HOW PEOPLE FALL FOR BITCOIN SCAMS
By Mark Oprea
REWIND: 1985
Thirty years ago, Roger Waters was on the cover of
as a
UPFRONT
TempleLive Cleveland is no more
A WEEK AFTER TEMPLELIVE
Cleveland laid off its entire staff and continued canceling upcoming shows, there has still been no official announcement that the venue has closed, though those circumstances, in addition to its website now being dead, are indication enough.
The Arkansas-based company also recently shuttered its other venues in Columbus; Peoria, Illinois; Wichita, Kansas; and Fort-Worth, Texas. In the first public statements since the news, Lance Beaty, the CEO of TempleLive owner Beaty Capital, told Talk Business & Politics that industry pressures stemming from the consolidation of online ticketing, venue ownership and management were to blame.
“We are simply an outsider in an insider’s business,” he told the outlet. “No matter how much money you throw at it or how creative you think you are, if you’re not on the inside, you’re not in.”
One likely contributing factor in the closures: Partners Bank in Arkansas last week filed a complaint against the company over repayment of a $1.5 million credit line.
Beaty said they’re in the process of trying to sell assets, individually or as a package, or come up with another solution to satisfy Partners Bank and other creditors.
“We’re having discussions with other national operators with respect to either a sale or a joint venture of some kind where we would be a passive minority holder in a newly capitalized company. We’ll see what happens,” he told the outlet. “Look, this is likely a $50 million to $60 million transaction that has to be worked through. … But solutions have to be found.”
The company first acquired an historic Masonic Temple in Fort Worth in 2014, pumping millions into renovations. It grew with acquisitions of other Masonic Temples and buildings in the following years, including in Cleveland, where it spent a reported $8.1 million on upgrades.
– Vince Grzegorek
A Cuyahoga County sheriff’s deputy who participated in high-speed chases that killed two bystanders admitted to “lying” during his background check and keeping details off his application, according to his personnel file.
Deputy Kasey Loudermilk denied having already accepted a job as an officer with the Cleveland Clinic during the sheriff department’s hiring process. He also did not list on his application that the Ohio State Highway Patrol and Highland Heights police had disqualified him for failing polygraph and physical agility tests, according to Loudermilk’s personnel file.
“He apologized for lying and openly admitted to accepting the job at the Cleveland Clinic, but would rather work for our agency,” Sheriff’s Detective Kevin Harvey wrote in the conclusion of a 250-page background investigation.
Dishonesty on job applications typically disqualifies most people, but Loudermilk still got a sheriff’s badge and gun and landed on the controversial Downtown Safety Patrol.
How Loudermilk got his job sheds more light on hiring practices within the sheriff’s department after another deputy was deemed unfit to be an officer, but was hired anyway.
Cuyahoga County Sheriff’s Department leaders, police experts said, ignored warning signs and should have never hired either deputy, as the failures create trust issues with the public.
“This is an indication that there are systemic issues in the hiring process,” said Kalfani Turé, an assistant professor at Widener University who studies police practices in Pennsylvania. “The
said he later took a second exam and passed, according to a sheriff’s polygraph report.
He also told the examiner that Highland Heights police officials disqualified him because he failed a physical agility test.
The examiner wrote that Loudermilk did not disclose the details on his application because he did not have enough space available.
Loudermilk passed the polygraph, but the examiner wrote that “the significant information should be considered” when deciding if Loudermilk was an acceptable candidate.
Jeff Wenninger, a Cleveland-area expert on police tactics, said law enforcement demands high standards, as most departments have a zero tolerance for lying.
“It should be considered a character disqualification,” Wenninger said. “False and misleading statements make it reasonable to question an officer’s integrity in actions, report writing, testimony and failing to report observed misconduct.”
The polygraph report showed Loudermilk had credibility issues, which now brings liabilities to the county, Ture said.
agency had forewarnings and made bad decisions.”
Loudermilk, who is now on administrative duty, did not respond to a request for comment. Kelly Woodard, the county’s director of communications, declined to answer questions about the hiring process.
“Deputy Loudermilk was hired under a sheriff appointed prior to this administration,” she wrote in a statement. “The Sheriff’s Department is committed to attracting qualified candidates and ensuring a fair hiring process.”
Cuyahoga County Council President Dale Miller questioned the sheriff’s department’s hiring practices.
“If someone deliberately lies during the application process, we should not be hiring them,” Miller told The Marshall Project - Cleveland. “That is a problem.”
Since 2018, Loudermilk has worked for police departments in North Perry, Grand River, University Hospitals and Cleveland Clinic, state records show.
He joined the sheriff’s department in November 2022.
Harvey learned Loudermilk accepted a job at the Cleveland Clinic after speaking to Loudermilk’s supervisor at the University Hospitals’ police force, records show. Loudermilk denied taking the job when Harvey questioned him.
After a second phone call, Loudermilk came clean.
Loudermilk listed on a polygraph questionnaire during the sheriff department’s hiring process that the Ohio State Patrol rejected him because he failed a polygraph exam. He
Loudermilk pursued a car early Sunday that struck Sharday Elder’s vehicle on Superior Avenue and Addison Road. Elder was pronounced dead at a hospital, according to a sheriff’s incident report, which stated that speeds exceeded 100 mph. The driver Loudermilk was pursuing now faces charges of aggravated vehicular homicide, involuntary manslaughter and operating a vehicle while under the influence. He pleaded not guilty Thursday, News 5 Cleveland reported.
Loudermilk also led a chase in March where the other driver struck Tamya Westmoreland’s Range Rover at the Eddy Road exit off Interstate 90, according to reports. She died, along with the driver who fled from Loudermilk.
Another sheriff’s deputy, Isen Vajusi, was forced off a suburban police force after he failed field training, The Marshall Project - Cleveland and News 5 Cleveland reported in June. That department found that he lacked confidence, had difficulty in stressful situations, and “hesitates because he is afraid of making a mistake.”
In May, he fired rounds at a teenager and was temporarily assigned to another unit. He is now on administrative duty with the downtown unit.
The news outlets reported recently that Vajusi pointed a rifle out a window in a December chase where speeds topped 100 mph.
Two months before that chase, Vajusi had shot a teenager in the leg.
– Mark Puente, The Marshall Project
Cuyahoga County Deputy Involved in Fatal Chases Accused of ‘Lying’ in Hiring Process
Photo by Mark Oprea
FEATURE YOU NEED TO INVEST
How people fall for bitcoin scams, and how Cleveland’s FBI office is leading the charge to get money back.
By Mark Oprea
MAYBE IT WAS OUT of boredom, maybe a little bit of hubris and selfgain, or maybe an honest belief that he could score millions of dollars by the end of the week. Whatever the reasoning, Sam pulled the trigger and sent the alluring Asian woman in Los Angeles $3,000 one Monday afternoon last July from the swivel chair in his home office in Solon.
But this wasn’t just any woman on the internet. This was Kristina Tian from Mucker Capital, one of the top venture capital firms in California. Her LinkedIn profile showed she a had finance degree from Stanford and another one from NYU. Everything seemed to check out, with what little checking Sam did. So, when Kristina reached out to the 53-year-old consultant about investing, he listened.
“I work in finance, and have been for a long time,” Kristina explained to Sam on WhatsApp after initially reaching out on LinkedIn. “I have all these excellent products. We multiply money. We do well doing it. We give good returns to people.”
Good returns, Sam thought.
It’s not like he needed them. Since moving to the U.S. in the late nineties, Sam assembled a nice suburban life in Northeast Ohio. He married. He finished his doctorate. He raised his family. He made upper middle class money. And he invested. He had his reliable sources—an E-Trade account, a Roth IRA, a wallet of crypto coins. Three-thousand dollars wasn’t a big deal to toss into the bucket, even if tied to some random finance director off LinkedIn.
“What kind of returns?” Sam said. “Good ones. I have been doing this successfully for some time,” Kristina wrote. “I would like to give you a try.”
What do I have to lose, Sam thought.
As instructed, he opened up Coinbase, an app used to buy and manage a variety of cryptocurrencies, and clicked the link Kristina had sent. The portal, “Dexproaeg,” was foreign to him. But there were myriad coins on the market, and anyone could digitally mint the next shining sleeper—Andrew Tate, Iggy Azalea, Donald Trump, the Hawk Tuah Girl. He bought $3,000.
Thirty seconds later, the app surprised Sam. The number clocked up to $8,000.
Wow, this is very good, Sam thought. He looked out at his yard, then back to his phone. His hands shook as he transferred the money to his Chase account. He had stumbled on the world’s greatest secret. How didn’t I know this before?
WhatsApp dinged.
“Oh by the way,” Kristina said, “what kind of car do you drive?”
Sam didn’t really want to say. Nissan. Who cared? It was just a car.
A photo appeared. It was a Bugatti Chiron, a two-door hypercar that retails well over $3 million. It was right there, sitting in Kristina’s garage in Los Angeles. And then, the yacht. The $5 million yacht Kristina was pondering selling after summer ended. Was it real? Kristina’s area code was Los Angeles County—310. She’d sent her location at Sam’s request: the Malibu Country Mart mall off Highway 1. (Where they would meet in-person one day, Kristina said.) But I don’t even boat, Sam thought.
He opened up his Chase account and sent $100,000. He ignored the questionnaire that popped up: “Where are you sending this money?”, “Did anyone tell you to wire this money?”, “Did you meet someone online?”
$185,000, the app read. I can’t believe it.
“Can you talk?” Kristina wrote. She was calling! Sam was going to talk to Kristina. Should he? What would his wife think? It was just platonic; this was a business relationship. He opened the call. There she was on video, with her parted black hair, red lipstick and eyebrows like half moons.
“Hi,” Sam said.
“Hey, how are you doing?,” Kristina said in a dense Chinese accent, sitting in a plush, white chair in front of a wall of fashion books. “We need to hedge against the risk. Do you know what that means?”
“Yes, I know what that means.”
“We’re doing good,” she said. She sent Sam a screenshot of her app, showing returns totaling $300,000. “You know, we could make a few million per month, provided we have enough capital in the account. You could, if you wanted to, buy a $12 million house in LA. We could make at least $3 million per month—we just need to invest for four, five months.”
Sam, a 53-year-old consultant in Solon, was scammed out of half a million dollars by a “Kristina Tian” last July. | Mark Oprea
Sam laughed. “I’m not in a rush to get a $12 million house,” Sam told her. He wasn’t. Maybe secure his kids’ future. Maybe double his current net worth. Beef up his retirement.
“I just got back from Hawaii. Do you like Hawaii?” Kristina said. “You could make similar trips. You could do anything you’re unable to do in your life.”
“Oh okay,” Sam said.
Sam went to bed four nights in a row mulling over Kristina. It felt like a tryst. No one knew. Not his wife, his daughters, his best friend. Nevertheless, Sam threw over $500,000 into Kristina’s crypto account by the end of that week at the end of July.
That Thursday, Sam woke up in the middle of the night. There was a ding on his phone. He rolled over and saw he’d received an email. It wasn’t from Kristina. Which relieved Sam: she had been texting and calling ad nauseam, urging him to throw yet another $100,000 into the account.
It was an email from an FBI agent in Des Moines, Iowa.
“Dear Sam,” it read. “Based on your recent transactions, we have identified you as a potential victim to a cryptocurrency scam, one that will make you deposit money…” He shut his phone immediately.
The next day, Sam opened up WhatsApp. A reverse image search confirmed that “Kristina Tian”—her LinkedIn profile name—was actually Chinese influencer Eliana Jing. There was no Kristina Tian.
“Master manipulator,” Sam wrote.
“I feel for you,” Kristina wrote a day later. “You’re a good pig, just not fat enough. But thank you for giving me half of your savings.”
“Wrong,” Sam said. “You were not close enough.”
“Lol, I enjoyed it. And thank you for the money so I can find more.” She sent a crazy eyes emoji. “Glad to use your life savings.”
Fattening up a pig, as many farmers know, boils down to two main principles. One, keeping that pig on a consistent stream of hearty foods, of soybeans or barley, maybe vegetable oils or tallow. And second, minimizing stress: keep access to feed easy, space luscious and outside animals away.
This, to keep the metaphor going, is what cryptocurrency scammers have gotten really, really good at doing: casting a dragnet across the world—from the homes of the United Kingdom to Tempe, Arizona—and lo-
cating pigs worth fattening up over time, over months or even years. And then, only when they’ve reached the apex of their plumpness, bring those pigs to slaughter.
In the world of internet crimes, this is known as pig butchering, and it is by far the biggest and most worrisome digital crime for authorities in the past decade. Bitcoin’s explosion on the Stock Exchange, dovetailed with years of pandemic boredom, smartphone ubiquity and ease of access to a trove of apps—Crypto.com, Binance, Coinbase— have helped facilitate the most popular and devastating financial crime today with global reach. And its victim count and perpetrator base, from Southeast Asia to Central Ohio, only continues to grow.
The sheer amount of money sent, and lost, in online scams is pretty staggering, according to a 2024 report from the FBI’s Internet Crime Complain Center. Money lost around the globe, whether it be from shady toll scams or from fake lovers, has quadrupled in the past five years, from $4 billion reported lost in 2020 to almost $17 billion last year. And crypto tops every single category, from number of complaints to amount of money lost. (It’s the number one leading digital crime reported in Ohio.) And the complaints just keep on coming. In 2020, crypto-related grifts tallied in the four figures; last year, there were 150,000.
And that’s not even the toughest fact. In your typical wire fraud case, there’s about an 80 percent chance you’ll get your money back if you report it to the Feds within three days. In interviews with three investment scam experts, all told me that the chances of getting your money back after it’s entered the blockchain is less than 10 percent.
“‘Unfortunately, I have some bad news for you.’ That’s usually how I start most of these conversations,” Steven Stransky, a cybersecurity expert at the Thompson Hine law firm, told me. Stransky, who helps the scammed— which include everyone from retired Clevelanders to investment arms of corporations—enter the sluggish legal process of getting money back, said the odds of returning a faux crypto investment is a lot thinner. “I would say that I’ve seen less than one percent of my clients be able to recover lost finances.”
“My experience,” he added, “is that it’s almost never recoverable.”
Therein lies the goal of the Midwestern Cryptocurrency Task Force: to fight against that almost never. Here, in a second-story room in the
Cleveland FBI office off Lakeside Avenue, is the hardest-working group of agents between New York and Chicago in the world of crypto crimes.
Started by Special Agent Milan Kosanovich in 2018 to combat the astonishing influx of reports to the IC3, the MCTF comprises about a dozen financial crime experts across Northern Ohio and acts as an investigative link between two of the FBI’s largest crypto-tailored operations in its history—Operation Level Up and Operation Golden Sweep, the latter Kosanovich
“I would say that I’ve seen less than one percent of my clients be able to recover lost finances.”
kicked off in 2023. The goal: perfect the job of tracing digital breadcrumbs along the blockchain, the global ledger of coin trading, from the scam center in China or Myanmar to, say, Sam in Solon’s wallet. And try and get the money back.
“The problem is this: everything in the blockchain—Bitcoin, Ethereum, TRON—once you send it, you can’t undo it,” Kosanovich told me. “It’s gone. Type in the wrong address? It’s gone. You can’t call Mr. Bitcoin or Mrs. Bitcoin, and say, ‘Hey, can you undo that transaction?’”
About a year after he first made contact with Sam, Kosanovich invited me to watch him work, in the command center of the MCTF, in July. He keeps cleanly-cut, salt-and-pepper hair, and wears a flag pin on the chest of a blackand-white suit straight out of Men in Black. A former hostage negotiator, Kosanovich has lectured on finance
Special Agent Milan Kosanovich spearheads the Midwest’s largest crackdown on crypto scams out of the FBI’s Cleveland office. | Mark Oprea
crimes in 11 countries, is a member of the FBI’s Cyber Criminal Squad and was once a supervisor for the bureau’s Economic Crimes Unit in Washington, D.C. He keeps a glass-is-half-full demeanor in, it seems, every realm of his life. “I’m of the opinion that anything’s better than nothing.”
At a desk holding a wall of computer monitors, Kosanovich brought up a simulation of a typical exchange on the blockchain. In a diagram that resembled a series of jellyfish tied together, sixty-year-old “Jonathan” from Utah sent money to a wallet with a specific code. The transfer’s public, so Kosanovich traces the transaction as far through the blockchain as he can go. This is essentially a game of hot potato. If, say, the transfer’s been identified trickling to and from a series of wallets on Kraken or Tether, then Kosanovich records that information from the ledger to build a case.
But trying to find the money is like trying to nab a package without knowing what the delivery truck looks like. And scammers know this. Money deposited in their wallets is almost immediately lifted, usually in just an hour, to another wallet. And then another. Then, finally, with the help of hired mules, into a bank account tied to the operators themselves. Which is the gold of Golden Sweep: pinpointing exactly where money has been and will soon go. And do that in minutes.
“I spend a lot of time going to other people’s desks. ‘Have you seen this before? Have you seen that?’” Kosanovich told me. He traced his cursor through the hoops and lines of the blockchain diagram. It stopped at the final wallet address, a lengthy line of characters, one still in the pocket of the crypto service, Tether. Kosanovich was so attuned to what he was doing that he barely flinched at the shouts from the hostage negotiation training going on next door.
Kosanovich stood up and pointed to the wallet. “If it gets here? We can freeze that money,” he said. “And if we can’t? It’s gone. That is the dance and the challenge of this work.”
Her name, the presentation file said, is Jessica. She’s 33 years old, fiveand-a-half feet tall, weighs just over 110 pounds. She’s a Leo—“a spirited fire sign”—and was the child of a binational marriage, an American father and Belarusian mother. She’s “pleasing,” “attractive” and “elegant.”
Jessica is also a go-getting entrepreneur, a college graduate aspiring to resurrect her dream of opening a cloth-
ing studio. But three years in she has hit a roadblock. She wants to “scale up” her business with top-shelf designs, and doing so requires a heap of money she doesn’t have access to by normal means. “Faced with this problem,” Jessica said, “I’m stuck with funding.” Jessica, as would have it, is direly looking to invest in some cryptocurrency.
But Jessica, you must know, is not real. She is a character created by supervisors at a massive scam compound called KK Park, an enclosed village with offices and hotels on the border of Myanmar and western Thailand. There, hundreds of trafficked workers—mostly bilingual Chinese jobseekers tricked by bait-and-switch ads—are forced to message hundreds, if not thousands, of people a day. If they don’t, they’re laid in between rows of computers and punched or smacked with metal pipes; others are tied in crucifixion poses or electrocuted. But they are all, involuntarily and opportunistically, Jessica.
Against the backdrop of Myanmar’s civil war, which has been pummeling the country’s economy since May 2021, a wave of rebel groups has since then capitalized on the country’s areas with lax or unenforced laws. And in the past four years, Southeast Asia has exploded with compounds like KK Park: one 2023 report from the UN counted 17 of them, from the northern tip of Myanmar to the southern border of Cambodia. That’s over 220,000 scammers, the report found, that operate in the hierarchical fashion of, say, a midsized tech company. Well, with a culture closer to a prison. “You have everything you need,” one expert put it. “Because once you enter, you can’t leave.”
“If it gets here? We can freeze that money. And if we can’t? It’s gone.”
It was highly likely—Kosanovich suggested 99 percent likely—that Kristina Tian, the supposed investor that grifted Sam in Solon, was a character created by one of these compounds. A reality hard to swallow for people like Sam and the FBI. The vast majority of those on the other end of those strange texts (“Hey how are you?”, “When are we meeting for dinner tonight?”), LinkedIn DMs, or shady Tinder profiles are trafficked victims of scams themselves.
Which begs the question: How does a government agency 8,500 miles away from Mae Sot, Thailand, catch and prosecute people who have scammed hundreds, if not thousands, of Americans out of billions of dollars?
“The ultimate goal is not the person on the phone; it’s the person directing the person on the phone,” Kosanovich told me. “They’re the one orchestrating all of this. That’s why we want to give people their money back: we don’t want those funds to go to the back end.”
A lot of the work on the ground lies in links between anti-scam organizations and Southeast Asian militaries. In February, China, Myanmar and Thailand backed rescue raids of scam compounds, including KK Park. Over 7,000 trafficked victims were rescued and set up for repatriation come March. Electricity was shut off to others. “But that has not stopped anything,” one worker for the International Justice Mission said. “Not even for one day.”
While reporting this story, in the beginning of July, I, like countless others, got yet another scam text. It’s from Joanna. A Joanna from LinkedIn’s HR team who wants to know if I’m up for a new job. I say yes and soon I’m talking to Mireille on WhatsApp. She wants a screenshot of the text from Joanna. I say no. I say, “This just seems weird to me. Can’t we just talk about the job?”
“Due to limited availability,” Mireille writes, “we need to see the text message in order to receive the training.”
“I’m so confused!” I write. “Is this a real job or not?”
“I need to see the time of the text message,” she said. “Of course it’s true.” Joanna is the recruiter, she said, and she is a “staff member for this company.”
At that, my attempt to be annoying simmers into a cold guilt: What if my tomfoolery leads to this person, this Mireille, into a day’s worth of flogging?
I open up Google Translate, then send the following in Chinese, for which I never get a reply: “Where are you?” I text. “Are you okay?”
At the end of last year, a few months after the FBI reached out to him, Sam found out that he was one of the luckiest of victims. Recent operations helped freeze and seize $8.2 million from Tether, including $1.1 million tied to four local victims, Sam and his $507,562 being one of them.
They are all waiting to get their money back from the U.S. government through the forfeiture process, DOJ attorney James Morford told me.
These are bizarre cases. They’re not against the scammers. The money itself, Morford said, is the defendant. Sam must prove the $500,000 was really his money as it entered and then went through Coinbase. “Simply stated,” Morford said, Sam “must demonstrate that he obtained the funds legitimately.”
Assuming it goes smoothly, Sam will have his money back by the beginning of 2027.
A startling fact considering that no one in his life knows he lost a half million to a crypto scam. “My wife doesn’t know. My kids don’t know,” Sam reminded me recently over coffee. Sam smiles as he talks—and he talks a lot—as if he was chitchatting about a botched bet on a baseball game, not the equivalent of someone’s life savings. “I’ll put it this way. I have a best friend. We’ve been friends for 25 years now. We share everything. About our families. Work.” Sam sipped his coffee, and said, “But I would never, never tell him about this.”
Halfway through our meeting, Sam took out his phone to answer a text. It’s a message on WhatsApp, he showed me, from a Jessica. “I do this every day,” he said, scrolling through a conversation about cooking tips. There are dozens of chats with Asian women with American names. “I’m not kidding. Every day there is someone new. Whoever reaches out to me, I just keep them engaged. And once the engagement does end, I tell them exactly who they are and their intentions.”
“What do you say?”
Sam laughed and scrolled to a recent comment. It was to Jessica.
“Yeah you are looking for a fat pig to butcher, aren’t you?” Sam had written.
“And then you block them,” I said. “Yes, and then I block them.”
And that $500,000? What will Sam do with it once the check clears in a year and a half? I expected a reverie about retirement. Instead, he smiled monkishly. He looked around at the other café goers, then back to me.
“That’s the thing about money,” he said. “It will deteriorate your health. Your well-being. Your thinking. Your demeanor. And it’s not like the entire world is bad, right? It’s not like everybody is bad, right?”
“But I guess that’s my one piece of advice,” Sam said. “Don’t trust somebody if they just randomly bumped into you.”
CLEVELAND
WED 09/10
The Notebook
This musical that features music and lyrics by multi-platinum singer-songwriter Ingrid Michaelson comes to the Connor Palace for an extended run. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30, and the play runs through Sept. 27.
1615 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org
Our Town
Thornton Wilder’s Pulitzer Prize-winning play explores themes of life and death and love and friendship. Cleveland Play House’s production of the play promises to be a “magical new staging.” Tonight’s performance takes place at 7:30 at the Allen Theatre. 1407 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org
THU 09/11
Guardians vs. Kansas City Royals
Division rivals, the Kansas City Royals have struggled last year’s magic that got them into the playoffs. Still, they’ll be tough to beat as they come to Progressive Field this week for a fourgame series that concludes tonight. First pitch is at 7:10. 2401 Ontario St., 216-420-4487, mlb.com/guardians
FRI 09/12
Adopt-A-Beach Cleanup
Meet at the Greater Cleveland Aquarium and walk to Wendy Park to pick up litter and keep our beaches clean and safe. You’ll be shocked at the number of cigarette butts and other junk you’ll find. All ages are welcomed; and be prepared for a 2.5-mile roundtrip walk. It’s free, but registration is required. The cleanup begins at 10 a.m.
2000 Sycamore Street, 216-862-8803, greaterclevelandaquarium.com
Crocker Park Wine Festival
This annual ticketed two-day event celebrates wine from around the world and benefits University Hospitals Rainbow Babies & Children’s Hospital in the process. It’ll feature more than 150 wineries as well as live music. It starts at 4 p.m. today and at 2 p.m. tomorrow. 189 Crocker Park Blvd., Westlake, crockerpark.com
Guardians vs. Chicago White Sox
The Guards take on the last place Chicago White Sox in a three-game series that goes through Sunday. This year, the White Sox remain in last place, but they’re much better than last year’s historically bad team. Tonight’s first pitch is at 7:10.
Progressive Field, 2401 Ontario St., 216-420-4487, mlb.com/guardians
Gabriel Rutledge
Winner of both the Seattle International Comedy Competition and the Laughing Skull Comedy Festival in Atlanta, this comedian is known for his “quick thinking” comedy. His show at the Hanna Theatre begins at 8p.m. 2067 East 14th St., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org
SAT 09/13
Free Hispanic Heritage Month Concert
The annual event returns to Severance Music Hall. The show begins at 7 p.m.
A local Latin jazz favorite, Sammy DeLeon y su Orquesta, will perform, and Margarita DeLeon will host. 11001 Euclid Ave., 216-231-1111, clevelandorchestra.com
Waterloo Arts Fest
The Waterloo Arts Fest serves to celebrate the Waterloo Arts & Entertainment District’s appeal. This year’s fest, which takes place from noon until 7 p.m. on Waterloo Road between East 161st Street and Calcutta Avenue, features more of the same mix of music, food and art that has made this into the neighborhood’s signature event. waterlooarts.org
SUN 09/14
Reggae Sundays
This special Reggae Sunday Happy Hour Concert series is a summer highlight. The indoor/outdoor concert series will take place rain or shine with live music from 4 to 7 p.m. at the Music Box. The venue will also offer food and drink specials exclusive to the series. 1148 Main Ave., 216-242-1250, musicboxcle.com
MON 09/15
Greater Cleveland Food Bank’s 27th annual Taste of the Browns
Honorary co-chairs of this annual fundraiser presented include All-Pro Guard Joel Bitonio, Browns icon Hanford Dixon and celebrity chef Rocco Whalen of Fahrenheit. The event takes place from
6 to 9 p.m. in the 7UP City Club at Huntington Bank Field
100 Alfred Lerner Way, 440-891-5000, huntingtonbankfield
TUE 09/16
Outlab: Experiments in Improvised Music
Musicians are invited to bring instruments or any sound making device (drum kit and keyboard provided) that can be used to explore collective group improvisation. Please bring your own amps if needed. The monthly session begins at 8 tonight at the Bop Stop. Admission is free.
2920 Detroit Ave., 216-771-6551, themusicsettlement.org
WED 09/17
The 10 X 3 Songwriter Band Showcase Hosted by Brent Kirby
The concept of 10x3 is a pre-arranged line up with 10 songwriters/bands performing three songs each. Two of the them required to be original, and the third can be the artist’s choice. Local singer-songwriter Brent Kirby hosts the event, which runs from 7 to 9 tonight at the Bop Stop. Admission is free.
2920 Detroit Ave., 216-771-6551, themusicsettlement.org
The Crocker Park Wine Festival returns. See: Friday, Sept. 12. | Courtesy Photo
THU 09/18
Bob Marley
Comic Bob Marley doesn’t play reggae, but he does sing out of his butt. Like the time his wife put him on the Atkins Diet and, he reports, the “assflac” duck flew out his butt as he hovered over the toilet with bacon grease dripping from his eyelashes. Yeah, this guy is not above fart jokes. The show starts at 7 tonight at Hilarities and performances run through Saturday.
2035 East Fourth St., 216-2417425, pickwickandfrolic.com
FRI 09/19
Heights Music Hop
FutureHeights, a nonprofit community development corporation, presents new, local music in the vibrant, walkable business districts of Cleveland Heights. Performances will take place today, tomorrow and Sunday both inside area businesses as well as on outdoor stages throughout the districts. Consult the website for more info.
heightsmusichop.com
Third Friday
From 5 to 9 p.m., many of the 78th Street Studios resident artist studios and galleries will be open as part of this monthly event. There will be live music, and Local West, a Gordon Square sandwich shop, will serve food. BARneo will have a selection of adult beverages as well. Admission is free.
1300 West 78th St., 78thstreetstudios.com
SAT 09/20
Cleveland Pickle Fest
From sweet and spicy to dill, all shapes, sizes and flavors of pickled cucumbers are included in this free, family-friendly event. Restaurants from around Cleveland are set to offer up all kinds of pickle-themed dishes at this event that also includes live music. Gates open at 11 a.m.
clevelandpicklefest.com
The Cost of Love
Set in a New York apartment, this play follows a couple trying to deal with betrayal. Tonight’s performance takes place at 7 at the Mimi Ohio Theatre.
1511 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org
Plush Party
Every third Saturday of each month between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m., Cleveland Museum of Art hosts this event that
offers a firsthand look at the art-making process. Each session provides the opportunity to “engage and interact” with a different Northeast Ohio maker during pop-up demonstrations and activities. Admission is free. 11150 East Blvd., 216-421-7350, clevelandart.org
SUN 09/21
Browns vs. Green Bay Packers
At 1 p.m. at Huntington Bank Field, the Browns hope to start the season off strong as they take on the Green Bay Packers, a team that’s regularly competitive. Should be a good early season test. Kickoff is at 1 p.m.
100 Alfred Lerner Way, 440-891-5000, huntingtonbankfield.com
Kurtis Conner: The Goodfellow World Tour
The podcaster and performer brings his world tour to the Mimi Ohio Theatre. Conner reportedly has more than five million subscribers worldwide; tonight’s show starts at 7.
1511 Euclid Ave., 216-241-6000, playhousesquare.org
MON 09/22
Memorial Monday
Every Monday through September, Fort Huntington Park hosts food tracks and live music between 11:30 a.m. and 1:30 p.m. for this special event. Admission is free, but the food will cost you.
West 3rd St. and West Lakeside Ave., downtowncleveland.com
TUE 09/23
Lyrical Rhythms Open Mic and Chill
This long-running open mic night at the B Side allows some of the city’s best rappers and poets to strut their stuff. The event begins at 8 with a comedy session dubbed 2 Drinks & a Joke with host Ant Morrow. The open mic performances begin at 10 p.m. 2785 Euclid Heights Blvd., Cleveland Heights, 216-932-1966, bsideliquorlounge.com
EAT
SECOND HOME
By Douglas Trattner
THE OLD NIGHTTOWN HAD A SNEAKY way of turning moments into hours. A true neighborhood pub, it was the type of place you’d pop into at happy hour for a quick drink with a mate. But one round often turned into two, so the prudent thing to do was to order a quick appetizer. And then, just as you were about to settle up and sally, other friends invariably would roll in, turning that brief meet-up into a full-fledged outing. The next thing you know it’s 10:30 p.m. and you’ve Irish-goodbyed the gang because they showed no signs of letting up.
That situation never happened to me at the new Nighttown, the lukewarm revival from the Red Restaurant Group, but it certainly has at Edwins. Since moving in, Brandon Chrostowski not only has found the ideal new home for his mission-based restaurant, he also has rekindled the soul and spirit of the building. In hindsight, there was no better outcome for the property than the one we now enjoy.
The true beauty of Edwins lies in its range and flexibility. Under one roof there are multiple bars, dining rooms, menus and vibes. Where one sits on the property determines whether he or she will be ordering off a brasserie menu, fine-dining menu or smaller bar menu. Sundays usher in a family friendly buffet brunch.
There may be no prettier sight than the freshly installed raw bar in the main pub. No fewer than a dozen varieties of East and West Coast oysters are displayed on a shimmering bed of ice. After being shucked to order, our mixed dozen ($30) arrived on a large silver platter with mignonette, house hot sauce and fresh lemon. Also on the ice-covered tray were plump, perfectly poached shrimp cocktail ($12) and sauce. We paired the seafood with glasses of unoaked chardonnay ($9) and French sauvignon blanc ($8).
It’s surprising how at home Edwins’ brasserie dishes feel at this famed Irish pub. Our table quickly filled with plates
After the roller-coaster ride that we all endured – one that included the abrupt closure of a Cleveland Heights landmark, a four-year wait for a refurbished replacement, and the subsequent collapse in one quarter of that time – the transition to Edwins has been a breath of fresh air. Chrostowski’s outsized personality fills every nook and cranny of the meandering place, the food feels uniquely suited to the rooms, live jazz has returned to the stage, and people are eagerly filling the seats.
of steak tartare ($14), potato and ham croquettes ($9) and frog legs ($15). Bombarded with heaps of garlic, butter and fresh parsley, the frog legs have made the journey from Shaker Square unscathed. The croquettes are warm, crisp and comforting, but the tartare is too finely minced for our taste.
Those plates were soon replaced by others bearing chicken paillard ($23), braised beef short ribs ($25) and steak frites ($33), three satisfying and agreeably priced dishes. Covered in dark, rich gravy, the braised beef and truffle mash will be a popular winter item. If the chicken was pounded any thinner, it would land in a different dimension. It is lightly breaded, pan-fried and paired with green beans and pomme puree. Cleveland’s best steak frites now resides in Cleveland Heights, where expertly grilled strip steak is sliced, paired with a mountain of crisp fries and laid to rest in a pool of decadent Bearnaise.
Diners in search of a more upscale experience should book a table in the main dining room, where a menu offers a choice between a la carte dishes or multi-course tasting menus. The latter requires a table-wide commitment. This is where you’ll find Edwins chest-
nuts like foie gras terrine, Maine lobster salad, seafood sausage, duck confit, bouillabaisse, horseradish-crusted salmon and others.
Few operators are as comfortable as Chrostowski pivoting from gilded seven-course tasting menus with wine pairings to smoke-filled cigar and burger nights on the patio. The chef and host glides between the two worlds, often within the same hour, with confidence and comfort. One moment he’s easing the cork from a rare bottle of Burgundy, the next he’s cracking open oysters with the speed and skill of a Big Easy lifer.
A pleaser at heart, Chrostowski continues to check things off our collective wish list. Happy hours are back and better than ever, with steals and deals on beer, wine, cocktails and food. Late-night dining is back, with service stretching past midnight most nights. And live music is back, both in the form of free weekend sessions as well as select ticketed events curated by Dominick Farinacci. What more can one ask for?
Photo by Doug Trattner
BITES
First Look: Lola’s
Bistro, now open in Chagrin Falls
By Douglas Trattner
RICK DOODY HAS JUST UNVEILED his newest restaurant, and like all of his projects, this latest one was done with no shortcuts -- and it shows. Over the past year and a half, Doody and his team have transformed the former Bell & Flower/Rick’s Cafe property in Chagrin Falls into a breezy, elegant and easygoing French bistro. The name, Lola’s Bistro (86 N. Main St.), is an homage to the owner’s beloved Bernedoodle.
The transformation from Bell & Flower to Lola’s Bistro is extraordinary. What was once an alley patio on the north side of the building has been converted to interior space, blending seamlessly with the main dining room. A massive skylight floods the room with natural light. The new space connects to the original footprint through an expansive brick opening. There, a gorgeous wooden bar flanked by posh banquettes stretch to the rear. A dining room at the front of the restaurant features accordion-style windows that open to the sidewalk outside.
Lola’s Bistro joins JoJo’s Bar, Bar Fuoco and 17 River Grille, Doody’s other Chagrin Falls eateries. Doody also operates, under the NCR Ventures umbrella, Bar Italia, Cedar Creek Grille and the Lakehouse. But unlike all of those concepts, this one is fearlessly French.
“The company wanted to do a French concept but we wanted to make it more laid back like a bistro and not a brasserie,” says GM Joseph Deininger.
Culinary Director Michael Dei Maggi, along with executive chef Michael Herschman, have crafted a menu filled with approachable, familiar French classics that cover all the bases. Diners can start with onion soup gratinee, escargot with garlic butter and steak tartare before moving on to Nicoise or Lyonnaise salads.
For the main event, there is trout
amandine, chicken cordon bleu, coq au vin and braised short rib with pomme puree. Steak frites stars a grilled bavette and fries with a choice of sauces such as Béarnaise, horseradish cream or fois bordelaise. There is also a lobster frites that swaps the red meat for a split lobster.
Plats du jour glide from beef bourguignon to cassoulet to whole roast chicken to lobster thermidor and finally, on Friday, to bouillabaisse.
Despite its French pedigree, Lola’s is a neighborhood-friendly bar and restaurant, stresses management.
“We want this to be very walk-in friendly,” says Tim Davin, Director of Operations.
To that end, only half of the 150 seats will be open to reservations with the balance being set aside for walkin guests. When seated, those guests will be presented not with a round of Lake Erie’s finest, but with a boozy amuse bouche.
“We’re not going to greet diners with water,” adds Davin, “we’re going to greet them with tiny tinis.”
Presented on a tray, those 1.5-ounce, “dirty and bruised” vodka martinis are served up but they’re not free, he clarifies.
Those wee bevvies are joined by other classic cocktails, wines by the glass and bottle, and a handful of beers and ciders.
Lola’s Bistro will serve lunch and dinner from the start, with weekend brunch to join in the near future.
Cordelia Chef-Partner Vinnie Cimino Named One of Food & Wine Mag’s Best New Chefs
The latest class of Food & Wine magazine’s Best New Chefs has just been announced and Cleveland’s Vinnie Cimino is on the list. Only 10 chefs from across the nation are honored with such a distinction each year, a list of talent that the magazine’s editors describe as, “the most dynamic and promising up-and-coming chefs in the country.”
Cimino joins a very small Cleveland club that includes Michael Symon and Jonathon Sawyer, both of whom made the cover of that annual roundup of national talent.
“For 37 years, Food & Wine editors have traveled the country in search of America’s most exciting emerging culinary talents. From Philadelphia to Phoenix and beyond, a new generation of chefs is redefining American dining by transforming personal histories into deeply expressive dishes. The result is food that’s inventive yet nostalgic, that honors the past while looking to the future. This year’s class reflects a clear shift: Chefs are putting their histories at the center of the plate.”
Cordelia (2058 East 4th St., 216230-2355), which opened three years ago on East 4th Street, has been on the receiving end of countless honors and accolades. Along with co-owner Andrew Watts, Cimino has propelled Midwest cookery and hospitality into
the national spotlight. The chef’s food, rooted in family and tradition, continues to resonate with both homegrown diners and visitors.
In 2024, Cimino was a James Beard Award Finalist in the Best Chef: Great Lakes category. This year, he was named as a James Beard semifinalist.
About Cimino’s cooking, the editors of Food & Wine stated, “Cordelia is Cimino’s heart on his sleeve, an unabashed homage to Cleveland, the Midwest, and the people who make the region so special. When he talks about the restaurant, Cimino centers the conversation on the community.”
In response to all the recent recognition, Cimino said, “After 17-plus years of grinding—the road was never straight, the nights were always long—I am grateful for every damn bit of it. Cooking is a team sport, and I would be nothing without my incredible team at Cordelia. You inspire and push me to be a better chef, leader, and human every single day. Most importantly, the biggest thanks goes to my wife and kids— my biggest supporters through the ups and downs and my reason for everything. I’m humbled and grateful to represent Cleveland & Akron and to keep pushing our community forward.”
Cimino and Watts will soon expand their portfolio when they open a second restaurant in the Hingetown neighborhood of Ohio City. That restaurant is expected to open later this fall.
dtrattner@clevescene.com @dougtrattner
Photo by Doug Trattner
MAD! WORLD MUSIC
Sparks singer reflects on group’s long history of musical experimentation
By Jeff Niesel
EARLIER THIS YEAR, THE POP duo Sparks, the 50+ year project of brothers Ron and Russel Mael, released their “undeniably triumphant” 28th studio album, MAD! It’s another fine collection of offbeat synth-driven tunes with funny lyrics about the idiosyncrasies of human behavior.
The group emerged as a musical force in the 1970s when the glammy “This Town Ain’t Big Enough for Both of Us” became a hit and has never gone out of fashion. Extremely prolific, the band has released eight new studio albums in the last 20 years. It’s also put out a radio opera, formed a side-project (the Franz Ferdinand collaboration FFS), released a live album, written a film musical (2021’s Annette) and delivered several compilations.
Edgar Wright’s 2021 documentary film, The Sparks Brothers, helped reignite interest in the group. Ahead of a Monday, Sept. 15, stop at the Agora, singer Russel Mael talked about the band’s remarkable history in a Zoom call from his Los Angeles home.
I saw the 2021 documentary, The Sparks Brothers, with some friends of mine who didn’t know much about the band. We all loved it. Did you anticipate the movie would reintroduce the band in the way that it did?
We were incredibly excited that a director like Edgar Wright would want to dedicate three years of his life to a movie about Sparks. It was something initially we didn’t know what the re -
Sparks | 8 p.m | Monday, Sept. 15 | The Agora 5000 Euclid Ave. | 216-881-2221 | Tickets: $47.20+ |
sults would be, but we had confidence in him to do a good job and make an appropriate film about the band. We discussed it with him and his ability as a filmmaker and his sensibility as a filmmaker was on the same page as Sparks is in so many ways. His knowledge of the band and excitement was to an extreme that we thought that if he could translate that in a filmic way, it would be interesting. We didn’t anticipate it would have that emotional effect on people. The reaction was unexpected but in a really great way.
Have other people tried to make films about the band in the past?
There have been a couple who approached us before. They were people who didn’t have the same understanding of what Sparks is that Edgar Wright has. He really captured the essence of what the band is. It’s not from one era in the past. It’s a continuum. What Sparks is doing now is equally as valid as what Sparks has done in any other point in its career. Other directors might have thought that, but they couldn’t verbalize it in the way that Edgar could. Maybe they thought that but couldn’t articulate it. He sees Sparks in a broader way. It’s a continuum, and some of the best work is being done now. That kind of approach is something that no one other than Edgar has presented to us, so it made sense to go with Edgar.
Did you have that mentality from
the start?
To us, it’s obvious. We don’t understand if there is anyone in a band that doesn’t see things in that same way. You’re in a creative field. That’s what you do. You do it to push things forward every time you start a new project and excite yourself. You try not to rehash what you have done in the past. You try to retain those idiosyncrasies and characteristics that made you unique. It’s something innate in our genes. It’s not something we have had to try to do.
Todd Rundgren worked with the band early on. How’d you wind up working with him?
We sent tapes to every label. We sent tapes to every label. We sent one to Todd as well. He was the one person out of all the labels that rejected our early demos who was of a completely different mindset. He thought that what we were doing was unique and special and needed to be released. He signed us to his label Bearsville for our first album, and he produced it. If it weren’t for Todd, we would probably not be doing what we are doing. It took another artist.
Talk about what you wanted to do differently with your new album, MAD! It’s just the case with every record that you want to do something that will be undeniable to anybody that bothers to listen to it. We don’t want to leave people on the fence. It’s 100 percent
embracing or maybe not getting it. The people who bother to listen to it can see the intention was to do something striking lyrically and musically. That was the main objective if there is an objective. We wanted to do something that doesn’t sound like a band with 28 albums.
What will the live show coming up here at TempleLive at the Cleveland Masonic be like?
We want it to be a life-changing experience for the audience. That is the only objective. Having as many songs to draw from as we do becomes the difficult challenge. We want to present the MAD! album and not have it be an afterthought. We focus on the new album, but we have 28 albums, and our shows tend to be 21 or 22 songs, so some albums get shortchanged. We manage to come up with some unexpected choices that stand on their own. We think that anything we do live is of a single piece, and it doesn’t sound like older songs and newer songs. If someone comes as a casual spectator and doesn’t know the history, they wouldn’t necessarily know if the songs were from one of the first 28 albums or from the new album. That presentation and the spirit of the band does not dictate the era of when the songs are from when you hear them sonically.
The Sparks brothers continue to innovate. | Courtesy of PitchPerfect PR
LIVEWIRE
WED 09/10
Deftones: North America Tour 2025
The rejuvenated ‘90s group comes to Rocket Arena. Later this month, the group will release its 10th full-length studio album, private music. The first single, “my mind is a mountain,” features the heavy guitars and vocals that shift from whispers to screams. As always, you can expect frontman Chino Moreno to captivate the crowd. The show begins at 7 p.m., and the terrific British post-punk band IDLES opens.
One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketarena.com
THU
09/11
The Australian Pink Floyd Show: Wish You Were Here 50th Anniversary
The Aussie tribute act comes to TempleLive at the Cleveland Masonic. The concert begins at 8 p.m. The show celebrates Pink Floyd’s 60th anniversary as well as the 50th anniversary of the seminal album Dark Side of the Moon. Expect some serious visual, including a world-class light and laser show, video animations and high-resolution LED screen technology. And yes, there will be inflatables.
3615 Euclid Ave., 216-881-6350, masoniccleveland.com
Eric Clapton
The great British blues singer-guitarist returns to Cleveland to perform at Rocket Arena. Now 80, Clapton famously got his start with the Yardbirds before joining supergroups John Mayall & the Bluesbreakers and Cream, arguably the best rock power trio ever. He’s had solo hits with tunes such as “Tears in Heaven” and “Change the World.” The show begins at 7:30 p.m. One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketarena.com
REAL MUSIC IN THE REAL WORLD
Conan Gray: The Wishbone Pajama Show
“This Song,” a single from singer-songwriter Conan Gray’s album Wishbone, displays the way Gray explores the depths of his feelings in his intimate tunes. Gray wrote all of the songs on Wishbone from his bedroom and reunited with Grammy-winning collaborator Dan Nigro, who produced the album. He performs at 8 p.m. at Blossom. Singer-songwriter and producer Hemlocke Springs opens the show.
1145 W. Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, 216-231-1111, livenation.com
Malcolm Todd
Famous for bedroom pop tracks such as “Art House” and “Roommates,” singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist Malcolm Todd comes to the Agora tonight at 8. He’s just released a deluxe version of his debut album, Malcolm Todd (Still).
5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com
FRI 09/12
Garbage
The ‘90s alternative rock act led by singer Shirley Manson comes to the Agora on what it says will be its last big North American tour. The group emerged in the ‘90s when its self-titled debut delivered hits such as “Stupid Girl” and “Only Happy When It Rains.” Its latest effort, Let All That We Imagine Be Light, came out earlier this year. The show starts at 8 p.m., and Starcrawler opens.
5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com
Summer Jam
The annual Z 107.9 FM concert rolls into Rocket Arena. It features GloRilla, Kash Doll, Big Boogie, Jacquees, Queen Key. Notably, Memphis-based GloRilla garnered a Grammy nod for her 2022 single “F.N.F. (Let’s Go),” a tune with ratcheting synths and aggressive vocals. The show begins at 7:30 p.m.
One Center Court, 216-420-2000, rocketarena.com
SAT 09/13
Alex G
The singer-songwriter with a DIY approach performs at 7 p.m. at the Agora.
He released his home-recorded label debut, DSU, in 2014 and received all kinds of critical acclaim for his ninth album, 2022’s God Save the Animals. Nilüfer Yanya opens.
5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com
The Story So Far
The punk band headlines a bill that includes Neck Deep, Origami, Angel and Pain of Truth. The tour supports the group’s fifth studio album, I Want To Disappear. The emotionally charged songs on it recount the passing of singer Patrick Cannon’s father. The show starts at 6 p.m. at Jacobs Pavilion.
2014 Sycamore St., 216-861-4080, jacobspavilion.com
Weird Al Yankovic
The singer-songwriter known for his hilarious parodies comes to Blossom. Over the years, Weird Al has taken popular tunes from the likes of Michael Jackson, Nirvana and Coolio and transformed them with whimsical lyrics and creative music videos. His live show is particularly theatrical. The concert begins at 7:30 p.m.
1145 W. Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, 216-231-1111, livenation.com
TUE 09/16
Marilyn Manson
The Canton-born shock rocker brings his One Assassination Under God Tour to House of Blues. The controversial musician has recently been accused of sexual misconduct; his European tour was met with protestors in some cities. The current U.S. tour supports his new album, last year’s One Assassination Under God – Chapter 1. Doors open at 7 p.m.
308 Euclid Ave., 216-523-2583, houseofblues.com
Waxahatchee
The indie act formed by singer-songwriter Katie Crutchfield back in 2010. The group recently received a Grammy nomination for its 2024 album, Tigers Blood, twangy tunes that reflect Crutchfield’s Southern roots. The group performs at 8 p.m. at The Roxy at Mahall’s.
13200 Madison Ave., 216-521-3280, mahalls20lanes.com
WED
09/17
The Doobie Brothers with the Coral Reefer Band
The classic rock group returns to Blossom with the Coral Reefer Band, the group that used to back the late Jimmy Buffett. The Doobies just released Walk This Road. The album’s rousing title track pairs them with Mavis Staples. The show begins at 7 p.m. 1145 W. Steels Corners Rd., Cuyahoga Falls, 216-231-1111, livenation.com
FRI 09/19
An Evening with David Byrne — Who Is the Sky Tour
The Talking Heads frontman brings his Who Is the Sky Tour to the Akron Civic. The tour supports Byrne’s new album of the same name. It finds him in great form and features collaborations with Hayley Williams, St. Vincent and Tom Skinner. The show starts at 8 p.m. 182 South Main St., Akron, 330-253-2488, akroncivic.com
SAT 09/20
Steven Wilson: The Overview Tour 2025
The innovative musician performs at 8 tonight at MGM Northfield Park — Center Stage. His new album, The Overview, features only two songs that show off his experimental approach to music. The bleeps and blips recall the heady albums that Brian Eno put out in the 1970s.
10705 Northfield Rd., Northfield, 330-908-7793, mgmnorthfieldpark. mgmresorts.com/en.html
SUN 09/21
The Darkness
The British hard rock group that had a huge radio hit with “Thing Called Love” comes to the Agora on tour in support of its new album, Dreams on Toast. The group stretches out and does a bit of everything on the new LP, delivering glam punk with “I Hate Myself” and embracing old school country music with “Cold Hearted Woman.” Doors open at 7 p.m.
5000 Euclid Ave., 216-881-2221, agoracleveland.com
jniesel@clevescene.com @jniesel
The Deftones come to Rocket Arena. See: Wednesday, Sept. 10. Courtesy of Jimmy Fontaine
SAVAGE LOVE QUICKIES
by Dan Savage
1. How do I ensure an HSV-2-positive new partner is taking their meds to reduce transmission risk?
In a high-trust relationship, you trust your partner to take their meds. In a low-trust relationship, you insist on your partner taking their meds in front of you or sending you a video of them taking their meds.
2. I’m a gay male in San Francisco. I’m a bit of a show-off and need some advice on easy and appropriate ways to share my content. OnlyFans feels too elaborate and “Close Friends” on Instagram comes with content restrictions. What’s the best way to share my spicy pics/vids with an interested audience?
I keep reading that BlueSky is dying or dead — or that’s what I keep reading on Twitter — but BlueSky seems to be the “showing off” app of choice for gay men who are sick of Mark Zuckerberg’s puritanical bullshit and don’t want to be associated with Elon Musk’s authoritarian bullshit.
3. Why do gay women love watching porn with gay men? I do. I’m not alone either. Why?
Julianne Moore explained it best in The Kids Are Alright.
4. Have you heard the term “sparkle straight”?
Straight men who hung out with gay men — and seem a little faggy themselves — used to be called “fruit flies.” But “fag hags” and “fruit flies” were both considered derogatory, and they’ve been phased out in favor of the less interesting but more inclusive “sparkle straight.”
5. My spouse has short hair, which I love. I am the one straight man who likes short hair. The issue is that I love to pull her hair during doggy style intercourse. She also loves to have her hair pulled in this position. The issue is that it’s hard to get a grip on her short hair. I would really like to find out if there are any types of clamp-on hair extensions that will stay securely in place while giving it a strong tug. Is there some product out there that can help us make hair pulling a little easier?
If your spouse doesn’t wanna grow her hair out — and liking to have your hair pulled in your favorite sex position seems like a huge incentive to me — she could get a weave. But weaves, as we’ve all seen on our favorite reality TV programs, can be yanked off someone’s head pretty easily. So, maybe you should go with a nice head harness instead?
6. How do I make more precum? Is it possible?
You stay hydrated, you take supplements that promise to increase the amount of precum for their actual benefits and/or their placebo effects (which, when they occur, are actually beneficial), and you hope for the best.
7. My male partner has an outie butthole. He doesn’t like to talk about it but wants to engage in butt play. I let him know I haven’t seen one like his before and could use some guidance on what to do or not to do, but he doesn’t know either. Any suggestions?
“When people say, ‘outie butthole,’ they’re usually describing hemorrhoids that prolapse — come in and out — or extra skin stretched from chronic hemorrhoids,” said Dr. Evan Goldstein, a proctologist, anal sex and health expert, and the founder and CEO of Bespoke Surgical. “The most important thing is whether it causes symptoms — pain, bleeding, or problems with bowel movements. If it doesn’t, there’s no reason to avoid anal play. Use plenty of lube (preferably silicone), start slow, and consider using quality anal dilators to help the body adjust comfortably. If irritation or swelling becomes an issue, it’s worth seeing a sexual health specialist for treatment options. My practice is always available for telemedicine sessions, and in-person evaluations and management. Honestly, many people start by sending me ‘outie hole’ pics to figure out the best next steps via Instagram.”
You can follow Dr. Goldstein on Instagram — and send him your outie pics — @drevangoldstein.
8. How do I know if I’m ready for a threesome?
You picture your partner fucking the shit out of someone else — right in front of you — with the same enthusiasm that they used to fuck the shit out of you: desperately swallowing that other person’s tongue, eating that other person out like they haven’t had a meal in weeks, etc. If that picture turns you on, you’re ready. If that picture doesn’t do anything for you, you’re not ready. If that picture enrages you, you will never be ready.
9. Sex life with new partner is completely unsatisfactory. How do I tell them?
You no doubt hesitate to tell your new partner that the sex is bad because you’re worried about derailing the rela -
tionship. But you’re not going to wanna stay in the relationship — you’re not going to wanna fuck this person for the rest of your life — if the sex doesn’t improve. Right now, your partner is guessing at what you want and they’re guessing wrong. If you tell them what you need and what you want, they don’t have to guess, and you might actually get what you want.
10. How do I get over my partner talking to other women while being okay with trying ENM?
If the thought of your partner talking with other women is upsetting — just talking with other women — you’re not ready for ENM.
11. What do I say to be more vocal as a very shy girl in bed?
These are my trademarked tips for dirty talk beginners: Tell them what you’re gonna do (“I’m going to fuck the shit out of you”), tell them what you’re doing (“I am fucking the shit out of you”), tell them what you did (“I fucked the shit out of you”). People get self-conscious about dirty talk because they think they need to spin out some elaborate fantasy. You don’t. Simple statements of fact are all you need.
12. Is it weird to have sex with your dog watching?
Not if, like us, your dogs were required to sign NDAs.
13. Should I send my college-aged, adult children Magnum Subscriptions to the Savage Lovecast?
All responsible parents do.
14. Best sites for newbies to get into online sex work? I’m up for selling used panties, no photos or camming.
Very few people are interested in buying the used panties or the sweaty jock straps of people they can’t see. So, if you’re not willing to show your face in photos or do cam work, there’s not going to be much of a market for your panties.
15. My boyfriend wants to stop using condoms because we’re monogamous and I should trust him. Thing is, I don’t trust him. DTMFA.
16. My girlfriend and I love mutual masturbation. Is it cheating if we livestream a session for strangers? We wouldn’t show our faces.
If you don’t think it’s cheating… and your girlfriend doesn’t think it’s cheating… then it’s not cheating whether or not your faces can be seen. But I have a hunch your girlfriend does think it’s cheating (or an unacceptable “soft” opening up of your relationship), otherwise you’d be livestreaming a mutual masturbation session right now and not sending an email to a sex-advice columnist.
17. A guy I know in real life — a guy I am not interested in — keeps trying to connect with me on the apps. I’ve blocked him on Scruff, but he just creates new profiles. More frustrating, he’ll use anonymous profiles on Sniffies to message me, pretending to be someone else. I’ve tried discussing it with him in person, but he refuses to talk about it. It’s annoying, but not to the point where legal action seems warranted. Is there anything I can do?
If you can get this asshole’s address, you could send him a registered letter telling him to stop contacting you. If he persists, you can take him to court — along with a copy of that letter and printouts from your accounts on Scruff and Sniffies — and try to get a restraining order against him. But it’ll cost a fortune, it might not work, and your profiles on Scruff, Sniffies, Grindr, etc., will become public record. My advice: keep blocking and hope he finds someone else to obsess over.
18. I’m a 34-year-old woman, married for the last seven years. Lately, I’ve lost all interest in sex. My husband still initiates it, but I decline—and I can see him getting discouraged. I love him, I’m still attracted to him, but how do I fix this aspect? Help!
“Our personal interest in sex is based on the amount of reward we get from it,” said Hannah Johnson, a sex educator and coach who specializes in helping women in relationships increase libido and enjoy sex. “If you’re not interested in it anymore, it’s because it’s not rewarding enough for you to want it. Ask yourself, ‘What would need to happen in sex to make it worth doing over everything else?’”
Hannah “The Libido Fairy” Johnson shares her educational content on Instagram (where she’s closing in on 500K followers!) and YouTube. Her website is www.libidofairy.com.
19. My partner wants me to spit in his mouth during sex. It grosses me out. Help me get over it.
If you’re making out with your partner during sex, he’s already spitting in your mouth — just very, very slowly. Keeping that in mind might help you get over the disgust you feel when he spits in your mouth very, very quickly.
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