STRATEGIES FOR SUCCESS, CONT’D

• Have someone read your complaint. You’ve lived the experience, so stuff you take for granted may not be obvious to others.

• Cite the canons. Don’t leave it to chance. Yes, the intake officer is supposed to know this stuff, but it’s rare to bump into one who’s really proficient. You’re better off if you can cite chapter and verse.

• Be ready with details. Many abusive clergy are good at micro -aggressions, which taken individually seem innocent. But taken as a pattern, these actions may be profoundly abusive. Be prepared to show how things tie together.

• Remember there’s safety in numbers. If others have also had the same experience, you may be better off bringing in reinforcements from the start.

• Remember that the bishop has an inherent conflict of interest. On the one hand, she’s responsible for providing pastoral care to your priest. On the other, she’s the disciplinarian. Not all bishops are good at separating the two, so try to ask yourself, “How might the bishop see this?”

• Recognize there’s an inherent imbalance of power. The priest or bishop is always going to be in the more powerful position.