Bears United Magazine - Issue 1 (proof version)

BEARS

UNITED

magazine ISSUE 1 • AUTUMN 2015 • FREE

OCH AYE! IT’S

BEAR SCOT FEST!

PLUS!

THE RISE OF THE

BRITISH BEAR

BEAR EVENTS • BEAR BARS • GAMES • FOOD • MUSIC • SEX + MORE!

UNDER CRUZ IOI

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BEARS

UNITED

magazine ISSUE 1 • AUTUMN 2015 • FREE

OCH AYE! IT’S

BEAR SCOT FEST!

PLUS!

THE RISE OF THE

BRITISH BEAR

Look Who’s back! Page 18

INSIDE

BEARS UNITED magazine • Autumn 2015 • Issue 1

BEAR EVENTS • BEAR BARS • GAMES • FOOD • MUSIC • SEX + MORE!

BEARSCOTS!

EDITORIAL

PAGE

9

Welcome to issue one of Bears United Magazine - or BUM as we like to call it.

We want BUM to celebrate British bears, cubs, chasers and admirers and we hope you like what we’ve put together for this first one.

From our next issue we’ll be DOUBLING our page count, but to do that we need your help! We’re looking for enthusiastic writers to cover everything from holiday destinations, to film reviews, to video games, to... well, you mention it. If you’re interested in joining the team here at BUM, drop us a line at bearsunitedmagazine@ gmail.com We’ll be back in November with our Big Number 2, but in the meantime we really hope you enjoy our first proper issue. And if there’s anything you’d like us to add, remove, or improve, let us know. All our contact details are on the bottom of this page.

Grahame & Steve

CONTENTS 05 MEET THE BEARS UNITED MAG TEAM!

October, we’ve got a sneak preview of all that’s happeing at BearScotFest 2015!

It’s a small but dedicated team here at Bears United Magazine (or BUM, as we like to call it). Find out who we are...

10 REAL BEAR LIVES We’re a nosey bunch here at BUM, and we want to know all about your lives. This issue Juan shares his experiences.

BEARS

06 BEAR NEWS

What’s happening in the big and hairy world of Bears and Cubs? We’ve got the latest from Manc Pride this issue..

UNITED

12 YOUR ULTIMATE BEAR! In case you missed the results in our limited edition preview issues, here’s who you told us were the ULTIMATE British bears!

magazine

07 MANBEARS AT MANCHESTER PRIDE

Our lovely friends at Manbears in Manchester are hosting the Sacville Park Stage. And we’ve got all the details!

08 BEAR SCOT FEST! If you’re heading north of the border this

15 REAL BEAR LIVES With every weekend offering a bear event somewhere in the world, what about those of us who just don’t have the money to hop on a jumbo jet? Richard Glen investigaes the myth of the Pink Pound.

GET IN TOUCH www.facebook.com/ bearsunitedmagazine

@BearsUTDMag

bearsunitedmagazine @gmail.com

e h t t e e M

BEARS

UNITED

magazine

TEAM! GRAHAME ROBERTSON

EDITOR/DESIGN & LAYOUT Grahame is a proud (single!) Scot, and has a long history of working in publishing, having been the editor and designer of outnorthwest magazine in Manchester from 2000 to 2014. For a while he also designed Bear World Magazine. Grahame also runs Gr! Design, so if you’re looking for fab design, get in touch (there’s an ad in this issue!) Here are a few of his favourite things...

Music: Anything electronic, but mostly Pet Shop Boys.

Film: Edward Scissorhands TV: Currently Outlander and Mr. Robot Food: Mexican. I like it spicy! Book: Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. Videogame: Journey on PS4.

Ultimate Bear: Thor Björnsson.

18 THE DEN TAKES OVER! The lovely Aaron from The Den YouTube channel is given free reign in BUM. Check out what’s floating his boat this month.

22 TECH BEARS! We love geeky bears, and this page is especially for them. The latest operating sytems, streaming music options and sexy YouTube geek-bears!

24 TELLY & GAMES Put your feet up as we preview the brand new series of Doctor Who, and look at an eerie new PS4 game, Everybody’s Gone To The Rapture.

STEVE REES

EDITOR When Steve isn’t working on BUM (so to speak), he also runs his own crafts business - Bumblebear Crafts. He loves to make and design handcrafted items. Check out his ad in this issue!

Music: I love a wide range but a couple of artist/ groups has to be Kylie Minogue, Pet Shop Boys and to camp it up Alcazar, they always get me boogieing! TV: Arrow, Mr. Robot, Wentworth, and lots more! Food: Chinese and chicken Book: Anything by Stephen King Ultimate Bear: So many to choose here’s two Chris Pine and Tyler Labine.

24 POP! The acid tongue of Paul Swan, aka Popzilla is back to savage the latest pop releases. Oh, and he also likes something this issue too!

00 SEX! If you’re putting it about a bit, it’s important that you get tested regularly.

We’ve got all the info you need. There’s no excuse!

00 FOOD! Marley is back in the kitchen with another delicious dish! This time, it’s seasonal vegetables in anchovy butter!

NOM! NOM!

BearsUTDMag

AARON ORESCHNICK

THE DEN “I’m Aaron. A 30 year old bear from Manchester who’s half American. I’m a Disney nut and pizza enthusiast. A fun loving adventurer who takes too many selfies and is part of a beary YouTube channel called Men Of The Den.”

Music: Music wise I am an ex music student and love everything from classical to cheesy pop and everything inbetween. Film & TV: I’m a Netflix addict and love to watch everything and anything. Except horror. But the best movie ever has to be Lilo and Stitch.

Food: Obviously pizza but Cheese is the meaning of life, cake fixes everything and ketchup is gods gift to food. Book: I’m not really a reader anymore, Harry Potter 6 bored me to death and I haven’t read much since. Ultimate Bear: My ultimate bear is someone I actually got to meet this last year- one of the creators behind Lilo and Stitch and How To Train Your Dragon - Dean DeBlois- really awesome and friendly guy as well as being very handsome and sexy.

m next issue! a te M U B e th f o Meet more

NEWS

BEAR BITS

MANC PRIDE! and there’s plenty on offer for the Bears!

28-31 AUGUST GAY VILLAGE DANIEL FRANZESE’S MUM TAKES DOWN HOMOPHOBIC COMMENTERS MEAN GIRLS STAR DANIEL FRANZESE’S AMAZING MUM HAD SOME STRONG WORDS FOR THE PEOPLE BEHIND HOMOPHOBIC COMMENTS SHE’S SEEN ONLINE SINCE THE EQUALI MARRIAGE RULING IN THE US, VENTING IN AN EMOTIONAL VIDEO HER SON SHARED ONLINE.

MANCHESTER PRIDE, ARGUABLY THE BIGGEST AND BEST PRIDE EVENT IN THE UK IS ALMOST UPON US! You can look forward to four days of celebrations in Manchester’s world famous Gay Village as Manchester Pride marks the 25th anniversary of charity fundraising events celebrating LGBT life in Manchester. Big acts this year include Texas, Dannii Minogue, Little Boots, Alesha Dixon, Sarah Harding and Atomic Kitten. And, Gandalf himself, Sir Ian McKellen will be leading the Parade on the Saturday - definitely not to be missed!

There’s plenty on offer for the Bears too, with Manbears Picnic in Sackville Gardens, and Super Beareoke at The Rem! If you’re coming along for the first times, you’ll generally find all the Bears and burly blokes hanging out outside The Rem, or in the beer tent at Company Bar on Richmond Street. Bears United Magazine will be there too, so if you see any of the guys, say hello! For more on what ‘s on, visit: bigweekend.manchesterpride.com

WATCH THIS!

GETTING DOWN TO YOUR UNDERBEAR! ONE OF OUR FAVOURITE VIDEO PODCASTS HERE AT BUM IS UNDERBEARS. What’s not to like about watching sexy bears discussing the latest pop culture and bear scene stuff... in their underwear! We really hope some UK bears take up the mantle and produce a British version of this. You can watch the latest episode of the Underbear Podcast here: vimeo.com/132415330

06 BEARS UNITED magazine • Autumn 2015

Franzese has undergone a career resurgence since coming out last year, from some amazing YouTube parody videos to his recurring role as the sexy Eddie Bear in HBO’s Looking. Despite all that, he might have just been outdone by his mum!

“I’m really upset,” Denise says in the video. “I was talking to Danny, my son. I’ve seen on Facebook, people writing that people who are gay are going to go to hell.

That’s not true. That is so not true.

Bad people go to hell, not good.”

“I’m proud to be a mother of my son who’s gay. I’m just so angry at so many stupid people… Don’t believe the stupid shit that’s out there,” she continues. “I know my son’s not going to hell. My son is a good man. My son and his partner, they’re going to heaven.”

You can watch the video here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ EDW8PTzmh

NEWS ide 2015!

Take part in Manchester Pr

MANBEARS@PRIDE

MANBEARS WILL ONCE AGAIN BE HOSTING THE SACKVILLE PARK STAGE ON FRIDAY 28TH AUGUST AT MANCHESTER PRIDE. BUT WHAT’S ON? DON’T WORRY, WE’VE GOT YOU COVERED.

7:25 DEAD 20S An acoustic duo borne out of Manchester’s dirty hard rock/punk scene 7:47 SASKIA ENG Saskia is only 13 years old, from Edinburgh and has been singing since she was 9. She has won numerous talent completions.

20:09 DIONNE HICKEY Dionne is now one of the most sought after entertainers in Scotland, with a show that will get you off your seat and dancing the night away!

20:31 BEARS GOT TALENT With Manchester’s very own moody bear. The one and only Andrew Clarke. Following on from the success of Andrew’s Bear Factor show last year, he’s back with a brand new show that will delight and entertain.

20:59 NO I DEAR Rob Logan and his band take original songs mixing, twisting and spinning them around. Then they a slice of punk, a pinch of new age and a drop of pop producing nothing less than a cocktail of rock goodness.

21:20 SHELTER Just back from supporting on ‘Erasure’s’ Violet Flame tour Shelter, Shelter are a song-writing, production & remixing duo consisting of Mark R Bebb and Rob Bradley. They released their debut album ‘emerge’ in November of last year and this have to be seen to be believed.

Manbears very own Andrew Bear Ridal kicks of the show at 7:00pm sharp with he’s very own brand of wit and banter.

7:05 STEVE AYRES Stevehas been the front man of Stoke on Trent based rock band Operation Error and winner of both Manchester Mr Eagle and Tooty Booty 2013. He’s no stranger to Pride, and Steven has and continues to support several pride and charity events across the country.

TAKE PART IN THE MANBEARS FLOAT AT MANCHESTER PRIDE! This year sees Manbears Manchester return to the Manchester Pride Parade on Saturday August 29th. If you are interested in joining the guys for this, (there’s a free t-shirt in it for you) please go to the link below and the Parade Organiser will be in touch with you regarding details and arrangements.

goo.gl/forms/Qwl48fgMed 07 BEARS UNITED magazine • Autumn 2015

EVENTS

McWOOF! You’ll find a welcome in Edinburgh at any time of the year, but even moreso at BearScots.

h g r u b n i d E FOCUS ON...

BEARSCOTFEST 9th - 11th OCTOBER 2015

BEARSCOTS CELEBRATES 14 YEARS OF THE BIG FEST IN THE HISTORIC CAPITAL CITY OF EDINBURGH.

Keep an eye on the sky for flying haggis while you’re in Edinburgh!

A traditional Scottish delicacy!

This year they have all of your favourites, including Saturday night at The Caves; there’s a Fun Brunch with the furry boys at Nom de Plume; Welcome Night at CC Blooms; Sunday afternoon at Electric Circus; Mr BearScotFest Contest; Fundraising Prize draw; and of course the ever-popular Pool Party. This year also has a sightseeing option (essential in a beautiful city like Edinburgh) with a visit to Holyrood Palace, the Queen’s official Scottish residence

(with a great tearoom and gift-shop, of course!). There’s plenty DJ talent during the weekend too, including Hamburg’s DJ Kai, London’s HOT FUZZ DJ Cactushead, Glasgow’s DJ Jamie, Edinburgh’s DJ Blondie and of course, no BearScotFest would be complete without our very own DJs Mischka and Corkie!

08 BEARS UNITED magazine • Autumn 2015

“This year also has a sightseeing option (essential in a beautiful city like Edinburgh) with a visit to the Holyrood Palace, the Queen’s official Scottish residence.”

Early bird Full Weekend Passes cost £26 and are available until the end of August.

Full Weekend Passes thereafter will be £30.

Saturday Night Only Passes cost £10.

can pick up your pre-ordered limited-edition BSF15 T-shirts there too!

Any “on the door” tickets are subject to availability but remember: they SOLD OUT last year, so in order to guarantee your place we recommend you register online early!

Welcome and Registration Desk will be found in CC Blooms and you can pick up your dog tags, teacakes and all your needs from the team from 12.30 on Friday. The guys from The Moodybear will also will be on-site there offering a full range of beary goodies and you

For those of you arriving early, there’s also have a casual get-together for food, drinks and music on Thursday evening – keep an eye on the BearScot website for more details!

To join in the beary fun just follow the link at www.bearscots.org.uk and their Facebook page.

11 BEARS UNITED magazine • Autumn 2015 09

YOU

REAL OVER TO YOU!

JUAN TORRES “I AM ONLY 29, STILL A YOUNG GUY. Although I may be young, I’ve learned a thing or two. One of the biggest, and most important things, is finally being cool in my own skin and fur.”

We want to hear from you. These are your pages. Tell us your story. This issue: JUAN TORRES

! s e v i L

I pretty much was the quiet kid growing up during school. Did my work and stayed out of throuble. Then around third grade or so I noticed my body was starting to change. I was starting to become a furry little thing! It wasn’t until I was forced to change schools that the fur started to come quicker and faster. It was especially awkward to have a moustache at 10 years old! But it sixth grade when things started to get a little darker for me. I was teased for hairy legs and lower back. They called me wolf boy. I felt so isolated. I even questioned if there was a reason for my existence because it hurt so bad. Luckily though, things did turn around.

I made older friends at the school and began to workout as an amateur boxer. This really helped with my confidence and self esteem.

During my elementary and junior high time I also had a few celebrity crushes! Riker from Star Trek: The Next Generation and Ares from Hercules. Going into high school was a better experience, as my hairy chest made some guys envious.

10 BEARS UNITED magazine • Autumn 2015

When we got the internet at home, I became curious about guys especially the hairy ones!

My first two online chat buddies I really helped me understand myself a little better.

To socialize with others and talk helped because I felt like I didn’t have to put on a front and I could be me. My mum found out about me by accident. When she brought the subject up, I was totally mortified. It wasn’t until later on that we talked things over and things got much better.

When I meet Bears, they are very nice and friendly to me. And it surprises me to see the common bonds that I have with some of them. Looking at some of the guys, you might assume they only love to work out in the gym, but there’s more to them than that.

Some of them even enjoy video gaming too!

So, as I enter the dating world now, I’m ready to have more experiences. They don’t have to be epic moments, I’m looking forward to all those small moment too. Finally, I’m ready to truly experience the world as a Bear.

Gr!DESIGN Gr! DESIGN GREAT DESIGN, VIDEO OR COPY AT A PRICE TO SUIT YOUR BUDGET.

With over 25 years experience of working in design, magazine production and communications, I can offer you a highly professional service that will get your message across in an engaging, eye-catching way.

WWW.GRAHAMEDESIGNS.COM www.facebook.com/ grahamedesigns

@Gr_Designs

WHO IS YOUR ULTIMATE BRITISH BEAR?

FEATURE

That’s the question we posed to you on Facebook and Twitter.

The answer was surprising, but what we weren’t surprised about was your taste in men, and not just the rich and famous.

Some of the guys are your friends, and we’d LOVE to meet them...

1 NICK FROST Actor

Photo: palhansen.com

OK, so he’s not gay and you’re not likely to see him at XXL or The Big Scrum anytime soon, but we can’t deny the beary credentials of Mr. Frost. Plus he’s funny and he knows how much all the bears lust after him. Top bloke all round and your ultimate British bear.

YOU ALSO MENTIONED

ANDREW LADLEY

ROD CONNOLLY

Rob Govan messaged us to say: “Andrew Ladley - great beary body matched with a cuddly personality. He will pull a face at this comment lol”

“He might not thank me for calling him a bear, but Rod is a bloody lovely chap and runs Manchester’s best alternative club night, Bollox. And he’s SO gorgeous!” facebook.com/bolloxclub

12 BEARS UNITED magazine • Autumn 2015

WHO IS YOUR ULTIMATE BRITISH BEAR?

FEATURE

TOMMO HAWK Porn Star

Well we can’t for the LIFE of us imagine why some of you mentioned this particular gentlemen to us. We don’t know much about him, but what we’ve SEEN we love. In fact, we might even be a little bit in love with Tommo.

A quick Google of his name will take you to some very NSFW sites, but you’ll also find him in selected Triga titles.

Now close this app and let your fingers do the walking. Go on, we’ll wait for you, you dirty boys.

DJ HIFI SEAN

DJ and musician HiFi Sean (Sean Dickson) was mentioned by A LOT of you. Formerly of Scottish alternative rockers The Soup Dragons, HiFi Sean is now one of the UK’s most respected DJ’s.

And we’ll be talking to him in the next issue of BUM! Check out some of his fantastic mixes (perfect for the Summer!) at soundcloud.com/hifi-sean

ANDREW CLARKE

AARON ORESCHNICK

Andrew is the weekly host of Manchester’s Beareoke, and owner of the hugely popular Moodybear. He’s very tall. themoodybear.com

Aaron is bloody lovely. Fact. You can catch him every week on the hugely popular ‘The Den’ YouTube channel.

Check out his Den takeover this issue! youtube.com/user/MenOfTheDen

13 BEARS UNITED magazine • Autumn 2015

Bumblebear

Crafts

YOU

REAL

POOR BEARS

! s e v i L

‘’THE PINK POUND’’.

YOU’VE PROBABLY HEARD OF IT. IT’S THE THEORY THAT AS A SOCIAL GROUP, US GAY MEN HAVE MORE DISPOSABLE INCOME THAN THE MAJORITY OF OTHER PEOPLE. Having checked my bank balance this morning, it’s a theory that certainly made me chuckle. Through my tears.

A bit of background; at present, I’m working a temp office job and earning only slightly more than minimum wage.

Times are tough, economies must be made. At the risk of losing my gay card, I’ve even had to cancel my gym membership to save a few quid. The resulting shocking loss of muscle tone means next time I hit Canal Street, I’ll be the one wearing a kaftan and trying to convince everyone it’s a new fangled style statement.

When I came out all those years ago, no one ever told me that being a ‘’proper’’ gay can be a bloody expensive matter. And the potential costs are higher than ever now social media has turned the act of day to day living into a competitive sport and escalated the potential damage to our wallets even more.

It’s easy to bemoan the volume of photos on Facebook from the frontline of the bear scene, with its very full

The Great British Bear Bash, BearScotFest, Sitges Bear Week, PTown. You could spend a fortune attending every bear event. Some do. A lot can’t. RICHARD GLEN looks at the myth of the Pink Pound. calendar of weekends in cities all over the world, club nights and popular holiday resorts. But to miss out on opportunities to spend times with friends and meet like minded guys in a safe environment due to being broke? Not so easy.

After a quick check of my newsfeed and being faced with a barrage of the latest posts from PTown and Sitges, it’s impossible not to feel that very human little pang of lifestyle envy. Even dipping a hairy toe into the bear circuit is a costly business. And I’m not sure how to begin to justify trips around the country to the latest round of summer Pride events when paying this month’s electricity bill is causing sleepless nights.

Of course, we all know plenty of gay men who have great jobs with a more than respectable salary to match. I also suspect there are many others who struggle in these post-recession times to make ends meet and live paycheck to paycheck. We have now arrived at a point where our community is rapidly developing a form of class system all of its own based on cold, hard cash. And the lack of it.

15 BEARS UNITED magazine • Autumn 2015

It seems quite strange then how little we talk about it. In an age where Facebook and Twitter have turned oversharing into an art form, we are more likely to discuss our sex lives than the state of our bank accounts. Of course, avoiding discussing the subject of our finances is not just confined to us homos. I remember vividly my dear old mother telling me to talk about money in public was frightfully vulgar. But when mainstream media bangs on about the gay lifestyle, it’s as much about our consumer habits as who we sleep with. As evidence of this, think about the excitement that accompanies the launch of a new Apple product...

We are avid consumers. Okay, I realise that it is very general to say every homosexual man is attracted to the latest bright, shiny gadget or hopping on the plane to Bear Week. There is a large number of us who are though. And for those that can afford it then let’s wish them well. They prove the theory of the Pink Pound is alive and well. But just as we accept that gay men come in all shapes and sizes, maybe it’s also time to acknowledge that they come with very different bank balances too.

/themoodybear

@themoodybear

www.TheMoodyBear.com

! r e v o s e Tak

THE DEN SO WHEN WE SAID TO AARON FROM YOU TUBE CHANNEL ‘THE DEN’ THAT IT’D BE GREAT TO HAVE HIM ONBOARD HERE AT BUM, WE GAVE HIM A VERY SIMPLE BRIEF: DO WHATEVER YOU LIKE! AND THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT HE’S DONE! WELCOME TO THE DEN!

18 BEARS UNITED magazine • Autumn 2015

THE DEN

19 BEARS UNITED magazine • Autumn 2015

Basic adverts NEA Double page Spread (idea of priceS£175 perKissue) (1024 x 1536 pixels for each double PRE)VIEW

BEARES D

MINI E! £225 per issue) ISSofUprice Inside front cover double spread (idea

IaTzine UN ag m

(1024 x 1536 pixels for each double ) Grrr! Woof!

Full Page(idea of price £125 per issue) (1024 x 768 pixels)

ISSUE ZERO

Half Page (Horizontal) (idea of price £75 per issue) (512 x 768 pixels) Outside Back Cover (idea of price £175 per issue) (1024 x 768 pixels)

E S I T R E ADV

!

S U H T I W H S I T I BR EAR? B I was also thinking if we had the option for the promos on the facebook ATE M I T L U R U and twiiter page O Y IS WHO

Event Promo (idea of price £150 per issue) on social media sites and a advert in the magazine ( page size half page) Bear night

to promote? T-shirts and merchandise? we could also offer the promo on facebook either weekly or a number over ORE! SIC SEX + M MUpage D O FO Let us help you get the word the month ifBEApeople cant afford the cost ES M R BARS GA TS EN EV R EA B out! For a media pack, e-mail: also put option for we can design it for you for an extra £ xx •

•

•

•

•

bearsunitedmagazine@gmail.com each of the files we get need to be jpeg or pdf and single pages as issue loads by page

NEED DESIGN?

LET’S TALK!

NO DESIGNERS? NO PROBLEM!

EVENT TO PROMOTE? LET US HELP!

If you’ve got an event and no advert, let our designer work his magic. With prices starting at £50 for a half page ad design, you’ll get a design to keep and use elsewhere! Contact us for other rates. All rates negotiable.

We want to support the UK bear scene, so let us help you promote what you’re doing.

Contact us to talk about how we can get the word out about your bear event in the mag and on our Facebook page.

GADGETS

WINDOWS 10 Microsoft So, the brand new Window OS is with us. Boasting new apps, a new browser and a new look, this free update certainly seems smoother and more robust than the previous build. Windows 10 is a completely new version of the veteran PC operating system. So, if you’re running an older PC with Windows Vista or even Windows XP, you’ll need to do a clean install to insure smooth(er) running. And for those running an... er... ‘acquired’ version of Windows, you’ll be prompted to “make it genuine”. It’s hard to complain about a massive and FREE operating system update such as this, but so far so good. It’s smooth, and a pleasure to use.

TECH ATTENTION GEEK BEARS! Here’s all the latest from the world of online, gadgets and gizmos.

FOCUS ON...

STREAMING MUSIC SERVICES With the launch of Apple Music, and Music Prime from Amazon joining Spotify and Google Play Music, we take closer look at these music streaming services and ask which offers the best value.

APPLE MUSIC Apple Music launched with a free three month trial.

After this, it’ll cost you £10 a month. There will be no free option available.

OSX EL CAPITAN Apple Another Autumn, another free Apple OSX update. So, this update isn’t hugely different from the last one (Yosemite), but there are enough tweaks, additions and under-the-hood improvements to warrant the update. You’ll see graphical and functional updates to much used apps like Notes, Mail and Calendar, and also - finally - split screen view of your apps. Long time coming, but welcome nonetheless. And, as usual, you’ll see lots of integrations between apps and devices - for some this is more evidence of Apple pushing their own closed eco-system, but for many (us included), having everything work together just feels right.

! s r a Be

IF ANYONE HAS THE CLOUT TO TAKE ON SPOTIFY, IT’S APPLE. It’s a safe bet that most of us already use iTunes on our desktops to organise playlists, buy music and sync to our devices, so on the surface it appears that integrating Apple Music into iTunes will guarantee a massive user-base. And, at the half way point of the free three month trial period, Apple Music already has over half the amount of listeners as Spotify, so the signs are good. However, how many people will choose to start paying after the free trial ends? With millions of tracks to choose from, there’s no denying the choice Apple Music offers, and with the addition of the (initially very poor) Connect social media service and Beats 1 live radio, there does appear to be more on offer.

Although to our ears, Beats 1 is heavy on rap and r’n’b, and light on pop. Some diversity there woudn’t go amiss.

Where Apple Music really shines is in its human curated and personalised playlists. At start-up, you’re invited to choose artists and music styles that you like (and don’t like!), whereupon Apple Music will start recommending music to you every day. The more you tell Apple Music (via a cute heart icon) what you like, the more it’ll tailor the recommendations. It works a treat. Every day, we’re being offered some amazing playlists that genuinely feel like they’re being tailoured for us. But is it worth a tenner a month? It’s a tentative yes from us. We’re genuinely not sure we’ll ever actually buy another album after using Apple Music. Now, that’s a game-changer. www.apple.com/uk/music/

22 BEARS UNITED magazine • Autumn 2015

SPOTIFY

YOUTUBE FREE with ad support, or £10 a month.

OLD FAITHFUL, BUT IT’S POPULAR FOR A REASON. And that main reason is, it’s free... if you can put up with adverts. Although, bizarrely, most of the ads as for Spotify itself! Spotify instantly gives you access to millions of tracks, and the ability to start building and sharing your own playlists. Since the launch of Apple Music, Spotify has been looking over its shoulder and playing catch-up, as it now offers curated, personalised playlists. The basic subscription package allows offline listening, downloading of tracks and better quality streams (and of course, no ads). The mobile apps are pretty good too. www.spotify.com

GOOGLE PLAY

FREE for 30 days, then £10 a month.

GOOGLE PLAY MUSIC OFFERS EVERYTHING THAT SPOTIFY AND APPLE MUSIC DOES. It boasts access to over 30 million tracks, and as well as playlists also allows you to “build” your own radio station based on your music taste.

Initially free for one month, you’re looking at a tenner a month if you want to continue using the service. Plays well with Android devices, but cleverly Google Play Music also integrates with your iTunes library, although not as well as Apple Music does. Obviously. play.google.com

PRIME MUSIC

FREE with an Amazon Prime membership.

THE LASTEST STREAMING SERVICE TO LAUNCH IS AMAZON PRIME MUSIC. It’s not brilliant, offering access to much less music than any of the other streaming services we’ve mentioned here.

The benefit here though, is it’s completely free (and ad-free) if you’re already and Amazon Prime member, so you can’t really complain. It’s got a long way to go, and the playlists on offer are pitifully poor. We can’t really see this scaring Spotify or Apple too much. www.amazon.co.uk/prime

WE RECOMMEND SPOTIFY because it’s free (if you can put up with ads), but if you are willing to pay, APPLE MUSIC. Huge music choice, and personalised playlists swing it.

23 BEARS UNITED magazine • Autumn 2015

UNBOX THERAPY WE ALL KNOW THE THRILL OF UNBOXING NEW TECH. THAT SWEET MOMENT OF OPENING THE BOX AND PEELING THE CELLOPHANE OFF THE SCREEN. GRRR. There’s a raft of unboxing videos on YouTube, but in our opinion, only one (VERY sexy) bloke is worth watching. Lou from YouTube channel Unbox Therapy is a gorgeous cub with a lovely accent and we can’t get enough of his videos. OK, he may be straight, but the bonus is, he really knows his stuff! This man is a bona fide geek. His videos are expertly produced, he gets his hands on the latest tech VERY quickly, and you can look forward to two or three brand new videos every week.

Subscribe at the link below: www.youtube.com/user/ unboxtherapy

“...too many fig rolls.”

TELLY

POP ! c i s u m POPZILLA reviews the latest from the crazy world they’re calling ‘pop’.

SINGLE OF THE MONTH

DOCTOR WHO SEASON 9 BBC 1 19 September

MAROON 5 THIS SUMMER’S GONNA HURT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER ••received ••• Matron! What a title eh? Absolutely bound to be well

The Doctor, Clara and Missy are back.

And it’s about time! Telly’s biggest show is set to return to BBC 1 on Saturday 19th September and show-runner Steven Moffat has promised us the biggest season yet. Peter Capaldi has been hinting that we might find out how his Doctor came to appear in The Day Of The Doctor’s climactic scene, where his eyebrows famously debuted. With the series opening with a twoparter featuring the return of the delicious Missy, we can’t WAIT to see what’s in store!

on radio stations around the world; still, there’s always the bleeped version for those whose sensibilities are easily offended. Adam Levine’s obviously got it bad for the lady if it’s gonna hurt THIS much. Thanks to schadenfraude though, I find this a most enjoyable romp through the pain of love either ended or unrequited and it’s got that wonderful chorus, of course. Bouncing along like a beachball made of win, TSGHLAM rouses and energises with its bubbling bassline, hands-aloft refrain and note perfect warbling all over the shop. There’s far worse things you can download from the internet (from iTunes or another reputable dealer in melodic/ harmonic auditory delights, of course) and you’d be mad if you didn’t. Not quite as mad as if you’d had to listen to Aston Merrygold and Little Mix within half an hour of each other, but mad, all the same. Single Of The Month? I think so!

VIDEO GAMES

EVERYBODY’S GONE TO THE RAPTURE Playstation 4

If you love creepy British horror stories, set in quiet Villages in the 80’s, this game will be right up your street! This digital Playstation exclusive is dripping with atmosphere, and features the best graphics we’ve seen on the machine. This genuinely unsettling game doesn’t take you by the hand. You’re literally dropped into the middle of a fictional small English village.

Everyone has disappeared, and it’s obvious some apocalyptic event has taken place.

But the locale remains untouched. Houses are empty. Cars lie abandoned in the street.

What’s happened? That’s up to you to discover. No spoilers, but suffice to say, this game had us gripped. There’s nothing like it out there, and at only £15, you owe it to yourself to download and experience this wonderful title.

ASTON MERRYGOLD GET STUPID

Fuck sake. The amount of SHIT I have to wade through on a weekly basis is amazing. Sometimes, it’s because I’ve eaten too many fig rolls after a pint of prune juice but more often than not it’s of the auditory variety. Aston Merrygold (apparently NOT a breed of dairy cow) used to be in JLS. Well, not IN them, per se, but one of the members. They should get back together, they should have never broke up. Get Stupid is probably what would happen if James Brown bummed Mark Ronson in Michael Jackson’s nurser... um, bedroom. I don’t mean the act itself, I mean the mess left behind. It’s synthetic soul, replica and bogus R&B and the girlies wot lamented when JLS parted company are going to lap it up like thirsty cats at an overturned milk cart. Enjoy, my pretties...

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LITTLE MIX BLACK MAGIC

Imagine if Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman made a really shit movie about being witches and...what..really? Ok. REMEMBER when Sandra Bullock and Nicole Kidman made a really shit movie about being witches and looking for true love? Well, now it’s been turned into a 4 minute pop video with twice the lead roles and half the talent. Now that they’ve won the race, got out of the place, and gone back home for a brand new face, Little Mix have clearly decided it’s time to stop trying. This, this...song can only be the result of popping B*Witched in a Nutribullet with a pint of council magnolia paint. It’s boiled rice, it’s steamed potatoes, it’s plain, white bread and makes about as much impact as throwing a balloon full of feathers at a cloud. The video, clearly a direct rip-off of 90’s bitch-witchfest The Craft is as vomitus as it is twee. Pop-by-numbers, with Fame Academy level lyrics (actually, that’s a bit unfair, at least we got Alex Parks - albeit briefly - from Fame Academy).

24 BEARS UNITED magazine • Autumn 2015

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SEX

IAIN MARLEY is proper handy in the kitchen. Check out his utensils!

Sustenance.

SEASONAL VEG WITH ANCHOVY BUTTER YOU WILL NEED • • • • • • •

GET TESTED!

• • •

Bears can be very sexual animals.

Especially at bear events and bars. And if you’re sexually active, it’s really important to ask yourself some key questions: •

Do you think about your partner’s sexual history when you’re getting to know them?

•

Do you know your own HIV status?

When did you last have a check-up?

•

Are you aware that some STIs don’t have any obvious symptoms?

•

As part of a healthy sex-life, it’s fully recommend that you ‘Get tested!’ …

And these days, it’s never been easier!

Current guidelines suggest that gay and bisexual men should have an HIV test at least once every 12 months, but everyone is different and some people might need more than one. There are currently no guidelines about how often to test for other sexually transmitted infections, but it stands to reason that the more partners you have, the more you should test. You should always go for a test as soon as you notice any symptoms, even if they apparently clear up. You should always go for a test if you are in a new relationship and want to stop using condoms (continue to use condoms for three months, and then both go for a full sexual health screen, just to be sure).

You should always go for a test if you think that you have been exposed to any sexually transmitted infection.

Bookmark www.lgbt.foundation or call their helpline on 0345 3 30 30 30.

•

Frying Pan with a lid Non stick pan Wooden Spoon Colander Fine Microplane Grater Trimmed Asparagus, or Purple Sprouting……

3 cloves of garlic Butter Anchovy fillets (in oil - you don’t need a whole tin, so jars of anchovies are your best bet) Parmesan Cheese

METHOD

THERE IS A ROMANCE ABOUT FOOD - the right thing at the right time. It’s like watching Doctor Who on a Saturday tea-time. It’s just NOT the same when you watch it on a Sunday afternoon, hungover. Food, like Doctor Who, should be an event. Something to look forward to and enjoy and savour; right time, right place.

The test? Ask yourself, would you eat a bowl of strawberries and cream on December 25th as a desert, as opposed to our GLORIOUS Christmas pudding and Brandy Butter/Brandy laden white sauce?

No. Of course you wouldn’t. So why ignore what nature tells us is the right thing to do? Common sense dictates that vegetables will be at their best when they’re grown locally (ideally, but at least in the same sodding country), and at the right time of the year.

The Asparagus season in the UK is criminally short, so one has to make the most of it, ditto the Purple Sprouting Broccoli season. ALWAYS look for the “Grown in the UK badge” when shopping for vegetables to give this treatment to.

Farmers markets are a brilliant place to find your proper local stuff…

• Put your frying pan on the heat with about a centimetre of water in the bottom. Bring it to a gentle simmer, with a lid on.

• Trim your asparagus - snap it in half with your hands, Asparagus has a natural ‘breaking point’, discard the rest of the stalks. Alternatively, if you’re doing Purple Sprouting, trim the base with a sharp knife.

• Chuck your vegetables in to the simmering water and whack the lid on.

You’re going to steam/boil for about 5 minutes, nowt more.

• Meanwhile, peel and grate your cloves of garlic, and add to your non stick pan, with a good dollop of butter and three or four anchovy fillets. Stir over a gentle heat until the anchovies have ‘melted’….. You want a deliriously salty, brown, salty, garlicky sludge….

• Test your vegetables for done-ness: you want a bit of bite still. Drain in a colander and plate up.

• Pour over the Anchovy Butter and grate some parmesan (if it’s simply not salty enough) over the whole sorry mess.

• Eat and enjoy.

25 BEARS UNITED magazine • Autumn 2015

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