CULTURE MAGAZINE IV EDITION

CULTURE magazine by grasping roots Counsel from SA President saphire ruiz

"WE SHOULD WORK TOGETHER" FACULTY VIEWS ON AAPI VIOLENCE

COVID and COPING

a word with the wellness center

SPRING 2021

Our missions is to highlight the vital components of the Black, Brown, and Asian communities of color on college campuses. These components are defined by the cuturally-embedded perspective of our shared historical experiences, including a distinct artistic expression, nuanced academic pursuits, and culturally-guided intellectual engagements. As an outlet for news, knowledge, art and entertainment, this magazine seeks to empower these communities by supplying members with a reminder of the core cultural narratives that distinguish these individuals as unique and powerful.

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Editor's Note

Covid-19 Community Responses

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An Unprecedented Year:

Reflecting wtith SA President Saphire Ruiz

Mental Health Community Responses

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"AcAdAmiA"

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"Transportation Peace"

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"i bake cookies"

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Covid and Coping: A Word with the Wellness Center

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Preserving the Body, Preserving the Culture

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Contributions

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"Breonna Taylor"

Justice Community Responses

AAPI: Perpetual Outsiders

"Dear Colonizer"

"Shutter"

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"Sometime Soon"

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"Ode to Blackness"

C O N T E N T

EDITOR'S NOTE Our magazine’s founders have left our campus with an incomparable treasure. In the words of Culture’s previous editors, “Grasping Roots is Hamilton’s only publication created by students of color, for students of color. Dedicated to providing a platform for the intellectual and artistic expression of Hamilton’s cultural agents, this magazine stands above and beyond in highlighting the unique creativity and individuality of Hamilton’s students of color.”

As this issue’s editor-in-chief, when members of the Hamilton community asked me what Culture was, I would confidently inform them that as a publication Culture aims to represent, and embody, an amplification vessel for marginalized voices on campus. After the unparalleled events of 2020, our voices are in dire need of emphasis. As the whole world battles the coronavirus, minorities continue to be affected disproportionately--despite the virus’ lack of discrimination.

We continue to witness the merciless murders of Black Americans, the senseless crimes against AAPI, encouraged by a racist former President, as well as the biased distribution of vaccines in Black and Brown neighborhoods. This issue of Culture works to link our pride and pain in the face of this pandemic. Our mission is especially important in this present moment, considering the normalization of isolation in the past year.

The collection of photography, poetry, prose, and experience encompassed in this magazine represent the realities of the minority identity during this time, both its horrors and beauty. Allow us to guide you through representative themes of our critical experiences during Covid’s era, that our allies can relate to as well, including racial injustice and mental health awareness. As I worked alongside the eboard to produce this issue, I have felt the unifying influence of Culture first hand. Though many members of our publishing team and I are not currently on campus, the contents of these pages aid in the expansion of our community across Clinton's borders. I encourage you to read every word of this magazine and absorb all emotions evoked. Share Culture to your friends, family, and peers to spread the messages that our students uncover to provoke meaningful discussion on and beyond our Hill.

It is my utmost pleasure to present the fourth edition of Grasping Roots’ Culture Magazine. Keep an eye out for us next semester!

Best, Jahmali Iman Matthews '22 Grasping Roots' Editor-in-Chief 4

How has the pandemic influenced any of your life philosophies or plans for the future?

The pandemic made me think about life differently. I spent so much time in my head and I started to understand my own position as a POC better, as well as what’s required of me to achieve what I want. -ANON The pandemic made me realize that there is much more to life than just being a student. As much as I like to pretend that I don't get stressed out by school, much of my time is spent scheduling social gatherings and even "me-time" around my classes and assignments. Losing loved ones, experiencing higher levels of anxiety, and restricting myself from visiting friends made me realize that I should ACTUALLY live every single day like it is my last-- even if that means sitting in a room, in silence, with my closest loved ones. -ANON

I am a first generation immigrant and the pandemic made it harder for my parents to get employment since they lost their jobs back in 2019 when the Homestead Shelter for Unaccompanied Minors closed due to the blatant xenophobia of the Trump administration. This shelter helps unaccompanied minors at the border apply for asylum by reconnecting them with a sponsor or family member in the US that can get their asylum case through. My family was given pandemic unemployment benefits which helped them pay for food, electricity, and rent during the pandemic. However on the last month of the Trump administration the Florida Department of Economic Opportunity asked for these benefits back by claiming that my families employment was not directly impacted by the pandemic. Now my unemployed family owes the US government 6k that were given at a time of dire need. The pandemic has reassured my thoughts of hopelessness when it comes to the American welfare state. I hate that I think this but I wonder if these benefits would have been rescinded if my parents were not fifty five and sixty year old immigrants. -MAP 22' The pandemic made me realize that I should not take life so seriously. In terms of social relationships and the pressures of society, everything can crumble at any moment. So instead of sitting here worried about the future, or what this person thinks about me, let me enjoy this moment. The pandemic robbed me of my study abroad to Ghana, so now I HAVE to make a trip to Accra in my twenties. -JM 22' It cut my study abroad short and I won't be traveling for a while, but aside from that, the pandemic hasn't really changed my plans for the future. -ANON 6

An Unprecedented Year: Reflecting with SA President Saphire Ruiz

By Shania Kuo

Attending college a year into a pandemic, along with isolation, piles of assignments, and social unrest, has proved to be a stressful breeding ground for students. The Student Assembly’s role has become absolutely necessary in advocating for a healthy environment for students to thrive in. Serving as a liaison between students and the administration, Student Assembly President Saphire Ruiz ‘22 has been hard at work, advocating for their goals for a culture prioritizing mental health care and support amongst the student body. However, serving as our liaison, doesn’t mean that the goals of the administration and the Student Assembly align.

One such example is the Audit and Action Council. Saphire heavily advocated for the Council, which has been a growing topic of contention and confusion. Saphire originally worked with the Advisory Council, but grew frustrated with the council’s lack of student representation and the usage of BLSU’s name without prior discussion.What resulted was the Audit and Action Council, created in response to disheartened sentiments of students, faculty, staff, and alumni, especially with how the Advisory Council had taken on a dismissive attitude towards the student concern. While the Audit and Action Council has not communicated with the Advisory Council as a whole since their refusal to heed the Audit and Action Council’srequests, the Audit and Action Council has been communicating with individuals. Saphire acknowledged that, “One thing we always understood is that our issue is not with the people on the council itself but rather the creation and the execution of the Council.”

The refusal to legitimize the Audit and Action Council runs deeper than simple dismissal of student-created challenging organization. This isn’t Saphire’s first time working with the administration, and they believe, at the core, there is a level of disregard and disrespect for students.

In Saphire’s words: “Unfortunately, what I have found is that it feels very much like our concerns are never heard or that they are written off. I think a really big thing we struggle with is literally just getting responses… Typically what happens is that we get two or three sentences or maybe paragraphs to pages and pages of documents we sent with no kind of details or commitments.” This isn’t limited to Saphire’s presidency. This has been an issue relevant to many Student Assembly Presidents’ terms, and is an issue persisting throughout higher education as a whole. Student concerns are left unheard and then interrogated when pushed. The rhetoric of “Why say anything when no one listens?” persists among students, and the dismissive attitudes of administration is an important factor. In the face of disrespect and disregard, it becomes extremely difficult for students to continue to advocate for themselves.

Overtly advocating for their passion puts students at risk for internalization of fault when they are ignored. The hopeless situation becomes a tool to create trauma within students. This goes beyond just a Student Assembly or Hamilton issue.

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Students advocate for social justice because they’re passionate about fighting for it. Students value diversity, mental health, and equal opportunity because it comes from their realities and experiences.

The administration's lack of action is harmful because it dismisses the realities of students, questioning their realities. The administration has good intentions, but good intentions always have the capacity to create harmful actions. For Sapphire, grounding themselves is key to being able to push through, reminding themself that they’re doing this for their small community at Hamilton.

As Student President, Saphire found that many different community members share their sentiments. They reached out to communities they normally would not interact with, such as athletes and Greek life, who had many of the same concerns. It was exciting for Saphire to hear about what these cohorts were doing in their own communities to work on the same projects such as racial justice, especially since they had been unaware of their work. Since communities tend to stick to homogenous circles, being Student Assembly President allowed Saphire to break through these social barriers and hear from the broader Hamilton student body. In working with the Hamilton community, it’s easy to feel alone working as our representative. However, Saphire’s strives for unity within Hamilton's campus.

They work towards creating relationships that will help Hamilton students connect with one another, and understand where student advocacy efforts are being applied.

It is their hope for the community that draws Saphire’s concern for Hamilton's culture of hyper productivity. Students across the world have accepted that working until you drop is a part of college culture. The idea of working until you have nothing left has become such a normalized, undisputed fact, that no one really disagrees. Saphire leaves this message for the Hamilton community: “You are not your grades or your level of productivity. This is a completely ableist, capitalist, and racist society, and we aren’t meant to live the way we live: constantly under stress, anxiety, and depression. Again, easier said than done, but I encourage taking time to rest, whatever that means for you.”

COVID-19 has shaken the world. The consequences are going to continue, and “returning to normal” can’t be an option given the social unrest. Students are going to be entering a post-COVID reality after graduating, and it’s important to remember something that Saphire emphasized: "We don’t have time anymore. Time and time again in every generation, people are told to wait and that things will get better. They haven’t. Every issue COVID has exacerbated is what has been consistent with U.S. history. Youths have been and are going to continue to be pivotal in spurring and making change.

There is no time left for otherwise.

Breonna Taylor Jusaline Plasencia

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What did witnessing the Black Lives Matter movement last summer teach you about life in America?

“Witnessing and attending the Black Lives Matter protests solidified my belief in the collective. I think my activism journey began during my senior year of high school and while my knowledge on structural inequalities has expanded as a result of my sociology and WMGST courses, it was being surrounded by predominantly white people that made me recognize how significant community is. Were it not for the Black and other students of color on campus, I would not survive living in Clinton.

Connecting this experience to the strength, resilience, and power present in the Black Lives Matter movement makes me hopeful that someway, somehow things will have to change.”

“That it’s unfair. That history keeps echoing and almost nothing has changed.”

“It taught me how easily radical movements and people can be commodified and co-opted into the ruling class. I think in America, it's so easy for white people to sanitize radical ideas and leaders (MLK) and prison/kill those who are a threat to white supremacy. It's scary but I think the widespread pushback to BLM shows it's radical origins and how it can be a way to reaffirm our humanity as Black people and envision a better world. I feel hopeful and pessimistic. Specifically with certain leaders in BLM showing more care for profit than the needs of folks within community, "leaders" showing up more in car commercials than in the streets. And yet, I also see the activists around me, on campus and outside. I see a different world through my family, my friends, conversations with people I'll never talk to again. I don't if I'll see change in the my lifetime, but I hope to do whatever I do to assist those on the frontlines and who do have a clear vision of a future and better world.”

-ANON

MAP ’22: “I live in Florida City which is a predominantly black and immigrant community. Before BLM I would come into my apartment complex and see cops arresting multiple black individuals. This experience happened frequently.

My family did not allow me to partake in the protests but I have friends who did and they would tell me about the many times they had dangerous encounters with the police. The BLM movement taught me that standing up for people, for yourself, and for the values and respect that create your identity is an indispensable part of our culture. Even though I am not black I consider myself an ally who wants to grow alongside those who don't have the privilege of being safe because of discrimination towards their skin color.”

“That a lot of people are passionate about justice.”

-ANON

“Nothing new... that it’s trash if you aren’t white.”

-ANON JM ’22: “Witnessing the BLM movement last summer just confirmed what I already knew about this racist country, but observing the police brutality AT these protests and blatantly in front of cameras showed me how bold and proud racists really are. This boldness is fueled because it is accepted and even encouraged by oppressive systems in our country. Like the police were literally tazing a couple of HBCU students who did not attend the protests, in their car on the way home. Breonna Taylor? Ahmaud Arbery? Someone can kneel on a Black man's neck for 9 minutes and 29 seconds and still debate if it was murder. George Floyd.

America wanted to show us how much they did not care about Black bodies in 2020, and they succeeded.

But we already knew that.”

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“YOU CAN’T SEPARATE PEACE FROM FREEDOM BECAUSE NO ONE CAN BE AT PEACE UNLESS HE HAS HIS FREEDOM.”

- malcolm x

“DADDY CHANGED THE WORLD” - gianna floyd

“RACISM IS NOT GETTING WORSE. IT’S GETTING FILMED.” - will smith

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AAPI: PERPETUAL OUTSIDERS The Asian American and Pacific Islander experience has always revolved around exclusion. On individual and collective levels, community members and activists from diverse backgrounds are hidden by the mainstream, condensed into a monolithic shell, and told to “go back to your own country!” Experiences reduced, voices silenced. Anti-Asian sentiment had been on the rise since the beginning of the pandemic and was encouraged by the racist statements of former President Trump.

“Kung flu” is a racist statement, regardless of what the White House would like to believe.

Anti-Asian hate is not new: discrimination against the AAPI community has always existed, but it is often falsely branded as hypersensitivity.

Japanese Professor Kyoto Omori offers poignant examples from her own experience that point to commonalities in the discrimination AAPI members experience. Professor Omori recalls hosting a cultural event with a fellow White, male professor. A reporter from Clinton covered the event. In the broadcast, the other professor was referenced with his full title while Professor Omori was reduced to “Kyoko Omori,” stripped of any recognition of her position. She also cites her repeated efforts to be outreach to her neighbors in order to not be perceived as strange or rude despite the other White community members not feeling obligated to do the same. In these instances, Professor Omori faced exclusion and perpetual othering.

The persistence of the model minority image grants the AAPI community a circumstantial and consequential acceptance. The pandemic offers a new reason to push back against “yellow peril.” The rise of violence against the AAPI community indicates this temporary acceptance is being pulled away as the mainstream continues to silence our voices.

The Atlanta shooting shot down any remainder of our teetering status.

A white man shoots six Asian women, and the media claims he sought the spas out as places of sexual temptation. When people attack Asian Americans on the street, the news and social media stay somewhat quiet despite the callings of activists to pay attention to the racist motivations behind these attacks. Only when a gun is the weapon of choice does our country show concern. Is this simply the start of America “going back to normal?” Sociology Professor Alex Manning explains the troubling nature of this statement: “ It doesn't offer us much to make sense of what's going on, and it’s dismissive of the pain and trauma.” He reflects on the lack of an impact the pandemic had on American violence. He shares, “it makes me think about how this once-in-a-life-time pause doesn't do much in terms of these broader issues of mass violence [and] white supremacist violence. It’s a wake up call.”

None of this is new.

Sociology Professor Jaime Kucinskas reflects on how her recent experiences are no different than what the older generations of her Asian-American family have faced before, from her grandfather being mistaken as Japanese and harassed by police, to her mother being made fun of for being “green.” Professor Kucinskas notes the history of AAPI violence, pointing to the mass lynching of Chinese Americans in L.A during the 1800s. The message remains, nothing has changed. As Professor Manning describes, the fear of the racialized other is a continuum. Now, the pandemic has been racialized and Asian Americans are facing “the brunt of it.” As an Asian American student myself, I will always remember America explaining that “the shooter had a bad day.”

I will remember the nameless acknowl

BY SHANIA KUO edgement of the women killed in these shootings. I will remember the Instagram testimony of a victim’s son who listened to people reduce his mother to a sexual object as a justification for her murder. I will remember the media mirroring my own experiences with racism.

The haunting feeling is shared among all communities of color in the United States. It’s been lonely, painful, and traumatic, but it’s not just us who should be putting in the work. In Professor Omori’s words, “Why should we have to bear the burden other people put on us so they don’t feel threatened by us as ‘outsiders?’” We shouldn’t. We need to continue to hold the majority accountable for their actions, but the majority needs to hold themselves accountable as well. For the Hamilton AAPI Community, Professor Omori, Professor Kucinskas and Professor Manning leave their messages:

“I see you. I recognize your presence and your contributions, and that you are vulnerable in America’s racist society. Individually, there are lots of faculty and staff here to support you and talk. I want you all to think that your voices matter and should be centered. Hamilton should be able to be a space for you to articulate these concerns, and I would like to help support your work.”

- Professor Alex Manning

“This is an important time for us to work together. For AAPI communities, we all come from different backgrounds, but if the majority in this country lump us together, then we should work together and tell our stories. It’s not enough to label people as racists, so we need to use our stories to empower our voices.”

- Professor Kyoko Omori “One of the things we should be building is a Pan-Asian community. I don’t think I grew up with that, and I don’t think it hasn’t been something that, historically in the U.S., has really existed. Among Asians, I think we are all quite aware of how we all have different ethnicities and cultures, creating so many divisions.

And I think in this time where race is being imposed on us, this is our opportunity to create a Pan-Asian community to rally and support each other.”

-Professor Jaime Kucinskas 16

Dear Colonizer Once upon a time, Jusaline Plasencia I was hyper sexualized & told lies about needing a gap between my thighs.

I was told my sweet brown eyes & honey colored skin were no match for the blue-eyed, blonde haired kin.

I was told that my curly hair was too wild, too free so they try to contain me, with hot irons & images of women who looked nothing like me.

They told me I must conform, to a world deformed by those who filed my motherland & left our people transformed.

They said, “You are too short, too thick, too brown, too rich“ But never was I perfect in the eyes of the colonizer.

But how can that be so?

If I am the life & living image of my Ancestors' souls?

How can that be true, when I am the reflection of a people so strong & so high valued?

Oh colonizer, you mustn’t have a clue!

But I am Juju!

Daughter of the Earth & Ocean so blue!

See these thighs?

So thick & so true?

They are that of all my mothers who birthed Warriors & lead wars too.

See my arms?

So strong and so firm?

They are that of all my Grandmothers, who carried those armies as babies and made enemies squirm...

So to all my Brown sisters who patiently wait for the day to be free, So to the colonizer I say: I say now it is time to stand up & eliminate My weight is no longer up for debate & my skin the systems of racist patriarchy no longer something you can hate. that live within the realms of low vibrational Your words will not live in my mind, for I will obliterate frequency. the cataracts of self-hate that you thought Our bodies no longer equate to linguist currency would stop me from my divine fate. that can be treated amongst people’s who look not No, dear colonizer, Like We. You can no longer dictate my energy because I am brown and free to create, my own identity.

For we are Daughters of Divinity, & when we look at our brown skin, We know we are more within than just what the eye can see.

Shutter Jahmali Matthews Blackness is mistaken as a cover for evil, their shrouded paradise.

Urges fester to reveal the heathen’s habits-ancestral evils, inseverable.

Protests remind us, a reporting flash is our only weapon.

Ironic white beams flare to uncloak the murderous masquerade.

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SOMETIME SOON BY ROSE ALARCON

Sometimes, I’ll be about my day.

Like, let’s say, I’ll be on the kitchen table, struggling to write an essay and he’ll walk in, but, of course, I don’t look up, because, I’m, you know, busy but then he’ll ask if I want some eggs and I say sí, gracias, Pa. He’ll ask what kind, but he already knows I’ll say estrellados.

I work while I wait and then ten minutes later he hands me a plate with my very own edible star.

I say gracias Pa since he always makes my egg first, and then he’ll ask if I want tortillas and I’ll nod my head Mhhmm si, porfa, as I keep googling a synonym for a word he wouldn’t know.

My eyes don’t leave my screen and meanwhile, he keeps his eyes on the comal, then once he’s done, he sits and turns on the TV, surfing for a soccer game or a 1950s Mexican movie.

Yet before he even considers settling into the worn, wooden chair across from me, he points to the tortillas and he says here you go.

I take the first one, tear it into pieces, and dip it into the yolk like he taught me to in my youth, when I used to study his routine.

As I eat, I can’t type, so I take a moment to find a YouTube video but then sometimes, every now and then before I can hit play, my eyes roam to my father’s face, the familiar image of how he adds queso to his frijoles, tears his own tortilla, adds some crema and smiles at me before his eyes return to his own screen.

I realize how red they are. Milk and blood swirl around his pupils and I have to think that, although his complaints are served with humor, and he’d rather be dead before he admits defeat, working like he does… at what point will it corrupt?

I wonder and I realize that no, no, no, this is all my fault, and I’ve somehow erased years, added weight, sapped his youth just to experience my own.

And that sometime soon, he won’t make me eggs anymore.

And I reminder why I’m here, studying my way out of our unimpressive income so that one day I can buy him a Jeep like he’s always dreamed, wanting to give just one gift, show I know how hard it must have been, give anything back, give what he already knew he would never have.

An Ode to Blackness Jahmali Matthews You overwhelm ignorance.

In absence of light, fruitful Blackness, your code conceives a spectrum evoked from your stealthy image.

Diverse creator of whole complexions behind packed melanin: Complementary pigmented shades with the ability to command prints and patterns to bend beneath a capable beauty.

You sign with heavy hands.

Unsung artisan, forging treasured features.

Your delicate craft beams enduring detail.

Invaders insisted you captured the symmetric perfection of machines— Black bodies.

You measure revered wingspans, welded, struck into sinews.

Industrious artist, sculptor of thick lips.

You apply pressure to widen noses, stretching cheeks full over bone.

Your work shines complete.

Versatile Blackness, your boundless aptitude remains ingrained, sewn with kindred thread.

Strands extend, uniting a concealed legacy under armored skin.

Bright Blackness, your essence, resilience, ignites the dusk.

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Despite the negativity associated and perpetuated by the pandemic, what is one treasured memory you have from the past year?

It was when my father and I got in a huge argument over the fact that I would walk around the block of my apartment complex to smoke. This is my favorite memory because it led me to open up to my family and explain to them that I don't smoke recreationally but that I do it to be more calm and less anxious about all the worries that I constantly have. When I came to this country, studying became my job and that is all I would do so that my family could get ahead and leave the American poverty to which were introduced upon moving to the US. This created a lot of pressure and smoking helped me keep calm and work diligently on all my school work. My dad smokes cigarettes so I asked him why I have to walk around the block to smoke when he gets to sit outside and do basically the same thing I am doing. This memory will be forever cherished in my mind because this was the moment I became friends with my father and he started seeing me as an equal rather than as a rebellious child. Now I can smoke outside with him and bond!

- MAP 22'

Getting closer with my friends. Having movie nights and just talking. It made it so much more bearable.

-ANON

Chilling on my roof making art and calling friends.

-ANON

Despite the negativity associated and perpetuated by the pandemic, what is one treasured memory you have from the past year?

I learned to appreciate laughter so much more. The pandemic has encouraged me to find joy in everything and anything that I do. After so much pain, struggle, and death, the only thing I can do is make the best of the moments I currently have the privilege of experiencing.

- ANON

The time I spent by myself reading and reflecting.

-ANON

Playing Among Us with some friends over Zoom during break.

-ANON

My favorite memory from the pandemic was the first day I popped out with my friends. We walked around our neighborhood and went to this local pond. I caught a baby fish and nwamed it Lavendar, but I didn't realize the lack of oxygen in my jar would kill her. So she died....fun day though.

-JM 22'

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AcAdEmIa. we’re told I’m told I’m told, we’re told. we’re told we see. we know. push, push, push fucking bend bend already you are flexible numb any pain. you will keep going fucking go already when your bones break when your skin stretches don’t fucking stop no mind the blood and tear water when your eyes leak sniffle and fucking bend forget about breaking forget the tremble in your throat told matter over mind it’s normal just hold your breath not a peep or a whimper keep fucking bending told it’s the only way out out poverty keep fucking bending out despair keep fucking bending out of fear told remember where you came from who you came from keep fucking bending it’ll be over soon but my friend broke.

Nasheley Boursiquot

Transportation peace Being at peace when the rusty screws in your head are always turning and the sticky medicine yearns for your release Is a conundrum that has me learning This soul capsule we reside in can easily enter automatic distress I try to center myself to find the calm within And learn to unlock inadequate brain power refined by a glut of addresses We are enough even when the brakes don’t pedal and life moves in an eternal rush In times like these I remember all the medals that have accelerated my drive so my worried mind can hush We are more than the trauma of our crashes No amount of allergy rashes could make me want to return to the ashes

-MAP

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i bake cookies i could never eat the cookies i bake; i sculpted them, watched the dough roll in my palms -i know too much, saw them naked in their egg + milk + flours (no one should know the secrets of the universe or yeast). i don't want to taste snickerdoodles for the salt, but the cinnamon sugar. scientifically, cinnamon tastes like pain. i struggle to swallow them when i know i smothered them with that. besides, i never trust what i make with my hands; they are fallible, unlike the universe, which i trust at every step. someone actually wrote a reason on the ceiling, it’s just written in blue in the morning and black at night. the only time to see it is sunrise or set: i'm too nightowl for sunrise, and sunset is when i bake cookies, put my hands to work crafting little answers to questions that cinnamon to ask. i'll ignore life's secret even if it screams at me, plug my ears with truffles, sweet, sweetened ignorance. i'm bad at following advice and recipes: i never know where to put my eggs. i always meant to bake from the heart, crack them to my heart's content, but breaking things is permanent, and i live in a land of fleeting flavors; i can't tell if mine taste like shortbread or short sticks, can't tell if its my palms, my cinnamon, dug into the dough of my solutions, or if this is written on the ceiling too, if everyone bakes with the spices under their fingernails, the great human potluck. whatever you do, don't eat my cookies. they're half-baked, empty calories, only good for drowning a sunset out, for wondering what the right answer is; i couldn't even tell you what they're supposed to be: gingerbread or cowardice or madeleines or hope.

-Emma Swan

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Covid and Coping: A Word with the Wellness Center

What worries you the most when it comes to people’s mental health over the past year?

What worries me the most is the lack of access to services and thinking about individuals who were forced to quarantine in very toxic settings. The domestic violence and suicidal rate has skyrocketed since the pandemic and limited resources or access to resources has played a part in that role. I can imagine that individuals are experiencing loneliness, grief, job insecurity, fear, depression, and anxiety related to the pandemic and have lost a sense of security.

How do you personally manage coronavirus and other pandemic related anxiety?

Sophonie Excellence is a licensed Social Worker from New York City with 7 years of experience working in various areas of practice. Her love and passion for mental health has helped her connect with individuals from different walks of life. Sophonie approaches therapy by establishing a strong therapist-client relationship with a lens filled with compassion, empathy, and charisma. She believes that everyone has the power to reclaim parts of their life through. intentionality.

I turn off the news. I have found that watching or reading the news has only maximized my feelings of anxiety as I often found myself thinking about life’s stressors. I had to learn to create boundaries for myself whether that meant signing off of social media, engaging in healthier conversations, or advising others of what I was okay in talking about. I also engage in self-care everyday through exercise, playing music, and journaling. Finding healthy outlets to manage feelings has helped me sustain my overall wellbeing.

What tips do you have for students struggling with lonliness during the pandemic?

Do you have any advice for students supporting their peers’ mental health?

Use virtual outlets! Connect with your loved ones via tools like Zoom, google hangouts, facetime, or WhatsApp. The pandemic has allowed for individuals to connect in creative ways and using these resources can help you to interact with your loved ones. I would also suggest engaging in something you enjoy or finding a new hobby. Finding new ways to keep yourself involved in exciting things can bring a sense of fulfillment and help you overcome these feelings.

Put on your oxygen tank first. The best ways we can help others is if we help ourselves first.

Create boundaries around your access and find healthy balances of being present with others and taking care of yourself. Most importantly, when you support others, come from a place of non judgment, curiosity, and understanding.

Encourage your friends to seek therapy if possible.

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What worries you the most when it comes to people’s mental health over the past year?

What worries me most when it comes to people's mental health over the past year revolves around racial trauma, isolation trauma, and in-person connectivity starvation. COVID has disproportionately affected Black and Brown communities and continues to showcase racial disparities within the health and mental health community. Isolation trauma has festered. I am co-feeling alongside my clients the absence that has been created by not being able to connect and share space with our loved ones. I worry about the emotional ramifications of not being able to access that in-person time.

How do you personally manage coronavirus and other pandemic related anxiety?

Sabrina Sarro (they/them/theirs) is here for you. They are a queer, trans* Black mixed-race writer, psychotherapist, and dynamic spirit exfoliator. Sabrina works primarily with BIPOC/LGBTQIA*/TGNC*/POLY-AM/ Black folx. They love to incorporate and use treatment modalities that de-platform whiteness, and posit a different psycho-spiritual take to emotional processing including: The Sacred Enneagram, Plant Therapy, Astrology, Sacred Intuition Work ect. They are a graduate from Columbia University in NYC. What tips do you have for students struggling with lonliness during the pandemic?

1.) Try to assess and really connect with how the loneliness might be showing up in the body. Most often, our bodies give us answers before our minds might. Try to let some of the loneliness move out of your body through body stretching, body stillness, body groundedness, dance, etc. Anything that makes you feel connected and aligned in your body! 2.) Find ways to connect and access a community that makes you feel safe. Walks outside? Listening to music/engaging in art that makes you feel seen? I encourage everyone to try and find ways to still feel connection flowing through you, even during these incredibly heavy times.

I manage COVID and general pandemic related anxiety by trying to be as patient, kind, and tender to myself as possible. In a world wants to rob me of my access to deep rest, a big part of combatting pandemic related anxiety for me has been to find and commit to pockets of time where I’m not beholden to anything or anyone but myself and my own sacred energy. I’ve gone on walks, tried to cook more, watched and engaged in art that brings me deep passion, and have tried to stay connected to things that are joyful like connecting more with my family, engaging in soil-work, animal-work, and connecting more to my Haitian roots.

Do you have any advice for students supporting their peers’ mental health?

Put on your oxygen tank first. The best ways we can help others is if we help ourselves first.

Create boundaries around your access and find healthy balances of being present with others and taking care of yourself. Most importantly, when you support others, come from a place of non judgment, curiosity, and understanding. Encourage your friends to seek therapy if possible

What worries you the most when it comes to people’s mental health over the past year?

I worry often about the fact that people have not processed the year of 2020 and the long term effects of this. We were constantly in a state of uncertainty along with daily negative news coverage updates ranging from the actual pandemic, our political climate, and heightened nationwide division rooted in racism. There was very little time to process one event before we were faced with another.

How do you personally manage coronavirus and other pandemic related anxiety?

Elodie St. Fleur is a licensed social worker who obtained her Master’s from Silberman School of Social Work in New York City. She has a wide range of experience from inpatient psychiatric units to working with high school students transitioning to college. Elodie’s main areas of practice have been depression and anxiety. She is a firm believer in meeting the client where they are and this has proven to be successful.

What tips do you have for students struggling with lonliness during the pandemic?

It can be very easy to sit around your room all day and allow your thoughts to consume you and spiral.

I suggest having a buddy system in these moments of loneliness; having a designated friend or family member to reach out to or meet up with. Along those lines, I suggest joining a class or club on campus which can provide a sense of belonging. Finally, I would definitely suggest giving therapy a try. Talking things out and learning coping techniques is a great way to overcome feelings of loneliness and anxiety. It can’t hurt to try a free service that the campus offers and if it isn’t for you, you can always walk away!

Self-care has never been more important to me in respect to managing pandemic related anxiety. I always tell my students that we have to intentionally create time for things we love to do or else we won’t do them. During quarantine, I took up new hobbies and used the extra time to learn things that I’ve always wanted to try such as cooking, makeup, and how to better care for my hair. I also practice mindfulness which allows you to create space around your worries so they don’t consume you. This can range from activities such as mediation and other grounding techniques.

Do you have any advice for students supporting their peers’ mental health?

I would suggest being that listening ear for your peers and colleagues. You may not always have the right thing to say or a solution and that’s ok. People don’t always need a solution. Listening is enough most of the time or simply being present.

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PRESERVING THE BODY, PRESERVING THE CULTURE with Kayla Glemaud Do you have any tips, tricks or practices you use to avoid stress, especially as a senior?

"I would say really focus on being present. It's something that's been a really big game changer for me. I think I spent a lot of last semester so worried about what's going to come next. It felt like everyone and their mothers were asking, what are you doing post graduation? What are you doing post grad?

And I'm like, I don't know! All of the uncertainty would really, really stress me out. Like do I have to move back home? All these What does self different things. Not everyone has it figured out, and that's okay. care mean to you?

Just embrace the uncertainty because we're still in a pandemic, like being uncertain. So, I would say lean into that uncer"I would say self care means I guess like, tainty instead of being so afraid of it. Be in the moment, honoring your needs, and moment to moment because this is kind of the last time I'll be with this basis and kind of standing in your truth. I think a group of people in this space again. I don't lot of times, self care is not like the things that you want to miss out on this moment bedo. Its not throwing out a mask and like doing your cause I'm worried about the nails or unwinding. That can be included in self care, future." but self care is like, not going out to drink tonight in like, and not gonna forcing myself to rally and go super hard. It's like if I don't feel it, I'm not going to go. But again, listening to your body, listening to your state of being, going with it and kind of trusting that intuition."

Can you describe your ideal morning? " I definitely got into a really good routine when I was in quarantine. I'm very much a morning person, so I'd be up around like, seven, seven-thirty. I would make myself either like matcha latte or coffee, and then listen to a podcast. I really like [the podcasts] 10% Happier and The Minimalist--those are like my go tos. I would meditate and do yoga. It was a very busy morning, but it was just a very soothing way to kind of start my mornings. And I also got to a point where I didn't need an alarm, so that was great. Then I would not necessarily do yoga, but just like stretch a little bit. Then, I'd see my parents and have breakfast."

As an athlete, how do you balance tending to your body with the stress of a hamilton curriculum?

"I had to figure out when was the best time for me to work out and like versus when to use my brain. I realized I'm a morning person. My brain only works until probably like 3pm. Then that's kind of where it cuts off, as soon as it starts kind of getting dark. So I capitalize on that time, and I front load my days just to make sure I can get all Do you have any my work done in the day. I will do most of my workouts beauty tips or tricks that keep or practices like in the evenings. So figuring out your you glowing? timing--and it's so corny because Hamilton's models like "Know thyself," like yeah! Listen to your "In my moisturizer I add drops of sweet body, and actually really be in tune with almond oil. I swear by it. It's my bread and yourself. Just honor your needs." butter. I don't really do face masks. I don't really wash my face every day. Sometimes you don't need to, I will just add a little bit of waHow ter. Harsh cleansers and toners and things did you deal with like that are just gonna strip your skin. isolation during the pandemic?

So Sunday, literally its just sparkling water then my moisturizer.

"I think I got really, really comfortable being alone. I feel like that can't be the same for a lot of people. But, I'm kind of like an introvert. I just really took the time to reflect and observe the habits I have that I kind of don't like or self sabotaging tendencies. I Are really took the time to address those, and really be comthere any messages fortable being with myself, because I think there's so you have for Culture readers many opportunities, especially when you're in college, about the importance of self care during just to like have distractions all the time, whether the pandemic? it's social media, or just being with your friends all the time, schoolwork and all these other "It's okay to look at other people's routines and try to obligations. All of those were gone, so adopt that for yourself. But at the end of the day, you I got comfortable being with have to mold it to your own. There are certain things to myself." kind of pick up. You don't need to copy someone else's routine, or habits, like step for step. That will also kind of drive a crazy for doing everything that everyone supposed to be doing--that could also make you unhappy. So, find things you can pick and choose but find things that really work for you."

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CONTRIBUTORS Alejandra Pulido Alisson Babbit Ariana Silva Ashley Garcia Aurora Cai Brenda Torres Brendan Manley Cristian Calixto Crystal Lin David Jordan Dawun Smith Diamond Jackson Emely Chacon Enogie Omorbee Frank Valoy Huzair Latif

Isha Parkhi

Jonathan Dong Juanita Gordon Jules Steven Karina Bayrakdarian Kavya Crasta Kayla Glemund Kriss Kim Lingli Zou Mckela Kanu Mufudzi Choguguza Nate Wild Nathalie Martinez Noemi Meli Olivia James Raymond Ni Rosa Carter

Photography Hilary Bisono Ortego ‘21 Joshua Zeledon '23 Julian Schneider ‘21

Sarya Khandare Savannah Kelly Skyla Patterson Soha Kawtharni Sophia Coren Venessis Collado Yanea Thomas Yuheng Zheng

E-board Editor-in-Chief Justin Chan '22 Photoshop

Josh Zeledon '23 Photoshop

Jahmali Matthews '22 Malik Irish '22 Photoshop

Kahleel Bernard '23 Creative Director

Shania Kuo '23 Staff Writer

Juliet Davidson '23

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