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Asking the Hard Questions Doesn’t Have To Be Scary — And It Could Save A Life By Becka Ross, Chief Program Officer at Crisis Text Line
At Crisis Text Line, we help people at some of their lowest
Our data and research show that some texters who expe-
points all day, every single day, via text message. You could
rience thoughts about death or dying demonstrate little to
say we’re experts in knowing what questions to ask to help
no detectable signs of suicidal thinking.
people in their moments of crisis. Over the last six years, we’ve collected and analyzed the anonymized data. Data
THIS COULD BE FOR A NUMBER OF REASONS:
allows us to understand crisis all over the country and build the best product for our Crisis Counselors and texters. Our
Suicide can be hard to talk about. Our data shows it’s eas-
research helps us identify how to best help people in cri-
ier for texters to respond to a direct, empathetic question
sis. Overwhelmingly, we’ve found that it is essential to lead
about suicide than it is to bring up the topic on their own.
with empathy and ask direct questions when people are in emotional pain. And the most important question to ask
For 67 percent of texters, their conversation with Crisis
texters in crisis: “Do you have thoughts of death or dying?”
Counselors is the first time they’re sharing something
That’s right. While the common assumption has been
they’ve never told anyone before. They may not have the
that inquiring about suicidality can increase suicidal
words yet to describe what they’re feeling.
tendencies, the data says that asking about suicide does not increase potential suicidality. In reality, asking about
Because we’re providing support through text messages,
thoughts of death or dying can open the door to a conver-
it’s not possible to see physical signs of hopelessness,
sation that could save a lot of lives. Our data shows that
sadness, and pain. We may need to ask the texter directly
simply asking someone if they are OK opens the door for
about their thoughts of death or dying to provide them
someone to feel they can ask for support and get help. It is
with the opportunity to express themselves.
about offering a safe and nonjudgmental space for someone to seek help.
THAT’S WHY WE ASK ABOUT SUICIDE IN EVERY CONVERSATION.
At Crisis Text Line, we use a simple formula to assess if If you’re looking to help the people in your life, there’s good
We always lead with an “expression of care” to let people
news for you here, too. The number one thing that makes
know that we're listening and are here to support. After
the biggest difference in a conversation about suicide?
using artificial intelligence to analyze our dataset of 75
Empathy. That’s right. Empathy is a tool we all have and
million text messages — collected since Crisis Text Line
it’s seriously game-changing in even the hardest conver-
launched in 2013 — we found that assessing suicide risk
sations. Even better, empathy is something all of us can
Becka Ross is the Chief Program Officer at Crisis
with an "expression of care" was most likely to reduce a
show for each other. It’s totally free. And, it’s something
Text Line. She supports Crisis Text Line's Crisis
texter's suicidal feelings. Expression of care is simply let-
everyone can show anytime, anywhere. All it takes is a few
Counselors as they help texters move from a hot
ting someone know that you are there for them and want
kind words.
moment to cool and calm. Becka recently relocat-
to keep them safe. “I care about you. With all that you have
ed from Chicago to New York with her husband
going on, are you thinking about ending your life?”
Photo by Manthan Gupta
a texter has a plan, means, and timeframe to take their life.
Crisis Text Line provides free, 24/7 support for those
Our data shows when we ask about suicidal thoughts
in crisis. Text CRISIS to 741741 from anywhere in the
after building rapport and using the “expression of care”
U.S. to text with a trained Crisis Counselor. Crisis
You may have encountered someone in your life — at work,
method, there’s no increased risk to the texter’s safety.
Text Line trains volunteer Crisis Counselors to help
at a social event, a family member or a significant other —
In fact, it’s twice as effective in de-escalating a texter’s
people move from a hot moment to cool and calm.
who does not seem OK. Identifying that someone needs
thoughts about dying than other methods. As long as
help but being unable to identify how to help them may be
you’re validating, responding with empathy, and giving
Think you have what it takes to become an Empathy
a difficult position to be in, especially for empaths. There's
your texter room to explore their challenges, asking direct-
MVP? Apply to become one of our volunteer Crisis
a balance between honoring someone’s privacy and
ly about thoughts of death and dying won’t cause them to
Counselors and start saving lives in no time.
being supportive.
feel more suicidal.
crisistextline.org/volunteer
and two children.
