February 11, 2022
Dear Friends in Christ, This letter is the second of two letters regarding St. Paul’s Episcopal Church in Montvale, NJ. The first was a teaching letter about ways the Christian faith, the Book of Common Prayer, and the governance of Episcopal churches can inform a healthy process through conflict. This letter is written in conjunction with my first letter and offers first steps for those former members longing to return to St. Paul’s. In the spring of 2020, some members of St. Paul’s voluntarily began leaving the church. They were forthright and firm as they told their priest, vestry, and bishop that they withdrew their affiliation and financial support to make plain their conflict with the parish leadership. This choice prematurely ended the process that had been newly initiated by my office to address conflict in direct and faithful ways. As some former members were in touch with my office and staff about their departure, we encouraged each person to be in conversation with Pastor Jill and the vestry. My recommendations to these former members were threefold: 1) study Holy Scripture and the Book of Common Prayer, 2) pray frequently, and 3) begin communication with Pastor Jill and the vestry. These recommendations are more than lessons in Christianity, they are the first steps on the path to reconciliation. They put us in the presence of Jesus Christ and lead us to pray without ceasing. In Christ’s presence there is always reconciliation, and our prayers are the place where we hear God’s leading as often as we ask for God’s help. To ignore the transformative nature of reconciliation and prayer is to ignore the Gospel message. The work of reconciliation is life saving and life-giving work. The choice to seek God’s presence and reconciliation while in conflict is always ours. I urge current parishioners and former parishioners who wish to return to begin taking steps towards reconciliation. My office has provided support to Pastor Jill and the vestry since we were asked by the former warden and the vestry to address conflict in the leadership team. After the departure of some members, my office provided support to the priest and vestry in their efforts to stabilize the parish. During this period, the parish also faced the challenges many parishes across our diocese encountered in the second year of pandemic regarding preschools, building maintenance, and budgets. St. Paul’s leadership made decisions for the good of the parish even as their efforts were stymied by a lack of transparency as to the parish’s financial history, as well as by the failure of some former parish leaders to fully cooperate with the transfer of parish records and
passwords even after the priest, vestry, and bishop requested compliance. These actions disregarded basic protocol and professionalism. Leaving the church requires a prompt relinquishment of authority, as well as the full relinquishment of parish property and access to communication channels utilized under the name of the church. The actions of departing leaders and the concerns of former parishioners are best addressed by the priest and vestry of St. Paul’s. The same is true for those who have continued as parishioners but are in conflict with the priest and vestry. This will require making appointments with the priest and vestry to meet with them and discuss concerns and pathways to reconciliation. This is an especially important step for the small group of individuals who have been asked by parish leadership to refrain from attending the church due to safety concerns expressed by the priest, vestry and some parishioners. These concerns are important to all of us and merit discussion with Pastor Jill and the vestry. While meeting together sounds like a simple step, it has been many months since the departure of some former members. Both current and former parishioners wishing to reconcile may need support in learning how to communicate effectively with each other. To this aim, my office has engaged the Lombard Mennonite Peace Center (LMPC), an organization highly respected for their work in teaching mediation and conflict transformation, to offer learning sessions for current and former members of St. Paul’s. Initially these sessions will be separate to build the skills needed to communicate with each other about conflict. As both groups do their work in preparation for meeting together, the LMPC consultants will advise my office of any additional training or support needed. While the departure of former members has been a sorrowful loss for the parish, St. Paul’s leadership and members have continued their ministry. New members have joined the church. New ministries have begun. The parish is moving forward in determining how it is called to be church in a time of great transformation. These are signs of health. I cannot imagine that anyone, whether current or former member, wants the parish to fail and close. And to be clear, my goal remains the same: for every parish in our diocese to thrive and be healthy. I am confident that, with time, intentional care, prayer, and the transformative work of reconciliation, the parish will become a stronger and healthier community of faith. Finally, I have not asked current or former parishioners to do anything that I have not done myself as a committed Christian. My tone is forthright and firm with both groups. Tend to your spiritual life, be in conversation, do the work to resolve conflict, and trust God to bring reconciliation. These are all spiritual practices that take repeated effort, guidance, wisdom, and God’s healing. Like all things, engaging in these practices is a choice. I pray this is a choice you will make. Grace and peace,
The Rt. Rev. Carlye J. Hughes XI Bishop of Newark