TURNTOPAGES 10-12 TOFIND THISSEASON'S TOPHOLIDAY POP-UPBARS
UPFRONT
Photo by Mark Puente
GETTING A SINGLE PARKING TICKET IN LORAIN LED HUNDREDS TO LOSE THEIR DRIVER’S LICENSES
FOR YEARS, HUNDREDS OF CAR owners had their driver’s licenses suspended in Lorain for minor tickets like parking too far from a curb.
Now, Lorain Mayor Jack Bradley has paused the ticket-writing practice, and a municipal court judge began dismissing cases last Tuesday.
The action comes days after The Marshall Project – Cleveland began asking about the thousands of parking violations issued in Lorain neighborhoods.
At issue are the parking tickets and who’s been writing them. In Lorain, the city allowed auxiliary officers — who don’t hold police powers — to target parking violators with criminal summonses for minor infractions such as parking more than a foot from a curb or on a lawn.
The parking citations and license suspensions that followed have cost Lorain residents and others thousands of dollars in court fines and state license reinstatement fees, a Marshall Project – Cleveland investigation has found.
“There have been issues with these parking tickets,” Elwell told Burns. “It is being dismissed. You are free to go. Have a good day.”
Elwell declined to answer questions from The Marshall Project – Cleveland about the ticket-writing practice and the flood of suspensions.
Lorain resident Mary Haviland, 48, received a parking ticket in August. She said she did not know about her license suspension until The Marshall Project – Cleveland called her in mid-November. She said she was never notified by the court. Haviland planned to pay $75 for fines and fees this week to get her license back.
“This saves me a whole lot of money,” Haviland said Monday about the dropping of cases. “This costs people a lot of money that they don’t have. It is a tough time right now.”
While most large Ohio cities issue only token fines, in recent years, Lorain Municipal Court judges ordered almost 600 license suspensions from parking tickets, according to court records. That’s on top of the fines that can range from $50 to $100.
The citations also often required car owners to stand before a judge in a packed courtroom as if they had committed theft, disorderly conduct or driving while intoxicated.
Attorneys with The Legal Aid Society of Cleveland said The Marshall Project –Cleveland’s reporting shines a light on what it calls “unlawful license suspensions” that can impact housing eligibility, employment opportunities and financial stability for some people.
they only placed them on the car windshield. Failing was not aware of problems with the citations until The Marshall Project – Cleveland showed him during an interview.
“That would be a valid claim for them to dismiss the ticket,” Failing said.
The policy dates back to 2008, when the Lorain City Council passed an ordinance authorizing the Police Department’s auxiliary unit to issue handicap parking citations.
Auxiliary officers are often used for traffic assignments, court security and helping with crowd control at parades and festivals.
The ordinance also criminalized all parking infractions, making them minor misdemeanors.
A 2019 ordinance update raised parking fines to $50 if paid within 72 hours, and $100 if paid after 72 hours. The legislation also stated that people who did not pay within 72 hours should be notified by certified mail and ordered to appear in court. But that practice was not happening, and vehicle owners were not notified, court records show.
Other cities give parking violators time to pay the civil infractions. In Cleveland, violators have 15 days to either pay the fine or dispute the ticket. Failure to pay or dispute the ticket will result in an additional $10 penalty, records show.
The Lorain ordinance was tweaked again in November 2024 when the City Council gave the auxiliary unit the expanded power to write citations for all parking violations. Since that time, 1,155 citations were issued, and judges ordered 303 license suspensions, court records show.
Bradley, a longtime defense attorney, said he opted to pause the program after meeting on Monday with the city’s law director and police chief. He said he has concerns about the volume of suspensions and the financial toll on people, especially those who don’t even know their licenses are suspended.
The city needs to “fully evaluate the program to make sure it is following the law fairly for our citizens,” he said.
The news outlet reviewed thousands of parking cases, spent hours in court, and talked to more than 25 people about their citations and suspensions.
In some cases, people were ordered to appear in Lorain Municipal Court within days of being cited for receiving a parking violation. For those who didn’t come to court, suspension orders soon followed, records show.
During a court session Tuesday morning, Judge Thomas Elwell kept a large crowd waiting about two hours to have their cases called. Those with parking tickets left the courtroom with their cases dismissed.
One case involved Bonnie Burns, 71, who limped to the front of the courtroom with a cane after Elwell called her parking case.
“Unfortunately, individuals impacted by these judgments will likely need to file motions with the court to vacate their convictions and suspensions, and to have fines and fees refunded,” Jennifer Kinsley Smith, managing attorney of the organization’s office in Lorain County, wrote in a statement.
In the coming weeks, the organization will post information on its website to help people who were ticketed. Individuals seeking help can also call The Legal Aid Society at 888-817-3777.
Lorain is one of the 10 biggest cities in Ohio. But The Marshall Project – Cleveland found the city is the only one that suspends driver’s licenses for a single unpaid parking violation.
None of the other large cities requires violators to appear for criminal arraignments in court. Each city classifies the tickets as civil infractions.
Lorain Police Chief Michael Failing said individuals should not have a license suspension over a parking ticket.
“I’m not sure how the courts can correct that, but obviously that’s something I cannot correct,” said Failing, who became chief in September. “That’s a court problem.”
When auxiliary officers sign the tickets, the citations state that they personally gave the tickets to the violators — when in reality,
Deliana Perez of Lorain received a ticket in October and paid the $50 fine. But, she said, properly enforcing city laws is needed to build trust between the community and police.
“This is amazing news,” Perez said about dismissing tickets. “I am so happy.”
Judge Mark Mihok said he did not know the ordinance required letters to be sent to violators. He said the Lorain Clerk of Courts should have sent the letters, but a clerk’s employee said they were never instructed to send letters.
Mihok said he will order the clerk of courts to issue refunds to people who request it. Elwell’s bailiff said the judge is waiting for guidance from the Law Department on refunds.
Mihok said he has felt pressure from the Lorain City Council and the mayor’s office to get money, especially after the state legislature passed a new law aimed at helping people with debt-related suspensions.
He called traffic and parking tickets “a moneymaker, so we enforce tickets.” Mihok said state lawmakers never lumped parking tickets into the new law.
“We were all worried that if we can’t do anything, collections are gonna go way down, which they, in fact, are,” Mihok said. “Our conclusion was the state didn’t amend that section and that we can still do it.”
– Mark Puente, The Marshall Project – Cleveland
UPFRONT
AFTER BOBBY GEORGE THREATENED TO SUE ONLINE CRITICS, CWRU’S FIRST AMENDMENT CLINIC STEPPED IN
SOCIAL MEDIA POSTS CALLING for a protest after Bobby George’s recent plea deal with prosecutors, in which more serious charges including rape, kidnapping and attempted murder were not pursued in exchange for a guilty plea on a single count of attempted strangulation, made clear that the creators thought the criminal justice system did not deliver justice in the case.
Set to the tune of M37’s “Crooks N Criminals,” the post, shared by organizers Ohio 50501 and four other Instagram accounts, opined that George was “avoiding trial on more serious charges.” Followers were urged to “rally against” the business owner and “Cleveland’s corruption” the following Saturday.
“The county prosecutor allowed this to [sic] happened,” the post read, with “#NOWHERE” and “Fuck Bobby George” in bold lettering. “Fight this rapist. Boycott his business.”
George, who denied that he did anything wrong in a statement following the plea deal and who called the whole affair “a politically
motivated prosecution,” took notice. In early November, he hired a Columbus-based lawyer, Michael Hunter, to send cease and desist letters to the posters. It included the threat of further legal action, alleging that they had defamed George.
“Mr. George will be forced to initiate litigation to defend his reputation, expose the falsity of the statements you have published and promoted if you do not immediately comply with the requirements set forth herein,” Hunter wrote in the Nov. 6 letter to Ohio 50501.
In November, Case Western Reserve University’s First Amendment Clinic announced it was representing Ohio 50501 and whomever else may be the target of George and Hunter’s legal communications regarding the posts.
Anyone is free to lambast George and the plea deal under a new Ohio law enacted in January, the Uniform Public Expression Protection Act, designed to block “strategic lawsuits against public participation”—known as SLAPP—and protect such critiques as free speech.
And: “Your client cannot have his cake and eat it, too: whatever went into his decision to plead guilty to a lesser offense to resolve more serious allegations does not preclude someone from voicing their opinion that he committed the publicly reported conduct alleged in support of the arrest warrant, notwithstanding your client’s agreement to resolve the charges with the government.”
No lawsuits have yet been filed against Ohio 50501, or any of their Instagram coposters Geronimo said.
Scene reached out to George for comment on the Nov. 6 letter, but he did not respond. Hunter himself declined to comment.
Following a year of radio silence after George was arrested, he was charged via information with a single count of attempted strangulation in a deal with Jane Hanlin, a visiting prosecutor appointed by O’Malley after he recused his office due to campaign contributions from the George family. George was sentenced to five years of probation and will be, as Hanlin noted in interviews with press, a convicted felon “for life.”
George, in his sentencing statement, painted himself as the target of a 14-monthlong, politically-motivated campaign to ruin his reputation.
“President Trump was targeted by his political enemies who had prosecutorial power, and so was I,” George wrote. “He was vindicated, and I will be, too.”
Just like the speech that gave George free reign in his sentencing statement to criticize “far-left” prosecutors.
“Mr. George isn’t the only one with constitutional rights,” Andrew Geronimo, a First Amendment attorney and head of the clinic, wrote Hunter in a letter.
“Our clients also have corresponding constitutional rights to comment about how the criminal justice system treats him,” he wrote, “especially as George is a prominent public figure.”
“The idea that there could ever be liability for the statement ‘FUCK BOBBY GEORGE’ is risible,” Geronimo wrote, adding, it is “not in the universe of potentially actionable statements.”
As for the contention that calling George a “predator” and “rapist,” Geronimo argued: ““The arrest warrant for your client, which was widely covered in the news, included factual allegations of attempted murder and rape that the government deemed sufficient to meet the standard on which it was issued, and which the prosecutor reportedly believed were sufficient to take to trial.”
In a victim statement, read aloud in court, the woman involved colored him differently — as a lover and boss who sought complete control of “almost every aspect of my life,” she said. CCTV cameras at work were carefully monitored; a tracker was installed on her car; she was forced to quit her job and ignore college so that she was free to “care for” George, she said.
“Abuse,” she wrote, that escalated to the point of violence.
“It began with yelling, calling me derogatory names, and breaking things. Not long after he began pushing, shoving, and pinning me to the ground, then knocking me in the mouth and pulling my hair,” she said. “Pulling my hair quickly escalated to whipping and slamming my head on objects. When I screamed for help, he would shove a towel down my throat.”
When friends tried to help her leave, “he would threaten to beat them or take their lives,” she wrote. “When he would get angry this way, he would completely lose control. His eyes would become dark and there was no pulling him out of it.” – Mark Oprea
Photo by Mark Oprea
“
YOU DON’T REALIZE WHAT’S HAPPENING”
As Feds and Ohio debate kratom legality, users ensnared in addiction say just ban it already
By Mark Oprea
MAYBE IT WASN’T THE BEST TIME
in his life for Andrew to walk to his favorite gas station on the west side and, with the attendant’s insistence, try a new product called Opia.
It was kratom, he said. It would help alleviate his depression and mental slog. He had just broken up with his girlfriend and lost his job as an investment advisor at a local bank. He needed help, and it’s not that Andrew didn’t trust therapists, he just didn’t know the right of getting worthwhile help.
So, he tried a little green tablet called Opia.
“The guy I know behind the counter gave it to me for free,” Andrew, 32, an employee at a west side Home Depot, told Scene in July. “He said, ‘Try it! Try it!’ And he marketed it as kratom. ‘It’ll fix your depression. It will give you energy.’”
And it did. So much that Andrew began taking two packets of Opia a day just to keep the high constant.
But come month two, that energy plateau began to wane. Andrew had to limit the gaps between Opia doses. In the hours between, he experienced body aches, endless chills, restless leg feelings and “the most sweating I’ve ever had.”
“I mean, I wasn’t buying anything illegal. I didn’t have to meet up with anybody shady. I wasn’t doing anything wrong,” Andrew said. “Technically, I just went to the gas station to get more and feel better. Honestly, it happened so quick, you don’t even realize it’s happening.”
The main chemical compound behind the vast highs and horrid lows is 7-hydroxymitragynine, abbreviated as 7-OH. It’s an alkaloid that occurs naturally in kratom leaf, a plant part of the coffee family that Americans began getting high on shortly after soldiers flew back from the Vietnam War. And it gives a high that, as this reporter can attest, comes quickly, and gives a jolting, hours-long body-buzz of ecstasy. Afterward, however, some users (including this reporter) get a long bout of sleeplessness and sweaty bedsheets.
But 7-OH, as everyone from the FDA to the American Kratom Association has made very clear this year, is a different beast entirely. In the past half decade, chemists have figured out how to effectively extract the 7-OH alkaloid from dried kratom, then pack it tightly into a tiny tablet flavorized as Blue Raspberry, Strawburst or Mintopia. A tablet so tiny and
powerful that one team of scientists doing trials on mice with products they bought off the internet found 7-OH’s strength “17 times that of morphine.”
Which is why it’s in the sights of Gov. Mike DeWine.
Since August 25, when DeWine called for all forms of the leaf to be classified as (illegal) Schedule 1 drugs, the ensuing rallying from kratom users, kratom experts, ER doctors and
related to other substances in the system,” she said, “alcohol or other drugs.”
Savchenko is technically right: As of today, there are no reported deaths in the U.S. tied solely to 7-OH, a recent report from the FDA explained. A survey of 103 deaths in the past six years did tie mitragynine and 7-OH to the cause but did not blame it alone for those users’ demise.
But a lack of proof in studies doesn’t mean guards should be down. Hospitals and urgent cares still have to make gut decisions on how to treat patients based on lower-potency forms of supplements.
“I would speculate why people are experiencing more problems anecdotally is just because they are getting a more potent drug,” Ryan Marino, an ER doctor and toxicologist at University Hospitals who’s treated a spattering of intakes related to kratom in general, told Scene. One “that has more potential for dependence, withdrawal, addiction, overdose.”
And those side effects? “I’m talking irritability, anxiety, insomnia, a lot of nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, body aches, muscle pains, joint pains,” Marino said. “Very uncomfortable, like from head to toe.”
As the DEA entertains public comment through the end of the year, and
prescribed her Suboxone, typically used to treat opioid addiction, for four months.
“I see these things everywhere now. Gas stations, chiropractor offices—yoga studios,” she said. “It’s really scary because I don’t think people understand what they can do.”
In July and August, Scene heard from 17 kratom users about their experiences with 7-OH. Two said their taking 7-OH was mostly positive and helped crush horrible anxiety or ameliorated their depression.
But the vast majority, 15 people, reported their experience was nothing short of hellish, one that led to job loss, strained rapport with their spouses, thousands of dollars spent (on tablets and medical bills) and existential agony amidst countless sleepless nights. One woman told Scene her withdrawal periods from 7-OH led her from losing sleep for up to a week at a time.
And all were quick to mention just how easy it is, at least for the time being, 7-OH is to buy.
“All it takes is one moment of weakness,” a plumber in his fifties told Scene, “and it’s in your hand.”
Vape shops and supplement stores that carry 7-OH products can’t sell to adults under 21 in Ohio. The packages themselves advertise sweet flavors and momentary bliss—”Live lightly with us,” Opia’s reads—along with, on average, three separate disclaimers. Seven products reviewed by Scene all touted legal protections.
“By using this product, you accept full responsibility for the use,” packaging for Straight Heat reads, “including but not limited to any adverse events or health complications that may arise from use.”
Austin, a resident of East Cleveland in his twenties, started buying 7-OH in powder form from his favorite vape shop last year. He was trying to wean himself off an opioid addiction and had heard 7-OH might be the key to doing so.
Today, he takes over 100 milligrams a day, both to sustain the chill of the euphoria and to veer away from anything that feels like an opioid withdrawal with “a bit more dysphoria.”
“Pain engulfs my whole body,” Austin told Scene. “My skin crawls as if there was bugs living in my bones. My heart races and jumps. Paranoia sets in.”
Such cyclic abyss is what pushed Jay, a health consultant for the Occupational Safety and Health Administration, to begin referring his clients—mostly construction workers using 7-OH to deal with strenuous work hours—to addiction clinics.
attorney-advocates has hoisted the substance into the pharmacopeial spotlight: actual kratom leaf, they say, should not be mistaken for its high-strength cousin.
“I really find it very difficult to find that there is an imminent public harm or hazard here, because there are no deaths from 7-hydroxy,” Paula Savchenko, a Florida-based attorney who’s worked in the supplement regulation in industry for the past decade, told Scene in a phone call.
It’s why she’s been advocating lately, despite the American Kratom Association cheering the FDA on, for smarter, age-related regulation at the state level. Not outright prohibition. “Any adverse accident of hospital report has been
makes a yay or nay decision come March, thousands of 7-OH users across the country are still dealing with the side effects of a shot or capsule they feel they were misled into buying or taking.
“I didn’t think I had to do research for what I was told was a natural, five-hour, caffeinefree energy shot,” a mother-of-two, who was given 7-OH by her yoga studio, told Scene in an email. “Never have been addicted to anything in my life. I’m just a normal suburban mom.”
A month later, she went to the emergency room at Southwest General with flu symptoms. She was “so sick I thought I was dying.” She was referred to a substance specialist at the Oakview Behavioral Health Center. A doctor
Earlier this year, piqued by curiosity, Jay tried Opia himself. It was at a gas station in Lakewood he walked to often, and he soon enough tried the recommended dose of half a pill.
He was floored. “It feels like you took off—like you’re flying, you feel so great,” he said in a phone call. “It’s absolutely crazy.”
Then, the high wore off. “Really what you’re taking is legal morphine,” he said. “But I’d rather have a client take morphine because at least you know what’s in it.”
Bars that sell kratom drinks, like David Kovatch’s ones in North Olmsted and Ohio City, would have to remove drinks with the supplement from their menus if the DEA decides kratom is a Schedule 1 narcotic next year. | Credit: Mark Oprea
GET OUT EVERYTHING TO DO IN CLEVELAND FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS
WED 12/03
Cavaliers vs. Portland Trail Blazers
The Portland Trail Blazers will be without coach Chauncey Billups, who was arrested last month on gambling charges, when they play the Cavs tonight at 7 at Rocket Arena. The Trail Blazers have been a .500 ballclub, and the Cavs should be able to get the win. One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketarena.com.
A Christmas Story
Cleveland Play House’s production of this story about a Cleveland kid who just wants a BB gun for Christmas returns to the Allen Theatre, where it continues through Dec. 21. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30. 1407 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
Monty Python’s Spamalot
The farcical comedy that garnered 14 Tony nominations when it was on Broadway returns to Playhouse Square. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30 p.m. at Connor Palace. Performances continue through Sunday. 1615 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
A Motown Christmas
This holiday event features classic tunes by the likes of the Temptations, the Supremes and the Jackson 5. Tonight’s performance takes place at the Hanna Theatre, where performances continue through Dec. 14. 2067 East 14th St., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
THU 12/04
A Christmas Carol
This Great Lakes Shakespeare Festival production never fails to engage and delight. Framed as a story within a story in this Gerald Freedman adaptation, the production really comes alive once the ghost of Jacob Marley appears, dragging his chains and creaking eerily with every movement. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30 at the Mimi Ohio Theatre, where performances continue through Dec. 21. 1501 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
Handel’s Messiah
Conductor Bernard Labadie knows Handel’s Messiah. He’s conducted it more than 100 times.
He leads the Cleveland Orchestra today as it takes on the majestic piece, a holiday favorite. The concert begins tonight at 7:30 at Mandel Concert Hall, where performances continue through Saturday.
11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.
Monsters vs. Syracuse Crunch
The Syracuse Crunch come from upstate New York to Rocket Arena tonight to take on the Monsters in the first of a two-game series.
The puck drops at 7 and then again at 12:30 p.m. on Saturday.
One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketarena.com.
FRI 12/05
Art Treasures 2025 Artists’ Reception
This annual holiday art exhibition-meets-popup-shop will take place in the Hoffman-Stach Gallery in the Beck Center for the Arts main building. The event will feature hand-made goods from local artists. It takes place from 6 to 7:30 p.m.
17801 Detroit Ave., Lakewood, 216-521-2540, beckcenter.org.
GlamGore: A Titillating Haus of Tits Takeover
Cleveland’s self-proclaimed Vixen of Versatility,
Anhedonia Delight, presents this monthly themed drag show series at the Grog Shop in Cleveland Heights. Tonight’s show takes its team from two iconic directors. Doors open at 8 p.m.
2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-321-5588, grogshop.gs.
Irving
Berlin’s White Christmas Presented by BOOM Theater
In addition to its famous title track, this musical features “Blue Skies,” “I Love a Piano” and “How Deep Is the Ocean.” It arrives at the Akron Civic Theatre just in time for the holiday season. Performances take place at 7 tonight and tomorrow night and at 2 p.m. on Sunday.
182 South Main St., Akron, 330-253-2488, akroncivic.com.
The Jinkx & DeLa Holiday Show
Drag queens BenDeLaCreme and Jinkx Monsoon are writers, actors and comedians, so you can expect their holiday show to be off-the-rails. The party starts at 8 p.m. at the State Theatre.
1519 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
SAT 12/06
Light Up Lakewood
From 4 to 8 p.m. today in downtown Lakewood, Light Up Lakewood celebrates the season with a holiday parade, lighting ceremony, winter fireworks, the Roundstone Beer Garden, a holiday train, live music, ice carvings, hot chocolate, food trucks and children’s games. Admission is free.
lakewoodalive.org.
SUN 12/07
Browns vs. Tennessee Titans
The Browns get a break this week as the lowly Tennessee Titans come to town. The Titans own one of the league’s worst offensives and have struggled to find wins this season. Kickoff is at 1 p.m. at Huntington Bank Field. 100 Alfred Lerner Way, 440-891-5000, huntingtonbankfield.com
My
Love Letter to Food
Comedian Samantha Woodman wrote, directed and produced this show about her relationship with food. Tonight’s performance takes place at 6 p.m. at Imposters Theater. 4828 Lorain Ave., imposterstheater.com.
The Cleveland Orchestra brings its holiday concerts back to Mandel Concert Hall. See: Saturday, Dec. 13. | Photo: Courtesy of the Cleveland Orchestra
MON 12/08
Storm Large Holiday Ordeal
This variety show featuring singer Storm Large promises to offer music, gags and gifts. The concert begins at 7:30 p.m. at the Goodyear Theatre in Akron. 1201 East Market St., Akron, 330-659-7118, goodyeartheater.com.
TUE 12/09
How the Grinch Stole Christmas
At 7:30 tonight and tomorrow night at Mandel Concert Hall, the Cleveland Orchestra plays the score to this famous holiday movie while it shows on the big screen.
11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.
WED 12/10
Dr. Seuss’s How the Grinch Stole Christmas! The Musical
The musical based on the classic Dr. Seuss story about a curmudgeon who tries to steal Christmas away from an unsuspecting village comes to the State Theatre. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7, and performances continue through Sunday.
1519 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
THU 12/11
Voctave “It Feels Like Christmas”
Voctave’s 11-member vocal ensemble will perform holiday songs made famous by the likes of Disney and Broadway. The concert begins at 7:30 p.m. at Mandel Concert Hall. 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.
FRI 12/12
The Cleveland Arts Prize Presents The Cap Show
The Cleveland Arts Prize presents this exhibit of select Cleveland Arts Prize winners from the past six decades. The exhibit includes painting, photography, sculpture, ceramics, glass and mixed media. An opening reception takes place from 5 to 8 p.m. today at the Bostwick Design Art Initiative Gallery. 2729 Prospect Ave., 216-621-7900, bostwickdesign.com.
SAT 12/13
Cleveland Hoops Showdown
College basketball comes to Rocket Arena today as Ohio State takes on West Virginia and the University of Ohio plays St. Bonaventure. For start times, which are subject to change for national TV, check the arena website. One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketarena.com.
The Cleveland Orchestra Holiday Concerts
At this time each year, the Cleveland Orchestra plays a series of shows at Mandel Concert Hall that are designed to celebrate the holiday season. The orchestra performs at 2:30 and 7:30 p.m. today and tomorrow.
11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com.
The Jingle Bell Holiday Shop
More than 40 vendors will be on hand for this holiday show that takes place today from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. at the Grog Shop in Cleveland Heights. There will be music, drinks and shopping, and both the Grog Shop and the B-Side Lounge located in the Grog basement will be open.
2785 Euclid Hts. Blvd., 216-321-5588, grogshop.gs.
MON 12/15
Nutcracker! Magical Christmas Ballet
This production of the classical ballet features avant-garde circus techniques. Ukrainian choreographer Viktor Davydiuk is the man behind the ballet-theatrical presentation that presents “a lively reimagined staging.” Tonight’s performance takes place at 7 p.m. at Cleveland Music Hall.
E. 6th St. and St. Clair., nutcracker.com.
TUE 12 /16
Outlab: Experiments in Improvised Music
Musicians are invited to bring instruments or any sound making device (drum kit and keyboard provided) that can be used to explore collective group improvisation. Please bring your own amps if needed. The monthly session begins at 8 tonight at the Bop Stop. Admission is free. third Tuesday of every month. 2920 Detroit Ave., 216-771-6551, themusicsettlement.org.
scene@clevescene.com @clevelandscene
EAT BACK TO THE SQUARE
La Casa de Luchita’s revival offers up heaps of nostalgia, uneven results
By Douglas Trattner
IT’S BEEN ABOUT 20 YEARS SINCE I dined at Luchita’s, so my personal memories are about as crystalline as a well-blended margarita. When I moved back to Cleveland in the early aughts, Luchita’s was at the peak of its game, with a handful of locations scattered all over town. In addition to the flagship on W. 117th Street, the Galindo family operated restaurants in Mentor, Parma, Elyria and at Shaker Square, which was two miles from my home.
What I recall about those meals had less to do with the food on the plate than it did the company and surroundings. The Square was jumping back then and one of the best places to soak it all in was on the sidewalk patio in front of Luchita’s – at a time when outdoor dining was still relatively uncommon. Up to our eyeballs in margaritas, and three baskets into the chips and salsa, none of us at the table were scrutinizing the enchiladas, I can assure you.
Owing to soaring expectations, restaurant comebacks are always fraught with peril (I’m looking at you, Nighttown). Luchita’s, which is now called La Casa de Luchita’s, opened this past summer at Shaker Square, reviving a brand that had been dormant for three years but on life support since 2020. It is joined by Coyoacán, a fast-casual taqueria in the style of Chipotle. It’s a savvy pairing: diners can pop in for a speedy taco, burrito or torta lunch to go or settle in for a leisurely Mexican dinner.
On the Luchita’s side, a new menu format blends classic dishes like chiles rellenos, tamales, flautas, enchiladas and burritos with shifting seasonal features that broaden the kitchen’s range. Anyone who ever loved Luchita’s will bring to the table their own set of expectations, memories and taste preferences. Based on my recent experiences, those iconic Tex-Mex staples offer more bang for the buck than the regional specials.
Diners can still get lost in the giddy bliss of complimentary chips and salsa. The chips are thin, crisp and just salty enough
and La
to balance the sweetness of the red and green salsas. Few house blends possess any heat at all let alone the assertive tang of Luchita’s tomato-based salsa. Queso fundido ($15.99) arrives hot and melty, concealing a hearty portion of well-spiced chorizo. In addition to the chip garnish, the appetizer
The appetizers arrive on a thin, faintly sweet pumpkin-based sauce and are garnished with a crispy chapulin, or grasshopper.
The Tex-Mex delight that is a “wet burrito” has long been a Luchita’s menu staple, and the version ($17.99) revived on the Square has lost little in the
comes with a short stack of warm tortillas.
A wide bowl of chicken-based sopa Azteca ($8.99) was loaded with shredded chicken, rice, pico de gallo, and sliced ripe avocado. The soup’s only flaw was its temperature, likely tempered by the addition of so many cold additions and garnishes. Molotes de Xoxocotlan ($18.99) are crispy masa turnovers filled with a mild but savory chorizo and potato blend.
intervening years. Diners have a choice of fillings (beef, pork or chicken) and sauces (red or green). It’s big, it’s hearty, it’s as satisfying as a warm hug.
Luchita’s introduced many a Cleveland diner to the intoxicating appeal of honestto-goodness Puebla-style mole. The earthy, nutty and complex sauce is the signature component of pollo en mole Poblano. But
as part of the restaurant’s new seasonal specials, additional moles have entered the chat. The mole pasilla that coats beef cheeks in the cachetes de res en mole ($22.99) is nearly black in hue, with a dark and toasty flavor to match. The long-braised beef is so tender that it breaks apart with a spoon.
An order of pulpo ($23.99) went largely untouched. The octopus was grievously chewy, bordering on rubbery, and lacked any observable char from the grill. It was paired with a local rarity, green chorizo, which is completely different from the familiar ground sausage. This version is bright, herbaceous, nutty and mildly spiced.
After waiting ages for a dish of salsa and another round of beers, we stopped a staffer to locate our server. He informed us that she had left the restaurant 15 minutes prior. It was an awkward and abrupt finish to our meal; we settled up and followed suit.
I experienced similar service gaffes next door at Coyoacán, a glitch that often takes the “fast” out of fast-casual. It took a staffer multiple attempts to steam the corn tortillas without tearing them, but I eventually departed with tasty orders of carnitas ($4.50), barbacoa ($4.50) and birria tacos ($14.99).
dtrattner@clevescene.com @dougtrattner
Coyoacán
Casa de Luchita’s |
Photos by Doug Trattner
BITES EAT
Flour Restaurant now open at Valor Acres
By Douglas Trattner
AFTER NEARLY 15 YEARS in Moreland Hills (34205 Chagrin Blvd., 216-464-3700), chef-owner Matt Mytro has expanded with a second location of Flour. This one is located 20 miles to the southeast in Brecksville, specifically at Valor Acres, the mixed-use development currently taking shape on Route 21.
“I’ve always wanted to do a second location,” Mytro says. “We’ve been looking for a long time but never found the right opportunity.”
While approximately 30 seats larger – including a much larger patio – the new restaurant retains the look and feel of the original restaurant. Guests enter into the bar and lounge area, which features a large horseshoe bar.
“We wanted the bar to be a main focus when you walk in,” Mytro explains.
Beyond the bar, the open kitchen is also immediately visible, including the massive wood-burning pizza oven. One of the largest of its kind in the state, the Italian oven can cook 28 pies at a time. Unlike the “chef’s counter” in Moreland Hills, which is tucked away on the far side of the kitchen, Mytro wanted to move that action closer to the front door. Now called the “pizza bar,” the counter is a familyfriendly place to watch the culinary action.
Second bites at the apple often result in improved logistics, and that’s definitely the case here, adds Mytro.
“In terms of the openness of it, the kitchen is very similar to the other kitchen, but from a flow standpoint I think it’s going to be way better,” he states.
Flour opens with essentially the same menu as the original in Moreland Hills. That will change down the road.
“To start, the menu will be the same [as Moreland Hills], but eventually we will modify the food menu and the wine list to the clientele once we get an idea of what they want. Maybe we’ll have a few items that you can only get here.
Flour will be dinner-only to start, with lunch service coming online after the new year
Haute Donuts at Van Aken District adds Texas-Style BBQ
Zach and Alyssa Ladner are making some moves inside the Market Hall at Van Aken District.
In addition to Paloma, the full-service Latin-themed eatery the couple opened in 2022, they operate a pair of stands within the food hall: Gio’s Pasteria and Haute Donuts. As Gio’s was nearing the end of its lease term, the chef-owners decided to make some changes.
“We’ve done several barbecue pop-ups and it’s been really successful,” Zach says.
After winding things down last week at Gio’s, the Ladners shifted Haute Donuts to that larger stand. As of today, Haute Donuts becomes Haute Donuts and BBQ, which gives shoppers more variety morning, noon and night.
Earlier this year, Ladner opened Smokehouse 91, a fast-casual BBQ joint in Mayfield. Barbecue has long been a passion of the chef, who grew up in Texas before graduating from the Culinary Institute of America. But he won’t be duplicating that concept here in Shaker Heights, he explains.
“It is not the same as the barbecue that we do at Smokehouse 91,” says Ladner. “Stylistically it’s the same – it’s still Texasstyle barbecue – but at Haute we really focus on whole-animal utilization.”
Ladner says that he added a new butcher station in the Paloma kitchen, where they bring in and breakdown full sides of Ohioraised beef and pork. Those items are smoked onsite and make their way into menu items like sliced beef, chopped beef, sliced pork, chopped pork and sausages.
The twist here is that the beef and pork used in those menu items will change daily.
“There are a lot of cuts of meat that you can smoke low and slow that are really great that aren’t brisket,” adds Zach.
In addition to those myriad cuts, Haute BBQ offers pork belly burnt ends, housemade beef-and-pork sausages, whole smoked wings and bacon ribs, one-pound spareribs with belly meat. The plan is to offer heavy hitters like beef brisket and giant beef short ribs on weekends. Everything from the buns to the barbecue sauces are made at Paloma.
The chefs also prepare traditional but “jazzed up” sides such as mac and cheese tossed and broiled to order, candied yams, vegetarian baked beans, pork belly-spiked collard greens and coleslaw starring Cleveland Kitchen sauerkraut.
India Garden Restaurant to Open Stand at Van Aken Market Hall
Brothers Ramesh and Sanjeev Sharma have been running the popular India Garden restaurant in Lakewood for nearly 20 years. Come spring, the pair will open a second eatery across town in Shaker Heights. The offshoot establishment will be called Star of India Garden, and it will soon be taking shape inside the Market Hall at Van Aken District.
When it opens in March or April, Star of India Garden will offer a very similar lineup of rice, meat, seafood, vegetarian and bread dishes as to what is available in Lakewood, but those items will be presented to diners in a fast-casual fashion. For carry-out customers, the experience will largely mirror that of a traditional restaurant experience, according to Sanjeev.
Star of India Garden is taking the space most recently occupied by Ninja City, which decamped back in October. The addition marks the return of Indian cuisine to the Market Hall, an absence since Doug Katz closed Chutney B back in 2021.
“It gives a different dimension of food to the Market Hall,” says Van Aken District general manager Jesse Rathner. “It allows us to provide more ethnic offerings, which we hadn’t had in quite some time.”
The move comes at an opportune time for the wider community as well. With the impending relocation to Legacy Village in Lyndhurst, Saffron Patch will be closing its longstanding Shaker Heights location.
“There’s going to be a void in the community very soon,” adds Rathner. “This allows us to ensure that Shaker Heights remains a destination for Indian restaurants.”
The former Ninja City (and Domo Yakitori and Sushi before that) space is the largest in the Market Hall, with the roomiest kitchen and its own seating area. But it also is tucked away in a corner, lacking the visibility of many of the smaller stands. That’s an issue that will be dealt with jointly between the landlord and its new tenants. The goal will be to make some cosmetic changes to achieve “maximum visibility,” says Rathner.
Credit: Lizzie Schlafer
MUSIC
‘TIS THE SEASON
By Jeff Niesel
FOR THE PAST 15 OR SO YEARS, the Ohio City Singers, a local ensemble of about a dozen musicians that plays original Christmas music, has played a slew of holiday shows to celebrate the season. This year, it’s added a two-night stand at Forest City Brewery, the Tremont brewery located in a restored 1860s tavern. The shows there take place on Friday, Dec. 19, and Saturday, Dec. 20. Those performances are in addition to concerts at the Music Box Supper Club (Saturday, Dec. 6), the Winchester in Lakewood (Saturday, Dec. 13) and the Treelawn (Sunday, Dec. 21).
“We usually just do one night at Forest City Brewery, but the shows sell out so fast that we’ve added a second night,” says Allen one morning over coffee at Ready Set!, the West side coffeeshop he runs with his sister Molly Allen. “After we did the show last year at Forest City, we immediately booked the second night. It’s a great-sounding room and has a beautiful vibe to it. It feels very holidayesque. It’s a concert venue, but it has a casual vibe. Everyone can sit or dance depending on what they want to do.”
The Dec. 19 show will be “cover-heavy,” and the Dec. 20 show will feature deep tracks and include an acoustic set.
The Music Box concert will be a family friendly affair, and the Winchester will be a special one too. It’ll feature a performance of the band’s debut album, Love and Hope, in its entirety.
The band’s roots go back to 2003 when Allen and his sister along with local singersongwriter Doug McKean worked up four original Christmas tunes and then threw a big Christmas party to which they invited their musician friends. They played the four original tunes they had penned as well as a few covers, recorded them and delivered them on a CD to their families as a Christmas gift.
“My sister designed the cover artwork for that release,” says Allen. “It was all the [local] musicians I was playing with at the time like Boys from the County Hell, Rosavelt, Annie DeChant and Wally Bryson. We wrote four
songs and handed out lyrics. My kitchen was attached to the main room, and people were in there cooking food. We taped the whole thing. People sang along, and we learned the songs as we were recording them. It was like two days before Christmas. We stayed up all night with Mike McDonald, who was the engineer, and burned 30 CDs and put the cover art in. I remember handing it to my dad on Christmas Eve. He thought we were making a mix CD, and he looked at the songwriting credit and saw we wrote the songs and teared up.”
The group would play five of those house parties before recording 2008’s Love and Hope, its official debut, with producer Don Dixon (the Smithereens, Marshall Crenshaw). Dixon would become a band member in the wake of the recording, and he often dresses as Santa for the live shows.
“Every year, different people showed up at the parties,” says Allen. “The people who showed up the longest for the most amount of time wound up in the band. Me and Doug McKean were always in it as were Matt Sobol and Kelly Wright and Austin Charanghat. I invited the Jack Fords to one party, and that’s how their drummer, Brent Kirby, became the Ohio City Singers drummer. It was almost by accident. That’s how the lineup ended up so large. It’s like nine people.”
The group recorded its next albums at various locations around town but always added some crowd sounds by taping shows at places such as the Happy Dog.
“We always wanted to keep the house party vibe, so crowd participation has always been a big thing,” says Allen. “The crowd and the people who come to the shows have always been part of the music.”
This year, two new songs, the rollicking “Christmas Card from Heaven,” a song that features bells and accordion, and the bluesrock number “Santa Won’t You See Me,” will make their way into the sets.
“Doug and Austin and I had been writing all year long and had 15 or 16 new songs,” says Allen. “We were trying to get a record together. We have a record written and ready to go, but we couldn’t decide which songs to put on it. These two songs seem to play well live, so we’ll release them as digital singles. They’re really upbeat.”
The group played Winterloo on Waterloo at the Treelawn for the first time last year, and Allen says the band is excited to return there for the group’s last show of the season.
“We saw a lot of new faces at the show there last year,” says Allen. “It was fun. I didn’t know what to expect. Playing original Christmas music doesn’t always go over well, but everyone had a great time. It was a surprise.”
jniesel@clevescene.com @jniesel
The Ohio City Singers have a slew of holiday shows on the horizon. | Credit: Amber Patrick.
LIVEWIRE REAL MUSIC IN THE REAL WORLD
THU 12/04
All Them Witches
Just back from a European tour, this Nashvillebased hard rock act has played festivals such as Voodoo Music & Arts, Bonnaroo, Forecastle Festival and Pukkelpop. With its spooky found sounds and heavy guitars, the 2020 album, Nothing as the Ideal, typifies the band’s approach. The group performs at 7 p.m. at Globe Iron. King Buffalo opens. 2325 Elm St., globeironcle.com.
An Intimate Evening with David Foster & Katharine McPhee
The married couple brings their Christmas show to town as part of a 12-city tour. David Foster has penned hits for acts such as Mary KJ. Blige, Michael Buble and Josh Groban, and Katharine McPhee has starred on and sang on Broadway. Expect to hear a mix of Christmas music as well as tunes from their award-winning pasts. The concert begins at 7:30 p.m. at MGM Northfield Park — Center Stage. 10705 Northfield Rd., Northfield, 330-908-7793, mgmnorthfieldpark. mgmresorts.com/en.html.
FRI 12/05
An Acoustic Christmas with Over the Rhine
Nearly 30 years ago, this Cincinnati-based folk-rock group released its first collection of Christmas carols. Dubbed The Darkest Night of the Year, the album included both originals and covers. Now, the group tours each Christmas and plays songs from it as well as from another holiday album, Snow Angels. Expect something more subdued that the typical holiday concert. Tonight’s concert begins at 7:30 p.m. at the Kent Stage. 175 E. Main St., Kent, 330-677-5005, kentstage.org.
Kip Moore: Solitary Tracks Fall Tour
The veteran country singer-songwriter who just released a “deluxe” version of his album Solitary Tracks performs at 7 p.m. at House of Blues. The album opens with the rousing, Springsteen-like “High Hopes” and includes 26 songs, including a brand-new track as well as live, stripped-down versions of “Solitary Tracks” and “Rivers Don’t Run.” 308 Euclid Ave., 216-523-2583, houseofblues.com.
SAT 12/06
Cursive
The indie rock group that formed in the mid’90s performs at 7 p.m. at Mahall’s 20 Lanes in Lakewood. Last year’s Devourer showcases the band’s ability to deliver accessible songs with angular, post-punk guitars. Frontman Tim Kasher draws from inspiration from
both film and visual art (hence the album title, “devourer”).
13200 Madison Ave., Lakewood, 216-521-3280, mahalls20lanes.com.
The Elovaters: Staring at the Sun Tour
During its ten-year career, this reggae act out of Boston has opened for groups like Pepper, Ziggy Marley, Easy Star All-Stars, the Movement and Stick Figure. Its latest album, 2024’s Endless Summer, effortlessly blends pop and reggae. Much like Spearhead, the group keeps positive vibrations flowing with lilting melodies and soulful vocals. The show starts at 6 p.m. at House of Blues. 308 Euclid Ave., 216-523-2583, houseofblues.com.
KiNG MALA
And You Who Drowned in the Grief of a Golden Thing, the latest effort from this altpop singer-songwriter out of Los Angeles, features heavy synths and distorted guitar as it evokes “a cinematic fever dream that weaves together influences from brutalist architecture, the VVitch, Catholicism and Renaissance,” as it’s put in a press release. Think Marilyn Manson meets Billie Eilish. The current tour includes a stop at the Foundry. The show begins at 7 p.m. 4256 Pearl Rd., 440-637-5483, foundryconcertclub.com.
SUN 12/07
Dave Koz & Friends: Christmas Tour 2025
The smooth jazz star brings some of his best musical friends to the State Theatre for his annual Christmas show. This year, the concert will feature South African singer-guitarist Jonathan Butler, singer Haley Reinhart, multi-instrumentalist Casey Abrams and pianist Kayla Waters. Koz is known as a
smooth jazz guy, but the Christmas concert are festive affairs. The show begins at 7 p.m. 1519 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org.
Leslie Odom, Jr.
The actor, singer, authors and producer who became a household name after starring in the original Broadway production of Hamilton comes to MGM Northfield Park — Center Stage. Odom Jr. just released his latest effort, An Offering: Live at Speakeasy Studios. Expect to hear songs from it along with tracks from his two Christmas albums, 2016’s Simply Christmas and 2020’s The Christman Album. The concert begins at 7:30 p.m. 10705 Northfield Rd., Northfield, 330-908-7793, mgmnorthfieldpark. mgmresorts.com/en.html.
Preservation Hall Jazz Band: Creole Christmas
The long-running jazz group from New Orleans performs at 7 tonight at the Kent Stage. The group famously plays in a small, dingy art gallery in the French Quarter that it’s converted to a 100-seat concert venue. This represents a rare chance to see the ensemble outside of its natural environment.
175 E. Main St., Kent, 330-677-5005, kentstage.org.
Allen Stone and Ripe: The Get Sweet Tour
Modern soul singer Allen Stone has released five studio albums and shared the stage with icons such as Stevie Wonder and Erykah Badu. He’s just released a cover of “Ride Like the Wind” that has made its way into his sets. He comes to House of Blues as part of a coheadlining show with the funk band Ripe. The concert begins at 6 p.m. at House of Blues. 308 Euclid Ave., 216-523-2583, houseofblues.com.
TUE 12/09
Kenny G: The Miracles Holiday and Hits Tour 2025
The smooth jazz saxophonist famously released one of the best-selling Christmas albums of all time back in 1994 when he put out the multi-platinum Miracles. He brings his holiday show to the Akron Civic Theatre. The concert begins at 7:30 p.m.
182 South Main St., Akron, 330-253-2488, akroncivic.com.
WED 12/10
Aaron Lewis and the Stateliners
The MAGA-loving hard rock/country singer Aaron Lewis who has been vocal about his support for President Trump brings his American as It Gets Tour to MGM Northfield Park — Center Stage. The concert begins at 7:30 p.m.
10705 Northfield Rd., Northfield, 330-908-7793, mgmnorthfieldpark. mgmresorts.com/en.html.
SAT 12/13
Eric Gales
The blues guitarist has released 18 albums during the course of a 30-year career. Gales evokes Jimi Hendrix’s unhinged style of playing on his 2022 album, Crown. It documents his struggles with substance abuse and serves as the most personal release in his catalog. He performs at 7:30 pm. at the Kent Stage. 175 E. Main St., Kent, 330-677-5005, kentstage.org.
Three Dog Night
Still led by founding member Danny Hutton, the classic rock group performs at 8 p.m. at MGM Northfield Park — Center Stage. in the 1970s, the group delivered hits such as “Mama Told Me (Not To Come),” “Joy to the World,” “Black and White” and “Shambala” and “One.” 10705 Northfield Rd., Northfield, 330-908-7793, mgmnorthfieldpark. mgmresorts.com/en.html.
SUN 12/14
The Gilmour Project
A “descendant” of Blue Floyd, the early 2000s group made up of Allen Woody, Matt Abts, Marc Ford, Berry Oakley Jr. and Johnny Neel, and a tribute to Pink Floyd singer-guitarist David Gilmour, the Gilmour Project takes Pink Floyd tunes and puts a twist on them. The group performs at 6:30 p.m. at the Agora. 5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com.
Cleveland Pierogi Week returns January 19-25 with $8 pierogi deals from 30+ local eateries. Whether you love tradition or live for new flavors, there’s a pierogi with your name on it. Download the Cleveland Pierogi Week app to map your route, earn rewards and share your pierogi adventures.
SAVAGE LOVE
HAPPY SPANKSGIVING
by Dan Savage
I’m gay and go to a small liberal arts school. I have a crush on this one guy, but he brought up — unprompted — that he’s Aro/Ace. I really like him. We have great conversations in a lab we have together, and I think he’s super attractive. But every time I’ve tried to extend our friendship outside of the lab by suggesting we study together or go see a movie we both want to see, he seems closed off to the idea. I don’t know what to do. I can just be sad about it, I guess. Or is there a chance he might be attracted to me? I think he enjoys talking to me. And I definitely enjoy being around him.
Anxiously Ruminating On A Crushing Experience
Quick definition of terms: Someone who’s aromantic (Aro) doesn’t experience romantic attraction. While some aromantic people want romantic partners — or want a partnership and are willing to tolerate/simulate a little romance to get one — others don’t want a romantic partner. It’s a (sigh) spectrum. Someone who’s asexual (Ace) doesn’t experience sexual attraction but might be down to fuck. It’s (sigh) a spectrum. Now, lots of things exist along spectra, including (big sigh) sexual orientation — the famous Kinsey Scale represents a spectrum — but the asexual spectrum sometimes seems so broad as to be meaningless, running the gamut from sexrepulsed asexuals (disgusted by the thought of sex, don’t want to have sex, don’t want to be reminded that other people do) to asexual sluts (doesn’t experience sexual attraction, has sex for other reasons, and has tons of it).
Basically, we live in an era — or we’re living through the tail end of an era — when words mean whatever we want them to mean, people are allowed to use whatever words they like or invent new ones, no one is ever bullshitting themselves or anyone else, and the only people getting gatekept are the gatekeepers.
All that said, AROACE, it’s highly unlikely your lab partner brought up his Aro/Ace status unprompted. You may not have told him you find him attractive — you may not have said those words to him — but there were tells: the way you looked at him was a prompt, the way you lit up when he spoke to you was a prompt, the way you asked him out on what were essentially dates was definitely a prompt. Aro/Ace boys may not experience romantic or sexual attraction, but they’re not dense — they can tell when someone is interested in them romantically or
sexually — and this boy knows you’re into him. Which is fine! You’re allowed to find hot guys! And you’re allowed to ask them out! But you have to take “no” for an answer, AROACE, explicit and implicit. And when this boy brought up his Aro/Ace identities, he was letting you know the answer is “no.”
Think of it as a variation on, “It’s not you, it’s me,” something people say when they’re trying to let someone they like down easy.
And even if this boy is the kind of aromantic person who wants to have a partner, AROACE, and even if he falls onto the slutty end of the asexual spectrum, the fact that he brought being Aro/Ace up is good indication that he doesn’t see you as a potential partner…
I have my own earbuds in. One day last month my ear buds ran out of juice. I realized that the guys lifting couldn’t hear themselves, and some of them were making really and loud and hot noises — moaning, grunting, panting and so forth as they were lifting. I don’t think they know how loud they are or what they sound like. One guy in particular doing squats has a pattern of working up to louder and louder noises and ending in an almost orgasmic grunt/moan combo on his last lift in a set. I’ve been getting into listening to all these sounds and reacting to the point that I’m wearing a sturdy jock on weight days to avoid any, um, visible reactions. Anyway, it’s a small town and I’m careful not to ogle the cute guys in the gym or in the shower
if he’s even interested in having a partner, romantic and/or sexual, which he may not be.
P.S. You could say this to him: “Cards on the table: I asked you to study alone together sometime or go see a movie because I’m attracted to you. But I understand that only a friendship is possible here, since you’re Aro/Ace, which I get and respect. I’m happy to hang out as friends, if you’re interested in being friends outside of class. If not — not yet or not ever — no hard feelings and I promise not to be weird.”
Gay cis guy in a small town, mid-40s and between relationships at the moment. I’ve been developing what might be a kink and wonder about it. I go to a gym in town with a nice weight room. Most guys using it are younger than me and a high percentage (like 90%) wear headphones or earbuds when lifting and are lost in their own auditory worlds.
your behavior — your leering ears — exists along the spectrum of “permissible secret perving.” We are allowed to take private pleasure, even sexual pleasure, from the random stimuli we encounter as we move through the world, so long as we don’t disturb or upset others. So, just as discreetly enjoying the eye candy has always been one of the perks of going to the gym, discreetly enjoying the ear candy doesn’t constitute harassment or abuse.
Quick digression: On the most recent episode of After-Action Report — my new podcast — I spoke with a woman who has a sneeze fetish. She’s allowed to leave the house during cold-and-flu season to enjoy the sights and sounds of hot strangers sneezing in airports and grocery stores! So long as she isn’t visibly aroused — so long as she can wait until she gets home to buzz one out — there’s nothing wrong with the pleasure she takes from hearing a stranger sneeze. Same goes for you, MOAN: so long as you aren’t doing anything that makes other people uncomfortable — and other people are the ultimate judge of that — you’re allowed to enjoy the moans, groans, and grunts of the men at your gym.
(well maybe a quick glance). But secretly listening to the lifters as they grunt and moan in the weight room has become an obsession. It’s done wonders for my weight routine but seems creepy, even though I’m looking at the wall and not at them, and they have no idea I’m getting off on their sounds. I’ve thought about recording on my iPhone to jerk off to later but haven’t. (Too creepy!) Is this harassment or abuse? Should I stop and tune back into the Black Keys at high volume on my earbuds to drown out these hot grunts and moans? And is there a name for this thing of mine?
Making Orgasmic Auditory Noises
This thing of yours has a name: auralism. It’s a kink where certain sounds — like listening to men moan, grunt, pant, etc., at the gym — trigger arousal.
And so long as you’re not visibly aroused, MOAN, and so long as you’re not staring at guys and/or making them aware of your arousal,
Making a recording while you’re at the gym, however, falls into an ethical and legal gray zone. Depending on where you live, MOAN, recording a conversation without the consent of both/all parties is a crime. (But do grunts and moans count? You’d have to ask a lawyer.) And even if making audio recordings in a public place is legal where you live, it feels more invasive than simply listening. That said, everyone is recording everything everywhere now — especially at the gym — and for frankly worse reasons. The world is full of pranksters, influencers, and Karens making and uploading videos in the hopes of going viral at someone else’s expense. Quietly capturing a few seconds of “room sound” at the gym for your own private enjoyment later seems less problematic — it seems less abusive — than posting a video to your Instagram of someone’s bad form to mock them or uploading the worst moment in someone else’s life to your socials to boost your follower count.
Got problems? Yes, you do!
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