ALTERNATIVE PATHS, CONT’D

• If you’ve decided to protest, consider wearing a body cam like a Go-Pro. Or have a friend record you from a nearby car. Not only does it remove all doubt as to what transpired, but the videos of the Senior Warden doing the one-gun-salute-to-Jesus make GREAT video content. Even better if you can include her license plate in the image, so she can’t say it wasn’t her. Just sayin’.

• If folks are threatening you with violence, consider asking for a police presence. Many municipalities will do it for free, or charge a nominal amount. But more than one church leader has decided to climb back into the Caddy, versus getting into a fistfight, after realizing there’s a cop 20 feet away.

And a police presence may prevent the Bad Guy from coming out in vestments and threatening you. Yes, it happens. Plus, the presence of law enforcement confers a certain gravitas.

• If you get nasty behavior from parishioners, it’s usually best to take the high ground. As in pretending to be your great Aunt Matilda, at age 93, “Why you’re so sweet, bless your heart!”

• Some protesters do well with over-the-top comebacks that would make a sailor blush. But we live in a day and age where gun violence is endemic, so we advise not going that route.