Substitute Teaching? Sample

© 2024 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

© 2024 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

This work is copyright. Apart from fair dealings for the purposes of study, research, criticism or review, or as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968 (Cth), no part should be reproduced, transmitted, communicated or recorded, in any form or by any means, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.

PO Box 3160 Mentone East, Victoria 3194, Australia Phone: (03) 8686 9077 Website: www.grifteducation.com Email: orders@grifteducation.com Code: PMB8234 ISBN: 9781923198234 Printed in Australia

© 2024 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

Originally published in 2016 by Pembroke Publishers

Contents Introduction

7

Chapter 1: Toolkit for Substitute Teaching

9

Chapter 2: A Typical Day Substitute Teaching: An Oxymoron 21 Before Students Arrive 21 Finding the School 21 Finding the Classroom 21 Being Flexible 21 Finding the Day Plans—or Not 22 Last-Minute Preparation 23 With Students 23 Enter the Students 23 Self-Introduction and Attendance 23 Classroom Routines 23 Doing the Work the Teacher Left 24 Yard/Hall/Lunchroom Duty 25 Dismissal 25 Chapter 3: Substitute Teaching Kindergarten

27

Help! The Kindergarten Kids Are Eating Me! 27 What Kindergarten Students Are Like 27 Physically 27 Socially 28

© 2024 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

The First Ten Minutes: Getting Their Attention 9 Bag of Tools for Keeping Their Attention (and Staying Sane) 10 Incentives/Rewards 11 Games 12 Magic 12 Jokes (in Case You’re Not Funny) 13 Gross Facts 13 Scary Stories that Won’t Cause Nightmares 13 Funny Stories 14 All About You 14 Classroom Management, NOT Babysitting 15 Attendance 15 Students Who Make You Earn Your Pay 15 Please, Stop Talking! 16 There’s No Playing Tag Inside 16 Getting Students to Do Their Work 17 Recess Problems—Not Your Problem 18 To Call or Not to Call—the Office 18 Finding Your Own Style 19

Academically 29 How to Teach Kindergarten Well 29 Kindergarten Day Plan and Lessons 31 Extra Activities and Games 37 Chapter 4: Substitute Teaching Primary Grades 43

Chapter 5: Substitute Teaching Junior Grades 71 Grade 4: They Can Finally Tie Their Shoelaces 71 What Grade 4 Students Are Like 71 How to Teach Grade 4 Well 72 Grade 5: They’re So Nice 73 What Grade 5 Students Are Like 73 How to Teach Grade 5 Well 74 Grade 6: Spring Fever! 75 What Grade 6 Students Are Like 75 How to Teach Grade 6 Well 76 Junior Day Plan and Lessons 77 Extra Activities and Games 86 Grade 4 86 Grade 5 86 Grade 6 87 Chapter 6: Substitute Teaching Intermediate Grades 101 Grade 7: Kids and Hormones 101 What Grade 7 Students Are Like 101 How to Teach Grade 7 Well 102 Grade 8: King of the Hill 103 What Grade 8 Students Are Like 103 How to Teach Grade 8 Well 104 Intermediate Day Plan and Lessons 105 Extra Activities and Games 111 Grade 7 111 Grade 8 112

© 2024 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

Grade 1: Can I Hold Your Hand? 43 What Grade 1 Students Are Like 43 How to Teach Grade 1 Well 45 Grade 2: I’m Not Your Friend! 46 What Grade 2 Students Are Like 46 How to Teach Grade 2 Well 48 Grade 3: That’s Not Fair! 48 What Grade 3 Students Are Like 48 How to Teach Grade 3 Well 49 Primary Day Plan and Lessons 50 Extra Activities and Games 57 Grade 1 58 Grade 2 58 Grade 3 59

Chapter 7: Substitute Teaching Beyond the Three Rs 127

Chapter 8: On the Way to the Job You Want

145

When No Schools are Calling 145 One Day Turns into Two… 146 Covering a Maternity/Sick Leave 147 How to Get a Permanent Job by Making Everyone Happy Make the Students Happy 149 Make the Absent Teacher Happy 149 Make the Other Teachers Happy 150 Make the Vice-Principal and Principal Happy 150 Make the School Secretaries Happy 150 Make Yourself Happy 151 Is This What My Career Is Supposed to Look Like? 151 Advantages to Substitute Teaching 152 No Paperwork 152 Flexibility 152 Exploration 153 The Hours 153 The Pay 153 Easy Days 153 Acknowledgments 155 Recommended Resources 156 Index 157

149

129

© 2024 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

French: Parlez-Vous Francais? Non? 127 Tips for Teaching French 127 Lesson Plan 127 Physical Education: Don’t Hit Him in the Head with the Ball!

Tips for Teaching Phys Ed 130 Lesson Plan 130 Music: Please Don’t Make Me Sing! 132 Tips for Teaching Music 132 Lesson Plan 133 Dance: Jump, Jump Around! 134 Tips for Teaching Dance 134 Lesson Plan 134 Drama: Haven’t I Had Enough Drama Today? 136 Tips for Teaching Drama 136 Lesson Plan 137 Art: No, You Can’t Use the Scissors to Cut Your Hair! 138 Tips for Teaching Art 138 Lesson Plan 138 Other Subjects/Classes: I’m Teaching What?! 139 Special Education 140 History 141 Geography 141 Social Studies 141 English as a Second Language 141 Computers 141 Library 142 Language, Math, Science 142

Introduction

Substitute teaching can be a great job where both you and the students really enjoy the day and look forward to the next time you can be together. Of course, some days it seems like you are simply surviving. Or barely surviving (I think I need some chocolate!). This can be especially true when you first start substitute teaching, because it is very different from being a permanent teacher. You need to be excellent at classroom management, without the benefit of having an ongoing relationship with the students and without the benefit of being able to enforce consequences. Students know you will not be marking their work or writing their report cards, calling their parents, or—heaven forbid—moving their desks away from their friends!

Despite these difficulties, you do not have to simply survive the days. You can make it fun—get silly or get the kids laughing. They also will give you plenty of stories to keep you and your friends amused and entertained! Students can have fun while they learn. You can have a fulfilling career. Your attitude and your approach make all the difference. It takes practice and you will get better at it as you work on it. But you can have really successful days from the moment you decide to have fun.

Substitute teaching can be simple. You don’t have to carry around a big bag of supplies, or have half a dozen premade lesson plans, or take copious amounts of notes. It doesn’t have to be difficult or take up a lot of your time before or after school. A few items in your bag and an emergency plan for when the teacher is unable to leave a day plan is all you need. This is one of the great things about substitute teaching—it is neither as complicated nor as much work as a permanent teaching job. It is pretty simple: you go to school about 15 minutes before it starts and leave about 15 minutes after it ends. No fuss, no muss, no planning, no meetings, no headaches because you’re in the room beside instrumental music all year!

Admittedly, there are things that are difficult in substitute teaching. But these things can be made simple. Having strategies in place to handle students who won’t do their work or who won’t listen makes things a lot easier.

You got into teaching because you wanted to make a difference in kids’ lives, right? You wanted to make a difference in the world. You wanted to help kids know who they are and who they want to be. You wanted to encourage them to

6 

Grift Education • 9781923198234 • PMB8234

be their best and help them learn and overcome difficulties. And just maybe you wanted to be like that teacher who really affected your life.

This can seem difficult when you see different students every day. But you can still make a difference—a big difference—in students’ lives. In the past, students have seen bad substitute teachers. How do you think we got the reputation we have? Those teachers yelled—a lot—and didn’t care about the students. Students can tell if someone cares about them or not. When you go in and you actually care, it makes a difference. You have a whole day to influence the students. It is stressful for students to have a substitute teacher, and you can make their day better by being a great one—or just one who doesn’t completely suck! When you have fun and help students learn, it makes a huge difference in their day. You never know—something you say to encourage them might be the thing they needed that day, or that year. It might be the thing they will remember years from now as a turning point in their lives. You just don’t know what effect you have.

This book answers the questions: How do I teach students and enjoy it? (Isn’t that what we all want? Besides winning the lottery, I mean.) How do I deal with typical problems; e.g., when all 20 Grade 1 students need the bathroom at the same time? What do I need to take with me in my bag and in my attitude? What should I expect—the good, the bad. and the ugly—and what should I do about it?

Just in case you were trained in primary grades and you are substituting for a Grade 8 teacher (or vice-versa), there are tips on teaching students from Kindergarten to Grade 8, including what the average student is like physically, socially, and academically. Also included are complete day plans in case the teacher was called away on an emergency, along with reproducible pages and extra activities.

If you find you are teaching one subject for all or part of a day (e.g., Music or Physical Education), there are lesson plans that can be used with all grades for a variety of subjects.

And finally, there is help with ideas about how to have the job you want— whether that’s being a career substitute teacher or a permanent teacher—or simply to enjoy the job you have. And how to do that before going broke.

Whether you are a new graduate and want all the help you can get, a retired teacher making the transition from having your own classroom to teaching in a different classroom every day, a career substitute teacher looking to steal some good ideas, or a permanent teacher looking for emergency lesson plans to leave in case you are ever called away without time to plan for the substitute, this book offers help. And (hopefully) a few laughs to go with it.

Grift Education • 9781923198234 • PMB8234

 7

1 Toolkit for Substitute Teaching

The First Ten Minutes: Getting Their Attention Substitute teaching is fun. At least, it can be fun! It can also be the absolute worst job ever. Of course, you want to make it as much fun as possible. How do you do that? It’s all about the first ten minutes. The first ten minutes pretty much sets the tone for the rest of the class or the rest of the day. It’s important to get the kids on your side right away. Then, the rest of the day is a lot easier and more enjoyable.

You want to build a good relationship with the students as fast as possible. This is what they respond to—seeing you as a real person and being treated like real people. When you tell them about yourself, when you tell a good story, it helps build that relationship. When you start with a great first ten minutes, you are quickly building a good relationship so that they will want to listen to you. They will want to do what you ask. By handing out incentives and telling gross stories, you get the students on your side. Many substitute teachers yell in the first ten minutes of the day. This sets an adversarial tone—which the students love to take advantage of. You know, it’s fun to try to get the substitute teacher mad enough not to come back! This is what you should try to avoid.

We’ve all had days of substitute teaching where the kids didn’t tell us their own names, sat in someone else’s seat, changed the time on the clock, set off a stink

8 

Grift Education • 9781923198234 • PMB8234

© 2024 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

Robin Williams, as Peter Pan in the movie Hook, uses “Chemistry Substitute Teacher” as an insult. This is funny because, in part, it is true! In the past, substitute teachers have had a bad reputation; however, our generation of substitute teachers is able to change this. By being excellent substitute teachers, by having a positive and creative attitude, and by the way we talk about our profession, we can change the perception of the profession of substitute teaching. It is time!

First, we need to be excellent. We need to do our job so that students enjoy their day and learn. Next, we need to talk about our profession with respect, so that others do too. We need to let people know that we have an excellent profession in which we get to make a difference in the lives of many children, helping them when their teacher is away. It’s time to give ourselves the respect we deserve and to expect it from others. It’s time to change the cultural norm around the noble profession of substitute teaching.

The way you deal with chatty (or rebellious) students is another make or break point; see page 16.

Of course, you can have a great first ten minutes and then have the tone change part way through the day.

Students are often more difficult to handle in the afternoon, after going to the store and buying sugar for lunch.

Bears don’t go to the bathroom during the winter. They sleep, right? Actually, they do go to the bathroom during the winter. But the poop just stays inside them and forms a kind of plug inside their bottoms called a fecal plug! That’s why they’re so angry in the spring—not only are they hungry, but also a bit constipated. That’s not the gross fact though. The gross fact is that bear cubs (baby bears) also go to the bathroom during the winter. However, they don’t go on the cave floor because it would get dirty and they could get sick. Does anyone have a guess what happens to the bear cubs’ poop?

I allow students to guess the answer, giving hints along the way. I give an incentive (e.g., a sticker or candy) to the student who answers correctly.

Answer: The mother bear licks it off them and eats it.

This gross fact is one of the ways I get students quiet, listening to me, and on my side.

Bag of Tools for Keeping Their Attention (and Staying Sane) Humor can be there in your bag of tools. But even if you don’t really have a sense of humor (of course, everyone thinks they have a sense of humor, so I’m sure you do too) you can still get the kids to like you.

Every substitute teacher needs a bag of tools. The more tools you have, the better chance you have of having fun and getting work done, no matter how challenging the students are. My favorite tools include incentives; gross, funny, and scary stories; and magic tricks. When one tool doesn’t work, you just pull out another one. I save the hammer over the head for the end, after I threaten no more incentives for the day (this almost always works).

Grift Education • 9781923198234 • PMB8234

 9

© 2024 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

bomb in the class, wouldn’t listen at all, and in general were plain bad. (Oh, sorry.

The kids were not bad; their behavior was bad. I am, of course, not making a moral judgment about the students themselves.) You know, the days when you really have to control yourself to keep from just losing it. Instead, I do something to get them on my side, like tell a ghost story or a gross fact. I find the students quiet down and are more likely to work quietly after I’m done, especially if I say I will tell another one when everyone finishes their work!

When students first enter the classroom, I give incentives to the first couple of students who sit down quietly. I loudly announce I have given an incentive to these students because they sat down quickly and quietly and soon all students are sitting down quietly.

This is when I give my speech. I introduce myself. I point out my name written on the board to avoid the question, “What is your name again?” for the one-hundredth time that day (not that this always works) and tell them I am an excellent substitute teacher. I tell students that I give out incentives, tell gross, scary, and funny stories, and that I rarely raise my voice. Then I ask if they want to hear a gross fact.

Incentives/Rewards Edible

Non-Edible

In primary classes you can give out stickers instead of candy. This is particularly good for children with ADHD, as sugar does not usually help them focus! In junior and intermediate classes, I sometimes give out sticky notes with Get out of trouble free written on them. Then, if that student gets in trouble, they can give me their sticky and they are not in trouble anymore. Of course, I make sure they understand that the sticky note works only with me and not with other teachers.

Stickers, pencils, and temporary tattoos also work for little kids. Fake teeth, eyes, fake spiders, fake poo, or anything gross works for older kids; these are a bit more expensive, so you have to make qualifying for them more difficult so you hand out fewer.

Free Time

Not all students want a sticker or a get out of trouble free card. But all students want free time! This is probably the most commonly used incentive among substitute teachers. Many teachers put a number on the board—for example, 10— and tell students that is how many minutes of free time they have at the end of the period. If students are noisy, the number is dropped to 9. If students are quiet, the number can be raised to 11. You need to have a stop watch to make sure you give them the exact number of minutes you said you would or it won’t work the next time you see that class.

10 

Grift Education • 9781923198234 • PMB8234

© 2024 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

I buy candy at the discount store and I only buy the packages that cost a dollar for about thirty candies. It’s definitely worth the money. I also make sure I only buy candies I don’t like so that I don’t eat them.

You might not want to, or may not be allowed to, hand out candy. There are other effective tools and incentives you can use—this is just the most fun one! You know, children’s love is for sale. You can buy it with sugar. You can be a pretty bad substitute teacher and, if you give them candy, they will love you.

When handing out candy, first and foremost, you need to make sure you buy candy that is peanut-free. This means making sure it doesn’t have May have come into contact with nuts or nut products or May contain traces of nuts on the package. I also recommend gelatin-free candy: gelatin is a meat byproduct, so children who can’t eat meat (or pork) for any reason can’t eat candy with gelatin.

I often tell the students that they are allowed to eat the candy right away (some of them are going to try to eat it anyway). I make sure to tell them that the first time I see a candy wrapper on the floor I will stop handing out candy. Then when I do see a wrapper on the floor, I say, “I’m sure I don’t see a wrapper on the floor because then I wouldn’t be handing out any more candy.” I keep going on and on about it until someone picks it up.

I do not give out candy to every kid—except maybe in Kindergarten, but I find in Kindergarten it is not needed. I give candy only to those who do what they are asked to do. Sometimes I hand out only two candies a day, or none; sometimes ten candies a class. I make sure the kids know that I am not going to be “fair” and hand one out to everyone. Why would they do what I want if they’re going to get one anyway? I tell them, “You can get two or three candies if you answer the questions, do your work, etc.” After a short while, the kids know that the first one sitting or finished gets a candy, so they sit quickly and get their work done quickly.

I also sometimes give out candy if I see a student taking positive initiative; e.g., cleaning up without prompting or helping someone without being asked.

You can be more vague if you want more flexibility, telling students when they are chatty that perhaps they will not get free time at the end of the period. I find that it is best to try to give free time at the end of each period instead of just at the end of the day. The end of the day sometimes seems just too far away to worry about!

Games Students love games. Intermediate students sometimes try to act too cool to like games but, when you find a good game, these students are the most competitive of all! If you have already given free time once or twice, you can try using the incentive of a game. Even classic games like hot potato and charades can be really exciting for primary and junior students. There is an Internet full of games, not to mention numerous books. However, I find the best way to find a good game is to ask another teacher.

Magic tricks are a great tool. I highly recommend learning a handful of them and practicing. All kids like candies and all kids like magic. Here are a couple of tricks I use; you can look up the rest online.

Where’s the Coin

For a video on how to do the Where’s the Coin trick, check out amandayuill.com

This is a sleight-of-hand trick that can be perfected with a bit of practice. The goal is to make it look like the coin is in one hand when it is actually in the other.

• Hold a small coin (a penny or dime) between your thumb and index finger so the audience can see the picture on the coin, with your palm facing up.

• Bring your other hand in front of the coin as though to take it from the first hand into the second. But instead of taking the coin, drop it from your fingers to the palm of the hand the coin is already in (see diagram in margin). The audience will not see the coin drop because your other hand is blocking their view.

• Pretend to take the coin with the second hand.

• Close both palms and turn your hands over and ask students to guess where the coin is.

Disappearing Coin

For a video on how to do the Disappearing Coin trick, check out amandayuill.com

A second—and better—trick is making the coin disappear. This trick is a huge favorite with kids!

• Put one hand up to your ear; with the other hand, rub a coin against your elbow (see diagram in margin).

• Drop the coin and pick it up with the hand that was up against your ear.

Transfer it to the other hand and continue rubbing it on your elbow with one hand against your ear.

• Drop it again; pick it up and continue rubbing it on your elbow.

• Drop it a third time; this time, only pretend to transfer the coin from one hand to the other. Pretend to rub the coin on your elbow. As you put the hand with the coin in it to your ear, place the coin in your ear.

• Show students both empty hands. Have them guess where the coin is and then show them it’s in your ear.

Grift Education • 9781923198234 • PMB8234

 11

© 2024 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

Magic

How to Freak Out Your Mom

I tell students I’m going to show them a way to freak out their mom!

• Hold up one hand.

• With all the other fingers up, let the ring finger fall down. Push it back a bit.

• Flick the end of your ring finger up and down (see diagram in margin). Do this very fast and it looks kind of cool!

• Tell the kids to do it and tell their moms they broke their finger in class today.

For a video on how to do the How to Freak Out Your Mom trick, check out amandayuill.com

Jokes (in Case You’re Not Funny) Here’s a knock-knock joke that kills in primary grades.

Gross Facts You can get these gross facts from the Internet or from books, such as the Uncle John Bathroom Reader series.

• A mother tiger shark has lots of babies in her womb but only one is born because the strongest baby shark eats the rest in her womb.

• In South America they found a cave with piles of cockroaches. The cockroaches never leave the cave. They eat bat feces.

• A hippo mom feeds her baby milk, but it is not white. It is pink.

Scary Stories that Won’t Cause Nightmares Students love ghost stories. I try to tell ones that are more freaky or funny than scary, as some students do get bad dreams from scary stories. Here’s my favorite: My dad moved to Toronto about fifty years ago. He used to work for the Toronto Transit Commission, fixing buses. He worked night shift from 11 p.m. to 6 a.m. One night, his boss let him go early at 4 a.m. He decided to walk home instead of taking the bus so he could get to know Toronto a bit better. Unfortunately, after he started walking, it started getting foggy and he lost his way.

He stopped at a donut store for a coffee and a donut and spoke with the man behind the counter, who turned out to be the owner of the store. My dad told the owner that he had lost his way and mentioned where he lived.

The owner didn’t know where it was, but the customer sitting next to my

12 

Grift Education • 9781923198234 • PMB8234

© 2024 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

A: Knock, knock.

B: Who’s there?

A: Banana.

B: Banana who?

A: Knock, knock.

B: Who’s there?

A: Banana.

B: Banana who?

A: Knock, knock.

B: Who’s there?

A: Orange.

B: Orange who?

A: Orange you glad I didn’t say banana again?

Funny Stories It’s best if you use funny stories from your own life, but any funny story will do.

Here’s one of mine: When I first moved to Japan to teach English, I didn’t know any Japanese so I would study new words every day. One day I studied adjectives. That night I was on the bus, sitting near the back and reading a book. They turned off all the lights at the back of the bus but left on the lights at the front. I wanted to move forward so I could keep reading and I also wanted to let the lady sitting beside me know why I was moving. I had learned the word for “dark” that day so I could say to her, “It’s dark, isn’t it?” I said this to her and moved forward. The next day as I was reading over my words, I realized I’d used the wrong adjective. I hadn’t said to her, “It’s dark, isn’t it?” I had said, “You’re dirty, aren’t you?”

I also called my boss “Mr. Shrimp” by mistake. He was shorter than me.

All About You The students want to know about you. Are you married? Do you have kids? Have you travelled? Do you have hobbies? Anything you tell them, they will be interested, especially if you have some funny stories or interesting anecdotes (and

Grift Education • 9781923198234 • PMB8234

 13

© 2024 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

dad did. He said he was going to take the streetcar home and that my dad’s apartment was on the way. He’d tell my dad where to get off the streetcar to get home. They finished eating and headed out for the streetcar. However, as my dad was walking towards the streetcar, he got a strange feeling that he didn’t want to take the streetcar. He asked the man if he could get home by following the streetcar tracks. The man told him to turn right when he got to McDonalds and his apartment building would be right there. My dad thanked the man, who got on the streetcar and waved good-bye.

My dad followed the streetcar tracks and turned right at McDonalds.

However, his apartment building wasn’t there—the man had given him wrong directions. He did recognize the area, so he decided to walk around a bit until he found his apartment. It took him an hour and he got home at 6 a.m. He slept until noon and got up and read the newspaper. On the front was a picture of the man who gave him the wrong directions. It said he had been missing for three days. My dad thought about calling the police to tell them he’d seen that man the night before, but he wasn’t sure it was the same man. He decided to go back to the donut store to ask the owner if he also thought it was the same person. If the owner agreed that it was the same person, my dad would call the police.

My dad found McDonalds and headed up the same street. He found the donut store but it was all boarded up!! He went next door to the fish-andchips shop and asked the girl behind the counter why they had boarded up the store that morning. The lady told him that there had been a fire three days before. The owner had died in the fire, and they had boarded up the store that very day. My dad was pretty freaked out, so he asked her what time the next streetcar came so he could get home. The lady asked him what he was talking about—there was no streetcar on that street! Sure enough, he went outside and there were no streetcar tracks on that road.

especially if it means they aren’t doing work during the time you’re talking about yourself).

Classroom Management, NOT Babysitting Substitute teaching is 1000 times harder than babysitting, and so substitute teachers deserve 1000 times the wage of babysitters, which is currently more than $5 per hour!

At least 80 per cent of substitute teaching is behavior management, which is why substitute teachers sometimes have the reputation of being babysitters. But this is not true, and anyone who has tried substitute teaching knows it. Behavior management is one of the biggest and most challenging parts of the job, so here are a few tips.

Attendance

Students Who Make You Earn Your Pay It’s useful to find out who usually gives the substitute teacher problems. When the secretary or vice-principal is showing me the way to the classroom, I sometimes ask if there are any students I should be aware of. Actually, I usually find out by asking the students in class, “Whose name should I know in this class?” They all point to the same one or two students—who are usually pointing to themselves!

Start out by asking these students to help; this can prevent a lot of unwanted behavior. Ask them to take the attendance to the office, to tell you where certain supplies are, or to be first in line to lead you to the library.

If a “problem student” gets out of control during the day, I ask him/her to take a note to the office that says, Please look at this and say “Thank you” and send this student back; this student just needed a walk. I will sometimes ask a student to get a drink of water and go to the bathroom and then come back. If the student tells me he/she doesn’t need a drink of water or to go to the bathroom, I tell the student that this is his/her chance to have a bit of a break and then to come back and change how they are behaving.

14 

Grift Education • 9781923198234 • PMB8234

© 2024 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

It is a mistake to try to take attendance right away. Students in Grade 4 and higher will switch names and desks. I let them sit wherever they want and tell them that if they get in trouble, I’ll move them. I don’t say, “Hey, everyone, sit where you want”—but when the tattletale tells me someone’s not sitting where he or she is supposed to, I don’t make them move. Of course, if someone wants to sit in their own desk and someone else is sitting there, I make that person move. All this to say, the students will definitely try to give you the wrong name. Which is why I tell jokes and gross stories and hand out candies first. Students are less likely to lie to someone who has made them laugh and given them candy.

If I still think many of them will give me the wrong names, I give the task of taking attendance to the quiet kid in the front row. If I’m going to be at that school for a few days, I memorize the students’ names. Whatever the student tells me their name is, that’s what I call them (within reason, of course; I don’t call anyone Fartman, for example). But I review the names every so often. When I’m near the quiet girl in the front row, I pretend to forget some of the names; i.e., the names of the students I think gave me the wrong names. I ask the quiet kid, “What is that student’s name again?” The kid tells me the right one. When I start calling the students by their actual names, they usually just answer back, forgetting they told me another name.

Please, Stop Talking!

First, you’re supposed to look around to see if the teacher is looking and, if she isn’t, you can talk. But I was totally looking, so what are you doing? And it’s no good to have your hand up to your mouth to whisper to the person beside you, because I can still totally tell you’re talking. If you don’t want me to know, you have to wait until I’m not looking and then don’t use your hand—it’s a total giveaway.

There’s No Playing Tag Inside Touching is sometimes a problem. Some students seem to get a kick out of touching each other in not-nice ways. This can lead to two kids running around the classroom—and that’s guaranteed to be when the vice-principal looks in the classroom window! To stop this, I tell students that there is no hugging in class and that if they want to hug, they can do it at recess. This gets a laugh and the kids stop chasing each other.

Sometimes when students are chasing each other around the classroom, it is a cue that they need a movement break. You can see when a class, especially a primary class, is getting antsy, so I have students stand up and do 5 jumping jacks, 5 hops on one foot, 5 hops on the other foot, 5 spins, 5 sit-ups, 5 seconds running on the spot, etc.—anything to get them moving a bit. After doing this for up to five minutes, I have students sit down and then I continue with my lesson. This often helps students focus more easily and get more work done with less fooling around.

Grift Education • 9781923198234 • PMB8234

 15

© 2024 Grift Education. All rights reserved.

I have seen substitute teachers use a whistle to get kids to stop talking. Or you could always try yelling, clapping hands, turning lights off and on, and threatening to call the office. None of these work very well if overused. Of course, handing out incentives or candy is my favorite way of getting students to be quiet. But when students are already strung out on sugar overload after lunch, there are other ways to do it.

Humor is the best (i.e., most fun) way to get quiet. When you call for quiet, most of the students will eventually quiet down (give them thirty seconds to one minute). There will be only a few students who are still talking. If it is a junior or intermediate class, I usually say, “I’m totally cool and a great teacher and I look great today, so of course you want to spend more time with me. I know you want to spend more time with me after school/during recess today, but you don’t have to talk to do it. You can just say, ‘Ms. Yuill, I really want to spend time with you at recess/after school’, and I’ll let you.” This usually gets them laughing and stops everybody but the one from talking.

You know the one: the class clown who is out to get a reaction from you, preferably that you get angry and give the student the power. When a kid is talking and his/her back is to me, I stand right behind that student, put my face close to the back of his/her head, smile a cheesy smile, and say nothing. The other kids start to laugh and so the talker turns around to find my face is really close—the kid jumps back, which makes everyone laugh more. The one will usually laugh and pay attention for all of 20 seconds before talking again. At which point, I just sit on that student’s desk to continue teaching.

If the one is facing me, I ask, “What are you doing? Because I can totally see you talking.” I explain: