The Aquilian – December 2020 – Vol. 84, No. 3

The Aquilian

December 2020 Volume 83 Number 3

Gonzaga College High School Men For Others Since 1821

19 Eye St, NW Washington, DC 20001

Gonzaga Admissions During COVID-19 By: Luke Elliott ‘21 Editor As this year’s senior class has learned these past months, getting to know where you’ll be for the next four years is difficult to do in our pandemic-induced virtual world. Applicants for Gonzaga’s Class of 2025 are undoubtedly facing similar challenges as they survey their options for high school.

“The admissions world, just like everyone else at this time, is facing unprecedented challenges,” says Mr. Andrew Battaile, Gonzaga’s Dean of Admissions and Financial Aid, “for prospective students and their families, it’s hard to apply to a school, and even choose to enroll there, when you’ve

never stepped on campus.”

Because of restrictions pertaining to COVID-19, the traditional Eagle for a Day program is not possible this year. Enter Eagle Chats.

Eagle Chats are hosted by a member of the Admissions Office as well as several student leaders. “Gonzaga is a special place, and, especially during these unprecedented times, I want to make sure incoming freshmen realize how special it is,” says Eamon Passey, a senior leader who has led several Eagle Chats. Jesse Dolojan ‘21 enjoys “relating to the 8th graders in their endeavors to find a place to call home for the next four years” as he himself is currently in the process of applying to colleges and un-

derstands the excitement and anxieties that come with any application process.

The question and answer session fills most of the hourlong event, providing 8th graders the opportunity to chat with Gonzaga seniors.

Some ask for advice on applying while others bring up student life and academics.

It is especially important, as Mr. Mike Hanagan, Associate Dean of Admissions, notes, that the attendees grow comfortable and willing to ask questions - that’s what the session is for after all.

After the Q&A, the admissions representative concludes the conversation with a brief reminder about application requirements and deadlines. Even though the

coronavirus presents additional obstacles for applicants, the Admissions Office is confident that students will be able to provide the same materials as always: transcripts, HSPT scores, letters of recommendation, supplemental questions, and the essay. Mr. Hanagan says that with grades and recommendations possibly looking different than more typical years, he expects students will do “better than ever” on their written responses.

It is safe to say that through the chaos of this pandemic, Gonzaga’s Admissions Office has adapted and will still admit a class of academically sound and socially responsible students.

The Admissions Office also

Die Hard Christmas, 3

Visitation & Gonzaga, 4

NFL & NBA, 6

Ripping the STC, 8

has created other tools to help prospective students get to know Gonzaga. Mr. Battaile said, “We’ve put in yeoman’s work, with help from others on campus, to provide a virtual campus tour and an entire virtual Open House event. On top of that, we’re always available via phone and email - even Zoom and Google Meet calls. We want to convey our own pride in the community here. That’s easy to do when it comes to Eye Street, but there are still challenges that interested families face. We want to work on behalf of those families to help them see why Gonzaga could be a great home for their sons.” Best of luck to each applicant in the coming months!

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The Enviornmental Club By: Reid Norton ‘21 Editor A new club has risen amidst the global pandemic that is growing in popularity among Gonzaga men. While it is easy to be consumed with school, the election, or whatever else you have on your plate, it is important to remember to take care of our planet, which is why fellow senior Charlie Neill and I started the Environmental Club. You may be wondering: “are you able to make any real changes during hybrid learning?” Well, yes, our main objective is advocacy.

As of now, we are informing students on ways to eliminate waste during school lunches, whether that be from using tupperware, metal utensils,

or bringing a lunch box instead of a paper or plastic bag. We are starting to hang flyers throughout campus and advocating through WZAG, as many students are not on campus to see our beautiful flyers. If you happen to be at school and see one of our flyers, take the time to read them and learn a thing or two about ways you can help! We are planning to have a new focus each month to spread awareness at school and in our community. Along with this, we are discussing changes we can make to live a more sustainable lifestyle. One great way to do this is to install a composting system in your backyard for food scraps and other items to decompose and create soil.

While we originally planned to partner with Veteran Compost to install a school-wide composting system, COVID prevented this, but having a home composting system is still possible. We are also always open to suggestions from fellow club members and plan to have merchandise once the club gains more traction. If you are interested in sustainability, the environment, or just want to join a club, you are always welcome to join the Environmental club! (plastic bottles prohibited from all Environmental club meetings) For more information or to join the club contact: jausema@ gonzaga.org, nortonr@gonzaga.org or neillc@gonzaga. org.

Washington Football Team By: Jackson Brewer ‘24 Contributor The Washington Football Team has been a nice surprise and a playoff contender.

If you look at how they were projected to do before the season, it is shocking that they are tied for first in their division.

If you start digging a little bit deeper into each of their games, it becomes noticeable how many close games they have lost. They currently have a 4-7 record, but could potentially have 7 wins if you flip all the games they’ve lost by three points or less into wins. All of their wins have also been by ten points or more which shows the potential they have to be a dominant team in the league.

A win that especially sticks out is their 41-16 win against the Cowboys, with breakout performances from Antonio Gibson, who rushed for 3 touchdowns, and the Washington defense, who held Ezekial Elliot to 3.2 yards per carry.

Speaking of the Washing-

ton defense, they have been one of the most dominant units in the league. This is because of their high powered pass rush, led by playmakers such as Montez Sweat, Ryan Kerrigan, and Chase Young.

There is also a nice mix in the experience of this group of guys, as you have older and more experienced players such as Ryan Kerrigan but you have younger playmakers such as Chase Young.

The offense is a whole different story. They certainly have playmakers, with Terry Mclaurin and Antonio Gibson having breakout years, but they have played three quarterbacks this year, which is concerning. Their quarterback play shouldn’t be a problem though, because Alex Smith is good enough to lead a team and he has proven that over the course of his career. But looking at the chances the Football team makes the playoffs, there are reasons to be optimistic and there are reasons not to be.

The division race has come down to the Giants and

The Aquilian Founded In 1940 Gonzaga College High School 19 Eye Street NW Washington, DC 20001 Men For Others in the Jesuit Tradition Since 1821

the Football Team, who are both 4-7 right now, but the Giants also have the Tiebreaker because they won both games they played against each other. The Giants have four tough games and then an easy game against the Cowboys.

The Football Team is in a similar spot, as they have two tough games left, two games where they will be the underdog but they have potential of winning, and then a game against the Eagles. It’ll be an interesting ride, but my prediction is the Football Team will lose to the Steelers, 49ers, and Seahawks but beat the Panthers and Eagles. This would put them in the playoffs as I think the Giants only win 1 game.

Whether the Football Team makes the playoffs or not, the only guarantee is that the future looks bright in the Capital.

Editor-in-Chief Gabe Brady ‘21 Features Editor Reid Norton ‘21

NHS 2020 Can Drive

Success!!!

7,540 Cans for the McKenna Center

Opinion/Editorial By: Jack Martino ‘20 Alumnus Dear Gonzaga Community, I loved my four years on Eye Street. I couldn’t have asked for better friends, teachers, or moments that will surely last a lifetime. Despite all the special memories I have of my days at Gonzaga, there is a shadow currently cast over it. My class, the Class of 2020, has not had a graduation ceremony yet due to COVID-19.

Postponing our graduation last spring was the right decision. As COVID cases began spiking and our semester was moved totally online, there was no way we could have had an in-person graduation in Saint Al’s last June.

Thankfully for us, there is still hope. As more and more reports of an effective vaccine surface, the light at the end of the pandemic tunnel is getting brighter. The majority of the country could be vaccinated by late spring or early summer of 2021, which may give Gonzaga the opportunity to have in-person graduations for both the Classes of 2020 and 2021.

Other DC-area private high schools that are similar to Gonzaga found ways to graduate in person over the summer, and I would encourage the administration to examine these graduations when planning our class’s graduation. St. Alban’s, Visitation, and National Cathedral School all found ways to host an outdoor graduation with all students present.

St. John’s and Georgetown Prep, schools with similar class sizes to Gonzaga, also graduated during the summer. St. John’s, located in DC as well, divided its senior class into six smaller outdoor graduations while Prep had 80% in-person participation and 20% choosing to participate online in late July.

As these schools have shown, COVID should not be a barrier to creative solutions and determination to graduate our class, allowing us to have a final day with our brothers to commemorate four years of community and collective achievement.

So, Gonzaga, here’s a creative solution that hasn’t been suggested yet. I ask the community to consider giving the Class of 2020 the same graduation that the Class of 2021, the bicentennial class, will have, and to hold it one week after theirs.

If alumni reunion gatherings are planned that weekend, I am sure they would make room for the one class in the past 50 years to not celebrate a graduation. This way, the Class of 2020 will have the graduation we have earned, in person, with all 235 of us.

Let’s begin the third century of Gonzaga by fulfilling the promise of commencement for all classes of the last two hundred years. AMDG Sincerely, Jack Martino ‘20 Former Editor-in-Chief, The Aquilian University of Southern California ‘24

Editors Will Buffaloe ‘21 Jesse Dolojan ‘21 Luke Elliott ‘21 Patrick Fogarty‘21 Charlie Neill ‘21 John Ferrara ‘22 Andrew Schaefer ‘22 Moderator: Dr. Harry Rissetto

OP/ED A Christmas Controversy By: Will Buffaloe‘21 Editor In my three years as an Aquilian contributor, I’ve tried to stick to mostly lighthearted pieces. Especially in the past nine months, I’ve tried to keep things light, to add levity to what has undoubtedly been a dark year.

But sadly, I’ll be taking on a more serious tone today, as I address what is possibly one of the most widespread controversies in recent memory.

This polarizing issue has produced dozens of slightly heated discussions around back patios across America.

Today, I will definitively answer whether Die Hard is a Christmas movie.

The short answer? It is.

In fact, I’m not going to stop there. I stick to the un-

dying belief that Die Hard is actually the best Christmas movie. I questioned the ethics of even writing that sentence. Have I compromised my journalistic integrity?

Forever damaged the reputation of a publication I love so deeply? Only time will tell.

But I couldn’t stay silent any longer. I had to take a stand.

So, what makes a Christmas movie? And what makes Die Hard the best of the best? Apparently, Die Hard’s Christmas centric plot, five Christmas songs, and wealth of Christmas one liners aren’t enough for skeptics. So, let’s break down the formula of a Christmas movie, by using what is often (falsely) viewed as the best one: It’s a Wonderful Life.

It’s a Wonderful Life has

the same Christmas trappings as Die Hard (though only three Christmas songs) but gets credit as a Christmas movie because of its poignant, saccharine themes.

Family. Friendship. A life worth living. All the gushy stuff. Well guess what, Die Hard has that too. John McClane spends 50% of the movie trying to reconnect with his estranged family.

The other 50% John spends with his new best friend, Sergeant Al Powell of the LAPD. And by the end of the film, John realizes how much that family matters to him, and Al believes in himself again. Take that, cynics.

And if that’s not enough, don’t worry, I’ve been overanalyzing this for years. If half of the Christmas mov-

ies out there are about family (Elf, Home Alone, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation), then the other half are about charity and simplicity (How the Grinch Stole Christmas, A Charlie Brown Christmas, A Christmas Carol). The best are about both.

Enter Die Hard. The entire plot hinges on the situational irony of a greedy corporation being robbed by an equally greedy band of well-dressed German terrorists. And how does the movie end? All the bonds explode and drift down like winter snowflakes from the top of Nakatomi Tower.

Checkmate Christmas haters.

Now, what makes Die Hard the unequivocal best?

It’s more than just a Christmas movie. It transcends

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genres to be a movie that anyone can enjoy. It’s got Humor. Heart. Heroes. Holidays. Hostages. Helipads.

And Hans Gruber. So, the next time you think about putting on a Christmas movie, stop and ask yourself, was The Polar Express so perfect it got four action-packed sequels and an Advance Autoparts commercial? If the answer is no, it’s because the movie that continues to be ripped off today, made stars out of Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman, and redefined what a Christmas movie could be, is still the undisputed king of Christmas Movies.

Happy trails James Stewart.

Model UN Club By: Matthew Dowd ‘22 Contributor During hybrid learning, it has been difficult for some clubs to maintain steady attendance and a full list of activities for the year, but Gonzaga’s Model United Nations club has already attended several conferences and been able to set up conferences scheduled throughout the school year. Like other clubs at Gonzaga such as the Political Conversations Club, Sons of Liberty, Eagles for Democracy, and Mock Trial, Model UN is centered around civil discussion.

In a typical Model UN conference hosted by a high school or college, club members, or delegates, are placed into simulations where they

must work together as the United Nations to solve problems diplomatically. For example, many topics this year revolve around worldwide COVID response and deployment of COVID vaccines. Throughout committee sessions, delegates work together to write and pass resolutions dictating the United Nations proposed response to a certain topic. Not only this, but the course of the committee is left entirely to democratic votes, leaving the outcome in the delegates’ hands. Conferences are tense, engaging, and harness your strategic and diplomatic skills as you prepare speeches, lead your group, and pass a resolution through designated speaking time as well

as unmoderated discussion and planning periods.

One of the best things about Model UN is how it can help you learn about international affairs and, on a small scale, the importance of diplomacy in global politics. Even though there are no actual consequences for passing a faulty resolution, or one that could have been detrimental to a certain cause, learning diplomatic skills that can help you lead a group and work with others is invaluable.

If you are interested in something more high-tension, where risks do seem eminent, look no further than Crisis Committees. Unlike typical United Nations-based committees, Crisis Com-

mittees are usually based on company boards, national governments, or other more creative groups. Most importantly, Crisis Committees happen in real time and multiple smaller resolutions, called directives, are passed; once a directive is passed, the moderator of the Crisis Committee explains the result it had on the world and you as a group must react. Crisis Committees can involve behind-the-back trades, crime, conspiracy, and cooperation. Needless to say, there is something for anyone interested in public speaking and politics in Model UN. Of course, there are awards for such skills. At the end of each conference, recognition for honorable del-

egates and outstanding delegates is given, and the best delegate of the committee receives the gavel used by the chair. Last year, the Gonzaga team had a hugely successful gavel season, winning a total of 15 gavels, more than ever before. This year, we hope to have an even better year with online conferences. Better yet, most conferences are well organized and some use platforms better than Zoom.

If you are interested in joining the Model UN club to try and learn the ropes of international politics and diplomacy or if you are just looking for something engaging to do this year, contact Josh Maggiano, Timmy Shaheen, Mr. Cardozo or myself to get involved!

COVID Vaccine Trials, Approval & Distribution By: Liam Thomson ‘22 Contributor Since early March 2020, we have felt the full force of the global pandemic caused by the infamous coronavirus. For many of us, our lives were drastically changed and we were thrown into a period of uncertainty and fear. From the very beginning, the idea of an effective vaccine was viewed as a critical point in effectively curtailing the pandemic. Shortly following this, hundreds of pharmaceutical companies and universities began the grueling and difficult task of effectively

developing a vaccine.

Fast forward to November 2020, the top headlines of the day consist of two pharmaceutical companies, Pfizer and Moderna, revealing their vaccines to be quite promising based on results of their vaccine trials. Moderna estimates that their vaccine has an efficacy rate of approximately 94 percent while Pfizer estimates their efficacy rate around 95 percent. It is important to note that these numbers are based on specific cases among the trial patients that contracted coronavirus, which were quite limited for each com-

pany; additionally, efficacy rate refers to the calculations produced from the vaccine trials. While both vaccines are still waiting for Food and Drug Administration, FDA, approval, these preliminary results are extremely positive and we should expect to see a vaccine distributed sooner rather than later. Following the approval of these vaccines, the next step would be the distribution process, a similarly complicated process.

Seeking to offer a clear distribution picture, the Centers for Disease and Control and Prevention, CDC, has

devised a three phase vaccine distribution. The first phase includes the high risk populations, like healthcare workers/doctors and people living in nursing homes while the second phase adds in people with a more moderate but still high risk, like teachers and workers in the food supply chain. Finally, the third phase accounts for the people at a lower risk, like younger adults. At the moment, however, states will most likely have the ability to determine their own “phasing systems”.

Based on the Trump Administrations’ Operation Warp Speed, the states have al-

ready determined the number of vaccine doses they will need for the initial round of distribution; additionally, approximately 40 million vaccine doses should be ready to distribute once Pfizer and Moderna receive FDA approval.

As a result of all the extensive research and hard work of thousands of people, we are nearing a major breakthrough and are closer than ever to receiving a vaccine.

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Two Schools, Two Productions, One Article

By: Gabe Brady ‘21 Editor-in-Chief The Aquilian Adelaide Machado Ulm ‘21 Marketing Editor The Wicket Georgetown Visitation

said. “It certainly isn’t the show we envisioned last year, but I think the chance for actors to practice acting to a camera and for tech to adapt to new filming locations is ultimately going to be a positive experience for the Visitation theater department,” she concluded, echoing Pringle’s excitement for the new The premiere of fall musivirtual format. cal “Jesus Christ Superstar” was streamed at 7 p.m., Friday, November 20. Due to COVID-19 restrictions, this performance was the first streamed musical in the history of Visitation theater.

Performing Arts Director Neptune Pringle III was optimistic about the new setting of the performance. Postponed from last spring, “Jesus Christ Superstar” appears to be optimal for a virtual setting. “The great thing about ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’ is that there isn’t really dialogue,” he said. “It’s a rock opera. The entire show is sung. Singing is not permitted during the pandemic because it is a bit of a super-spreader.”

The performance was professionally filmed in various locations around campus by cohort starting November 1.

Although vocals and instrumentals were already pre-recorded, actors performed their scenes, sometimes without any of their fellow actors if they were in difActress Maddy Walsh `21 ferent cohorts. “Movie magic! who played Mary Magdalene That’s the great thing about noted the difficulty of the more film,” Pringle said regarding imaginative acting. Walsh comthe editing process. “The actors mented that the vocal aspect of and tech crew have been getting the musical was easier because a real crash course in how mathey had to record at home due jor motion pictures are made.” to DC Department of Health reThe footage was cut and mastrictions on activities such as neuvered so the actors appeared singing. “I was able to sit there as if they spoke and interacted all day singing the song over with each other. and over again until I got one Stage Manager Ellie Rubin I really loved. Onstage, I only `21 has witnessed the dedicagot one shot and that was it,” tion of the tech team since the she said. “By pre-recording it,

have to act on an internal level.”

Despite the loss of the live audience, many involved in the arts believe this virtual format will allow those who might not have been able to make it to the Cor Jesu Theatre to watch the performance.

“I think the cool thing with the arts is that we always are ingenuitive and always creating,

The current center of attention, for obvious reasons, is the safety of the cast and crew.

Actors will perform their monologues in front of a camera, and afterwards, Buckley says, the GDA members will combine the speeches “into a movie format, which will premiere on Gonzaga’s social media accounts on December 11.”

thinking, and finding new ways Among the actors, feelings to do things,” Pringle said. “We are bittersweet– Jacob Wells, are keeping the arts alive.”

Class of 2021, acknowledges the downside of “not being able - Adelaide Machado Ulm ‘21 to go in and rehearse like [he] used to,” but he notes the gratiMarketing Editor fication of being “able to put on The Wicket a production [his] senior year Georgetown Visitation despite the pandemic.”

Paul Weaver, a senior at 2020-21 was already a moGonzaga, also indicates the mentous school year for Gonzaga before the pandemic hit. highs and lows of theater perforFounded in 1821, 2021 marks mance this fall. “It’s obviously the school’s two-hundred-year been very different for us due anniversary. The Gonzaga Dra- to the pandemic,” he says. “But *Photo taken Pre-COVID

previous spring. She recounts the many months spent on the onstage set design, lighting, and sound production and worried the outdoor scenes would not be able to portray the extent of the work they put into it. “There’s been meticulous planning in making sure everyone who has dedicated so many hours to this production gets screen time, and I think this is the perfect show to highlight some of the beautiful spots we have on campus, especially in the fall,” Rubin

I was able to make some character choices in advance to put into the music. I’m able to plan it all out.”

Regarding acting, Walsh said, “It’ll all be behind the mask, but we don’t even have to sing or talk in person. I’m going to have to use my eyes a lot!

There’s going to be no audience to see how they’re reacting or see that’s working. You’re kind of on your own and you have to just work with it. You really

matic Association (GDA) looks to commemorate the moment, despite the pandemic, with a production this fall. GDA moderator Paul Buckley, excited for the upcoming program, says, “In order to keep [Gonzaga’s] cast and crew members safe while still wanting to perform for the Gonzaga community, the GDA is performing a series of monologues and speeches covering the past two hundred years.”

Sarah, our director, Mr. Buckley, and Mr. Spencer came up with a great idea to be able to do theater even while separated.”

Like Jacob, Paul highlights the hardship of performing alone – “I’m not going to lie,” he admits, “it’s been difficult to do theater by myself, but we have weekly meetings as a group and it’s been fun to see everyone’s faces. From what I’ve seen it’s shaping to be pretty great, and hopefully we’ll be back onstage

this spring.”

Luke Rizzo ‘21 describes his acting process in the new format: “My monologue was an excerpt from ‘The Actor’s Nightmare,’ so I got to portray an actor being forced to perform a Shakespeare soliloquy on opening night without attending a single rehearsal. It was a nice change of pace because I got to improvise a lot and be kind of erratic.

I’ve tried to just be as crazy as possible while I’m practicing because I’m supposed to be slowly losing my composure while on stage, so I have had a lot of room to experiment.”

Regarding his recently filmed monologue, Luke says he is “satisfied with [his] work and [his] performance,” and “looks forward to assisting” with his friends’ monologues.

S e n i o r B r e n d a n O’Boyle illustrates the production process: “Each person is assigned a production team that corresponds with our cohort, and every person on the team has a role, whether it’s camera operator, editor, or their turn to film their monologue. Getting to work with all of the camera equipment is actually quite enjoyable, not to mention we can redo parts of our speeches and just refilm them, making the whole thing considerably less stressful.” On the practicing schedule, O’Boyle notes, “We only have practices every Friday instead of almost every day.

Despite this, I have enjoyed the little time I’ve gotten with the GDA, as that old sense of community hasn’t changed a bit.”

Like all extracurricular activities, the Gonzaga theater program has had to adapt and react to the strange circumstances it was dealt. Despite the whirlwind of recent events, the GDA has ensured that even in the most unpredictable of situations, the cast and crew will work hard and persevere to create a great performance and experience for the (virtual) audience.

Catch the event on December 11 streaming across Gonzaga’s Facebook and other social media accounts.

- Gabe Brady ‘21 Editor-in-Chief The Aquilian Gonzaga College High School

Top 10 Christmas Songs By: Jackson Baldrate ‘23 Contributor Every year, during the holiday season, the radio is flooded with hundreds of Christmas songs. Sometimes it’s hard to keep track of all the best ones, so here are the top 10 Christmas songs of all time.

10. Last Christmas, Wham Last Christmas was written in 1984 when George Michael and other members of Wham! were visiting George’s parents at his childhood home. While they were all sitting and watching TV, George Michael suddenly ran upstairs and wrote this Christmas classic in under an hour in his childhood bedroom.

9. Underneath the Tree, Kelly Clarkson

One of the newer Christmas songs, “Underneath the Tree,” was released in 2013

by Kelly Clarkson. It became an instant hit and shot to Number One on the Billboard Top 100. This upbeat Christmas pop song has quickly become a holiday favorite and is one of the most played Christmas songs around the world.

8. Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree, Brenda Lee Rockin’Around the Christmas Tree is a Christmas classic that was released in 1958.

Despite how old Brenda Lee sounds in the song, she sang and recorded it when she was only 13 years old.

7. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, Jackson 5 This ageless Christmas song was originally written in 1952 by Jimmy Boyd. It’s been covered by hundreds of

The Wizards By: John Ferrara ‘22 Editor The Washington Wizard’s front office has done a phenomenal job of rebuilding a directionless team over the past month or so. Yes, the team traded away John Wall, but the return on that exchange plus the assets gained in this year’s draft have catapulted Washington right back into playoff contention.

A few weeks ago, General Manager Tommy Shepard opted to draft Israeli strong forward Deni Avdija and Michigan State point guard Cassius Winston in the NBA Draft. Avdija offers an array of talents, including (but not limited to) his ability to put up three-point shots, his playmaking skills while offthe-ball, and his lanky build, which will complement Bradley Beal nicely next season. While not on the same level as Avdija, Cassius Winston offers quality depth at the point guard position.

On the evening of December 2nd, the front office agreed to send Wizards legend John Wall and a future first-round pick to the Houston Rockets in exchange for perennial All-Star point guard Russell Westbrook.

The trade shocked the league and all of its fans, especially those in the DMV area.

John Wall’s departure, at least to me, seemed inevitable. He sustained a gruesome Achilles injury back in December of 2018 and hasn’t played since. Pair that with

the fact that he and co-star Bradley Beal have notorious animosity towards one another, and it became evident that Wall’s future wasn’t going to be with the Wizards.

Acquiring a healthy Russell Westbrook, who leads Wall in every career stat aside from assists per game, will help this team. Their contracts are about the same, with each player costing their team roughly $40 million annually. Westbrook is a bit older than Wall, but he’s far healthier and far happier playing alongside Bradley Beal.

Still, the question remains how Westbrook and Beal, who averaged over 30 points per game last season himself, will mesh. At this point, I would rather have Russell Westbrook than John Wall solely for the immense upside he offers. If the Wizards figure out an arrangement in which Beal and Westbrook are happy being on the court together, they could launch themselves into the discussion for being the best backcourt in the entire NBA Without a doubt, the Washington Wizards are a better basketball team than they were just a few weeks ago, and the front office deserves a lot of credit for the moves they’ve made. While we don’t know precisely when the next NBA season will start, there is a lot of reason to be optimistic for the Wizards’ prospects as we enter a new era of Washington basketball.

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artists, but the most popular version is the one performed

by Jackson 5. Michael Jackson, who sang the lead vocals in the song, was only 12 years old when it was released.

6. It’s Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas, Perry Como This timeless song was written by Meredith Wilson in 1951. It was performed by countless Christmas music legends such as Dean Martin, Bing Crosby, Perry Como, and Johnny Mathis. Mathis’ version became the most popular and is the version used in Home Alone 2.

5. Jingle Bell Rock, Bobby Helms Jingle Bell Rock is considered the first mainstream rock’n’roll Christmas song.

Bobby Helms was a successful country artist when he

wrote the song, and this song was equally successful, as it reached Number Three on the Billboard Top 100.

4. Baby, it’s Cold Outside, Dean Martin and Marylin Maxwell This holiday favorite was written in 1944 by Frank Loesser for a housewarming party he and his wife were throwing. This song was covered by many artists throughout the years, most famously

by Dean Martin and Marylin Maxwell.

3. It’s The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year, Andy Williams This song was written for Andy Williams’ Christmas special in 1963. The song’s popularity earned Williams the title of “Mr. Christmas.”

It has become a holiday standard and has been performed

by numerous artists over the years.

2. Feliz Navidad, José Feliciano This upbeat holiday classic was written by Puerto Rican singer-songwriter José Feliciano. It’s a combination of English and Spanish, and Feliciano said he included the English line, “I want to wish you a merry Christmas” so that it would gain popularity in the US. 1. All I Want for Christmas is You, Mariah Carey This holiday masterpiece is undoubtedly the biggest and best Christmas song of all time. It holds three Guiness World Records, one for amassing 10.8 million streams on Spotify on December 24th, 2018, the most ever in a 24 hour period.

Holidays

Gifts

Food

By: Rob Dimond ‘21 Contributor

By: Patrick Fogarty ‘21 Editor

By: Luke Wood ‘22 Contributor

If you’re like me, you love the Holidays. And I don’t mean you just enjoy them, I mean you keep a countdown till Christmas and start listening to music in early November, maybe even late October! Before you pass judgment, let me explain why you should be doing the same thing.

Christmas is a oncea-year celebration. Some people seem to want it to last for as little as possible.

They avoid Christmas music and movies at all costs until at least December 1st. The problem with this is that you might not be getting enough Holiday spirit.

The Christmas spirit is meant to build up for weeks and reside for even a few weeks after Christmas. It is good to get started early by being extra nice to your siblings and buying your Mom a gift, so why wait until after Thanksgiving? It’s nice to get a good head start on listening to classics like “Sleigh Ride” and “Jingle Bells” so that you get high in the spirits. This is why I get prepared before Thanksgiving: what better way to get in a good mood?

If music isn’t your style, you can always watch some great movies such as Tim Allen’s ‘The Santa Clause,’ or some classic claymations like ‘A Year Without a Santa Claus’ or ‘Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer.’ Don’t be a Grinch.

Some spoiled teenager ranking the worst gifts his generous family can buy...

Christmas socks - Why in Santa’s name do I get holiday socks? They’re lame and I can’t even wear them for another 300 days until it’s December again. And no, I don’t care if grandma “home knit them through her crippling arthritis” or whatever.

Vacation - I hate flying. Especially coach. I need to stretch my legs or else I get grouchy.

Getting there is even worse.

Wherever we land it is either way too hot or way too cold.

PS5 - Don’t bring that Sony garbage into my presence. I have made it clear I want the Xbox Series X. Leave that “EVE from Wall-E” looking console at Target. 2.

Dinner - Do NOT let me catch my parents trying to give another restaurant reservation to me. I don’t want to hear any “it’s a world renowned restaurant,” “there is a four year waitlist,” or “Taylor Swift will bring out the cake and sing you happy birthday” nonsense like last year. Just get me an UberEats gift card and let me eat alone in my room.

Audi - Audis are so overrated. The branding literally looks like an industrial version of the Olympics logo.

Porsche is so much better, plus their logo is a horse.

Also, my current chauffeur smells like prunes so get me a new one.

Thanksgiving, the thirdbest holiday. Here’s my ranking of Thanksgiving foods.

To start things off is the bottom tier. Some of the foods include canned cranberry sauce, boiled green beans, salads. These are the foods that people usually go for last. Nobody really wants to have it, but they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings so they will take some anyway.

The middle tier consists of foods that are a staple in the traditional Thanksgiving meal. Mashed potatoes, turkey, rolls, and many other items. These are foods you can’t go wrong with. But there are always plenty of leftovers. This is what you make into a sandwich or a stew the day after Thanksgiving.

Now we have the top tier. These are the cream of the crop. Your grandma’s recipes. These foods generally take hours to make, are cooked low and slow, and have been in the family of your generations. I’m talking the homemade stuffing, the creamy baked casserole, the warm apple pie with vanilla ice cream and whipped cream. Nobody wants to skip out on these foods.

My list is probably different than others. We all have different tastes. After all, I think Thanksgiving is overrated. But nonetheless, I am thankful for all that I have and was able to enjoy a delicious meal with family.

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The Dingell Corner: The December Edition

By: Bobby Dingell ‘22 Contributor -I got news for you boys…

Christmas came early this year, and it’s coming in the form of an immaculate December edition of The Dingell Corner. And there’s really no better way to get into the holiday spirit, that I know of, than reading my overly-aggressive takes and biased opinions of the NFL. I hope you enjoy and that this article changes your life. Here we go.

Tier I: The Blue Bloods Kansas City Chiefs They have threats upon threats on offense. Each guy complements the other and their O-line is playing great. I believe they are the strongest team in the league, but I could see an upset happening in the playoffs because winning anything 2x in a row is always hard to do.

Pittsburgh Steelers Their defense has by far the best turnover ratio in the league which in my opinion is what wins big games and they have been doing that. The cluster of good offense and good defense is always a recipe for a superbowl.

Tier II: The Big 10 Seattle Seahawks Their defense has gotten better lately after a rough start to the season, but their offense is what truly makes them great.

Green Bay Packers The only way Rodgers will win a super bowl is if he brings the discount double check back.

But seriously he has had a monster season and might win MVP. Tennessee Titans It’s the most wonderful time of the year; and the monster that is Derrick Henry has been known to feast on defeated defenses during the month of December throughout his career.

Arizona Cardinals Kyler Murray has looked like the roadrunner when he gets out of the pocket and makes defenses look silly week in and week out.

Buffalo Bills They finished most of their games well this season and have picked up a lot of big wins excluding that Hail Murray they gave up in Week 10 against the Cardinals.

Tampa Bay Bucs These guys will be good, but the tensions between Tom Brady and Bruce Arians have reportedly been rising in the meeting room as Bruce has been furiously making Tom pass down the field when that’s not his strength.

Los Angeles Rams Jared Goff hasn’t lived up to his contract and has looked like a total goof out there with how many turnovers he’s given up.

Their defense though is really good.

Las Vegas Raiders They play hard Gruden football and their defense has looked outstanding. Derek Carr needs to improve if they want to make a run for it though.

San Francisco 49ers They continue to win games with so many injured players.

Indianapolis Colts Their defense has been doing well and holding them in big games, but with a rusty Phil Rivers I don’t see them going far.

Tier III: Good Teams Atlanta Falcons Interim coach Raheem Morris has been surprisingly really good and won some big games.

Cleveland Browns They are the fakest team for what their record will show you.

Baltimore Ravens Lamar got hit hard by the Madden curse this year. Luckily for Ravens fans they got to see a McSorely x Hollywood TD connection weeks ago in Pittsburgh on a Wednesday which was a thing of beauty.

Houston Texans Deshaun has gotten better as the season went on, but the suspension of his WR1, Will Fuller, was sad to see.

New England Patriots Watching the Patriots this year is like watching cement dry.

However, this offensive style tires out the opposing defenses which has led them to surpris-

NBA 2021 By: Daniel Jordanoff ‘24 Contributor The Los Angeles Lakers have been crowned the kings of the basketball world. Lebron James has just won his fourth NBA championship and his fourth NBA Finals MVP trophy. Here are a few of the best reasons that basketball fans should be ecstatic for the new NBA season. #1: Superstar duos and the lack of superstar teams.

In 2018 when the NBA took a survey, the overwhelming majority of basketball fans said that their hatred was directed towards the super teams (Golden State Warriors from 2015-2017). However, the 2021 season brings no such team and instead many teams with incredible superstar duos. For example: Kawhi Leonard and Paul George, Lebron James and Anthony Davis, James Harden and Russell Westbrook, Ben Simmons and Joel Embid, and even Jammal Murray and Nikola Jokic.

in NBA history, the two Los Angeles teams were ranked first and second amongst the teams in the Western Conference. With the Los Angeles Clippers succumbing to maybe the greatest comeback of the NBA season, when they fell to the Nuggets in the second round of the playoffs after having a 3-1 series lead, they have a lot to prove this season. On the other hand, the Lakers have already proved that they are the best.

Coming off their title winning year with Lebron James and A.D. at the helm, you know they will be looking to go back to back. As the NBA season progresses the battle for LA will become increasingly more exciting and just the battle for the city alone, will have many fans cheering.

#3: Offseason Moves Jrue Holiday, a former all-star will be looking to regain his status as one of the best players in the NBA, now that he is on a team with Khris Middleton and Giannis Antetokounmpo. We will #2: The Battle for LA. also see if this can make the Last season for the first time Bucks a title contender af-

ingly pull off some big wins against good teams when they needed to.

Minnesota Vikings They’ve gotten solid work out of Theilen and Cook this year.

Justin Jefferson is giving off big 2016 rookie Odell vibes and has made the griddy my personal touchdown celebration.

Miami Dolphins They don’t get in the endzone much and are running low on Fitzmagic to take them to the playoffs.

Los Angeles Chargers They lost a lot of close games this year but have a bright future in QB, Justin Herbert, to look forward to.

Carolina Panthers They are the best bad team in the league.

New Orleans Saints If Drew Brees is there, they are top 5. If he is not, they are not and a waste of a playoff spot.

Tier IV: Eh..

Chicago Bears What a downhill turn of events since starting 5-1. They can’t score at all on offense.

Detroit Lions Just Imagine a team saying they weren’t happy with consecutive 9-7 years under Jim Caldwell.

Well, this is the Lions for you and now the Matt Patricia parade is over with nothing to show for it except a bewildered franchise who may never win a superbowl at this rate.

Washington Football Team They have played the best out of all the NFC East teams, but have a really hard schedule coming up which will make it hard to edge it out in the tight divisional race.

New York Giants It’s anyone’s game as of now in the NFC east and why not the Giants.

Dallas Cowboys They are my pick to make the playoffs in the NFC East because their schedule is easier than everyone else’s.

Denver Broncos Drew Lock has been a subpar quarterback and has terrible touchdown celebrations.

Philadelphia Eagles Everyone in Philly has been up in arms about Carson Wentz’s playing this year and they want the gingerbread man out.

Tier V: Completely Out of It Cincinnati Bengals I have literally nothing good to say about them so I wont.

Jacksonville Jaguars James Robinson has been sneaky good this year, but the Jags haven’t been. Womp, Womp :( New York Jets They look sort of competitive when Joe Flacco is in, but they are definitely going through a rebuild period right now.

NBA Draft & FA ter they had a disappointing second round playoff exit at the hands of Jimmy Butler, and the Miami Heat. Arguably the most exciting trade of the NBA offseason so far has been the Chris Paul trade.

Chris Paul has been traded to the Phoenix Suns to partner up with Devin Booker, while the Oklahoma City Thunder pile up first round draft picks.

We will see what receiving a seasoned veteran, does to a relatively young Suns team.

While on the other hand, The Oklahoma City Thunder might have the best looking future in the NBA, they have amassed an incredible 16 first round draft picks in the next 6 NBA drafts. Finally, the last trade we will be talking about is the Dennis Schröder to the LA Lakers trade. The weakest spot for the Lakers last year was their team lacking a true point guard and having Lebron James play point guard. Having a young Dennis Schröder on the Lakers will only make them better.

Now possessing a true point guard the Lakers could be realistic contenders for back to back titles.

By: Drew Norton ‘23 Contributor The biggest winner, in my opinion, is the Golden State Warriors. They acquired the final piece they needed to have a complete team in James Wiseman. At 7’1 and close to 250 pounds, Wiseman will provide them with much needed presence inside on the defensive end. The Warriors also picked up Kelly Oubre from the Phoenix Suns. Oubre will likely fill in nicely for Klay Thompson, who recently was re-injured and will miss all of the 2021 season. Wiseman, alongside Draymond Green and Oubre, will create problems for their opponents at the defensive end. This in addition to the shooting they have with Stephen Curry and Klay Thompson (when he’s back) will be difficult to handle. Let’s not forget former 2014 #1 lottery pick Andrew Wiggins, who could make a solid third option at offensive end. Bob Myers did a great job putting this team together and is my early pick for GM of the year.

My second biggest winner on draft night is the Char-

lotte Hornets. They acquired the number 1 overall prospect at the number 3 pick with Lamelo Ball. He will immediately help their offense with his tremendous playmaking ability and will likely get his teammates involved at the offensive end. There are questions about his shot, but I believe he will be able to develop it throughout the season if he decides to work hard. The Hornets also made a big and potentially risky move in acquiring former All Star Gordon Hayward.

The third biggest winner of the draft is the Philadelphia 76ers. They made plenty of trades to acquire a solid starting five. The additions of Seth Curry and Danny Green will provide the 76ers with a good pair of shooters around Joel Embid and Ben Simmons. History shows us that you can’t go wrong with drafting Kentucky thoroughbreds, as they did this year with Tyrese Maxey. Add an athletic big in Paul Reed and athletic guard Isaiah Joe out of Arkansas, and the future looks good in Philly.

By: Benji Garland ‘23 Contributor While 2020 has let us down in many ways, the rap industry did not disappoint this year. This article will break down the top five mainstream rap albums released in 2020, five honorable mentions, and why they all deserve to make this list.

1. “My Turn” performed

by Lil Baby There is no doubt that Lil Baby brought the heat this year with hits like “Sum 2 Prove,” “We Paid,” “The Bigger Picture,” and many more.

His album “My Turn” flaunts features from the most popular in the industry such as Lil Wayne, Young Thug, Gunna, Lil Uzi, and more, and while the songs featuring these artists were instant classics, these features also call attention to Lil Baby’s ability to make a hit solo track. He is able to make a dynamic and entertaining track on his own and we can see this through songs like “Sum 2 Prove,”

2020 Rap Review “The Bigger Picture,” and others. Lil Baby also showed clear improvement in the lyrical aspect of the industry, with emotional tracks like “The Bigger Picture” and “Emotionally Scarred” giving us a look into his personal struggles and feelings on racial tensions in the country.

The diversity of the vibes accomplished in this album is what separates it from all of the others. This album includes songs that you could go to sleep to, get hyped to, or be sad to. Considering all of this, Lil Baby clearly established himself as one of the greats with this project.

2. “The Goat” performed

by Polo G “The Goat” by Polo G is objectively one of the best projects of the year. On this album, Polo brought the hype and the heart. With upbeat tracks like “Go Stupid” and “Chinatown” bringing the energy, and heartfelt tracks like “Martin & Gina,” and “21” bringing the emotion, “The Goat” is one of the most

dynamic projects of this year. way that Juice WRLD did, and will continue to do on fu3. “Legends Never Die” ture posthumous releases. performed by Juice WRLD, curated by Grade A Pro- 4. “Shoot for the Stars, Aim for the Moon” performed ductions Juice WRLD was one of by Pop Smoke, curated by the most established names Republic Records Following Pop Smoke’s in the rap game, and he still tragic death earlier this year, remains on top of the game even after his death earlier his record label was able to this year. On “Legends Never put together a track list of unDie,” Juice WRLD’s record released music that changed label chose a track list of his image forever. The feaemotional unreleased songs tures on this album bring that include many heart- it full circle and exemplify breaking lines. This album the unity that came with his highlights Juice WRLD’s death. Artists like Lil Baby, talent of creating emotional Roddy Ricch, A Boogie bonds with fans through his wit da Hoodie, and 50 cent music. Hits like “Conversa- helped Pop’s team to finish tions” and “Wishing Well” incomplete tracks by adding give fans insight on Juice in their own versus. This alWRLD’s mental instabil- bum shows that Pop’s career ity and drug abuse problems, was deeper than New York which ultimately led to his drill rap and gave us a look death. The artistic instrumen- into Pop Smoke’s sentimentals and poetic lines made tal side, which showed the this raw album a no brainer talent he had. for me when putting the top five list together. I truly be- 5. “Detroit 2” performed by lieve there is no artist that Big Sean speaks their truth in the same On Big Sean’s “Detroit

The Grammys By: Reid Norton ‘21 Features Editor

was extremely happy to see Coldplay on here, as I am a huge fan of their new album.

Recently, the nomina- However, after listening to tions for the Grammys were Djesse vol. 3, I was blown released, sparking the usual controversy over who deserved the nomination and who didn’t, proposing the thought that maybe 2020 isn’t so different after all. As there are an immense number of categories and nominations, I will be detailing the general field. First up is record of the year, with nominating artists Post Malone, Beyoncé, Black Pumas, and Meghan Thee Stallion. This recognizes not just the artist, but the producers and the recording away. Collier is extremely engineers. Personally, I think talented, and with features Black Pumas deserves this from notable vocalists such with their song “Colors,” a as Daniel Caesar, never fails beautiful song in its entire- to impress. Song of the year ty. I sincerely hope it is not was met with nominations overshadowed by other Tik- from songs such as “Circles” Tok songs in this category. by Post Malone and “CardiFollowing this is album of gan” by Taylor Swift. Honthe year, with great diver- estly, I was pretty torn over sity in their nominations. A which song takes the cake, few notable albums that were but if I had to choose, I’d nominated were Jhené AI- probably go with Billie Eiko’s “Chilombo,” Coldplay’s lish’s song “Everything I “Everyday Life,” and Jacob Wanted.” I’m not much of a Collier’s “Djesse vol. 3.” I Billie fan myself, but I really

The Aquilian 7

2,” we see lyricism that we had never gotten from Big Sean before. Big Sean made it clear on this album that he was not an industry rapper who was controlled by his label, and that he had the ability to write lyrics that used metaphors and oxymorons to tell his story.

Honorable Mentions “B4 the Storm” arranged by Internet Money “Music to be Murdered by” performed by Eminem “PTSD” performed by G Herbo “Good Intentions” performed

by NAV “Cloudy Nueve” performed

by Cloudy Nueve, curated by Hella Clout

AOC Among Us

By: Teddy Friesz ‘24 liked her vocal performance.

Contributor I had to do some research for best new artist, as there were Democratic congressa lot of unfamiliar names on woman Alexandria Ocasiothe list. As much as I hate to Cortez (AOC), recently live streamed Among Us on Twitch. This was initially what I was going to write about, but just a few days ago something amazing happened: AOC did it again.

For the three of you who don’t already know, Among Us is a social deduction and murder mystery videogame, that blew up recently when several notable YouTubers and Twitch streamers started playing it around September of 2020. Over a month ago, AOC decided it was time to join the trend and streamed the game on Twitch, along with fellow congresswoman, Ilhan Omar. The two politicians played several rounds say it, success-wise, which is of Among Us along with the standard by which they some popular streamers, injudge this category, I would cluding DrLupo and Pokihave to go with Meghan mane. Although certainly an Thee Stallion. Love her or unconventional way to conhate her, she has put up some nect with voters, the stream pretty amazing numbers this was ultimately a success. year, releasing hit after hit. The stream attracted over If you want to find out more 439,000 live viewers, putabout the Grammy nominees ting it within the top 20 most and the results, I highly rec- viewed Twitch streams ever. ommend that you tune in to In addition, millions of peothe Grammys, airing on CBS ple watched recordings of the on January 31st. stream after the fact.

This was a huge accom-

plishment, as not even the biggest of Trump rallies attract this many people, and Trump is the president. In addition, the stream was a great way to connect to younger voters, many of whom are liberal or progressive.

This stream happened over a month ago and is probably completely old news.

However, you would be foolish to think that AOC’s aspirations for complete control over the Skeld would end after just one measly live stream. Instead, a week ago, AOC decided to once again play Among Us. This time, the stream was focused around COVID relief, and all donations from viewers went towards that cause. This new stream was once again successful, managing to raise over $200,000 in donations towards providing COVID relief.

This new form of political campaigning was a huge success and will likely become more widespread in the future. If only Donald Trump had employed the same strategy, he may have been able to pull off a win in the 2020 election. After all, I’m sure everyone would have wanted to see “The Donald” himself get voted off the ship after venting in plain sight.

Help! I Ripped the Space-Time Continuum!

By: Will Buffaloe ‘21 Editor Recently, the Aquillian has been getting a lot of questions from readers about what to do in the event they rip the Space-Time Continuum. While many of us editors were puzzled as to why we were getting an average of 10 questions per week, I explained that ripping the Space-Time Continuum is a fairly normal occurrence. In fact, 1 in every 27 people will create a tear in the SpaceTime fabric in their lifetime.

So, in an attempt to address this relatable quandary, I’ve comprised this article of tips and tricks for dealing with such an annoying quantum event.

First things first, you have to ask yourself how you tore the Space-Time fabric. Did you build a particle accelerator that malfunctioned and opened a quantum gateway?

If you did, you’ve ripped the Space-Time fabric. Did you come to the realization that free will is most likely an il-

lusion? If you did, you’ve ripped the Space-Time fabric. Did you visit your grandparents house and remark that a picture of your grandfather at your age looked exactly like you, prompting your grandfather to nervously cover up a birthmark on his left arm that is identical to the one on your left arm?

If this happened, then you’ve ripped the Space-Time fabric. Did you open Snapchat on a computer? If so, you’ve ripped the Space-Time fabric. Did you forget to set you clocks back on November 1 If you forgot, you’ve ripped the Space-Time fabric.

Now that you’re aware of what caused the tear, let’s talk about what might occur.

The most probable outcome would be a blackhole appearing somewhere in your backyard. It’ll likely only be the size of a quarter at first, but don’t let its appearance fool you. If not properly treated, a black hole can wipe an entire planet out of existence. So, the best course of action is st?

to take the black hole to your nearest quantum physicist— it’ll be their problem now.

However, if you can’t find one on short notice, invite the blackhole in for dinner—it’ll eat anything with the exception of Junior Mints because, quite frankly, they’re just chocolate covered toothpaste.

There’s a debate within the science community as to where a black hole should sleep. The current consensus is in a gravity-free chamber.

However, I’m going to suggest something controversial.

There is nothing wrong with letting the black hole stay in the spare bedroom, as long as it’s let out every few hours to absorb and eradicate matter. Now, the question you all want to know: can you touch a black hole?

Speaking from experience, I can tell you it’s very fun. However, I can also tell you that three things might happen. First, the blackhole will consume you and keep growing bigger and bigger

until it devours our planet.

Second, you’ll be sent hurtling through space and time for an eternity, never to return home again. At first, this isn’t so bad, because you get to do that thing from cartoons where they go past all of the floating clocks. But, after experiencing every event in human history, (along with the heat death of the universe), things can get a little boring.

That’s why I’d suggest going with the third option (even though you have no control), which is to open a gateway to a parallel universe.

When I opened my parallel universe, I found all sorts of fun surprises. In my parallel universe, Gonzaga’s campus is just a series of giant houseboats that go up and down the Potomac every day, with the freshmen locker room being a submarine. In this universe, WZAG is a multi-billion-dollar film studio, having bought Disney to become the biggest studio in Hollywood. In fact, The Office 5 was the highest gross-

ing movie of 2019. Plus, this year, Mr. Pugliese is the Republican incumbent, and is running against Guy Fieri of the FlavorTown Party. Also, in this universe, birds don’t exist.

So, that’s my advice to you should you ever tear a hole in the Space-Time Continuum. Avoid Junior Mints, paradoxes, and extinction level events. Also, when you do visit your parallel universe, I would suggest not talking to anybody. I had one conversation with AlternateMak and accidentally started a multi-dimensional lawsuit.

Now I have to appear before the Space-Time High Council this Thursday for crimes against the multiverse. There are rumors Alternate Mak hired Alternate Kanye West as his lawyer (who’s got a real gift for lawyering in his universe), so the trial is not looking good for me. In the end, just make sure you set your clocks back.

Among Us - Why is it so Successful?

By: Jamie Whelton ‘22 Contributor Among Us, the video game sweeping much of the world, has drawn the interest of many with its unique gaming experience. Among Us is a cartoony game in which a handful of real-life players move around each other trying to find out who is the imposter. As they do this, many of them complete a series of tasks. Each game starts with confidential assigning of each player’s roles. The two roles are crewmates and imposter. Whoever is the imposter spends the game attempting to trick the rest of the crewmates into thinking he is a fellow crewmate. He

may sabotage and kill crewmates while they attempt to complete their tasks or discover him or her. Every time an imposter eliminates a crewmate, that crewmate’s body is left on the ground.

Anyone can report this body including the imposter. When one is reported, remaining crewmates and the imposter discuss who they believe the killer could be. This is what sets Among Us apart from other games - it’s social and mental as players try to figure out who is lying or what is truly going on in their lobby.

The developer team, InnerSloth, released Among Us on June 15th, 2018. You may be thinking, “Wow that was a long time ago. What

makes it a trend now?” InnerSloth has retooled the game so that is has evolved over 2 years. Following multiple updates and revisions, it suddenly gained enough traction giving it the boost it needed to be recognized. It turns out that a lot of modern-day trends take a long time before they can be noticed and appreciated. Similarly, Fortnite Battle Royale, a video game based on a survival pool of several players, gained its extreme popularity after about 6 months of being released.

Why is Among Us so successful? The game is very suitable for all audiences.

The Cartoony and simple imagery style appeals to many and most can understand it.

However, the concept is the special ingredient. The game gives power to users to be creative socially and formulate social strategies to trick possible opponents. A lot of the game involves lying and being able to tell who isn’t lying. One may use their words to convince the others that they are either good or bad which creates tension for all in each lobby. People playing Among Us develop many skills for convincing others.

In the end, Among Us is lots of fun as it stimulates different skills for all to work on and the different situations in each game create enough variety to prevent players from getting bored.

Charlie’s Chuckles: “So Many Essays” By: Charlie Neill ‘21 Editor I think I’ve written more essays in the last month than I ever have in the rest of my life. I’ll write a college application essay and think it’s pretty darn good, only to realize I’m missing verbs from

most of the sentences. Think that’s what editing is for?

Well, I’ll edit, then edit the edit, then edit the edit of the edit, maybe if I’m in a good mood I’ll edit the edit of the edit’s edit. Finally I end up with exactly what I started with, except with 75 too many words.

It’s a real problem that I can churn out brilliant essays about how great I am. Sometimes I catch myself about to launch into a rant about the “unique challenges I am driven to address through my experiences on the McKenna Immersion Trip.” I used to be the most humble guy around.

I don’t know what happened.

These days I live in dread of getting arrested and having to notify every school I’ve applied to that I was convicted of a misdemeanor. I’d probably have to explain in 150 words or less how “It was going to fall over soon anyway, I just gave it a little help.”

So while I keep staying up late writing essays, my real homework never ends up getting finished. I’m not going to even bother editing this article. I don’t have the time and it’s pretty darn good right now anyway. armadillo, millions of marbles were soaring through the sky!