moment demands nothing less.

Pamela Gallin Yablon, M.D.

Fran Rowbottom, Secretary

Honorary Trustees

Leadership Team

Herbert A. Allen ’58

Michael C. Wirtz Head of School

Board of Trustees

P.S. I would be remiss if I did not use some of my allotted space to say goodbye to Suzy Akin, Director of Communications. Suzy is finishing her 24th year at Hackley and has been throughout those years the driving force behind our communications efforts, including Hackley Review. The strength of this publication and the sophistication of our efforts are due in no small measure to her hard work and creativity. Thank you, Suzy, and best wishes for your adventures in Boston!

Sy Sternberg, Vice President Harvinder S. Sandhu, MD Vice President

Christie Philbrick-Wheaton- Galvin ’00, President

John R. Torell IV '80, Treasurer

Sallyann Parker Nichols ’87, Vice President

Maria A. Docters, Secretary

Daniel E. Rifkin ’89, Treasurer

Sherry Blockinger ’87

Timothy L. Kubarych ’06, Secretary

Christopher P. Bogart H. Rodgin Cohen Dawn N. Fitzpatrick David I. Gluckman Eric B. Gyasi ’01

Hackley Parents' Association 2019-2020 Erica Napach, President Sally Kesh, Executive Vice President

Jason J. Hogg ’89

Sandra Socastro, Administrative Vice President

Linda Holden-Bryant

Jeffrey Mook, Treasurer

Kaveh Khosrowshahi ’85

Liz DeSpirito, Assistant Treasurer

Jeffrey A. Libert ’73 Michael H. Lowry Rachel Mears Hannah E. Saujet ’94 Jumaane W. Saunders ’96 Sarah J. Unger ’03 Maureen Wright

Daniel A. Celentano John T. Cooney, Jr. ’76 Marvin H. Davidson Jack M. Ferraro H’63 Berkeley D. Johnson, Jr. ’49 Keith R. Kroeger ’54 Philip C. Scott ’60 Advisory Trustees John J. Beni ’51 David Berry ’96, MD, PhD Roger G. Brooks Harold Burson Robert R. Grusky ’75 Michael G. Kimelman ’56 Timothy D. Matlack ’70 Jonathan P. Nelson ’64 Diane D. Rapp Conrad A. Roberts ’68

Diana Tapper, Upper School Vice President Jennifer McQuaid, Middle School Vice President Alex Sarro, Lower School Vice President

Philip J. Variano Associate Head of School for School Operations Steven D. Bileca Assistant Head of School for Academic Affairs Peter McAndrew Director of Finance and Campus Planning Andrew M. King Director of the Upper School Cyndy Jean Director of the Middle School Lisa Oberstein Director of the Lower School Christopher T. McColl Director of Admissions Teresa S. Weber Director of Advancement

Lawrence D. Stewart ’68 Sue Wagner

Michael C. Wirtz P ’29, P ’31 head of school

Hackley School adheres to a long-standing policy of admitting students of any race, color, religion, gender identity, and national and ethnic origin to all the rights, privileges, programs and activities generally accorded or made available to students at the school. It does not discriminate on the basis of race, color, religion, gender identity, or national or ethnic origin in administration of its educational policies, admissions policies, scholarship or athletic and other school-administered programs.

hilltop updates

John Canoni â&#x20AC;&#x2122;86

H. Rodgin Cohen

Hackley Board Announces Leadership Transition John Canoni, Hackley Class of 1986, has announced his decision to resign his role as President of the Hackley Board of Trustees, effective June 30, 2020, after five years serving in this role. He will continue to serve Hackley School as a member of the Board. Trustee H. Rodgin Cohen will succeed him as the sixteenth President of the Hackley Board of Trustees, effective July 1, 2020. A graduate of Amherst College, John Canoni earned his J.D. from Fordham University, and was a partner at several New York law firms before relocating in 2019 to Dallas, Texas where he now works at Stanton LLP. With distance and travel now making his leadership role at Hackley more difficult, he has chosen to graduate from his role as President in the year that his daughter, Jennifer â&#x20AC;&#x2122;20, graduates from Hackley as well.

John’s exemplary service to Hackley School began soon after his graduation, when he assumed the role of Class Agent, leading his class’s engagement efforts through Class Notes, fundraising and reunions. He was named to the Hackley Alumni Association (HAA) Board of Directors in 1991, served as Secretary from 1995-1997, and as President from 1997 to 2001, during which time alumni annual fund participation increased from 14% to 25%, and the HAA actively expanded its national engagement efforts. When he ended his tenure as President, the HAA Board of Directors honored him with the creation of the John Canoni Travel Program, which helps support student participation in Hackley’s international travel programs. He remains an Honorary Director of HAA to this day. Appointed to the Board of Trustees in 2006, John served as chair of the Board’s Buildings and Grounds Committee, where he was a critical force in planning and executing numerous campus projects. Beginning with the campus beautification project that included the redesigned main entrance and other landscaping improvements, the renovations of Goodhue and Raymond, and the construction of the northern athletic fields, and finishing with early planning for faculty housing and the Johnson Center for Health and Wellness, John’s leadership helped transform the physical layout of campus. He served as co-chair, with John Torell and Neal Leonard, of The Legacy Campaign. Named President of the Board effective July 1, 2015, he oversaw the transition from Walter Johnson’s leadership to Michael Wirtz’s installation as Hackley’s 12th Head of School. Fellow trustees are grateful for John’s exceptional leadership. Kaveh Khosrowshahi ’85 reflects that “John Canoni’s dedication as an all-around Hackley Hornet is unmatched. He was somehow a full-time president of the board, parent, and Hackley alumnus, and he fulfilled each of these roles with passion, patience, and a keen sense of fairness and team play.” Maria Docters P ’17, ’18, ’21 adds, “From giving up his own vacation days to visit alumni around the country, spending endless hours of his time to secure gifts, and more, John always does beyond what he is asked for. His selfless nature and unreserved care for the Hackley community has made him an example to follow.” We are grateful to know that John will continue to serve Hackley School as a member of the Board, ensuring the smooth transition to our new leadership. We are fortunate to welcome H. Rodgin Cohen, a Hackley trustee since 2002, to the role of Board President. Senior chairman of the law firm Sullivan & Cromwell, Rodge Cohen’s practice centers on banking and financial institutions, and he is widely recognized among the experts who

helped resolve the major banking crises of recent decades. He also led the Wall Street community in rallying support for Lower Manhattan after the 9/11 attacks, and was part of the bank negotiations that resulted in the freeing of Americans in the Iran hostage crisis in 1981. His son, Jonathan, graduated from Hackley in 2008, and Rodge has continued in his leadership at Hackley ever since. As John Canoni noted, “The ideal scenario is to find a replacement who can continue to steward and lead the institution effectively in their first day in the role. Hackley is indeed in excellent hands with Rodge on July 1. When Rodge speaks, people pay attention. He has years of independent school board leadership experience beyond his in-depth knowledge of Hackley from 18 years of service here. More importantly, he has the demeanor, tact and thoughtfulness required to lead a board filled with talented trustees, which Hackley is fortunate to have. Rodge's wisdom and grasp of the important issues will serve him and Hackley well in the years to come.” Rodge Cohen observes, “John Canoni has been the epitome of leadership in public service as President of the Hackley Board of Trustees. He has provided unerring judgment, unwavering integrity and total commitment. And, he has done so with grace, accessibility and humility.” He reflects, “In being privileged and honored to succeed John, I will be able to emulate the ideal role model. Hackley is blessed with so many strengths — faculty, administrators, parents, alumni, board and campus — that we can offer a uniquely fulfilling educational opportunity for all our students. The COVID-19 pandemic, as devastating and debilitating as it has been, demonstrates the strength of our unity and resolve of our community.” In considering his new role, Rodge Cohen observes, “John Canoni has been the epitome of leadership in public service as President of the Hackley Board of Trustees. He has provided unerring judgment, unwavering integrity and total commitment. And, he has done so with grace, accessibility and humility.” He reflects, “In being privileged and honored to succeed John, I will be able to emulate the ideal role model. Hackley is blessed with so many strengths—faculty, administrators, parents, alumni, board and campus—that we can offer a uniquely fulfilling educational opportunity for all our students. The COVID-19 pandemic, as devastating and debilitating as it has been, demonstrates the strength of our unity and resolve of our community.” Please join us in thanking John Canoni for his extraordinary service as Board President, and in welcoming Rodge Cohen to this role. The stewardship of Hackley’s mission remains in good hands.

hilltop updates

Suzy Akin Takes on New Role

Lee Oshman Retires from Hackley Business Office

Suzy Akin leaves Hackley on June 30, 2020 after 24 years on the Hilltop, having accepted a position as Director of Strategic Marketing and Communications at The Park School in Brookline, MA. Suzy joined the Hackley community as Director of Communications in 1996 after a successful career working with Ralph Lauren, though her connection to Hackley extends much deeper. Her siblings, Bobby ’83 and JoJo ’90, and uncle, Bill ’63, are Hackley graduates, along with her father, Bob Akin ’54, who served as President of the Hackley Board of Trustees throughout the 1980s, and her sons, Conor ’12 and Ian ’14. She has built lasting relationships across the generations, reaching back to classmates of her father’s from the 1950s and through to today’s current students. Over the last 24 years, Suzy has dedicated herself to telling Hackley’s story, working with nearly every department on campus, ensuring that the accomplishments — big and small — of the Hackley community are celebrated and creating a sense of belonging. She redesigned and served as Editor for Hackley Review, launched multiple websites and created Hackley’s electronic communications program, and led projects related to admissions and development marketing materials, resulting in strong growth in both areas. A member of the English department as well, she has taught English 11, literature seminars, and serves as advisor to Hackley’s literary and art magazine, The Vision.

Lee Oshman, who has served as Hackley's Controller in the Business Office since 1997, retires this June after 23 years on the Hilltop. Director of Finance and Campus Planning Peter McAndrew, who arrived at Hackley the same summer, notes that Lee has been an essential partner through all these years, diligently working on business operations, and he is thankful for Lee's good spirit and hard work, observing"We have accomplished a great deal and weathered many storms." Prior to coming to Hackley, Lee worked in hospital accounting. He enjoyed long distance running, and bowling with his family. He has been a welcoming presence in the business office, helping employees with many requests, including that most important of matters, paychecks! In addition, Lee has spearheaded preparation for the School's annual audit and of interim financial reports throughout the year. Please join us in wishing Lee the best in his much deserved retirement.

At The Park School, Suzy will have the opportunity to chart a new direction for strategic communications while learning the language of a pre-K to 8th grade school. As an added bonus, Suzy will finally be able to join her partner Todd in Boston, making this move both a professional and personal adventure. Please join us in offering our congratulations!

Stacy Kaegi Leaves Hackley Lower School

Stacy (Arvelo) Kaegi leaves Hackley at the end of the 2019-20 school year. Stacy has been a lead teacher in the Lower School since 1999, spending most of her years in second and third grades and most recently in kindergarten. Her colleagues, students and their families have come to appreciate Stacy’s creativity and dedication to her students; she is tireless in her efforts to do her best for them. Throughout her tenure at Hackley, Stacy has touched the lives of many families and offered unreserved effort to reach each child in her classroom. We wish her the very best as she moves on to new endeavors.

Jean Nadell Retires From Hackley College Counseling

Jean Nadell retires from Hackley, effective June 30, 2020, completing 19 years as a member of the Hackley College Counseling team. Before beginning her work with the College Counseling Office, Jean was an active Hackley parent and leader within the Hackley Parents’ Association (her son Carey is a graduate of Hackley’s Class of 2003). Jean first joined the College Counseling Office as an office assistant, and within a few years was counseling her own students while still handling administrative duties for the office. Since 2015, Jean has been a full-time counselor, deeply appreciated for her tremendous knowledge, remarkable attention to detail, an exemplary work ethic, and her gift for connecting with her counselees and their families. Please join us in thanking Jean for the outstanding work she has done in support of her students and Hackley for the last 19 years.

hilltop updates

Madeleine Lopez ’97 Named Assistant Lower School Head at Collegiate

Madeleine (Ayala) Lopez, Hackley Class of 1997, leaves Hackley this year after 15 years as a Fourth Grade teacher in the Lower School to become Assistant Head of Lower School at Collegiate School in Manhattan for the 2020-2021 school year. Madeleine completed her Masters in Private School Leadership in 2019, and this degree combined with her passion for teaching and learning and her many years of Lower School experience made Madeleine a stand-out candidate for the Collegiate position. During her Lower School tenure, Madeleine has served in various roles including Co-Director of the Associate Teacher program, Chair of the Lower School Social Studies Committee and Director of After School Programs. Madeleine was also a founding member of the Lower School Diversity Committee and a member of Hackley Technology Task Force. Collegiate is adding a deeply committed, energetic and intelligent individual to their community. Please join us in congratulating Madeleine as we wish her all the very best in her new role at Collegiate School.

Chris McColl Accepts New Role in Beijing

Chris McColl has accepted the role as Dean of Admissions of Keystone Academy in Beijing, China, effective July 1, 2020. For over 12 years, Chris has been integral to the success of Hackley’s admissions and marketing efforts. First joining Hackley as Director of Admissions, Grades 7-12, Chris later assumed leadership of the office and has been the Director of Admissions since July 2012. During his tenure leading the office, Chris has overseen an increase of more than 40% in overall applications. In partnership with his admissions colleagues, he has helped Hackley’s reputation spread throughout the region, drawing applicants from a broad range of zip codes. His leadership also ensured the development and deepening of important and strategic relationships with a number of feeder schools and sending organizations. The most important measure of his work is taken in how prospective — and hopefully subsequently enrolled — families feel about the school. On countless occasions, families talk about the ways in which Chris brought Hackley’s values and culture to life during the admission process. His ability to connect with families, remembering key details about their background, or directing them to others within the community with shared interests has made a profound difference in the ways in which people experience the school. For most of Hackley’s current families, Chris was one of the first people they met, the one who helped answer their questions, and the person who helped them see their values and hopes represented in the school. Through their children, Mae ’13 and Bea ’18, and the friendships they have developed, Chris and Julie will remain connected to the Hilltop. They have a wonderful new adventure planned for this next chapter in their lives—please join us in wishing them well and in offering our heartfelt thanks and congratulations.

Sheila Hicks-Rotella Joins Hackley Admissions Team

Sheila Hicks-Rotella will serve as Hackley's Director of Enrollment Management, effective July 1, 2020. For the last 11 years, Sheila has been at Riverdale Country School as their Director of Financial Aid. In this capacity, she has managed a significant financial aid budget to best achieve Riverdale's strategic enrollment goals. By partnering with her head of school and a board committee on the topic, Sheila has helped make the case for increased levels of financial aid within her school community. Sheila is widely recognized as an expert in financial aid, having presented at numerous conferences regionally and nationally on the topic. Additionally, she gained valuable admission experience by simultaneously serving at different times as the Director of Middle School Admission and the Associate Director of Middle and Upper School Admission. Before Riverdale, Sheila was at The Bush School in Seattle, WA, where she served as the Interim Assistant Director of Admissions for the Lower School and the Diversity Assistant for three years. Sheila brings deep knowledge and experience of the K-12 greater New York City admission environment to Hackley. Her warmth, experiences, and alignment with our values and culture make her a great addition to Hackley. Please join us in welcoming Sheila, her wife Emily, and their children Naomi and James to Hackley.

On Character We invited members of the current Hackley campus community to tell us about the ways they see and appreciate â&#x20AC;&#x153;characterâ&#x20AC;? on the Hilltop, and its important impact on shaping our experience. When the Coronavirus closed campus, interfering with our plan for professional portraits of each participant, we invited them to send their own photos.

The first time I watched a Character Education assembly, the children were putting on a play to demonstrate that month’s virtue and one of the kids forgot his lines. The boy stammered and became flushed. All of a sudden someone in the 4th grade shouted “You can do it! You’ve got this!” and all the kids in the room (K-4) started to cheer for the boy. And he did it! This was character education in action. THIS was why we chose Hackley. United, we help one another. I don’t think there was an adult in the room with dry eyes. natalia rozenholc, lower school parent

I think something you find at Hackley is kids who are both ambitious and nice. Kids here want to do very well, but they also want everyone else to do well, too. I feel like thatâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s pretty unique. david, 10th grade

What is fascinating about working at Hackley is being able to witness how each student’s unique attributes flourish. Their character comes to life in the way they express themselves, treat their peers, and express their thoughts. The form this takes — the ways they take action and express what and who they are — is, mostly, positive and admirable. We have great kids. claudia coy, assistant to the director of the upper school

The first day that we walked into Kindergarten, everybody was nervous, but yet we were accepting, and our friendships in Lower School were about having fun together. annika, 6th grade

Now our friendships in Middle School have grown to be so much more and are also about supporting each other, sharing experiences and cheering each other on. jiya, 6th grade

People with character are kind, they are not mean, and they stay calm. maggie, 3rd grade

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Enter here to be and find a friend.â&#x20AC;? By the end of my first week at Hackley in sixth grade, not only had I made friends, but discovered that I was now part of a community consisting of friends and their families with teachers who care and activities that extend beyond school into the homes and lives of others. All around me, I see qualities in students that I admire and want to emulate. sam, 8th grade

Doing the right thing can be very hard, and it requires practice. I have seen how character grows and shows everywhere at Hackley. I saw my three children learn to ask for help and to offer help to others. I have listened to students discuss thorny ethical questions in an advisory activity designed by Board of Magistrates members, and have watched devastated athletes pick themselves up off the ground to get into the handshake line to look their opponent in the eye and congratulate them on a great game. I have enjoyed the spectacle of waves of students lurching out of their chairs on Class Day to applaud the accomplishment of others. I can think of a hundred other moments where, in challenging moments, Hackley kids are developing character even as they reveal it to us. chris arnold, assistant director of the upper school, teacher, coach

What I love most about the students I teach and coach is that they always bring their best effort — not for their own benefit but because they never want to let their classmates and teammates down. Hackley students “put in the work” — both in the classroom and on the athletic fields. A former coach instilled in me the value of this motto: Play with your head, play with your heart. You do everything you can to prepare mentally but it’s digging deep and looking from within — with passion and love for the game — that pulls you through. Hackley kids always put in the work to prepare mentally but what is even more admirable is that they do everything with heart. sara budde, middle school teacher, coach

I see "character" come to life with Hackley Lower School students every day! As students work together on the playground, in group learning, at the lunch table—It is easy to see them collaborating, cooperating, showing empathy, being flexible! It is beautiful and easy to see the best in our students as they show their best selves—their true character—when they are together. amanda letard, lower school psychologist

Hackley challenges students to be the best people they can be in the world. In a world full of injustices and sins, we need more people with courage, strength, and kindness. Hackley molds its students to be courageous, strong, and kindâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;people who are supportive of each other's ideas and goals. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a safe space for students to express their passions and ideas. Hackley equipped me to learn and understand the perspectives and ideas of others, and to be courageous enough to speak my beliefs. schylar, 12th grade

It is difficult to pinpoint a specific person or anecdote that embodies the idea of â&#x20AC;&#x153;characterâ&#x20AC;? at Hackley, simply because it is infused in the actions and words of every colleague, student, and parent I interact with daily, but I particularly appreciate the incredible character, grit, flexibility, and perseverance my first grade students displayed during our period of Distance Learning this spring. Their smiles, humor, mailed notes of encouragement, expressions of virtual thanks, and grace will never be forgotten. krysta dudley â&#x20AC;&#x2122;01, lower school teacher

Hackley students have the gift of being able to embrace difference. I have watched them hold each other up as they headed into challenges, rather than tear each other down. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s an indelible mark of character, one that must be perfected through practice, and cultivated each and every day. tony maisonet, middle school history teacher

F E AT U R E

Pop Lindsay in his classroom.

By Suzy Akin

To Grow in Character, Scholarship and Accomplishment When a thoughtful committee representing all Hackley’s constituencies came together in 2005 to consider and, ultimately, rewrite the School’s mission statement, the new statement presented to and approved by the Board of Trustees led with these words: “Hackley challenges students to grow in character, scholarship, and accomplishment.”

Deliberately, “character” comes first, before “scholarship,” echoing the Emersonian ideal that Hackley has come to embrace as one of its core values: “Character is higher than intellect.” For generations of alumni and their parents, the notion of “character” immediately evokes memories of teachers and coaches who taught unforgettable lessons that had as much—if not more—to do with character as with objective measures of achievement. Phil Havens ’49 life’s work as an educator was surely influenced by the powerful impact of his Hackley math teacher, “Pop” Lindsay, who, he recalled, challenged him to work through a complicated math problem on the blackboard in front of the entire class. Years later, Phil reported, I stepped aside as I finished, knowing full well that I couldn’t dare return to my seat until Pop read the solution. Then came his inevitable questions which took me through my reasoning step by step. He dragged it out and I dreaded his finding an error which I had missed, but soon I realized that he was letting me enjoy a celebration. There was no effusive praise to embarrass me; he simply lingered over my correct and unique solution. He communicated a respect for my thinking which did an enormous amount for my confidence.

The achievement represented here is real—but what made it so memorable was what this experience did for a young student’s belief in himself. To paraphrase Maya Angelou, the most formative part of education comes less from what anyone said or did, but from how teachers, coaches, and other influences on campus made students feel. Dave Allison—legendary Hackley Girls Varsity Soccer coach— was another such teacher, whose very name is inextricably linked with the definition of “character” on the Hilltop for those who knew him. We honor his memory and his gift of character every year on Alumni Weekend at the Dave Allison Memorial Soccer game, when HGVS players past and present join in celebration of his legacy. This memorable story shared by a parent of one of Dave’s former athletes speaks to the lessons of character so valued on the Hilltop, now and across the decades. Parent of alumna and former Hackley Alumni Association president Bob Kirkwood ’71 remembered the last regular game of the season when his daughter, Diana ’04, was a member of the team. The outcome of that game, he recalled, would “dictate whether Hackley [would be] invited to the state tournament,” and Dave started all ten seniors on the team, regardless of their skill level or playing experience.

At first, everyone thought this was a nice gesture to the seniors, but parents and underclassmen starters soon became impatient. Everyone expected Dave to pull the non-starting seniors after the first few minutes. He did not. He played all of the seniors without substitution the entire first half. Interesting things began to occur along the sidelines. The same parents who had been questioning his tactic after the first few minutes of the game, started to pull for the seniors. They got it. Once again, Dave had expanded his classroom lesson. We witnessed similar developments across the field. Underclassmen who normally played most of the game began to pull for their senior teammates. The cheering was the loudest of the season. Even more spectacular was what occurred on the field. Those seniors who normally saw limited playing time spent much of the first few moments of the game looking over to the bench to see when they were going to be relieved and returned to the bench. When they realized that they were not going to be relieved, and that they were being called upon to play a real game and to make a real difference for the team’s destiny, the seniors pulled themselves together. And, as if through some sort of magic, the quality of their game was elevated. They realized that they could play against a more skilled opponent, and play competitively. I have no recollection of who the opponent was. I recall that it was a strong rival. I vaguely remember that Hackley ultimately won the game in the second half. But, I will never forget the first half of that game, and how the seniors battled their stronger opponents to a scoreless first half when nobody on the field, except Dave, believed they had it in them. As Phil Havens’ memory about Pop Lindsay’s lesson attests, the athletics field is not the only place that these lessons of character happen. Often, the lessons are created by outstanding teachers, and yet, at Hackley today, it is often our students who create and share these lessons themselves. The extraordinary efforts of Hackley student mentors in the Hudson Scholars program, for example, truly embody "character in action." The Hudson Scholars program provides academic enrichment opportunities—during four weeks in the summer and with tutoring and Saturday reunions through the school year—for Tarrytown/Sleepy Hollow middle school students, and while the academic component is certainly valuable, the leadership and role modeling provided

by the Hackley student mentors has equally important impact. The mentors invest themselves deeply in their partnership with the Scholars—surprising their Scholars by showing up to cheer them on at their school recitals, sharing their academic and creative passions, and creating relationships that impact and inspire the mentors as much as they benefit the Scholars. When the Covid-19 crisis hit Westchester County, the Hackley mentors, in partnership with Hackley post-AP Spanish Language students, jumped into action to develop resources to support the Scholars and their families. They researched and identified nonprofits that are addressing access to food, household supplies, and healthcare, as well as resources for the unemployed or underemployed, and “virtual” educational resources for children. The students then shared this information (in English and Spanish) on the Hudson Scholars Facebook page so that families could find the help they needed. Another student initiative also resonates powerfully in the current moment. Two senior Creative Writing students, despite not being able to be on campus for senior spring, decided to devote their free time to being regular, daily members of the Hilltop Writing Studio, a Zoom Room hosted by two Hackley English faculty as a place for students to write. These two seniors invited younger students to the Studio, and by modeling curiosity and support for their fellow students, encouraged the writers around them to give and receive thoughtful feedback, and to celebrate each others' turns of phrase. Their efforts created an extraordinary sense of community and connectedness that transcended the seeming limitations of the “virtual” classroom. They didn’t need to do this, but they did it—because it was worth doing. These lessons represent education in the deepest, most lasting sense. As Head of School Michael Wirtz observes, “A life of purpose, one guided by a strong sense of character, is not about grand gestures. Rather, it is the accumulation of the millions of nearly invisible actions we take on a daily basis — mostly directed outwards in our relationships with others — that truly defines who we are and how well we lived.”

Hackley secures matching challenge grant from The Edward E. Ford Foundation In May 2019, The Edward E. Ford Foundation awarded Hackley School a $100,000 dollar-to-dollar matching challenge grant to support the expansion of Hudson Scholars to a four-cohort program. We are pleased to announce that several generous donors provided the matching funds, securing this challenge grant from the E. E. Ford Foundation. The $103,000 from these donors will be used to seed an endowed fund which will support Hudson Scholars in perpetuity.

To paraphrase Maya Angelou, the most formative part of education comes less from what anyone said or did, but from how teachers, coaches, and other influences on campus made students feel.

Dave Allison and the Hackley Girls Varsity Soccer team, circa 1990.

“Character is Higher than Intellect” Hackley Students Excel at Ethics Bowl In recent years, history teacher Steve Fitzpatrick, in partnership with other faculty members, has built a thriving Debate program at Hackley, in which both Middle and Upper School students have the opportunity to compete in regional and national competitions—with extraordinary success. This year, student debaters ventured into a new kind of forum, competing for the first time in an Ethics Bowl. The Ethics Bowl differs fundamentally from debate in that the competition does not come down to which team is right or wrong. Instead, these events challenge participants to engage in thoughtful, nuanced discussions about a particular ethical dilemma, such as whether it is acceptable to isolate oneself from the news to preserve one's mental health or whether it is okay to publish graphic photographs to encourage social action. It’s the kind of thinking that Hackley’s mission to “challenge students to...learn from the varying perspectives in our community and the world” hopes to encourage. Upper School History teacher Steele Sternberg led the effort, and four students signed up to give the competition a try. Greg and Kiriann, both juniors, were joined by a tenth grader, Daniel, and Ava, a ninth grader. Mr. Fitzpatrick observes, “You couldn’t find four more disparate students— different grades, different pockets of the school.” The students met several times before driving down to compete with a few dozen other schools at a school in Manhattan in January. “We had no expectations,” Mr. Fitzpatrick says, “but we have smart kids. And a few things cut in our favor: you couldn’t bring in any outside prep materials, so even schools who had been practicing for months had no great advantage over us.” Mr. Sternberg observes that “All these students are thoughtful and creative in their own ways. We took this on as a shotin-the-dark kind of project, and what I think was really special was that it ended up being something with which all four of our students, as naturally curious and intelligent people, really resonated.” He believes the team did well in part because they “focused less on the details of the case studies and more on how to think through issues philosophi-

cally. For example, what matters more, having morally sound reasons for an action or making sure that action produces the best outcome for the most people? That kind of thinking allowed our students to be more flexible in their discussions with other teams and come out on top every time!” Students participating in the Ethics Bowl begin by gathering with teammates to unpack and prep 12 cases in order to decide how best to approach each issue and explain it to the judges—most of whom are graduate students in philosophy who are skilled in the art of nuanced discussion. Unlike Debate, this effort prioritizes collaborative discussion. In each round, students are asked to present on two of 12 cases. One team gets five minutes to explain their position on the ethical dilemma a case presents and how they would recommend resolving it, noting the various other points of view they considered in forming their position. The second team, then, has three minutes to ask questions regarding what factors the first team considered, and the first team responds. Then, the judges have 10 minutes to pick the argument apart, raise questions, and otherwise challenge the interpretation. “This is where the bulk of the points come from,” Mr. Fitzpatrick explains. “Hackley students did very well with the judges, responding to questions with a higher level of depth than the other teams.” Significantly, for many other teams, the competition was the culminating experience of a year-long ethics course and, Mr. Fitzpatrick observes, “these students were really polished and strong. Under questioning, however, our students could point out flaws in their opponents’ logic.” The Hackley team went 5-0 at this first New York regional event. Mr. Sternberg says, “It was an intense day, and it was pretty surreal to just keep winning. It took us a bit to figure out that the reason we were doing well was because we were really listening to the judges’ questions and answering appropriately, and we were focused more on having a good conversation than on proving why we were right 100% of the time.” The team then squared off against the New Jersey winner in late February, winning all three ballots at that match. While the Hackley students had experience in Moot

Hackley Ethics Bowl competitors, Winter 2020

Court and Debate competition, they were not familiar with the culture of this activity. “We were learning it as we went along,” Mr. Fitzpatrick says. In this competition, he notes, there is no simple or “right” answer to an ethical dilemma. The issues may seem simple, but the underlying dilemmas require insightful understanding to recognize the ethical factors as play, and you cannot rely on philosophical jargon. For example, Mr. Fitzpatrick reports, one case involved a woman who brought her dog into a graveyard, where there was a sign that said, “ No dogs allowed.” She argued that she has no other green space available and that she cleans up after her dog. Was it ethical for her to be there? When is it okay to violate the spirit of a law vs. the letter of the law? Mr. Fitzpatrick believes Hackley students are well equipped for these challenges because “they are used to thinking on their feet and thinking three steps ahead and backing up their thoughts.”

Your first inclination might be to jump to an obvious response, he says, “but the whole idea is to dig deeper and consider the competing interpretations, and to arrive at a conclusion you can defend through this process of evaluating these interpretations. It’s ‘debate’ without the argumentation, and depends on appreciation of both your own process and that of the opposition.” Hackley’s inaugural Ethics Bowl team qualified for Nationals, scheduled to be held in North Carolina in April, but cancelled due to concern about the Coronavirus. The students were honored at a virtual event in May. Mr. Fitzpatrick says, “The Ethics Bowl really flips what we do in debate. We are rewarded for having the more sophisticated understanding of an issue rather than ‘winning’ for being ‘right.’ It’s a collaborative process of seeking truth.” He believes Hackley students have been taught to think in a way that perceives the ethical nuances of questions. “Our kids identify the values at play.”

By Chris McColl 30

This Good Place living our core values on the hilltop

When I came for my interview at Hackley in November 2006, doesn’t change the fact that this is EXACTLY what it was, I immediately sensed that Hackley was unlike the other and over the course of its four seasons, producer Mike schools I had visited. It was hard to put my finger on, but I Schur’s beautifully implausible brainchild offers, I think, remember thinking of the scene in Being There where a possible explanation for the way in which Theodore Chance (Peter Sellers) walks into the hyper-oxygenated room Williams’ Hackley came to be. of the dying Ben Rand (Melvyn Douglas). Having never encountered such rarified air before, Chance inhales deeply, “Enter Here to Be and Find a Friend” smiles, and says, “Ooooh. I feel good in here, Ben!” — the first of Hackley’s core values That was how I felt at Hackley — I felt good. Whole, embraced, known, content. In just my first day, I sensed that everything about Hackley—the people, the buildings, the lush greenery, the very rarified air up on the Hilltop— wanted me to become the best version of myself. Thus, when I learned that Hackley’s first headmaster Theodore Chickering Williams had intended from day one that Hackley be “a place where it should be easy to be good,” it just made sense to me. But if what I sensed was true, how did such a place come to be? It seemed to me that you couldn’t make people improve morally and ethically without a plan for character education; that said, how could any character education plan be successful if it wasn’t the product of an already good place? Bit of a Chickering-and-egg situation there. This past January, NBC ended its delightful sitcom about character education, The Good Place. Okay, no, it wasn’t billed as “a sitcom about character education,” but that

“...Someone Like Me as a Member” —the ninth episode of The Good Place In the first episode, the late Eleanor Shellstrop arrives in The Good Place, the place that all “good” people go. It’s paradise, and she knows there has been a mistake. She’s not good, and she doesn’t belong there. Knowing that, unless she can learn to pass as a good person she will be sent to The Bad Place, she asks the first friend she meets, Chidi, to teach her how to be good. But Eleanor’s mocking and selfishness make Chidi regret his decision to help and while she tries to make up for her behavior, she can’t truly begin to grow until she confronts her distrust of Chidi’s kindness. I often interpret the first of our Hackley core values as emphasizing individual responsibility over expectation: if you wish to find friendship, you must first ACT as a friend. You must BE the friend you hope to find. While I think this is true, over time I have come to realize that there’s much more embedded in that magnificent command.

“ A place where it should be easy to be good.” theodore chickering williams (first headmaster)

Cast members performing Shakespeare's The Comedy of Errors in Hackley's Performing Arts Center.

In my second year at Hackley, I bumped into a new boarding student and asked him how things were going in boarding. “Yeah, good, I’m relieved to say,” he told me. Why relieved? I asked. “Well, things didn’t have to be good,” he said. He explained that once he got beyond the structured activities of move-in day and orientation, all of which were great, he expected that once the adults weren’t looking, it would be different. He was worried about the first time he went to breakfast in the dining room all by himself. But, he says, “I got my food and I walked over to a table with these four other boarders sitting at it. I said, ‘Is it okay if I sit here?’ They looked at me like I was nuts. ‘You don’t have to ask,’ they said. ‘You just sit down.’ That’s when I knew it was going to be good.” The students were, of course, kind in letting him know he could sit at their table. But I also now see that the new student needed to ACCEPT the kindness and friendship offered to him — and that was brave. I remember another student who came to Hackley, unwillingly, at the insistence of his parents (his sister already attended), when all his friends from middle school were attending the local high school. “There’s nothing wrong with Hackley, Mr. McColl,” he’d say. “The kids here are all incredibly nice. They always include me in the stuff they do. The teachers are great as well. But I just don’t think I can be happy in school knowing my friends are at another school.” Time passed, and the student joined the basketball team. He softened, opened up to his teammates, and they became his brothers-in-arms. He laughed more, dropped his guard. The first day back from winter break, he poked his head in my office to say, “Hey, Mr. McColl, I wanted to let you know— I’m good now.” I now see that this young man came to Hackley, in part, unready to be a friend—unable at first to accept the friendship and inclusion that was being offered to him. Why might this be? Groucho Marx once famously remarked, “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” Our own latent sense of our unworthiness sometimes leads to initial suspicion of those who are kind to us, and we don’t accept the offers to be

included. We don’t take a seat at breakfast. We don’t think we belong in such a good place. But good places remain patient. They continue to offer and include. We know that those new to our place need time to trust the good in themselves that others know and embrace without doubt or question. Acceptance of others’ belief in us happens on different schedules for different people. Ultimately, it becomes easier to be the friend others see in us. It makes it easier for us to be “good now.” Until that time, though, all a good place can do is keep a friendly hand outstretched and wait. “Iuncti iuvamus (United, we help one another)” — the second of Hackley’s core values “The Trolley Problem” — the nineteenth episode of The Good Place By the second season of The Good Place, the core characters face the reality that they are each imperfect, but still worthy, and they realize that personal success is not success at all if it comes at the expense or loss of friends. One episode explores the challenges of making ethical decisions, as in the classic “Trolley Problem,” as framed by English philosopher Philippa Foot. If you are the driver of a trolley heading toward a group of four workmen who don’t see the trolley coming, would you remain on course and kill all of them, or switch tracks, where we would still kill a lone switchman working on that fork? How do we negotiate the nuances of the choices involved? One truth the Trolley Problem seeks to illustrate, I think, is that no matter what decisions we make about our behavior, they will have consequences for those around us. The Trolley Problem asks, “When we choose what we do, how are we thinking of other people?” A (possibly apocryphal) story about legendary Hackley coach Dave Allison illustrates this question beautifully. According to the story, when Dave coached girls’ soccer, he’d start each season bringing the team into the woods to find a felled tree. He’d instruct them to pick it up and begin walking with it. As they did, he explained that, should any one of them wish,

Right from top: Hackley Varsity Basketball players unite before a game; Hackley swimmers share a moment of celebration.

The Hack-Glee Club, singing the National Anthem at the Fall Sting.

they could stop carrying their weight—literally. They could keep their hand on the trunk but not support it. No one else would know. But, Dave would say, that’s not how a team succeeds. A team succeeds because everyone makes choices that contribute to that success. The Trolley Problem is all about the relative pain our decisions create—some are more destructive than others. Dave Allison’s variation on this theme allows for the variability of benefit: if I’m taller and stronger, I can choose to carry more of the log than others. No one will know except me, and I will do it because I know it will make things a little easier for the rest of my team. Dave was teaching his team that being good to one another, living in a good place, means understanding that lifting more or less of the tree doesn’t in and of itself make us “better” or “worse.” Good choices involve seeing our peers’ need of us on a spectrum and appreciating where they and we sit on that spectrum. Years ago I knew a girl who spent the first half of her year in Grade 8 math earning grades in the 70s and 80s. “Just once,” she told me, “I want to get an A.” One day in late January, it happened—I found her in the Dining Room jumping up and down, celebrating with her friends. “I got a 92!” she exclaimed as her friends hugged her and yelled. I knew most of those girls, and I strongly suspect that at least one of them did better on that test. But none of them said so.

Instead, they revelled in—and became a true part of—the girl’s success. They understood that accomplishment is relative: a 92 that culminates months of work can be worth more than the 98 that is easily earned. Her friends made the good choice to hide the lifting they had done, so that she could celebrate how far she had raised her side. I see this affection for and celebration of the individual all over Hackley: the audience hyperbolically cheering on a Coffeehouse performer who falters, the kind acknowledgement of great insights between students on a Middle School panel, the hugs from friends when the nervous Lower School performer nails her line in the Americana play. We are all of us small in ways and big in others, strong here and weak there. But schools, like The Good Place, are based on the idea that we all have the capacity to make ourselves better — and the best schools teach us all to take an interest in everyone’s capacity, to be curious about the aspirations of others. Seeing growth requires us to see one another’s starting points and stages of movement. Outward appreciation of what we see makes it much easier for us to be good—and better. “Go Forth and Spread Beauty and Light” — the fourth of Hackley’s core values “Help is Other People” “Whenever You’re Ready” — the forty-sixth and fifty-second episodes of The Good Place

Every person who leaves Hackley is one of our own stories with no ending. We send them off as the ultimate expression of faith. Not faith in them, for we’ve accepted since we met them that they are good (remember?). We send them as an expression of faith in ourselves — as faith in our communal effect. In the final season of The Good Place, the main characters learn how dangerous it can be to keep all the best people trapped in one place—it actually begins to erode their understanding of what goodness is. Ultimately, they realize they must redesign The Good Place itself to allow the best people, when they feel ready, to leave. In a beautiful final image, one of the main characters, as she leaves, causes a tiny drop of light to fall on another main character, ultimately helping him to realize his potential as a good person. At their best, places like Hackley, by virtue of being good, can lead to some sadness. After all, if we’re kind to those we’ve just met, if we’re patient with them until they begin to see how great we think they are, if we take the time to learn about who they want to be, if we restrain our own ambitions occasionally to allow others to fill some of that space, we will form deep powerful relationships. Because of this, when those we care about leave the Hilltop, we feel their loss and know that in some way, our community is diminished if they’re not among us. Schools, fundamentally, are in the business of creating new adults. We’re like parents in that respect. In fact, I learned recently that one ancient definition of the word “alumnus” was “foster son.” Our own vocabulary suggests that we see graduates as a kind of family. Unlike most parents, however, once students leave our care, we don’t have frequent checkins about their progress—rare are the phone calls, texts or FaceTimes to say how that exam went, whether they nailed that interview, if the lessons of high school helped with that difficult roommate. Douglas Adams used to tell a story about buying a tin of biscuits to eat while waiting for a train. He sat at a table with a stranger and ate the biscuits while he read his paper. The stranger ate the biscuits too. This infuriated Adams, but in his words, he was “too British” to confront him. Finally the man left. Moments later, Adams stood to board his train...

and saw the biscuits he’d purchased on the floor by his chair. He’d been eating the other man’s treats. What Adams loved most about this story was that somewhere in the world was another man with the same story—but no ending. Every person who leaves Hackley is one of our own stories with no ending. We send them off as the ultimate expression of faith. Not faith in them, for we’ve accepted since we met them that they are good (remember?). We send them as an expression of faith in ourselves—as faith in our communal effect. We trust that we’ve done enough, that we have provided enough opportunities for them to gather the beauty and the light they’ll need to spread into the world. If we’re unwilling to believe in our collective power for good, to appreciate the benefits the heady oxygen at the top of the Hilltop has on us, why should we expect those who arrive new to believe in it or in themselves? Put another way, if we didn’t send our students off to record jazz songs for contests or to teach English in Paris or to write powerful articles for NPR or to pursue PhDs in biology at Harvard or to intern at video game design companies or to produce award-winning podcasts on design and culture, we couldn’t sustain the good in our own community. The whole thing would unravel. Of course, when one has formed one’s own deep, powerful relationships, one finds it hard to leave, and I write this article as one preparing to take Hackley’s beauty and light with me across the world. Naturally, I’m sad about leaving, and I hope I fully appreciate all that Hackley has done for me and the ways it has helped me grow. It will be difficult to leave this extraordinary place and its incredible community. Still, I know I’m ready for my next chapter, and I know I’m ready because Hackley has worked so hard to make me a better version of myself. So it’s all okay. I’m in a good place.

F E AT U R E

By Suzy Akin

The Character of Joy A conversation with Ingrid Fetell Lee, Class of 1997, on the “value of a life marked by friendship, balance, and joy.”

Ingrid Fetell Lee can teach us a great deal about joy and why it matters. A successful designer, Ingrid is the author of Joyful: The Surprising Power of Ordinary Things to Create Extraordinary Happiness. As she explains in her TED talk, “Where Joy Hides and How to Find It,” her work led her to explore the sources of joy. Her efforts reveal that the experience of joy is intrinsic to our sense of who we are and how we live in the world, and to our ability to live a rich, accomplished life. That’s no small thing—and it resonates with Hackley’s mission to “challenge students to grow in character, scholarship, and accomplishment,” as well as the School’s Portrait of a Graduate, with concludes with the hope that the habits of accomplishment students form will reinforce “the immeasurable value of a life marked by friendship, balance, and joy.” There it is again: joy. It’s not something we hear much about in our achievement-oriented culture. We invited Ingrid to reflect on these ideals to see if we could better understand the connection between character, accomplishment, and this thing we call “joy.” Thinking about the way she has come to understand joy, Ingrid notes that while aspects of the physical world—a rainbow, the sight of a brightly colored hot air balloon—may elicit joy, the ramifications are deeply philosophical. “We have a tendency to dismiss the physical and the material,” she observes, noting that Descartes’ proclamation, “I think, therefore I am,” effectively divorced the mind from the body, and thereafter elevated reason above all things physical and emotional.

This fusing of mind and body is important, Ingrid observes, because without it “we've squeezed joy out of our culture.” Our fast-paced world, she points out, measures “value” and “achievement” with milestones. “We pursue happiness, and happiness is tied to milestones and achievement,” she says. “It's tied to getting married, buying a house, earning a promotion, having a baby. We see these big milestones in life as the things that are going to make us happy.” However, she reports, while we get a happiness boost from these achievements, that happiness subsides as we get used to the thing we’ve achieved, “and we start looking at the next thing that we want.” This matters, she says, because “We don't control the rewards. We don't control whether there's a global pandemic. We don't control if our company is giving out raises that year. We don't control fertility. When your happiness is tied to the achievement of milestones, it's very fragile.” There’s another problem, Ingrid says. “Paradoxically, in the pursuit of happiness, we often overlook joy. We put our heads down and we work and we work and we work,” putting off experiences that offer us joy. “When our parents want to have dinner, we say, ‘I can't this week.’ When our friends invite us to a party, we say, ‘I'm too tired.’ And when our hobbies start calling—the guitar sitting in the corner—we say, ‘I can't because I have to get to this other thing.’ We postpone joy because we tunnel in...and this closes life down.”

Left: Ingrid Fetell Lee ’97 Photo: Annabel Braithwaite for Belathée.

Yet research shows that the opposite approach is a much more effective way to find happiness. “When we stop overlooking moments of joy and allow ourselves to experience them, they tend to add up to greater happiness,” Ingrid notes. “There's lots of research that shows that when we pursue small moments of joy, we make better decisions. Managers make better decisions when they're in a joyful state of mind, doctors come to a correct diagnosis more quickly, and negotiators reach more ‘win-win’ agreements. We are actually better at our work.” It’s measurable—we are, she reports, 12% more productive in a state of joy. Allowing ourselves moments of joy leaves us less stressed out, less overloaded, and more resilient. Further, she observes, there is compelling research on the impact of joy on human connection. Moments of joy with our partners leads to greater trust, intimacy, and marital satisfaction. “When you start to add that up,” Ingrid says, “you have greater productivity at work, you have greater intimacy and trust in your relationships, you have greater resilience. And it starts to look a lot like happiness.” It also starts to look a lot like the aspiration of Hackley’s Portrait of a Graduate: “to reinforce the immeasurable value of a life marked by friendship, balance, and joy.” The idea of a life that has balance and joy written into it resonates deeply with her. “Otherwise,” Ingrid observes, “what we've seen is a generation focused on having high achievers who can’t connect with joy.” An educational program that prioritizes joy seems essential to our students’ well-being. Ingrid mused on Hackley’s emphasis on “character, scholarship, and accomplishment,” noting that “scholarship” is an essential part of the equation. “Part of the problem with our ‘hustle’ culture,” she says, “is that it often emphasizes achievement without scholarship. If you have character and scholarship, I think you could have a very meaningful life, where you study and you learn and you share,” even if it never earns the outward recognition society validates. Hackley’s definition of “accomplishment,” distinct from “achievement,” aligns with an older sense of what it means to be “accomplished”: possessing personal and moral courage, curiosity, and a sense of purpose that transcends the individual, and it is measured by the centrality in one’s life of friendship, balance, and joy. Ingrid came to Hackley in the second grade—a near “lifer”— and remembers nature walks with Mr. Retzloff that nurtured curiosity in a profound and lasting way. “Curiosity,”

she says, “was one of the defining things” of her Hackley education. Hackley is also where she learned the essential value of order and structure—and the understanding, so critical to her work as a designer, that creativity is not just the free flow of spirit. In her English classes with Mrs. Siviglia, she learned to appreciate writing skills as the “spine, the steel armature portion of the rest of the education. To this day, I write to think, not the other way around.” Mirroring the hands-on problem-solving she later learned in design classes at Pratt, Ingrid credits her ability to communicate clearly and rationally to the skills she honed at Hackley. Writing is a process of making things with your hands—even if your hands are on a keyboard. Writing, revising, writing it again. That effort is also a component of joy. Ingrid observes, “For me, accomplishment is doing something hard for the sake of doing it, because you believe that it'll help people, or because there's an answer you need to know.” Character, scholarship, and accomplishment. Ingrid reflects, “None of it has any meaning without character. To be successful as a human, I think you have to have a moral understanding of your responsibility as a human and your responsibility to other people.” She pauses. “Character is our moral being. Maybe the essence of it is this: character is knowing who you are and what you value.” Pausing again, she says, “The human experience can be a product of ever deepening self knowledge, or it can be one of skating across the surface. I think that everything else in our life gets richer when we continue to come to know ourselves better. And that project of getting to know yourself is a process of character building.” And with that, Ingrid connects character right back to joy. “They are mutually supportive,” she says. “Without character, you might not be able to experience the joy. Without joy, you wouldn't be able to access the character. I think we often see joy as irrelevant to character, like it’s this fluffy thing. But, I've learned that being a joyful person, someone who brings the energy up in a room, can be valuable to people in certain moments. We dismiss it, but that's a part of character too.” In Hackley’s first decade, founding Headmaster Theodore Chickering Williams created the Hackley campus so that there were places for study, places to gather, and places for quiet reflection. At his retirement, he wrote that people often told him “It must be easy to be good, up here,” to which he replied, “That is what we have tried for: to make a place

Photo: Annabel Braithwaite for Belathée

Clockwise from left: Ingrid Fetell Lee ’97; Ingrid's book, which is now available in 15 languages, with 10 more to come; examples of elements from Ingrid's ethos that evoke joy—a brightly colored set of books, a pop of color in a white space.

While this focus on joy may seem countercultural, Ingrid perceives a tremendous receptivity to the idea, even a need. “I'm constantly hearing from people who say, ‘Yes, this is what I need right now.’ It is by no means the mainstream view, but there are people who are hungry for it. They’re saying, hey, I'm tired. Why does it have to be so hard?” But Ingrid believes that “you can make it ‘easy to be good.’” “A lot of what I talk about is that ease can be a path to success,” she says. “Laughter can be a path to success. Laughter and ease can bring us success and yet that's not their purpose. The purpose is joy for its own sake. And that's okay.”

Photos: Ingrid Fetell Lee

where it should be easy to be good.” Mr. Williams’ words seemed to anticipate Hackley’s intention, over 100 years later, “to reinforce the immeasurable value of a life marked by friendship, balance, and joy.”

end note By Cyndy Jean, Director of the Middle School

“We are Hackley School…Just Now Online” view videos of music or dance arrangements done using tools such as Zoom. These reminders and videos signal the humanity of these challenging times. We have to choose each other first. It is the only way we will build the resilience needed to push through, even when we can’t physically be in the same space as one another. Choosing each other will be what enables us to find successes in learning even when we are facing new, uncharted territory like remote learning.

This spring as we practiced self-isolation, it felt that everyone — family, friends, even strangers — was working overtime to promote positivity. Every social media post, email signature, and text message seem to echo the same sentiment — “hang in there,” “we’re in it together,” “practice gratitude.” I often have to take a step back to fully appreciate the historic nature of the COVID-19 pandemic in our lives. Though some may recall living through similar economic or health scares, our students would not have had a comparable memory. But while our youngest scholars may not fully understand the impact of the Coronavirus, they will remember the time they could not return to school, when they could only reconnect with their beloved teachers and friends through a screen. I have been fortunate, however, to witness the inherent strength of our community, as planning for an alternative form of teaching as a result of social distancing has brought out only the absolute best in our faculty and staff. I have seen my colleagues step up to the challenge, from the moment Director of Instructional Technology Erich Tusch shared plans to help us reimagine how instruction could happen through digital platforms to the ways our tech department processed and delivered devices so all 840 students within our school could learn from home. I’ve watched in awe as administrative assistants engaged in professional development to learn how to carry out their responsibilities remotely and faculty plan virtual lessons for students of varying abilities and ages within their discipline. The sheer work and dedication on the part of every person responsible for our students’ acquiring knowledge during these weeks have been a testament to what resilience looks like in action. The heart of who Hackley School is can be found in our community members. Every individual on the Hilltop makes Hackley School the place we have come to love. We are Hackley School; we are now just simply bringing Hackley School online. Perhaps you have heard of the movements to applaud the medical professionals working on the front lines to care for those who have fallen ill. Or maybe you’ve had a chance to

In her The New Yorker titled, “Finding Connection and Resilience During the Coronavirus Pandemic,” author Robin Wright talks about hardship bringing out creativity in people. I certainly feel that I have witnessed our faculty exercise creativity as they reimagine advisory and plan their lessons. We found creative ways to bring a seven-day rotating schedule into a five-day academic calendar. Lower School teachers are finding creative ways to bring our youngest scholars together throughout the day, and department chairs are guiding their faculty through a new world of assessments and project-based learning online. We have gained so much by way of new knowledge and skills as educators — and I am grateful for it. As the article warns, we may have to think differently about our practices and rituals. The ways we have always engaged may not be in our favor moving forward. We are tasked with using our creativity to think about interacting with others, even learning, in a different way. There may be some great learnings that come from this experience influencing how we reach our students and set our objectives. But let’s never forget that it’s our connection to one another that makes us whole, even if that connection takes different forms from time to time. What lessons will we retain that will help us to be stronger and better as a result? Might we adopt the footshake as a greeting instead of the handshake moving forward? I’m sure my middle schoolers wouldn’t mind trying it out! I’d like to share some lines from one of my favorite poems by Maya Angelou. When remote learning presents its challenges, when our students miss the pace of their classes and the connections with their peers, when we are mourning even one precious day without our seniors, I want to ask you to remember these lines. Hopefully, it will get you through just as it has gotten me through. “Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still I’ll rise.” Still I Rise, by Maya Angelou

View more Hackley Perspectives at: medium.com/hackley-perspectives

EVERY STUDENT, EVERY DAY United, We Help One Another has never resonated more as one of our core values than it does now. These are challenging times for us all, and the future has never felt so unpredictable. The need to adapt fast to our changing reality is more important than ever. It is because of the strength of our Annual Fund that we have been able to keep all of our employees on payroll and to meet our financial obligations with vendors. The Annual Fund also provides necessary support to families who are facing financial hardship, which has only become more critical during these uncertain times. We understand that these are challenging times for many in our community, but if you can contribute to the Annual Fund, please do by making a gift online at www.hackleyschool.org/giving. As we continue to spread beauty and light, we will get through this moment together.

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