First Bishop’s Letter

February 4, 2022

Dear Friends in Christ, The following is a letter about conflict to be shared with those who left St. Paul’s Church in Montvale, NJ, with those who do not attend the parish and have expressed concern on behalf of former parishioners, and with those who are still parishioners but in conflict with parish leadership. This first letter will be followed by an additional letter in two weeks Conflict happens in faith communities. To consider how to work through conflict, it will help to look at three components: Holy Scripture, the Book of Common Prayer, and the governance practices of The Episcopal Church.

The gospel writers provide examples of the conflict among the disciples and with Jesus. Acts of the Apostles and the epistles depict members of the early church at odds with each other and learning how to handle conflict. Some instructions in Holy Scripture for conflict resolution include: • • •

First be reconciled with your brother, then come and offer your gift. (Matthew 5:23-24) First take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor’s eye. (Matthew 7:5) “Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, but I tell you, seventyseven times” (Matthew 18:2–22)

If conflict is a normal part of the Christian biblical narrative and was present in the founding of our faith tradition, then why are we so reluctant to work through conflict in today’s church?

There are probably countless reasons we choose to ignore, bypass, or leave conflict behind by withdrawing from a parish. One simple and basic reason we avoid conflict is that we have not learned skills to help process conflict as Christians.

When conflict began at St. Paul’s, some parishioners voluntarily left the church. Those who left ceased to be in conversation with those who remained, including the priest. Those who remained learned to stop communicating with former parishioners. Conflict does not resolve without conversation between all parties.

The Book of Common Prayer makes provision for when we fall away from God’s will and hurt each other. The Confession of Sin in the Eucharist, Reconciliation of a Penitent, and a variety of prayers for the Church, the Parish, and the Human Family all attest to our need to be ready to

face conflict. Even if we do not know how to handle conflict in the family of faith, our prayer book gives us guidance in our prayers and catechism. The catechism states, “The mission of the Church is to restore all people to unity with God and each other in Christ.” It seems only logical that we live this mission with each other before sharing it with those who need God’s love, mercy, and compassion.

Along with the Bible and the Book of Common Prayer, the third component of conflict resolution is the form of governance used in Episcopal churches. Our churches are led and governed by clergy, wardens, and vestry. This leadership team makes decisions for the parish.

That is the case at St. Paul’s. Pastor Jill was called by the leadership of St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. While, as bishop, I formally appointed Pastor Jill to this position, I require priest and lay leaders to determine their call to shared ministry before I will even consider making an appointment. This requirement was met when the priest, wardens, and vestry of St. Paul’s all agreed that they were so called.

Since Pastor Jill began her ministry at St. Paul’s in November 2020, she and the current vestry have served in the adverse circumstances of pandemic, conflict, lack of financial records, and loss of income. Despite this, they have faithfully continued their ministry. They have made decisions together and will continue to do so. They are committed to continuing the ministry of St. Paul’s Church.

These few steps below will help interested individuals begin the work of a faithful response to conflict using the guidance of Scripture, our prayer book, and the governance of our church: • • •

Select a passage of Holy Scripture that addresses conflict. Study, pray, and reflect on that passage for several days or weeks. Consider how the passage could guide you in conflict. Take steps based on the teaching of the passage you have studied.

Use the prayer book to guide your prayers about all involved in the conflict. Say the prayers every day. Whenever the conflict comes to mind, say the prayers. For a period of several weeks or months, pray for the people on both sides of this conflict.

Meet with Pastor Jill and members of the vestry. These leaders of St. Paul’s have expressed their desire to be in direct communication with former parishioners.

An enormous amount of energy has been devoted to sharing with the community of Montvale and beyond news of St. Paul’s’ conflict. I urge that the same amount of energy be devoted to communicating with the priest and vestry.

In the context of our faith, hope abounds and redemption reigns. I have seen God draw communities together after far more damaging issues than the conflict which St. Paul’s is experiencing. I have every reason to believe that faithful and prayerful Christians can work through conflict and allow God to guide them into healing and new ways of being in community. It begins by making the choice to engage spiritually and prayerfully in the process of working through conflict.

The choice to work through conflict and towards reconciliation is yours. My prayers continue for God’s restorative healing of the St. Paul’s community.

Grace and peace,

The Rt. Rev. Carlye J. Hughes XI Bishop of Newark