THE RULES OF RECIPROCITY

During my interview with Je Cochran, we discussed Robert B. Cialdini’s book Influence: e Psychology of Persuasion, in which he provides examples of this reciprocity in action. 20 In one experiment, Cialdini and his team sent out a large volume of holiday greeting cards to people they didn’t actually know and ended up receiving a large response of return holiday cards.

Even though the card recipients were chosen at random and had no direct connection to the senders, when people received a holiday card, their sense of obligation prompted them to send one in return.

With this in mind, Je encouraged listeners to give value in a way they can leverage:

It’s in knowing the people that we’re dealing with. Sometimes it’s thoughtfulness. Here’s an article that I thought you might be interested in. Here are some free samples of those items that you showed interest in. Whatever it might be to set up that sense of obligation

. . . People do not like to leave their accounts unse led. When you receive, you immediately have an impulse, a human impulse, to give back. at means, not only should you give, but at this stage you can also ask: e best time to tap into that sense of applicant obligation is right a er you’ve given something . . . Anytime we give someone something, they’re right on the cusp of giving something back, so it’s right to ask for it. It is an appropriate dance for it at that point. en your next step is to ensure that you have created a way to receive. Create an avenue for them to give back to you. is is another opportunity to invoke Invite, Delight, Reward—with a call to action or a way for your recipients to show their commitment. If you’re giving but not including a chance for them to give back to you, you’re actually depriving them of additional value.

20 Sco A. Martin, “Je Cochran | Mastering Negotiations & Influence,” September 8, 2019, in Groundswell Origins, podcast, 59:02, h ps://groundswellorigins.com/podcast/je -cochran.

But one warning: if your receiver feels that you are giving in order to get, the silent obligation isn’t created and instead they will put up walls and reject you. How do we prevent this from happening?

By always ensuring that our Give is high value to our audience. In fact, when you are giving something that is painful for you— something you feel like you probably should be charging for— then you know it’s at a good level. is pang is the signal that you’re at the beginning of giving.

Because it truly is be er to give than to receive—even for your audience.

Tapping into the art of Giving, knowing it will likely lead to getting but also releasing the expectation or even the anticipation of it, creates so much freedom for both the giver and receiver. In his book Influence: e Psychology of Persuasion, Cialdini translates the principles of giving and receiving as also being those of persuasion:

• Reciprocity—people are more likely to do something in return of a favor, regardless of the favor done and the ask now presented to them.

• Commitment and Consistency—people who have taken one action are likely to take another, regardless of the size or di erence in action.

• Social Proof—in a state of uncertainty, people look to the actions of others to help them make their own decisions.

• Authority—people look to those in positions of authority to decide which actions to take.

• Liking—people will do business more readily with people and companies they like than with those they don’t like or are indi erent to.

• Scarcity—people will take action when they are worried that they will miss out on the opportunity in the future.

When you leverage the principles of influence and reciprocity by Giving, you optimize the traditional acquisition funnel. You also collapse the time and energy (not to mention the cost) of the entire sales journey through persuasion without pressure.

Focusing on what you can give your audience that will demonstrate your value and values changes the funnel from a push to get into a pull with give, inviting connection and building trust with the very people you wish to serve.

In other words, the key to ge ing is to be a giving human. Give is the new get. oughtful generosity activates a boomerang e ect of reciprocity that can transform incredible gi s into exceptional results. So give, give, give—and don’t give up. You’re well on your way to generating your Groundswell. is is the primer to ge ing the momentum you need to start ge ing results.