Embracing Relational Teaching Sample

©2025 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

© 2025 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

This work is copyright. Apart from fair dealings for the purposes of study, research, criticism or review, or as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968 (Cth), no part should be reproduced, transmitted, communicated or recorded, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.

PO Box 3160 Mentone East, Victoria 3194, Australia Phone: (03) 8686 9077 Website: www.grifteducation.com Email: orders@grifteducation.com Code: SOT8449 ISBN: 9781923198449 Printed in Australia

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Originally published in 2022 by Solution Tree Press

Acknowledgments T

o my wife and two boys: Without your inspiration, patience, and grace, this book would not be possible. You three are everything to me.

To my editors: Thank you for your feedback and support, which always make my writing better.

To my fellow educators: I invite you to stop striving toward someone else’s version of successful teaching. Teach your students with your voice, your feelings, your sweat, and your care. Don’t teach soulless lessons. Insert nuance into your classroom and give your students space to let their personalities show through.

Finally, this book is dedicated to students whose voices are not heard, whose thinking is dismissed, and whose identities are ignored. May there be a change in our schools that places your well-being at the center of teaching, valuing your humanity above anything else and giving you the freedom to become the people you want to be.

As always, thank you to Solution Tree for their continued support of my ideas.

Solution Tree Press would like to thank the following reviewers: Courtney Burdick Apprenticeship Mentor Teacher Fort Smith Public Schools Fort Smith, Arkansas Doug Crowley Assistant Principal DeForest Area High School DeForest, Wisconsin

©2025 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

To my friend, Juice: Thank you for helping me distinguish between working hard and just “jackin’ around.”

John D. Ewald Education Consultant Former Superintendent, Principal, and Teacher Frederick, Maryland Dana Johansen Middle School Teacher Greenwich Academy Greenwich, Connecticut

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Jennifer Renegar Data and Assessment Specialist Republic School District Republic, Missouri

Dawn Vang Reading Specialist White Oaks Elementary School Virginia Beach, Virginia

Darcy Tweedy Educator Cordova Elementary School Phoenix, Arizona

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Table of Contents Reproducibles are in italics.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xi

DOING THE INVISIBLE WORK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .1 Schools Can Do Better for Society . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 2 A Relational Approach to Teaching and Learning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 3 Make Teaching More Than a Mechanical-Transactional Experience . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 Shift the Responsibility for Learning to Students . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 Respect Students’ Life Experiences . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 5 Have Better Metrics for Learning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 Pay Attention to Unspoken School-Culture Messages . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6 Make Student Agency and Efficacy a Goal of Education . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7 Teach With Students . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7 Outcomes of a Relational Approach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .7 About This Book . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 8 Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

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PREFACE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . xiii

PART ONE FOUNDATIONAL PRINCIPLES OF RELATIONAL TEACHING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 11

RELATIONSHIPS AS THE FOUNDATION FOR EFFECTIVE PEDAGOGY . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 13 Foundational Understandings of Relational Pedagogy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14 Core Components of Relational Pedagogy. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .14

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Show Students That You Care About Them . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 15 Allow Students to Create Meaning for Themselves and Be the Subjects of Their Learning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Uncover Students’ Stories . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16 Foster a Sense of Belonging in Your Classroom . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 17 Generate Dialogue Between You and Students and Among Students . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Develop Relationship-Focused Assessment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18 Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19

Definition and Attributes of the Relational Teacher . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21 Reflective. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 22 Collaborative . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 25 Involved . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 28 Modeler of Learning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 31 Interpersonal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 35 Adaptable . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 40 Humble . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 42 Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 43 Muscles and Tussles Chart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 45 Metacognition Journal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 46 Reflection Chart for Students Who Struggle . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .47 Long-Term Goals, Short-Term Goals, and Immediate Projects . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 48 Post-Assessment Student Reflection Chart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 49 Lesson Quality Check . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 51 Lesson-Planning Tool . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 53 Growth-Focused Teacher Self-Assessment Tool . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .54 Content-Focused Versus Relationship-Focused Lesson . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 55 Teacher Checklist to Create Student-Can-Do Learning Experiences . . . . . . . . . . . . . 56 Goals and Values Alignment Chart . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 58

PART TWO RELATIONAL PRACTICES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 61

THE RELATIONAL CURRICULUM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63 Definition of and Actions for Developing a Relational Curriculum . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 63

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THE RELATIONAL TEACHER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 21

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Define Standards Using the Dictionary Definition . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 64 Organize the Curricular Hierarchy Based on the Composition of Communication . 69 Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 75

RELATIONAL INSTRUCTION . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 77 Definition of and Strategies for Implementing Relational Instruction . . . . . . . . . . . .77 Encourage Learning Through Observation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79 Avoid Transactional Instructional Models . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 79 Offer Relentless Welcome and Deep Care . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 81 Embrace Learning Tensions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82 Guard Against Illusions of Learning . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 83 Include Student Voice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 85 Respect Student Individuality and Autonomy . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 86 Promote More Dialogue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 88 Encourage Reflection in the Moment . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 89 Use Feedback Moments as Instruction . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 Teach With Life Situations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 91 Let Students Do First Before You Teach . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 92 Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 93 Student-Does-First Lesson-Planning Template . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 96

RELATIONAL ASSESSMENT . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99 Definition and Attributes of Relational Assessment. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 99 Include Self-Appraisal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 101 Seek Perspectives First, Not Answers . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .102

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Be Student Centric . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 82

Include Intentional Reflective Pauses . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .105 Embrace Learning Profiles Instead of Outcomes . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .106 Find Context for Deficiencies . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 107 Promote Self-Regulation . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .108 Are Conversational and Stimulate Dialogue . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111 Are Co-Constructive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 111 Have Negotiable Success Criteria . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 112 Promote Student Voice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113 Strategies to Create Relational Assessments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 113 Move Beyond Recall . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 115 Capture Patterns in Student Thinking . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 117

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Have Students Perform in a Variety of Contexts . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 118 Include Assessment Items That Help Students Examine Their Learning Decisions . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .120 Include Assessment Items That Promote Instructional Change . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 121 Include Assessment Items That Stimulate Reflection . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .122 Potential Outcomes of Relational Assessments . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .122 Accurate Competency Awareness . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .123 Self-Confidence . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .124 Help-Seeking Behaviors. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .124 Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .125 How to Capture Student Outcomes and Thinking Through Assessment . . . . . . . . . . . 126 Creating More Personalized Reflection Activities . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 127

Definition and Attributes of Relational Feedback . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .129 Non-Evaluative . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .130 Mentoring . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 131 Develops a Self-Enabling Inner Voice . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .132 Cultivates Responsibility . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .132 Conversational and Reciprocal . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 133 Plain-Spoken . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 133 Prescriptive . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 135 Collaborative . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 136 Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 138 Conversational and Reciprocal Feedback . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 139 Creating Prescriptive Feedback . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 141

RELATIONAL RUBRICS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 143 Definition and Attributes of Relational Rubrics . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .143 Proficiency Focused . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .145 Reciprocal and Conversational . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .146 Goal Oriented . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 147 Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 147

RELATIONAL GRADING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 149 Definition of and Strategies for Implementing Relational Grading . . . . . . . . . . . . . .149

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RELATIONAL FEEDBACK . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 129

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Award Grades After Conversations With Students . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .150 Ensure the Gradebook Tells the Student’s Learning Story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 151 Consider Everything as an Event . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 157 Don’t Shift Expectations . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 158 Use Students’ Self-Appraisal Evidence for More Accurate Grades . . . . . . . . . . . . 159 Conclusion . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .160 Creating Gradebooks That Tell a Learning Story . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 161

EPILOGUE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 163 REFERENCES AND RESOURCES . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 165

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INDEX . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 187

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About the Author

In 2010, Anthony was recognized by the state of Illinois as Outstanding New Educator; and in 2011, the Illinois Computing Educators named him Technology Educator of the Year. He is also the founder and editor of The Assessor magazine, an annual publication that showcases articles that teachers submit to discuss the realities of their practice.

Anthony earned a bachelor’s degree in Spanish from Indiana University and master’s degrees (one in curriculum and instruction and one in educational leadership) from Roosevelt University. He is currently pursuing his doctoral degree in educational leadership at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign.

To learn more about Anthony’s work, visit www.assessormag.com or www .ebgschools.com, or follow him @areibel on Twitter.

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Anthony R. Reibel is former assistant principal for teaching and learning and the current director of research and evaluation at Adlai E. Stevenson High School in Illinois.

He administers assessments, manages student achievement data, and oversees instruction, grading, and assessment practices. Anthony began his professional career as a technology specialist and entrepreneur. After a few years, he became a Spanish teacher at Stevenson, where he has also served as a curricular team leader, core team leader, coach, and club sponsor.

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Preface I

As I ponder these questions, many memories come to mind about when I was, or felt, hugged. One memory was in the early part of my teaching career.

A fellow educator started to take an interest in my rapport with students. He was a talented and respected veteran teacher, known for his classroom culture of respect and rapport. We met often during our free periods to share how we tried to connect with students on a more personal level both inside and outside the classroom. During these exchanges, whenever I shared my ideas, his attention always remained intensely focused on me—as if he were examining the contours of every word I spoke. It felt as if he cast a spell on the world that stopped time, allowing us to have the space to deeply explore our ideas. When this teacher stopped time, he gave me the impression that I mattered, that what I shared was important to him. It was if he had fused his presence with mine in such a way that I could feel him listening to me.

What I experienced in these exchanges is something I wanted my students to experience—I wanted to stop time. I wanted to show them that I cared about them as people more than I cared about my lessons. I wanted to let them know that their viewpoints and life experiences were worthy of respect, and that their inner emotional experiences were important to explore.

©2025 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

’ve been thinking about this question lately: “Could I describe a hug if someone asked?” Could I describe its purpose? Its sensations? Could I articulate its associated emotions? Are hugs small moments or significant moments of affection? Do you need to physically embrace to feel hugged?

So, I stopped time.

The idea of stopping time to connect with students appears in many books, including Ratchetdemic by Christopher Emdin (2021). In his book, Emdin states, “Children need validation from the adults in their lives to develop a sense of self-worth” (p. 28). I wholeheartedly agree. Children are yearning for people to stop time and notice them, hear them, love them, and validate their experiences. It is how they make sense of the world.

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This book contains strategies and practices that can help you stop time in your classroom—to implement a more caring and relational pedagogy that can engender feelings of safety, connection, and worth in your students. These strategies might help you unlock the pedagogical potential of students’ words, actions, and moments of self-expression.

Finally, as you read this book, I hope you feel hugged—hugged for the work you do for students that often goes unseen, unacknowledged, and unappreciated.

©2025 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

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Satisfactory personal relationships are a prerequisite for learning.

—DANIEL CHAMBLISS

T

ake a moment and picture yourself teaching. What comes to mind? Is it a favorite instructional activity, a student’s inspiring speech, or a moment when a student shared something insightful about their learning? Whatever it is, let those images and thoughts linger for a moment.

Now, I want you to visualize your teaching again; but this time, visualize the invisible teaching you do—the actions that no one can directly see, yet are as valuable to student learning as any observable practice. These invisible teaching practices might include your sincere curiosity about students’ lives, the sense of support you feel when you see a student struggling, an empathetic mindset you use to plan a lesson, or a facial expression you give to a student to show that they matter.

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DOING THE INVISIBLE WORK

While those images surface, I will say this—much of our value as educators comes from invisible actions, the actions that no one can necessarily see but students can feel. These actions can sometimes be the difference between whether a student sees school as a rewarding place that respects their individuality or a place that dismisses their identity—denying the full expression of their culture, values, and personality.

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In her book The Poet X, author Elizabeth Acevedo (2018) writes about her school experience as a young girl. She reflects on the beginning of a school year when she meets her new teacher for the first time and says, “I have a feeling Ms. Galiano actually wants to know my answer” (p. 38). I believe this statement represents a feeling for many students—they want to be heard and respected for who they are, not for who their school wants them to be (Turner, 2012).

It is time to undo this mindset and create schooling that prioritizes humanity, a system in which educators nurture student well-being more than the unit plan and develop compassion alongside the curriculum. We need to augment the relational aspects of our policies and practices in schools—practices that help students learn how to accept themselves, maintain relationships, and selfsustain in the larger world.

Schools Can Do Better for Society Since 2012, I have had the opportunity to work in school districts across the United States on pedagogy reform. On each trip, I meet talented and passionate educators who care about their students and move mountains to help them to succeed. This fills my heart. However, at the same time, I hear frustrations from these same teachers like the following.

• “I can’t do [that student-focused practice] because my district has us giving assessments every two weeks, and I need to get students ready for them. Those scores go into my evaluation.”

• “[This practice] would be meaningful, but it takes too much time, and I have to get through all these state standards.”

• “The state says we have to teach all these standards, but there are too many to possibly get through in a year. So my school leadership has us pick the essential ones, but how do I know which are essential?”

• “Students are kids, and kids don’t have the expertise that I do, so even though I want to get to know them better as people, they first

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There seems to be a mindset in education that there is simply not enough time to get to know students. Perhaps this mindset is the result of a collective consciousness of the educational system that creates a type of pedagogical inertia, reminding teachers year after year that content and testing matter more than students. For example, teachers must get through the required curriculum so students can do well on the district or state (or province) exams.

INTRODUCTION

must learn the content. If we have time, then I’ll ask them what they think about [the learning]. Otherwise, the tests will have to tell me everything I need to know.”

When I hear these kinds of comments, I feel frustrated because it signals that students “never genuinely engage in the development of self” (Bandura, 1977, p. 146).

A Relational Approach to Teaching and Learning At its core, education is a human experience—an experience with infinite combinations of emotions, thoughts, abilities, and knowledge. However, the education system does not seem to be built around the idea of human experience. It seems to be built around the idea of human utility—developing students’ capacities to contribute to the gross domestic product (Deresiewicz, 2015). If educators are not aware, they might continue to build lessons in which utility is the goal and a more passive style of learning is the norm.

One way is for schools to consider a more relational approach to teaching and learning. We are conscious beings with an inherent drive not only for information and meaning, but also for connection (Cole, 2018). Vivek H. Murthy (2020), the twenty-first surgeon general of the United States, states, “It is in our relationships that we find emotional substance and power we need in order to thrive” (p. 51). Yet I continue to visit schools across the United States that sacrifice authentic and sincere relationships with their students for the rote development of skills and short-term application of knowledge.

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Herein lies the problem. Students may find themselves in a school that knowingly, or unknowingly, communicates that achievement and knowledge are more important than them; almost as though they’re saying to their students, “We’ll care about you after we finish getting ready for the SAT.” Students can feel this, which can cause them to be confused about their teachers’ intentions and their school’s sincerity (Coyle, 2018). They can feel devalued and isolated, with perhaps a distorted sense of self-worth (Emdin, 2016). So, how can schools, and society, do better?

To emphasize my point, the late Paulo Freire (2000), renowned educator and philosopher, states in his book Pedagogy of Freedom, “To transform the experience of educating into a matter of technique impoverishes a fundamentally human experience, namely, [its] capacity to form a human person” (p. 39).

Such a reductive transformation might look like this: “Here is how you solve this mathematics problem. [Shows steps]. Now you try it.”

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To minimize the negative effects of such a reduction, teachers can incorporate relational practices that value each student’s identity. Relational teaching methods not only focus on the how of learning, but also the who. For example, a relational teacher might say, “These problems can be tricky, and it’s OK to be stuck here. Can you tell me what you think the next step is?” This keeps their focus on the learner, not just the learning.

We must protect students’ right to be human before protecting a curriculum, assessment, or grading policy. To help you achieve this goal, I present the following seven actions you can take to implement more relational policies and practices.

2. Shift the responsibility for learning to students.

3. Respect students’ life experiences.

4. Have better metrics for learning.

5. Pay attention to unspoken school-culture messages.

6. Make student agency and efficacy a goal of education.

7. Teach with students.

The scope of each action is broader and more nuanced than I have time to cover in this chapter. However, in the following sections, I attempt to briefly introduce the more salient aspects of each action.

Make Teaching More Than a Mechanical-Transactional Experience I invite you to ask yourself, “Do I want to deliver lessons in which the primary goal is to know content and develop rote technical skills?” or “Do I want to provide lessons that help students gain the confidence and habits they need to sustain themselves throughout their lives?”

As you wrestle with these questions, it is important to remember that teaching is not just about teachers making a difference in students’ lives; rather, it is primarily about teachers helping students learn how to make a difference in their own lives. In other words, teachers can be more influential in students’ lives by helping them become independent thinkers and learners. Therefore, I challenge all teachers to see themselves not as, for example, a mathematics teacher, art teacher, or English teacher, but as a teacher who uses mathematics, art, or

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1. Make teaching more than a mechanical-transactional experience.

INTRODUCTION

English content and context to create confident, self-defining, self-governing human beings.

To help you think about how you might achieve such a paradigm shift, I propose the following three general instructional tenets. Help students learn how to: 1. Create their competency 2. Verify the validity of their competency 3. Believe in their ability to maintain their competency

Shift the Responsibility for Learning to Students Making a change toward a relational teaching approach means shifting the responsibility of learning to the student (Bandura, 1997; Schimmer, Hillman, & Stalets, 2018). Learning is the student’s responsibility, while teachers are responsible for the conditions of learning. Think of a gardener. A gardener prunes, waters, and tends to the plant, providing all the conditions for growth.

If the conditions are right, the plant is primed to grow and thrive. Similar are teachers, who nurture and provide the conditions for student growth.

Research about student responsibility in learning is vast, with some research citing that lack of responsibility can impede student growth and arrest socialemotional development (Brown, Roediger, & McDaniel, 2014; Lang, 2021).

Other studies show that a lack of agency in children’s development could have compounding effects contributing to many social issues, such as poverty (Bandura, 1997; Zimmerman, Schunk, & DiBenedetto, 2015) or violent crime (Hill, 2020). The point is, when we shift responsibility for learning to students, we allow them to claim the authorship of their learning and ultimately, their lives (Giroux, 2020).

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I will discuss these tenets, along with a relational lesson structure, in more detail later in the book, specifically chapter 5 (page 99).

Respect Students’ Life Experiences If we connect the learning in the classroom and the living students are doing outside the classroom, students may find more meaning in their time at school and potentially be willing to take more ownership of their growth (Darder, 2014). This means that if a teacher pays attention to the lives students are leading outside of school and attempts to connect to those lives during their instruction, their lessons might be more relevant to students. Emdin (2016)

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argues a similar point: “I came to realize [that] . . . I could go directly to the students’ [lives] and simply work to make connections between [their lives] and the content I was charged to [teach]” (p. 143).

Have Better Metrics for Learning

David M. Levy, technologist and professor in the Information School at the University of Washington, states that as teachers, “we are being measured and evaluated all the time on things that don’t have to deal with what I think is central to human values, like our ability to be human beings with one another” (as cited in Felten & Lambert, 2020, p. 80). The absence of these hard-to-measure metrics can leave many schools ignoring basic humanism when creating lessons, evaluating progress, and building school culture. If we can focus on measuring more humanistic measures, like strength of relationships and levels of support in students’ social networks, perhaps we would be more likely to help students learn how to transform their learning and life trajectories (Espinoza, 2011).

Pay Attention to Unspoken School-Culture Messages Using the conventional measures of GPA, state (or province) rankings, or AP scores could leave the advertised school culture in conflict with the actual culture (Muhammad & Cruz, 2019). For example, a high school district may publicize a balanced education for all its students but at the same time, celebrate achievement by overfocusing on high SAT and AP scores in their community newsletter. Or its staff may use these metrics as they review student learning.

Both of these practices can implicitly signal to students that achievement matters above anything else and press students to take on more and be someone they may not want to be, which can weigh on students’ psyche and even drain them physically (Emdin, 2021). For example, students may think they have to “shoulder a heavy load of Advanced Placement (AP) courses” because it’s expected (Hibbs & Rostain, 2019, p. 15).

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If we are serious about the pursuit of relational pedagogy, then it is important to consider better measurements of student success. Many schools still use grade point averages (GPA), letter grades, and state (or province) scores as barometers of student success and overlook more humanistic measurements, such as relationship quality, grit, and self-reliant behaviors because they are difficult to calculate and analyze.

INTRODUCTION

Make Student Agency and Efficacy a Goal of Education

Teach With Students Although teachers have more experience and expertise than their students, it doesn’t mean students don’t have any of their own. When we teach with students, we create meaning and knowledge from their minds and lives. Learning is an emergent concept, resulting from the interdependent collaboration and productive discourse between teachers and students—not from transactional exchanges of knowledge (Brown et al., 2014). Students know when their teacher is not respecting their inherent wisdom; when this happens, they may become disinterested or disengaged (Emdin, 2021).

Outcomes of a Relational Approach In my school district, you can find a commitment to these seven relational teaching actions in our Portrait of a Graduate (see figure I.1, page 8). This portrait reminds us that our purpose is to nurture strong relationships so students can develop a sense of community and become self-defining adults who lead meaningful lives.

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It is documented that the higher one’s efficacy and agency, the more robust the motivation, confidence, and drive to learn (Bandura, 2011; Dunlop, Beatty, & Beauchamp, 2011). Same with the converse—the lower one’s agency, the more apathy and indifference one might have toward learning (Anderson et al., 2019). Both agency and efficacy have been shown to correlate to many health and wellness benefits such as healthy actions and choices, increased effort, perseverance, ability to handle adversity, healthy thought patterns, and lower stress or depression (Bandura, 1997; Hattie, 2015; Zimmerman et al., 2015).

Efficacy and agency have many causal connections to successful learning, such as increased feedback acceptance, more meaningful self-reflection, and more accurate self-assessment (Hattie, 2012). Even with the corpus of research, efficacy and agency are often seen as traits students will develop after primary and secondary education.

Further, this portrait guides us in the development of our policies and practices and reminds us that we are all human beings who long to connect, learn, and self-actualize.

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