Sunday Times Magazine

Sunday

Times July 28, 2013

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Uncovering indigenous historyPage 3

2 Times Sunday Magazine

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july 28, 2013

Times Feature

Making a dream a reality T

he Linden Dream Team (LDT) is a group of uniqueminded individuals who all share the same values, passion and commitment.

They are all equally interested in serving Guyana through various outreach community engagement projects.

LDT history

In an interview with Guyana Times Sunday Magazine, Donette Adams, chairwoman of the group, said LDT, a non-profit organisation based in Brooklyn, New York, was founded in August 2011 by a group of dedicated young adults who wanted to give back to the community that contributed to their growth and success thus far in their lives.

“Our mission is to contribute towards the redevelopment of Linden through long-term sustainable, challenging educational initiatives, actively serving and caring for the elderly generation and continuously conducting researches that will provide economical and social productivity along with community revitalization, as well as preserving intercul-

LDT volunteers provide a feast for the older folks in Linden during the annual senior citizens luncheon

tural values,” Adams outlined.

Guided by its motto, “Vibrant Leaders Molding a Better Tomorrow”, the goal of LDT is to work collaboratively with volunteers within and outside of the United States to spur fundamental social change that will lead to academic achievement and economic empowerment.

Vital projects

One of the group’s current projects, the “Rising Star Essay Competition”, invited six secondary schools within Linden to compete in the event. Students were selected based on their academic performance such as those who have excelled and those with potential to improve; their attendance and their dedication towards their school and community. All participants in attendance were honoured with a framed certificate and other personalised items.

Adams said that this competition presented an ideal opportunity for participants to be a part of a programme that was attended by great leaders from the Linden community and around Guyana.

Additionally, there is the CXC student fee-waiver project, and also visiting the Linden Disabled Centre where volunteers help to educate and merge the disable community to feel equally accepted in society. During the visit to the centre, LDT

members distributed backpacks filled with school supplies, and categorised enhancement tools according to student needs. Uniform

that everyone, regardless of physical attributes or ability, should be valued equally in society. Our visit and contributions therefore

and staff spoke volumes – it was simply priceless!”

Adams exclaimed.

Another project of note is the annual senior citizens luncheon where volunteers show their appreciation for those who are the backbone of their community. Furthermore, for more than seven years, LDT has hosted one of the most anticipated fundraising theme events during the Linden Town Week celebration. This event is held to raise funds that help to offset the past and current costs of community-based projects throughout the Linden community.

One of the group’s future projects is the community beautification initiative where they will involve all, holding everyone accountable for the aesthetics of their community. LDT plans to carry out this project successfully by having a community sector cleanup competition and establish a recreation-

Volunteers advertising the work of the Linden Dream Team

material for the 2013 school year, story books, catered lunch and desserts were provided for all students.

“We strongly believe

demonstrate our commitment to the entire community of Linden. Moreover, being able to see the smiles on the faces of the children

A student in Linden is happily awarded LDT 'Rising Star' 2013

al centre that will provide educational and self-development opportunities for both adults and children.

Adams stated that it will be an oasis that will provide comfort, growth, stability, and a sense of belonging for all.

“We believe that in order to know where you want to go you need to have a dream and vision, and we are committed in making them come alive. Funding for projects undertaken by the Linden Dream Team is derived primarily from donations. Therefore, as we continue to receive help from friends who believe and support the organisation’s mission, we are also reaching out to others for help. We are especially interested in sponsors for our fundraising events throughout the year.

However, donations of any kind are welcomed. We can assure you that when you support any of our ventures you are helping us to attain our goal of helping those in great need,” Adams urged.

For more information on this group visit Linden Dream Team on Facebook.

guyanatimesgy.com

july 28, 2013

Times Sunday Magazine

Times Focus

Uncovering indigenous history The Dennis Williams Archaeology Field School 2013 team unearths 13 sites of centuriesold human remains, ceramics, precious minerals and tools in the Rupununi region

INSIDE Berbice Male Action Network

The opportunity to survey within a large landscape unit proved extremely valuable in the team’s efforts to define the range of prehistoric adaptations in the region. Their first Pg 4 task was the description of new sites in the area as a basis for recommendations regarding their protection The Shaping of and further study.

Guyanese Literature The team’s survey of the Karanambo ranch yielded a total of 13 new sites including habitation Pg 6 sites with evidence of pottery and several lithic (stone) reduction sites.

Louisa disclosed that these sites were extensive and appeared to be unlike any other site of this type reported by previous researchers. Two housePg 14 Lata structure sites were also located on the survey and one site included 19th Mangeshkar century historic materials indicating to get first colonial contact.

Yash Chopra Unearthed also were human remains said to be of three females and Memorial Award one male, while the other could not be determined; all of which were between the ages of 20 - 38 years.

“With the assistance of informants and guides, both systematic and intuitive survey strategies would be employed where appropriate and feasible. Field documentation will include the use of notebooks, standardized survey forms and photographic docuPg 21 mentation. Sites will be located using topographic sheets with locations established using GPS units to record UTM coordinates. Sites and Pg 22 features will be mapped and diagnostic artefacts collected.

As such, we will continue to explore Guyana in an effort to preserve the country’s rich and diverse culture,” the anthropologist declared.

Louisa said this year’s programme accommodated seven students, including students from the ture work in the field, in the event of major University of Guyana. The programme, project or to assist archaeologists in future she pointed out, aims to foster capac- research if the need arise and for additional ity building by introducing partici- human resources with the field experience,” pants to the field of archaeology and she mentioned. data collection methods (field techAt the end of the programme, the Walter niques).

Roth Museum of Anthropology facilitated a “We were also pleased to have fa- public talk where the findings were reportcilitated five students from Region Nine ed and certificates of participation were issince there is increasing need for human re- sued to participants. This year’s particisources in this region to locate and or iden- pants included Travon Biard, Nankomari tify archaeology for protection and future Singh, Marcelia Xavier, Roseanna Xavier, research. By providing this form of field Francine Merriman, Devon Merriman ad training, we are preparing students for fu- Denton Merriman.

The Future of Children’s Literature V

T

The team analysing human remains from the Pakarima Mountains

he Dennis Williams Archaeology Field School 2013 team, instructed by Dr. M. Plew, an archaeologist attached to the Boise State University, and anthropologist from the Walter Roth Museum, Louisa Daggers, conducted an exploration within the vicinity of Karanambo Ranch in the South Rupununi (Region Nine) for eight days in July, and was thrilled to discover just over a dozen historical sites in the region.

The Rupununi savannah accounts for nearly half of the national territory of Guyana where the archaeology of the area remains relatively unexplored. A range of chipped stone tools including projectile points, and features that include rock alignments, rock circles and rock piles, were all previously identified in the area. The region is also characterized by the presence of polissoirs and petroglyphs.

On the basis of associated historic items and the assumption that the Rupununi Phase was associated with the historic Makushi and Wapishana, previous archaeologists concluded that the phase dated from the end of the 18th century. In this regard they viewed settlement of the savanStone nah as a tools post-European phenomenon.

In an interview with Guyana Times Sunday Magazine, Louisa noted that the material culture of the Rupununi Phase includes a range of chipped and ground stone artefacts that are made predominately from syenite, quartzite, sandstone and felsites; these include anvils, grooved axes, choppers, hammer stones, hoes, manos, metates, cores and flakes and two-stone bowl fragments. More prominently represented are pottery vessels and shards of the Kanuku and Rupununi Plain types. She added that the pottery, which is found in a variety of surface colours within a range of orange to reddish orange to reddish brown, is characterised by three forms.

The anthropologist noted that the recent work in the vicinity of Yupukari and Toka villages has also cast light on the nature of Rupununi occupations. In and around the village of Toka, polissoirs, similar to those at Imprenza on the Sauriwau River, were said to be a mountain top village with

cooking areas and a range of decorated and painted ceramics. In addition, a new type of cemetery characterised by earthen and stone mounds was recorded, as were petroglyphs on Banuni Creek south of Toka.

“Though much additional work will be required to establish the broader parameters of the economic and settlement diversity of the Rupununi, it is clear that substantial variation exists and should prove through further investigation to enhance our understanding of the cultural adaptations of Amerindian peoMobai Hill ples in the potter shards savannahs,” Louisa expressed.

3

Art inspired by life and nature

The Amerindian hammock

Dennis Williams Archaeology Field School 2013 team

4

Times Sunday Magazine

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july 28, 2013

Times Feature

Berbice Male Action Network With the mission to combat gender-base violence, the Berbice Male Action Network (BeMAN) organisation is persistently working to educate men on being role models in their communities

B

eMAN, says group president Desmond Nelson, who is a Berbice social worker at the Ministry of Human Services and past teacher for more than 17 years, started after the launch of the “No More Black and Blue” campaign, an initiative of the Ministry of Human Services in 2010.

“We started engaging men across the Berbice area in dealing with issues pertaining to relationships, gender-based violence, conflict resolution, anger management and others. This group was called the Men’s Forum, which lasted for two years. After that came to end in February 2011, we launched the Berbice Male Action Network,” he stated.

There are several activities of the group working primarily with men. BeMAN holds talks in schools with male students, addressing issues such as anger management, and visits the prisons, working with men within the prison system in an effort to reintegrate them into society. According to Nelson, there are manuals they work with to ensure that the reintegration is successfully done.

Currently, there are 35 in the group that meets quarterly. The members are men from various sectors of society. Some are professionals, from religious groups, and business executives. Nelson said there are seminars and workshops done on a regular basis for men. There is also a Berbice television programme that televises the group’s work.

“This is a very vibrant group in Berbice. Many see our work and they approach us to join... Those who want to join are given manuals and are trained to help other men. There are two fractions of the group in Berbice that effectively carry out the organisation’s work,” Nelson said.

He noted that there are many factors responsible for the violence, such as poverty.

“I have seen this personally.

Persons become angry because they do not have. We need to look

Skeldon Hospital.

Sharma cited case after hospital case where women were beaten, stabbed and abused by their spouses, husbands and boyfriends whom, unfortunately, these women often defend by lying about their injuries. At the gathering, she encouraged the audience to seek help and to “stand up and speak out against violence.”

Pastor Katryan from the Roadside Baptist Skills Training Centre in Berbice emphasized the need for education and awareness at all levels, especially of girls who need to be so empowered that they do not have to live with abuse. He summoned a wakeup call for all to take note of the many children not attending school and to make every effort to make the necessary interventions to help them.

In his address, Gangadeen commended BeMAN for their initiative, and stressed the need for good parenting skills and relationships.

Nelson shared that future marches would be planned in dif-

Male students of Berbice rallying with BeMAN against gender-based violence

at how we orient our boys. Parents tell them they are not supposed to cry; that they need to “man-up”.

This results in pent-up anger in some of them. Inevitably, when that child becomes a man he will act it out at some point. We really need to address this. We also need to look at how they are socialized.

If they grow up seeing the father is being dominant and the mother not being able to speak out and is subjected to him then that’s the attitude they will have when they get their own families,” he stated.

Nelson is proud of the group’s work, and related one of many success stories.

“A man had called in to our programme. After the programme concluded, our group was apBeMAN's rally in Berbice

Nelson addressing a group of women about BeMAN's work in Berbice

proached by a man who identified himself as the person who had called. He told us he wanted to share his story with us. He admitted he was an abuser because of his military background. His rigorous training taught him to be tough.

Later in his life he started using drugs and abused his wife. He and his wife eventually were separated and he got angry at everybody except himself. After listening to the programme he realised he was the problem, and now I’m happy to say he is an active and reliable member of our group,” Nelson recalled.

In promoting their work, BeMAN recently staged a Berbice rally against all forms of violence; emphasising gender-based violence which they view as a “silent cancerous plague destroying the moral fabric of family life.”

The march, from the Skeldon Post Office to the Scottsburg recreational ground, culminated with addresses by Ganesh Gangadeen, representing Corriverton IMC chairman Bhawase Harripaul, Pastor Katryan and Dr Sharma of

ferent communities until the entire Region Six is covered. He expressed appreciation to Roadside Baptist for the tremendous support for the activity, to the police for their cooperation, and to East Berbice Life Savers and the # 65 Shree Krisnha Mandir for joining in the venture.

BeMAN is calling on the law to take note of the many illegal bottom-house rum shops, the noise nuisance at almost every corner and under the nose of police stations, the excessive consumption of alcohol encouraged by those who sell even to under-aged children, the continued upsurge of drugs seemingly easily available, and the increase in youth and other forms of violence related to substance abuse.

The president outlined that the group’s plan is to expand. He urges communities to start such groups in their communities and join BeMAN in its crusade against gender-based violence.

For more information on BeMAN call 338-4215 or 338-4213.

guyanatimesgy.com

july 28, 2013

Times Sunday Magazine 5

Times Women

‘The rewards are well worth the challenges’

R

Nan Mattai

ockwell Collins is a pioneering company in the design, production and support of innovative solutions for customers in aerospace and defence, located in the U.S. Among Rockwell Collins’ suite of senior vice presidents, Guyanese-born Nan Mattai is the only woman.

In both Rockwell Collins and the broader field of engineering, women make up 13 percent of the workforce.

“Just the thought that something I say or do may change a life inspires me to be the best I can be,” Mattai, senior vice president for engineering and technology, wrote in an email interview with journal Corridor Business. “So, as a successful woman in a traditionally male-dominated field, I will try to share my story and experiences to inspire the next generation of women engineers.”

Mattai was born in Georgetown, Guyana, and was inspired to become a research professor by the pioneering female scientist Madame Curie. Mattai received a bachelor’s degree in physics and math from the University of Guyana and a master’s degree in physics from the University of Windsor, in Canada. She then moved to southern California, a hotspot for the aerospace industry, with her husband Roy, who is also an engineer.

“The Sunday Los Angeles Times often had multiple pages of job openings for all types of engineers. My husband and many of our friends who worked in the industry spoke of the technologically challenging work, good pay, opportunities to

advance and great benefits packages,” she wrote of her decision to pursue engineering. “I was fascinated by the work; just seeing something you designed actually work in the real world was very satisfying.”

Her goal was never to become a key leader in a company like Rockwell Collins.

“From a leadership perspective, I just wanted to be the best engineer I could be,” Mattai wrote. “I was fortunate that my leaders recognized my leadership potential and encouraged me to consider technical leadership. Once I got into my first leadership position and realized that I could have a much broader impact, a deeper understanding of the business strategies and more connectivity to the big picture, I knew I had found my dream job.”

She joined Rockwell Collins in 1993 as a software engineer, and took on positions of increasing responsibility before being promoted to vice president of government systems engineering in 2001 and her current role in 2004.

In her position, Mattai oversees the company’s 8,000 engineering employees around the world, along with nearly $1 billion in research and development investments.

In that role, she has to work to keep the 80-year-old company on the cutting edge of innovation. That means, after recruiting top talent, the leadership team has to give them room to fail.

“We emphasize that innovation is about teamwork,” she wrote. “It requires knowledge sharing and openness. It takes peo-

Guyana-born engineer Nan Mattai breaks through engineering glass ceiling and strives to encourage young girls in the field

Mattai (left) interacts with young students

ple working together across different groups, disciplines and organizational lines to make this happen.”

Mattai is no stranger to awards for her influence as a female engineer.

In 2012, she was named Aviation magazine’s firstever Woman of the Year.

Other recent awards include recognition as one of “100 women in STEM” by STEMConnector in 2012, a woman in technology award for innovation and leadership in large companies from the Technology Association of Iowa in 2010, and being named a “Woman Worth Watching” in aerospace in Diversity Journal in 2009.

“Mattai’s personal passion is to connect women in engineering and technical roles in the aerospace industry to each other, essentially allowing her to provide the role models and mentoring that she didn’t have when she started her career 30 years ago,” wrote Cindy Dietz, Rockwell Collins’ director of corporate communications, in her nomination of Mattai.

Mattai is active in the company’s engineering outreach activities, such as Introduce a Girl to Engineering Day, which brought 100 middle school girls to the company’s Cedar Rapids headquarters last month for a hands-on engineering activity and a chance to hear from female leaders in the field. Rockwell Collins prioritizes reaching out to middle school girls because research shows that most decide if they are “good enough” to pursue a career in science and math around that age. The company also

is active on university campuses across the nation and works to provide opportunities to women beginning their careers there, through groups such as the women’s forum.

While accepting the Woman of the Year award from Aviation, Mattai said the greatest challenges fac-

ing women in engineering include finding worklife balance, gaining access to management responsibilities and communicating their value. These were all challenges she faced personally, she said. While both Mattai and her husband were working as engineers, they raised two sons, Andy

and Neil.

“My advice would be to always be yourself, challenge yourself, continually develop and hone your skill sets and never shy away from a tough assignment,” she wrote. “The rewards are well worth the challenges.”

(Source: www.corridorbusiness.com)

6 Times Sunday Magazine

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july 28, 2013

Times Book World

The Shaping of Guyanese Literature

The Future of Children’s Literature V

By Petamber Persaud

“Kofi Baadu: out of Africa” by Walter Rodney.

First published in 1980, reprinted by the Guyana Book Foundation 2004

A

s we continue to look at children’s literature, and as Emancipation Day anniversary (August 1) approaches, it would be timely to revisit the book, “Kofi Baadu: out

of Africa”. In looking at this book, we would see how a brilliant historian is able to harness and package his research/knowledge in such a way as to be understood by young readers.

To young readers, this book on enslaved Africans brings clarity coloured with adventure, and numerous illustrations/photographs gluing them to the story. The connectivity factors here are adventure and pictures. It is

paramount when writing for children that we make that connection early, to whet the appetite and maintain the interest of children. Rodney did this with the ease of a griot.

Rodney knew the importance and value of history. Further, Rodney knew the importance and value of writing our own history against the distortions peddled by colonial masters who reported a history through

a conqueror/vanquish relationship.

And Rodney knew the importance of reading; he discovered that at a young age. This lesson he learnt while at secondary school (Queen’s College). He made the National Library his second home from where he started a tentative dialogue with local, regional and international thinkers. This reading eventually led to his writing, expanding the dia-

Walter Rodney (March 23, 1942 – June 13, 1980)

logue for present and future generations as he matured from scholarship to scholarship.

When the time was ripe, he sought to include children in the process of “probing the text”; in an extraordinary and rare move by any academic anywhere, Rodney distilled his thoughts in such children’s books like “Kofi Baadu: out of Africa” and “Lakshmi: out of India”.

“Kofi Baadu: out of Africa”, “Lakshmi: out of India” and related works (“Fung-A-Fat: out of China”, “Adriaan Hendricks: out of Holland”, and “Joao Gomes: out of Madeira”) were birthed “so that the children, at least, might better understand themselves and each other”. How very perceptive of the man – understanding among babes, and making changes starting at a young age.

In this booklet, “Kofi Baadu: out of Africa”, Rodney recreates the story of “a single involuntary migrant” from Africa to Guyana. Although it is a fictionalised account of someone named Kofi Baadu, “it is located within a context of names, dates, episodes and other references which are authentic. The social settings are accurate, and the circumstances which explain Kofi Baadu's departure from his homeland were typical for enslaved Africans”.

The book illustrates “some aspects of the history and culture of West Africa, and more particularly, of the area now called Ghana”.

Ghana is most important to the story and the history of subjugated and enslaved Africa as revealed nearing the end of the book on page 31.

Ghana “was in the vanguard of liberation struggle in Africa. Its independence ...in 1958 marked the beginning of the end of colonial rule throughout the African continent”.

The book opens with the following heading: “Kofi Baadu born 1652, arrived Guyana 1698”. It is divided into ten subheadings: “In captivity”; “The extended African family”; “Trading

in West African”; “Ashante – the political kingdom”; “Justice and the people”; “The Ashante Priesthood”; “Death and burial”; “Slavery and African politics” and “Postscript”.

These ten subheadings give an elaborate background (taking up 30-odd pages) of Kofi Baadu before he is shipped out of Africa, but devote less than thirty words of his impending arrival in Guyana.

There are numerous suggestions to act on and lessons to be drawn from each page.

For instance, on page five, we learn of the African’s respect for knowledge... “(i) gnorance is weakness”, and on the same subject, on page 13, “(n)ot to know is bad, but not to wish to know is worse”. On another subject, on page seven, we find how useful it is to show respect for ancestors and elders.

Later, on page 11, we learn how the Ashante “weavers unravelled silk thread to produce the marvellous Kente cloths”.

“Myths”, (p.16), “are sometimes essential in the lives of a people”. Two pages later, we learn about the importance of symbols and about “Kwaku Ananse, the legendary spider”, [who] “could outwit any animal of superior strength – including giants like the lion and the elephant”.

And on the subject of governance, on page nineteen there is “an old Ashante saying that governing people was like holding an egg. In other words – it was a most delicate matter, and without care the whole thing would fall and smash to pieces”.

The book holds other meanings for us as children and adult like: “(E)verything made by the Akan had a surface appeal and a deeper meaning” (p. 20). This quick glance at “Kofi Baadu” is mainly about the surface appeal. For the deeper meaning you will have to study the book.

Responses to this author telephone (592) 226-0065 or email: oraltradition2002@ yahoo.com

guyanatimesgy.com

july 28, 2013

Times Sunday Magazine 7

Times Feature

Young Professionals

Star of the week

Public Relations Manager

By Vahnu Manikchand

W

hen people hear the name Shonnet Moore, some think about the vibrant face of Capitol News a decade ago, while others remember her as the stunning queen who won the Miss Jamzone title a few years back. But the recent generation may know her as the “DIGICEL girl”.

At the age of 26, Moore is currently public relations manager for telecommunication company DIGICEL Guyana Inc; a job she enjoys immensely, and worked hard to earn.

Growing up in Alberttown with her parents and young sister, Moore generally had a normal childhood. However, it was her secondary school days attending St Rose’s that really paved the path for her as she was an outgoing character, involved in organizing events at the school. Moore had thought then of becoming a lawyer, but changed her mind after finishing high school.

Completing ‘A’ Levels at Queens College, Moore immediately began working as reporter and anchor at Capitol News for three years. She said through this exposure she developed an enthusiasm for the job and began to take a great interest in communications.

Moore continued her stint in the media at News 2, where she worked for a year as editor before leaving. She then went on to work at Tagman Inc. There, she said, she managed the DIGICEL account, during which time she discovered her niche in public relations.

“I think working in the media has proven to be the foundation of my PR career, so I would credit my experience in the media for the all the success I have in public relations,” she revealed.

While working at Tagman in 2007, Moore began her bachelor’s in international relations at the University of Guyana, which she completed in 2011. By this time, Moore had landed a job with the regional telephone company as its PR manager, aposition she has held since 2010.

In 2012, she went on to pursue a master’s in business administration at the Australian Institute of Business and also become specialized in marketing management. Moore said that she continues to look for ways to expand her career in marketing.

Apart from her professional and academic achievements, Moore also dabbled in pageantry, and won Miss Guyana Talented Teen 2003 and was Miss Jamzone 2005. She recalled that earlier she had won Miss St Rose’s pageant, and her teachers and classmates encouraged her to enter the Talented Teen pageant.

“I wanted to show my talent and so I did a dramatic poetry, and from this experience, I felt more empowered and my self esteem was heightened,” she recalled.

She won Miss Jamzone while working at Capitol News.

However this was the end of pageantry for her since her focus then shifted to her career.

Moore has been constantly involved in volunteering and charity work. She worked with Habitat for Humanity Guyana; was online volunteer coordinator for UN Online Volunteer Seeds Theatre Group, Papua New Guinea, and more recently, volunteered at the Mahaica Children's Home.

Moore’s next step is something new: she has been recruited as facilitator for the MBA programme ‘Strategic Marketing and Marketing Communication’ at Nations University. She expressed her excitement at her new venture and thinks that this would help enhance her marketing skills.

She advises young people preparing for the world of work: “Never allow fear to get in the way of you realising your dreams.

Nurture your talent, enhance your skills and never stop learning.”

Moore also divulged that becoming a lawyer still dwells in her heart and she hopes someday to pursue international law as her next academic venture.

C

hristopher Henry Gayle, born Sept. 21, 1979 in Kingston, Jamaica, known as Chris Gayle, the left handed West Indies opener, and as “Crampy” in his childhood Rollington Town neighbourhood, is one of the world’s most sought-after cricketers today.

He is the world-record holder in Twenty20s, with a highest score of 175. He also created a number of world records in the Indian Premier League (IPL), and will be seen in action at the CPL slated from July 30 –Aug 24.

According to cricinfo, over two seasons - 2011 and 2012 - of the IPL, Gayle easily became the most feared batsman of the league, smashing more hundreds and sixes than any other batsman, by far. When he carted Pune Warriors all over the ground to score an unbeaten 175 in IPL 2013, it felt right that he should finally own the record for highest individual score, fastest century, and most sixes in a Twenty20 innings, because no batsman has dominated Twenty20 cricket like he has.

It is said that living near the historic Lucas Cricket Club in Jamaica played a role in the future West Indies captain opting for cricket, and he has always credited the club for keeping him off the streets.

It was while representing Lucas that the young Gayle began to make his mark in the cricketing world. According to Indian Express, a notice board at Lucas is filled with paper-cuttings and pictures of its most eminent modern-day product.

In his home town he is known simply as “da Boss”. You can watch da Boss in action during the Guyana leg of the CPL.

8 Times Sunday Magazine

guyanatimesgy.com

july 28, 2013

Times Kids Page

Did you know?

Aardvark

T

he aardvark (Orycteropus afer) lives throughout Africa, south of the Sahara. Their name comes from South Africa's Afrikaans language and means "earth pig."

Aardvarks are nocturnal. They spend the hot afternoon holed up in cool underground burrows dug with their powerful feet and claws that resemble small spades. After sunset, aardvarks put those claws to good use in acquiring termites —their favourite food.

While foraging in grasslands and forests aardvarks, also called "antbears," may travel several miles a night in search of large, earthen termite mounds.

The aardvark digs through the hard shell of a promising mound with its front claws and uses its long, sticky, wormlike tongue to feast on the insects within.

It can close its nostrils to keep dust and insects from invading its snout, and its thick skin protects it from bites. It uses a similar technique to raid underground ant nests.

Dot to Dot

A

n aardvark's tongue can be up to 12 in (30.5 cm) long and is sticky to help extract termites from the earthen mounds.

Not only do aardvarks resemble a pig, but appear to include rabbit-like ears and a kangaroo-like tail as well.

In African folklore, the aardvark is much admired because of its diligent quest for food and its fearless response to soldier ants.

The objective of the game is to fill all the blank squares in a game with the correct numbers. Every row of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order. Every column of 9 numbers must include all digits 1 through 9 in any order. Every 3 by 3 subsection of the 9 by 9 square must include all digits 1 through 9.

please see solution on page 22

Colouring Fun

guyanatimesgy.com

july 28, 2013

Times Sunday Magazine 9

AMAZING

SEA CREATURES

The Atlantic flying fish is capable of gliding up to 300 feet (90m) at 5 feet (1.5 m) above the ocean. It stays in the air for about 10 seconds.

By Laurie Triefeldt

Longfin squid grow up to 18.5 inches (47 cm) and are found in the North Atlantic.

The greater blue-ringed octopus grows to about 5 inches (12 cm) and has enough venom to kill a human.

Moon jellyfish grow as large as 18 inches (45 cm) in diameter.

Huge populations are The poisonous commonly found in Lionfish (15 warm, tropical waters. inches, 38 cm) is found in shallow waters of the Indian and Pacific oceans.

Weedy seadragons grow up to 18 inches long (46 cm). Found off the southern coast of Australia, these spiny, fishlike creatures are related to sea urchins and sand dollars and resemble tiny horses or dragons.

Shrimp are an important food for many fish and a valuable commercial catch.

These crustaceans come in a variety of colors and sizes.

Octopuses belong to the mollusk family, which includes clams, oysters and snails. There are about 100 species. Some live in shallow water, others live in the deep. As a means of defense, the octopus can discharge an inky fluid; it can also change color to match its surroundings or to scare a predator.

The hammerhead shark is 13 to 20 feet (4 to 6 m) long and can be found in warm, tropical oceans. It feeds mostly on fish and rays. It is aggressive and may attack humans if provoked.

Most squid have light-producing organs called photopores, and some can eject a glowing cloud of ink.

The skate is considered to be a valuable commercial species, caught for food. They feed on fish, crabs, lobster and octopus.

Skates live in depths from 98 to 9,800 feet (3,000 m) and grow to about 8 feet (2.4m) wide.

The hawksbill sea turtle is an endangered species 3 feet (1 m) in length, which has been hunted for its beautiful carapace (shell).

Roughie can be found at depths of 3,300 feet (1,000m) in the North Atlantic.

They grow to about 11 inches (30cm).

The Opah is a shy, rarely seen fish found at depths of 330 to 1,300 feet (100400 m). It can grow to 5 feet (1.5 m) and weigh up to 161 pounds (73 kg).

There are many types of deep-sea anglerfish.

Most are black and have “lures” called illicium growing from their heads. Some are light-producing.

The Atlantic football fish is a deepsea angler found at depths of 980 ft.

(300m). Females reach about 2 feet (60 cm) long. It uses the lure on its forehead to attract prey.

The illuminated netdevil is a small deep-sea angler that grows up to 3 inches (77 mm).

Deep-sea anglerfish, Bufoceratias wedli

There are eight kinds of viperfish in the world’s oceans. They are able to swallow large prey.

The oarfish is the longest bony fish in the sea. It can grow to more than 55 feet (17 m) and weigh as much as 100 pounds (45 kg). Ancient stories about sea serpents were probably based on sightings of these strange animals.

The Portuguese man-of-war floats on a gasfilled blue, pink or purple translucent body 3 to 12 inches (9 to 30 cm) long.

Although it looks like a jellyfish, it is not. It is a siphonophore — a colony of many creatures called zooids. The manof-war’s stinging tentacles can grow up to 156 feet (50m) long.

Its poison won’t kill a human, but the sting is painful.

The moray eel is found near rocky shores and reefs. It can grow to 4 feet (1.3 m).

Known to be an aggressive predator, this eel will bite people if disturbed.

Ratfish are also known as chimaeras.

They live in deep waters, feeding on starfish, mollusks and crustaceans.

Ratfish can grow to about 3 feet (1 m).

The snipe eel is a deep-sea fish found at depths of 3,300 feet (1,000 m) or more. It can grow to about 4 feet (1.2 m) long. Although it is fairly common, little is known about its habits.

SOURCES: World Book Encyclopedia, World Book Inc.; Encyclopedia Americana, Grolier Inc.; The Sea, Brian Williams; Oceans, David Lambert; The Sea, Leonard Engel; science. discovery.com; ocean.nationalgeographic.com

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Times Fashion

J

uliet Bernard, a Guyanese currently residing in Trinidad and Tobago, is renowned as a talented designer with more than 13 years in the fashion industry.

Strangely, her interest in sewing actually started with her love for designing nails. “I did a painting on a wall hanging and it looked good. I was already sewing and I tried it on clothing. The response was good and I started taking orders.”

She was torn between her love for nails and clothing.

The designer admitted it was a difficult choice. “I find the clothes were drawing me away from the nails.”

Bernard has distinguished herself as one of the leaders in the cotton styles. “I like cotton because I find in the Caribbean we want to be cool. Synthetic material isn’t suited for our climate and some can be quite uncomfortable. That’s why I was drawn to cotton.”

Cotton is versatile and is easy to work with for Bernard who easily hand paints, crimps, braids, and dyes it creating collections of celebrated designs.

The designer frequently showcases her works in Tobago, including the Tobago Fashion Weekend which she has participated in since 2010, and the San Fernando Fashion Week 2011. Additionally, her collections will be on the fashion runway at the upcoming Guyana Fashion Week 2013.

Bernard seeks out different avenues to display her flair for fashion and is one of the most anticipated designers at GFW 2013.

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Times Sunday Magazine 11

Star Times Hollywood

L

ogan Lerman is an American actor, known for playing the title role in the 2010 fantasy-adventure “Percy Jackson & the Olympians: The Lightning Thief”. He appeared in commercials in the mid-1990s, before starring in the series “Jack & Bobby” (2004–2005) and the movies “The Butterfly Effect” (2004) and “Hoot” (2006). Lerman gained further recognition for his roles in the western “3:10 to Yuma”, the thriller “The Number 23”, the comedy “Meet Bill”, and 2009's “Gamer” and “My One and Only”. He played d'Artagnan in 2011's “The Three Musketeers”, and starred in the teen drama “The Perks of Being a Wallflower” (2012). Logan is also cast in the leading role in the sequel “Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters” scheduled for release in August.

Logan Lerman

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july 28, 2013

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Times Hollywood

Prince Harry aims to ensure nephew Prince George ‘has fun’

P

rince Harry has said one of his duties as an uncle to his new nephew Prince George is "to make sure he has fun".

Harry said that he had already cuddled the prince, who was born on Monday and has been named George Alexander Louis Prince George of Cambridge.

Prince Harry said it was "fantastic to have another addition to the family", and that the newborn "was crying his eyes out" when he met him.

Prince George is third in line to the throne.

Prince Harry - who is now fourth in line to the throne - spoke while on a visit to a photographic exhibition in London documenting the work of his Africa-based charity Sentebale.

The charity helps children living in Lesotho who are orphaned by the country's

HIV/Aids epidemic.

When asked what his mission was as an uncle he replied: "To make sure he has a good upbringing, and keep him out of harm's way and to make sure he has fun.

"The rest I'll leave to the parents."

Prince George was born at 16:24 BST on Monday at the private Lindo Wing of St Mary's Hospital, Paddington, where Prince William and Prince Harry were also born.

The 28-year-old prince joked: "I only hope my brother knows how expensive my babysitting charges are."

And asked what his nephew was like he held up his hands and said: "Well he's about that long and about that wide."

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge left hospital with their son on Tuesday evening, staying overnight at Kensington Palace.

The Queen spent 30 minutes with her new great-grandson on Wednesday.

At a reception at Buckingham Palace on Tuesday evening, the monarch said she was "thrilled" at the arrival of her third great-grandchild.

The duke and duchess left Kensington Palace shortly after the Queen's visit and were driven to the home of the duchess's parents Michael and Carole Middleton in Bucklebury, Berkshire.

It had been expected that the couple would want to spend time at Middleton family home but it is not known how long they will stay.

Prince William has two weeks' paternity leave before he is due back at work in Anglesey where he is an RAF search and rescue pilot. (BBC)

Hugh Jackman to take a break from acting H

ugh Jackman has spoken of his plans to take a break from acting.

The 44-year-old actor, who is currently promoting “The Wolverine”, told Australia's Kyle and Jackie O Show that he needs some time off following four major films in close succession. Jackman will also appear in “X Men: Days of Future Past” next year.

The exact length of his sabbatical was not revealed. "I'm taking a little while off. I don't know if I'm taking a year."

Hinting at a need to spend more time with his family, he added: "I'm being very greedy. There's a thing called being in the dog box, that's me.''

Speaking of his long standing role as X Men's clawed mutant, the actor said: "I'd be lying if I said I chose that role. At the time, I would have taken anything. It was my first job in America, but I happened to sort of find this character that is eternally fascinating

to me."

“The Wolverine” opens in cinemas nationwide today. (Glamour)

Beyoncé strikes superhero pose as Batman

W

hat's this, Queen Bey as the Prince of Darkness?

Beyoncé is already practically a superhero herself – her very own Wonder Woman. But she channeled a different DC Comics character during a recent visit to a toy store.

The pop star, 31, donned a Batman mask and posed for pictures with friends, which

she then posted to her website.

The singer has a thing for classic superheroes, it seems.

"I love Wonder Woman, and it'd be a dream come true to be that character," she said a few years back.

And for those who want to be Beyoncé?

Well, there's a mask for that, too! (People)

Mike Tyson warns he has not turned into a softie

F

ormer undisputed heavyweight champion of the world Mike Tyson will be seen again on TV later this year, in the Spike Lee filmed version of his one-man Broadway show "Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth" on HBO. He may have moved from the boxing ring to a whole new different platform that is the Broadway stage, but the 47-year-old retired pro-boxer says he hasn't gone soft.

"Guys, please, don't get carried away, alright. There's no way I'm Charles Manson

but I'm never going to be Mother Teresa, either," Tyson told the TCA panel on Thursday. "Some good advice is, don't be so quick to understand me. Just don't get too close, and be careful, I will bite you, as you may know."

The HBO show features Tyson as he recounts the events that shaped his life into what it is today, which include his years in prison and that fateful day when he bit of a piece of Evander Holyfield's ear inside the ring. Asked if he would change any of it if he could, he replied, "I couldn't change. If I changed it I wouldn't have this life that I have now that's pretty awesome," and surprisingly admitted he did not actually have "many regrets" but said he wished he had been a better father."

Tyson apparently felt right at home on the Broadway stage, saying it felt "similar to going into the ring, with similar energy among the Broadway and fight crowds."

He continued saying, "I can't wait to get my hands on the guy like I can't wait to get on stage. Just like in a fight, I wanted to kill everybody in the room, by my performance, of course." (AceShowbiz)

S

july 28, 2013

hraddha Kapoor is an Indian film actress and model. She was born in Mumbai to actor Shakti Kapoor and Shivangi Kapoor, sister of actress Padmini Kolhapure. Shraddha made her acting debut in Leena Yadav's 2010 Bollywood film “Teen Patti” alongside Amitabh Bachchan and Ben Kingsley. The following year, she played the lead female role in “Luv Ka The End”. For her role in that film, she earned the Stardust Searchlight Award for Best Actress. She also gained recognition for her leading role in Mohit Suri's 2013 romantic musical drama film “Aashiqui 2”. The movie attained a “blockbuster” status and Shraddha received rave reviews for her performance. A highlight of her career is ranking #27 as Times’ 50 Most Desirable Women of 2012. She will be featured in the upcoming “Gori Tere Pyaar Mein”, a romantic comedy directed by Punit Malhotra. The actress is also confirmed to be the leading lady in Ekta Kapoor's “The Villain” opposite Sidharth Malhotra and is also expected to perform an item number in Rensil D'Silva's “Ungli”.

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Star Times Bollywood

14 Times Sunday Magazine Times Bollywood

Akshay Kumar’s box-office clash with Shah Rukh Khan

A

lmost a dozen films (including more than half a dozen Hindi and two Marathi ventures) hit theatres July 26. But, Rajeev Patil’s “72 Miles Ek Pravas” that’s produced by Akshay Kumar and Ashvini Yardi’s production house will have to wait. The film was also slated to release the same day, but its date has now been pushed to August 9.

It’s interesting to note that Akshay’s “Once Upon A

Time In Mumbai Dobaara” was pushed to August 15 to avoid a clash with Shah Rukh Khan’s “Chennai Express”. But, with “72 Miles” moving to August 9, Akshay’s project will still clash with SRK’s venture.

“We will be releasing the film globally as we want to connect with not just the Indian community abroad, but a broader ethnicity, considering the subject of the film is quite relatable. I believe this film will be re-

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ceived well and will leave an impression on viewers,” says Ashvini.

Featuring actor Smita Tambe in the lead role, the film is based on writer Ashok Vhatkar’s autobiography.

Although Akshay doesn’t belong to the Marathi ethnicity, Ashvini insists that the actor is well versed in the language. “When you hear him speak Marathi, it’s quite difficult to believe that he’s not Maharashtrian. He has supported the film wholeheartedly. The amount of passion and dedication Akshay puts into any project is inspiring; it brings a lot of positivity that encourages the cast and crew,” says the co-producer.

Ashvini further adds that what distinguishes the film from others is its substance. “It is a period film with a hard-hitting subject.

It throws light on some grim issues in our society that aren’t being addressed. But, at the same time, it is a journey of self-actualisation,” she says. (Hindustan Times)

Lata Mangeshkar to get first Yash Chopra Memorial Award

L

egendary singer Lata Mangeshkar will be given the inaugural National Yash Chopra Memorial Award.

Industrialist-politician T Subbarami Reddy, who has produced Hindi movies like "Vijay", "Chandni" and "Lamhe", announced the award in memory of late filmmaker Yash Chopra. The award, instituted by Reddyled TSR Foundation, will be given to an outstanding film personality each year.

"In the first year we are giving this to Lata Mangeshkar for her immense contribution to cinema. She was very close to Yashji and she has sung for almost all his films," Reddy, a Congress leader, said.

"The award commemorates Yash Chopra's contribution to cinema. We were very close friends. He was a

very good human being and a talented filmmaker," he said.

The Bollywood icon died Oct. 21, 2012 and the award ceremony is likely to take place on the same day every year. A distinguished jury consisting of Hindi film personalities Hema Malini, Simi Garewal and Anil Kapoor se-

Priyanka Chopra brings West Hollywood to a stop

Hrithik Roshan to take break from acting

H

rithik Roshan will not be shooting for “Krrish 3” again until later this year.

The actor had surgery to remove a blood clot after injuring himself on the set of the action film earlier this month.

A source told Business

of Cinema: "Since the last couple of days, Hrithik has started going out and spending time with friends and relatives. However he continues to conduct all his work-related meetings at his Juhu residence.

"He will promote his ‘Krrish 3’ but no film shoots

lected the winner.

Garewal, who is related to the Chopra family, described him as a great filmmaker.

Hema Malini said she felt lucky to have been directed by him in four films.

He portrayed heroines beautifully in his films, she said.

(Hindustan Times)

at all, since he does most of the action scenes himself."

The 39-year-old has promised he will be taking more care of himself following the accident. Roshan claimed that he may publish a book of inspirational quotes based on his recent experiences. (Digital Spy)

A

ctress Priyanka Chopra caused massive fan frenzy and commotion in West Hollywood Friday as the Bollywood actress launched a celebrity milkshake in the U.S. inspired by her. The milkshake, named The Exotic Shake, takes

inspiration from the recent video she shot with international star Pitbull.

Minutes after the launch, Sheeraz Hasan, founder of Millions of Milkshakes, exclusively told TOI that at least 3,000 fans thronged the venue to meet Priyanka. "So many people came to meet her. It was so packed that the city of West Hollywood code compliance and the West Hollywood sheriff's department was forced to shut down early for the safety of the fans. This is the first time ever that a Hollywood event has been shut down by a Bollywood star. Priyanka was fantastic during the entire event. She flew for over 20 hours and didn't waste any time. She just changed and came straight to the venue to launch the milkshake. It is really fantastic on her part. Post her video with Pitbull, her fan-following has increased manifold."

A day before the event, Priyanka had tweeted, ""And it's that Time..To switch gears and get ready for the craziness of LA LA land...C u at millions of milkshakes..

Xoxo.Finally some zzzzs."

She arrived in a Rolls Royce Phantom at the event.

The milkshake named after her video has been made using banana, almonds, caramel sauce and a touch of Mr Pink Ginseng drink, added Hasan. (Times of India)

Ranbir, Katrina spotted together again

B

ollywood rockstar Ranbir Kapoor and his ladylove Katrina Kaif, who have been spotted on and off meeting each other lately, have once again

been snapped together in Sri Lanka.

According to reports, Katrina is with Ranbir Kapoor who is shooting for his film “Bombay Velvet”.

They were earlier snapped spending quality time on a vacation in Spain, Ranbir singing happy birthday song for his love at a starry get together, visiting rock show together, and not to forget the family lunch in London. The couple and their growing chemistry is making rounds in news for long.

The Bollywood sweethearts tried their best to keep their trip to Spain a hush-hush affair, but thanks to their fans they were caught cozying up. And now pictures of Katrina clad in white and orange bikini and Ranbir in green shorts are going viral. They were spotted in a relaxed mood on the beach of Ibiza. (India Today)

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Times Sunday Magazine

How to boost your immune system

T Part II

he idea of boosting your immunity is enticing, but the ability to do so has proved elusive for several reasons. The immune system is precisely that — a system, not a single entity. To function well, it requires balance and harmony. There is still much that researchers don’t know about the intricacies and interconnectedness of the immune response. For now, there are no scientifically proven direct links between lifestyle and enhanced immune function.

But that doesn’t mean the effects of lifestyle on the immune system aren’t intriguing and shouldn’t be studied. Researchers are

still trying to understand how the immune system works and how to interpret measurements of immune function.

Be sceptical

Many products on store shelves claim to boost or support immunity. But the concept of boosting immunity actually makes little sense scientifically. In fact, boosting the number of cells in your body — immune cells or others — is not necessarily a good thing. For example, athletes who engage in “blood doping” — pumping blood into their systems to boost their number of blood cells and enhance their performance — run the risk of strokes.

Attempting to boost the

cells of the immune system is especially complicated because there are so many different kinds of cells in the immune system that respond to so many different microbes in so many ways.

Which cells should you boost, and to what number? So far, scientists do not know the answer. What is known is that the body is continually generating immune cells. Certainly it produces many more lymphocytes than it can possibly use. The extra cells remove themselves through a natural process of cell death called apoptosis — some before they see any action, some after the battle is won. No one knows how many cells or what kinds

How Diabetes and Hypoglycaemia Cause Chronic Fatigue I f you have diabetes and hypoglycaemia, the two most common forms of blood sugar disorders, you may feel tired much of the time. In fact, chronic fatigue is a common feature of people with blood sugar problems because sugar is the fuel that runs the brain, the muscles, and other body cells.

Without adequate blood sugar regulation, function of many body systems goes awry and the result is low energy.

Hypoglycaemia

Hypoglycaemia occurs when blood sugar levels rise and fall at irregular rates and affect the metabolism of energy. It generally means low blood glucose. With low blood glucose levels, come low energy, sleepiness, tiredness, difficulty concentrating, poor memory and irritability.

Diabetes

Diabetes is a problem of insulin production or utilization. Insulin is a hormone produced by the pancreas that regulates the amount of glucose circulating in the blood.

Diabetics have a problem with elevated blood glucose. When blood glucose is too high, a very dangerous situation exists in which the body’s metabolism can be severely disrupted.

In sum, both, diabetes and hypoglycaemia can cause blood sugar disorders which in turn result in fatigue. Both are also closely related to the status of minerals in your body.

Overconsumption of sugar causes blood sugar abnormalities

Dr Michael A. Schmidt gives us a good example. An 8-year-old boy has about one teaspoon of glucose circulating in his blood.

If this boy drinks a can of pop which has about eight to nine teaspoons of sugar, its blood gets hit with a dose of sugar that is 8 to 9 times higher than its normal level.

In response, the body has to mobilize large amounts of adrenaline and insulin to clear the sugar from the bloodstream. If this practice is repeated day after day, which in this culture is very much the case, the result is blood sugar disorders and chronic fatigue.

Magnesium is a vitally important mineral in the production of energy

ATP is a molecule inside the body that produces energy. Magnesium is needed to produce ATP molecules, but at the same time, ATPs are needed to get magnesium into the cells, so that ATP can be produced.

A vicious circle!

Bear in mind that the brain uses magnesium for many of its functions and that many of the symptoms of fatigue are manifested as behavioural or psychological.

Colas deplete the magnesium from your cells

Colas cause blood sugar disorders by depleting the body from magnesium. Because sodas are very acidic, manufactures add phosphoric acid as a buffer; unfortunately, phosphoric acid binds to magnesium. If you consume one can of cola containing phosphoric acid, it can cause you to lose 36 milligrams of magnesium.

Magnesium is vitally important in energy metabolism and a magnesium deficiency can cause chronic fatigue. If you don’t replace this magnesium loss, you will cause a gradual depletion which can lead to a variety of health problems.

Chromium deficiency aggravates blood sugar disorders

Many doctors do not give adequate attention to the status of chromium in people with blood sugar disorders. For years, chromium deficiency has been associated with poor insulin regulation and diabetes and as a result with chronic fatigue.

Back in 1968, Dr. K. Hambridge showed that diabetic children had significantly lower chromium levels than normal children.

An article that appeared in the southern Medical Journal in 1977 entitled “Chromium Depletion in the Pathogenesis of Diabetes and Atherosclerosis” showed that a deficiency of chromium was a prime factor in the cause of these disorders.

One reason why eating sugar may trigger blood sugar problems is that it may increase the amount of chromium that is spilled into the urine and therefore lost. (By Emilia Klapp, R.D., B.S. The Diabetes Club)

of cells the immune system needs to function at its optimum level.

Scientists do know more about the low end of the scale. When the number of T cells in an HIV/AIDS patient drops below a certain level, the patient gets sick because the immune system doesn’t have enough T cells to fight off infection. So there is a bottom number below which the immune system can’t do its job. But how many T cells are comfortably enough, and beyond that point, is more better? We don’t know.

Many researchers are trying to explore the effects of a variety of factors — from foods and herbal supplements to exercise and stress — on immunity.

Some take measures of certain blood components like lymphocytes or cytokines.

But thus far, no one really knows what these mea-

15

Times Healthy Living

surements mean in terms of your body’s ability to fight disease. They provide a way of detecting whether something is going on, but science isn’t yet sufficiently advanced to understand how this translates into success in warding off disease.

A different scientific approach looks at the effect of certain lifestyle modifications on the incidence of disease. If a study shows significantly less disease, re-

searchers consider whether the immune system is being strengthened in some way.

Based on these studies, there is now evidence that even though we may not be able to prove a direct link between a certain lifestyle and an improved immune response, we can at least show that some links are likely. (Excerpted from The Truth about Your Immune System, a Special Health Report from Harvard Health Publications)

16 Times Sunday Magazine

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Times Home & Cooking

Easy Bathroom Update T

ired of the same old, same old in your bathroom? Updating it does not necessarily mean spending a fortune remodelling the room. It could simply mean using your creativity and a much smaller budget for the perfect bathroom accessories to revive the space.

Asian-Marinated Baked Chicken Ingredients 1/2 cup soy sauce 1/4 cup packed dark brown sugar 3 tablespoons peeled and finely chopped fresh ginger (from 1 [3- to 4-inch] piece) 1 tablespoon finely chopped garlic (from Method Place everything except the chicken in a 13-by-9-inch broiler-proof baking dish and whisk to combine.

Lay the chicken in a single layer in the marinade and turn to coat.

Cover, refrigerate, and marinate at least 12 hours and up to 24 hours, turning the chicken at least once during the marinating time.

Remove the chicken from the refrigerator and let it sit at room temperature for about 30 minutes.

Meanwhile, heat the oven to 475°F and arrange a rack in the middle.

Turn all the chicken pieces skin-side up in the dish (if you’re using drumsticks, just

about 5 medium cloves) 2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 3 pounds bone-in, skin-on chicken thighs, drumsticks, or breasts, or a combination of all three turn to recoat them in the marinade). Bake until the chicken is starting to turn a dark brown colour, about 40 minutes.

Set the oven to broil and broil until the chicken skin is crisped, about 3 to 5 minutes more. Serve with the sauce on the side.

Pineapple Granita Ingredients

Modern shelving can make pretty and practical accessories in your shower.

Bring in some lush plants as well for that designer look

1 medium pineapple (about 3 lbs), peeled, cored, and coarsely chopped (about 5 cups)

1 1/4 cups water 3/4 cup granulated sugar 1 tablespoon freshly squeezed orange juice 1 teaspoon finely grated orange zest

Method

Combine all ingredients in the bowl of a food processor and process until smooth, about 2 minutes.

Pour mixture into a 13-by-9-inch dish and freeze, uncovered, until just set but not frozen completely, about 2 1/2 hours. Rake through mixture with a fork to break up any large chunks.

Return to the freezer and rake again when thoroughly set, about 2 hours more. Transfer to a container with a tight-fitting lid and store in the freezer for up to two weeks.

T

Greatest Cooking Tips

he difference between cooling the pressure cooker at once and letting pressure drop naturally is determined by the food being cooked. Delicate foods such as custards and fresh vegetables usually require a quick cooling method. To cool a pressure cooker at once, simply place the cooker under cold running water or in a pan of cold water until pressure is released from the cooker. For other foods, like roasts and ribs, it is usually recommended that you let the pressure cooker cool of its own accord by setting it aside until the pressure drops naturally.

Sometimes, just switching out your old bathroom sets for more upbeat accessories is an ideal plan for your bathroom update

P

Home Help

ut a sheet of fabric softener underneath each seat in the car to make it smell nice.

If your ice chest or picnic cooler has a nasty smell to it, but it is clean, just wipe it out and place a bowl of vinegar in it. Close the lid and let it stand overnight. Next day, the odour should be gone.

Musty suitcases can be freshened by balling up some newspapers and placing inside the suitcase for a few days or until you use it again. After you remove the newspaper, put some fabric softener sheets inside the suitcase to keep it smelling nice.

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Times Sunday Magazine 17

Times Sunday Puzzle

Long, long ago, in a village there used to an annual animal fair where only elephants, horses and sheep were sold. During one year the price-list in the fair was as follows:One Elephant --- $5 One Horse --- $1 Twenty Sheep --- $1 A merchant sent his servant with $100 to the fair and instructed him to buy 100 animals with the money....but the condition was that there had to be at least one animal of each kind in the lot and there must be no money left over.

How did the servant go about carrying out his task? see solution on page 22

see solution on page 22

see solution on page 22

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JUly 28, 2013

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Times Sunday Magazine 19

20 Times Sunday Magazine

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Times Tech

A

pple's iOS 7, announced earlier last month, brings a lot of changes to all areas of the operating system, and security is no exception. iOS 7, at least as much of it as has been publicly disclosed by Apple to date, includes a number of security-related enhancements, seeking not just to make your data more secure, but also make security more convenient.

ing a layer of network encryption to help keep your traffic secure. iOS 7 will expand iOS's existing VPN functionality to support per app VPN. The details on this are sparse right now, but this will likely give enterprises (and their employees) more granular control over what traffic should be routed over VPN.

Safari - Do Not Track & Private Browsing

Cheaters be on alert, Game Centre is also getting some security attention in iOS 7. If you've spent any amount of time viewing Game Centre’s leader boards, you've probably noticed that many of them are topped by individuals with impossible scores. Two items from Apple's keynote intended to help prevent cheating are "Secure game scores" and "Authenticated Game Centre players".

It wouldn't be surprising to see cheaters find new ways to top the charts, but it's good to see Apple taking notice and working to curtail those actions.

Do Not Track is an optional header that can be sent along in HTTP requests, expressing your preference to not be tracked by websites. Already included in the desktop version of Safari (as well as most other major browsers), the addition to Safari in iOS 7 means people will have the option to optout of server-side tracking of their browsing.

There is no enforcement of the Do Not Track system, but with a large number of popular websites honouring it, it's certainly a welcome addition to mobile Safari. iOS 7 has also moved Safari's Private Browsing option to a more accessible place.

Enabling Private Browsing means Safari doesn't save your history, record cookies, or sync your browsing data to other devices.

Previously this option was hidden away in the Settings app, going unnoticed by most.

Now Private Browsing appears in the Safari app itself, allowing you to toggle it on and off quickly from within the browser, rather than having to jump out to Settings every time you want a little privacy.

Per App VPN

VPN (Virtual Private Network) support allows you to create secured connections between your device and VPN provider, offer-

Gaming

Activation Lock

Currently if your iPhone is stolen, Find My iPhone can help you track it down, disable it, or erase it, but only if it's on and connected to the Internet. If a thief immediately powers your iPhone off, then restores it to factory defaults, you're out of luck. Activation Lock works by requiring your Apple ID and password to activate an iPhone, even after it has been wiped. This means that even if a criminal completely wipes your devices and reinstalls iOS, the phone can't be activated unless they also have your credentials.

This feature only works if Find My iPhone is enabled on the device. There has been some unwarranted concern on what

Activation Lock will mean for users trying to sell their old devices, but iPhone owners need not worry. If you disable Find My iPhone (which will require your Apple ID and password), prior to resetting your iPhone, it will no longer be locked to your Apple ID.

Keychain syncing

The Keychain is where applications can securely store sensitive information like usernames and passwords on your device.

Your keychain is one of the only pieces of data that cannot be backed up to or synced through iCloud. If you want to preserve your keychain when restoring a device, you have to use an encrypted backup from iTunes.

Also, if you use multiple iOS devices, usernames and passwords will have to be entered manually on each separate device.

Keychain syncing in iOS 7 will allow users to enable syncing of their keychain to iCloud. This means that multiple devices will be able to share the same data and when you restore data from an iCloud backup, iOS will now be able to restore all of your saved passwords. In addition to syncing, the Keychain is also being extended to securely store additional data for users, such as credit card information for making online purchases.

Of course users can still use third party apps like 1Password for this, but will now also have the option to make use of native functionality.

Defaulting to secure data

This change will go largely unnoticed by users, but will offer additional protection to their data. On iOS, if you have a passcode set on your device, your data can be encrypted with it. The catch is, developers have to specifically enable data protection in their applications to make use of this encryption.

If somebody were to jailbreak your device and bypass the passcode, they could potentially access data in any application where developers had not enabled data protection.

Starting with iOS 7, data protection will be enabled by default for all applications.

And more

The above is not a comprehensive list of all security changes in iOS 7, but covers the ones we know about from the keynote. With iOS 7 in beta, and under non-disclosure, details may change before the public release, currently scheduled for this fall.

Tech 1954 Mercedes-Benz smashes byte record auction price for car

T

The world's most expensive car

he 1954 Mercedes-Benz W196R F1 Silver Arrow became the world's most expensive car when it sold for about US$31 million earlier this month, roughly doubling the previous auction record of just over US$15 million set by the Ferrari Testa Rossa prototype in 2011.

Only 14 W196R machines ever existed. Ten still exist; three are in museums and six inside Mercedes-Benz. That leaves the recently auctioned Silver Arrow W196R chassis 006/54. It is the only post-war Mercedes-Benz Silver Arrow in private hands.

The Silver Arrow was driven by the most respected driver of all-time, Juan Manuel Fangio, to famous back-to-back victories that sealed his 1954 Formula One driver's title.

Most of all, it is aptly described by auction house Bonhams’ catalogue as "supreme mechanical artistry." It was built specifically to win a world title and it effectively won two inside 18 months with a final scorecard showing 12 starts, nine wins.

The W196R was the first fuel-injected F1 car. Mercedes Benz closely collaborated with German company Bosch to deliver this innovation, which quickly became a standard feature on every F1 car.

Check out www.gizmag.com/worlds-most-expensive-car-30-million-mercedes-silver-arrow/28315/ for more information about Mercedes Benz and Juan Manuel Fangio’s W196R. (GIZMAG)

guyanatimesgy.com

july 28, 2013

Times Sunday Magazine 21

Art inspired by life and nature

Celebrated painting (2010)

A notable piece done in 2010

The artist's favourite sketch

One of her recent pieces depicting a burdened woman

Beautiful hand painted ceramics

Times Art

N

icole Bissoo-Williams is inspired by family and nature, which have been motivating factors for creating her celebrated artistic pieces housed in private collections around the world.

In an interview with Guyana Times Sunday Magazine, the artist pointed out that her parents are artistic individuals.

Her mother paints but is not a practicing artist, and her father, Patrick Bissoo, is a veteran local artist.

“During childhood I observed my father painting professionally. He is also a qualified teacher/headmaster. I guess my talent is hereditary. In school – St. Stanislaus College – my teachers encouraged me to go on to Burrowes.

They saw my talent and pushed me to develop it. I went to Burrowes School of Art and then later I studied at Penn Foster Education, located in Pennsylvania, U.S.,” she recalled.

Nicole stated that since childhood she was always painting and sketching.

Even her jobs were all art related. In 1996, she started working with ceramics while employed for a local company named POLDON. She eventually bought the company in 2006 and named it Irie Artz. The connotation of that name, she disclosed, did not draw the clientele she wanted, so she changed it to Brush Strokes. Through Brush Strokes Nicole was able to delve into her art in a major way and at the same time market her products. The artist has done significant work for various government officials, and logos and banners for numerous organisations.

“Brush Strokes offers a collection of innovative hand-painted works of art for the home, office; personal gifts and just about anything artsy you can think of.

Brush Strokes also offers art classes to your time convenience for children and adults. There is also my home service where I decorate or redecorate, brighten your child’s room or play area with fun paintings on the wall of their favourite animation, cartoon images, angels, fairies, super heroes, nursery rhymes scenes, rainbows and much more. I also do murals for businesses, which I have done for many notable companies. I use all art medium you can think of to create lasting hand painted pieces,” Nicole outlined.

Presently, Nicole is on a hiatus from ceramics work until her two-year-old daughter is older.

“I was advised to put that on hold until she is a bit older because of the fine dust emanating from working with ceramics. Also I’m looking at getting my studio, which I don’t have at this moment. However, I will get back into ceramics in the near future. For now it is too time-consuming juggling that and my family. But I still paint. Life changes so you have to change with it,” she related.

Of note is the recurring image of women and children in Nicole’s paintings.

The artist revealed that the reason for painting women looking sad or burdened or women with children stemmed from her parents separation. When they

Artist Nicole Bissoon-Williams separated, Nicole reflected, her life was spent with her mother and as a result her pieces portrayed her emotions.

Seeing art as therapy, Nicole said it relieves stress and has helped her to cope with life. Her art, she noted, is inspired by her daughters, mother, and nature.

“I’m also thankful to my former art teacher Errol Brewster from Burrowes, who resides overseas now, who continually offer constructive critique and advice on my art. He has significantly helped me to develop my talent. He would even help me in the pricing of my art so that I’m not exploited. From time to time I would contact him for his advice,” Nicole noted.

Nicole has exhibited her work with the Guyana Women Artists' Association, where she was once a member, and at Republic Bank and the National Library.

Her art is also all over the world in private collections. Nicole’s sisters in the UK and the US have her pieces in their homes, and when persons visiting them would inquire about the artist and find out it was their sister Nicole, orders would flow in for the paintings which usually end up in various parts of the world.

As an artist, Nicole’s challenge is sourcing art supplies locally. She cited that it is a hassle to order online and ensuring it reaches on time in order to fulfil orders on a timely basis.

Encouraging others pursuing art, Nicole said, “My advice is to stay focused.

If you know this is where your heart and passion is then by all means pursue it. I was seeking a job to get a stable income because art is not a financially stable career. But I was not happy. So I went back into just doing art, but I also taught privately and did other side art jobs to make it work. Art makes me happy. I am hoping to start teaching art fulltime but it is all in the planning. Do not just get into art for money. Develop yourself in it and it will eventually work out as it did for me. When I was working with the ceramics company it was not a highly paid job, but the experience and recognition I gained benefit me now.”

For more information on Nicole’s art visit Brush Strokes on Facebook.

22 Times Sunday Magazine

guyanatimesgy.com

july 28, 2013

Times Heritage

The Amerindian hammock A

ccording to most historians, the hammock was first introduced to the rest of the world in a letter from the second voyage of Christopher Columbus to the “New World”.

Its origins are said to have come from the indigenous peoples of Central and South America, where hammocks were first made from the bark of the hamack tree.

Some scholars believe the hammock dates back to some 1,000 years ago among the Mayan peoples of Central America.

The English word “hammock" came from the Spanish conquistadors, who derived the word “homoca” of the present day “hamaca” from the Carib Indians, who wove fibres of the hamack tree.

More than 500 years ago, Columbus discovered the indigenous Taino Indians of Bahamas sleeping “in nets between the trees”, which were suspended off the ground. Some historical sources suggest it was among the Taino Indians of Haiti (Santo Domingo) that Columbus first saw and ex-

made his way through the Isthmus of Panama towards the Pacific Ocean. He observed that every hut, every village had hammocks as the primary source of bedding.

By the end of the 16th century, colonists began their widespread use of the hammock from Mexico through the Caribbean to Brazil in South America. In 1570, Portuguese colonist Pero de Magalhaes observed that “Most beds in Brazil are

at each end, in which seamen sleep.”

Today it has become a symbol of relaxation, with its iconic depiction in vacation travel brochures or home and garden advertisements derived from wartime propaganda photos of a soldier resting in between two palm trees in the South Pacific.

According to the Walter Roth Museum, the Carib, Makushi and Wapishana

Method of slinging hammock without suitable trees available (After Crevaux) Walter Roth Museum

perienced the hammock.

In 1500, Portuguese explorer Pero Vaz de Caminha noted in his journal that “in their thatched houses the natives sleep in nets that are attached with cords to wooden beams above.”

Later 16th-century accounts speak of people

“[placing] hot coals or [kindling] small fires under their hammocks to stay warm or ward off insects as they slumbered.”

“Suspended beds”, says history.com, “prevented contact with the dirty ground and offered protection from snakes, rodents and other poisonous or sim-

ply pesky creatures.”

Hammocks could be found throughout the New World regions.

Hernan Cortes, conquistador of Mexico, observed the hammock as a staple of Indian life in the region. Vasco Nunez Balboa wrote of “hammocks of cotton” as he

Preserving our heritage through pictures

Hammock in Fernández de Oviedo y Valdés, La Historia general y natural de las Indias...(Seville, 1535)

now hammocks, hung in the house from two cords. This custom they took from the Indians of the land.”

Throughout these regions, the hammock varies in materials and techniques as well as among its western adaptations. Hammocks are said to have been woven from cotton, Ité, tucum, awarra, same and kuraua, to sisal to wool and polyester blends and canvas in modern times.

By the late 16th century, the hammock was being used in the English navy, and entered the English dictionary as “a piece of canvass, hung

communities here make cotton hammocks, while Arawak and Warrau hammocks traditionally use tibisiri fibre, and Waiwai hammock makers use kraua string.

These hammocks are also often decorated with fringes, tassels or feathers, and are coloured using the juices from the barks of trees such as the wallaba, red mangrove and genipa.

The humble “hamaca” is just one of the many contributions Amerindian traditions have made to worldwide culture.

Brain Teaser Answer The servant bought 19 elephants, 1 horse and 80 sheep.

Total number of animals = 19 + 1 + 80 = 100 Total cost = (19 x 5) + (1x1) + (80 x 1/20) = 95 + 1 + 4 = 100

SUDOKU

KID SUDOKU

Georgetown, High St looking north nd

CROSSWORD

New Amsterdam Hospital, Berbice nd

guyanatimesgy.com

july 28, 2013

Times Sunday Magazine 23

Times Travel & Tourism

Bartica

Dutch fort Kyk-Over-Al

A gateway to the interior

By Dmitri Allicock

S

ome of the greatest cities of old and modern times owe their rise and grandeur to their positions in the fork between great rivers, which gave them unrivalled advantages for defence and commerce. Bartica occupies such a unique natural location in north-central Guyana where the mighty Essequibo, Mazaruni, and Cuyuni rivers meet.

Bartica is situated at a junction of the Essequibo River, 50 miles (80 km) inland from the Atlantic Ocean, and is considered the “Gateway to the Interior”. The town has a population of more than 15,000 and is still the launching point for Guyana’s gold and diamond miners.

There is no doubt that the bulk of Guyana’s precious gold and diamond reserves are embraced by that wide stretch of highland which is drained by the Essequibo, Cuyuni, the Mazaruni rivers and their tributaries. The three rivers converge at the area called Bartica and the vast flood of their united waters is carried by the mighty Essequibo, past her hundred isles, 21 miles wide at her mouth, into the basin of the Atlantic. Washed on two sides by the waters of the two great rivers, Bartica faces the Atlantic breeze, tempered by a passage of 50 miles of tropical verdure forest.

The major discovery of gold in the l850s, described as very ‘Pactolus’, brought many from all over Guyana and the Caribbean, and led to the formation of the British Guiana Mining Company.

It was found necessary to establish a town at the little settlement of Bartica on the Essequibo and an ordinance for that purpose was passed in 1887.

Bartica’s unparalleled natural location is one of the most intriguing sites for a city.

To the north stretches a mass of fresh brown water fed by the three rivers and their tributaries, dotted in all directions with islands, varying in sizes from the

huge Hogg Island called Varken Eiland by the early Dutch, to the lovely Sail Rock, the smallest of the islets. North of Bartica is the ruins of the Dutch fort Kyk-OverAl, former government seat for the County of Essequibo. Bartica is also close to Marshall Falls. To the south stretches more than two thousand miles of pristine rainforest and savannah, intersected by hills, mountains, deep rivers and scores of massive and thundering falls and rapids; forests rich in invaluable hardwood and lands with bountiful gold.

The great difficulty with gold mining lay with the tortuous and deadly journey from Bartica to the goldfields of Guyana highlands. The rivers are sown with countless rapids and dangerous passes where many lives were lost to the lust for gold. It seems that the ancient Amerindian legends were true where these rushing waters dragged down into their dark depths all those who attempt passage without appeasement.

Many ideas were suggested to avoid loss of life and possessions including a light, narrow-gauge railway from Bartica, up the left bank of the Essequibo, bypassing the rapids to the smoother water up the Potaro and other gold bearing rivers and creeks. This railway would open the vast areas of valuable timber and a branch could be constructed up the right bank of the Mazaruni, past Calacoon, skirting the Marshall (Marechial) Falls, up to the Puruni gold fields and even connecting with a line from the Yuruari Valley, a branch of the Cuyuni River, bringing the wealth of that great district through the channels of Essequibo to the port of Georgetown.

Today, Bartica remains a small town, and is still associated with gold and diamond mining of Guyana highlands and timber extraction. Bartica is linked to Georgetown by air and can be reached from Parika, Essequibo and Linden. The Denham Suspension Bridge, also known as the Garraway Stream Bridge,

links Bartica to Mahdia.

Its population consists of a harmonious mix of Guyanese.

The central town is about one square mile and consists of seven avenues and nine streets.

The avenues run north to south and the streets east to west.

During the Easter weekend every year, Bartica hosts the famous Bartica Regatta with a growing variety of entertaining holiday activities including water sports, cricket boxing, soccer, talent shows, a street parade, and a Miss Bartica Regatta Pageant. The regatta attracts people from all parts of Guyana, and even from other countries.

There is also a ‘summer’ regatta, held annually in August.

Bartica Police Station

Busy street in Bartica (Photo by Jane Peters)

24

Times Sunday Magazine

july 28, 2013

guyanatimesgy.com

Times Last Laugh

Father-in-Law Meeting was Quite a Trip

By Melvin Durai

I

n the hit movie "Meet the Parents," Ben Stiller plays a Chicago nurse named Greg Focker who has a miserable time trying to win the approval of his girlfriend’s controlling father, Jack Byrnes (Robert De Niro). Thankfully, in my real-life version of the movie, my new father-inlaw (let’s call him Mr. R) wasn’t quite as oppressive.

In fact, on at least one occasion, he smiled at me. Right after I served him a bowl of ice cream.

Actually, Mr. R was d o w n r i g h t charmi n g , cons i d ering he had flown halfway around the world and was still adjusting to a strange country where people drive on the right side of the road.

Attending his oldest daughter Malathi’s wedding, he had left India for the first time in his life and must have felt a little lost; especially when he went to McDonald’s and couldn’t find any McRice and Curry.

"French fries? I do not want French fries. Do you have any French rice?"

I met my prospective parents-in-law (and sister-in-law) two days before the wedding and had barely enough time to explain to Mr. R, as a way of joining his family, what I want for Christmas. Malathi had driven her family from

Indiana to Delaware, a 12hour trip that expanded to around 20, largely because Mr. R wanted to take more breaks than a state worker. He was concerned about travelling such a long distance in a car, partly because American roads look so different from those in India. Roads here have a lot more cars and a lot fewer cows. In fact, the only time a cow ends

up on an American road is when a careless motorist tosses out a half-eaten burger.

It didn’t help that Mr. R was feeling rather sick, even before he met me.

Needless to say, our first days together weren’t exactly magical, though the honeymoon did give me a chance to perform a disappearing act. "It was nice meeting you, Mr. R. Please excuse me while I disappear with your daughter.

Yes, she wants to go, too.

We’re going to Cape May, New Jersey. No, Mr. R, I can’t go alone. It’s called a honeymoon, not a lonelymoon. I need my honey on the honeymoon. Why? Because she often gives me something I value a lot:

driving directions."

Once the honeymoon was over, I spent a few days with my family-inlaw, before they returned to India. Malathi and I took them shopping, an unforgettable experience. Mr. R couldn’t help converting prices to rupees, the Indian currency. With a dollar equal to almost 50 rupees, Mr. R was absolutely certain that American shoppers are being robbed BLIND. We shopped at Dollar Express, w h e r e m o s t things cost a dollar, but Mr. R would have preferred to shop at Dime Express.

At a Chinese restaurant, he was reluctant to order an $18 dish, knowing that, with Rs. 900 in India, he could have fed a family of 18. As well as their cows.

I tried to persuade him not to convert everything, partly because I didn’t want him to think his wasteful son-in-law spends Rs. 1,000 on a haircut. I was afraid he might also try to convert me -- into an ex-son-in-law.

But he seemed to like me and I liked him, too. In fact, when we said goodbye, he gave me a kiss on the cheek. He had already given me a gold bracelet and a few other gifts, but the kiss meant more to me.

It was worth at least 50 kisses in India.

Newspaper

I was visiting my son this week and asked him where his newspaper was.

He laughed and said, “Dad, it’s the 21st century. We stopped buying newspapers years ago. It saves trees. But you can borrow my iPad.” Okay, fine, whatever.

But that lousy housefly never knew what hit it.

The Devil

Two young boys were whispering outside the church after hearing a scary sermon on the devil.

The first one said, "Satan sounds awful. Do you think he’s real?"

The second boy said, "I don’t know, but remember how Santa Claus turned out? It's probably just your dad."

The Funeral

An elderly lady passed away recently. She’d never been married, and she specifically asked that her casket service not have any male pallbearers. Her contract with the funeral parlour stated: "They never took me out when I was alive, so they sure won't be taking me out when I'm dead."

Medical Testing

A woman answers her phone, "Hello."

"Is this Mrs Haycroft?"

"Yes." "Mrs Haycroft, this is Doctor Willits calling from the Medical Lab. Your doctor sent us your husband's samples yesterday, and in the same shipment we received a similar sample from a different Mr Haycroft. Unfortunately there was a mix-up, and we're not sure which result belongs to your husband. I'm sorry to say that either way, the news is not good."

"Not good?" asks Mrs. Haycroft.

"I'm afraid not. One of the tests came back with Alzheimer's and the other with an STD. As I said, we're unsure which result is the correct one for your husband."

"Oh no, that's horrible!" said Mrs Haycroft. "I assume you'll redo the test?"

"We'd like to, but they're very expensive, and the insurance people tell us they will not pay for them again."

"That's ridiculous! What can I possibly do now?"

"The insurance company recommends that you drive your husband to the other side of town and leave him there. If he can find his way home, don't sleep with him."

Headstone Humour

Anna Hopewell's family displayed their sense of humour on her grave in Enosburg Falls, Vermont: “Here lies the body of our Anna Done to death by a banana It wasn't the fruit that laid her low But the skin of the thing that made her go.”

On a self-avowed atheist’s headstone, placed by his God-fearing family: “Here lies an Atheist All dressed up And no place to go.”

Parking Tickets

The wife and I had come to town to pick up a few things. We came out of one store and saw a cop writing a ticket for illegal parking right in front of us on the curb.

So we asked him nicely to give a couple of retirees a break. But he paid us no attention and kept writing.

Just loud enough for him to hear, my wife said, “What a Bozo.”

The cop looked up, stared at my wife, and then started writing out another ticket.

I said, “Honey, this guy probably just learned to read and write, and he’s so proud of himself, he’s showing off.”

The cop tore off the 2nd ticket and started on a third.

We kept making comments and he kept writing tickets till he was up to about half a dozen.

Finally, glaring at us, the cop left, and we walked on down the street. We didn’t care about the tickets. We always take the bus into town, and anyway, that car was one of those obnoxious Hummers.

Being retired, we always try to find ways to keep ourselves amused. We feel it’s important.

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