--
[00:00:38] Speaker A: Ram. What it did that size work?
Large. Yep. And I think he has them grow into it. Good.
I must have been pulling wrong.
No, it does that to me, too. It gets caught or something.
[00:02:58] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:02:59] Speaker A: I must have been pulling wrong.
[00:03:02] Speaker B: It's very sneaky. And, like, as soon as we hit the button, it locks right back.
[00:03:06] Speaker A: Well, that's what I heard. I could hear it. I could hear it.
[00:03:15] Speaker B: I'm sorry if we've set Gracie yesterday. I was really trying to do that at all, and I thought she was okay. Like, I thought she got what we were saying. Yeah, but these are such adult things.
It's not always clear in a child, know, even if she's dealing with adult things. What I was trying to say to her was I even asked her, I said, how do you want to handle this?
It's your life, and people are talking. I want to protect you and your reputation.
[00:04:00] Speaker C: You're in there with all the kids.
[00:04:02] Speaker B: Do you have a situation?
[00:04:05] Speaker A: No.
[00:04:05] Speaker B: So, I mean, it wasn't like interrogation. It was just like, hey, I want.
[00:04:12] Speaker A: To help you get a handle on it.
[00:04:15] Speaker B: But that's not what she heard, obviously.
[00:04:18] Speaker A: I got that from other mothers, I guess. Just questioning who's been talked. I don't really even know what brought this conversation. Oh, that means something. Right? Right.
[00:04:31] Speaker B: That's a good song.
[00:04:32] Speaker A: I know, you're right.
And then we're not supposed to kill her.
Now that we've got her, we're not.
[00:04:38] Speaker B: Supposed to kill her. Cool. Fly away, little buggy.
[00:04:45] Speaker A: I'm always afraid to. I was like, well, I don't know.
[00:04:48] Speaker B: But then when they land on Amy.
[00:04:50] Speaker A: When they're screaming, when there's 4 million of them, then I'm like, no, wait a minute. This is a little mug. Yes.
-- wanted to make sure that if Maggie, they had had that conversation that she knew we don't talk about that outside of and so unfortunately, she continued to say like, no, Gracie has never said anything to me, which made me feel really good. But she had heard something from other people. Yeah.
Again, I didn't hear the beginning of your conversation, but I do want to reiterate our goal yesterday was absolutely, it was not about being upset with her in any way. We wanted to make sure that one, she felt okay and that she wasn't surprised if then all of a sudden she heard, you know what I mean, if somebody came up to her and said, oh, I heard this, we didn't want her to be like, where did that come from? We really, really wanted to protect her. And then meeting with the other students.
[00:08:46] Speaker B: Was to say like, let me tell you know, I asked Gracie specifically, did you tell any boys? Because we got a call from a parent of a boy this weekend who was asking his parents what that meant. And she said, no, I hadn't had any boys about it. So we called in one boy who we knew that he knew because he had told someone else.
I said, hey buddy, you're not in any trouble at all.
We just want to make sure you're okay. But we know that you've been talking about know and he said that Gracie told him over text. He said Gracie told him directly over text that her father had sexually abused her and he cares about her.
He's hurting for her. He genuinely cares and wants to help and is hurt that anything like that would have happened to her.
So it was like, man, we kind of played dumb. Like, I don't want to tell them anything that they don't know. I just said, this is not something tell anybody. Don't go talking about it for Gracie. If you care about her, don't tell anybody else.
Talk to your parents about mean, that's basically it. And the only reason I pulled him in, if Gracie had said yes, I told this boy, I wouldn't have even pulled him in. The only reason I pulled him in is I wanted to know who was spreading rumors so that we could talk to that person and he had told someone else.
Did you see the no, no.
[00:10:44] Speaker A: Because Gracie doesn't even know the term sexual abuse.
[00:10:48] Speaker B: Well, there's several people that are saying that she said that okay.
That she was sexually abused by her dad.
Yeah.
[00:11:00] Speaker A: Okay.
[00:11:05] Speaker B: I'm not going to ask any more questions. I don't want to go down this. I dealt with the parents who.
[00:11:12] Speaker C: Had.
[00:11:12] Speaker B: Come to us, but I do know that at least three boys know and several girls, and I'm really concerned because they don't know what to do with it and they can't hold it in.
So they tell one person that they trust, and then they tell and not.
[00:11:33] Speaker C: Understanding that how sensitive it says yes, how sensitive that it is.
-- C: Maybe we can jump on the side of being very cautious about wanting to really protect her. And maybe it felt a little bit like maybe it felt differently to her. That certainly wasn't the intention. The intention was to let her know, we want this to be, say, hurt you.
[00:13:36] Speaker B: For your own sake.
I'm just trying to think, feeling it's just one thing after another.
I know that. And so it's hard to think, but I'm sitting here thinking from not just a school perspective, but from a mom who's raised daughters. I'm looking at Gracie's next six years, not just right know, and the things that are said and opinions that are formed, all of that is going to affect her. Her freshman year, her junior.
I just want to protect. I don't want to add injury to injury. I want to make sure that we're not doing that.
[00:14:24] Speaker C: And she very clearly said yesterday, like, I can understand the words where I can understand.
So I felt like when she left.
[00:14:37] Speaker B: Yesterday, she didn't seem upset.
[00:14:38] Speaker C: She didn't seem upset at all. And I, based on kind of those comments, felt like she hears what we're trying to say and that we're trying to help.
I don't know if that's really how she felt. I'm not sure, but no.
[00:15:00] Speaker A: I really don't know what to say other than I need to think about this. I've worried about it since she was five.
I worry about today, I worry about tomorrow. And Lord willing, I worry about when she's 40 or 50 and has children of her own, doesn't go away, that.
[00:15:31] Speaker B: She'S on a journey of healing, not going backwards and not getting stuck, but that she's actually moving forward with counseling.
[00:15:40] Speaker A: Well, that's what I was going to say. I've already called her counselor, and I called for both children, so we'll be seeing them her twice this week instead of once.
And I'm very thankful and grateful that she's Christian counselor and very understanding of the children and their know. Like I said, the first time I heard Gracie use the term sexual abuse was yesterday in the car on the way home.
That was the very first time. And that was coming from what she said was someone had told someone that she had been sexually abused. And that person approached her and asked her, and she said, my dad had touched me inappropriately.
Somebody translated it as what I think.
[00:16:36] Speaker B: And we did not use that word.
[00:16:38] Speaker A: No right at all.
[00:16:40] Speaker B: We kept it really vague.
[00:16:41] Speaker A: Like I said, I just need to think about it, because I have never told her
-- tely. So it's kind of like it's getting a blanket term because we do have a label for it. But they don't.
[00:19:08] Speaker B: But they don't.
[00:19:09] Speaker A: So how I don't really know how. That's why I said I never think about this and pray because I don't know how to, and I don't either.
[00:19:18] Speaker B: It's so hard. I mean, I think one thing maybe for Gracie to hear from you is.
[00:19:22] Speaker A: That.
[00:19:27] Speaker B: Her peers are eleven years old. They're not ready to talk about this, even though she needs to. And obviously at this age, peers is a place that you go. She needs to understand that right now for processing through this, her peers are not a safe place.
Not that they intend to harm her, but they don't understand and they don't know what to do with it, so they end up doing something that inadvertently hurts her.
[00:19:52] Speaker A: So are there people here that are there's peers that are actually because Gracie tells me that all she's told is her most trusted friends, two or three.
[00:20:01] Speaker B: But it's gone bigger than that.
[00:20:03] Speaker A: But what I'm saying is I believe Gracie.
I believe it's gone out and coming back to her.
I don't believe it's been Gracie.
[00:20:16] Speaker B: Well, that one boy.
[00:20:17] Speaker A: We didn't obviously I'm going to check.
[00:20:20] Speaker B: Her phone tonight, but Hudson Miller said.
[00:20:24] Speaker C: That he texted her direct that she texted him directly.
[00:20:30] Speaker B: He was very upset.
[00:20:32] Speaker A: They're all worried about her. They're all worried about her, and that worries me. To see them worried is absolutely heartbreaking to me.
The primary is bad, the secondary and the tertiary, and the corner is just right.
[00:20:51] Speaker B: Well, and they don't know how to process right.
[00:20:53] Speaker A: But see, what she told me was that one of her friends told him in text, and then he came to her at crew while she was passing out programs, and that was where he asked her. So that's why I wanted to see her phone, because Gracie is embarrassed. She's embarrassed, and that's part of what she's dealing with, is embarrassment. And I don't think she would have told just told him that.
[00:21:23] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:21:24] Speaker A: But I do think I know who did. Okay.
econdary, tertiary.
And I talked to Erin about that after Saturday night, and just, you know, we need to establish some healthy boundaries for everyone involved because there's ripple effects right now, and it's just something that needs to be not argued or plus just accepted so the kids can be know because it's not normal. And the healthy boundary was just stay back a little bit and let them don't let everybody get but he's because Maggie was right in the middle of that, and they were all so concerned about Gracie, and I was like, everything's, you know, the oompa loompas came off the stage. Is everything okay? I'm like, everything's fine. Everything's fine.
Then I started making pictures of them and trying to distract, let's get our mind back on. But I just don't have an answer.
I don't have an answer today. I don't have an answer, but it's affecting Grant, too, so I don't yeah.
[00:25:24] Speaker B: Well, I hope you can.
What our hearts are and what we were trying to do. I almost just wanted to catch her in the holiday. I just don't want to make it.
[00:25:39] Speaker C: Worse.
[00:25:41] Speaker B: But I just want her to.
[00:25:43] Speaker C: Know how much we care about her.
[00:25:44] Speaker B: And our heart is only true. And I thought she knew that yesterday.
[00:25:50] Speaker A: She's afraid she's in trouble for talking to anybody.
[00:25:54] Speaker C: Really clear that she wasn't.
[00:25:55] Speaker B: No, but I did advise her to be.
[00:25:58] Speaker A: That's her concern. That's being afraid.
[00:26:01] Speaker B: Yeah.
None of this is her fault.
[00:26:05] Speaker A: No.
[00:26:07] Speaker B: And it's not her fault that her peers aren't ready to hear it, but it's the reality, and she needs to understand that.
[00:26:13] Speaker A: That's what I'm saying.
[00:26:14] Speaker B: I feel like these are adult concepts that she can't figure that out on her own.
[00:26:20] Speaker A: No, she doesn't understand right.
[00:26:23] Speaker B: Or that this has longer term implications.
[00:26:26] Speaker A: For herself and for yeah.
I just feel I feel at a said it's affecting Grant too. So what's going on here at school is affecting
-- Are you still in communication with Aaron?
[00:29:53] Speaker A: I actually talked to him last night and forwarded your email.
He said he was going to ask you to call.
So yes, we do.
It didn't work out exactly as we prayed, but with the Lord, all things.
[00:30:15] Speaker B: Not terrible either, right?
[00:30:16] Speaker A: Yeah, it's drained. But the kids are doing well. Other than what we're talking about right now. You have to consider in the world that we know, they're both well. Grant's not been out for three days, but we're just walking through and transitioning to what the kids are with me, we're just walking through and transitioning and I've got them in counseling and we're making sure that we're taking the right steps and making sure the right people are involved.
[00:31:05] Speaker B: How do you handle and now that a few people know, what are you going to say if somebody says something to you? How can we as all a group help contain this?
Definitely willing to take any advice.
[00:31:20] Speaker A: The counselor and I do think some of them I do think this is me because I know kids talk.
That happens, kids talk, but I do because I sense on my own, I stay quiet, stay to myself. Even at sports game, I like to sit by myself because I like to watch the game, but I love everybody. I can just tell that I've had more adults approach me specifically about that, where I'm going, just what can we do? Pray. We're fine. Just pray. But I could know that it's either coming from it's coming from somewhere outside of me and us. Right. Some of the information might be correct, some of it may not be correct, but it all comes back to the same labeled sexual abuse at all. So I think the nature of the.
[00:32:16] Speaker B: Topic walk through the next years without.
[00:32:18] Speaker A: Being and it really argues and this.
[00:32:21] Speaker C: May sound like a really dumb, but how did Gracie actually that may sound really stupid. No, it just kind of dawned on me that maybe she views it as being very therapeutic or helpful for mean we make the assumption that she's not.
[00:32:46] Speaker B: Okay with it, but maybe we gracie.
[00:32:49] Speaker A: Is okay to talk to her if her closer friends, Sydney, Olivia and their parents know. So it's not like it's more like a healthy healing environment type thing. That's okay.
I thought that was great, but past that but past that, somebody may say something, but you will see her body language. She'll distract and start something else. She doesn't not own it, I guess, but she also doesn't care to discuss it. Okay, so she's not upfront that she has fear of her dad or that she has been through some things.
She's very proud of herself for being tough, so she feels God has been very good to her and strengthened her. But on the flip side of that, she's becoming red faced when someone said something, and then she moves on, and that's why she said it well, and they care so much. And that's what worries me is I know that there's a secondary effect and a tertiary effect to this because I lived that for five years.
Red face. Yeah. And I don't know how to do that without addressing it.
Getting out in front of everybody and addressing it full out publicly. It doesn't work that way with this.
[00:36:19] Speaker B: Right, it doesn't. And then you don't want to tell somebody that doesn't know.
I don't want to bring a lie to it when people don't know, but.
[00:36:32] Speaker A: It'S almost like a lighter when somebody hears it's a fire. Yeah. It's not so I don't know how have you asked other Christian schools how they handle I haven't, but I've thought.
[00:36:43] Speaker B: About calling Rockhouse and to talk to them or Day Star.
[00:36:47] Speaker A: I think it would be great to know from a school perspective what they've done, and then we'll do our part and then we see counselor on Thursday at 02:00. So I need to get her out a little early. And we'll see them at two, and then we also see them again Friday night for totally, like, fun night. But I specifically made the appointment on Thursday to help with their school environment because it's their school home. That's what I told her. And I just let them go in and talk to her. I don't give her a heads up or anything, but I can also ask how any advice?
I'll reach out to Dave and I have a counselor myself, a Christian counselor, and I meet with her next Tuesday. And I can also ask her what she's been doing this for years and sees a lot of children and she's very wise.
I'll also ask her what kinds of things can be done or are done or has she seen that work?
I can't get any quicker to her than that, but I can ask.
[00:37:54] Speaker B: I think we're stabilized right now. I hope nobody else is talking about it.
[00:38:03] Speaker A: He's taking toll on I hide a lot. I took the grays and I'm tired and I didn't try to get fixed up for you guys today because but we're in the battle.
It's wearing but it's not worth it. It's God's plan. I don't know how to I hate I hate no. Anybody looks at Gracie and says, there's the little girl that sexually abused.
[00:38:31] Speaker B: And that's what I don't know.
[00:38:33] Speaker A: And it's already happened across the board. It's already happening and it's killing me. But.
[00:38:56] Speaker C: We want her to be able to return.
[00:38:58] Speaker A: Well, let me talk to the counselor. Let me talk to next Tuesday. I'll talk to Gracie too.
Pray, see what you find out from maybe other even at one point I thought about homeschooling her to protect her.
I'm a terrible homeschooler.
[00:39:34] Speaker C: I think I would be.
[00:39:39] Speaker B: Definitely calling.
-- said not to my knowledge. I have never heard her say that term, which is part of the reason she is so confused. And I know that she has yet to address that term in counseling, because they've just been talking really openly and also teaching her how to calm herself or be able to come back together and all kinds of little coping skills. So I know it's not come from there. So I'm thinking after that to something like that would have to come from an adult. And the first person I heard it from was Scott Parsley's attorney. He was the first person that put a label on what I said. She told me what I said that she had told me at a young age that had happened to her.
I just reported I didn't put a label on it that didn't have a label on it until it was in court. And he stood up and said, Suspect abuse. And I was like, well, yeah, it is. But my description of it was not a label.
I think it has to be coming from and I don't know how you handle that either. And children over here, I try to have all my conversations before anything that has to be talked about, because it also makes her nervous or upsets or worries. I have them during school hours to take care of everything then, and I'm very careful with any conversation. I usually am not on my phone after I pick them up because I just don't want any worries or concerns. But I know of one situation in particular, that it was just overheard in the family, and that's how she found out about it. So I know that happened, but I'll talk to her.
[00:43:52] Speaker B: If you think of.
[00:43:53] Speaker A: Anything and if you all find out anything or you want to. Yeah, I don't know how.
I mean, she's already kind of becoming that.
[00:44:04] Speaker B: We want to do everything we can.
[00:44:08] Speaker C: Whatever that looks like.
[00:44:11] Speaker A: Yeah.
All right. Sounds good.
Okay. If anything happens, you all give me a fuz if you need me to come down, if you need anything. I'll be here as quick as I can.
[00:44:25] Speaker C: Okay.
[00:44:26] Speaker A: Thank you.
I'm glad I parked way down there by I parked by middle school. Yeah.
[00:44:36] Speaker C: So.
[00:44:39] Speaker A: How are you?
[00:44:40] Speaker B: How are you?
[00:44:41] Speaker A: Jenny house. It's good.
It's. --