Spring '25 | Garden

GAR DEN

IMAGE CREDITS

FRONT COVER PAGE II

PAGE III PAGE IV

EDDY CHIAO

JOSHUA CHUNG

OLIVIA HU

EDDY CHIAO

MISSION STATEMENT

Agora seeks to glorify God as an ecumenical forum and journal of Christian thought. By creating and curating pieces that reflect the vibrant beauty of God’s nature, we offer a collective Christian perspective to the campus dialogue.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

We gratefully recognize the support and guidance from the Augustine Collective, a network of student-lead Christian thought journals on university campuses across the US and the UK.

EXECUTIVE BOARD

CATHERINE TIAN ’27

EDITOR IN CHIEF

OLIVIA HU ’26

EDITOR IN CHIEF & CREATIVE DIRECTOR

DAVID QU ’25

MANAGING EDITOR

ANSLEY CHENG ’27

OUTREACH COORDINATOR

CHRISTINA CAI ’27

SOCIAL MEDIA CHAIR

STAFF

CONTRIBUTORS

WRITERS

EDITORS

Alexander

Chelsea

Christina

Daniel

David

MEDIA

DESIGN

Daniel

Lorien

Matthew

Dear Reader,

Te seasons have turned again. It’s in the rush of spring’s coming, as nature swifly and brilliantly reveals its color, as classes accelerate toward a hectic close, and as the pollen haze settles around us, that we bring you this fourth issue of Agora. In whatever season you’re in, Reader, we’re so glad to share this journal with you today.

Over the past two years, we have seen Agora grow: what began as a mere seed — a ‘What if?’, a vision, and a leap of faith — is now a promising sprout. God’s hand has been tender and faithful, and this semester, we saw fruit in new writers, perspectives, and a powerful momentum that pushed this issue forward. We’re endlessly grateful to all who have supported this journal, from our current and alumni staf to Augustine Collective to our many donors. At the same time, we frmly believe that Agora is a living testament that it’s “only God who gives the growth” (1 Corinthians 3:6). As He has poured in, our staf and writers have grown and fourished, all so that His many blessings may be put on full display.

In preparation for this publication, our staf collectively chose the theme Garden, as beft the warming weather around us. Gardens at any scale, from towering forests to humble plots, provide a home to all sorts of plants and tiny creatures. Our individual faith walks refect a similar diversity, and yet we’re all united in one ecosystem, growing toward the same source.

We invite you in to enjoy the beauty and freshness of His garden as you spend time with these pages. Just as a garden is composed of many diferent fora and fauna, each writer embodies an individual story, voice, and refection of God’s work and beauty. We hope that this journal provides a space of physical and spiritual rest — take a break, give yourself time, maybe even take this booklet outside (touch grass!) as you wander through this garden with us. Afer all, spring is here! So pause to admire His beauty, and He will surely meet you, wherever your garden may be.

Bessings, Olivia and Catherine

guidance for a

seed

VERSE, ILLUSTRATION | LORIEN CHO

for the shell to sofen and split and reveal tender green growth

for the roots to brave rot and disease, led through earth and stone

even a tiny seed fnds courage in Your steadfast love.

it must know that Your hand shepherds it to sweet sunshine afer torrential rain it must hear that Your benevolence inspires the starlings’ song at joyous dawn it must see that Your patient love is carved into the thousand wooden rings of the nearby tree You watered.

towards rich soil and pure water to bracing air and ever-yawning sky like the seed I am pulled from the mire up from the depths of the earth

tearing away choking weeds, Your faithful hand brings me away from dry ground and into sunwarmed garden.

The Gardener’s Whisper

WORDS | TAYLOR MAERLENDER

I step into the garden, my bare feet sinking into the sof earth. Te scent of lilies and roses carried on the breeze, flling the air with a delicate beauty. I notice patches of wildfowers in one corner, swaying gently in the breeze, their colors vibrant with life. Yet, just beyond them, the ground is overgrown—thick with weeds that coil like serpents around the stems of wilting lilies.

A sigh escapes me. Why does it always seem like the weeds grow among the fowers, stealing their strength?

I kneel beside a strugling lily, its petals curled slightly inward, as if afraid to open.

“You’ll never bloom,” the weeds hiss, their thorny tendrils tightening around its stem. “You’re too weak.”

Te lily trembles.

I reach out, intending to pull the weeds away, but I hesitate, knowing their roots run deep, tangled beneath the surface.

He kneels beside me, His fngers brushing the earth. “Yes, but even the strongest weeds cannot withstand My hands.” He reaches down, efortlessly pulling the thorns from their roots, shaking the dirt free. “Some weeds must be removed in time. Others I leave for a season—to strengthen what is growing beside them. Uproot them too soon, and you risk disturbing the harvest that is yet to come.”

I watch as the lily, now freed, stretches toward the sunlight.

“Do you see?” He asks. “Even when the weeds crowd the lilies, even when their roots intertwine, I am tending to this garden.” His eyes meet mine. “I am tending to you.”

A breeze stirs the leaves, carrying the scent of the fowers once more. I close my eyes, breathing it in. Te weeds are not gone entirely — but the Gardener is here, with me, and that is enough.

As I rise to walk forward, I can feel the slight tug of the weeds around me, attempting to entangle me with their infuence. Teir pull is familiar, yet something within me has shifed. I glance back at the fowers, and I feel the gardener’s presence as His hands still tend the earth.

A warm presence moves beside me. I do not have to look up to know He is there.

“My child,” the Gardener proclaims, His whisper as gentle as the breeze. “Why do you fear? Tis garden does not grow by your hands alone.”

I bow my head. “But the weeds… they’re choking everything that was meant to grow and harming everything beautiful.”

Some weeds will remain and new ones will sprout. Te garden will need care, pruning, and patience—not just today, but always. Yet, I no longer carry the weight of fxing it alone, and my concern for the lilies has eased. Even in the chaos of growth, there is purpose. Even in the strugle and testing, there is beauty.

As I walk away, the breeze carries His whisper to me once more:

“So neither he who plants nor he who waters is anything, but only God who gives the growth.”

— 1 CORINTHIANS 3:7

BET WEE N T HE T WO GARDE N S

WORDS | MICHAEL PITTS

Living Life as an Exiled Sojourner1

As Christians, we live in the time between the two gardens. We are cast out of Eden for our rebellion against God, and though we live with the certain hope and guarantee of the blessings of the New Earth, its peace and comfort can seem so far away. In times of trial, we ofen fnd ourselves echoing the words of the Psalmist, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” 2 It can feel as though God has forgotten us, the world goes on without us, and we are lef all alone—destitute, aficted, and mistreated. 3

But God has by no means forgotten those whom he has chosen. Indeed, the Scriptures hold forth not only that God is with us in all of our suferings, but even that he sovereignly intends the hardships of our lives for good.4 And instead of leaving us to our own devices, the Lord has graciously given us descriptions and examples in his Word to help us know what will come upon us and how we ought to act under it. Christ in his humiliation and the church as sojourners and exiles are two examples that teach us how we ought to live while we await the fnal Sabbath rest for the people of God, 5 when all of our sorrow will fnally turn into joy. 6

Christ in His Humiliation

Although Jesus was both absolutely sinless7 and, as God, impeccable (unable to sin),8 he still endured many trials during his life on earth, even apart from the cross. He was born into abject poverty in the ancient world, and so lowly was his estate that he was laid in an animal feeding trough when he was born.9 Christ was moved even to tears by people’s sin,10 sufering,11 and death,12 and yet never failed to minister to them. Even Christ’s temptations were accompanied by sufering that ranged from the extreme to the extraordinary: he fasted for 40 days before being tempted by the devil,13 and such was his anguish in the Garden of Gethsemane that he sweat drops of blood as he prayed.14 If anyone has ever sufered in this world — and that, unjustly — it was Christ. Even without considering the cross, his sufering far surpassed what any man has had to endure.

But if Christ was both undeserving of judgement and without need of discipline, for what purpose did he sufer? First, Christ is the fulfllment of Old Testament Israel. Because Christ’s sacrifce is the only sacrifce that can take away sin,15 all of Old Testament worship, and especially

the nation of Israel as a whole, took on a symbolic and future-oriented form. You can see this especially in Paul’s teaching that the Old Testament events and rituals were, symbolically, Christ, when he says, “all ate the same spiritual food, and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they drank from the spiritual Rock that followed them, and the Rock was Christ.”16 Christ, hearkening back to the manna in the wilderness, even called himself the bread of life that had come down from heaven.17 Tus, although the Old Testament saints did not know Christ directly as we now do, they did know him and the salvation that he ofers through the symbolic events and rituals of the Old Testament.

Conversely, just as Israel symbolized the Christ yet to come, Christ in his life on earth fulflled not only the law of Israel perfectly, but even the afictions that Israel experienced. Just as Israel was frst a small nation in a lowly estate,18 Christ was born as the son of a carpenter and laid in a feeding trough. Just as Israel sojourned in Egypt,19 Mary and Joseph hid Christ from Herod in that same land.20 Just as Israel hungered and thirsted for 40 years in the wilderness, being tempted to deny God, Christ fasted for 40 days in the wilderness and was tempted by the devil himself; even the devil’s temptations mirrored the temptations of Israel.21 Most importantly, in his life and death, Christ fulflled all of the prophecy about Israel’s salvation.22 Tough Israel failed again and again to obey the law vlaw perfectly. Tough Israel fell and grumbled in the wilderness, Christ stood strong when tempted even by the devil. Tough Israel could not even pay for its own sins when captured and exiled, Christ, as God, sufered once on the cross and thus paid the price due for all of the sins of his people. Our Lord, in every way, fulflled in his own body every afiction of the people of Israel.

Not only did Jesus fulfll in himself the sufering of Israel, he also sufered in order that he would be an empathetic and compassionate High Priest for us. Tough he is impeccable because he is God, Christ did not rely upon his divinity to remain sinless, but was sanctifed exactly as we are, through sufering, as it is written,

and aware. Likewise, because Jesus was sanctifed through sufering, we can be confdent that his fatherly discipline will be never an ounce more severe than is necessary for our good, and we can draw near to him in faith, knowing that he has himself felt the depths of all of our misery, that he understands it, and that, in Christ, he will strengthen us to endure. Our Lord’s sufering during his life has become for us the source of our joy and confdence when we draw near to him in our sufering.

The Church as Sojourners and Exiles

As we are united to Christ in his resurrection, so also, while we await his return, are we united to him in his sufering and death. We are told, “do not be surprised at the fery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ’s suferings.”23 Our Lord himself told his disciples, “‘A

Hebrews 2:10-11, 4:15, 5:8-9 ESV

Because Christ sufered, we worship a God who is intimately and personally familiar with human sufering. We can be confdent when we draw near to God that he knows our pain; God is not distant and aloof, but near

1 An allusion to 1 Peter 2:11

2 Psalm 22:1 ESV

3 An allusion to Hebrews 11:37

4 Genesis 45:8, 50:20; cf. Romans 8:28

5 An allusion to Hebrews 4:9

6 An allusion to John 16:20

7 1 Peter 2:22

8 James 1:13

9 Luke 2:7

10 Mark 6:34, 10:21

11 Matthew 14:14, 20:34, Mark 1:41

12 Luke 7:13, John 11:33-38

13 Matthew 4:2

14 Luke 22:44; cf. Hebrews 12:4

15 Acts 4:12, Hebrews 10:1-4

16 1 Corinthians 10:3-4 ESV

17 John 6:31-58

18 Deuteronomy 7:7, 9:1-2

19 Exodus 12:40-41, Hosea 11:1

20 Matthew 2:13-15

21 Luke 4:1-13

22 Isaiah 42:1-9 and chs. 51-53 are a couple of the most obvious examples.

23 1 Peter 4:12-13 ESV

servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you.”24 Peter calls his audience “sojourners and exiles.”25 Hebrews takes this idea even further by indicating that the church in this present age is in the same situation as Israel in the wilderness. We await the fnal Sabbath rest of the heavenly promised land, of which the earthly promised land and our weekly Sabbath rest are but dim pictures in comparison.26 Te consistent picture painted by the New Testament is that, for the Christian in this life, sufering is a given 27

But just as the afictions of Christ were not meaningless, neither are the afictions of the church. As Christians, the pain that we endure in this life takes on a distinctly diferent character. Instead of punishing us in his wrath, God graciously chastises us with his fatherly discipline. Te author

of Hebrews exhorts us,

Christian, the sufering that you endure in this life is not random, it is not meaningless, and it is not malicious. Far from being at the arbitrary vicissitudes of the world, you are frmly in the hands of your loving Father. Puritan theologian Tomas Boston put it well in his book on sufering:

The Crook in the Lot by Thomas Boston, pp. 38-39

Tis is a great comfort to the sufering believer. It is not as though we are aficted for our sins, for we know that Christ has paid the whole price for them already on the cross29 — indeed, even this gif of fatherly discipline comes because we are adopted as sons of God.30 Rather, “[God] disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness.” 31

Joy Through Sorrow?

But there is yet an even greater comfort for the sufering saint. By our afictions, not only are we conformed into the image of Christ in his holiness,32 we are also prepared for eternal blessedness in Glory. We may properly say that our sufering — even the very pain therein — becomes for us a source of joy when we see Christ face-to-face. Te Apostle Paul put it this way: “we do not lose heart. Tough our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary afiction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.”

33 When Jesus was preparing his disciples for his crucifxion, death, and resurrection in John 16, he said,

It would seem contradictory to the eyes of the world that we would rejoice in our suferings.35 And yet, as Christians, we may indeed have true joy in sufering. It’s not a false joy that pretends that sufering doesn’t exist — we are commanded even to weep with those who weep36 — but a true joy, one that admits to the reality and difculty of sufering, and yet one that sees even the very pain and hardship therein with the eyes of faith, knowing that it is but for a little while,37 that it comes by the hand of our most wise and kind heavenly Father,38 that it is for our good,39 and that it is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison.40 We may be, as the Apostle described, “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing,” 41 through faith in the God who turns our sorrow into everlasting joy.

Conclusion

As we live in this world, kept between Eden lost and Eden restored, we will have tribulation, but take heart, Christian: Christ has overcome the world.42 Learn from Christ, that your afiction is not because you have sinned, but in order that you might not sin, and that you have a great High Priest who is intimately and personally familiar with your pain. And learn from the Scriptures’ teaching on the church, that you may know that God’s discipline is for your good — that you may share His holiness — as each afiction prepares you more and more for that great Day, when all the sorrows of this life will turn into joy.

1 Peter 5:10 ESV

John 16:20-22 ESV

In a sermon on this passage, Rev. Dr. Carlton Wynne beautifully described the joy that emerges from sufering, saying,

24 John 15:20 ESV

25 1 Peter 2:11 ESV

26 Hebrews 3:7-4:11

27 James 1:2.

28 “The crook in your lot” is an old way life. We all have “lots,” that is, all have “crooks,” that is, parts of our lots that are not the way that we would like them to be. But, as Bos ton points out, all of our lots are always precisely as God would have them to be.

29 1 Peter 2:24

30 Galatians 3:26

31 Hebrews 12:10

32 Romans 8:29

33 2 Corinthians 4:16-17 ESV

34 https://www.sermonaudio. com/sermons/91423240277236

35 An allusion to a common New Testament theme; cf. Romans 5:3, Colossians 1:24, 1 Peter 1:6, 4:13, James 1:2

36 Romans 12:15

37 1 Peter 5:10

38 Matthew 10:29-31

39 Hebrews 12:10, Romans 8:28

40 2 Corinthians 4:17

41 2 Corinthians 6:10 ESV

42 John 16:33

A Little While to Seeing Jesus by Rev. Dr. Carlton Wynne34

THE PERENNIAL

VERSE | SEAN KIM

Perennials are plants that die back to the ground in fall or winter but regrow from their roots each spring, enduring harsh seasons and returning year after year.

From the lifeless dust of the earth, He grants me breath.

Breaking past the sufocating mass of dark and dirt, I arise.

Unfurling towards vibrant, radiant possibility, my hands extend.

Basking in the glory and serenity of Creation, I praise and rejoice.

Ten winter comes.

Like a thief in the night, a new storm arrives. Tunder and cold infuse my soul, lightning and rain rattle my bones.

I know life isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. I was prepared, or at least I thought I was. But sometimes it’s just a little too much.

Sometimes I forget sunshine and rainbows ever existed, lose hope they’ll ever return. And I just want everything to stop.

But sufering is easy; gratitude is harder.

So scarred and battered, broken and bruised, I’ll remain standing

Should the drought wilt my leaves, I shall grow anew.

Should the whole earth tremble, I shall remain rooted.

Should the storm bend the stalks, I shall still fght.

Because

He is the Creator, the Shepherd, the Gardener and He is with me.

For even as winter winds dissolve memories of summer days, even as the night somehow becomes darker than before, His steadfastness never fails to make itself known.

In brilliant radiance I see: sorrow that sofened my heart, loneliness that urged gratitude, pain that changed my views, toil that inspired another. As a vine relies on the skyward arbor I do not stand tall—I am lifed high.

For I am the plant that will return again and again!

I am the plant beloved by the Gardener!

For through thunder and cold, lighting and rain, the sun has never failed to reappear.

And as surely as glorious dawn is to come, I will return!

Anecdote of the Crop

WORDS | DAEYONG KWON

A sower went out to sow. And as he sowed, some seeds fell along the path. Other seeds fell on rocky ground. Other seeds fell among thorns. Other seeds fell on good soil.1 But at night, the enemy came to the good soil and sowed weeds among the wheat and went away. So when the plants sprung up from the soil and rocky ground, the weed did also.2

And among the wheat in the good soil, there was a wheat sprout that beheld the weeds growing tall and strong. For the weed was similar to the wheat sprout in appearance, the wheat sprout said to itself, “Let me be like them, that I may be bountiful in my appearance.” And so it stretched itself upward, caring little for its roots or the grain it was meant to bear.

Days passed, and the weeds were still taller and more bountiful in appearance than the wheat sprout. Te wheat sprout said again, “Why should I labor to keep up with mere weeds? When the sower comes, he will see that I have borne grain while the weeds have not.” Ten it looked to the wheat on the rocky ground, which had sprung up quickly, and said “Let me bear much grain at once, that the sower may delight in me.”

But the sprout had not yet laid deep roots, and as the days passed, the sun rose high and scorched every feld. Te wheat in the rocky soil, having no root, withered away.3 Te wheat sprout was scorched also, and was lef withering. Te wheat sprout lamented, “I have seen everything that is done under the sun, and behold, all is vanity!”4

Ten, a strong wind blew, and bent a fourishing wheat stalk towards the withering sprout.5 Te wheat sprout marveled, saying, “How is it that this stalk, though standing taller than I, does not wither? How is it that this stalk, planted in the same soil, has borne much grain?”

Te wheat stalk answered, “I have laid my roots deep into this soil and drawn strength from it. For the grain cannot bear itself unless it abides in good soil. Whoever abides in good soil and the soil in him, he it is that bears much grain, for apart from the soil the wheat can do nothing.”6 Humbled and amazed, the wheat sprout started to lay its roots deeper into the soil, and relied on it to produce grain.

1 Matthew 13:3-9

2 Matthew 13:24-30

3 Matthew 13:18-23

4 Ecclesiastes 1:14

5 Matthew 7:24-27

6 John 15:1-8

When considering writing this piece, I had one goal in mind: to share the essence of John 15:1-8, a passage that recently redefned the way I endured through spiritual trials. At frst, the message can seem trivial: “Just abide in God. Just have faith. Spend more time with God.” But when contextualized in the domain of trials and tribulations, I think this passage unveils a rather unintuitive yet beautiful approach to confronting the unpleasant.

I believe all trials can be overcome through the Fruit of the Spirit. Ofentimes though, we try to bear this fruit ourselves. We expect ourselves to fgure it out, to become a more loving, joyful, patient person. But who are “we” without the Holy Spirit? Where will we source the “nutrients” for the fruit? Without the Spirit, bearing this fruit becomes an impossible task. Instead of overexerting ourselves and focusing on the issue at hand, taking a step back and drawing “nutrients” from the Spirit frst may be the more productive answer.

Taking inspiration from the many garden-themed parables in the Bible, this piece chronologically outlines my past experiences and the unproductive ways I dealt with them in the form of a parable, starting from my freshman year in college until now. Translating this to my perspective, I am the wheat sprout. Te weeds (tares, a specifc type of weed that resembles wheat) are people who appear just as happy and content, if not to a greater extent, with their lives despite not knowing Christ. Te wheat sowed on rocky ground is as Jesus describes: “one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy … and when tribulation or persecution arises … falls away.”3 And the wheat stalk at the end is a specifc pastor who has given me guidance throughout my life.

Many parts of this anecdote, including the ending, are lef open-ended for interpretation. I hope that you, with your unique story, can somehow relate to my story and interpret it in your own way. What does it mean to “lay deep roots,” “abide,” or “draw from the soil”? For me, it’s spending time with God through scripture reading and prayers of thanksgiving. To you, it might mean worship, fellowship, prayer, reading, or even serving. Whatever it may be, next time you fnd yourself overwhelmed by the turbulence of life, take a step back and equip yourself frst by drawing from the Spirit.

OutRunning of Time

WORDS | CATHERINE TIAN

“CAN I JOIN YOU ON YOUR RUN TODAY?”

My friend asks me this as I begin to tie my frst shoelace. Tis is an unexpected request — I typically go on my spur-of-the-moment runs alone. But I haven’t seen him in a while and am excited for his company. I eagerly say yes.

Te weather is beautiful today. Te sun has the golden warmth of an 11:00 am hug, and the wind gently counteracts its heat as though the two are dancing. It is as if the sun and the wind are also running around — like two children playing tag. Joyful. Inviting.

I fnish tying my shoes, phone in hand, shifing my weight from one leg to another as the pre-run anticipation begins to crash over me. I feel adrenaline race through my veins, reminding me why I love running.

“Hey come on. Let’s go let’s go let’s go! We have to get back before lunch. I want to get going.” I impatiently hurry him along.

My friend smiles without a word and ties his shoes on. His sneakers are black, simple in design with the bottoms deeply soiled. Teir wear marks him as a veteran runner who had put in the miles, each step flled with love for the sport. First lef, then right, I watch him meticulously take his time knotting his laces. My skin crawls with impatience. I stare at my watch, catching its gaze just in time to see it blink from 11:00 to 11:01.

I can’t wait any longer.

Finally, we set of, him on my lef, stride for stride as we slowly ease into what I can immediately tell will be a great run. My feet hit the pavement with a sof “thump” every second, him doing the same by my side. We fall into an easy rhythm, creating a steady metronomic beat that matches the ever-increasing cadence of my heart waking up from its slumber.

Te familiar pavement welcomes me back as I continue down my regular route. Te uphills and downhills come like waves. I know which crevices to avoid and where to shif my weight back or brace my knees. I imagine I am a surfer, plunging headfrst into the rolling terrain I know all too well, becoming one with the waves, an invitation home.

I get ready to make a lef, glancing at my watch just as we hit the one-mile mark. Right on schedule. My feet instinctively guide me towards the trail, but my friend veers right, in the opposite direction I was headed. He looks back and makes sure that I am behind him. Reluctantly, I follow.

Irritation courses through my veins as we deviate from my usual path. I’m now of course, and just as I was getting a good stride. All at once, the once gentle warmth of the sun becomes too hot on my back. Sweat beads stick to my face, each droplet clinging distinctly to my skin. Te wind blows my hair into my face, fanning fames of annoyance. A truck rushes past nearby, a few decibels too high for my liking. My friend looks at me, somehow unbothered by all these nuisances. He knows I am irritated; I’m sure of it. My pace is quickening — smoke of the fre inside me must be billowing out behind. But the feeling is quickly suppressed. I remind myself to remain level-headed, enjoy the moment, and follow the lead of someone who objectively has more running experience.

We continue down the new trail, this one unpaved and slightly muddy. As I glance at my shoes, I notice a thin layer of brown dirt inching its way along the pale blue treads of my sneakers, turning my semi-new shoes a murky brown. It’s as if the hills of the pavement have agitated my soul. Another bout of irritation catches me of guard.

Regaining my footing, now acclimated to the new terrain, I turn to ask my friend if he wants to pick up the pace so we can make up for some of the lost time. I know he can run faster than me; the beads of sweat on his forehead are a mere courtesy to my soon-to-be fully drenched black racer tank. But where he was once by my side, matching me stride for stride, he is nowhere to be found. I rewind to moments before, realizing that the sound of our feet running together has been cut in half as it turned into just the sound of my shoes hitting the ground.

Slightly frantic, I stop. Heart pounding, I feel its every stomp as I gasp for breath, partially from fear, partially as my heart attempts to helplessly regain its normal rhythm.

I begin to retrace my steps, hoping to fnd any sign of where my friend might have gone. About twenty steps back, I fnally see him. My fear

transforms back into annoyance. I speed up towards him, ready to ask him why he decided to stop and leave me on a random, dirt-ridden, unknown path. And now we’re going to be late for lunch. It’s already 11:35, and we are barely halfway done with the miles I had planned to run.

I open my mouth, ready to let it all out, because I’ve quite honestly had enough of this spontaneity, when I see his eyes fxed on a house not twenty yards away.

Te house is blocked by a decaying wooden fence, its lopsided beams a refection of the many families that it has dedicated itself to protect. But the house’s focal point is its garden. Small and humble, the garden has the air of a middle-aged mother. Baby red tomatoes growing in one corner, the sprouts of bell peppers in another. Judging by how carefully it’s kept, I presume the mother must be a recent empty-nester who now nurtures her plants just as she tended to her children, hoping that if she watered them well, they too would one day bear fruit.

I look to the side at my friend again. He is focused on this house, this garden, a small smile playing on his lips. So I turn back, mirroring his posture, trying my best to see what might be intriguing enough to justify standing here, looking at some random lady’s house.

My eyes follow his line of sight to rest on the tomato plants again. I stare for a while, and a strange thought strikes me. Tese tomatoes are ripe, and they are quite red. It’s the same shade of red as the Lunar New Year’s envelope I received just days ago from my parents, a tradition of hope and prosperity.

Is that what the mother also hoped for her children when she planted them?

A pair of birds — cardinals, from the looks of it — land at the edge of the garden. It’s picturesque, how the birds and plants balance each other. Te birds rest delicately, perfectly balanced on the edge of a thin fence. Te tomatoes are slightly paler than the red of the cardinals, a detail I had never put together. But the two shades of red complement each other, indicative of a central artist.

I stare at the trees. Te trunks. Tey are brown. But not a dull, rotting brown like the fence. Te fence has the brown of a grandfather who has gone through battle and has been giving his service willingly to the occupants of the families he watches over. Te trees, however, are an intermediate sort of brown: an in-between, youthful brown, as if the tree itself was preparing for something to come.

Was the tree also in its season of waiting?

I feel a strange sense of deja-vu, as if this was not the frst time I had seen something of this shade. I look down, my eyes once again met with the dirt that has now managed to crawl up to the sides of the laces on my shoes. But the brown looks brighter now that I am standing, not running. Tey look lived in, like my friend’s. I wonder how many diferent dirt roads his shoes have been down.

As I stand there watching the scene before me unfold, I am made aware of my own heavy breathing. I place my hand over my chest, only just realizing how fast my heart is beating and how hard I have been breathing. I think back to running just minutes earlier, realizing that my pace had increased along with my exasperation without my knowing. Had my friend not stopped, I know I would have tired myself out on this unknown path.

His eyes meet my gaze now as if he knows what I am thinking. Ten he turns around, indicating that he is ready to continue our run. With one last glance at the garden, I do what I should have done from the beginning.

I follow Him.

THE SPIRIT

WORDS | RAPHAEL CHENG

SO LONG AS THERE HAS BEEN MAN, THERE HAS BEEN THE HOE.

Let me explain.

Ever since Te Fall, man has been condemned to toil the soil for sustenance.1 One could argue that the farmer is the oldest profession in the world — afer all, human civilization is built on food. We need it to survive. And of the many farming tools that have been developed over the years, one stands out from the rest for its long-lasted use and simplicity — though perhaps it is this simplicity that gives it its beauty. I am of course talking about the hoe.

Te hoe has three primary functions. It is used to till the ground, breaking up the clumps of dirt and compacted soil that prevent crops from otherwise taking root. It is used to weed undesirable vegetation that inhibits the growth of healthy crops. And it is used to furrow the ground, preparing the soil to receive good seed. Tese steps, tilling, weeding, and furrowing, are crucial for crops to grow healthily — and they can all be achieved using the same elegant tool. Beautiful, isn’t it?

I BELIEVE THERE IS A HOE IN ALL OF US.

It is an invisible hoe, sometimes acting so quietly you don’t even notice it, sometimes so apparent that you couldn’t ignore it if you wished to. But the hoe is there. It breaks up soil, roots out weeds, and digs deep trenches within us. It is the instrument that prepares our hearts to become a new creation, the tool that allows us to grow and bear fruit. Tis hoe goes by the name of the Holy Spirit.

1 Genesis 3:17-19

2 Matthew 13:4-6, 19-21

In order for seeds to be planted, there must frst be suitable soil, which is reached with a process known as . Tilling loosens the ground by breaking up clumps and sifing packed soil. Tis allows for air to permeate, letting seeds germinate, and creates access for water to reach the plant roots. Without it, the seeds would sufocate to death. Of course, tilling requires a full upheaval for the soil at hand. Dirt will be overturned, mixed up, broken into bits, so that the end result is unrecognizable from the beginning. Tilling leaves the ground messy and ugly and loose, not neat and tight and compact like it was before. And yet it is in this mess that the seeds are able to thrive.

In the parable of the sower, Jesus compares some who hear the word of the kingdom to seeds that fall on the road or on rocky soil.2 Tese seeds are unable to take root or fnd nutrition, and quickly fall away. Tey never sprout.

Tere are a lot of reasons why people can be unreceptive to the good news. It could be personal, situational, or philosophical. But a common thread to many of these is that the gospel simply does not have a place in their life. Perhaps their personal past has led them to believe that life is better — more simple, orderly — without God, without Jesus. Perhaps there is no place for Him in their worldview, in how they understand the universe and its mechanisms. Or perhaps they are so busy that they just don’t have time for Him. Teir soil is too orderly, too compact, too stif, and so they are unable to receive the seed. It must be upturned.

Many times, the tilling process is not a pleasant one. It could be something as minor as a little worry that needles its way into someone’s mind, or something as drastic as a loved one’s death, a major layof, or a sudden health issue. Mind you, the subject of the tilling may already believe, or

have even accepted Christ in their lives. We ofen take God and leave Him as another carefully curated object in our orderly box of life, not allowing any space for movement or growth. It is then that the Holy Spirit will shake up our box. Because of this upheaval there is now space for God to fll. Trough this tilling, there is a chance for him to reveal himself to us, for us to see what it is that we are missing.

AND SO THE HOE TILLS.

In order for plants to thrive, the soil must also be . Weeds choke out newborn sprigs, killing young crops that are still trying to grow. Tey block sunlight from smaller sprouts. Tey steal nutrients that would otherwise go to healthy plants. Weeds are common plants, fnding their way onto every plot of land, and they ofen look unassuming, or even pretty. Take the dandelion, with its little yellow fowers or cute white pufalls. It may look nice, but dandelions are difcult to uproot and spread everywhere very quickly, making them a nuisance to remove. If the farmer does not weed the planting ground, crops will never get the chance to mature and bear fruit. Tey will be snufed out at birth.

Te next batch of seeds in the parable of the sower falls on thorns.3 Tese sprouts try to grow but are quickly choked out by the weeds, which Jesus explains are the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches.

Te world is full of distractions that seek to draw us away from God. Tese can be material or immaterial, but they are all not of God. Tey

latch on to us, block us from seeing the light of God, divert us from his calling and his voice. Tey prevent us from becoming His children. Many times we are so busy dealing with weeds, sometimes even appreciating or desiring them, that we are unable to grow in faith.

Tere are some weeds in our lives that are very obvious. Tese can be addictions to drugs, alcohol, or pornography, or habitual sins of anger, greed, or lust. While these weeds are easily found and identifed, they are much harder to completely root out of our lives. Te strongest, most steadfast Christians will spend their entire lives strugling with these sins, even as they continually repent and try to overcome them. Weeding is not a one-time process; it must be done over and over, because weeds are persistent — they come back, they sneak in, they invade.

Some weeds are much harder to spot. On the surface, they might look harmless, unassuming, like a little dandelion fower in the feld. But their roots can be wide-spreading, crippling, and even harder to root out. Afer all, would you think to root out that which you believe to be good? We are called to love our partner — but what if we place them above God? What if we put our friends before Him? What if, in our pursuit of a career or a dream, we lose sight of that which is important — if, instead of looking to eternity, we look to a temporary respite that we believe will give us happiness or peace? It’s important to recognize the things in our life that get in the way of God, and work to uproot them so that they don’t choke out the constant process of growing in faith.

AND SO THE HOE WEEDS.

Afer tilling and weeding, the farmer could just scatter seeds and cultivate the plants wherever they fell in the feld. Instead, what now happens is a process called : the dirt is molded into long trenches along the plot of land, and the seeds are planted within these channels. Furrowing helps with moisture retention and efcient crop growing, producing larger yields and more sustainable agricultural practices. But beyond that, it prepares the soil to receive seeds. And once it does, and once they grow, there is a new order and neatness in the garden — one fourishing with fruit.

Jesus fnishes the parable of the sower with the last batch of seeds. Tese fall on good soil, producing thirty, sixty, or even a hundred-fold of grain.4 It is not that the seeds were any diferent from the rest, for the gospel is the same to all — it is the reception of the seeds that allows them to grow. It is the preparation of the good soil, of our hearts, that allows them to fourish.

In order to develop a relationship with God, our hearts must frst be open to accepting Him. However, sin has made us so far removed from God that without divine intervention, there is no way we could ever hope to draw near to him. Tankfully, our God is a God who intervenes. He wants to be reconciled with us, to enter into a covenant relationship with us, so he sends the Holy Spirit to prepare our hearts. It must be shaped so that we are willing and able to accept God into our lives — changed from a heart of stone into a heart of fesh.5 It must be reformed and made anew.

Te Holy Spirit opens us up to become living vessels for God. It creates in us the desire to draw close to him and stirs in us the fres of faith that

burn for the King of Kings. We are shaped into the beautiful creation that He intended, and in doing so made capable of so much more for his kingdom. Only when we are molded into his intended works are we able to yield the most fruit.

AND SO THE HOE FURROWS.

I hope that you will let the Holy Spirit work within you. Perhaps you’ve read this piece and thought to yourself, “I’m already a Christian. Te Holy Spirit has already made me into a new creation. I no longer need a hoe.” And part of that is true. You have been justifed and made new — once you are a child of God, you need not fear abandonment. But justifcation and sanctifcation are two diferent things. We live an unending journey of sanctifcation because we fail daily to live the perfect lives expected of us from a perfect God. For the Holy Spirit, the work is ongoing. Every day is a day of tilling, of rearranging our lives to ft more of God in it, until He is above everything and in everything. Every day is a day of weeding, of recognizing the things that pull us away from God and stamping them out of our lives. And every day is a day of furrowing, of shaping us to be more like Christ so that we can grow into the creations we were always meant to be.

3 Matthew 13:7, 22

4 Matthew 13:8, 23

5 Ezekiel 36:26

HIDING

WORDS | SIMON RUIZ

IMAGE | JOSHUA CHUNG

Oh no, look at you, sinning again.

I, I didn’t mean to It doesn’t matter, you still sinned right? I did sin

Well, what are you going to do?

I can repent, right?

What, so you can just sin again later? Repentance without change isn’t repentance.

I can– I can change, I can stop sinning

How are you going to do that?

God can help-

I’ll do something

Can a sinner like you be trusted not to mess up again?

something to make up for what I did Wait, do you hear that? What is it?

Because I messed up. I sinned against God

Well, I mean, He knows everything

No! … yes… no… maybe?

I’ll read more, I’ll serve more, I’ll just be a better Christian until I’m good enough

I… I don’t know

I mean, I guess not

No! I can’t yet!

I haven’t done anything to make me worthy of forgiveness

But… How can I face Him like this?

I’m too ashamed. Can I really go to a loving God like this?

Y

BRO K E N VESSEL

VERSE | JOSHUA CHUNG

a broken vessel discarded by the world left in the dump heavy with destitution

but He knows the vessel’s worth and brings it to His place of growth to be made new in His care to be given purpose in His tending place brought to the fount of life and light the Gardener begins His work the vessel is prepared for greater things the vessel sees only its cracks where precious life seems to spill away unworthy of a higher way but in the Gardener’s steady hands the vessel is placed where life can grow to pour His love in every place poured out upon the waiting ground every break, bearing new life His power is made perfect in weakness brought out from the dump lifted and poured into by the Gardener’s hands no longer bound to destitution to behold a garden blooming in the desert wind the Gardener has given this wretch purpose this cracked vessel held in the Gardener’s grace where brokenness makes way for beauty it has this treasure in jars of clay to show the surpassing power belongs to God and not us.

— 2 Corinthians 4:7

Our Gardener

WORDS | LOIS LEE

I. PLANTING

A bell jingles as the door swings open. A friendly grin from the nursery staf and the rich scents of plants and soil greet the gardener as he ambles in. Te gardener strolls through the aisles of seed packets, deep in thought. Te petunias? No, it’s already too late to plant them now. Te poppies? No, they’d bloom too late, when the rest of his garden is out of season. Te lilacs. He picks out several packets of lilac seeds, and a warm smile spreads across his face as he envisions how his garden will look in half a year. As he drives home, he hums as he repeatedly glances at the seat next to him, where his seeds bounce along the bumps of the gravel road back to the gardener’s home. Te gardener gives birth to a fower with his planting. Te seeds he carefully selected at the nursery are what he knows will thrive and look most elegant in his garden when spring comes. With great expectation, the gardener creates tiny divets in the soil for the seed to delicately fall into its new home. Every morning, the gardener walks out to his garden, gives a sprinkle of water, and looks out for any signs of the lilacs starting to sprout above the soil.

God breathed life into man. He carefully created a place for us to join His family in His garden. He was the Gardener even before the creation of the garden. He has been our Gardener since before He tore open the seed packets to have us fall into the soil. When He created man, He did so in His image. And afer creation, He continues to be the Gardener who never forsakes His garden. Once nestled within the soil, the Gardener tends to His seeds, ensuring the soil is the proper environment for the seed to grow its roots then sprout. Unlike the earthly gardener, the Lord as our Gardener does not make His morning rounds then leave His garden unattended for the rest of the day. He keeps watch over His garden day in and day out, sheltering and nurturing the seedlings constantly.

IMAGE

JOSHUA CHUNG

II. GROWTH AND NUTRITION

As the seasons change, the seed forms roots, sprouts a stem, lengthens, buds, then fnally blooms in the spring. Even as the fower matures, the gardener continues feeding the fower, packing on fertilizer. Te unassuming lilac seed has now transformed into a fully grown fower with a display of vibrant petals. Te solid blue and violet hues of the lilacs nestled next to delicate peonies create a dynamic landscape. Te fowers sway to the gentle breeze in a synchronized motion; butterfies swoop in and out of the frame. As the gardener takes a step back and looks around at his garden, he proudly admires its beauty. Tis is exactly what he imagined his garden to look like when he frst stepped foot in the nursery months ago.

III. WILTED

When a drought hits and the once-plump lilacs shrivel, the gardener uproots them. When his garden freezes over during the winter and is unable to recover from the cold months, the gardener clears his garden and replants a new garden for the following spring. He stops by the nursery again, perusing the seeds, contemplating which seeds to plant this year. Why does the gardener do such unkind things to his garden? Does he not care about the garden he had tended to for the past year? Why would he give up on their plants and start anew? It is because those wilted and dead plants ruined the image of his once vibrant garden. Te limp posture of the wilted fowers disrupts the neat rows that the gardener originally planted. Te dead lilacs mute the vibrancy of the rest of the garden with their browned petals. So the gardener chooses to take his tools and uproot the fowers that are no longer thriving.

GARDENER

Te Gardener provides the nutrients to thrive spiritually. We are His fowers, and He wants to see us bloom with bright colors. He longs to see His fowers at full bloom not just in the peak of spring, but year-round. From the frst day His fowers were planted, He supplied soil and fertilizer in the form of His living Word, giving hearty soil for the roots of the fowers to anchor to. His lilies of the feld grow to be beautiful, because He has created us in His image. And as His fowers bloom and mature, He brings in companion plants, ones that He knows will enrich with spiritual brotherhood. Te Gardener knows that the growth of His fowers will not be without strugle, so He intertwines His Spirit to dwell within the roots of His fowers.

But the Gardener does not do this with His garden. His heart breaks when a fower has lost its color and begins to sag. He never has the sentiment that this wilting fower is no longer beautiful. He has never thought that the drooping fower is ruining the image of the rest of His garden. In the Gardener’s eyes, His fower is just as elegant at the peak of spring as when it hangs limp and heavy. He pursues the one fower that is lost and shriveled. He loves on it even at its weakest. When His fowers cry out to Him in sufering and hurt, He weeps with them. When the Gardener sees a shriveled fower longing for nutrition, He knows exactly how to revive it again with His spiritual food. He will provide it with extra fertilizer and water, staying by its side always, teaching it that He is there to be leaned on. He keeps pursuing the lost fower until it is found and full of life. Now the Gardener rejoices; His garden is now alive, found, and within the embrace of His arms once again.

Te Lord is our Gardener. He tends to His garden with daily care and love, all the way from the frst stage of planting, to the cries of wilting, to the joyful celebrations of growth and revival. He gives His fowers living water in seasons of drought; He shields them from harsh storms. But even when His fower stands tall, it does not do so with pride and boasting. Its inherent nature and potential to be a beautiful fower at full bloom is all due to the Creator. Te wondrous, intentional design for the fower was crafed by the Gardener from the time the seed was rescued from the rows of seeds at the nursery. Te grace and love of the Gardener gave the fower life; all the glory belongs to Him and Him only. How blessed are we to have steadfast assurance knowing we are being nurtured by the Gardener. And how blessed are we to be able to call the Gardener who tends for us Abba, Father.

EDEN TO

WORDS | ANSLEY CHENG

Every time I read Genesis 2, I get upset.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful passage — a closer, deeper look into the creation of mankind. We see that the Lord God, who has just brought the entire universe into being, does not simply retreat into the cosmos to observe His works from afar. Instead, He enters this vibrant world He has made, reaching into the dirt to perform His grand fnale; he “[forms] a man from the dust of the ground and [breathes] into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man [becomes] a living being.” 1

What an incredible sentence. And from here, compounding on the miracle of his very existence, this man Adam receives gif afer gif from his Creator. Not just breath in his lungs, but breath: a tie of intimacy and joyful

dependence. Not just a place to live, but a lush and bountiful garden, where every tree is “pleasing to the eye and good for food.”2 Not just a few animals to keep him company, but a woman, made for him and from him, “bone of [his] bones and fesh of [his] fesh.”3

Now, you may be wondering what about this is the least bit upsetting. In this passage, beauty and perfection and unity abound — Adam is clearly living his best life. Te problem is, I’ve read the Bible enough to know that it won’t last.

Just six verses into Genesis 3, Adam and his wife, Eve, will succumb to temptation, turn their backs on their heavenly Father, and pursue their own way, breaking the garden’s

perfect harmony. Teir rebellion will throw the world into chaos. Tey will fall, and we have been falling ever since.

THEY WILL FALL, AND WE HAVE BEEN FALLING EVER SINCE.

Tat’s what always gets me. Tat’s what sends me to my knees, asking God in frustration how they could have given all that up. A garden of work without toil, and unlimited free, healthy, delicious food, and the God-ordained love of their lives? As a busy, broke, and single college student, I would give just about anything to live there. And, more importantly,

GETHSEMANE

as a Christian who is still very much human, I would give anything to experience that unbroken, natural-as-breathing intimacy with God. No more quiet-times where I fall asleep halfway through. No more lost battles with bad habits, and the shame that follows. No more long nights where His presence seems gone. In the midst of these strugles, I ofen fnd myself mourning Eden — that simple, beautiful place so devastatingly diferent from the world today — and longing for some way back.

If you’ve been there too, I have good news. Tere may not be a way back, but there is a way forward. In fact, it comes in the form of another garden: the mirror opposite of Eden, but oddly enough, so much better in the long run.

You see, fashing back to the Old Testament, God still refuses to hover indiferently in heaven, even as humanity’s blatant rebellion continues. He faces a dilemma, though. While he has every right to destroy these broken, corrupted people for the atrocities they’ve committed, against both Him and each other, He still cannot help but love them.4 He is the embodiment of perfect love, afer all, and they are his treasured creation.

However, this does not change the fact that the world is engulfed in evil, which must be stopped, punished, ended forever. Since sin rejects God, and God is the only source of life, then sin must inevitably lead to death; if the humans are to be spared, someone must die in their place, to uphold the balance of justice. Not just anyone, though. None of the ordinary humans will sufce, because they already deserve this consequence. Te only one righteous enough to take on the challenge is the only one who doesn’t deserve it — the sinless man, God in the fesh, Jesus Christ.5

And so, the plan of God takes shape. In the form of Jesus, he will descend into his creation, just as he did when he frst spoke it into being. He will live a perfect life for thirty-three years, and then he will sacrifce himself to save his people from all their messiness and sin.6

Towards the end of the four Gospels, it is this man who waits in the garden of Gethsemane, exhausted and alone, preparing for his rescue mission to commence.

In this second garden, no hint of Eden’s blissful serenity remains. Jesus may be fully God, but he’s also fully human: we see him assaulted with all the frenetic emotions one would expect of a man about to be killed. He’s in agony, “overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,”7 his sweat laced with blood,8 falling on his face before his Father. He takes the cup of his demise into shaking hands, and he prays for God’s will to be done.

Once again, the entire world is about to turn upside down. Once again, a man is about to give up everything for the unworthy. But unlike in Adam’s case, Jesus’s sacrifce will redeem humanity, not condemn it. Not through thoughtless pride, but through incredible, intentional humility. And while Adam dismissed God’s authority to chase his own desires, Jesus will take on immense sufering for the glory of his Father’s name.

Tese passages are sobering, and rightly so. Ultimately, though, Gethsemane gives hope to the strugling Christian; no matter how our fesh may fail, our faith lies in the redeeming sacrifce of Jesus, and our salvation in Him is secure.9 As displayed in the very next chapters, like Eden’s peace, Gethsemane’s anguish won’t last: Jesus will return from the dead and bathe this broken world in hope.10 He will rise, and

HE WILL RISE, AND THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN HIM HAVE BEEN RISING EVER SINCE.

those who believe in him have been rising ever since.

Granted, it can be slow and uncertain, this process of sanctifcation.11 However, we know that one day, God will come down to earth for the fnal time. Te book of Revelation tells us that once again, we will “‘be his people, and God himself will be with [us] and be [our] God. ‘He will wipe every tear from [our] eyes. Tere will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things [will have] passed away.’”12

From Eden to Gethsemane, and onward to eternity, He is the one thing that never changes. So as we wait and watch for that day, when we will once again enjoy eternity in his presence, we pursue the life that Jesus modeled for us. We rest in our Father’s boundless love and sovereign will. We seek to bring others into his kingdom. And we trust him with joy and steadfastness, that he will one day lead us home.

1 Genesis 2:7

2 Genesis 2:9

3 Genesis 2:23

4 Micah 7:18-19, Lamentations 3:22-23

5 Romans 5:12-21, 2 Corinthians 5:18-21

6 Isaiah 53

7 Matthew 26:38, Mark 14:34

8 Luke 22:34. Likely referring to hematidrosis — the rupturing of tiny capillaries in sweat glands due to intense emotional stress or mental contemplation

9 1 John 1:9

10 Luke 24:1-8, John 11:25

11 Romans 7:21-25

12 Revelation 21:3-4

THE SOURCE

COMIC | TAMMY PHAM

We were made to be in relation with God. Within each of us is an innate yearning for Him and the fulfillment and joy only He can provide. This resolute satisfaction can only come straight from Him. Often our hearts and desires wander and drift to the false shininess of this world. Yet, only through continual abidance in our Father can we be truly satiated.

Do It for the Vine

WORDS | ANDY OUYANG

Tere is a garden that God places in our care. But instead of plants growing in that garden, it’s people and relationships. Some relationships we search for and choose to plant in our garden. Other relationships have been planted there from the start. But above all, our garden must have one relationship growing at its center—a vine.

The Garden We Choose

We ofen consider those who we choose to share our lives with our friends. But what is a friend? Merriam Webster defnes a friend as “one attached to another by afection or esteem.”1 But what amount of “afection” or “esteem” separates an acquaintance from a friend? One person may draw that line diferently than the next. However you defne it, we would never be satisfed with only knowing acquaintances.

Scripture gives us a diferent defnition of friendship. It doesn’t undermine the importance of “afection” or “esteem”; the famous friendship of David and Jonathan was full of afection and esteem. Rather, in addition, it requires that true friendship is intentional, involved, and interceding.

In Proverbs, we see the intentional choice behind friendship. We are told that “the righteous choose their friends carefully” and there is value in being intentional and having “a friend” as opposed to “many companions.”2 Friendship also means being closely involved in one another’s lives. Jesus called his disciples “friends” and was deeply involved in their lives: spending time with them, eating with them, and confding in them. Finally, friendship also means interceding in one another’s lives. A friend

gives “earnest counsel” and is not afraid to “wound” you when necessary. 3 Tere is an intimacy and commitment to biblical friendship that goes beyond just afection or esteem. And yet, there is a joy and delight to friendship that goes beyond just duty and responsibility.

Friends are the fowers of our garden. Tere is something sweet in our shared interests or experiences, like a fragrance which draws us in. And there is a brightness and color that only someone else’s personality can bring to our lives. But if our friendships are not deeply rooted, they become wilted and easily blown away during the storms of our life.

The Garden Chosen For Us

If friends are the fowers in our garden, then family are the trees in our garden, ones that have been there for as long as we can remember. Unlike friends, who we can choose, family is something we are born into. We don’t choose family members based on the sweetness of shared experience or the color of their personality. Rather, the strength of family is in the deep roots which anchor us through the storms of “adversity” in our lives. 4

So, if there is a distinction between friends and family, how about our “brothers” and “sisters” in Christ? Te comparison of church to family is used over and over. We are called “members of the household of God”5 and part of “the household of faith.”6 When we follow Christ, we are born again into the family of believers, and the same concept applies: we cannot choose our siblings. And yet we are called to worship God together, love and serve one another, and be a light to those outside the church. We are no longer “strangers” to God or to one another, but we are chosen into an eternal family, united under Christ.

So what happens when we make friends within our church family? By “choosing” only some people to be friends, are we showing partiality and making “distinctions among ourselves?” 7

According to a survey by the American Bible Society, they found that the most common negative experience in church was “exclusion or cliques within the faith community.” 8 And for most Christians, that may not come as a surprise. It’s natural to want to make friends with likeminded people, and for many Christians, those are other members of the church. By nature, friendships are intentional and friend groups are exclusive. According to Aristotle, “A friend to all is a friend to none,” and there is some truth to that. Tere is a depth and commitment to real friendship that cannot be realistically maintained with too many people. So how can we have close, intentional friendships without leaving some members of the church feeling excluded? Te answer lies in how we view the church and our relationship with Christ.

The Garden We Are Chosen For

In our garden, Jesus is the vine and we the church are its branches.9 And it is through that “true vine” that all believers are connected by an unbreakable bond of unity.

Te unity we are called to have as a church is one that mirrors the unity found between the Father, Son, and Spirit.10 And the bond that we have in Christ is stronger and closer than any other bond. For what binding can be stronger than the blood of Christ and who could be closer to you than your own body?11 Jesus charges us to love one another in the same way that He has loved us: sacrifcially and unconditionally. It’s only through “bearing with one another”12 in that sacrifcial and unconditional love that we can fnd the unity we’re called for.

Unity in the church is not something that comes naturally; it takes deliberate sacrifce, patience, humility, and forgiveness. It means making others feel welcome and honored at the expense of our own comfort in the types of people we normally get along with and the communities we’ve formed. It also means giving one another grace and bearing with one another in patience when we feel excluded or unwelcome. But “bearing with one another” does not mean bottling up our pains and hurts into bitterness. We should be honest with one another: accepting a “complaint” in humility and, in turn, forgiving one another.13

But the purpose of church is more than just to fnd unity with one another. As fellow branches from the vine, we are called to bear fruit. And as a church, we need to begin with that mission.

Our mission is both inward and outward: calling those in the church to become more like Christ and bringing those in the world to see and know Christ. Finding a welcoming community and sense of belonging may set

the stage for our inward mission, but it is not the end goal. By putting too much of our hope and purpose on community, we lose sight of our greater calling: to worship God and serve others. We are called “fellow workers” and if we truly believe that “the harvest is plentiful but the workers are few,”14 then we cannot aford to exclude even a single worker! But we are also made to rest from our work, and we ofen fnd that rest in our friends that pour into us. Which again leads us back to the central problem: we can’t be friends with everyone. Sometimes, we can’t even be good friends to the ones we have; we fail to love one another time and time again. Which is why we are told to not put our trust “in human beings, who cannot save.”15

But there is one who can save, who calls us both friends16 and family.17 Te extent of His love doesn’t dilute its depth or intensity. His friendship extends to us all individually and personally; dying for us while we were still sinners and walking with us as we are sanctifed. Jesus himself called us friends when he said “greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends”16 and that is exactly what He did for us on that cross. As impossible as it may seem, His command for us is to love one another with that same self-sacrifcial love. And that is what it means to “abide in the vine.” It is only through our relationship with Christ that we can truly know His love for us and be able to love each other the same way. He is a friend who has chosen us, walks with us daily, and intercedes on our behalf. In our friendship with Him, the true vine, we fnd our rest.

1 friend. (2025). In Merriam-Webster Dictionary. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/friend

2 Proverbs 12:26, 18:24

3 Proverbs 27:6,9

4 Proverbs 17:17

5 Ephesians 2:19

6 Galatians 6:10

7 James 2:4

8 Fulks, Jefery, et al. “State of the Bible.” American Bible Society, Sept. 2024, 1s712.americanbible.org/state-of-the-bible/stateofthebible/State_of_the_ bible-2024.pdf.

9 John 15:5

10 John 17:21

11 Ephesians 2:13,16

12 Ephesians 4:2

13 Colossians 3:13

14 Matthew 9:37

15 Psalm 146:3

16 John 15:13-15

17 Matthew 12:50

Under the

I ofen take pleasure in solo walks. Today, with a heavier heart than usual, I step outside to clear my head and bask in the tranquil breath of creation.

While on my stroll, I saw three things under the sun.

I. The Sparrow

Te bird dwells quietly in the bushes, until my sudden presence sends it in a furry. I feel a twinge of guilt. Did I just chase it away from home?

But maybe anywhere is home for the sparrow.

Because He who had nowhere to lay His head gives home to the homeless.

I watch as this nomadic sparrow lands several feet away, plunges its head into the dirt, and afer some wrestling, triumphantly resurfaces with the reward of a failing worm. It takes of again and leaves my feld of view.

Te sparrow never has to worry about what to eat or drink, or where to take shelter, or how to stay warm when the earth dons its white gown each year — a garment strikingly beautiful yet piercing to the touch. In every season, the Lord provides in full.

I stare at the now uninhabited bush for a minute. Just as He takes care of the sparrows who neither sow nor reap, will He not do the same for me? All the prayers I am waiting on Him to answer, all the wounds I am pleading with Him to heal, all the seeds I am yearning for Him to grow—He will tend to it all in His time. Why should I worry about tomorrow when I know who holds the day?

I am reminded that my Father knows exactly what I need. And for the same reason, He withholds

certain things — all for my good.

A weight is lifed of my chest and I almost finch in surprise. I didn’t realize I was sufocating from the burden before. Footsteps a little lighter, I continue onwards.

Another sight catches my wandering eye.

II. The Gardener

Te gardener tends to his garden with meticulous care. Tere is a gentleness to him, like a mother swaddling her child. I am entranced by the compassion that guides his weathered hands, to plant and water, to fertilize and prune. Even as he bustles around, he whistles a merry tune as a love letter to his crops, which sway gleefully in the breeze.

Moved by this graceful display, I decide to strike up a conversation with the gardener. I tell him how I admire his dedication to the plants he is tending. I marvel aloud that he must spend each and every day here in this garden, and he must be proud of the fruits of his labor.

Te gardener’s response is shocking. He throws his head back and chuckles, eyes sparkling in amusement as if to say, “Tat’s what you think.”

In reality, he tells me, he has been quite negligent of the garden. Tis is his frst time back in weeks. Other commitments have grabbed hold of his precious time: copious business trips, planning friend get-togethers, and the many demands of serving at church. However, this little garden that he planted in the community has continued to thrive in his absence.

So the song he was whistling was not simply an encouragement to his sprouts, but also a melody of joy pouring from his soul — a gratitude song to the One who kept the garden alive.

Sun

WORDS | ESTHER SHEN

ILLUSTRATION | LORIEN CHO

A revelation struck me. Te gardener never has to worry about the welfare of his garden when he cannot be present. He never has to doubt whether they, like the sparrow, will be provided for. Te Lord may choose to use him as His hands and feet — but in times when the gardener is faithful and likewise when he is not, the Lord is always, always sufcient.

On the other hand, I have been obsessing over my shortcomings, tormented by the feeling that I have let people down — that I was not good enough.

But I was never meant to carry this load alone. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Tough I may fail a thousand times, it is God who gives unwavering growth. How humbling — even comforting — is it to see Him work without a fnger’s efort from me?

Yet, He still delights in this lacking child, even much more than a gardener delights in his plants.

Another weight is lifed. Scales fall from my heart, hardened against His mercies, and dissolve into dust as they crash on the ground. Choosing to carry the light burden, I wave farewell to the gardener and proceed on my way.

One last thing I saw under the sun.

III. The Branch

Broken, severed, withered. It lays contorted atop the half-soaked, half-dried foliage that shrouds the ground. A solemn sight.

I ponder what happened to this branch. How did it end up in such a state, rejected by the vine that once sustained it?

I let my gaze wander skywards. Te vine clings to the side of a rugged building, hosting a multitude of branches that extend from the central stem. Tey curve optimistically, as if smiling up towards the sun, and wave their leaves amiably at me. Other than the one fallen, the vine and its branches appear perfectly healthy.

Te diference, I observe, between the withered twig below and

the fourishing branches above is connection to the vine. Te lively branches draw nutrients from the vine, enabling them to bear fruit. But the twig sits bare, a consequence of not abiding when it should have, and now hopelessly unable to.

Apart from the vine, a branch can do nothing.

Apart from Jesus, I can do nothing.

Maybe that is the reason for my heavy heart. It is because I have not been abiding in the True Vine, sitting at His feet like Mary did. I forgot that my strength and song do not come once and for all, but through daily flling my cup with His living water.

And now I am feeling the thirst.

I look down at the fallen branch. Tat one may be too far gone. But me? He still invites, to come and drink. His table is open.

At this, a weight dissipates from my heart once more. With feet like the deer’s, I turn back with rejoicing.

I know that His table beckons warmly, and I know it does not require anything of me. It simply asks that I come and lay it all down. All my consuming worries and broken dreams, all my heaviness and sorrows. Even my victories too. Tey are all counted as loss in light of Christ, a striving afer wind.

He asks that I come and trust that He alone is sufcient, that His hands will take what I ofer and mold it into something beautiful.

In the end — the answer He has revealed under the sun is this.

Seek first the kingdom and His righteousness, and everything else will be added.

— MATTHEW 6:33

Garden of Graves

WORDS | ELLIOTT CHEN

IMAGE | DANIEL GUO

“THE LINE BETWEEN GOOD AND EVIL PASSES… THROUGH EVERY HUMAN HEART.”

— Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

The Gulag Archipelago

Red poppies adorn the rows of white headstones, standing in rank and fle across Arlington National Cemetery. Unlike the modern steel skyscrapers towering over the ground, the humble stones saluting the departed demand reverence for those who died in service of their country. In a diferent tone from the previous writers, I invite you to join me in somber refection. For “It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, for death is the destiny of everyone.” What wisdom can we draw from this solemn sight? Te wisdom of Solzhenitsyn, which reminds us that the strugle of good against evil resides not in historical battlefelds, but in the hidden depths of our hearts. For the screaming horrors of the past did not arrive in isolation, but arose from the numbing ignorance of our iniquity. To honor their sacrifce, let us then examine ourselves, and see what we can do to rectify our personal shortcomings, so that we may avoid the mistakes of the past. Only then can fowers of righteousness bloom once more in this Garden of Graves.

Unearned Moral Valor

— Leo Tolstoy, Three Methods Of Reform

A strange idea has taken hold of our modern minds. Even though a sizable proportion of people believe that morality is subjective, they hold to some idea that, as a modern and scientifc society, we have “made moral progress.” Tis is true to an extent; as a society we shun the ownership of humans as property, and believe that each human has certain rights aforded to them. But to think that moral progress means that we are morally superior to our ancestors is a grave mistake, unearned moral valor if you will. We may not sacrifce infants on iron hot altars in the

vain superstition that it will bring rain, but we sacrifce babies in abortions for a feeting notion of fnancial security. Corruption and abuse of power remains all the same both in antiquity and in our present time. Just as science stands upon the shoulders of giants, so do our moral convictions stand upon the shoulder of abolitionists. Stanley Milgram’s famous experiment with lethal shocks demonstrates how quickly we can stumble into making morally horrifying decisions. When our own life is at stake, we would be surprised at the things we could do to survive. How else then, could “the world’s most civilized and advanced people (Te people of Beethoven, Goethe, Kant) [have] embraced that slime-ball Hitler and participated in the Holocaust?”1

What a question indeed! While Adolf Hitler was certainly responsible for these horrors as the head of the Nazi party, I believe it was the moral cowardice of the German people that enabled him to get away with it. It was the average young man, drafed into the military, who carried out the extermination of the “undesirables,” rather than evil ogres and overlords. To think that it is solely the responsibility of charismatic fascist and communist leaders for these atrocities would be naive. Holocaust survivor Freddie Katz states that “Only a tiny proportion of this century’s mass killings are attributable to the actions of those people we call criminals or crazy people, or societally alienated people, or even people we identify as evil people. Te vast majority of killings were actually carried out by plain folk in the population - ordinary people, like you and me.”

Te stark reality a moral subjectivist admits is that in doing good, we are largely motivated by our self-interest, whether that be our short- or long-term interest. We don’t rob banks, largely because we’re not skilled enough to evade jail time. Some of us virtue signal, doing a good deed for the ulterior motive of appearing good, ofen doing great evil in the process. Take pedophile hunters on social media: many do it for clout or emotional satisfaction, and in the process, make it easier for the pedophile to get away by jeopardizing ongoing police investigation. It is a good instinct to want to be a hero and to see justice done. But to equate having that desire with “being a good person” is stolen moral valor. Jesus calls out this facetiousness in the moral teachers for the lay people of his time: “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.”2 Tus, we must put to rest any idea that we are “a good enough person.”

Weed the Garden, Sow Righteousness -

— Confucius

How might we then “clean our inner parts” so that our moral convictions may not be vain grandstanding? For some, they must frst drop the belief that no moral facts exist. Why? First, there can be no “moral progress” if there is no objective standard we can progress to. Second, if moral facts and duties do not exist, murder and rape are not wrong in any meaningful way that is binding to anyone else but an individual and the people they have power over. Tus, to be intellectually consistent, we have to believe that moral facts exist.

Te next step is to be honest with ourselves. If we do not seriously ponder the great evil we are capable of, we cannot aim to prevent gratuitous evil. Tis is not to be cynical, but to draw attention to the fact that “our ability to act well when the time comes depends partly, perhaps largely, upon the quality of our habitual objects of attention.”3 Why? Te strength and courage to stand up for what is good comes from a deep conviction cultivated by proper attention. When the right moral choice comes at a signifcant personal cost, the person that has not deeply considered their convictions, if any, will not make the right choice. Had more Germans paid attention to their values, they might have stood up to Hitler before it was too late. In other words, to become better people, we need to be careful about what we give our attention to. For Jesus taught that “Your eye is like a lamp that provides light for your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is flled with light. But when your eye is unhealthy, your whole body is flled with darkness. And if the light you think you have is actually darkness, how deep that darkness is!”4

So, what might fxing our attention look like? Te children’s hymn “Be Careful Little Eyes” gives a decent idea through its fve verses which state:

Oh, be careful, little eyes, what you see…

Oh, be careful, little ears, what you hear...

Oh, be careful, little tongue, what you say...

Oh, be careful, little hands, what you do...

Oh, be careful, little feet, where you go...

Tere’s a Father up above looking down in love.

Te low hanging fruit, the most critical but hardest to deal with, is paying attention to what we watch - to what seeds we are planting in our garden, if you will. Te adage “the eye is the window to the soul” encapsulates the point I want to make. One of the easiest ways to gauge our own attention is to check what we’re looking at. When we scroll social media and use our phones, what are we looking at, and for what reason? Are we scrolling endlessly on TikTok and Instagram, mindlessly laughing at memes and funny animal videos? Or are we seeking answers to questions we have, treating the internet like a library of good and bad ideas? Tese questions are a good starting point for investigating our internet feeds to understand our “habitual objects of attention.” We shall reap what we sow: if we are primarily staring at short-form content, we will dull our minds. If we sit through thoughtful commentary on a variety of topics, we prepare our minds for deep discussion.

What we entertain ourselves with also infuences us heavily. How do the movies we watch, the games we play, and the books we (don’t) read depict various aspects of life, ranging from confict to romance? For what purpose do we engage with them? Some bad examples of motivations include sexual gratifcation, running away from responsibilities, and the fulfllment of disordered fantasies. But stories about family, sacrifce, and doing good are worthwhile to enjoy.

Additionally, music, while a form of entertainment, stands out also as a tool which merits separate discussion. It helps express our emotions, and unsurprisingly infuences them as well. Is it a wonder that music is practically everywhere in our ears at the gym or the library? Tus, we should interrogate our use of it more carefully: should we lend our ears to songs full of innuendos? Is the lifestyle glorifed by gangster rap a good model to live life? We may not sing along to these songs in the shower, but they invariably afect our thoughts and worldview as we walk to campus or go to class.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not making the bold claim that it’s bad to listen to popular artists nor am I insulting their production quality: if the production quality was horrible, they wouldn’t be popular! But if music can alter our walking speed, how much more can they afect our subconscious? If we plant carelessly in the soil of our minds, we may fnd ourselves reaping the thorns that tear others apart. “For the one who sows to his own fesh will from the fesh reap corruption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life.”5

Flowers of Character

As we tend our garden of character amidst the faded cemeteries of history, let us be contrite in our self-refection. As the diligent gardener attends to the plants in his garden, let us uproot the thistles which occupy our attention and prune the thorns which blind our eyes to what is good, so that we may stand vigilant against the slow corruption of evil. Afer all, the fght against evil does not begin in distant battlefelds or grand declarations of war, but within our hearts and our daily routines.

Ten perhaps, when the sun breaks through the somber clouds of the Garden of Graves, we shall fnd vibrant red poppies of remembrance saluting the departed.

1 Darwinism and Christianity Redux: A Response to My Critics

2 Matthew 23:25-26

3 Iris Murdoch,

4 Matthew 6:22-23

5 Galatians 6:8 ESV

— Charles H. Spurgeon

Under the Fig Tree

VERSE | CHELSEA EKWEGH

Before my beginning You knew me

A seed sown in darkness, buried by the wages of iniquity.

Knowing the end you plowed through Pierced hands hung from above Your loving kindness, all I ever knew.

With tender mercies and unending love, I was showered with living water

And fooded with warmth

By the one I knew to be the Gardener, Saviour, and only begotten Son.

Te frost melted and spring began to unveil

Yet, I was still a seedling

Bent over and painfully frail

An impatient bud found wanting, Covered in scrawny shoots, Stunted in stature, barely there, possessing little to no roots.

Ten the southern winds broke the song of spring

Budding bulbs and bustling birds all blowing in Lovely lilac lilies lauding over great green olives, Flowering forets firting with buzzing bees.

Summer was here

And in this garden of many colors

I stood, tempted with fear

It was soon the season and though I was yet to bear, My Gardener overfowing with love, nurtured me, always near.

Shimmers of sunshine now heated the soil

My naked branches donned a covering of leaves

A scene causing Te Father to recoil:

His judgment singled me out from the trees.

With streams of righteousness and rolls of justice

An axe lay ready at my root; pushing me into despair.

Fatigued with worry, depression, envy, and malice

I cried on my knees, praying someone would hear

It was then the Savior told me to cast all my care

He pleaded for my soul

So the Father mercifully granted me a year.

Instead of trusting the Son I was too focused on my roots

In this condition, how could I possibly bear fruit?

He pruned and groomed

Ploughed and tilled

Cut and dug

Fertilized and flled

He sent His Gif in Wind and Word

To become one with me

And change my world. Ten it happened miraculously branches once barren carrying frstfruits for all to see

From the beginning, You so loved me

Forever true to Your word

You didn’t leave or forsake me

Tough dust goes to dust and seasons fade

My sights are set on You

So I will say this; without being afraid: Someday, with branches bowed

Under this Fig tree, I’ll see my Gardener, face to face and He’ll be so proud.

IMAGE | JOSHUA CHUNG

His&story & mine

WORDS, IMAGES | OLIVIA HU

A MAN, A WOMAN, AND A GARDEN.

For most of us, these symbols instinctively recall Adam, Eve, and the Garden of Eden. And that’s to be expected: the story is a Sunday school classic, and it’s had an undeniable infuence on culture and art for millennia. It’s a story told so commonly it’s become commonplace; as in, the intrigue and awe of is lost on the general viewer given our familiarity of its symbols. I personally thought I knew the story well, like the back of my hand, but maybe I knew it more like the actual back of my hand — as a shadow or aferimage just outside my conscious memory.

It was more recently, upon returning to the text, that I gained a clearer picture of the story of the Fall. I began noticing how the text unveiled facets of God’s character — His authority, His righteousness, and most strikingly, His gentle kindness. What appears to be a tragedy is really the start of the great biblical story — God’s love letter to us. As I’ve grown deeper in faith, God has used this familiar, well-worn story to write into the chapters of my life — I’d like to share a bit of that with you today.

For the second half of last semester, starting in October 2025, I took an extended leave from campus and returned home due to medical complications. In moving back, I felt abruptly removed from my church community on campus, which was my spiritual home. Te brothers and sisters there encouraged and sharpened me, kept me accountable in faith, allowed me opportunities to serve, and continually inspired me of Christ’s character. While my experience difers greatly, especially in magnitude, from Adam and Eve’s, I could relate to the sense of banishment. Te environment shif was destabilizing, especially in sudden separation from the presence of God, which dwelled so tangibly upon my church community. As I wrestled with both my physical

health and fears about the future, I felt lost. And I wondered, why had God removed me so forcibly from my home, my source of life?

I. I DON’T KNOW WHAT’S GOOD FOR ME

Life was really good on campus. In a way, I’d been building a little Eden of my own: I’d found a church and community I really loved; I was in a happy relationship; I had a car, which granted a sense of unlimited freedom; and my education at Georgia Tech held promising outcomes for my career and future. My life spoke of the wealthy abundance of God’s provision, and I did my best to honor His kindness through service and devotion. Fruitful living and intimacy with God — yes, my personal Eden.

Tis period was not unsimilar to King Solomon’s reign, during which he built the Temple in Jerusalem for the Lord.1 Te temple is understood to represent the garden of Eden, based on symbolic parallels in imagery, ornamentation, and the creation process of both “gardens.”2 King Solomon spent seven years building this temple, pouring in great eforts and wealth for labor costs and precious building materials. However, between the descriptions of the temple’s construction in 1 Kings 6-8, we learn that Solomon was simultaneously building his own palace, to which he devoted double the time (13 years) and many times more wealth and attention. Te house he built for himself was, as a result, far larger and more ornate than the house he built for the Lord.

So I ask: in what areas of my life have I been worshipping myself more than I have been worshipping Him? Te answer grew increasingly clear during my period of strugle at home. My church community had become my source of laughter and joy, far more than the word of God;3 my boyfriend had become my comfort and foundation before prayer and faith; my car

had become a space for selfsh escape where I should have engaged with my brothers and sisters; and my academics had become my pride and security over my identity in Christ. I gave God whatever was lef over, which may have been substantial, but paled in comparison to the devotion I gave myself.

A state of such self-centeredness is a precarious place to be, and can lead to much worse, as with King Solomon: near the end of his life, Solomon turned to idol worship, building temples to foreign gods to please his foreign wives.4 Tis was the wisest man in all of history, the builder of the Lord’s temple, now turned to apostasy. So the Lord stripped the kingdom away from Solomon’s lineage afer his death, resulting in Israel’s Split into the northern and southern kingdoms.5 Solomon, it seemed, had grown too wise in his own eyes, for we know that God “will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and the discernment of the discerning [He] will thwart.” 6

I experienced a similar “dethroning” during that same period, though again, not to the same degree as Solomon’s. It happened rapidly, within a period of two weeks, with a car accident, a break up, and my leave from campus. When those foundational comforts disappeared, it became clear that the “Eden” I’d been experiencing was only a facsimile of the real thing. As gratitude and dependence strayed towards idolatry, God graciously took these things away from me, that I might repent and return to the true foundation and treasure — Him.

I don’t know what’s good for me.

1 1 Kings 6-8

2 Joo, Gene. “The Fall of Solomon.” Exilic Church, 9 Feb. 2025, https://exilic.churchcenter.com/epi sodes/435344

3 Psalm 1:2

4 1 Kings 11:8-9

5 1 Kings 11:31-33

6 1 Corinthians 1:19

II. I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UP!

Let’s return to Adam and Eve and afer the Fall. Te two were cast out of the garden, cursed to a life of toil, and forever barred from the Tree of Life with no hope of reconciliation.

Still, to reduce the Fall to a pure tragedy overlooks a few important takeaways: (1) God is just and perfect. When Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit and disobeyed God, their sin was incompatible with God’s perfection and it drove a wedge between them. Further intimacy with God was no longer possible, and what is death but separation from Him? So the wage of their sin was death,7 and they were cursed to be apart from Him forever.

But, (2) their sin did not hinder His love. Despite the sin that separated them, God continued to love Adam and Eve. Yes, God exiled them from the garden of Eden, but He did so “lest [Adam] reach out his hand and take also of the tree of life and eat, and live forever”.8 He banished them, so they would not live forever in separation from Him: it was and in that God removed Adam and Eve from the garden. And from the moment of separation, He began to work to bring them back.

Tese two truths are also written into my own story. Upon leaving campus, I felt I’d fallen: I was physically weakened and humbled, my consistent academic record was marred with Withdrawals, and the relationships and church that bolstered my faith were suddenly swept away far beyond my reach. But I realized I’d grown entitled to undeserved blessings — “what do you have that you did not receive?” 9 — and these gifs were rightly His to take away. In their absence, He revealed where my foundation stood upon His gifs instead of Him alone. I was able to see the trajectory of my sin and its incompatibility with His perfection, and subsequently repent with more clarity. My time at home wasn’t easy; it was a season of physical resilience, spiritual refnement and quiet solitude. But it was also a time to rest and re-center, which brought much reassurance and warmth in my relationship with Him. It wasn’t banishment; rather, it was a testament to His faithful pursuit of my heart and His prudent protection of my faith. So when I look back, all I see is His love and mercy, all to His glory.

We live in a fallen world. Te reality Adam and Eve lived in afer the Fall was marked by pain,

toil, and futility, with a prescribed ending: “to dust you shall return.” 10 And the cycle of sin and pain has only worsened since then, establishing war, greed, violence, and constant enmity as our new status quo. Sufering, then, is to be expected, as “all who desire to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted, while evil people and impostors will go on from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived.” 11

But there is sufering and there is true evil, and I’ve come to learn that sufering is actually good, as Apostle Paul writes, “sufering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope.” 12,13 In fact, only one “bad” thing has ever happened, and that was the death of Jesus.

ONLY ONE “BAD” THING HAS EVER HAPPENED, AND THAT WAS THE DEATH OF JESUS.

It’s simple yet subversive. Te just punishment for human sin is death, or eternal separation from God. Jesus, who never sinned and hence never lef the intimacy of God, not only chose to die, descending into the pits of Hell, but he also chose to shoulder the burdens of the whole world, paying the wage of death once and for all to save us. Jesus’ death was “bad” because it was wholly undeserved and excruciatingly painful, and yet we celebrate Good Friday because of the hope his resurrection ofers. He rose and overcame death, and through him alone we can be reconciled with God, our frst and most intimate Friend.

Where the world fell and couldn’t get back up, God had been planning from the beginning to save us.

On December 31, I was discharged from

treatment, quite a few weeks earlier than my projected recovery date. My early discharge can be attributed in part to my youth and lack of prior medical complications, but the key difference I observed between myself and other patients wasn’t physical — the diference was hope. Treatment was a mindset battle more than anything else, and a lack of mental fortitude ofen resulted in a longer recovery time. Tere were times when recovery seemed impossibly distant; there were times when I felt I’d never be able to get back up.

But, in His mercy, God planted a hope in me that refused to peter out. I held onto the truth that God had revealed to me: the worst thing has already happened, and in Christ, death overcome. His power is absolute and Jesus’ grace is sufcient for all my weaknesses. 14 Regardless of my physical progress, I knew that all was good, all was well, so long as He was glorifed. And He consoled me, shepherded me, and redeemed me, so that miraculously, I was healed in Jesus’ name.15

Te hope that buoyed me at home morphed into an uncontainable joy as I returned to campus. Each day is one lived out in gratitude, because I know whether I’m here on campus or at home or anywhere else, I’m known and established by an unchanging, everlasting God. As descendants of Adam and Eve, we all live in a state of banishment, which is to say that the Tree of Life, the meaning of life, is nowhere to be found on earth, but only in the hope of reconciling with Him. Isn’t that so freeing? Each day is a bookmark in His story and mine, a chance to admire His workmanship and give all the praise and glory to Him.

To Him:

Blessing and honor and glory and might, forever and ever. 16

Amen.

7 Romans 6:23

8 Genesis 3:22

9 1 Corinthians 4:7

10 Genesis 3:19

11 2 Timothy 3:12

12 Romans 5:3-5

13 but I’ll avoid derailing us here

14 2 Corinthians 12:9

15 Always happy to share more about my testimony!

16 Revelation 5:13-14