What Are We Saying to Girls? A Mother’s Perspective
|by Mandy Emedi
I remember my high school English teacher, during one of his “life lesson” tangents, giving this simple, yet sage advice: “If you have nothing to say, you can always talk about the weather.” The weather is a relatively benign subject, one that served me well in idle waiting-inline-at-the-grocery-store chitchat. At least until I had children. It seems it’s hard for most folks to resist talking to a cute kid…and nearly impossible to pass up a sweet duo of four-year old twin girls. I try to relish this time, as I know my girls won’t always be pint-sized and full of magnetic, youthful energy. And the vast majority of the time, the idle chitchat is just that. There are times, though, when it’s anything but benign… At four years old, my girls have amazing
ears and insightful eyes. They are keenly aware of everything going on around them. And I feel passionately protective of their tender hearts. I may overthink it, but I fear too many, “You’ve got your hands full!” comments might make the girls question one day if they’re a burden. Could the “Better you than me!” tossed out jokingly make the girls wonder if I, too, might rather be doing something else? I’ve heard a lot of comments in the past four years, but a recent trip to the grocery with one of my daughters yielded one of the worst exchanges yet. We were waiting in the checkout line and started chatting with a nice grandmother behind us. She was super sweet, and she engaged my daughter right away. I love for the girls to practice their conversation skills, and it helped keep her little hands away from the ginormous candy display. 53