Millennials
ARE WE LE VING THE C�URCM? A Sa"edandMarrie Perspecti"e
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Since its inception, the mission of Gospel Voice Magazine has been to promote and produce content that enriches the mind, body, and soul. Gospel Voice hopes to cultivate the next generation of believers, by equipping them with the tools and information needed to face today’s world. Our curated content will explore and address the many stages of life through a faith-based perspective. In addition to creating thought provoking, informative, and relatable subject matter, Gospel Voice is dedicated to making strides to improve the communities of our supporters. This objective will be met by shining a light on local businesses and initiatives that have our readers in mind. The ultimate goal of Gospel Voice Magazine is to show the love of Jesus Christ, teach his truth, and live by his standard of integrity.
2 The Gospel Voice Magazine | September 2019 gospelvoicemag@gmail.com gospelvoicemagazine.com The Gospel Voice thegospelvoice
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EVENTS IN METRO DETROIT
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YOUR HEALTH, CHANGE LIVES | SEPTEMBER 2019 | the 14-15 13 17-18
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The Gospel Voice Magazine | September 2019 3
Millennials:
Are We Leaving the Church?
Part One: The Saved & Married Perspective
By: Star Garner & Ariel Gause
In recent years, churches have seen the presence of millennials deminish. But why? According to the millennials who have been vocal about their absence in the house of God, the list of reasons runs as long as the lines at Popeyes for their new chicken sandwich. In this series, we are going to explore the perspectives of millennials and their spiritual walk with God. We’ll also be discussing the role the church plays in their journey.
For the first part of our series, we interviewed two married couples who are actively involved in the church. Youth Leaders Robert and Kiara Johns, 28, of Faith Tabernacle Church in Highland Park, MI are newlyweds and long-time best friends. Both have hearts that are on fire for God. Robert is the director of Building Futures, a mentorship for young men ages 12-14, and author of Lesson Learned: A Guide To Successfully Mastering Your College Experience. Kiara is director of Not Our Blueprint, an etiquette skills program for girls 9-13. Both are leaders of Generated Young-Adult Movement (G.Y.M) for ages 21-30. The Gospel Voice team was thrilled to spend time with the Johns’, here’s what they shared with us:
Q. What are you doing to attract the millennial crowd?
A1. Rob: We created the G.Y.M program to bring young adults into the church, and to have like-minded individuals around our age group to praise, worship, chill with, edify, and relate to one another. We recognized a difference between our generation and the other age groups as well as with the church itself. This is a safe place for us to thrive. We’ve also been trying a more personal approach. We recently re-branded for a more “each one reach one” method. Namely, our Friday Night Accountability Fellowship where we have intimate conversations, eat, and laugh together. It isn’t something broadcasted to the public, we have a close-knit group. This way our guests feel comfortable sharing with one another without the fear of personal things leaving the space. However, we do have a service piece of the program to draw a larger crowd.
A2. Kiara: We partner with evangelists whenever they go out to knock on doors and walk the neighborhood to engage the people our age, make sure they have the information they need for G.Y.M, and invite them to the accountability fellowship when led. We’re also looking into an app called Soularim. Its an evangelism tool, that allows people to upload pictures describing their spiritual relationship while also introducing them to Christ.
Q. As a married couple, what are some things you want to convey to others your age about being married and in the church? How do you want your relationship to influence single people who desire marriage?
A1. Rob: God’s timing is important. When we are people of God, it’s important to wait patiently and believe that God will send us our
mate. What I’ve found is that God already had everything that I wanted, but I had to submit myself to God for Him to reveal it to me and for me to receive it. Had I gone out on my own searching and trying to make it come to pass, I believe it would have failed, but seeking God first will allow him to give you the desires of your heart.
A2. Kiara: The importance of Holiness. Preserving and consecrating yourself. I agree with my husband, you can’t get what God has for you until he knows you can handle it and it’s conducive for you to grow. Remaining in holiness is necessary, even while you’re dating or courting. That’s the period where a lot is revealed to you about the other person, and It helps you not to act off emotions. It’s so easy to get wrapped up in the possibilities and you can really miss the main issues you might have before you get married. If you remain in holiness, and continue to seek God even after you jump the broom, he’ll reveal things to you that will help you avoid unnecessary challenges. He will get you through it and it will cause you to grow together.
...when you walk through the doors, the first thing you hear is “The Don’t List.” It’s “You don’t do this. You don’t talk this way. You don’t dress that way. You don’t participate in this thing or that thing
Q.What are some things that you have heard people say are issues that they have with the church?
A1. Rob: One thing that is prevalent with millennials and the younger generations is what I call,“The Don’t List”. It’s not all churches, but when you walk through the doors, the first thing you hear is “The Don’t List.” It’s You don’t do this.You don’t talk this way.You don’t dress that way You don’t participate in this thing or that thing. That’s not the heart of the gospel and what Jesus taught. The church is losing people to a list of demands. We should be showing love, embracing them, giving them understanding and helping them connect with Christ. That way once they know that we truly care, we can then show tough love. No one wants to be critiqued by someone they don’t know, especially if they don’t already have a relationship with God. Also, this generation needs transparency, and many are not finding that at the churches they visit. A huge disconnect that I have experienced is when people come in and they think that in order to come to church and have a relationship with Christ, they must have it all together. I thought I needed to be perfect; meaning dress, look, and act the par All the while, people in the church did not tell me that the saints struggle. Because of the lack of transparency, I didn’t know that everyone has shortcomings and has gone through some of the same things as me. If church goers would be more open about their salvation and share their battles without doubts and fears or whatever may be trying to hinder them, that would help those who are new in Christ to see that it’s a growing process.
A2. Kiara: Some millennials are put off by tradition. It’s not always bad, but when it isn’t biblical, it can be damaging to spiritual growth. Another thing they may deal with is lack of knowledge and understanding of God’s word, espe-
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cially in this social media age where so many people recycle what they see or hear without really making sure there is biblical or even historical truth behind it. Often times lies are regurgitated and believed and that can hinder people from trusting what God said or from coming into the church building.
Q. Do you think being involved has helped you stay in church or to go back after leaving?
A1. Rob: I went back to church because I was introduced to Christ and formed a relationship with Him. I learned of His love. That’s something that never goes away That’s why it’s so important to make that introduction to Christ, because you can teach bible and principals and people can still be disconnected. Once you’re connected to the vine, you can flee the church building, but the love of Christ will always draw you no matter how far you go. It does help that I’m involved [in the church] though. I’m in place and I know my identity in Christ. I know my purpose, I have an outlet for it, and the teaching that I’m under is impeccable. That’s a huge deal. Now I know that I’m better equipped to deal with the world, my flesh and temptations. I have weapons of warfare now, as opposed to when I first left the church and didn’t know how to fight in this spiritual warfare that we’re in. Knowing what I know about God now, I refuse to go back. My life and relationship with Him are too good to do that. I just choose to trust and believe in God above all because the world can’t offer me anything close to what I have in him.
A2. Kiara: I’m staying because God is all that I know. Even when there were times that I was not going to church and I was doing things that I knew I shouldn’t have been doing, God was right there with me. No matter how much I’d run away from my calling and try to get away from what he had planned for me to do, I was hedged in. There are a lot of millennials who are. They know God has a purpose in their lives, but for multiple reasons they run from it. Some have watched the struggle of their grandparents and parents in ministry. Some of them think they have more time, or it just may not be what they want to do right now. With all the reasons I could have to run away again, I just don’t want to imagine a life without God. He has a covering over my life like none other and that along with my love for him keeps me from walking away.
Q. What would you like to see change in the church as it relates to millennials?
A1. Rob: Be more transparent, make it plain, and be real. Respect the pulpit and show proper etiquette, but don’t avoid important topics just because it may step on toes or people think it’s too much for the church. If it’s happening to God’s people, it’s never too much for the church. The way you talk about certain subjects is crucial, so you may need to be subtle, but we don’t need to avoid relevant topics. At Faith Tabernacle, we pass out cards that ask what topics our members would like to hear. We ask what's important to them and what would meet their needs because we want to know what’s beneficial to them. We come across so many real-world situations that people suggest because they want to be taught how to deal with their specific life circumstances. Like how to be a good steward of your money That’s bible, the word talks about how to be responsible with your funds. People want to be engaged so career advancement has also come up. Now you might not teach that in the pulpit, but you can get creative and do an informative seminar that will benefit members in ways that affect them outside of the church.
A2. Kiara: One thing that I want to see change is what our bishop sometimes calls “Moving the Middle.” It’s like a transition of power from the older saints to the younger saints. At some point we’re going to have to take over for them. The church is going to depend on us to lead, teach, preach, minister, and evangelize the word of God. I would like to see our peers who are in the church as believers, but have not stepped into that place that God is calling them to be, realize that they don’t have unlimited time. Also, the current leadersbe it the seasoned pastors, missionaries, or elders, should take the time to train and prepare us without being afraid to relinquish their responsibilities when it’s time. There are certain positions in the church that have been tenured by the same person for years. God has called our elders because they are wise, but he’s also called the young because we are strong. We need to utilize both the wisdom and strength that he has blessed us with
Faith Tabernacle Church
16548 Hamilton Ave., Highland Park, MI 18203
See Millennials, Are We Leaving the Church?, continued on p. 10
The Gospel Voice Magazine | September 2019 5
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6 The Gospel Voice Magazine | September 2019
Upcoming Events
in Metro Detroit
Monday Night Roller Training
Mondays, 8 p.m.-10:30 p.m.
Lexus Velodrome
601 Mack Ave., Detroit, MI
Tai Chi Class
Wednesdays, 6:30 p.m.-8 p.m.
Hazel Park Recreation Department
620 W Woodward Heights, Hazel Park, MI
Junior Naturalist Club Nature Walk
Saturday, Oct. 12, Nov. 9, and Dec. 14, 10 a.m.
Heritage Park
25099 Farmington Rd., Farmington Hills, MI
Cobo Cares Yoga - With Citizen's Yoga
Wednesday, Oct. 9, 6:30 p.m.
Cobo Center
1 Washington Blvd., Detroit, MI
Griot Grub
Friday, Nov. 1, 6:30 p.m.
Historic People's Community Church 8601 Woodward Ave., Detroit, MI
Monday Night
Improv!
Mondays, 8 p.m.
Planet Ant Theatre
2320 Caniff St., Hamtramck, MI
Life of Purpose Church presents Comedy Night
Friday, Sept. 27, 7 p.m.
Life of Purpose Church
20880 East 10 Mile Road, St. Clair Shores, MI
3rd Annual Project
Dignity Outreach Benefit Gala
Saturday, Nov. 9, 6 p.m.
Bellagio Banquet And Conference Center 23900 W. Warren Ave., Dearborn Heights, MI
Zach Nugent’s Fire Disco Gospel Weekend
Friday, Sept. 27, 9 p.m. and Sunday, Sept. 29, 11 a.m. Otus Supply 345 E. Nine Mile Rd., Ferndale, MI
ComedySportz Detroit
Saturdays, 7:30-9:30 p.m.
ComedySportz Detroit Arena
1100 Woodward Heights, Ferndale, MI
Women's Self Defense
Saturday, Nov. 16, 10 a.m.
Emmanuel Missionary Baptist Church
11071 E. Eleven Mile Rd., Warren, MI
Songwriter Night
Tuesdays, 8 p.m.-11:59 p.m.
Not My Kid:
Mental Health & Addiction
Wednesday, Oct. 16, 5:30 p.m.
Atlas Tube Centre
447 Renaud Line Road, Lakeshore, MI
Rise Womens & Teens
Empowerment Conference
Saturday, Oct. 26. 8:30 a.m.
Detroit Marriott Southfield 27033 Northwestern Highway, Southfield, MI
Anointed Faces Gospel Coffee House OPEN MIC Night
Third Friday of Every Month, 8-10:30 p.m.
Anointed Faces Gospel Coffee House
18630 W. McNichols, Detroit, MI
An Evening of Worship with Chris Tomlin
Thursday, Oct. 3, 7:30 p.m.
Mount Zion 4900 Maybee Rd. Clarkston, MI
Ghost Light 2314 Caniff St., Hamtramck, MI
The Gospel Voice Magazine | September 2019 7
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Detroit’s First Black-Owned Indoor Cycling Studio BODY
By: Ariel Gause
Since 2015, Detroit Cycling Studio has been servicing its community with energetic and engaging cycling classes. Members travel from all over Michigan to ride in Detroit’s first cycling studio. As soon as you walk through the door, you are immersed into the vibrant yet intimate atmosphere. Ty Nesbitt, the owner and head cycle instructor of Detroit Cycling Studio, stays motivational and intense, encouraging riders to push themselves. His motto is “Nobody ever got fit by thinking about it.” Ty includes cycling classes to fit the needs of his community. He hosts themes like “Cycle and Abs,” “Gospel Hour,” and “Glow Cycle.” Detroit Cycling Studio also offers outdoor events where riders can enjoy scenic views like the Detroit River. Not only was Ty voted 3rd Best Fitness and Aerobics instructor by Channel 4, he’s also a black business owner and mentor. If you're looking to have fun while getting in shape, check them out!
8 The Gospel Voice Magazine | September 2019
The Avenue of Fashion
Over the past few months, the businesses on the historic Avenue of Fashion have suffered due to the never ending construction of the roads. The walkways and streets are dug up making it nearly impossible for consumers to access stores for shopping. The City of Detroit keeps pushing the finish date back further and further. With your help, these businesses can still stay afloat. These are just a few of the many businesses you can support to make sure The Avenue of Fashion is not lost!
These businesses can all be found on Livernois Avenue
The Gospel Voice Magazine | September 2019 9
Millennials: Are We Leaving the Church?
Part One: The Saved & Married Perspective continued
By: Star Garner & Ariel Gause
Apostle Cadarie Norton, 28, and his wife, Pastor and First Lady Makaila Norton, 21, are the shepherds of New Life Prophetic Center in Pontiac, Michigan. The couple invited our team to fellowship with their congregation. While we were there, we experienced them in a vulnerable way. Here are some of the things we discussed with the happy couple:
Q. What things are you and your church are doing to attract millennials?
A1. Cadarie: We are non-traditional, our Sunday service begins at 5pm, and we don’t stick to the same script every week. We worship and praise freely and allow the Holy Spirit to lead every service. Some millennials are not going to step into the church building, so we go to the highways and hedges as the word of the Lord says and urge them to come. We have had city-wide baptisms, introduced ourselves to neighbors, set-up prayer booths, and helped with that introduction to Christ. We meet people where they are and show them why it’s cool to be saved. Church doesn’t always have to be within four walls of a building. We are the church and Jesus is with us everywhere we go.
A2. Makaila: We also host marriage seminars to teach people that it’s okay to be young, married, and saved. These seminars are to give confi-` dence to married couples. Sometimes when you marry at a young
age, you catch a lot of fl ak and rejection from the outside crowd. Many have asked us, why would we get married so young. Well, we’re here to show people that if God tells you something, do it and have faith in what he said. Make sure that you’re prepared before you go into a marriage, and once God tells you that this is the person for you, then do as he instructs you.
Q. What do you want your marriage to exemplify to others? How should people view marriage in Christ?
A1. Cadarie: Obedience is better than sacrifice. Going into our marriage we faced a lot of issues due to underdevelopment on both ends in a lot of areas. We weren’t as prepared as we thought we were. I've always wanted our marriage to exemplify strength, obedience, longevity, and endurance. Sometimes it’s not easy and you’re like Lord are you sure this was you? But when you know you heard his voice; you must go back to when you first heard him and stand on that word and your vows.
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Q. What reasons have you heard for why millennials are not returning to the church or why they’re leaving in the fi rst place?
A1. Makaila: Some of the reasons I’ve heard is that they aren’t ready to submit.They have their own way of doing things and some are not ready to submit to authority or the structure of the church. On the flip side, some are not getting what they need. They’re in places where they’re not being fed the word of God properly or their gifts are being controlled and watered down. They’re leaving and searching for something different. I see so many new doctrines and beliefs coming out that have sparked their curiosity. On my job, I work with many different millennials and they question a lot of things. They question the bible and things said over the pulpit. It’s not making sense to them, so they do research online and with unlimited information out there, our generation doesn’t really know what is true and what is false. They’re shying away because now they’re questioning if God is real and if he is, then which is the true God? So many sources are saying he’s different things so they’re confused.
A2. Cadarie: Our age group is different from our elders. Back in the day, the pastor said it and the saints obeyed. Now, they’re curious and need to see physical evidence as proof before they can believe in God. They are blessed with gifts, but many of them lack the essentials to grow and operate in them. They know how to dance and shout, but not how to live holy or righteous. Millennials also feel they’re not being heard. God has raised up millennials such as us to prove to those who feel their voices don’t matter, that they do. He will create a platform and open a door for you to be heard. Then, you have millennials that just don’t want to do right and they’ve got to go down their path. They’re just like the prodigal son. He started smelling himself, he wanted to leave his father’s house, fell in a ditch and then realized everything he needed was at home. He had to ask himself, “What am I doing here?” He eventually came to his senses. So sometimes millennials, and other believers, must bump their heads and go through something rough because it’s only creating a better testimony. When they do come back, their ministry will be more effective.
I saw people preach on Sunday, but live any kind of way Monday through Friday. Until the age of 18, I had never truly seen anyone live for God in holiness. ”
A2. Makaila: I never left the church, but I transitioned from a different denomination. My father was a pastor in the Baptist community and growing up, it was very traditional. We weren’t allowed to speak our minds or be radical. I knew there was something different about me, I got a lot of flak just for being myself. My gift was stagnant because I lived in a hypocritical household. I saw people preach on Sunday, but live any kind of way Monday through Friday. Until the age of 18, I had never seen anyone live for God in holiness. I didn’t realize who God was and the power he has. Since I met my husband and started attending this church, I’ve been able to be myself and my gifts have activated. When I matured, God convicted me in the areas that I needed it; he showed me true love. Even if I ever fell off, I would never leave him.
Q. Are these the same reasons why you stay in church today or has there been a shift?
A1. Cadarie: My relationship with God is totally different in a good way. I’ve seen him do so much more in my life. I’m staying now because I’m in love with Jesus and there’s no love like this. There’s nobody else that can do me like God. I’ve tried everything else. I’ve searched and couldn’t find anything. Even in being saved, I’ve fallen. Even in speaking in tongues and preaching the gospel, I’ve made mistakes, but his grace and mercy still permeates. Every day I wake up, there are brand new mercies. His faithfulness is still there.
A2.Makaila: I’ve gotten a better perception of who God really is. His power is still visible today regardless of if people believe that or not. His hand is still on us. He still speaks to us; I didn’t even know God could speak to me. I didn’t even know if I could hear God. So being at this church just really changed my life in such a good way. I’m forever grateful.
Q. Is there anything you would like to see change in the church as it relates to this specific group?
Q.Have you ever left the church? If so, why?
A1. Cadarie: I never left the church; I’ve been in church since I was 2 years old. I got saved at 12 and began pastoring at 24 years old. However, I was a hypocrite from the age of 12 all the way up to 18. I was preaching, teaching, singing in the church, but living a bad life. I ended up living a bisexual lifestyle and the Lord delivered me from that. I told the Lord, “If you deliver me, I’ll never go back. I’ll never straddle the fence.” And after he healed me, I never went back to that lifestyle. God showed me He’s my maker, the author, and finisher of my faith. One thing about me is that nobody could ever take me out of the church because at the end of the day, my sin was visible. Theirs was just invisible. The Lord sees me, he knows I love him. He knew that I would be an example for someone one day.
A1. Cadarie: Millennials need to stop trying to get rid of the old way. So often they try to come against the older saints and the old way of doing things. I’m not saying that everything we were taught was right, but there are some things that were put in place that are good. The older saints paved the way for us. The next generation will have to look to us to do the same for them. If we do away with all the ways of our elders, who will store up the prayers for the next generations? What will happen to the church?
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I told the Lord If you deliver me, I’ll never go back. I’ll never straddle the fence. ”
New-Life Prophetic Center 210 Hughes St., Pontiac, MI 48341
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WWW.OFFTHEMUSCLE.SHOP
Humanitarian
OF THE Month
Eric Andrews has committed to making Detroit beautiful by turning what was once abandoned lots into beautiful, thriving gardens. Since 2017, Peace Tree Parks has provided farming and knowledge of healthier eating habits to local neighborhoods. Producing up to 50 pounds of cucumbers, 100 pounds of peppers, and more, the community garden is open for all to enjoy local organic foods for free. In addition to building neighborhood gardens, Eric and his many volunteers plant free gardens in residential backyards. This year alone, Peace Tree Parks have planted 49 residential gardens and counting. “The ultimate goal is to educate the people and show them the benefits of growing their own food.” Thank you Eric for feeding our community and teaching the importance of clean eating and philanthropy.
The Gospel Voice Magazine | September 2019 13
ALL ABOUT OOH WEE Coffee
By: Star Garner
14 The Gospel Voice Magazine | September 2019
Ooh Wee Coffee is a black-owned coffee company that was launched by Venetia Lyons and Alex Thomas in Detroit, MI in 2018. The company has a network of Social Partners who distribute the coffee via website, pop-up shops, vendor events, and even from the comfort of their own homes. The organic coffee beans are grown in Africa as well as Central and South America Their all-natural flavors can be purchased in all 50 states, with Social Partners located in 10 states - including California, Georgia, North Carolina, and Washington D.C.
The new Ooh Wee location is now open on Detroit's westside, where they service coffee lovers, ice cream enthusiasts, and gelato fans. They even offer sorbet for those who have opted out of dairy foods. Some of the ice cream flavors offered are Hazelnut, Butter Pecan, Strawberry Cheesecake. Our personal favorite is D Grand Slam. The location is special since it’s where Social Partners receive their hands-on, paid training in customer service, inventory control, cleaning, building clientele and everything they need to obtain their own Ooh Wee Coffee shop.
Social Partners are also encouraged to sell their clients a subscription with the coffee brand once the new Ooh Wee Go app launches. Customers will pay a monthly fee to receive two or more bags of coffee beans to their doorstep via Amazon each month. Consumers will be able to sign up for a 6+ month subscription to keep the coffee rolling in. Social Partners can also host fundraisers at vendor events, pop-up tents, family re-unions, schools, churches, and businesses.
The website proclaims Ooh Wee is ready to go worldwide and they urge go-getters to get on board while they carve their slice of a multi-milliondollar industry This small business did not come to play, and they aren’t expecting to be small for very long. They have big plans in place to further their fundraising initiatives and soon we’ll see our favorite brands and stores partner with the new USDA Organic and Fair-Trade coffee company. Store employees will sell their coffee and gelato flavors during the week while Social Partners step in on the weekends to meet their clientele in their usual shopping environment, allow taste tests of the coffee, and ultimately add on yet another stream of income. It seems this company is true to its slogan, “Drink. Share. Earn.”
Quiet as it’s kept, we’ve also gotten word of an interesting coffee commercial in the works where the coffee flavors will take on characters who have love interests in one another. Ooh wee. We look forward to all the great things we’ll see Ooh Wee Coffee accomplish soon and the many barriers they will break down the line. In the meantime, we’ll keep sipping that Ooh Wee good Coffee. You should try it too. Just remember to Drink, Share, and Earn.
The Gospel Voice Magazine | September 2019 15
"Coach" Crystal Nickson Financial Coach & Accountant 313-799-5264 CoachCrystalN@gmail.com
Mind Your Health, MIND
gave her the realization; She doesn’t want to identify herself with what she does. So, while she is thankful for God allowing her to help people through therapy and really enjoys selling homes as a real estate agent, her identity is not tied to any of those roles or professions. She identifies herself as a child of God who is learning more everyday how to just be his child.
What made you want to be a counselor?
“W
e’re supposed to be strong enough. We’re supposed to be tough enough. We’re not supposed to let that get to us,” says Wanda Ceres of Sozo Life and Wellness Center. She is referring to possible reasons why we, in the African American community especially, sort of shun talking about mental health issues. While she tells me that she is not absolutely sure of why we frown upon seeking counseling most times, she makes some really insightful points.
Seeing as how the National Institute of Mental Health reported an estimated 43 million Americans were living with a diagnosable mental disorder in 2015, only 8.6% of Blacks sought out services compared to 17.1% of their Caucasian counterparts. That stark contrast suggests that there may be a bit more hesitance on behalf of our African American families to seek mental health assistance when necessary There are probably several reasons many do not seek the assistance that is so desperately needed. Ceres may be a product of one of those very reasons.
At 53 Years young, Licensed Professional Counselor Wanda readily admits that she is just now in the process of learning who she is. She used to identify herself as a church administrator, therapist, real estate agent and a Delta. And like most of us have experienced, she wasn’t sure how to just be enough without having to do anything for anybody to gain love. She always identified as a daughter until her mother recently passed away, so she no longer identifies as that. That
“We can’t see life forward we can only see life backwards.” Ceres never considered pursuing a profession in mental health. She walked me through her journey of growing up with an alcoholic, mentally ill father. Over time, her father began to go in and out of reality and would sometimes talk to himself or be verbally abusive to her mother, her and her siblings. Just like the typical families mentioned above, in Ceres’ case, no one outside of the home knew what their home life was like. In order to escape, Ceres would go to her friends’ homes or fi nd solace in church outings. One day when Wanda was high school age, she and her father were home alone. He got up and wandered off. She followed him then ran back home and called her mother at work who instructed her to call the police. She watched him until the police came. They put him in handcuffs and in the back of the police car without one word to her or her father. She never saw him again. Her mother, however, went to visit him in the mental institution every day until he died. During that time though, a much needed conversation was not had.
Ceres moved on with life, graduated from N.C. Agricultural and Technical State University and returning home took an entry level position with the public school system. She felt an advanced degree was necessary for growth and gravitated towards the counseling program eventually obtaining a Masters of Art in Counseling. Later on, Ceres didn’t realize it, but her own emotional issues began to surface. She was blessed enough to be attending a church where the Pastor was pro mental health and he encouraged her to see a therapist. This was not only a springboard to healing but a catalyst to pursue clinical licensure. Some years later after unexpectedly losing her job as church administrator she found herself thrust into another identity crisis with a new title, jobless.
Wanda was diagnosed with the vocal disorder Spastic Dysphonia in her junior year of college, basically having her voice taken from her. “Our voice is who we are.” Her psyche and emotional well-being were under attack. But, as God was continuing to heal her emotionally, he was using her to help other people. Jobless, she asked God what to do with the talent He gave her. With His guidance, she is now treating people and helping them through their everyday struggles. In her words she is “Surrendering her life to be used in the Master’s hands.” She is very aware that she could not have planned this and that this is a divine appointment. “So, I did not choose this [counseling], it chose me.”
“It takes courage to face pain.”
Why do you think we do not seek mental health assistance?
“There is a stigma on mental health in general. It could be because we’ve had to be strong for so long. Maybe because many of us cannot afford it.” The latter is an issue Ceres has experienced fi rsthand in the past. “If it is a choice between seeking mental health assistance and putting food on the table, the latter will always win. Even in the church oftentimes we are taught only to pray. If we don’t get our answer or if we reach out to the medical community for help, then we don’t have faith.
The trap of keeping us in shame perpetuates the illness. It is a trick of the adversary. Our secrets make us sick. Silence allows it to gain power and control. Our bodies are not built to hold those negative emotions so it comes out in anxiety and depression and as it progresses it can develop into a more severe mental illness.” I suggest that maybe God’s answer is for us to reach into the medical community. I’m sure he has appointed Ceres here to provide life changing assistance to those who so deeply need it.
What is your advice approaching the holidays for people who have lost a loved one to death?
Grief is different for everyone depending on the situation. Sometimes when we are trying to help loved ones who are grieving, we say things that can come across as uncompassionate and insensitive like “God needed them more than you did” or “pray.” Grief is real. Sometimes our sadness is uncomfortable to those closest to us, so they
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Change Lives
want to make it go away and make it better. Making it go away may not necessarily be helpful to the person who is grieving.
It is not a good idea to give in to grief, but people should be given the space to grieve and should be kind to themselves. Grief is magnified during the holidays. It is beneficial to reach out for care. Don’t isolate yourself. What do you do when love is not in your space? Whether it’s loss of a job, a relationship, or even a loved one’s life, learn to lean into the pain. Experience it. If you face that lion head on, you can get through it.
For the Hopeless
There are questions to consider. Is it situational? Are you experiencing symptoms of depression? The first step Ceres would take would be to elevate the person’s mood. The next step of the process would be to get to the root cause and work from there. Because we are all individuals, not everyone’s hopelessness will be the same. Wanda has a very holistic approach to helping clients get to a better place. There are a lot of things to consider when assessing what is causing one to be hopeless. It could range anywhere from poor coping skills or distorted thoughts, to trauma, clinical depression and mood disorders. This is why it is so important that we seek counseling in these situations.
Advice for Entrepreneurs
Entrepreneurship is a monster Wanda was not prepared for. “Pursue your passion and dreams. But know that this will be the fight of your life. There will probably be more days that you want to give up then there will be celebrating your successes. Be prepared to shed some tears and possibly lose some things. There will be days when it looks like you’re going to lose everything. You will meet people who will betray you in your business. These things will happen repeatedly. But, if you keep going, you will get stronger and wiser. The fight will be well worth it so never give up!”
She finishes with a quote from Joyce Meyer: “It’s going to be harder than you ever thought it would be. It’s going to take you longer than you ever thought it would take. It will cost you more than you ever think you’ll be able to pay, but if you keep going it will be worth everything you could have ever imagined.”
By:AprilRose
Suicide Prevention Resources
National Suicide prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK(8255) suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
Crisis Text Line: Text “CONNECT” to 741741 www.crisistextline.org/textline
National Suicide Hotlines: 800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
Mental Health Resources
NIMH National Institute of Mental Health www.nimh.nih.gov/ health/find-help/index.shtml
American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry (AACAP) www.aacap.org/
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“I did not choose this, it chose me.”
MIND
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