C O M P I L E D B Y G R E Y C O O P E R B A C K B R E A K W O R K I N G G R O U P QUEER EXPERIENCES INDANCE: MTL 2 0 2 2
This is a zine by BackBreak working group, to express the expereinces of some queer dancers in Montreal. It does Not represent all experiences, or all scenes. We would like to give a disclaimer upfront that we struggled to get as many interviews as initally wanted, and as such this limits the format more than we originally hoped.There is an unintentional focus on partner dancing as a result. However, this is an exploration of some queer experience in Montreal and about relationships between expression and identity. While the interviews in this zine were partly conducted to give space to show what dancers would like to see change, it is also an expression queer experiences in dance as they currently are. Questions did vary based on how much time was available and what the interviewee wanted to answer. BackBreak is committed to giving space and media to express minority issues in dance cultures in Montreal. It is a working group of QPIRG McGill and is always looking for new members. Interviewees answers have only been edited for clarity and formatting.
T H A N K Y O U F O R Y O U R T I M E A N D A N S W E R S Izzie Chloe Anonymous Ella Dan
W H A T I S T H I S Z I N E ?
Is there anything about the scene that lets you express being queer in a way that other things don't?
I've always found cat's corner a really fun, welcoming, environment where I'm able to feel safe while dancing.
Dance(s): swing If partner dancing is part of the dance scenes you're in, what aspects of dancing with someone else connected to being queer for you?
I Z Z I E
In terms of partner dancing, dancing with other women [in swing] is a way of expressing my queerness.
I also find leading a fun way of expressing my queerness in dance. Are there scenes that make you feel more or less comfy being openly queer?
I have been part of salsa, bachata, hustle, hiphop and currently kizomba, brazilian zouk
I think I discovered my sensuality through salsa and bachata. It was not something I was as comfortable with before and these styles taught me how to play with it and accept it. Hustle and hiphop have a very communicative energy, their fun, strong and vibrant, and I liked the playfulness of the two.
Dance(s):
what drew you to those initially?
I stumbled upon salsa, bachata and hustle because a friend of mine was the director of McGill Salseros and invited me to MC for the Winter Carnival, in which many different dance styles were gathered for a night of workshop and socials. I then discovered kizomba and brazilian zouk through making friends in the social dance community. I was surprised by the freedom and the improvisation within these dances. Hiphop came in my life through a hustler friend, and we just found choreographies we liked and would reproduce them together. The energy and strength emanating from that style was what drew me in. What about the scenes did you enjoy the most?
C H L O E
Salsa and bachata are not inclusive enough, they talk about 'boys' and 'girls' instead of 'leads' and 'follows'. I've had men try to separate me from a friend when I tried to lead her, under the pretext that 'we were reducing the number of follows available'... It revolts me ! Something that you also see on the dancefloor are the few follow men getting rejected by other lead men. There is a lot to work on there. For hustle I think it sometimes get too competitive. You can hear people saying 'Work it, work it !' as you dance, and although it can be encouraging, I think that it can also discourage some peeps.
C H L O E ( C O N T D ) Hustle is also more fluid, I started leading with this style and that really opened me to what felt a whole new universe, and social dancing had a new meaning to it. Kizomba and brazilian zouk on their end feel spiritual in a sense, it's the type of dances where you close your eyes and follow the energy of your partner rather than the beat. They're much more intimate and bring you to a meditative like state. It took me time to dive into it, but once you find that connection, it's hard to go back to other styles of dances. Flip side, what would you change that would make you feel more comfortable or happy in a dance space?
C H L O E ( C O N T D )
For kizomba and bzouk, I'd say I'd like people to learn how to bring someone close slowly. There are unfortunately some 'grinders' in the midst of the other lovely dancers, and I feel that it's important to slowly bring someone close to you to gauge the level of comfort of the other dancer, as most follows have unfortunately had at least one bad experience of these creeps and as a result may not be comfortable with abrupt closeness. If partner dancing is part of the dance scenes you're in, what's important to you about that? Are there aspects of dancing with someone else that connect to being queer for you? For partner dancing in general, I love to meet people through movement, it feels like speaking to their more authentic self. I love to call dancing the "language of no lies", and having discussions with that medium is very soothing and honest. As I've mentioned above, I found fluidity in hustle when I started leading. It almost felt like coming out as bisexual again: I only knew one side of the world when I conformed to the codes of salsa and bachata and only followed, and I discovered another side once I met an acceptant crowd of hustlers and learned that you could like both! Since then I've tried to lead and follow in all the other dances I've practiced, and it's so joyful !
C H L O E ( E N D ) I also find that we give very gendered styling to each of the role. Redefining that styling and redefining the connection you establish with your partner is a constant effort and a personal journey: I used to try and be 'strong' and 'assertive' while leading. Although clarity and a minimum energy is required to convey to your follow the next move, it doesn't necessarily mean you can't be soft and delicate. Being lead by a more 'feminine' energy has been a wonderful experience, and I'm trying to infuse that into my leading (despite the fact that I can be a bit more of a firey dancer at times)
What abt the dance scenes politics and vibe you're in would you like to change if you could?
No assigned gender partner roles. No ideas of questioning me leading or following, etc. Also a good thing is no sexualisation of the dance (ex: hustle not being sexualised vs, say, bachata). Bachata was so much fun but most guys I danced with it felt like they were trying to find something and it was very aggressively het and sexualised.
A N O N Dance(s): Hustle, Hip hop, bachata
Sometimes, dance scenes (since mine are niche and not too big) are regulated by one or two people in charge who take on a figurehead status whether you want to or not. It annoys me that this makes the scene less approachable and more conditional to you and those specific people having a rapport. Is there anything about the dance styles you do currently that makes you feel more comfortable about being queer that other styles don't?
If partner dancing is part of the dance scenes you're in, what's important to you about that?
A N O N ( E N D )
I like dancing, I like dancing with people, and I like the freestyle/improvisation vibe of it, as opposed to choreo
It's a good place to fuck with gender roles and to get comfortable with different roles, which vibes with me, a bisexual switch genderfluid idiot.
Is there anything about streetdance that lets you express being queer in a way that other things don't?
E L L A
I’ve always loved dancing and dance classes, so when my friends invite me to try a new type of dance I’m always on board. Especially hustle, because I never even heard of it before! What about the scenes did you enjoy the most?
I find it inspiring how hard dancers work to build a community and continue to pass their knowledge down to others. Ballet is very traditional so it has to fight to stay relevant and not just die out or get stuck in the past. On the other hand, Hustle has a small community, so dancers quickly become teachers. Two dancers taught hustle in the basement of a mcgill building for super cheap, which exposed me to the scene. But people even act as teachers by being welcoming to beginners and showing them new things. It’s amazing how everyone is so invested in keeping their art alive!
Dance(s): Ballet, hustle, and swing and salsa once What drew you to those initially?
E L L A ( C O N T D )
It’s fun to switch up whether you are leading or following and exploring the way they each make you feel. In the media, the dancing roles can be pretty binary in relation to gender, so it is nice to explore the different energies that these roles can have. Leading makes me feel like a sexy lesbian ish badass in a way ballet tutus just can't. Also being lead by some powerful confident women is a fun & flustering experience. It is also just really nice to connect with different people with different genders, sexualities, expressions and backgrounds through dancing it makes you feel like you’re a part of something!
Flip side, what would you change that would make you feel more comfortable or happy in a dance space?
Ballet needs to stop requiring skin tight uniforms. If partner dancing is part of the dance scenes you're in, what's important to you about that? Are there aspects of dancing with someone else that connect to being queer for you?
E L L A ( E N D )
Improvisational artforms like hustle are also great for figuring out who you are because you can experiment with what feels good on your particular body. And your partner and the steps you learn just create a really nice safe little set of parameters to do that in.
Dance is a physical way to connect with other people. Not just through partner dancing and literally touching, but just having someone watch you move or making eye contact with someone is so different than other art forms. So I think it really helps me figure out how I want to feel in my body, how I want others to see me, and what I want my presence in a room to mean. And for me, that’s pretty connected to being queer. Is there anything else you want to say about dance scenes that effect you?
Is there anything about the scene that lets you express being queer in a way that other things don't? Is there anything about dance that lets you express being queer in a way other things don't?
D A N Dance(s): swing [distanciaswing], salsa at McGill, What did you like about the dances you've done? What made you come back to the outdoor sessions near the Home Depot [distanciaswing]?
Salsa was a long time ago, so I don't think you can count that.[...] I remember that when we went to the session at Home Depot I was amazed by the way it was set up. I remember trying to find it on Google Maps, and technically there is an address that you can generally walk into. But I remember walking into this lovely space in the middle of a parking lot surrounded by light, like an idealised past. I always enjoyed jazz even though I don't think I'm knowledgeable enough to distinguish that much, I really enjoyed the music itself. So to me it was really lovely to see this experience of listening to something that I really liked, which then had this other dimension where people would be able to dance these sophisticated, but at the same time spontaneous, dances with it. I remember I was looking at it and I really wanted to try it, and it's. Pretty hard. That's the second thing that I remember. It turned out it was harder than what I'm used to, or if not harder it had a different rythym, and the ethos is a bit different from whatever it is that I used to dance.
D A N ( C O N T D )
Because I'm from Mexico and raised as a male, which I think matters; and most people in Mexico are taught to dance something like salsa by their mothers. So it was a funny way to taking to that again, of entering that cultural tradition of dancing. I had lost dancing like that, because parties here don't have the same kind of dancing that was in Mexico. And I remember you [interviewer] said that a way to learn is to ask people to dance, and that kind of freaked me out. But I felt it was very inclusive. I was able to dance with some guys, some girls, and people in-between. But I think that that's the point that it didn't really matter how you identify as, and how the other people identify as. You just ask them, as opposed to it being a more traditional setting. Did you feel a difference in inclusiveness in a studio space vs. the outdoor [distanciaswing] when you took classes? The nature of the parking lot dances was to me, very obviously, so mixed. It doesn't matter who you identify as. Anyone can just ask [to dance]. [...] But the cat's corner one - and I don't think it's by design, and I don't think that anyone would, complain, or point if you broke [conventions], but [...]
I don't think anyone is trying to hold you under normative theory or anything. But it also means that it doesn't have the same inviting feeling. And there was a lot of outwardly looking straight couples. Swing and salsa, at least, are both partner dances. Is there anything that you find that more appealing about partner versus dancing by yourself?
I've never really danced dances that are solo. Culturally growing up it was always a social dance and again, I'm used to that. Even when I decided that I wanted to try the outdoor [cat's corner] studio session, I hadn't really considered being on my own. [...] And at least when you're dancing with someone else, that other person's experience, they can guide you. And it felt like you had some expereince, by osmosis. Is there anything about dance that feels like it connects to, or that you express being queer in a way that other things don't allow?
D A N ( C O N T D )
usually the ones I went to seemed like it's usually couples. It felt like everyone went with that specific person, and you only stay with a specific person. So in that sense, it's not that it's not inviting. It's just sort of bringing whatever you feel comfortable with.[...]
I was a bit intimidated by learning it on my own, I wish I could have done it like you, of being able to ask enough people to dance that I will [have learnt to dance], but I struggle with the shyness that is involved. [...] But, I feel that that is the way to go without spending that much.
D A N ( C O N T D )
A sort of emobodied practice that externalised an understanding I had of myself which had not had that chance to be actualised. And so the fact that I was able to dance with someone who would take the more traditional guiding part, as opposed to being the guiding part becasue I usually was [before] was very liberating.
The thing about dance is that it - and this is partner dances right - come from a very normative background. So there are roles of what the traditional male and female are doing. What I think swing did for me is exploring that aspect of finding new roles, in a way that was different.
I think dance has got that going for it which many other things don't, but of course dance doesn't exist in a vaccum.
I wish I had done more of it, for sure. My partner and I wish we had done more, we wanted to do more of studio classes, a formal approach to it, but it gets expensive.
You were exposed to swing because of me, but, including the example of salsa, there are infinite partner dances that exist. Is there anything that drew you towards swing in particlar? The music is something that I particularly like. In salsa obviously there's not a script, there's a bunch of spontaneous ideas that are combining, go with the rhythm to create some interaction that is spontaneoulsy negotiated between people. I feel like in swing its a bit more palpable. Like when you see people bouncing, and how everyone is doing different things, its so beautiful. Where I feel that, from what I remember, salsa is a bit more standardised. Is there anything in the scenes you've been to that made you uncomfortable that you would change if you could? I didn't feel anything, no. I was pretty happy.
And I mean in our student econonmy its tough, I don't find myself able to do more than a couple of hobbies at a time. So if I am a film photographer that is a monthly expense, if I want to do bouldering that is a subscription, but it seemed a bit out the budget.
D A N ( E N D )
G R E Y
Dance(s): hustle, swing, locking In compiling these interviews, I thought that I wouldn't have much to say myself, but through interviewing others about their experiences, that has changed. I have only answered questions that I myself posed to other interviewees. what drew you to those dances initially? What drew me to dance initially was a wish to continue to be active, after leaving my highschool sports, and friends that made the classes and community fun and welcoming. I started from hustle, and have been curious about other dances since then, experimenting with other styles to see what feels right. what would you change that would make you feel more comfortable or happy in a dance space? Changes I would apply I think relate more to swing/older dances than most younger street dance. I'm asked about my gender a lot in ways that are unfriendly and feel invasive - while I'm aware a certain amount of that comes from being openly trans, and I don't mind some of it, it can be exhausting. Being visibly trans is simply a part of my existence, and while I can talk about it, it's also very personal and I shouldn't be required to endlessly.
If partner dancing is part of the scenes you're in, what's important to you about that? I love the feeling of connecting with someone else through dance, and the community built around that. There are people who I've never talked to much but I've danced with a lot who I consider friends because of that, and I love that that's possible. I also like the sense of a partner dance being an unspoken conversation. Are there aspects of dancing with someone else that connect to being queer for you?
Dance has been a way that I've connected to liking my body more and figuring out aesthetics that I like when I'm moving, which for me is not completely a queer thing, but isn't not, either. It's also made me feel like I have more autonomy over my body, regardless of leading or following, which has helped a lot. For me there's a certain amount of dysphoria that comes especially with men objectifying me.
G R E Y ( C O N T D )
Partner dancing has led to me working on maintaining my autonomy over how I express myself even when I'm following, which is when men have been the most handsy, has helped me be comfortable in my body. It's also made me a lot more confident about how I express my boundaries.
G R E Y ( E N D ) While neither of those are perhaps explicitly queer, they do feel very connected to me. Lastly, the community and amount of support in the dances I do, especially hustle and locking, have allowed me to feel comfortable both compiling this zine, and exploring my queerness fairly publicly, and I'm forever really grateful to that.