Roc Parent & She Rocs January/February 2018 by RocParent

EE FR JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2018

FROM BRISTOL MOUNTAIN TO WORLD CHAMPIONS

Meet Morgan Schild & Bristol Super Six

INSIDE:

• • • • •

Mom, dad, math, and homework Heartfelt crafts Fun in the snow and on the ice Our Facebook posts vs. reality Black History Month events

A little snow canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stop this mom The glitter of the holidays may be fading, but the sparkle of fresh snow remains for a while in Upstate New York. And, it can make for a long winter if you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t embrace the chill and find some thrill. As a kid it was the simple country pleasures I enjoyed, like building forts in huge snowdrifts, ice skating on the pond, and sledding down the big hill in the field across from our house. One snow-abundant winter, my farmer father even plowed a whole sledding track with banked curves. It must have been as long as two football fields and the walk back to the top in clunky snowmobile boots (with Wonder Bread wrappers around our feet) was long, but worth it! Many years passed until I again embraced outdoor fun, when as an adult skiing became my winter pastime. Frankly, it had to be. My partner, Mark, is Certified Level 1 with the Professional Ski Salley Thornton Instructors of America. His two children Publisher downhill race for their high school and ski club. With crockpot in one hand and skis in another, I head out each weekend with the family to a different mountain to feel the breeze in my face as I swoosh down the slopes, and the cold in my feet as I huddle with all the other parents. We wait. Then clang our metal bells as the racers zoom by at terrifying speeds. Of course, we as parents hold our collective breath for each racer. Like the kids who are competing against one another (whether skiing or hockey, skating or swimming or any other sport for that matter) we become a family. Traveling town to town. Sharing stories. Offering an extra hand. Cheering in the crowd in snow and sleet. Remembering the hand Dresden Engle warmers and snacks, extra socks, and toothManaging Editor brush. Hopefully finding a little time for fun ourselves! So, hats off to all the parents who traipse and travel, lug and love their kids through the sun and snow from event to event. Well, maybe you better keep the hat on. It is cold outside!

Roc Publishing LLC Roc Parent | She Rocs 2280 East Ave. Rochester, NY 14610 (585) 348-9712 Salley Thornton Publisher Dresden Engle Managing Editor Sara Hickman-Himes Art Director/Designer Lindsay Warren Baker Calendar Editor Gini Keck Copy Editor/Proofreader Rachel Cucchiara Social Media Manager Paul Olcott Business and Distribution Manager Photographers Renee Veniskey Miguel Samper

FEATURED WRITERS Breanna Banford Tom Czarniak Dresden Engle Sue Henninger Debra A. Jacobson Christina Katz Mary Kokinda Jan Pierce Vince Press Olivia Templeton Deena Viviani

COLUMNISTS Dr. Meami Craig Elizabeth Crony Dr. Amy Jerum Deanna King Dante Worth

ADVERTISING Salley Thornton salley@rocparent.com Linda Covington linda@rocparent.com

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WRITERS IN THIS ISSUE TOM CZARNIAK is an active dad who wrote us to say Roc Parent was missing “the dad’s voice.” (Thanks, Tom!) So, we happily feature an article written by him on pg. 30. He and his wife of eight years live in Greece with their four-year-old daughter.

AMY JERUM, DNP, CPNP-PC, PMHS, is a doctorally prepared pediatric nurse practitioner and boardcertified pediatric mental health specialist. She is also the mother of three boys (11, 11, and 13 — wow, right?). She gets asked a lot of questions about healthcare and parenting and now she’s sharing her answers with Roc Parent readers. She is the director of Workforce Development at URMC Complex Care Center, a faculty member of CAP-PC (Child and Adolescent Psychiatry for Primary Care), and assistant professor of Clinical Nursing at University of Rochester, School of Nursing.

CHRISTINA KATZ is an author, journalist, and writing coach. She enjoys whiling away the hours making crafts with her teenage daughter.

DEANNA KING is the mother of three pleasant surprises ages seven, 10, and 17. Clearly, she isn’t good at family planning, but has mastered the art of writing — especially the honest truth about parenting. She created the blog CynicalMother.com several years ago. King also worked for more than a decade in Rochester in TV news as a reporter and producer. Nowadays, Deanna’s sarcastic wit can be heard every morning on The Brother Wease Show on Radio 95.1. VINCE PRESS is a communications professional, a husband, a dad, and a foodie. He writes about food and restaurants for Rochester Magazine and the Democrat and Chronicle and is the featured food correspondent for Fox Rochester’s morning program, “Good Day Rochester.” DEENA VIVIANI works by day as a young adult services librarian at Brighton Memorial Library and by night she writes for children. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing and Communications from SUNY Brockport and a master’s degree in Library Science from the University at Buffalo. Deena is a fan of traveling, Muppets, Project Runway, and baking gluten-free recipes. She lives in Rochester with her young daughter, musician husband, and a large number of guitars, computers and, of course, books.

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JAN PIERCE, M.ED., is a retired teacher and reading specialist and a freelance writer. She is the author of Homegrown Readers and Homegrown Family Fun. Find Jan at www.janpierce.net.

FEATURES

MARK HOUSER is studying communications at SUNY Brockport, with hopes of landing a career that involves writing about sports. He lives in Spencerport.

CONTENTS JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2018

FROM BRISTOL MOUNTAIN TO THE OLYMPICS

From Bristol to the Olympics Meet Morgan Schild and the Bristol Super Six The math aftermath Maybe this new way is better? Valentine’s Day crafts Family fun awaits Helping with homework How much is too much? Cuts like a knife When your kid doesn’t make the team Embrace our winter wonderland How and where to have fun on snow and ice Community Spotlight Landmark Society of Western New York MLK Day and Black History Month Rochester celebrates it rich heritage

Meet Morgan Schild & the Bristol Super Six

INSIDE:

• • • • •

Mom, dad, math, and homework Heartfelt valentines Fun in the snow and on the ice Our Facebook posts vs. reality Black History month events

ON THE COVER Morgan Schild of Pittsford is one the Bristol Super Six — locally based teens who learned to ski at Bristol Mountain and are now winning international championships … and have their eyes focused on the Olympics. Story starts on page 6. PHOTO BY RENEE VENISKEY

COLUMNS 28 The Cynical Mother Our Facebook posts vs. our reality 26 Ask Dr. Amy Helping your shy kid cope

Curated calendar A guide to family fun. Full calendar at rocparent.com Roc Parent

January/February 2018

from bristol mountain to world champions No other mountain in the country can boast the success of so many skiers By DRESDEN ENGLE

“And here at the 2018 Winter Olympics we have yet another skier from Bristol Mountain …” That is what we will most likely hear during the 2018 Winter Olympics in February, when superstar skiers from Bristol jump uphill to the only major competition yet to tackle. Six young skiers from the Rochester area have gone from learning to ski on weekends at Bristol Mountain to winning world competitions. Of the 29 members of the U.S. Ski & Snowboard Team (new name of the U.S. Ski Team), six hail from Rochester and Pittsford. It is believed that no other ski mountain in the United States has this number of athletes represented on the U.S. Ski & Snowboard Team —and there are 425 ski mountains in the country! To boot, the six are all competing in the same discipline, the Freestyle Team, comprised of athletes who tackle moguls and aerials. “If Greater Rochester was a country, we’d be the best ski team in the world,” said Bristol Coach John Kroetz, the 2015 Domestic Coach of the Year, as deemed by the United States Ski Association. “The whole community should be super proud of what our hometown athletes have been able to accomplish.”

January/February 2018

“If Greater Rochester was a country, we’d be the best ski team in the world.” — BRISTOL COACH JOHN KROETZ

These stars of the snow are affectionately referred to as “Bristol Super Six.” Bristol Mountain is represented on the U.S. Ski & Snowboard Team by: • Jon Lillis: Aerials; eight years on the U.S. team • Dylan Walczyk: Moguls; six years • Morgan Schild: Moguls; four years

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• Harrison Smith: Aerials; four years • Chris Lillis: Aerials; two years • Patrick O ‘Flynn: Aerials; first season Three of the six hold World Cup Rookie of the Year titles, one is the current Aerials World Champion, two are U.S. National Champions, and many are World Cup competition winners.

thanks to bristol and coach johnny The Bristol Super Six grew up skiing at

Bristol Mountain where they later joined the Bristol Mountain Freestyle Team and competed under the direction of “Coach Johnny,” as he is affectionately called. “I couldn’t do this without Johnny,” said Morgan Schild, age 18, a Pittsford Sutherland grad and a top Olympic contender. Kroetz is a 10th Ward native and an Acquinas graduate. He had his own skiing days but now works by day as an engineer and dedicates countless hours to Bristol’s programs and his athletes. For his mogul runners, he hand-carves 60 to 70 moguls per course, an action her repeats at least 20 times a season. For his aerial athletes, he hand-chops the landing areas, digging down three feet to aerate the snow so it’s fluffy, allowing the skiers to sink in when landinf. “Johnny is shoveling before it’s light out, so the kids can start training as soon as they arrive,” said Drew Broderick, Bristol Resort marketing director. “He is extremely dedicated and talented. It’s not a fluke we continue to have champion skiers under John’s leadership. “Any of these kids and their parents would move the world for Johnny,” she added. “It’s a great coach/athlete relationship.” And the pride in Bristol Mountain runs as deep as their admiration for Coach Johnny. “I’m proud when these kids come back and they have the American flag on their shirt and that really hits home,” Kroetz said. “Any coach dreams of their athlete reaching the highest in their sport. For these kids to be traveling an competing around the world and to even have the Olympics in the conversation is exciting.” And when they are traveling to competition worldwide, the Bristol pride remains. Broderick noted, “Morgan and Chris will say, ‘We’re not former Bristol Mountain skiers, we are still Bristol Mountain skiers.’” By comparison, famed ski community Vail, Colorado has two members on the U.S. team. And comparing further, coaching fees at Bristol are $675. The cost for coaching at Vail? $50,000. “We recommend you start skiing for fun,” said Broderick. “And if you’re out there training and you love every minute of it, that’s a recipe for success.” Kroetz said that, of course, most kids who train aren’t going to make the Olympics. “But it’s a life sport and you’ll always

meet morgan schild Morgan starting training at Bristol with

Coach Johnny and Morgan laugh together. PHOTO BY RENEE VENISKEY

have that skill and enjoy it,” he said. “It’s why you live, whether it’s the arts, sports, or helping other people. In this case, I’m lucky because I can enjoy the sport and help other people.” Two Super Sixers who he truly has helped are the Lillis brothers of Pittsford. In 2015 Chris was the youngest man ever to win an aerial World Cup, and this past season was named World Cup Rookie of the Year. His brother Jon won that Rookie title in 2012 and now is the reigning world champion in aerials, which is only one notch below Olympics. And then there’s the lone female Super Sixer, Morgan Schild … one of the greatest mogul skiers in the world.

save the date: events at bristol Bristol Mountain will host the Toyota Freestyle Fest on Jan. 5 and 6 — the largest freestyle event in the country. More than 150 athletes from the Great Lakes states will be taking part. Admission is free and you can watch the fun outdoors or from inside the lodge. Join us for Roc Parent Day at Bristol Mountain on Saturday, Feb. 24! Hit the slopes and join us for the final weekend of the 2018 Winter Olympics. Full details will be posted on rocparent.com.

Kroetz at age 8. Fast forward a decade and she has been chosen by NBC Sports as “the” face of the Winter Olympics promotions — which required video and photos shoots in Hollywood. She also has appeared on the national NBC talk show the Megan Kelly TODAY Show. “Bristol is where I learned my love for the sport, and I still carry that with me to this day, whether I’m in China or Utah skiing,” Schild said. “We have put in so much effort and moved out west and given up our childhoods,” she noted, including having to give up her spot on the Pittsford Sutherland soccer team her junior year. “We all love our job and this is our job.” Schild grew up playing many sports through school and at the YMCA and was often told she was “better” than the boys. While she had fun beating the boys, it was going toe-to-toe with male counterparts that pushed her harder, and that continues on the slopes today. “I was there for her first jump ever,” Kroetz said. “I had to bribe her with a lollypop to do a jump into the pool.” For safety and to be able to train yearround, aerial skiers use swimming pools for landing their jumps. To access facilities needed for training for global competitions, the Super Six spend most of their time in Utah, Lake Placid, or locations in Europe. Schild’s mother had a hand in focusing her daughter toward moguls vs. aerials. “She wanted me to slow her daughter down, because she was going so fast, so she suggested we try the moguls,” Kroetz said. Schild doesn’t seem to mind that early interference from her biggest fan, her mom. “She’s the whole package — a great skier, she has a wonderful personality, she’s humble, she’s sweet, and she’s very considerate of other’s feelings,” said her mom, Lorraine Schild. “I couldn’t be more proud of her.”

it’s a family affair

“We need to give our thanks back to those who put us there,” Morgan Schild said. Due to the extensive international travel, her parents don’t often get to see her or her wins on the road. “What you’ve done for us is insane,” Schild said to her parents and other Super Six parents during a press conference in November. “All you’ve given up for us is truly special and I cannot thank you all See BRISTOL on page 8 Roc Parent

January/February 2018

amazing athletes who not only represent Bristol Mountain, but also the Finger Lakes and Rochester communities,” Fuller said.

BRISTOL, from page 7 enough for all you’ve sacrificed.” The reality is the United States does not fully fund their national teams, so the out-of-pockets costs for a skier competing at this level is $25,000. To make their children’s dreams a reality, three of the five families have sold their homes, some use credit cards to fund the adventures, and others have the added expense of a parent traveling with the teen athlete. “These folks are spending a king’s ransom sending their kids all around the world,” Kroetz said. The dedication runs as deep for the parents as it does for the skiers. “It’s an unusual situation to have these kids from one area, but that provides us parents with a great support network,” said Lorraine Schild. “My non-skiing friends have no concept of what we’re all going through, but the ski families get each other and we’ve become so close.” She and Jaime Lillis stay up together when their kids are competing in a different time zone or overseas. They can cheer or cry together, deeply feeling the wins and losses for every member of the Super Six.

Supporting the home team “We have a unique circumstance here

Morgan Schild of Pittsford poses with her supportive and adoring parents, Lorraine and Ruben. PHOTO BY RENEE VENISKEY

“During competition season it’s very stressful,” Lorraine Schild said. “We worry constantly bout injuries, since all of these sports are very extreme, and at any moment an injury can happen.” Bristol Mountain general manager, Dan Fuller, said you won’t find a tighter-knit group than the Super Six parents. “We are extremely proud of these

in Rochester,” said Senator Rich Funke, whose district includes Bristol. “These athletes are reaching the highest levels in the world. It’s truly unbelievable. It makes us all proud and it makes Bristol shine a little brighter..” A longtime TV sports anchor, Funke was a founder of the Greater Rochester Amateur Athletic Federation (GRAAF). Through this non-profit organization, money is being raised for the Super Six and their Olympic dreams. On Facebook, you can learn more on the page titled Bristol Freestyle Fun. All donations are tax deductible and 100 percent of all donations will go directly to support the Bristol Super Six. “There’s an entire community rooting me on,” Schild said, “and that is so motivating and special for me.” To learn more and to donate visit graafusa.org/bristol-freestyle.

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Embrace Winter!

BRISTOL MOUNTAIN FAMILY & FRIENDS NIGHTS A family of three can ski or snowboard from 4pm till closing, Saturday* and Sunday nights, for only $75. Discounted Rentals and Free 5pm beginner class lesson. *Bring label from Intense Milk to ticket window. PRESIDENT WEEK SCOUT NIGHTS February 20th, 21st and 22nd from 4pm - close. See your Scout Leader for details

VIP GOLD FIRST TIMER LEARN TO SKI PROGRAM This program includes three lessons, three lift tickets and rentals. Plus on graduation day we will award you with $299 FREE Elan Skis to kick off your new lifestyle. Ages 13+

January/February 2018

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BEST WISHES to the “Bristol Mountain Super Six” US Ski Team Members

that Grew Up Skiing at Bristol Mountain & Dream of Olympic Gold in February!

THE AFTERMATH OF TODAY’S MATH How to build confidence when our kids are being taught the math we didn’t learn

By MARY KOKINDA

When you snuggle up beside your child on a dark, winter night with a book in hand to do reading homework, you are simultaneously creating lasting memories together. But then there’s math homework — the math where kids are being taught things that we did not learn ourselves. Instead of bonding time, math homework can bring frustrations for parents and children. So let me help. The first rule of math homework is: You do not talk about math homework. Well, don’t talk about math in a negative way, that is.

Shortcuts vs. knowing why Math today sure is taught differently than the way most of us learned it, so you have a choice to make: Will you model open-mindedness, creative problem-solving, and self-advocacy … or will you model behaviors that subtly prompt kids to shut down during math and consider it something others are better at doing? In our school days, we were taught the short cuts without understanding the how and the why. It’s exciting that we are giving kids the chance to know more than we did — it will surely open doors for some.

See NEW MATH on page 10

In our school days, we were taught the short cuts without understanding the how and the why. It’s exciting we are giving kids the chance to know more than we did — it will surely open doors for some.

Visit one of our 2018 Open Houses Thursday, February 8th and Tuesday, March 20th 9:30-11 am and 6-7:30 pm

Classrooms and care for children 18 months to 12 years.

Advertise in Find out more at rocparent.com or email info@rocparent.com

September/October 2017

There is a lot of value in a true understanding of place value. A simple task like being able to explain how many hundreds are in a million can lead to truly imaginative thinking. If you had a choice, would you explain your idea using pictures, numbers, or just words?

All paths lead to math

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NEW MATH, from page 9

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At home you probably use more math than you realize when you consider how often you group items, follow sports scores, divvy up multiples, budget for purchases, or even plan your timing during errands. We’ve been doing this internally and invisibly. Today in school we are asking children to learn to make this work visible. You’ve thought through multiple options for the arrangement of the pictures on the wall (symmetry, scale, arrays, and more). You’ve lost track of your half-cup measuring scoop for flour and just double up on the quarter-cup when you need to (equivalent fractions). You’ve noticed that three tables won’t provide enough seating for the guests at your gathering so you set up one more (that’s the same as interpreting a remainder in division to determine if the remainder matters or not). Yes, you can function in the world without showing your work on paper and kids can, too, when they are home. At school, however, we want them to communicate accurately, critique a variety of solutions, and notice more efficient ways to do things. It is actually so powerful and exciting that I am honestly better at math from having to learn new ways of teaching it! At this time of year, expectations are being raised in the classroom and that might mean your child needs more support at home, too. Just as teachers had to make a shift, at home you can, too. Use language that promotes the idea that your child is indeed capable of doing the work, once you figure out what the work is. It might mean that your child advocates for help in school the next day, or that you contact a classmate to ask for help.

Instead of saying, “I was never good at math either,” say, “I haven’t learned it this way yet.” Instead of saying, “I was never good at math either,” say “I haven’t learned it this way yet.” Instead of saying, “ I have no clue how to do this!” say, “I bet we can find someone to explain this to us.”

What else can you do at home? Build up your child’s conceptual confidence. Let them bake using only the quarter-cup measuring scoop — the mess will be worth it. Better yet, guide them through how to do it without making a mess but let them do all the work. Hands off. Supervise and prompt them with your words, but let them feel the weight of the ingredients in their hands. With older children, point out the wording of recipes to decode what the abbreviations mean and why there might be options depending on the size of the pan. Hang up an “old-fashioned” clock and make an effort to refer to it when you are making plans. Talk out loud about how much time elapses between tasks. Hang up an actual calendar, too, within your child’s reach and talk about how you plan by days and weeks as well as hours and minutes. This models the idea that you are putting effort into organizing the world around you using patterns and numbers. Get everyone involved in planning not just the fun details but the budget for a family vacation and, while doing so, it’s ok to teach them that money can be discussed without divulging personal details. Incorporate these experiences into your day without sitting down and saying “now it’s time to do math.” Let the math you do daily be revealed.

2018

Clocks, calendars, and measuring cups

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Sunday, January 21 at 2:30 pm Nursery (age 3) to Grade 4 Call (585) 442-1770

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Homework: to help or not to help? done in limited class time. • Preparing for future class sessions and the learning of new material.

Navigating how much mom and dad should do

The amount of nightly homework should vary according to age. Most experts agree that for grades 1 to 3 there should be about 20 to 30 minutes of homework per night. For grades 4 to 6, it should increase to about 40 minutes to an hour, and from grade 7 upward it may reach two hours or more. By age 11 or 12 children should be able to do independent work, and this is where parents can play a huge role in supporting good homework habits, hopefully established in the early years. The entire family needs to be on board with supporting nightly homework routines. Here are some tips for setting expectations from the beginning of a school career:

By JAN PIERCE

Homework is a given, a major component of your children’s education. In our busy lives with schedules full of sports and dance and music lessons, families may find it difficult to make educational responsibilities a high priority. Although all parents want their children to succeed in school, many parents err more on the side of slighting the importance of nightly homework than in giving too much help, according to Sharon P. Robinson of the U.S. Dept. of Education. So, how do we properly deal with nightly homework assignments for our children? Let’s start by understanding the purpose of homework. While it serves a number of purposes, at the forefront are:

• Review and practice of new material.

• Practice in independent research and study. • Developing good habits and attitudes toward learning. • Going further in a subject than can be

Our students say it all. Appreciation of learning is what it’s all about for students at Rochester School for the Deaf.

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1. Set regular study times. You may need to be flexible, but never skip it. 2. Provide a place to study with proper lighting, materials, and resources. 3. Remove distractions. Some can study with soft music, but TV, loud music, or other children playing will distract from quality work. 4. Be a good example by reading and modeling a lifelong-learning attitude. 5. Monitor and check assignments. 6. Keep lines of communication open with teachers and schools.

While being involved in your child’s homework is encouraged and often necessary, some parents actually do the work themselves. However, the reality is this does not truly “help” your child and teachers pretty easily can detect such activity. Parents should step in, though, when children are “stumped” so they can discover together where help is needed. You may wish to help break large assignments into smaller chunks and also allow them to take a break when the going gets tough … and then try again. If homework becomes a problem, reach out to the teachers before the problem grows. Together you can navigate if there is too much work or perhaps assignments are too challenging or not challenging enough for your child. Teachers have a purpose for their homework assignments and teacher-parent cooperation helps children realize the importance of homework. Setting sound practices in place will pay dividends for years to come.

CutS like a knife Parents feel the pain when their kids – who have been lifelong athletes — don’t make the varsity team By VINCE PRESS

My son, a high school junior, has been playing basketball for 10 years. After months of hard work through summer league, weight room, fall league, open gym, and even Sunday workouts with the U of R men’s team, sadly, he did not make his high school varsity squad this year. Mind you, I don’t point to malice or unjustness from what is an excellent program, but coming from his biggest critic, I can honestly say my son was one of the best to try out. No, not one of the best players nor one of the best athletes. Nor one of the best shooters. But he is one of the best workers. One of the best teammates. One of the best practice players. One of the best role players. One of the best at showing up early and often. One of the most coachable. And likely, an even better asset the following year. Alas, all that and a six-pack of Gatorade didn’t end up mattering and the ubiquitous inspirational quotes that dot social media

about effort didn’t hold true here. My preaching ended up an empty lesson, as I stressed how work ethic, attendance, great defense and ferocious rebounding would most certainly give him a leg up on other kids. I fear future advice I offer may now be diluted. We both had that positive inkling toward the end, knowing that there really was very little separating the “last five in,” except for hustle and attitude. I’m not sure who feels worse about it, him or me. Of course, I didn’t have to walk into school the day after cuts and face my friends, hoodie up and somber. But I shared his pain watching in my rearview mirror, knowing it was likely one of the harder moments in his lightningfast 16-year existence. Weeks later, the new white Kyries still lay idle in the mudroom keeping the heartache top of mind. Soon we’ll both be sitting in the bleachers supporting the team, wondering how much time he might have seen or how much he would have

improved throughout the year. That will be tough. I have a hunch he is feeling general sadness right now and not agonizing over the details about missing out on the conditioning, the bench camaraderie, and the pasta parties — but I am for him. I know he’s not thinking that it means more time on his phone or sleeping in on Saturdays instead of being in the gym. But I am. I know he’s not thinking that there now might be an added void on his high school resume when applying to colleges. Or the missed character-building volunteer activities with the team, which are immeasurable. But I am. He’s not thinking about an abrupt end to those calls from his grandparents asking where the next game is. But I am. It’s not on his mind at 3 a.m., but it was on mine. And he’s definitely not thinking about the end-of-season banquet he won’t be attending, where the coach might have noted how much he had improved over the year, what a surprise player he turned out to be, and how he was a pleasure to have on the team — much the way past coaches have. But I am. My son will eventually be fine, with the comforting words from friends and family, other activities taking over, and time as the ultimate healer. I’m not so sure about me.

He’s not thinking that this means more time on his phone … an added void on his high school resume … or the missed character-building volunteer activities with the team ... but I am. Roc Parent

January/February 2018

Valentine crafts the family can make together By CHRISTINA KATZ

In the sprit of mid-winter fun and Valentine’s Day, here are some crafts your family can make together — and most of the items you already have on hand around the house. So, there is no reason to turn a day about love into another long to-do list. Just wait for some downtime, pull out the supplies, and jump into these simple crafts. Put down a plastic tablecloth to make messy craft cleanup a snap. Crafts are listed from easy to complex, so you can make the best choices for your kids based on their ages.

Rainbow Heart Suncatchers ♥ Tissue paper scraps ♥ Clear sheet protectors ♥ Glossy Mod Podge ♥ Foam brushes ♥ Scissors ♥ Scotch tape

Cut tissue paper scraps into one-inch squares. Use a variety of colors (including red, pink, and white). Cut the edges off one plastic sheet protector and split it into two sheets. Spread one sheet for each heart with a thin coat of Mod Podge. Cover the page with overlapping tissue squares, using a bit more Mod Podge, as needed. When you are done putting down tissue, cover the entire page with a thin layer of Mod Podge. Let dry overnight. Bend page in half and cut into one large heart. Sun-catchers will last longer if you leave them on the plastic sheet protector and tape them to windows (sheet-side-out) with transparent tape.

January/February 2018 January/February 2018 RocParent.com RocParent.com

Seed Valentines for the Birds ♥ 1/2 cup boiling water ♥ 1 envelope unflavored gelatin (2.5 teaspoons) ♥ 3 tablespoons corn syrup ♥ 4 cups birdseed ♥ 3/4 cup of flour ♥ Heart-shaped metal cookie cutters ♥ Cookie sheet ♥ Parchment or waxed paper ♥ Drinking straws Heat water to boiling in microwave in microwaveproof bowl or cup. Slowly sprinkle in gelatin, stir with fork, and let sit one minute. Add corn syrup and stir. In large bowl, combine birdseed with flour. Pour a thin stream of liquid all over the top of the dry ingredients. Spray a large mixing spoon with nonstick cooking spray and mix until ingredients are thoroughly combined. Line a cookie sheet with parchment or waxed paper. Give it a light spray of non-stick cooking spray and also spray the inside of cookie cutters. Fill each cookie cutter with birdseed mixture, while inserting a short piece of cut drinking straw (or chopstick) all the way through each cookie. If birdseed mixture is sticking, use more cooking spray, even on hands. Then, push the seed cookie through the cookie cutter and onto the tray and let sit overnight. Once dry and firm, thread the cookies with waterproof ribbon and hang outdoors where birds gather. Discard leftover seed mixture outdoors.

Glittery Mason Jars ♥ Mason jars ♥ Acrylic paint ♥ Glossy Mod Podge ♥ Foam brushes ♥ Cotton swabs ♥ Spray lacquer ♥ Tacky Glue ♥ Double-sided sticky foam squares ♥ Heart squares ♥ Real or battery-operated votives ♥ Blue painter’s tape ♥ Kitchen tongs Glittery Mason Jars may be used as candleholders or as vases for real or artificial flowers. Use any size Mason Jars. If you want candlelight to come through heart shapes, adhere heart stickers or hearts made of painter’s tape to jar. Wrap mouth of jar in blue painter’s tape to allow cover to screw back on. Paint entire jar with a layer of acrylic paint. While paint is still wet, carefully remove stickers or heart shapes. Let dry. Add a coat of Mod Podge, avoiding heart shapes, and add a liberal shake of glitter all over jar except on bottom. Clear stray glitter from heartshapes using damp cotton swabs. Let dry. Spray entire jar with a generous coat of spray lacquer to adhere glitter permanently. Dry overnight. Adhere ribbon around the jar neck using Tacky glue. Affix bottom of votive with double-sided sticky foam and place firmly inside the center of jar using kitchen tongs. (Never leave lit candles unattended).

Every Pretty Things Garland ♥ Fabric or ribbon scraps ♥ Gift tags ♥ Doilies ♥ Baubles and tassels ♥ Felt ornaments ♥ Paper Valentines ♥ Tiny clothespins ♥ Hole puncher

Embellished Jewelry Boxes ♥ Cardboard jewelry gift boxes ♥ Acrylic paint ♥ Glossy Mod Podge ♥ Foam brushes ♥ Tissue paper scraps ♥ Glitter

♥ Ribbon ♥ Magazine cut-outs ♥ Spray lacquer ♥ Tacky glue ♥ Leftover jewelry charms ♥ Stick-on embellishments ♥ Wire rack

Take a string of white lights. Then, go around your house in search of craft, birthday, and entertaining supplies, pulling out anything red, pink, and white that is heart-shaped, frilly, glittery, or pretty. Attach items using tiny clothespins or punch a hole and tie items on with ribbon. Tie snugly so items don’t slide. Hang completed garland up a stairway, across a mantel or hutch, or on a curtain rod. Unplug when not attended.

Paint the box inside and out, as needed, or cover with Mod Podge and tissue cut into one-inch squares. Let dry on wire rack. Add a thin layer of paint or Mod Podge, magazine cutouts, another layer of Mod Podge, and sprinkle lightly or thickly with glitter. Let dry, tap off excess glitter, and then spray with a generous coat of spray lacquer to adhere glitter permanently. Let dry. Add embellishments using Tacky glue as needed. Let dry. Drying times will vary, but as long as you apply liquids in a thin layer, they will dry quickly.

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January/february 2018

Skiing, sledding, and skating … Rochester is a winter wonderland! By MARK HOUSER

Winter fun is underway in and around Rochester — a city that accumulated 107 inches of snow last winter. Rochester’s coldest season is a winter wonderland, so get out and enjoy it and even embrace it. While it’s tempting to stay inside and hibernate until spring, there are numerous opportunities knocking at your door, from skiing and sledding at local parks to ice skating at large arenas. It’s never too early to learn to ski. These kids are practicing their downhill turns with their instructor at Hunt Hollow Ski Club in Naples. PROVIDED PHOTO

January/February 2018 January/February 2018 RocParent.com RocParent.com

SKI LESSONS BEFORE SLOPES

For those more daring there are also parks that offer skiing and snowboarding lessons, and rentals. Northampton and Powder Mills parks have teamed up with Swain Resort to offer ski and snowboarding lessons. Camps are offered at both parks for either three or four days. The three-day camp runs for four hours each day while the fourday classes offer hour-long sessions. Students get a free voucher to Swain so that campers get to experience the bigger slopes. A single private lesson is $40 and a four-pack is $179 (with the fourth lesson at Swain). Group lessons are also available. A season pass for using both Powder Mills and Northampton ski slopes is $99. Bristol Mountain Resort and Hunt Hollow also offer ski lessons and packages. Bristol has season-long coaching for all levels of skiers and snowboarders.

Nordic Fest at Cumming Nature Center. PROVIDED

OUTDOOR FUN Mendon Ponds Winterfest Sunday, Jan. 14 Bring the whole family to Mendon Ponds Park for a FREE, fun-filled, actionpacked day featuring: arts & crafts, sledding, hikes, food & refreshments, demos and learning opportunities! The event is spread throughout the park — come on out! When: 11 a.m. - 3 p.m. Tickets: Free event Where: Mendon Ponds Park, 95 Douglas Road, Honeoye Falls More info: monroecounty. gov/parks-winterfest Cumming Nature Center Nordic Fest February 17 & 18

SKATE LESSONS BEFORE ICE

The Rochester Institute of Technology offers a learn-to-skate program, with sessions on Saturdays and Sundays from 1 to 3 p.m. The program is recognized nationally by U.S. Figure Skating, so top-notch coaching is ensured. The six-week session is $80 and is held at the campus’ Frank Ritter Ice Arena for those 3 years and older. Rental skates are free for the first day of class, and then available for $3 each class from then on. For skaters of all levels, RIT offers open-skate sessions throughout the week, with schedules posted online. Luke M. Mekker, executive director of University Arenas at RIT, said his department prides itself on the positive customer experience encountered at the two on-campus ice arenas, as well as the quality of the ice and upkeep. Open skate is $5 for the public and cheaper for RIT students, See WINTER FUN on page 18

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Embrace the best of winter at Nordic Fest! Participate in snowshoe races and ski orienteering and learn about winter wear in presentations by L.L. Bean and The North Face. Dig into locally sourced chili (vegetarian option available) and homemade baked goods for purchase to benefit the Genesee Valley Ski Patrol. Crafts, snow fort building and more for the kids! When: 11 a.m. – 2:30 p.m. Tickets: Free for RMSC members; requested donation of $3/individual; $10/ family general public Where: RMSC Cumming Nature Center, 6472 Gulick Road, Naples More info: rmsc.org Roc 17 Parent January/February 2018 17

Rochester is a winter wonderland! A LIST OF FRIGID FAMILY FUN Here’s a roundup of some of the fun snow and ice opportunities around the virtual snow globe that is Rochester for the next few months: ICE SKATING

Bill Gray’s Iceplex 2700 Brighton-Henrietta Townline Road, Rochester (585) 424-4625 | billgraysiceplex.com Hours: Vary based on rink availability Prices: Adults: $7; Youth, seniors, and veterans: $4 Skate Rental: $4 Genesee Valley Sports Complex 131 Elmwood Ave., Rochester (585) 428-7888 | cityofrochester.gov/GVPSC/ Hours: Noon-1:15 p.m. Monday-Friday; 5-6:15 p.m. Saturday; 1-4 p.m. Sunday Prices: Adults (18+): $5; Youth (17 and under): $2; College students with ID: $3; Skate Rental: $3

WINTER FUN, from page 17 children under the age of 6, and senior citizens. Skate rental is available for all ages for $3. If you want to see skating in action, RIT also has the only Division One hockey program in the area. The nationally recognized men’s and women’s teams play their home games at the Gene Polisseni Center. Schedules can be found on the RIT website at rittickets.com. Ticket prices start at $6. The Bill Gray’s Iceplex also offers learn-to-skate lessons, offering a fun and safe skating experience for the beginner as well as the more advanced skater. An eight-week session is $115. The Iceplex also offers open public skating. “There’s no doubt about it, zooming around on the ice is a fantastic way to embrace winter and get some exercise at the same time,” said Frank Carnevale, program director at Bill Gray’s Iceplex. “It is a lifelong activity that provides many positive benefits, so why not learn how to skate?” Many of the smaller ice arenas around towns also offer skate lessons.

SLEDDING HILLS

When wanting to tackle some frigid family fun, the most inexpensive and accessible outing is sledding. The Rochester area features seven parks that are prime spots for sledding. On the west side there’s Black Creek Park in Chili and Northampton Park in Spencerport. On the east side, there are sledding hills in Powder Mills Park in Pittsford, Mendon Ponds in Mendon, Webster Park in Webster, and Ellison Park in Penfield, Hills for fun and frolic in the city can be found in Cobb’s Hill, Highland, and Genesee Valley parks. Beyond the free parks of the Monroe County parks system, there’s Glacier Ridge Snow Tubing, a part of soccer-star Doug Miller’s sports complex. He provides the hill, the tubes, and the snow, plus a lift to the top, via a people mover. An all-day pass is $16 per person and a season pass is $100.

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Manhattan Square Park/ Martin Luther King Jr. Park (outdoor skating in downtown Rochester) 353 Court Street, Rochester (585) 428-7541 | cityofrochester.gov Hours: Noon-5 p.m. Saturday and Sunday; 7:20 p.m.-8:50 p.m. Saturday Prices: General admission: $5 Children 17 and under: $2 Families (max 2 adults/4kids): $14 Skate rental: $3 RIT 1 Lomb Memorial Drive, Rochester (585) 475-5126 | rit.edu/fa/arenas Hours: Vary based on arena availability Prices: General admission: $5; Children under 6: $3; Seniors: $3 Skate rental: $3 Scottsville Ice Arena 2000 Scottsville-Chili Road, Scottsville

Thomas Creek Ice Arena/ Rochester Ice Center 80 Lyndon Road, Fairport (585) 223-2160 | tcice.com Hours: Times vary/weekend options Prices: Adults: $7; Children (12 and under): $5; Seniors and veterans: $4 Skate Rental: $3

Kids from tots to teens can learn to skate at Bill Grayâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Iceplex. PROVIDED PHOTO

(585) 889-1817 | scottsvilleicearena.com Hours: 7-9 p.m. Saturdays; 3-5 p.m. Sundays Prices: General Admission: $5; Children under 5: $3; Family price (max 5): $20 Skate rental: $3

Village Sports 2830 Baird Road, Fairport (585) 299-1979 | villagesports.net Hours: 11:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. school days (times vary during school breaks) Prices: General Admission: $6 Skate Rental: $3 Webster Ice Arena 865 Publishers Parkway, Webster (585) 787-3530 | websterarena.org See WINTER FUN on page 20

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Rochester is a winter wonderland! WINTER FUN, from page 19

Rentals: Adults: $30; Juniors (under 12): $20

Hours: Vary based on rink availability Prices: General admission: $6; Children 8 and under: $5 Skate rental: $3

Having fun skiing at Northhampton Park. PROVIDED PHOTO

Northhampton Park 304 Salmon Creek Road, Brockport (585) 637-2345 swain.com/monroe-county-parks Hours: 4:30 to 8:30 p.m. Thursdays and Fridays; 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. Saturdays; 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sundays Prices: Season pass: $99 (Includes Powder Mills Park) Lift ticket: $12 Rentals: $15

Hunt Hollow Ski Club 7532 County RD #36, Naples (585) 374-5428 hunthollow.com Hours for public: 9 a.m.-9 p.m. Wednesdays-Fridays; also open on school holidays Prices: Adult: $45 all day/$40 after 3 p.m.; Junior/senior: $35 all day/$30 after 3 p.m.

Powder Mills Park 154 Park Road, Pittsford (585) 753-7275 swain.com/monroe-county-parks/ Hours: 1 to 6 p.m. Saturdays and Sundays Prices: Season pass: $99 (Includes Northampton) Lift ticket: $12 Rentals: $15

SKIING

Bristol Mountain Ski Resort 5662 NY-64, Canandaigua (585) 374-6000 bristolmountain.com Hours: 9 a.m.-9 p.m. Monday-Thursday; 9 a.m. to 10 p.m. Friday; 8:30 a.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday; 8:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. Sunday; Hours may vary in March Prices: Adult: $60 weekdays and $70 weekends (four hours) and $63 to $74 (eight hours); Junior (8-12/senior (70+): $49 to $59; Children (7 and younger): FREE with adult purchase. Reduced rates after 4 p.m. Rentals: Ski or snowboard: $20 to $40 (helmets $10)

January/February 2018

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COMMUNITY SPOTLIGHT

Celebrating 80 years protecting our region’s architectural, cultural, and historical heritage What is the Landmark Society of Western New York? The Landmark Society of Western New York Inc. is one of the nation’s oldest and most active historic preservation organizations. It is a not-for-profit membership organization dedicated to preserving, interpreting, and fostering interest in the architectural, historical, and cultural heritage of our region. The Landmark Society’s service area covers nine counties in Western New York, centered on the City of Rochester. What is the mission of the Landmark Society of Western NY? Our mission is to protect the unique architectural heritage of our region and promote preservation and planning that fosters healthy, livable, and sustainable communities. How and when did the Landmark Society get started? The Landmark Society was organized 80 years ago in 1937, preceding by 10 years the founding of the National Trust for Historic Preservation, of which it is a charter member. Helen Ellwanger led a group of volunteers in founding an organization to protect and preserve the Campbell-Whittlesey mansion in the his-

The Stone-Tolan House in Brighton, built in 1792, is the oldest standing building in Monroe County. Closed for the winter, tours will resume April 1. PROVIDED PHOTO

toric Corn Hill neighborhood of Rochester. Built on this modest foundation, the Landmark Society has grown into a preservation organization with a state and national reputation. What is the African American Landmarks Initiative? As a part of the 75th Anniversary

campaign in 2012, the Landmark Society launched an African American Landmarks Initiative to identify little-known or non-traditional sites associated with the African-American community in the Rochester area and thereby inspire See LANDMARK on page 22

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LANDMARK, from page 21 residents and attract investment. Following three public listening sessions, several target locations were chosen and grant funds were directed for a feasibility study that included cost estimates, use and reuse ideas, and streetscaping concepts. Tell us about your annual event “Walk the Walk.” During the “Walk the Walk” school performances on Feb. 8 and 9, students will meet actors portraying Rochester’s African-American ancestors. Students will experience an onstage performance, as each ancestor shares his or her story. Interactive activities keep students engaged during the performance, with provided materials preparing students and reinforcing content. Who are the Landmark Society’s community partners? 19th Ward Community Association: Preserves the residential character of Rochester’s historic and multi-cultural 19th Ward neighborhood. Arcade Historical Society: Dedicated to collecting and preserving records and

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Our mission is to protect the unique architectural heritage of our region and promote preservation and planning that fosters healthy, livable, and sustainable communities. artifacts that illustrate the history of the town of Arcade. Avon Preservation & Historical Society: Gathers, preserves, and advances history of the town and village of Avon. Corn Hill Neighbors Association: Protects and promotes the residential and historical character and beauty of the Corn Hill neighborhood, and encourages civic spirit, good will, and friendship between residents. Greece Historical Society: Collect, research and preserve the history of the town. Historic Brighton: Celebrating and educating about Brighton’s dynamic past.

Historic Pittsford: Dedicated to awareness of historical residential and commercial properties in the village and town of Pittsford. Historic Ithaca: Promotes the value and enhancement of Ithaca’s historic buildings and neighborhoods through education, advocacy, and action. Pro-Brockport: A not-for-profit volunteer Political Action Committee. Providence Housing Development: Develops, finances, and manages affordable housing for seniors, individuals with special needs, and families. Rochester Regional Community Design Center: Promotes healthy communities by encouraging excellence in design of buildings and neighborhoods, as well as thoughtful use of existing resources. South Bristol Historical Society: Collects and preserves historical memorabilia and important records and maintain an historical reference center. Western Monroe Historical Society: Preserves the Morgan-Manning House and the cultural and historical heritage of the Brockport area. Learn more about the Landmark Society at landmarksociety.org

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Markers and monuments memorialize

Frederick Douglass Rochester’s most illustrious citizen

By DRESDEN ENGLE

The Rochester region has a rich black heritage. The name at the top of the list of African-American forefathers is Frederick Douglass. The former slave was an abolitionist, orator, and publisher, who made Rochester his home from 1847 to 1872. His final resting place is here as well, in Mt. Hope Cemetery. There’s a prominent highway bridge named for him and Susan B. Anthony (shortened to the “Freddy Sue” during quick traffic reports) and a statue of the two friends near Ms. Anthony’s historic home. But beyond that we only have markers and monuments to remind us this great man walked amongst our Rochester relatives — and, more importantly, worked to change the world’s thinking from a print office on Main Street.

From a one-room office on the second floor of the Talman Building, Douglass launched The North Star on Dec. 3, 1847. This anti-slavery newspaper was named for the bright star that escaped slavery and freed slaves followed to get north of the Mason-Dixon line. Douglass came to Rochester from Maryland in the 1840s because he saw Rochester as progressive. Though Rochester had a reputation as a reform-

The Talman Building in the 1870s, at left, and how it appears today at 25 E. Main St. in Rochester. PROVIDED PHOTO 24

January/February 2018

This 1899 statue of Frederick Douglass is the country’s first monument dedicated in honor of an African-American citizen. PROVIDED PHOTO

minded city in the 19th century, Douglass and his publication took a while to win over the public. As he noted in his 1892 autobiography, “it was plain that many of them (Rochesterians) did not well relish my presence amongst them. This feeling, however, wore away gradually, as the people knew more of me and my works.” Despite an initial lukewarm reception in Rochester, The North Star — which was later renamed Frederick Douglass’ Paper and then Frederick Douglass’ Monthly

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— went on to become one of the most popular and influential anti-slavery publications in the world. Newspaper issues penned and published in Rochester reached thousands of readers across the United States, the West Indies, and Europe. The Talman uilding still stands today on East Main, between St. Paul and Exchange streets. A plaque noting the site’s great significance in history was affixed near the entrance in 1976. The grandest tribute to Douglass in Rochester can be found in Highland Park near the Highland Bowl. Many historians claim this statue of Douglass is the FIRST monument in the United States erected in honor of an African-American citizen. It was erected in 1899 in front of the city’s train station at the corner of St. Paul Street and Central Avenue on June 8, 1899. Ten thousand people attended the monument’s unveiling, including state Gov. Theodore Roosevelt. At the event Rochester Mayor George E. Warner, said, “It is fitting that it should stand near a great portal of our city where the thousands who enter it may see that she is willing to acknowledge to the world that her most illustrious citizen was not a white man.” Due to pollution and congestion near the station, the monument was moved to the more serene Highland Park setting in 1941. The statue, now fittingly resides less than 300 yards from where his home once stood on South Avenue — a home that

often offered assistance in the safe passage to enslaved Americans on their road to freedom.

Celebrating Black History A curated selection of events, exhibits and more celebrating Martin Luther King, Jr. Day and Black History Month Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Youth Art Night Mt. Olivet Baptist Church 6 to 8:30 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 14

City of Rochester’s Black Heritage Month events The City of Rochester’s Black Heritage Committee has planned a full schedule of events for the month of February 2018. An Evening of Art & Jazz Thursday, Feb. 1 5:30 to 7 p.m. City Hall Link Gallery, 30 Church St., Rochester FREE admission.

The Black Student Caucus of Colgate Rochester Crozer Divinity School hosts and sponsors the Lift Every Voice Scholarship and the “Who Are We and Where Do We Go From Here?” art exhibit for students in Monroe County. Open to the public. crcds.edu

10:30 a.m. to Noon, Monday, Jan. 15

School Of The Arts Concert Wednesday, Feb. 7 12:15 to 1:15 p.m. City Hall Link Gallery, 30 Church St., Rochester FREE admission.

Join members of the Blackstorytelling League of Rochester as they pass on stories of history, heritage, and culture. Open to the public but seating is limited. brightonlibrary.org

Food Tasting Friday, Feb .16 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. City Hall Link Gallery, 30 Church St., Rochester FREE admission.

Celebrating Diversity The Strong National Museum of Play

Heritage Gospel Concert With AKOMA and Voice of Thunder Saturday, Feb. 17 6 to 8 p.m. First Genesis Baptist Church 292 Hudson Ave., Rochester

Blackstorytelling League of Rochester Brighton Memorial Library

11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Monday, Jan. 15 Enjoy special performances and programming honoring the legacy of Martin Luther King Jr. Watch Bright Star Theatre perform African Folktales and Jackie Robinson. Meet members of Alfred University’s Art Force Five and help create fun crafts with the team. View mosaics of civil rights leaders and their inspiring quotes. Free with museum admission. museumofplay.org Black History Month Family Fun Day Memorial Art Gallery Noon to 5 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 17 The whole family is invited to celebrate Black History Month with art activities, music and dance, cultural displays, tours and storytelling. mag.rochester.edu

The City of Rochester’s Black Heritage Month celebration includes a food tasting at City Hall on Feb. 16. PROVIDED PHOTO

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Storytelling Thursday, Feb. 22 Noon to 1:30 p.m. Edgerton Recreation Center 41 Backus St., Rochester FREE admission Black Heritage Gala Saturday, March 10 6 p.m. to Midnight Rochester Riverside Convention Center 123 E. Main St., Rochester Tickets: $60 ($55 before Jan. 31) (585) 428-9857 Roc Parent

January/February 2018

Navigating the waters when your kid only sees the sharks Advice for helping your shy kid deal with social situations Dear Dr. Amy: I am concerned about my 11-year-old son. He gets so uncomfortable when it comes to talking to people, even relatives and family friends. If he isn’t able to avoid these situations, I see him looking panicked and getting sweaty. I’m not sure I’m the right person to help him as I have developed pretty fail-safe ways to avoid these interactions, but I don’t want him to be like me. What can I do? Signed, The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far from the Tree Dear Tree: Many people get anxious in social situations. Some even feel paralyzed, whether speaking up in class, making a phone call, or talking to someone new. One of my own sons, who is very dramatic and outgoing at home, was nervous about trying out for the school play. I encouraged him to go to the information session prior to auditions and to ask his twin brother to go along. He then convinced his brother and a couple of close friends to move on to the audition. Once there, the skilled and sensitive music director had the kids start by singing together, then moved to smaller groups, and eventually invited kids to demonstrate skills individually. Seeing the other kids do it can show a more reluctant kid that it can be done without vomiting or peeing their pants. And if a child declines on the solo, maybe they get a part in the chorus – a great way to get even more comfortable with performing. 26

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Whatever it is, kids (and adults) will find that this gets easier over time and with practice. There are lots of things you can do to help a child learn to deal with these feelings.

Don’t avoid things that make you uncomfortable “Getting out of these situations may feel better for the moment, but you will still feel anxious the next time you are faced with a similar situation,” said Dr. Michael Scharf, a Rochester-based child and adolescent psychiatrist. “Avoidance is not the solution.”

Model bravery Situations like talking with new people or giving a presentation are part of life. If you know me, you’ve probably heard me say, “The water doesn’t get any warmer.” Push yourself, even a little. And support your child in doing the same. I’m not saying to jump into the freezing cold pool, but rather, start by getting your feet wet. Then, next time, get in up to your knees. Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. When a situation comes up, try to help your child face his fears and navigate the terrain. It is unlikely the worst-case scenario will happen, but it’s often helpful to discuss that. Let a child explore their version of the worst-case scenario and think through how they would handle it. I would argue that you might be the best person to do this with your child, as you can be truly empathetic to how he might feel. Don’t make it be about you, but rather look for opportunities to

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model bravery and be upfront about the fact that you, too, needed to push yourself.

Practice

As an experiment, ask him to try doing something that makes him a little uncomfortable. Start small. Don’t start by asking him to call the person he has a crush on. Start with a brief phone call to a relative or family friend he feels close to. Or, if he wants to join a school activity but feels trepidation, suggest he bring a friend to sit in on the first meeting.

Adjust expectations

Just because most kids act like excited monkeys at the mention of a birthday party, it is OK if your child is trepidatious. Rethinking your perception of fun is key. If a kid is sitting on the sidelines watching, it doesn’t mean they aren’t having fun. Let go of your expectations about what “fun” looks like. Honestly, we do that all the time with our friends, colleagues and (ahem) spouses. For example, while I enjoy going out with lots of friends and have been known to talk to a lamp if it is the only thing in the room, my husband enjoys playing the occasional interactive video game with other grown men online. I would rather go to a worm wrestle! Clearly, we have some differences in how we enjoy interacting with others. But that’s okay. We can’t assume there is a one-sizefits-all definition of fun. ( Just don’t poke fun at your kid the way I do my husband. By the way, he gives it right back to me – he’s the one that said the thing about the lamp.)

Find your people Don’t forget to take care of yourself, too. When it seems like everyone else’s kid can jump into social situations with ease, it can feel isolating and exhausting. Find another parent who understands. Someone who can empathize with the challenges and the blessings of a child who is anxious or highly sensitive. Go have coffee with a member of the tribe. It can be a relief to talk with someone else who gets it. Someone who understands that it can be frustrating but who is also grateful to be raising a feelingsoriented little human in a world that is in need of sensitivity and empathy.

Praise And of course every success — whether it’s sitting on the outskirts of a party or fully engaging — merits praise. It can be something simple like, “It was cool how you went over and sat down to have cake.” Saying something positive is a much better tactic than getting into a power struggle about the definition of a good time. In fact, when I get home later after having coffee with my girlfriends, I’m going to say to my husband, “It was nice how you complimented your online friend on that

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy … Let a child explore their version of the worst-case scenario and think through how they would handle it.

double annihilation last night” (wink). Remember, if being anxious across many settings and situations is causing your child to miss school or fail to engage with other people, it may be time to talk to your pediatric provider. Sometimes, a child needs a more-skilled

professional to help navigate these waters, when everything they see looks like a shark. And by the way, if you’re feeling anxious about asking another parent to have coffee, this is a good time to push yourself. Yes. Really. You can.

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January/February 2018

The King a n n a e D By

Meanwhile, behind-the-scenes of our happy Facebook posts … Do we need to post dirty laundry or write fairy tales to keep up with the Joneses? Scrolling through Facebook can be draining, especially if you’re having a bad day. I recently had the Facebook blues. That morning at work I sounded like Foghorn Leghorn reading a story on the radio. I spilled coffee on my pants. Then, I logged online. Once again, there was “that friend” bragging about her perfect life. She gives a daily shout-out to her husband who never does anything wrong. He doesn’t even have a Facebook account. Her job is also perfect. Her children, too. You know it’s a lie because a friend of a friend saw her kid throwing a tantrum on the floor of Target. But, it still doesn’t stop you from second guessing everything in your life — What am I doing wrong? There have been times when I thought about deleting social media accounts because the pressure to keep up with the Joneses is overwhelming. There are makeup and fitness gurus taking daily selfies. I buy most of my makeup off the clearance rack and the only shake I drink is one that includes ice cream. I don’t air my dirty laundry on social media. (I don’t think there are enough characters in a post.) But I don’t have the time or energy to write a fairy tale either. Here are a few common Facebook posts and what I surmise “actually” happened: Facebook: Shopping with my lovely daughter! Reality: Your daughter cried because she wanted an overpriced toy. You had to scold 28

January/February 2018

over which movie to watch. One child complained that the other got more popcorn. You failed them for not counting each popped kernel before placing it in their bowls. Facebook: Great job soccer team! Reality: You sat outside in the cold and rain for hours to watch your son play a total of three minutes. You love him, so it was worth it … for three minutes. Facebook: I married the perfect man! Happy Anniversary, Hubster! Reality: He leaves his socks on the ground and would rather play an app on his phone than have a conversation.

her through clenched teeth while having a hot flash. Facebook: Enjoying a delicious dinner with the family! Reality: They enjoyed a delicious dinner. You snagged a bite of cold food here and there in between runs for drink refills, napkins, and reminding your kid to eat. Facebook: Movie night! Fun! Reality: You spent 30 minutes arguing

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Facebook: All smiles on the first day of school! Reality: Your teenager didn’t want to get out of bed. Your daughter cried because you wouldn’t let her bring the overpriced baby doll to school. Then, you broke the world record for “the most times telling your children to put their shoes on in a day.” Sure, it’s not all bad. We have good times and do genuinely feel “Hashtag Blessed” on occasion. I would go one step further and say there are great memories tucked in our photo albums, but that’s also not always as it seems. There are highs and lows. There is laughter and tears. It’s real life … and not necessarily your Facebook status.

FEBRUARY SCHOOL BREAK: Fun options for Feb. 19-23 When school is closed and the outdoors is cold, your kids need a fun, warm, and safe place to be. Here are some options for February winter break, taking place the week of Feb. 19 to 23. YMCA Vacation Fun Clubs Participating branches of the YMCA of Greater Rochester: Bay View, Carlson Metrocenter, Eastside, Maplewood, Monroe, and Westside Activity Focus: Games, arts, crafts and more — programs vary per branch Ages: 5-12 Cost: Contact individual branches for specific pricing information. More info: rochesterymca.org/ vacation-fun-club Winter Break Zoo Camp Seneca Park Zoo 2222 St. Paul St., Rochester Activity Focus: ”Hot and Cold” — Animal Habitats Ages: 5-9 Cost: Half-day (9 a.m.-Noon) $135 members/$155 non-members; Full-day

February Break Forest School Immersion Cumming Nature Center 6472 Gulick Road, Naples Activity Focus: Unstructured play and hands-on projects Ages: 4-12 Cost: Full week: $180 members/$200 non-members (discounts available for multiple children) More info: rmsc.org/cumming-naturecenter/forest-school (9 a.m.-4 p.m.) $210 members/$230 non-members More info: senecaparkzoo.org/event/ winter-break-zoocamp

February Break Curiosity Camp: Big Green Science Rochester Museum and Science Center 657 East Ave., Rochester Activity Focus: The Science of Movies Ages: 6-11 (campers will be grouped by age) Cost: Full week: $245 members/$260 non-members Single day: $55 More info: rmsc.org/science-museum/ camps

Rock Ventures School Break Camp 1044 University Avenue, Rochester Activity Focus: Climbing, games, ropes courses, and giants ladder. Ages: 6-13 Cost: Half day $65; full day $80; and full week $199 (half day) and $250 (full day) More info: rockventures.net/schoolbreak-camps ArtsROC Minecraft and LEGO Day Camps 3462 Monroe Ave., Pittsford Activity Focus: Minecraft and LEGOs Ages: 5-14 Cost: half day $30; full day $60; full week $285 (full day) More info: artsroc.net

Is Your Medicine Safe at Home? Only YOU Can Secure Your Rx! Help us prevent addiction, accidental poisoning & protect the environment!

MONITOR– count your medication regularly

SECURE– lock up any medication you do not want anyone to access

DISPOSE– drop off any unwanted/unused and expired medication to your local disposal site

Medication Drop Box Locations: Bristol: Town Hall

Farmington: State Troopers

Canandaigua: FLCC (Keuka Wing) The Medicine Shoppe Ontario County DMV Office Thompson Hospital (lobby) Mental Health Clinic Police Station (lobby)

Clifton Springs: Hospital (Lobby)

More than a food bank.

Geneva: North St. Pharmacy Police Station

Phelps: Community Center

Richmond: Town Hall

Rushville: Village Hall

Shortsville/Manchester: Red Jacket Pharmacy

Nutrition Education, After-School and Summer Meals, Mobile Pantries, Curbside Markets, Urban Farm Stands, Community Gardens, Local Produce Processing, Workforce Development. At Foodlink, we’re more than a food bank. Visit foodlinkny.org to find out more.

Victor: Mead Square Pharmacy Questions, please call us at 585-396-4554.

Roc Parent

January/February 2018

Boy toy or girl toy? This Rochester dad wishes there were no gender divisions in play

By TOM CZARNIAK

Every year or two it seems like there’s a great debate about separating toys by gender. Whether it be blue or pink sections in toy stores, prizes in a kid’s meal, or even just the packaging, many have argued these distinctions can have adverse effects on a child’s development. Personally, I always thought it was much ado about nothing. As long as the parents don’t make a big deal about it, why would the kid? Besides, the classifications were simply guidelines to make finding things easier. There’s no harm in that, right? Now that I’m a dad, I had the displeasure of finding out I was, in fact, wrong. Recently while waiting in the drive-thru line of a fast-food establishment (don’t

January/February 2018

judge), my four-and half-year-old daughter looked at me through the rearview mirror and said for the first time, and with conviction, “I don’t like boy toys. Boy toys are yucky.” My heart broke. See, in the past, whenever I would be asked if we wanted a girl toy or a boy toy, I simply picked the one that I knew my daughter would like the most. Sometimes it was the pony, sometimes it was the hero with the cape. At home, she has always had full access to whatever toy she wanted, instructional in nature or just for fun. She’s equally at ease playing with her dollhouse as she is with her race cars. She loves to look through comic books and play catch with the football just as

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much as she likes to take care of her toy horse. She is as eager to learn math as she is to start reading on her own. She loves to wear dresses and skirts but prefers wearing t-shirts and comfy pants. Half her shirts come from the “boy sections” (HINT: they almost always have the cooler licensed character tees). So even though her mother and I have done our best to let her figure out who she is and what she likes, something shifted her way of thinking before we pulled up to order dinner that night. Something that fundamentally changed her worldview on what was OK for her to

play with and what wasn’t. Yes, her sweeping declaration was in response to the “girl or boy toy” question but her attitude about it had been pre-formed before it was asked. She has no reply as to how and why she came to form her new opinion. My wife and I both think something must have happened at school — a classmate, boy or girl, probably said something to divide the gender lines of play. Or maybe, as her young brain develops, she’s picking up the gender divisions on her own. Now that I’m more aware myself, especially near the holiday shopping season, the more ridiculous and prevalent they seem. Back to the drive-thru, all I could do that night was mentally repair my heart, grip the steering wheel, take a deep breath, and try to explain there really isn’t anything different between a boy toy and a girl toy. I told her that she could still play with whatever she wanted, just like she always has. She didn’t say much on the way home but she didn’t seem convinced. Since then, I still don’t have all the answers and I’m not convinced going all genderneutral is the way to go. And yet, I worry my daughter will already suppress part of who she is, just because of some silly marketing distinction. I say “silly” because when your daughter suddenly thinks it’s not OK to play with trucks anymore, one hardly cares what the sales data charts show in some CEO’s boardroom. Thankfully, my daughter’s altered attitude hasn’t had much affect at home or in practice, though she recently repeated her new mantra to her mother during our bedtime routine. This time it hurt worse watching my wife’s heart break.

I worry my daughter will already suppress part of who she is, just because of some silly marketing distinction.

Roc Parent

January/February 2018

AGES 15 TO 18 Once and For All By Sarah Dessen

Love is in the air ... and on bookshelves By DEENA VIVIANI

What better way to ward off the cold this winter than with a book that gives you the warm fuzzies? Whether about romantic love, love for a family member or a pet, or even love for one’s self, these books will have you swooning. They make great gifts for your valentine, too! AGES 3 TO 7 Heart 2 Heart By Lois Ehlert

“Do you ♥ someone special? Then this book is 4U!” In the world of emojis and text speak, how can anyone pass up these clever lines on the inside flap of this book? And it only gets better from there. Pages full of rebus style text, and pictures of fruits and vegetables beg to be read out loud. Two favorite examples are, “Do u carrot all 4 me?” and “My heart starts pumpkin from my head down tomatoes.” Clever, right? The small size of this book makes a great gift perfect for little hands, and the bright colors in Ehlert’s signature illustration style will assist in teaching kids about pronunciations and plays on words. Her 28th picture book will not disappoint readers who are familiar with her previous books about nature and colors. Heart icons and LOLs from beginning to end. (Beach Lane Books, 2017, hardcover, $9.99) 32

January/February 2018

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Louna works for her mother in a high-end wedding planning business, and she used to believe in love “once and for all.” Then she lost the love of her life. Now she struggles to date while training her new pain-inthe-butt co-worker, Ambrose, who has no problem with flings. Louna may need to open herself up to the possibility that “perfect” can strike twice in order to heal her heart. In true Dessen style, there are multiple levels and meanings in some of the phrases and many events in this book, which makes it so much more than a romance novel. Unlike Dessen’s 12 previous novels, there are every-other-chapter flashbacks that slowly reveal what happened to Louna’s boyfriend and add tension to the story. The ripped-from-the-headlines tragedy angle is also new for Dessen, and is a refreshing take on her coming-of-age collection. Laugh-out-loud dialog between Louna, Ambrose, and her mother’s business partner, is energizing, as are the amusing stories about bridezillas and weddings in general. If you haven’t already picked up a novel by this Margaret A. Edwards Award-winning author for her body of work for teens, start now. (Viking, 2017, hardcover, $19.99)

AGES 8 TO 12 Garvey’s Choice By Nikki Grimes

Garvey knows he’s overweight, but he’s tired of being teased about it by his classmates, and sick of his father not accepting his lack of athleticism. He also knows he is good at singing, so when he has the opportunity to audition for the school chorus, he goes for it. Through it he finds something he loves and that he can love about himself. Written in verse, this middle-grade novel touches on friendships, family dynamics, and finding one’s niche. The format — which contains lots of white space on each page — is a format recommended to reluctant readers. Garvey’s relationship with his father grows over the course of the novel, and his interest in his physical health grows, which shows the additional love and care he is giving himself. A sweet story that shows the power of being true to one’s self, despite outside pressures and stereotypes. (WordSong, 2016, hardcover, $16.95)

PICTURE BOOKS AGES 3 to 5 Catch a Kiss

Written by Deborah Diesen Illustrated by Kris Aro McLeod (Sleeping Bear Press, 2016, hardcover, $15.99)

AGES 3 to 5 We Love You, Rosie!

Written by Cynthia Rylant Illustrated by Linda Davick (Beach Lane Books, 2017, hardcover, $17.99)

AGES 4 to 8 Wally Wants to Hug

Written by Barbara Joosse Illustrated by Rebecca Ashdown (Little Bee Books, 2017, hardcover, $16.99)

AGES 4 to 8 XO, Ox: A Love Story

Written by Adam Rex Illustrated by Scott Campbell (Roaring Brook Press, 2017, hardcover, $17.99)

MIDDLE GRADE AGES 8 to 12 I Love You, Michael Collins By Lauren Baratz-Logsted (Farrar Straus Giroux, 2017, hardcover, $16.99)

AGES 8 to 12 Royal Crush

By Meg Cabot (Feiwel & Friends, 2017, hardcover, $16.99)

AGES 8 to 12 When Friendship Followed Me Home By Paul Griffin (Puffin, 2017, paperback, $8.99)

AGES 8 to 12 Wishing Day By Lauren Myracle (Kathering Tegen Books, 2017, paperback, $6.99)

YOUNG ADULT AGES 12 to 18 Alex & Eliza: A Love Story By Melissa de la Cruz (G.P. Putnam’s Sons, 2017, hardcover, $17.99)

AGES 12 to 18 The Geek’s Guide to Unrequited Love By Sarvenaz Tash (Simon & Schuster, 2017, paperback, $10.99)

AGES 12 to 18 Love and Gelato By Jenna Evans Welch (Simon Pulse, 2017, paperback, $10.99)

AGES 15 to 18 The Upside of Unrequited By Becky Albertalli (Balzer & Bray, 2017, hardcover, $17.99)

Roc Parent

January/February 2018

CURATED

CALENDAR A selection of things to see and do in January and February

PERFORMANCES E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial in Concert RPO / Kodak Hall at Eastman Theatre Friday & Saturday, Jan. 12 & 13 Filled with unparalleled magic and imagination, E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial™ follows the moving story of a lost little alien who befriends a 10-year-old boy named Elliott. Experience all the mystery and fun of their unforgettable adventure on the big screen, complete with John Williams’ Academy Award®-winning score performed live by the Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra! When: 7 p.m. Tickets: $24-$110 Where: 26 Gibbs Street, Rochester More info: rpo.org Fly Guy, the Musical TYKEs / JCC Hart Theatre Jan. 13-21 A fly for a pet? Flies are pests, not pets, right? Well, young Buzz and his new friend, Liz, know otherwise, and their adventures with their winged pets have the whole town, umm, buzzing! This rollicking musical will have you cheering for the bugs and delighting in their antics, as their caring friendships help them overcome all the challenges they face. Based on Fly Guy chapter books by Tedd Arnold. Tickets: $16, $15 JCC Members Where: 1200 Edgewood Ave., Rochester, More info: jccrochester.org Peter and the Wolf RPO OrKIDStra Series / Hochstein Performance Hall Sunday, Jan. 28 Bring your family to experience the magic of Prokofiev’s Peter and the Wolf with new choreography by the Nazareth College Dance Ensemble. The 34

January/February 2018

RPO performs the musical score live while the audience watches the classic film E.T. on the big screen at Kodak Hall at Eastman Theatre on Jan 12 & 13. PROVIDED PHOTO

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CURATED CALENDAR up, Sally’s aunt makes a gingerbread cookie, which promptly leaps out of the oven and takes her on a merry adventure to see traveling players perform in a nearby town. Along the way, the duo encounter a karatekicking donkey with a scrambled vocabulary, a fashionable skunk with a nose for rare fragrances, and a sly fox who tries to put the bite on the Gingerbread Man. “Run, run as fast as you can! You can’t catch me. I’m the Gingerbread Man!”

TYKES brings The Fly Guy books to life onstage at the JCC for two weekends, January 13-21. PROVIDED PHOTO

Tickets: $10-$20 Where: 200 West Ridge Rd., Rochester More info: rapatheatre.org/rapafamily-theatre classic musical tale tells the story of an adventurous boy who stands up to the dreaded Wolf with the help of some animal friends, represented by various instruments of the Rochester Philharmonic Orchestra! When: 2 p.m. Tickets: $14 kids, $19 adults Where: 50 N. Plymouth Ave.,Rochester

More info: rpo.org The Gingerbread Man RAPA / Kodak Center for Performing Arts Studio Theatre Feb. 3-11 Sally is very unhappy about staying on her aunt and uncle’s farm while her parents are on vacation. To cheer her

Missoula Children’s Theatre presents Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs TYKEs / JCC Hart Theatre Saturday, Feb. 10 Once again, TYKEs welcomes an incredible concept in children’s theatre — a full-scale musical starring 60 local See CALENDAR on page 36

Exhibit Opens Jan. 20! Local media support from © 2017 Gullane (Thomas) Limited Thomas & Friends™: Explore the Rails! was created by Minnesota Children’s Museum, presented by Fisher-Price and sponsored by 3M.

Facebook “f ” Logo

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CMYK / .ai

Facebook “f ” Logo

CMYK / .ai

museumofplay.org

January/February 2018

CURATED CALENDAR CALENDAR, from page 35

INDOOR FUN

kids - all created within a week.

Strong National Museum of Play Where: 1 Manhattan Square, Rochester More info: museumofplay.org

When: 1 & 3:30 p.m. Tickets: $12 Where: 1200 Edgewood Ave., Rochester More info: jccrochester.org

Beyond the Sea Jan. 6 & 7 Dive in for a fun-filled weekend. Join the Happy Pirates for interactive performances. Meet Tory the mermaid, dig for buried treasure at the Kinetic Sand indoor beach, create a Heart of the Sea necklace, and more.

Go, Dog. Go! Nazareth College Arts Center & Childsplay/Callahan Theater Sunday, Feb. 18 Go, Dog. Go! brings the adventures of P.D. Eastman’s best-selling book to life in a frolicking, musical dog party. The cast of this beloved preschool favorite has gone to the dogs — with cars, hats, audience participation, and even a wild game of ball — in a musical romp that is full of surprises, color, clowning, vaudeville, singing/ barking, and, of course, six lovable dogs! Presented by Childsplay, one of the country’s top professional theatre companies for young

audiences, Go, Dog. Go! is a hilarious, visual spectacle that manages to sneak in some important life lessons. Suggested for: Children ages 2+ and their families; 60 minutes with no intermission. When: 2 p.m., with sensory-friendly performance at 4 p.m. Tickets: $15 - $20 Where: 4245 East Avenue, Rochester More info: naz.edu/arts-center

Thomas & Friends: Explore the Rails Exhibit Opening Jan. 20 & 21 Help Thomas, Percy, and the rest of the residents of Sodor solve challenges and explore creative problem solving. Explore the inner workings of a train, figure out the arrival times of the trains with Sir Topham Hat, fix Percy’s wobbly wheels, learn about the physics involved with operating a train, and more. Opening weekend only, meet the

It’s party time! P L A N • C R E AT E • C E L E B R AT E Our event team will work to bring your vision of the perfect Birthday party, Bar or Bat Mitzvah to life.

THE MUSICAL

The JCC has a team of experienced event coordinators that will ensure your child & guests have an unforgettable experience.

Saturday, January 13, 11am + 2pm Sunday, January 14, 2pm Saturday, January 20, 11am + 2pm Sunday, January 21, 2pm + 4:30pm By Austin Zumbro Adapted from FLY GUY by Tedd Arnold

Purchase tickets online at TykesTheatre.org or call 461-2000 Originally Commissioned by Oregon Children's Theatre, Inc., Stan Foote, Artistic Director, and Bay Area Children's Theatre. Nina Meehan, Artistic Director.

™

BOOK YouR DATE TODAY! 461-2000 | JCCROCHESTER.ORG

January/February 2018

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& © Scholastic Inc. SCHOLASTIC, Fly Guy and associated logos are trademarks and/or registered marks of Scholastic Inc.

CURATED CALENDAR

The Strong and the YMCA team up for a Healthy Kids Day on Saturday, Feb. 3. Enjoy a day of fitness fun at the museum! PROVIDED PHOTO

railway director and create a paper engineer or popsicle stick puppets of Thomas and his friends. Healthy Kids Day Presented by The Strong and the YMCA of Greater Rochester Saturday, Feb. 3 Run, hop, or slide into the museum for a day filled with fitness fun. YMCA members save $3 with valid membership ID. Royal Ball Feb. 10 & 11 Dress in your most regal attire and meet Her Majesty, the Queen of Play. Be whisked away for a day full of dancing and lively music in the royal court. Enjoy a “feast” at the royal banquet table, visit the Fairy Godmother to receive a special bejeweled gift, and more. Storytime Club (Sponsored by Roc Parent Magazine) Mondays at 10:30 and 11:30 a.m. Readings of classic children’s tales. Have your Storytime Club passport punched once during each visit. Collect See CALENDAR on page 38

Music with Ms. Gini Make music lessons part of your winter activities! Have fun in private lessons 30 - 45 - 60 minute sessions All Levels. All Styles. All Ages.

 Call 585-427-2408 to schedule  Allegro Music Studio, E. Irondequoit Piano Keyboard Ukulele Melodica Roc Parent

January/February 2018

CALENDAR The Strong’s Royal Ball on Saturday and Sunday, Feb 10-11, incudes dancing and music in the royal court, and meeting Her Majesty, The Queen of Play.

CALENDAR, from page 37 five punches and receive a free children’s book! January Theme: Fitness Fun — Muscle in for tales about eating healthy and getting active. February Theme: Build It — Muscle in for tales about eating healthy and getting active.

NEW KIDS SCHEDULE WXXI TV21.1 | CABLE 11

PROVIDED PHOTO

Seneca Park Zoo Where: 2222 St. Paul St., Rochester More info: senecaparkzoo.org Weekdays 6:00am Wild Kratts 6:30am Arthur 7:00am Ready Jet Go! 7:30am The Cat in the Hat 8:00am Clifford the Big Red Dog 8:30am Curious George 9:00am Curious George* 9:30am Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood 10:00am Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood 10:30am Splash & Bubbles 11:00am Sesame Street 11:30am Super WHY! 12:00pm Dinosaur Train 12:30pm Peg + Cat 1:00pm Sesame Street 1:30pm Splash & Bubbles 2:00pm Curious George 2:30pm Nature Cat* 3:00pm Nature Cat 3:30pm Wild Kratts 4:00pm Wild Kratts 4:30pm Homework Hotline

* Pinkalicious starts Feb.19

Follow the adventures of Pinkalicious and her brother Peter! Pinkalicious is an artist at heart — and imagines creative possibilities everywhere she looks!

Begins February 19!

January/February 2018

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Saturday 6:00am 6:30am 7:00am 7:30am 8:00am 8:30am 9:00am

Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood Dinosaur Train Bob the Builder Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood* Splash & Bubbles Curious George

Sunday 6:00am 6:30am 7:00am 7:30am 8:00am 8:30am 9:00am 9:30am 10:00am 10:30am

Sid the Science Kid Dinosaur Train Sesame Street Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood* Splash & Bubbles Curious George Nature Cat Ready Jet Go! Wild Kratts

FOR 24-HOUR KIDS SHOWS WXXI TV21.4 CABLE 1277

Book & Beast Wednesdays at 11 a.m. Bring your little ones to the Zoo for a cuddly story and special animal visitor every Wednesday through March. This program is FREE with Zoo admission. Family Sleepover at the Zoo Saturday, Jan. 13 Have you ever wondered what Seneca Park Zoo is like at night? Join us for one of our family sleepovers at the Zoo to find out! Through a guided tour, families will explore the Zoo at night, learning about everything the animals in our care need to survive and looking for them in their habitats. Families will also get to meet some education animals up close and make a shelter-related craft. And don’t forget to pack a sleeping bag! You’ll be sleeping inside Rocky Coasts Gallery near the polar bear and sea lions. A pizza dinner, snack, and continental breakfast will be provided. For children ages 5-10 and their adult. Tickets: Members: $60 per adult & child pair, $30 per additional person; Non-members: $70 per adult & child pair, $35 per additional person. A portion of every ticket purchased is contributed to Seneca Park Zoo Society’s conservation efforts. Rochester Museum and Science Center Where: 657 East Avenue, Rochester More info: RMSC.org

CURATED CALENDAR

Get in the Game!

CHILD DEVELOPMENT SPORTS PROGRAMS Starting at age 2 Sessions offered year-round

GATES

880 ELMGROVE RD. ROCHESTER, NY 14624 585.458.4263

BIRTHDAY PARTIES!

Indoor turf fields, basketball court, multiple sports options, playground games, private party rooms, bounce house options

EAST ROCHESTER

435 W. COMMERCIAL ST. EAST ROCHESTER, NY 14465 585.203.0367

www.totalsports-experience.com At Seneca Park Zoo’s sleepover on Jan. 13, you may awake to see this pretty, snowy face looking back at you through the glass of Rocky Coast Gallery. PROVIDED PHOTO

Science Olympics Jan. 13 – 15: 11 a.m. – 3 p.m. Did you know that hockey, skiing and skating all rely on physics, math, biology and chemistry? Celebrate the upcoming winter games by competing in science challenges.

Make their next birthday PETACULAR!

Dolphins Now playing From the dazzling coral reefs of the Bahamas to the windswept seas of Patagonia, go under the water’s surface for a romp with inquisitive and acrobatic dolphins in this giant screen film at the Strasenburgh Planetarium. Fact or Fiction in Space Opens Jan. 13 Were the moon landings faked? Is there a face on Mars? What are the strange lights in that phone video on YouTube? Modern astronomy and space flight have brought us new ideas and images that are almost unbelievable, from ocean moons to black holes. Take a critical look at some of today’s most popular memes, and think about how to decide whom and what to trust. For older children and adults. Frankenstein 200 Feb. 3 – 4 p.m.: 11 a.m. – 3 p.m. Come celebrate Frankenstein’s 200th anniversary with the RMSC and explore what was once science fiction, but is now emerging as real technology.

Petacular Parties Include: • Decorated private party poom • Behind-the-scenes shelter tour • A pawesome activity • Favor bags for party guests • Goodies for the birthday guest

Book today! lollypop.org/birthday

99 Victor Road, Fairport, NY 14450 • (585) 223-1330 • info@lollypop.org

Roc Parent

January/February 2018

EE FR JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2018

YUNJIN KIM HAS TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE

Staging the new Eddie Money musical here in the Roc

GIRLFRIEND GETAWAYS in the Finger Lakes

INSIDE:

• Yelp’s map for chocoholics • Clean house = clear mind • Navigating party food

Here’s to packs great and small. Whip down water slides, play our MagiQuest® adventure game, feel the joy at Scooops® Kid Spa, and open your imagination at Story Time before bed. All at Canada’s premier indoor water park resort. Come see how it’s perfect for everyone in your pack.

greatwolf.com/niagara

STAY 2 NIGHTS AND SAVE 25%! Valid: January 7 − December 21, 2018 Book by: December 20, 2018 Promotion Code: ROCFUN

WRITERS IN THIS ISSUE BREANNA BANFORD is the Yelp Rochester community director. She brings the online community offline, connecting people to great local businesses through collaborative events and marketing partnerships. As a Rochester native, Breanna lives, breathes, and eats for this city. When she’s not hosting events for the Yelp community, you’ll almost always find her with rosé in one hand and french fries in the other. MEAMI CRAIG, PH.D, holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology and human development from Harvard University and a doctorate in psychology. A long-time media personality, she gave advice for 20 years on WARM 101.3 and was a popular columnist and blogger with weekly newspapers and The Democrat and Chronicle, focusing on relationships and family. You may ask Meami questions for her She Rocs column at (585) 432-1010 or changeyourlifeservices.com. ELIZABETH CRONY is a woman of action, whether executing a marketing plan or mastering the de-cluttering and cleaning of a house. With a degree and background in fashion and merchandising, she is a founding member of Femfessionals Rochester and COO of Big Thinkers LLC, as well as the former president of Blacktie Colorado. She is a happily married mom of two young girls.

DANTE WORTH is a success mentor and author based in Rochester who released his book Free to Be Me in 2014. He holds a bachelor’s degree in PR and communications from SUNY Brockport. In the community he has organized and hosted motivational seminars, the Black Authors Expo, and three installments of ROC Mastery Writing Seminars. Each spring he hosts the Audacious Believer’s Ultimate Women’s Conference, where he brings together women and men to enable, empower, and inspire them to live life with a victorious freedom.

4 8 10 13

Two Tickets to Paradise Yunjin Audrey Kim takes on Eddie Money original musical Girlfriend Getaways Three Finger Lakes destinations Stringing it together Bead Breakout and Stefan Otter team up

Andrea Taylor, left, with Mariela Vidrascu in front of their Monroe Avenue location. RENEE VENISKEY

Plan vs. punt eating your way through a party Kick off healthy-eating habits at this year’s big game

ALSO INSIDE

OLIVIA TEMPLETON is a senior at Honeoye Falls-Lima High School and founder of the blog livehealthywithliv. wordpress.com. She is an avid runner and cross-country skier who enjoys cooking and creating recipes. She plans to study nutritional science in college.

FEATURES

SUE HENNINGER is a freelance writer, a regular contributor to family magazines, and the coauthor of The Ultimate Guide to College Transfer: From Surviving to Thriving. Contact or connect with her at SueHenninger.com.

CONTENTS

JANUARY/FEBRUARY 2018

YUNJIN KIM HAS TWO TICKETS TO PARADISE

6 The Organized Clutterbug Tackling those resolutions

Staging the new Eddie Money musical here in the Roc

GIRLFRIEND GETAWAYS

7 Help from Yelp A Rochester roadmap for chocoholics 11 The Audacious Believer A new year and new goals 12 Ask Dr. Meami A clean house = a clear mind

in the Finger Lakes

INSIDE:

• Yelp’s map for chocoholics • Clean house = clear mind • Navigating party food

SR18.indd 1

ON THE COVER

12/18/17 10:49 PM

Rochester-based musician Yunjin Audrey Kim has been entrusted with the original score of Eddie Money’s autobiographical musical, Two Tickets to Paradise. The world premiere is at Kodak Center Feb. 14-18. Story on page 4. PHOTO BY MIGUEL SAMPER

She Rocs

January/February 2018

Yunjin Audrey Kim has

Two Tickets to Paradise

Rocker Eddie Money entrusts Eastman-educated musician with his new stage musical By DRESDEN ENGLE

The music talent that walks among us in Rochester is immense, especially with an internationally ranked and beloved music school like Eastman School of Music. That was the lure to Rochester for Korean-born and Virginia-raised Yunjin Audrey Kim, who earned a master’s degree in vocal performance and literature from Eastman. Falling in love with Rochester she has stayed here, working every day as a

professional musician. “I am making my living doing music and I’m a little proud of myself,” Kim said, sheepishly smiling. “I’m a poor, starving musician just trying to live a fabulous life.”

SHE’S MONEY For her talents, she was tapped to be the music and vocal director for a world premiere musical being launched in Rochester in February — Two Tickets to Paradise: The Eddie Money Musical.

Yunjin Audrey Kim and her Steinway — and the gown in which she made her Carnegie Hall debut. PHOTO BY MIGUEL SAMPER

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The new musical is based on the life and music of Grammy-nominated rock star Eddie Money, who wrote the musical and also will star in every Rochester performance (Feb. 14-18) at Kodak Center. Also serving as the production’s music editor, she is helping with the new songs created for the show. She also is marrying Money’s big hits with the new songs, stringing them together for the production, including creating music for scene changes, as well as vamps, and underscoring.

“It’s like an open book,” Kim said. “It’s a musical and music has to happen all the time. Pieces of many of the songs will return throughout the score and I’ll be choosing the instruments. It’s very exciting!” At night she sketches it out, looking at the recurring themes and figuring out how to make Eddie Money’s music, which most often are solo songs, into ensemble numbers. “I feel so very honored,” Kim said. “Somehow he trusts this will happen. But he doesn’t need to worry about it. I’ll make it work!” Two Tickets to Paradise is being produced by Rochester Association for Performing Arts (RAPA), a performing and educational theater organization, for which she serves as the chair of the Music Department.

WE ARE THE MUSIC MAKERS … Kim’s full-time work in music also involves private voice and piano lessons in her Corn Hill studio, accompanying choruses for Pittsford Central School District, and serving as music director of First United Methodist Church in Geneva. Of her Eastman class of 2012, when asked how many of her classmates are working full-time as musicians, she estimates about 20 percent. “Some are singing in professional operas, yes, but they all have daytime jobs not in the music field,” Kim said. “It is fabulous I work in a field where I get to create. “A lot of the music is provided, but it’s my job to make it come alive and to bring the music out of people, although sometimes not always the same as the composer’s intention,” she said, laughing heartily Her students and casts thank her pushing them to reach their potential in delivering a song. The recent cast of The Hunchback of Notre Dame called her a “beautiful nightmare,” when thanking her for pushing their voices. As a trained singer, she’s often asked by those she is vocal coaching why she is not singing center stage these days. “I tell them because I like waving my arms better and let you do all the work,” she said, laughing again. “I love singing and yet hate singing,” Kim said. “It’s a lifestyle, you have to stay healthy all the time and you have to exude extreme confidence.” CONDUCTING HERSELF PROFESSIONALLY While working as an accompanist, she was able to watch the directors and conductors

Working on arrangements for the Eddie Money musical in her home studio. PHOTO BY MIGUEL SAMPER

at work, and she said that helped shape her into the musician she is today. Watching Kim energetically and happily conduct an orchestra is often as exciting than what is on stage. “It’s a lot of fun,” she said. “The best thing I hear from my pit members is I was really fun to work with and they really loved playing with me. That is the best thing.” When asked about her life beyond music, she smirked and replied, “I don’t have one.” In truth, she spends downtime with her many theater and music friends. Her parents reside in Virginia and her brother, a professional model and actor, lives in Korea. Kim came to the United States at age 15. She has recorded songs in Korean that are popular on iTunes. She has been playing piano since the age of five and her soprano voice has filled Carnegie Hall, as well as many other prestigious houses. In 2013, the same year she made her Carnegie Hall debut, Kim was featured on the album “A Thousand Burnt Offerings,” which was released in South Korea, and sang again on an album for the series in 2016. Kim has deep connections in Korea through her music and she has performed there. And while she may someday follow an opportunity or adventure beyond Rochester, this city still remains her home. “Rochester is an amazing city, especially for musicians,” Kim said. “Yes, maybe you’re a small fish in a big pond, but it’s a big pond, with a lot of opportunity. Somehow I constantly get jobs coming at me, and I feel very, very grateful.” She Rocs

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Alec Nevin portrays young Eddie Money PHOTO BY MARTY NOTT

Two Tickets to Paradise: The Eddie Money Musical Rochester hosts the world premiere of this new musical! How did a police officer trainee become the legendary rocker of global stardom in the 1970s? Two Tickets to Paradise: The Eddie Money Musical chronicles his wild ride through several decades. Discover the secrets of his story with Eddie Money classics like “Baby Hold On,” “I Wanna Go Back,” and “Take Me Home Tonight,” blended with new stage songs. Eddie “the Money Man” himself appears in all performances! Where: Kodak Center, 200 West Ridge Road, Rochester When: Feb. 14-18, 2018 Tickets: $39.50 to $59.50 More info: rapatheatre.org

May old resolutions not be forgot ... Making your home safer and you more energized Happy New Year! The clock strikes midnight. Everyone hugs and sings Auld Lang Syne. Next up, we state our resolutions — those decisions to do or not to do something — as the calendar flips to a new list of possibilities, projects, and adventures that empower (or overwhelms) us. Though it’s easy to rattle off a long list of intents, the reality sets in as January creeps along. Classics like losing weight, quitting something, spending more time with family, saving money, and so on, are good goals to have. But how about embracing the new year by jotting down both practical and fun thoughts (a happier word than “resolutions”) and make a plan and prioritize. Some actions will be immediate and others will evolve over the coming months. Here’s one action to add that is on the practical side and a true priority — creating a Safe Home checklist.

Here are some suggestions for a safer home: Detect it: Radon and carbon monoxide are colorless, odorless gases, which gone undetected can cause severe health risks. Radon kits start at $20 and carbon monoxide at $40, and both can be found in hardware stores. These small investments are important safeguards for your family. Clean it: Lint may seem innocent, but it’s highly combustible, and many neglect to clean the vents and ducts behind the dryer. Pull the dryer out, attach the vacuum hose, and suck it out. Check the 6

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outside vent as well. Vent it: Make sure your house can breathe. Bathrooms and attics that aren’t vented to the outside (or the vents are covered over with shingles) make you a prime candidate for mold. Monthly cleanings with bleach also help to control and sanitize. Plant it: Add plants to rooms (in sunappropriate areas). They bring in new energy and help clean the air. While being safe in the home you can also do some small things that may decrease your bills and carbon footprint — worth the effort and is less dramatic than installing solar panels and buying a hybrid car. • Switch off the lights when you leave a room. We are all culprits and can’t just blame it on the kids and pets. Also, turn off your power strips and/or set your home computer to revert to sleep mode when not in use. • Install compact fluorescent bulbs and low-flow showerheads. • Wait for the dishwasher or washing

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machine to be full before you run them. • Give composting a try. Come spring, your garden will thank you.

And now that the house is both safe and energy-efficient, tackle the clutter:

• Take the time to carefully put away seasonal decorations. • Recycle all the holiday advertisements and magazines. • Stash useful (but not beautiful) items such as DVDs, remotes, and those kicked-off shoes in attractive woven baskets. • Fill your home with the things that raise your personal energy level and make you feel good, and get rid of the things that drain your energy or are broken. Now good luck embracing those resolutions, perhaps thinking about them as the old acquaintances you sang about not forgetting.

The candyman can, ’cause he mixes it with love

… in time for Valentine’s Day A CHOCOHOLIC’S GUIDE TO THE ROC Whether you’re celebrating Valentine’s — or Galentine’s — Day, or just looking for a sweet treat, we are playing Cupid and sending you on a hunt for the best chocolate around the Rochester area. She Rocs magazine thanks Breanna Banford, Yelp Rochester’s community director, for curating this list of coveted confections.

Hedonist Artisan Chocolates

Original Candy Kitchen

674 South Ave., Rochester (585) 461-2815 hedonistchocolates.com

4069 Main St., Williamson (315) 589-9085 originalcandykitchen.com

“You can grab a box of chocolate in various different sizes and can mix and match from what they have available that day as well. If you’re feeling adventurous, they have seasonal features ranging from caramel to spicy chocolates.“

“Whether it’s handcrafted candies, or just a bag of chocolate clumps, make sure you buy some chocolate on the way out!”

– Brent A.

623 Park Ave., Rochester (585) 473-2098 | steverscandy.com

Encore Chocolates 147 Pattonwood Dr., Rochester (585) 266-2970 | encorechocolates.com “The truffles are outstanding. They have chocolate-dipped strawberries occasionally (Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, etc.), but they sell out quickly. They also have chocolates with handwritten messages. This is one of my go-to spots to find a teacher-appreciation gift.” — Gretchen S.

Roc City Chocolates Find them at Affaire de Chocolat 303 Macedon Center Road, Fairport (also in Fairport at Red Bird Market and in Henrietta at Union Place Coffee Roasters and Niblack Foods) roccitychocolates.com

— Joe A.

Stever’s Chocolates “Valentine’s Day Ready” at Stever’s Chocolates. YELP PHOTO BY BREANNA B.

Cocoa Bean Shoppe 39 S. Main St., Pittsford (585) 381-1620 | cocoabeanshoppe.com “Nadia, the owner, is very sweet, knowledgeable, and talkative. She has an array of very select dark chocolates from around the world, as well as in-house chocolate. We plan to sign up for the truffle-making class, and may look into the chocolate tasting class as well.” — Anna S.

Laughing Gull Chocolates Find them at Hart’s Local Grocers and Brighton Farmers’ Market (storefront coming soon) laughinggullchocolates.com

“Truffles, multiple barks, bars, drinking chocolate, edible bowls, and more. Also sampled a cheddar bacon bark and it was surprisingly awesome — the cheddar really came through!”

“Locally sourced when available, fair trade, organic chocolate. The salted caramel truffles are to die for!”

— Laine D.

— Jean F.

“One of my personal favorites is the dark-chocolate covered Oreos. They are always a treat! I’d also recommend the dark-chocolate covered espresso beans. Mmm! The truffles are delicious as well and make a nice gift.” — Emily H.

Oliver’s Candies 211 W. Main St., Batavia (585) 343-5888 oliverscandies.com “Like chocolate? Milk chocolate, dark chocolate, orange chocolate, peanut butter chocolate. Their cayenne peanut brittle — salty, sweet, and succulent heat! Addicting!” — Tom M.

help from

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January/February 2018

Girlfriend getaways galore in the Finger Lakes this winter By SUE HENNINGER

Kids aren’t the only ones who get cabin fever. As the mother of three active boys, girlfriend getaways are not a luxury for me — they are a necessity. The ideal escape has three key components: not having to cook or clean, a good night’s sleep, and doing something that gives you the time and space to rediscover yourself. Luckily, the Finger Lakes region has fantastic getaway options. Here are three fabulous ones:

del Lago Resort & Casino — Waterloo —

dellagoresort.com Not far from Rochester, del Lago is a unique fusion of European (Italian) and local Finger Lakes ambience. The overall effect is that of unpretentious opulence. The attention to detail is amazing. Highlights include a complex system of scents that’s piped into every sector of the building, each one specifically chosen to amplify the visitor experience. And the friendly employees appear to really enjoy working there. If you’re the trend-setter in your group, it’s time to check out this getaway spot right in your own backyard! Spa del Lago has a wide variety of spa and salon services to choose from. The cedar sauna is soothing, the steam room aromatic, and the sanctuaries truly peaceful. Multiple treatment rooms are pristine and inviting, and the Sociale Café & Bar delivers whatever “gastro spa” treats you might desire. After a day of rejuvenating and pampering at Spa del Lago, visit the rest of the resort for a fun evening. Begin with dinner at the sophisticated Portico, where Chef Fabio Viviani prepares Old World Italian-inspired dishes from seasonal ingredients. The more casual Farmers Market Buffet, a winning combination of healthy food 8

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station options is also a tasty option. If you’re in for some late-night girlfriend fun, the casino has plenty of opportunities for individual (slot machines) or group (poker, blackjack) gaming. Or take in a comedy or music show at The Vine, del Lago’s stateof-the art entertainment center, bar, and restaurant. No matter how you all choose to spend your evening, make a point of staying up past your usual bedtime. After all you can sleep in (uninterrupted!) the next morning.

La Tourelle Hotel, Bistro & Spa — Ithaca —

latourelle.com This classic, yet contemporary, country inn has been family-owned since the 1960s. When you enter the lobby, with its brightly glowing fireplace and walls overflowing with photos of the many famous guests who have stayed there over the years, you’ll feel a warm, welcoming vibe. Get the girlfriends together and agree on a 2018 date to reserve the threestory Yellow Barn Suite, which sleeps six comfortably and has two and a half baths, a gas fireplace, and a small kitchenette. Enhancing the “slumber party atmosphere,” there’s a largescreen television allowing friends to group-watch movies. (If the Yellow Barn isn’t available, try the three

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adjacent king bedrooms instead.) Be sure to schedule a relaxing afternoon at August Moon Spa, where it’ll be all about you. I recommend the winter treatments — Buttermilk Falls Sugar Scrub or the Oxygen Facial; both are great for soothing dry, cold-weather skin. Afterward there’s a sauna, a steam room, and two luxurious tranquility rooms, one with a waterfall and one with a fireplace, to relax in. A nightly complimentary Finger Lakes wine tasting gives the hosts, guests, and perhaps a friendly dog or two, a chance to mingle and socialize before heading separate ways for dinner. You might be in the mood for a typical steakhouse menu at John Thomas Steakhouse located on the hotel property, but if you’d rather try the local cuisine in town, it’s a short drive down the hill to “Restaurant Row” on Aurora Street. Downtown Ithaca has a vibrant nightlife with plenty of bars, theaters, and music venues. And if the group wants to explore the speciality of the Finger Lakes region — the wineries — ask the Wiggins family about their partnership with “Experience! The Finger Lakes,” a full-service touring company that picks up and drops off guests who want to explore local wineries — no designated driver necessary. If you’re visiting in the dead of winter, ask the guides to show you the Ithaca-area waterfalls and gorges. They are spectacular in the ice and snow — so grab your cameras for your unique girlfriend photo ops.

Hope Lake Lodge

(pot pies) and a few surprises, like the Pear Bacon Brie Burger or dishes featuring local game. — Cortland — The grill also has breakfast, hopelakelodge.com lunch, and late-night dining options. Afterwards, enjoy Across the road from Greek the outdoor pool, heated to a Peak Mountain Resort, Hope cozy 85 degrees year round, Lake Lodge is anything but a and hot tub under a starry typical ski lodge. A five-time winter sky. These three locations would winner of TripAdvisor’s The next day head over to also make fabulous romantic getaways! “Certificate of Excellence,” the Greek Peak’s Outdoor Adventure Valentine’s Day is just around Lodge overlooks scenic Hope Lake the corner so check out their Center. Sign up for a Zip Line Tour on and the Virgil Valley. websites for special one of the four dual zip lines or take a Described as “Rustic-chic,” this lodge packages and Nor’Easter Mountain Coaster ride (you is perfect for friends to get in touch with deals. control the speed!) surrounded by snowtheir feminine side, rekindle old bonds, covered terrain. Renting tubes, skis, or and make some new memories. kicksleds are other fun outdoor options. Start your getaway by escaping from If you’d rather watch active people the stresses of everyday life at the serene, than be one, Trax is Greek Peak’s lively, full-service Waterfalls Spa. The pedicure trendy restaurant/pub. Everyone there, room features three luxurious seats facing from the drinkers and diners to the a panoramic view of the countryside. wait staff is high-spirited. groups to help customize and Treatment rooms, many with personal After the hustle of the holidays takes maximize their day at the spa. saunas and showers, are gorgeous. its toll, you and the girlfriends will be Once you’ve been pampered at Spa services include various types of ready to treat yourself to one of these Waterfalls, catch up on your busy lives massage and facials or, for something rejuvenating experiences. in the Bobcat Lounge over a specialty different, try the “Beer Hops Sugar I’m planning my own 2018 winter cocktail or a local beer. Follow drinks Scrub” or a seasonal special. Suites and girlfriend getaway … hope to see you with dinner at the Acorn Grill, with a private consultations are available for there! menu comprised of American classics

Also … great spots for romantic getaways

From spa treatments to late-night girlfriend fun, del Lago Resort & Casino awaits, just down the Thruway in Waterloo. PROVIDED PHOTO

SheRocs Rocs She

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From DIY beading ...................... to elegant ...................... handmade jewelry The ladies of Bead Breakout and Stefan Otter make shopping an experience By DEBRA A. JACOBSON

Beading has become a favorite DIY project, as homemade beaded jewelry gifts are personalized and one-of-a-kind keepsakes. At Bead Breakout/Stefan Otter in Brighton, at 2314 Monroe Ave., just east of Twelve Corners, the customer can be as much a part of the design as she desires. Entrepreneurs Andrea Taylor (Bead Breakout) and Mariela Vidrascu (Stefan Otter Fine Jewelers) have aligned to become a one-stop place for jewelry shopping and an in-person experience worth the trip away from online ordering. The colorful store combines beading and basic wirework with fine jewelry, gemstones, soldering, drilling, and repairs — from simple to sophisticated. Professionally designed pre-made jewelry items are also on display. Taylor and Vidrascu are on hand to assist you in purchasing components, advising on selections for you to create your jewelry at home, or sharing a DIY lesson. They even can find you, if needed, a metal piece soldered or a shell drilled. The two jewelry stores have come together under one roof in the 1920s house that has been home to Bead Breakout since 2005. The setting features a fireplace, oriental rugs, and an uplifting ambience. It has been described as having a therapeutic and calming effect, laced with an element of excitement. “Our philosophy is to meet the customers’ needs, be helpful, and make it an enjoyable experience,” Taylor said. “We enjoy working alongside the customer, discussing design ideas, personal experiences they may want to represent in the creation of something sentimental, or just a fun, beautiful item they feel they’ve had a part in designing.” Taylor built on a philosophy of tapping into what comforts people, stemming from her work as a research assistant for Dr. Wende Logan-Young of Elizabeth Wende Breast Care. Taylor had the idea of selling beaded jewelry at the clinic, and also making massages available to enhance the comfort-

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Images of some of Taylor and Vidrascu’s jewelry and beading supplies. PHOTOS BY RENEE VENISKEY

Andrea Taylor, left, with Mariela Vidrascu in front of their Monroe Avenue location.

ing environment for those waiting for a mammogram or test results. She continues her vision in her store, instilling warm welcoming feelings and personal attention. Vidrascu, and her husband, Stefan, searched for the right partner to join forces toward a similar vision. “We looked at health spas, clothing stores, and many other businesses as prospective partners,” Vidrascu said. “When we met Andrea, we knew right away that her personality and the atmosphere of her store was perfect. We had found our partner.” Stefan Otter Jewelers specializes in designing and creating precious and semiprecious pieces with fine gold and silver. Their design guidance assists customers in repurposing treasured jewelry, such as a family heirloom or a gift from someone who has passed. The finished piece will be one in which the customer played integral part of designing. Enhancing the daily retail offerings, the two stores can host bridal parties, where the participants design their own accessories, and also “Beading on the Road,” which travels to wineries, country clubs, and recreation centers. Learn more at beadbreakout.com or stefanotter.com.

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Valentine’s Day gift ideas … here’s what’s trending

From simple stretch bracelets to precious gem jewelry, Bead Breakout and Stefan Otter offer gift solutions. Following popular trends may be helpful in sparking your creative spirit. Here are several that are popular in New York, London, and Paris (Vogue): Upcycling everyday objects is popular. Party-girl earrings are in — the glam and glitz goes with everything. Cuffs and over-the-sleeve bracelets are fun. Strings of pearls — of all colors, extra-large to minutely small can be worn with jeans or formal attire — and layering is a must! Layering necklaces and bracelets with charms and interesting dangles are trendy and fun to collect. Long, graphic hoops or ear cuffs: and only one is great, too. Chokers with silver-dipped chains are dramatic. Raw, and radically different stones are an attractive juxtaposed treasure. Cords, silk threads, and fabric mixed with beads and stones look great.

Ready to live audaciously? It’s time to tame your fears and start living your happiest year yet An “audacious believer” is someone who pursues goals and aspirations no matter what — and realizes we are just one extraordinary decision from transforming our lives every single day. Just because you’ve had a few bad chapters, it doesn’t mean your story can’t end well. Don’t lose faith in yourself. There is still hope (even when we hit bumps along the way … like setting a fitness goal and being overtaken by the temptation of nachos at the movie theater). As we transition into a new year full of possibility, uncertainty, and decisions, we have an incredible opportunity to remake our lives from the inside out. This is a chance to start at step one, day one, and make the next chapter of our lives as incredible as we desire it to be. I’ve learned that you can’t be who you used to be and who you’re going to be at the same time. It’s time to tame your fears and start living your happiest year yet. Here are three success secrets that I shared at the 2017 Audacious Believer’s Ultimate Women’s Conference that can help you transform your life and manifest your dreams.

Reframe

Don’t compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 20. Keep your eyes on your own paper and stay focused on accomplishing micro goals that will lead to macro wins in your life and business. Quit beating yourself up, you are not a final project but an amazing work in progress. Create a trigger for yourself to help you reframe your mind when you’re

Sometimes the hardest person to forgive is the one you see in the mirror everyday. It’s time to stop replaying regrets and find the strength to start over. We can not erase the past but we can accept it as history. We can choose to live today free from the failures of yesterday. Everyday is a new beginning. Take a deep breath and start again.

The odds of hitting a target go up dramatically when you aim at it. feeling low. When negative thoughts come, press on the inside of your hand and shut that negative voice down and speak positivity to yourself. I use affirmations to encourage myself every day, and you should, too. Remind yourself daily that you are valuable to your family, your employer, and most importantly to yourself.

Refresh

Before we can obtain something new, we have to be willing to let go of something old. Transformation happens when you’re willing to let go of your old mindset, which is often worn down by failures, disappointments, and unmet expectations.

Reignite

Creating a life you truly love starts with figuring out what you truly want in life. The odds of hitting a target go up dramatically when you aim at it. Think about your life in terms of your image, health, career, home, finances, travel, love life, effectiveness, and attitude. Create a list of 100 goals concerning your life and purpose. Set a timer for two minutes to help you brain dump your deepest and truest desires first. Even if you don’t list all 100 in the allotted time, you’ll have a clearer idea of the direction you want your life to head in. One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is forgetting to put their thoughts and goals into action. Action is the prescription for success. Sometimes all we need to do is be surrounded by a group of others trying to do better. The 2018 Audacious Believer’s Ultimate Women’s Conference is April 28 in Rochester. Secure your seat now at DanteWorth.com/conference. (Use promo code “SHEROCS” for a special discount.) She Rocs

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KEEP CALM and CALL

Dr. Meami

Love yourself into losing weight First, clean up your house (vs. the fridge) DEAR DR. MEAMI: I just came from

a doctor’s appointment where I was told to lose 50 pounds fast or my health may suffer, even being at risk for a heart attack. But I don’t think I really can follow the diet my doctor gave me. Help! Signed, Beth from Brighton

DEAR BETH: It amazes me that in doctors’ offices across America, physicians still actually hand overweight woman a piece of paper with a diet printed on it, telling her to “start exercising,” and send her out the door to drop 10 pounds or more. That’s like handing a toddler some sheet music and sitting her down at the piano to play a concerto—ain’t gonna happen! And yet, many women reading this feel like a guilty failure because excess weight stays on, thinking it’s as simple as the old “calories in versus calories burned” routine. If that’s you, read on please, and let 2018 be the year you create an internal shift inside yourself that allows you to release your extra pounds of pain by loving yourself into losing the weight. There are all kinds of action steps you can take to be kind to yourself and take great care of yourself, but it goes very far beyond the trite advice women often get, like take a candlelit bubble bath or get a mani-pedi. Here is my radical new viewpoint: if you take total control of all the clutter in your life you can best take control of all the eating in your life. With my clients who need to lose weight, one of the first things we do is look carefully at organization in her home, workplace, car, e-mailbox, daily schedule, and even in her purse. Yes, a healthy, happy body and mind can be created by you and for you by cleaning out your purse on a daily basis to start 12

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Any sense of positive control we feel we have over our lives, statistically leads to a greater feeling of happiness. Why? It is a proven, scientific fact that clutter in your home and in your life causes women in particular to feel anxiety, which often causes stress overeating. A study done by UCLA’s Center on Everyday Lives and Families discovered women who live in messy, disorganized homes have higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol in their bodies. Cortisol not only prevents weight loss, but it’s even linked to more fat in the belly area. And get this: the study showed mess affects men’s cortisol levels, too, but at much lower levels. That’s why the man in your life can easily navigate his way through stacks of bills and over piles of dirty laundry and be unfazed by all the mess ... and you as a woman cannot. If the sleeve of Oreos tucked behind the

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healthy homemade kale chips begin calling you when you walk into your home that’s in disarray, you are not alone — but you are out of control in key areas of your life that are directly linked to being overweight. Committing to organized, intuitive eating on a unique plan you choose for yourself can give you a calming feeling of control over your entire life. Any sense of positive control we feel we have over our lives statistically leads to a greater feeling of happiness moment by moment, too. The bottom line is that you can love yourself into losing weight with practical action steps including organizing your life without being overwhelmed in the process. Or, you can look into the mirror right now, hate your current body shape so much you decide to punitively deprive yourself of food you enjoy to try to decrease the numbers on the scale. But thousands who lose that way inevitably gain it all back. This says it all: the December 2017 issue of Good Housekeeping had this on its cover: “Eat and Drink: DON’T GAIN WEIGHT!” That’s right, the great paradox is that women in America in 2018 are supposed to survive and thrive in our totally foodobsessed culture while remaining sleek, slim, and sexy no matter what. The “ideal” woman shows up to a party in a slinky dress with stylish stilettos, but doesn’t drink the champagne or pop down one too many sausage cheese balls in fear she’ll explode into being a size 12 (or 14, God forbid, as most American women actually are) … with a big L on your forehead for LAZY, right? WRONG! In this magazine, She Rocs, women are encouraged to claim themselves as they really are — as authentic human beings with smart minds eager to learn, souls full of savvy self love, hearts that hurt and heal, and a body we can relax about changing. Now that’s empowerment.

Kick off healthy-eating habits while watching the big game ful and easiest tips. By filling your plate with the good stuff first it ensures you are getting nutrients, and it leaves less room for junk. If you have a say in the arrangement of the food, place the salad and veggies first in the food line to encourage people to fill plates with the good stuff. It is proven that whatever foods you see first will occupy the most space on your plate, so do yourself a favor and put those healthy goodies first.

By OLIVIA TEMPLETON

As we surround ourselves with family and friends this winter, we tend to also surround ourselves with comfort food – especially at parties, including the ultimate big game food fiasco. In my Greek family, food does not disappoint. But the guilt can get the better of us. It’s not easy eating healthy, right? Well, through trial and error, I’ve come to realize you can win the food fight. Here’s a list of tips for eating healthier at parties:

Wait five minutes before Round Two

Eat a healthy snack before the party

Food doesn’t digest instantaneously. It takes the body time to start digestion and send the brain a message that it is actually full. By waiting that extra couple of minutes, the body will tell you if it needs more food or is satiated.

This will reduce the urge to grab those sneaky snacks before dinner is served. Choose a snack with protein and healthy fats to help hold you over. My favorite snack is an apple with peanut butter.

There will be more parties

Bring a healthy dish

Pretty self-explanatory. If you are asked to bring a dish, bring something nutritious that you (and others) will eat. This guarantees something healthy and delicious is available. Suggestions include a mixed green salad, fruit salad, caprese salad, tomato and chickpea salad, roasted veggies, quinoa tabbouleh, vegetable coleslaw, and mini stuffed peppers.

Do not hang out by the food

Easier said than done. At parties I find I munch even when I am not hungry, almost as a reflex. Just because it’s there, or other people are eating, doesn’t mean you need to snack to fit in. In a way, it’s a sort of unintentional peer pressure. Now, I am not discouraging eating, because like you, I love food, I am encouraging making conscious decisions and eating when the body is actually hungry.

Would I eat an apple?

Ask yourself this question when you are about to get a second snack/plate/dessert.

If the answer is, “No, I wouldn’t eat an apple now,” you’re probably not hungry, but just giving into cravings. I got this tip from blogilates.com and I love it! I ask myself this at home, too, when I can’t figure out if I am hungry or bored. (If apples aren’t your cup of tea, any produce works.)

Fill your plate first with salad veggies and fruit I find this to be one of the most help-

If you are debating getting another bite, even though you’re completely stuffed, remember there will be more parties, more food.

Set goals

Before you even get to the party, make a goal. For example, plan to eat just one cookie instead of the usual three. Make goals achievable because the point is to succeed.

Learn from your mistakes

If something sets you into a downward spiral at one party remember that and think of ways to prevent the same thing from happening again. Remember, moderation is the key, even if enjoying some cake or chips. And sure, healthy eating is tough when that delicious-looking and delicioussmelling pizza is taunting you, so take small steps and also create some healthy eating tips that work for you. She Rocs

January/February 2018